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Inside Darkness
He’s come in from the field, but the darkness has followed him home. After a decade as an aid worker, Cameron Donnelly returns home jaded, tired, and with more than just a minor case of PTSD. Plagued by recurring nightmares but refusing to admit he has a problem, Cam quickly spirals into an alcohol-infused depression, and everyone around him is at a loss for how to help. Journalist Tyler Ang met Cam on a reporting assignment in Kenya, and their first encounters were rife with hostility and sexual tension. Back in New York, their paths continually cross, and each time, Cam’s brokenness reminds Ty more and more of his own difficult childhood. Letting Cam in goes against Ty’s instinct to live life autonomously, but the damaged aid worker manages to sneak past his guard. Their relationship is all sharp corners and rough edges, and just as they’re figuring out how to fit together, a life-threatening accident puts it all in jeopardy. If they want a future together, both will have to set aside their egos and learn to carry each other’s burdens. Word 71,700; page 269
269 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 11, 2018
17 people are currently reading
416 people want to read
About the author
Hudson Lin
17 books86 followersHudson Lin was raised by conservative immigrant parents and grew up straddling two cultures with oftentimes conflicting perspectives on life. Instead of conforming to either, she has sought to find a third way that brings together the positive elements of both.
Having spent much of her life on the outside looking in, Lin likes to write stories about outsiders who fight to carve out their place in society, and overcome everyday challenges to find love and happily ever afters.
When not engrossed in a story, Lin knits, drinks tea, and works the 9 to 5 in the beautiful city of Toronto, Canada.
Having spent much of her life on the outside looking in, Lin likes to write stories about outsiders who fight to carve out their place in society, and overcome everyday challenges to find love and happily ever afters.
When not engrossed in a story, Lin knits, drinks tea, and works the 9 to 5 in the beautiful city of Toronto, Canada.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
April 11, 2018
4.25 Hearts
I honestly don't know what came over me here. Nothing about that blurb usually appeals to me. Hurt/Comfort is hit or miss. I'm averse to books that feature mental illness. Pain usually sends me into the blanket fort, but for whatever reason when I first saw this book a couple months ago I was drawn to it. Maybe it's the word 'darkness' in the title, maybe it's the cover or maybe it's some weird woowoo shit. Whatever it was I'm glad for it, because this book was seriously good.
Cam has spent 10 years as a UN aid worker. He's a lifer but that dedication has taken its toll. His PTSD is at the forefront of this story and well portrayed; there are no magic cures. It takes work and his trauma isn't something that disappears when he connects with Ty. He's plagued by nightmares, battles depression, anger outbursts and avoidance behaviors even after he's been in treatment a while. He's been through a lot but I enjoyed the authenticity of there being one standout incident that not only traumatized him but forced him to change. The struggle to downshift out of that mentality isn't an easy thing for him. The distraction of constantly being busy while on assignment kept it at bay to a certain extent, but once he returns home those distractions evaporate. He needs to fill that darkness with something to make it go away and suffice to say, he spins out.
He met Ty while he was on assignment in Kenya and there was a connection, though short-lived, but life seems to keep throwing them together-on the flight home, at a party, wandering in a random neighborhood, they keep running into each other. I'm kind of a sucker for fate and these two seem fated to me.
Ty, too, has his own demons. He is self-reliant to a fault and almost single-mindedly driven toward his goal of becoming a successful journalist. He likes to travel light and has acquired a bit of a reputation, but Cam's vulnerability burrows beneath his armor and Ty seems to be the only person Cam turns to when it gets to be too much.
Their palpable emotional connection is what impressed me most about this book and Lin's writing style. She brought these two flawed human beings together in such an incremental way that neither of them really noticed they were in love until they had already become part of each other, fitting into the other's blank spaces. I also liked that they decided they were going to be together, despite everything they were going to make it work because the alternative was unbearable.
Their romance is a quiet but compelling one. If you're looking for a romance-y romance this will likely fall flat for you. Their relationship felt honest to me in all its rockiness. They miscommunicate. They ghost each other. Other times they are staggeringly honest with each other. They argue and can be dicks to the other, but they seem to always be drawn back together. I found myself liking both of them and rooting for them. Their journey is fraught with obstacles, some internal and some external, but what resonated was how natural their relationship evolved, how organic their conversations were and how unpretentious their story was. There's something to be said for two thorny dudes finding love.
My only quibble is Cam's "darkness". There was something about the frequency of him referring to it coupled with him referring to it as almost a separate entity that was both heavy-handed at times and somewhat disconcerting. Nevertheless, I'll definitely be keeping my eye on this author in the future.
Recommend to hurt/comfort and quiet romance fans.
An ARC was provided by NetGalley.
I honestly don't know what came over me here. Nothing about that blurb usually appeals to me. Hurt/Comfort is hit or miss. I'm averse to books that feature mental illness. Pain usually sends me into the blanket fort, but for whatever reason when I first saw this book a couple months ago I was drawn to it. Maybe it's the word 'darkness' in the title, maybe it's the cover or maybe it's some weird woowoo shit. Whatever it was I'm glad for it, because this book was seriously good.
Cam has spent 10 years as a UN aid worker. He's a lifer but that dedication has taken its toll. His PTSD is at the forefront of this story and well portrayed; there are no magic cures. It takes work and his trauma isn't something that disappears when he connects with Ty. He's plagued by nightmares, battles depression, anger outbursts and avoidance behaviors even after he's been in treatment a while. He's been through a lot but I enjoyed the authenticity of there being one standout incident that not only traumatized him but forced him to change. The struggle to downshift out of that mentality isn't an easy thing for him. The distraction of constantly being busy while on assignment kept it at bay to a certain extent, but once he returns home those distractions evaporate. He needs to fill that darkness with something to make it go away and suffice to say, he spins out.
He met Ty while he was on assignment in Kenya and there was a connection, though short-lived, but life seems to keep throwing them together-on the flight home, at a party, wandering in a random neighborhood, they keep running into each other. I'm kind of a sucker for fate and these two seem fated to me.
Ty, too, has his own demons. He is self-reliant to a fault and almost single-mindedly driven toward his goal of becoming a successful journalist. He likes to travel light and has acquired a bit of a reputation, but Cam's vulnerability burrows beneath his armor and Ty seems to be the only person Cam turns to when it gets to be too much.
It felt like too much sacrifice to be apart for anything more than a few seconds. They had navigated through a maze of wrong turns and false starts to find the real versions of each other, and they couldn't afford to lose even one moment.
Their palpable emotional connection is what impressed me most about this book and Lin's writing style. She brought these two flawed human beings together in such an incremental way that neither of them really noticed they were in love until they had already become part of each other, fitting into the other's blank spaces. I also liked that they decided they were going to be together, despite everything they were going to make it work because the alternative was unbearable.
Their romance is a quiet but compelling one. If you're looking for a romance-y romance this will likely fall flat for you. Their relationship felt honest to me in all its rockiness. They miscommunicate. They ghost each other. Other times they are staggeringly honest with each other. They argue and can be dicks to the other, but they seem to always be drawn back together. I found myself liking both of them and rooting for them. Their journey is fraught with obstacles, some internal and some external, but what resonated was how natural their relationship evolved, how organic their conversations were and how unpretentious their story was. There's something to be said for two thorny dudes finding love.
My only quibble is Cam's "darkness". There was something about the frequency of him referring to it coupled with him referring to it as almost a separate entity that was both heavy-handed at times and somewhat disconcerting. Nevertheless, I'll definitely be keeping my eye on this author in the future.
Recommend to hurt/comfort and quiet romance fans.
An ARC was provided by NetGalley.
May 17, 2018
Sometimes you feel the darkness and you can't do anything against it...
There once was a time when Cameron Donnelly was a young idealist. Openly gay and seeing no point in hiding his sexuality, he was eager to change the world. Eager to make a difference. And his job as an aid worker in refugee camps being sent to the focal points on earth, was his chance to go for it, to help people accept themselves. Stand up for themselves. Against all odds and against the narrow-mindedness of the country they were living in. Ignoring each advice of being careful, he threw caution to the wind. One horrible incident, though, showed him that pursuing one's ideals can be dangerous in some places and the result of what that means to someone he cared about, threw him into a loop of nightmares, depression, anger and a feeling of helplessness. There is a darkness looming at the edges of his mind and even if Cameron is determined to push it away, he also welcomes it when it somehow becomes his safe place, his security blanket. It also crammed him so deep into the closet, though, he is bound to never see the light of day again.
Suddenly, that changes ten years later, when Tyler Ang steps into his life. A reporter with CBN doing a coverage about the refugee camp Cam is working in. And a pain in his backside, because suddenly there is a spark of interest waking up in him. A spark of attraction. Cam is too worn-out and weak to resist it any longer and it takes everything out of him to tamp down on the spark again. Soon to be on his way home, finally admitting to himself that his job has grown way over his head and that he is burned-out to the core, there is no chance of seeing Tyler ever again anyway. Or is there?
Tyler Ang, of Chinese heritage and a refugee himself of some sorts, has his own sad life story. Growing up in foster care after the death of his beloved mother and being thrown around and harrassed more than once, his ultimate goal is to make something out of his life, to be someone, which also makes him ambitious in his job to a fault. Nothing and no one will stand in his way and he had built up bricks around his heart as high as the Chinese Wall. Hook-ups are his own distraction and that earned him a certain reputation. Suddenly there is someone, though, who sparks an interest in him. Whose vulnerability - whose broken soul - speaks to him. For him, Cam is a living contradiction and for some reason he would not mind solving this riddle, but what begins as a short encounter, seems to end exactly like that. And when his job is done, going back home will block out any chances of seeing Cam again anyway. Right?
Wrong! Fate seems to have other plans and throws both men together at the weirdest of places. Finally giving in to their attraction...
... it slowly grows into something deeper with Tyler becoming Cam's anchor and Cam scratching bit by bit at Tyler's walls, so that they are about to crumble down.
But now that Cam is home, there is nothing to occupy his mind, nothing that keeps his darkness at bay, no hard work he can bury himself into keeping him from thinking and slowly but surely it is spiraling out of control. When life sends both men into different directions, it takes another terrible incident for them to open their eyes and see what is really worth fighting for in life.
Hudson Lin is a new author to me, but no way my last book by her. The blurb immediately caught my attention because although I have a penchant for anything military-related, I tend to forget that there are other people involved - like in this case aid workers - who also experience the terror of war and the misery in the world first hand. Shame on me, I never spared a thought about how they are dealing with it. Never again, though.
The author's writing style got me sucked right into the story and made Cameron's struggle feel real and authentic. The dealing with PTSD was excellently exuded, in my opinion. I also loved the slow pace of the romance here and that even if Tyler proved to be Cam's anchor, it was not all sunshine and roses in their relationship.
The story is told in both POV's, but Tyler remained a bit bland for me compared to Cam. I wish I would have gotten a bit more insight into his past, other than the few glimpses I got and the dialogues between Tyler and Cam sometimes were a bit too... -how should I say it? - clinical? on Tyler's part for me, at least at the beginning, but maybe that is the journalist in him. These are my only niggles, though, and I absolutely adored them both together. Everytime they rested their foreheads together I was melting like ice cream in the sun. Definitely a highly recommended read from me!
May 4, 2018
3.5 stars
5/4-Full review now posted.
3.50 stars
Hudson Lin, author of Inside Darknessis a new to me author, but I will certainly keep an eye out for her books in the future.
Cameron Donnelly is an UN aid worker and is burnt out and returning to NY has not helped him feel like his old self. For him, it is a daily struggle to survive in the “darkness”. He is filled with despair and he believes the darkness helps him get through his everyday life. A darkness that was created by years of felling helpless while witnessing the horrors others endured. Cam runs into a journalist that he met in Nigeria, Tyler Ang. At first sight, Ty knows Cam is struggling, and he tries to convince Cam to get help. Cam thinks he can handle things on his own, but the spiral down continues.
Tyler Ang has been working hard to try become an international journalist. Now with work giving him problems and the sudden appearance of Cam back into his life, Ty is confused about why he is drawn to Cam. He also has a heartbreaking past that makes his heart closed for business.
This story is unique, and completely different from anything I have ever read. Yes, it is high on the angst-o-meter, but it truly makes you think about the brave men and women who sacrifice everything to help others in devastated countries and what they deal with on an everyday basis just to survive. You can tell the author definitely did her homework to give such a realistic view. I did, however, have a slight niggle with the main characters. I never really felt their connection until very late in the story. Near the end of the book, the story was focused more on Cam and we lose Ty’s voice completely. I wanted to know how he was dealing with everything. Although Ty’s past was mentioned, I felt it was skipped over and not really discussed in depth.
I highly recommend this book. I wouldn’t consider it a dark read, but more of a realistic story that will make your heart hurt.
I received an ARC of this book via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review
5/4-Full review now posted.
3.50 stars
Hudson Lin, author of Inside Darknessis a new to me author, but I will certainly keep an eye out for her books in the future.
Cameron Donnelly is an UN aid worker and is burnt out and returning to NY has not helped him feel like his old self. For him, it is a daily struggle to survive in the “darkness”. He is filled with despair and he believes the darkness helps him get through his everyday life. A darkness that was created by years of felling helpless while witnessing the horrors others endured. Cam runs into a journalist that he met in Nigeria, Tyler Ang. At first sight, Ty knows Cam is struggling, and he tries to convince Cam to get help. Cam thinks he can handle things on his own, but the spiral down continues.
Tyler Ang has been working hard to try become an international journalist. Now with work giving him problems and the sudden appearance of Cam back into his life, Ty is confused about why he is drawn to Cam. He also has a heartbreaking past that makes his heart closed for business.
This story is unique, and completely different from anything I have ever read. Yes, it is high on the angst-o-meter, but it truly makes you think about the brave men and women who sacrifice everything to help others in devastated countries and what they deal with on an everyday basis just to survive. You can tell the author definitely did her homework to give such a realistic view. I did, however, have a slight niggle with the main characters. I never really felt their connection until very late in the story. Near the end of the book, the story was focused more on Cam and we lose Ty’s voice completely. I wanted to know how he was dealing with everything. Although Ty’s past was mentioned, I felt it was skipped over and not really discussed in depth.
I highly recommend this book. I wouldn’t consider it a dark read, but more of a realistic story that will make your heart hurt.
I received an ARC of this book via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review
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May 6, 2018DNF 40% - no rating
The writing style wasn't catching me - too repetitive and too much telling - but I just can't with the slut shaming. Such a turn off, plus very hypocritical coming from the host of a sex party. If it had just been that one instance I might have forgiven it, but then to be hit again with it from Cam's sister - who really needed to mind her own business - and then Ty starting to feel self conscious about it, I was done.
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ARC of Inside Darkness was generously provided in exchange for an honest review.
The writing style wasn't catching me - too repetitive and too much telling - but I just can't with the slut shaming. Such a turn off, plus very hypocritical coming from the host of a sex party. If it had just been that one instance I might have forgiven it, but then to be hit again with it from Cam's sister - who really needed to mind her own business - and then Ty starting to feel self conscious about it, I was done.
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ARC of Inside Darkness was generously provided in exchange for an honest review.
July 7, 2018
This felt awful real and that’s a compliment!
Cam works as an aid worker in Kenya when he meets the gorgeous journalist Ty.
Cam is grumpy and hostile toward Ty but their is also physical attraction and tension.
Ty returns home and after some time Cam makes the decision to go home too.
When they collide again there is the a bunch of attraction. Only Cam has PTSD and he doesn’t need help.... he just glides away in his own space. He only gets out to smoke and drink himself into his space again. He is in denial of his depression.
The moments both men are together there is growing something and both are not ready.
Ty his past isn’t one of many good moments and somehow what he has with Cam, it all trickers him and he has to deal with his past.
Their path is hard.... so hard I thought maybe it will never be okay everrr...
Excellent written story. I was very impressed... the harsh reality was painful, thank goodness there was some light at the end of the tunnel.
Their characters and backgrounds were very well put down... it was an emotional and awful raw story a good developed one and the environments were difficult but real put down.
All together... a great job is done with this story!
Kindly received an arc from the publisher
Cam works as an aid worker in Kenya when he meets the gorgeous journalist Ty.
Cam is grumpy and hostile toward Ty but their is also physical attraction and tension.
Ty returns home and after some time Cam makes the decision to go home too.
When they collide again there is the a bunch of attraction. Only Cam has PTSD and he doesn’t need help.... he just glides away in his own space. He only gets out to smoke and drink himself into his space again. He is in denial of his depression.
The moments both men are together there is growing something and both are not ready.
Ty his past isn’t one of many good moments and somehow what he has with Cam, it all trickers him and he has to deal with his past.
Their path is hard.... so hard I thought maybe it will never be okay everrr...
Excellent written story. I was very impressed... the harsh reality was painful, thank goodness there was some light at the end of the tunnel.
Their characters and backgrounds were very well put down... it was an emotional and awful raw story a good developed one and the environments were difficult but real put down.
All together... a great job is done with this story!
Kindly received an arc from the publisher
July 4, 2018
There were some really good themes in this book, and there were some things that weren't so good.
Let's talk about the good stuff first.
The author does a fine job exploring the impact and effects of PTSD that Cameron experiences, and how it shapes his interactions with the world around him, even when (and perhaps especially when) the traumatic events leading to the PTSD have passed. The darkness to which Cameron escapes is a place of safety to which he retreats when he's under extreme pressure or fear. An international aid worker for many years, Cameron has seen more than his fair share of human suffering, violence, and death, and there's not much left of the idealistic, out and proud gay man he was 10 years or so ago, the one who wanted to help others and jumped into aid work with both feet. Being gay is a crime in many African countries still, and Cameron knows only too well what might happen to someone who's found out to be gay. He has hidden that part of himself behind a cynical and gruff exterior because it's safer that way.
Tyler is very much an opposite to Cameron. Somewhat self-centered and career oriented, he struggles with his ethnicity (born in America of Chinese heritage) and having clawed his way to success out of growing up in foster care. He's extremely sensitive to perceived slights, and he's unhappy at his job because he feels that he's being marginalized for his race and heritage, and not given any real assignments other than covering the happenings in Chinatown. At first, I didn't like Tyler very much. He was angry, perhaps understandably so, but also standoffish. He grew on me, especially as the author peeled back the layers of his personality, and Tyler became Cam's main support system.
While sex happens early, intimacy and romance does not, and the slow burn inside needed to be, since Cameron's PTSD makes for a difficult companion, and Tyler doesn't initially know how to help the other man, helplessly watching Cam sink deeper and deeper into the darkness.
Love, as it happens between them, happens slowly, almost as a side product of their struggles to overcome the obstacles in their respective lives.
It is only when they are separated again, by choice to some extent, that both men realize how much they need the other, just when it's nearly too late. The darkness threatens to swallow Cameron whole, and there's no Tyler to pull him back when he needs it the most. The climax of this book did have me at the edge of my seat, even if the ending felt a bit rushed.
Now for the not so good. This was my first book by this author, and the writing style didn't really work for me. It was oftentimes more tell than show, which is a shame, really, because the story itself was well done. But show me what makes your characters tick - don't tell me.
There was also some slut-shaming inside, which I thought a bit odd, and while I don't know much about UN Aid workers and how things are run there, I was left to wonder if someone diagnosed with severe PTSD, under the supervision of a therapist, would then be sent back to another hellhole with the expectation of performing the job as if the PTSD didn't exist.
This is a heavy, angsty read, and not the kind of book you take with you for a sunny day on the beach. There's a lot of darkness inside, and both Cameron and Tyler have to fight their way into the light.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this book. If you like romances that are slow to develop, with a lot of angst, this might be a book for you.
** I received a free copy of this book from its publisher via Netgalley. A positive review was not promised in return. **
Let's talk about the good stuff first.
The author does a fine job exploring the impact and effects of PTSD that Cameron experiences, and how it shapes his interactions with the world around him, even when (and perhaps especially when) the traumatic events leading to the PTSD have passed. The darkness to which Cameron escapes is a place of safety to which he retreats when he's under extreme pressure or fear. An international aid worker for many years, Cameron has seen more than his fair share of human suffering, violence, and death, and there's not much left of the idealistic, out and proud gay man he was 10 years or so ago, the one who wanted to help others and jumped into aid work with both feet. Being gay is a crime in many African countries still, and Cameron knows only too well what might happen to someone who's found out to be gay. He has hidden that part of himself behind a cynical and gruff exterior because it's safer that way.
Tyler is very much an opposite to Cameron. Somewhat self-centered and career oriented, he struggles with his ethnicity (born in America of Chinese heritage) and having clawed his way to success out of growing up in foster care. He's extremely sensitive to perceived slights, and he's unhappy at his job because he feels that he's being marginalized for his race and heritage, and not given any real assignments other than covering the happenings in Chinatown. At first, I didn't like Tyler very much. He was angry, perhaps understandably so, but also standoffish. He grew on me, especially as the author peeled back the layers of his personality, and Tyler became Cam's main support system.
While sex happens early, intimacy and romance does not, and the slow burn inside needed to be, since Cameron's PTSD makes for a difficult companion, and Tyler doesn't initially know how to help the other man, helplessly watching Cam sink deeper and deeper into the darkness.
Love, as it happens between them, happens slowly, almost as a side product of their struggles to overcome the obstacles in their respective lives.
It is only when they are separated again, by choice to some extent, that both men realize how much they need the other, just when it's nearly too late. The darkness threatens to swallow Cameron whole, and there's no Tyler to pull him back when he needs it the most. The climax of this book did have me at the edge of my seat, even if the ending felt a bit rushed.
Now for the not so good. This was my first book by this author, and the writing style didn't really work for me. It was oftentimes more tell than show, which is a shame, really, because the story itself was well done. But show me what makes your characters tick - don't tell me.
There was also some slut-shaming inside, which I thought a bit odd, and while I don't know much about UN Aid workers and how things are run there, I was left to wonder if someone diagnosed with severe PTSD, under the supervision of a therapist, would then be sent back to another hellhole with the expectation of performing the job as if the PTSD didn't exist.
This is a heavy, angsty read, and not the kind of book you take with you for a sunny day on the beach. There's a lot of darkness inside, and both Cameron and Tyler have to fight their way into the light.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this book. If you like romances that are slow to develop, with a lot of angst, this might be a book for you.
** I received a free copy of this book from its publisher via Netgalley. A positive review was not promised in return. **
May 24, 2018
I was captivated by this story. Strangely, and almost against my will, reeled in.
There are two MCs and two main struggles in this story. Cam, a UN field aid worker, suffers from untreated and escalating PTSD. Ty is an American of Chinese heritage. Orphaned at a young age and raised in the American foster care system. He has made a life as a journalist relying on no one but himself. His struggle against race typing and discrimination is tangible.
These two meet when Ty travels to Cam's aid outpost and refugee camp. Their first meeting is explosive but not in a good way. Although the attraction is there, Cam's illness gets in the way of making any kind of connection possible.
At the end of his rope, Cam requests transfer back to the states. Fate intervenes to bring these two together time after time so that they can't possibly ignore each other. Ty reluctantly assumes the role of support for a quickly degenerating Cam.
I would have liked to see the role reversed somewhat so that Cam also supported Ty in his unending struggle to overcome the color of his skin. Instead, Ty dealt with this entirely on his own. Eventually facing a decision strongly affecting his future. It's true that people come to a crossroad a few times in their life. They have to choose the path that best seems right at the time. However, the romantic reader in me always wants the whole, undiluted HEA.
This story was more about compromises. About getting through day by day. Reaching out for help but not finding a miracle cure, only a long hard road filled with potholes. There is no great romance here. Just two men who slowly fall in love in spite of the obstacles they have to overcome in their lives. I think the beauty is in how they learn to accept each other for who they are.
At times I felt like it was more one sided with Ty supporting Cam more and more. I couldn't really understand why Ty would devote so much of his life to help someone who he barely knew. I thought Cam's family should have been more involved in his mental illness. His sister was present but his parents were very much in the background. I'm not entirely sure what role Cam's childhood friend, Cary, played in the plot. Both Cary and Cam's sister did some ugly slut shaming early in the story. I hated to read that. It made me feel icky and ultimately it didn't have any bearing on the story so it could have been easily left out. There was another icky-feeling inducing scene with Cam's parents. His mother came across as rudely, cruelly, ignorant with regards to Ty's heritage. I literally wanted to jump into my Kindle and slap her. Then slap all the people around her for not forcefully calling her out on it.
So, those are all my random thoughts about this book. The story was engrossing. I wanted to keep reading. There were a few things that bothered me, but I think it felt so real that I excused them as part of life. I was definitely more sympathetic to Ty than Cam. It's funny, but I'm sitting here at the end of the story wanting to wish them the best as if they were a real couple.
3.5 stars
Review ARC graciously provided by the publisher via NetGalley
There are two MCs and two main struggles in this story. Cam, a UN field aid worker, suffers from untreated and escalating PTSD. Ty is an American of Chinese heritage. Orphaned at a young age and raised in the American foster care system. He has made a life as a journalist relying on no one but himself. His struggle against race typing and discrimination is tangible.
These two meet when Ty travels to Cam's aid outpost and refugee camp. Their first meeting is explosive but not in a good way. Although the attraction is there, Cam's illness gets in the way of making any kind of connection possible.
At the end of his rope, Cam requests transfer back to the states. Fate intervenes to bring these two together time after time so that they can't possibly ignore each other. Ty reluctantly assumes the role of support for a quickly degenerating Cam.
I would have liked to see the role reversed somewhat so that Cam also supported Ty in his unending struggle to overcome the color of his skin. Instead, Ty dealt with this entirely on his own. Eventually facing a decision strongly affecting his future. It's true that people come to a crossroad a few times in their life. They have to choose the path that best seems right at the time. However, the romantic reader in me always wants the whole, undiluted HEA.
This story was more about compromises. About getting through day by day. Reaching out for help but not finding a miracle cure, only a long hard road filled with potholes. There is no great romance here. Just two men who slowly fall in love in spite of the obstacles they have to overcome in their lives. I think the beauty is in how they learn to accept each other for who they are.
At times I felt like it was more one sided with Ty supporting Cam more and more. I couldn't really understand why Ty would devote so much of his life to help someone who he barely knew. I thought Cam's family should have been more involved in his mental illness. His sister was present but his parents were very much in the background. I'm not entirely sure what role Cam's childhood friend, Cary, played in the plot. Both Cary and Cam's sister did some ugly slut shaming early in the story. I hated to read that. It made me feel icky and ultimately it didn't have any bearing on the story so it could have been easily left out. There was another icky-feeling inducing scene with Cam's parents. His mother came across as rudely, cruelly, ignorant with regards to Ty's heritage. I literally wanted to jump into my Kindle and slap her. Then slap all the people around her for not forcefully calling her out on it.
So, those are all my random thoughts about this book. The story was engrossing. I wanted to keep reading. There were a few things that bothered me, but I think it felt so real that I excused them as part of life. I was definitely more sympathetic to Ty than Cam. It's funny, but I'm sitting here at the end of the story wanting to wish them the best as if they were a real couple.
3.5 stars
Review ARC graciously provided by the publisher via NetGalley
June 9, 2018
This was one of those books that catches your eye due to the cover or the blurb but you don't know the author and you have no idea what to expect. You kind of roll the dice and say a book hail mary and hope it turns out ok. This turned out better than ok for me. I really liked this book and I'm super glad I took a chance on it.
It starts in a country in Africa where Cameron works as an aide worker. He's been doing this high stress job for ten years and he's burnt out. He's exhausted and suffering from PTSD. He meets Tyler, a journalist sent to cover their work, right before he's leaving to come back to the US. Cam has very mixed feelings for Tyler but fate keeps throwing them together. They begin a tentative relationship when they get back to NYC.
I love books that have atypical MC's and these guys were great. They were both so flawed but also so real. They struggle and they make some mistakes but in the end you see how much they love each other. Their route to a hea is not an easy one and this book is a bit gritty. Cam has some serious issues to work through and his PTSD is a very real part of his life. The author chooses to keep his struggle realistic instead of having him magically healed by the love of a good man like we so often see in romance books.
The only part I disliked was a very small exchange where a friend of Cam's slut shames Tyler. It super annoyed me for some reason. (especially cuz the friend throws swinger parties) I saw another reviewer mention it too so it's not just me it stood out to. I wish the author would not have gone there but other than that one spot I didn't have any complaints.
If you want something outside the norm and you're ok with gritty books I highly recommend this. It was one of the better and more unique books I've read this year.
**ARC provided by publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest reviews**
It starts in a country in Africa where Cameron works as an aide worker. He's been doing this high stress job for ten years and he's burnt out. He's exhausted and suffering from PTSD. He meets Tyler, a journalist sent to cover their work, right before he's leaving to come back to the US. Cam has very mixed feelings for Tyler but fate keeps throwing them together. They begin a tentative relationship when they get back to NYC.
I love books that have atypical MC's and these guys were great. They were both so flawed but also so real. They struggle and they make some mistakes but in the end you see how much they love each other. Their route to a hea is not an easy one and this book is a bit gritty. Cam has some serious issues to work through and his PTSD is a very real part of his life. The author chooses to keep his struggle realistic instead of having him magically healed by the love of a good man like we so often see in romance books.
The only part I disliked was a very small exchange where a friend of Cam's slut shames Tyler. It super annoyed me for some reason. (especially cuz the friend throws swinger parties) I saw another reviewer mention it too so it's not just me it stood out to. I wish the author would not have gone there but other than that one spot I didn't have any complaints.
If you want something outside the norm and you're ok with gritty books I highly recommend this. It was one of the better and more unique books I've read this year.
**ARC provided by publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest reviews**
December 14, 2018
I'm at that stage of book slump where I can't even be bothered to write a review anymore tbh
somebody save this bitch from this endless darkness
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June 12, 2018
This book was provided for free by the publisher and Love Bytes in exchange for an honest review.
This review was first posted to Love Bytes: LGBTQ Book Reviews. It has been slightly edited here for content.
I’m not a smoker, but damn, this book makes me want to light up—and not just because one of the main characters has a pretty steep nicotine addiction. This is one hell of a depressing book. Darkness, as stated in the title, is a very present theme—in fact, the word comes up on just about every page. I don’t mind grim storytelling, but even after a gritty story and some steamy love scenes, all I got out of this particular tale was gloom.
When harrowed aid worker Cam meets preppy journalist Ty for the first time, he’s battling some pretty heavy demons, and he finds comfort in the cute, optimistic new guy who awakens all those long-repressed feelings inside of him. It seems like a fairly dramatic but plausible romantic set-up. Unfortunately, everything after that makes it seem like Cam and Ty don’t even like each other! They get together and have hot sex (and it’s very well-written), but they end up screaming, arguing, and insulting each other. They don’t flirt, play, joke, or tease. They don’t seem to share their interests or goals. And the main issue is with Cam.
I strongly disliked Cam as a character. Sometimes, disliking a character is okay—just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean I have to dislike reading about them or their story. But in this case, Cam just sucked any energy, sense of humor, or passion out of every page. His relationship with Ty is completely unbalanced—Ty gives, and Cam takes. Cam is violent, unstable, rude, and cagey, and Ty just sort of learns to live with it. Cam is never shown any consequences for his actions or told that he cannot hurt people just because he is hurting. He’s allowed to be pretty much an asshole from start to finish. And I must say—Cam seems to have the most useless therapist in the world, because she pretty much just enables him at every turn.
All of this just makes me feel bad for Ty, because Ty is a pretty decent character. He’s lived a difficult and often lonely life, so a journalism career that allows him to meet new people and see new places is just what he desires. And I understand why he was drawn to Cam—Cam is intense, raw, and intelligent despite his many flaws. But the conclusion to their relationship feels much more suited to the halfway point of their story.
By the end of the book, we’re led to believe Cam and Ty get their HEA…but neither of them seem happy in the slightest. I can’t recommend the book on these grounds alone, but if you’re a real glutton for punishment and love to read about banged-up boys making each other really sad and angry, this one might be for you. Hudson Lin is a very capable author who paints a vivid picture, but this one just doesn’t knock it out the park for me.
This review was first posted to Love Bytes: LGBTQ Book Reviews. It has been slightly edited here for content.
I’m not a smoker, but damn, this book makes me want to light up—and not just because one of the main characters has a pretty steep nicotine addiction. This is one hell of a depressing book. Darkness, as stated in the title, is a very present theme—in fact, the word comes up on just about every page. I don’t mind grim storytelling, but even after a gritty story and some steamy love scenes, all I got out of this particular tale was gloom.
When harrowed aid worker Cam meets preppy journalist Ty for the first time, he’s battling some pretty heavy demons, and he finds comfort in the cute, optimistic new guy who awakens all those long-repressed feelings inside of him. It seems like a fairly dramatic but plausible romantic set-up. Unfortunately, everything after that makes it seem like Cam and Ty don’t even like each other! They get together and have hot sex (and it’s very well-written), but they end up screaming, arguing, and insulting each other. They don’t flirt, play, joke, or tease. They don’t seem to share their interests or goals. And the main issue is with Cam.
I strongly disliked Cam as a character. Sometimes, disliking a character is okay—just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean I have to dislike reading about them or their story. But in this case, Cam just sucked any energy, sense of humor, or passion out of every page. His relationship with Ty is completely unbalanced—Ty gives, and Cam takes. Cam is violent, unstable, rude, and cagey, and Ty just sort of learns to live with it. Cam is never shown any consequences for his actions or told that he cannot hurt people just because he is hurting. He’s allowed to be pretty much an asshole from start to finish. And I must say—Cam seems to have the most useless therapist in the world, because she pretty much just enables him at every turn.
All of this just makes me feel bad for Ty, because Ty is a pretty decent character. He’s lived a difficult and often lonely life, so a journalism career that allows him to meet new people and see new places is just what he desires. And I understand why he was drawn to Cam—Cam is intense, raw, and intelligent despite his many flaws. But the conclusion to their relationship feels much more suited to the halfway point of their story.
By the end of the book, we’re led to believe Cam and Ty get their HEA…but neither of them seem happy in the slightest. I can’t recommend the book on these grounds alone, but if you’re a real glutton for punishment and love to read about banged-up boys making each other really sad and angry, this one might be for you. Hudson Lin is a very capable author who paints a vivid picture, but this one just doesn’t knock it out the park for me.
June 4, 2018
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.75 stars
Inside Darkness was an excellent exploration of PTSD and the effects it can have on an individual (and their family) long after the actual traumatic event has passed. The book mentions that 30% of aide workers suffer from PTSD and it’s a statistic that doesn’t get much attention. In Cameron, we see a man who has dedicated himself to helping others. But in doing so, he’s seen violence, death, and human suffering on a near daily basis. The author has done an excellent job of portraying his despair, which goes well beyond world weariness and evolves into self-destructive desolation. We feel a certain measure of sympathy for Cam, but never pity, which would have been easy writing choice to make. Tyler is a little harder to read, but his need to move beyond cultural stereotypes and be recognized as a journalist independent of his skin color is rendered very well. The author tackles this issue with the perfect amount of outrage and individualism that makes Tyler enjoyable as a character.
The only the thing that Inside Darkness suffers from is a bit of drag. The story has a consistent even flow, but about half way through, it seems to lose some momentum. It’s only noticeable because the rest of Inside Darkness moves so smoothly. It’s a tad jarring, but it doesn’t last long and doesn’t detract from the wider story. I think part of this issue comes down to some of Cam’s family interactions, which just felt somewhat wedged into the story.
Read Sue’s review in its entirety here.
4.75 stars
Inside Darkness was an excellent exploration of PTSD and the effects it can have on an individual (and their family) long after the actual traumatic event has passed. The book mentions that 30% of aide workers suffer from PTSD and it’s a statistic that doesn’t get much attention. In Cameron, we see a man who has dedicated himself to helping others. But in doing so, he’s seen violence, death, and human suffering on a near daily basis. The author has done an excellent job of portraying his despair, which goes well beyond world weariness and evolves into self-destructive desolation. We feel a certain measure of sympathy for Cam, but never pity, which would have been easy writing choice to make. Tyler is a little harder to read, but his need to move beyond cultural stereotypes and be recognized as a journalist independent of his skin color is rendered very well. The author tackles this issue with the perfect amount of outrage and individualism that makes Tyler enjoyable as a character.
The only the thing that Inside Darkness suffers from is a bit of drag. The story has a consistent even flow, but about half way through, it seems to lose some momentum. It’s only noticeable because the rest of Inside Darkness moves so smoothly. It’s a tad jarring, but it doesn’t last long and doesn’t detract from the wider story. I think part of this issue comes down to some of Cam’s family interactions, which just felt somewhat wedged into the story.
Read Sue’s review in its entirety here.
July 22, 2019
I went into Hudson Lin's Inside Darkness without knowing anything about the author and being attracted instead by the atmospheric and brooding cover, and I must say that it was a nice discovery.
Cameron Donnelly is a 'lifer' on the field of UN humanitarian missions and he's started to be plagued by crippling nightmares and a serious case of post-traumatic stress disorder that he seems to be able to escape only by retreating in what he calls his 'darkness', a place inside himself where the world cannot reach him with its expectations and responsibilities.
Tyler Ang is a successful journalist who's trying to shake off the heavy burden of his upbringing and ethnicity (often used by people to put him into a series of racial stereotypes and prejudices) and to make his way into a more prestigious job as a foreign correspondent for an important TV channel.
After meeting in a refugee camp in Nigeria, Cam and Ty meet again in New York and the novel follows their tentative relationship as they each try to face their own demons.
What I really liked about this novel was the honesty and rawness with which the author describes Cam's shaky mental state and Ty's reluctance in admitting the growing importance of that fragile and yet belligerent aid worker in his controlled life.
Trust, friendship and love are no magic keys to solve deeply-ingrained traumas and the sense of honesty permeating the novel was a definite plus.
I must admit, however, that I was slightly less impressed by some technical aspects - the main two characters are both nicely developed (although I'd say that Cam is more solid and convincing than Ty in terms of motivations and psychological profile). Some of the secondary characters, though, were more stereotypical and flat. Cary and Cam's mother, for instance, struck me as being in need of further development. Cary seems rather pointlessly nasty and Wendy goes from being welcoming and warm to insensitive and dumb in the space of a few lines.
The writing is rather straightforward and at times some expressions and images were a bit repetitive and over-used. There were also, however, a number of genuinely emotional moments - the few glimpses into Ty's past, for instance, are always moving and so are the more tentative moments between him and Cam.
Overall, I've found Inside darkness an engaging read, honest in its treatment of very sensitive issues and with two MCs worth spending some time with.
A good 3.5-star rating.
Cameron Donnelly is a 'lifer' on the field of UN humanitarian missions and he's started to be plagued by crippling nightmares and a serious case of post-traumatic stress disorder that he seems to be able to escape only by retreating in what he calls his 'darkness', a place inside himself where the world cannot reach him with its expectations and responsibilities.
Tyler Ang is a successful journalist who's trying to shake off the heavy burden of his upbringing and ethnicity (often used by people to put him into a series of racial stereotypes and prejudices) and to make his way into a more prestigious job as a foreign correspondent for an important TV channel.
After meeting in a refugee camp in Nigeria, Cam and Ty meet again in New York and the novel follows their tentative relationship as they each try to face their own demons.
What I really liked about this novel was the honesty and rawness with which the author describes Cam's shaky mental state and Ty's reluctance in admitting the growing importance of that fragile and yet belligerent aid worker in his controlled life.
Trust, friendship and love are no magic keys to solve deeply-ingrained traumas and the sense of honesty permeating the novel was a definite plus.
I must admit, however, that I was slightly less impressed by some technical aspects - the main two characters are both nicely developed (although I'd say that Cam is more solid and convincing than Ty in terms of motivations and psychological profile). Some of the secondary characters, though, were more stereotypical and flat. Cary and Cam's mother, for instance, struck me as being in need of further development. Cary seems rather pointlessly nasty and Wendy goes from being welcoming and warm to insensitive and dumb in the space of a few lines.
The writing is rather straightforward and at times some expressions and images were a bit repetitive and over-used. There were also, however, a number of genuinely emotional moments - the few glimpses into Ty's past, for instance, are always moving and so are the more tentative moments between him and Cam.
Overall, I've found Inside darkness an engaging read, honest in its treatment of very sensitive issues and with two MCs worth spending some time with.
A good 3.5-star rating.
June 14, 2018
That was intense. But it went remarkably quickly.
January 20, 2024
It didn't make much sense.
Don't know why they fell in love nor
stayed that way. Sketched in.
Don't know why they fell in love nor
stayed that way. Sketched in.
June 13, 2018
4.5 stars- Raw and emotional story that held me captive cover to cover
I’ve recently had a good run of books whose covers caught my eye and blurbs capture my attention ending up being fantastic reads. Inside Darkness marks another title to add to that list. My first book by this author, I was immediately drawn into this hurt-comfort romance which starts in a refugee camp located in Kenya. Not only were the characters likable with interesting backstories, but the premise was so different that I couldn’t help but be swept away and found it exceedingly hard to put Inside Darkness down for any length of time.
There was a lot that completely captivated me about Inside Darkness. The pacing of the book was brisk enough to keep things moving without ever rushing the plot or relationship between Tyler and Cameron. I also really appreciated the raw details the author included about field aid work as well as its toll on “lifers” like Cameron. As for the romance, this was more of a slow-burner, which worked well given how the characters meet, their professional lives, and their current circumstances. What I loved about that approach was their chemistry wasn’t only fueled by that intense draw between Ty and Cam, but it also provided plenty of time to grow and cultivate love and a bond as they spent more time together. Simply put, the story and romance was not easy by any means, but it was believable.
I read a lot of hurt-comfort romances and a fair amount of books that also deal in PTSD, and I found Inside Darkness to be one of the better ones- both in its brutal honesty of what Cam and his loved ones deal with, and also in the way the author never lost sight of the character or relationship development. I’ll definitely be reading more from Miss Lin and would recommend Inside Darkness to any fans of hurt-comfort stories.
*eARC received via Netgalley. The author and publisher had no influence over this review*
I’ve recently had a good run of books whose covers caught my eye and blurbs capture my attention ending up being fantastic reads. Inside Darkness marks another title to add to that list. My first book by this author, I was immediately drawn into this hurt-comfort romance which starts in a refugee camp located in Kenya. Not only were the characters likable with interesting backstories, but the premise was so different that I couldn’t help but be swept away and found it exceedingly hard to put Inside Darkness down for any length of time.
There was a lot that completely captivated me about Inside Darkness. The pacing of the book was brisk enough to keep things moving without ever rushing the plot or relationship between Tyler and Cameron. I also really appreciated the raw details the author included about field aid work as well as its toll on “lifers” like Cameron. As for the romance, this was more of a slow-burner, which worked well given how the characters meet, their professional lives, and their current circumstances. What I loved about that approach was their chemistry wasn’t only fueled by that intense draw between Ty and Cam, but it also provided plenty of time to grow and cultivate love and a bond as they spent more time together. Simply put, the story and romance was not easy by any means, but it was believable.
I read a lot of hurt-comfort romances and a fair amount of books that also deal in PTSD, and I found Inside Darkness to be one of the better ones- both in its brutal honesty of what Cam and his loved ones deal with, and also in the way the author never lost sight of the character or relationship development. I’ll definitely be reading more from Miss Lin and would recommend Inside Darkness to any fans of hurt-comfort stories.
*eARC received via Netgalley. The author and publisher had no influence over this review*
June 11, 2018
4 Stars
This book sounded so fabulous, and broken characters are one of my favorites tropes, but once I opened the book up and started reading, I wasn’t so sure if maybe Cam wasn’t too broken to be put back together. He was a complete and utter twat at times, well, throughout most of the story, to be honest, but my heart broke for him and all he’d been through. I can’t imagine going to a foreign country to try to aid and assist the residents there and having to walk around with armed guards so you aren’t attacked, or worse, murdered. The things Cam has seen over the years has left him one very damaged man.
I also wasn’t too sure about Tyler at first, but he quickly won my heart. As much as he wasn’t looking for a relationship there was something about Cam that drew him in and wouldn’t let go. I loved that he was caring and nurturing, but I especially loved that when it really counted, he was there for Cam and wouldn’t let Cam push him away.
These two men together, complimented one another well, their chemistry was off the charts and they sizzled together, both in and out of bed. The story is well-written and l has a satisfying ending.
I loved that the author dealt with Cam’s issues realistically and that even once he and Ty had a solid relationship, Cam still struggled and they still had to work everyday to make their relationship work.
This was an enjoyable read, an emotional hurt/comfort story that definitely delivers all the feels. Definitely recommendable!
*** Copy provided to me via NetGalley for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. ***
This book sounded so fabulous, and broken characters are one of my favorites tropes, but once I opened the book up and started reading, I wasn’t so sure if maybe Cam wasn’t too broken to be put back together. He was a complete and utter twat at times, well, throughout most of the story, to be honest, but my heart broke for him and all he’d been through. I can’t imagine going to a foreign country to try to aid and assist the residents there and having to walk around with armed guards so you aren’t attacked, or worse, murdered. The things Cam has seen over the years has left him one very damaged man.
I also wasn’t too sure about Tyler at first, but he quickly won my heart. As much as he wasn’t looking for a relationship there was something about Cam that drew him in and wouldn’t let go. I loved that he was caring and nurturing, but I especially loved that when it really counted, he was there for Cam and wouldn’t let Cam push him away.
These two men together, complimented one another well, their chemistry was off the charts and they sizzled together, both in and out of bed. The story is well-written and l has a satisfying ending.
I loved that the author dealt with Cam’s issues realistically and that even once he and Ty had a solid relationship, Cam still struggled and they still had to work everyday to make their relationship work.
This was an enjoyable read, an emotional hurt/comfort story that definitely delivers all the feels. Definitely recommendable!
*** Copy provided to me via NetGalley for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. ***
March 30, 2018
Arc reviewed for Netgalley
(minor spoilers – to avoid them, skip paragraph four)
Cameron’s situation is tragic. He has given years of his life to help others while hiding his true self behind a wall of fear that leaves him trapped within his “darkness,” which is actually PTSD manifesting as a means of hiding himself away from the world and not dealing with his issues. Turning to alcohol and booty calls only quicken his downward spiral. Tyler is a journalist on the rise, isolated by his foster care upbringing and settling for hook-ups and a slut reputation until he meets Cameron while on assignment.
This story almost lost me on page 14 when I read: “and he had yet to pull his long wavy hair back into his man bun.” A man-bun? Ugh, that’s enough to stop me from reading further right there. In my mind, I am reaching for clippers and snip, snip, snipping that stupid bun off to the ground where it belongs.
Horrible man-‘dos aside, I liked Inside Darkness, but thought it needed a little more filling out to make it a really good read. I wish we had known what caused Cameron’s trauma a little earlier on. It would have made a more compelling reason for his darkness and would have established empathy and understanding much earlier in the story. I found myself wanting stronger descriptions of his darkness and what it really felt like and what he was feeling in those moments. I found it hard to like him because he seemed a little too generalized to me. I never quite bought the relationship between Cameron and Tyler. There just did not seem to be enough between them to be a couple. More detail, more character building would have helped.
Minor SPOILERS in this paragraph:
There were a few scenes that really didn’t make sense to me. Cameron tells his therapist that he does not want to be sent into the field again, yet without any explanation or further examination, in the next chapter Cam is definitely going back into the field. I really don’t think that is realistic, and I don’t think his employer, knowing the frail mental condition he was in, would have allowed it. That was out of my realm of believability. And then after the accident, I am supposed to believe that Izzie never thought to call Tyler and tell him? I didn’t buy that for one minute and thought it was ridiculous. Izzie is a bit of a melodramatic ditz, but no way would she not have called Tyler in that situation.
And that’s it for vague spoilers.
I did like that, for once, a character with PTSD was not a soldier. I never thought of aid workers suffering from PTSD. It was an original and refreshing perspective and brought attention to the dangerous conditions that aid workers face. Overall, I enjoyed the story, but I thought it needed more detail and some tweaking to make it a much stronger story.
(minor spoilers – to avoid them, skip paragraph four)
Cameron’s situation is tragic. He has given years of his life to help others while hiding his true self behind a wall of fear that leaves him trapped within his “darkness,” which is actually PTSD manifesting as a means of hiding himself away from the world and not dealing with his issues. Turning to alcohol and booty calls only quicken his downward spiral. Tyler is a journalist on the rise, isolated by his foster care upbringing and settling for hook-ups and a slut reputation until he meets Cameron while on assignment.
This story almost lost me on page 14 when I read: “and he had yet to pull his long wavy hair back into his man bun.” A man-bun? Ugh, that’s enough to stop me from reading further right there. In my mind, I am reaching for clippers and snip, snip, snipping that stupid bun off to the ground where it belongs.
Horrible man-‘dos aside, I liked Inside Darkness, but thought it needed a little more filling out to make it a really good read. I wish we had known what caused Cameron’s trauma a little earlier on. It would have made a more compelling reason for his darkness and would have established empathy and understanding much earlier in the story. I found myself wanting stronger descriptions of his darkness and what it really felt like and what he was feeling in those moments. I found it hard to like him because he seemed a little too generalized to me. I never quite bought the relationship between Cameron and Tyler. There just did not seem to be enough between them to be a couple. More detail, more character building would have helped.
Minor SPOILERS in this paragraph:
There were a few scenes that really didn’t make sense to me. Cameron tells his therapist that he does not want to be sent into the field again, yet without any explanation or further examination, in the next chapter Cam is definitely going back into the field. I really don’t think that is realistic, and I don’t think his employer, knowing the frail mental condition he was in, would have allowed it. That was out of my realm of believability. And then after the accident, I am supposed to believe that Izzie never thought to call Tyler and tell him? I didn’t buy that for one minute and thought it was ridiculous. Izzie is a bit of a melodramatic ditz, but no way would she not have called Tyler in that situation.
And that’s it for vague spoilers.
I did like that, for once, a character with PTSD was not a soldier. I never thought of aid workers suffering from PTSD. It was an original and refreshing perspective and brought attention to the dangerous conditions that aid workers face. Overall, I enjoyed the story, but I thought it needed more detail and some tweaking to make it a much stronger story.
April 3, 2018
Copy from NetGalley.
I'm not even sure how to put into words what I thought of this book. It has me all mixed up.
Okay, so let's start with I REALLY enjoyed it. It was a slow burn that just made me want to scream at both men. But the slow burn was needed. It would have completely ruined the story if everything had happened quickly. The chemistry between the men was *sigh* ...even if against I wanted to scream at them both and tell them to get their heads out of their arses!
Anyway...the story was in-depth but not too deep to be boring. It kept me interested the whole time and I just needed to find out what was going to happen between these two men. Would distance make them realise what they meant to each other? Read and find out!
I'm not even sure how to put into words what I thought of this book. It has me all mixed up.
Okay, so let's start with I REALLY enjoyed it. It was a slow burn that just made me want to scream at both men. But the slow burn was needed. It would have completely ruined the story if everything had happened quickly. The chemistry between the men was *sigh* ...even if against I wanted to scream at them both and tell them to get their heads out of their arses!
Anyway...the story was in-depth but not too deep to be boring. It kept me interested the whole time and I just needed to find out what was going to happen between these two men. Would distance make them realise what they meant to each other? Read and find out!
May 20, 2018
4.5 stars. Review upcoming.
June 4, 2018
This story is brilliant. It is both edgy and gripping and I really enjoyed reading it. For me the best part of the story is that it is very realistic and draws upon the lived experience of the author and it manages to do this without being dry or technical. It is this sense of reality that makes the story gripping because although it is fiction, it could actually happen in real life.
Cameron has spent ten years working in UN refugee camps. He is excellent at what he does and he is a lead UN staffer, but this has taken its toll and now the only way he can deal with the pressures and the stress is by allowing his inner darkness to sustain him. He has some kind of depression and although he manages it from day to day things are building up and getting worse.
Tyler has spent many years building up his career as a journalist and when the opportunity comes to go to a refugee camp in Kenya he sees this as a chance for him to move into overseas correspondence. It is another step to further develop his career. When the two men meet there is a frisson of attraction between them but Cam struggles with this because on the field he is in the closet. He cannot risk his safety and the safety of others. He won't act on that attraction because of what haunts his past.
Life is surprising and the two men bump into each other on the plane home to New York and then again at a party. Eventually the attraction between them bursts into flames and the two men combust along with it. This physical attraction is scorching but the darkness in Cam is growing and eventually gets out of control. Despite this Tyler is there to help him and support him even though Ty has struggles of his own.
Cameron and Tyler both do a good job of denying what they feel for each other and allowing the circumstances of their lives to prevent them from recognising the feelings they are developing for each other, or maybe both men are just afraid of what the feelings may to lead to, but at the same time neither of them wants to let go.
“They had navigated through a maze of wrong turns and false starts to find the real versions of each other, and they couldn’t afford to lose even one moment.”
I really enjoyed this story and I read it all in one day because it just has a very subtle way of creeping up on the reader and gripping them. The story would just not let me go. The characters are so realistic and multi-dimensional and the issues that the men face are contemporary. All of this makes the book very engaging.
Cam and Ty struggle to sort out their relationship and what they truly want from each other. They struggle with their careers and the demands made on them and they also struggle with the demands they have placed on themselves, like career minded people often do. All of this was beautifully portrayed. Reading this was like watching a tv drama and I refused to put it down until the very end.
As I read the story I was drawn into the complexities of the characters and the issues facing them. I have always wanted to work for the UN but at the moment I work for an international charity. I could understand the complexities of Cam's work and the immensity of the task and the pressure to 'get things moving'. I also enjoyed the secondary characters. Cam's sister Izzy was such an irritating person, but at the same time she was the kind of person that you need in your corner. His mother was well meaning but insensitive and oblivious. The issues Ty faced as an ethnic minority person in the work place are very real. Many of us have been there and his frustration and the way he handled it were so well depicted.
The story has a really good pace and every aspect was just so well integrated. I am not a great fan of 'polyfilla' sex scenes. There were sex scenes in this story but they moved the story along and fit in so seamlessly instead of being obligatory like in some books. Fluffy reads are all very well and good, and I do enjoy them but sometimes I want something deeper. This story provides that depth. It is is mm romance with intelligence and maturity.
I haven't read anything by this author before but I really enjoyed her writing style and I am going to be following her from now on. This was truly a very satisfying reading experience.
Copy provided by Riptide Publishing via Netgalley in exchange for an unbiased review - many thanks.
Cameron has spent ten years working in UN refugee camps. He is excellent at what he does and he is a lead UN staffer, but this has taken its toll and now the only way he can deal with the pressures and the stress is by allowing his inner darkness to sustain him. He has some kind of depression and although he manages it from day to day things are building up and getting worse.
Tyler has spent many years building up his career as a journalist and when the opportunity comes to go to a refugee camp in Kenya he sees this as a chance for him to move into overseas correspondence. It is another step to further develop his career. When the two men meet there is a frisson of attraction between them but Cam struggles with this because on the field he is in the closet. He cannot risk his safety and the safety of others. He won't act on that attraction because of what haunts his past.
Life is surprising and the two men bump into each other on the plane home to New York and then again at a party. Eventually the attraction between them bursts into flames and the two men combust along with it. This physical attraction is scorching but the darkness in Cam is growing and eventually gets out of control. Despite this Tyler is there to help him and support him even though Ty has struggles of his own.
Cameron and Tyler both do a good job of denying what they feel for each other and allowing the circumstances of their lives to prevent them from recognising the feelings they are developing for each other, or maybe both men are just afraid of what the feelings may to lead to, but at the same time neither of them wants to let go.
“They had navigated through a maze of wrong turns and false starts to find the real versions of each other, and they couldn’t afford to lose even one moment.”
I really enjoyed this story and I read it all in one day because it just has a very subtle way of creeping up on the reader and gripping them. The story would just not let me go. The characters are so realistic and multi-dimensional and the issues that the men face are contemporary. All of this makes the book very engaging.
Cam and Ty struggle to sort out their relationship and what they truly want from each other. They struggle with their careers and the demands made on them and they also struggle with the demands they have placed on themselves, like career minded people often do. All of this was beautifully portrayed. Reading this was like watching a tv drama and I refused to put it down until the very end.
As I read the story I was drawn into the complexities of the characters and the issues facing them. I have always wanted to work for the UN but at the moment I work for an international charity. I could understand the complexities of Cam's work and the immensity of the task and the pressure to 'get things moving'. I also enjoyed the secondary characters. Cam's sister Izzy was such an irritating person, but at the same time she was the kind of person that you need in your corner. His mother was well meaning but insensitive and oblivious. The issues Ty faced as an ethnic minority person in the work place are very real. Many of us have been there and his frustration and the way he handled it were so well depicted.
The story has a really good pace and every aspect was just so well integrated. I am not a great fan of 'polyfilla' sex scenes. There were sex scenes in this story but they moved the story along and fit in so seamlessly instead of being obligatory like in some books. Fluffy reads are all very well and good, and I do enjoy them but sometimes I want something deeper. This story provides that depth. It is is mm romance with intelligence and maturity.
I haven't read anything by this author before but I really enjoyed her writing style and I am going to be following her from now on. This was truly a very satisfying reading experience.
Copy provided by Riptide Publishing via Netgalley in exchange for an unbiased review - many thanks.
March 13, 2021
This is the 4th title I've read by Lin. And I'm grateful and impressed by two things (1) the Asian men are active characters, well-rounded, and appealing and (2) the settings of each title are quite diverse and convincing. Of the latter, it's been a UN refugee camp, Hong Kong, a Canadian college campus, a simple coffee shop.
Of the former, I think it speaks volumes to have an #ownvoices author depict Asian Canadian and Asian American characters. Lin crafts believable, nuanced and authentic male characters that have agency.
As importantly the story here is affecting. I'd definitely read more titles by this author!
Of the former, I think it speaks volumes to have an #ownvoices author depict Asian Canadian and Asian American characters. Lin crafts believable, nuanced and authentic male characters that have agency.
As importantly the story here is affecting. I'd definitely read more titles by this author!
June 7, 2018
CW: PTSD, therapy, breakdowns, etc., flashbacks of a deadly gay bashing
✦ UN aid worker
✦ Journalist (Asian American)
This is the dreaded “it was ok” kind of book. I didn’t hate it, didn’t love it, and have very little to say that’s at all helpful. :/
I did feel like the romance was a bit lite. Example: we don't get any discussion of them being anything behind occasional fuck buddies until about 95%. That's . . . a bit too MIA for me. I’m not saying I needed them to sit down and confess their love and plan their futures at 50% or anything, but come on, 95%?!
Also: I had a hard time keeping track of the passage of time. 2 weeks would pass here, then a month there, then a few days here --- it was just . .. unclear? At least to me. I spent a lot of time going back to reread a section and try and figure out how much time had passed since a previous scene/situation. These time jumps also meant that I felt like a lot of things were skipped over.
I just realized I didn't even highlight a single quote in this book. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! IDK, that's probably the best example of what I mean by "this book was ok". You know I'm a quote whore, and if I don't find something to highlight, well, things are not going as well as they should be, you know?
I don’t regret reading this book. I will probably try the author again in the future. But for me, this book was pretty underwhelming.
✦ UN aid worker
✦ Journalist (Asian American)
This is the dreaded “it was ok” kind of book. I didn’t hate it, didn’t love it, and have very little to say that’s at all helpful. :/
I did feel like the romance was a bit lite. Example: we don't get any discussion of them being anything behind occasional fuck buddies until about 95%. That's . . . a bit too MIA for me. I’m not saying I needed them to sit down and confess their love and plan their futures at 50% or anything, but come on, 95%?!
Also: I had a hard time keeping track of the passage of time. 2 weeks would pass here, then a month there, then a few days here --- it was just . .. unclear? At least to me. I spent a lot of time going back to reread a section and try and figure out how much time had passed since a previous scene/situation. These time jumps also meant that I felt like a lot of things were skipped over.
I just realized I didn't even highlight a single quote in this book. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! IDK, that's probably the best example of what I mean by "this book was ok". You know I'm a quote whore, and if I don't find something to highlight, well, things are not going as well as they should be, you know?
I don’t regret reading this book. I will probably try the author again in the future. But for me, this book was pretty underwhelming.
May 12, 2018
**Copy provided by author for honest review.**
3.5 out of 5 stars
Cameron, an international aid worker, suffers from PTSD from being out in the field for several years. His darkness is a place of fear at times, and at times a place of safety. He meets Tyler, a journalist, while on location in Kenya. The attraction is mutual but they part on less than ideal terms.
As the title implies, darkness plays a big part in this story. The insight into Cam's struggles (his "darkness") is written in such a way that I felt his anxiety and fear. The description of his disassociation when triggered was spot on. This is a heavy read, and Cam's spiral into the darkness and his methods of coping elicited conflicting emotions. There were times when I wanted to yell at him to get his act together. Other times, I empathized with his downward spiral.
Tyler starts off as self absorbed and career driven. As he gets to know Cam and his struggles, Tyler becomes more likable and the best support system for Cam. I appreciated how their relationship evolved and how in tune he is to Cam's emotions and needs.
It took me a few chapters to get into the story, and the ending left me feeling like something was missing. There is so much detail in the middle (Cam's road to recovery and the development of his relationship with Ty), that the ending felt rushed. I felt like a needed more detail for a proper resolution.
3.5 out of 5 stars
Cameron, an international aid worker, suffers from PTSD from being out in the field for several years. His darkness is a place of fear at times, and at times a place of safety. He meets Tyler, a journalist, while on location in Kenya. The attraction is mutual but they part on less than ideal terms.
As the title implies, darkness plays a big part in this story. The insight into Cam's struggles (his "darkness") is written in such a way that I felt his anxiety and fear. The description of his disassociation when triggered was spot on. This is a heavy read, and Cam's spiral into the darkness and his methods of coping elicited conflicting emotions. There were times when I wanted to yell at him to get his act together. Other times, I empathized with his downward spiral.
Tyler starts off as self absorbed and career driven. As he gets to know Cam and his struggles, Tyler becomes more likable and the best support system for Cam. I appreciated how their relationship evolved and how in tune he is to Cam's emotions and needs.
It took me a few chapters to get into the story, and the ending left me feeling like something was missing. There is so much detail in the middle (Cam's road to recovery and the development of his relationship with Ty), that the ending felt rushed. I felt like a needed more detail for a proper resolution.
June 10, 2018
Inside Darkness by Hudson Lin in my opinion was neither good nor bad. It was one of those average books that had a plot I struggled with, I found myself skimming chapters, avoiding it for days at a time, forgetting to continue in favor of something better and to be fair the writing was ok. Was I enraptured by it? No, but could I follow along? Yes. I got the gist that Cam had PTSD and Ty felt overlooked in his field of journalism but apart from all this, their story just seemed to drag on...and on...and I lost interest.
Cam and Ty's chemistry was tepid, the characters were not well suited and their angst felt forced. Again this was not a terrible book but it's not something I'd read again and because this author is new to me, that fact comes as a bit of a let down.
Read if you're willing to give this author a chance for me though it's a meh.
Cam and Ty's chemistry was tepid, the characters were not well suited and their angst felt forced. Again this was not a terrible book but it's not something I'd read again and because this author is new to me, that fact comes as a bit of a let down.
Read if you're willing to give this author a chance for me though it's a meh.
June 22, 2019
I finished this book all in one sitting and was up WAY too late reading this. lol I really loved the characters and the story with showing what aid workers go through. One thing I would have loved to see more of is Tyler, since his entire story seems to be wrapped around Cam’s life and what Cam is going through.
***Thanks to the author for providing me an ARC to review***
***Thanks to the author for providing me an ARC to review***
April 29, 2018
Ce bouquin m'a tapé dans l’œil dès que je l'ai vu apparaître dans les futures parutions sur Goodreads. Une couverture sombre et énigmatique, un titre accrocheur, un résumé alléchant ... Bref, une tentation à l'état pur !
Ce roman se déroule dans un univers assez inédit, puisque l'un des personnages, Cam, est un travailleur humanitaire. On peut le considérer comme un "vieux" baroudeur, rôdé aux camps de réfugiés, à la misère, la mort, la maladie, la précarité ... Seulement, un tel engagement n'est pas sans risques, et Cam souffre d'une profonde dépression, assortie d'une addiction à l'alcool. Il souffre aussi de stress post-traumatique (et c'est bien la première fois que je lis un roman avec un PTSD autrement que pour un soldat). C'est un personnage accompagné en permanence par ce qu'il appelle sa 'noirceur', qui est aussi bien une béquille sur laquelle s'appuyer, qu'une arme d'auto-destruction massive.
Tyler est quant à lui un journaliste, exceptionnellement envoyé à l'étranger, dans le camp où travaille Cam. Ce jeune homme d'origine asiatique est cantonné à la rubrique des bols de riz et autres thématiques asiatiques. Issu d'un milieu très pauvre et ayant vécu une enfance compliquée, il veut prendre sa revanche sur la société et prendre sa carrière en main, prouver que sa couleur de peau et ses origines importent peu, et qu'il est bien un Américain à part entière, avec les mêmes droits et les mêmes opportunités que ses collègues caucasiens.
La première rencontre entre Tyler et Cam est explosive, et ensuite, ils vont se recroiser par hasard à de nombreuses reprises, à New York. Leurs échanges ne sont pas toujours très cordiaux, mais l'attirance physique est bel et bien forte. Ce sont deux personnages imparfaits, qui ne s'épargnent pas, qui trébuchent, jugent parfois trop vite, se volent dans les plumes. Leur romance n'a rien de simple, mais elle reste finalement assez discrète et très naturelle, comme si elle coulait de source.
Le livre a t-il été à la hauteur de mes attentes ? Oui; et non à la fois.
Si j'ai aimé la façon dont l'auteur dépeint les démons des personnages et relate leur manière de s'y prendre pour les surmonter, j'ai en revanche été gênée par certains rebondissements et incohérences, qui ont quelque peu gâché le plaisir éprouvé à la lecture, surtout à la fin. Pour autant, c'est un livre dont je garde un souvenir ému, tant la détresse de Cam m'a touchée.
Ce roman se déroule dans un univers assez inédit, puisque l'un des personnages, Cam, est un travailleur humanitaire. On peut le considérer comme un "vieux" baroudeur, rôdé aux camps de réfugiés, à la misère, la mort, la maladie, la précarité ... Seulement, un tel engagement n'est pas sans risques, et Cam souffre d'une profonde dépression, assortie d'une addiction à l'alcool. Il souffre aussi de stress post-traumatique (et c'est bien la première fois que je lis un roman avec un PTSD autrement que pour un soldat). C'est un personnage accompagné en permanence par ce qu'il appelle sa 'noirceur', qui est aussi bien une béquille sur laquelle s'appuyer, qu'une arme d'auto-destruction massive.
Tyler est quant à lui un journaliste, exceptionnellement envoyé à l'étranger, dans le camp où travaille Cam. Ce jeune homme d'origine asiatique est cantonné à la rubrique des bols de riz et autres thématiques asiatiques. Issu d'un milieu très pauvre et ayant vécu une enfance compliquée, il veut prendre sa revanche sur la société et prendre sa carrière en main, prouver que sa couleur de peau et ses origines importent peu, et qu'il est bien un Américain à part entière, avec les mêmes droits et les mêmes opportunités que ses collègues caucasiens.
La première rencontre entre Tyler et Cam est explosive, et ensuite, ils vont se recroiser par hasard à de nombreuses reprises, à New York. Leurs échanges ne sont pas toujours très cordiaux, mais l'attirance physique est bel et bien forte. Ce sont deux personnages imparfaits, qui ne s'épargnent pas, qui trébuchent, jugent parfois trop vite, se volent dans les plumes. Leur romance n'a rien de simple, mais elle reste finalement assez discrète et très naturelle, comme si elle coulait de source.
Le livre a t-il été à la hauteur de mes attentes ? Oui; et non à la fois.
Si j'ai aimé la façon dont l'auteur dépeint les démons des personnages et relate leur manière de s'y prendre pour les surmonter, j'ai en revanche été gênée par certains rebondissements et incohérences, qui ont quelque peu gâché le plaisir éprouvé à la lecture, surtout à la fin. Pour autant, c'est un livre dont je garde un souvenir ému, tant la détresse de Cam m'a touchée.
June 26, 2018
Reviewed for Just Love.
3.5 Stars
Hudson Lin is a new author to me, leaving me with no real idea how I’d like her writing, which meant I had little to no idea about Inside Darkness, save the blurb. So diving in, not sure what to expect, I was pleasantly surprised. Still, I’ve struggled with now to rate this book.
Inside Darkness is a rough story about Cam and Ty. Cam, an aid worker with the UN who has a lot of “field-cred”, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. And Ty, an investigative reporter who has been working to get his field-cred, hoping it will propel him further in his career. Both men– very different, both from very differing lives– meet in an African country but continue to cross paths when they’re both back in NYC. The roughness of the story for me was that it was pretty dark and gritty. It almost isn’t a romance, at least not for me, if only because all the romantic situations were not romantic at all but felt like a desperate need for connection. No, Inside Darkness felt more like a discovery about Cam and Ty’s issues, how to recognize them, how to ask for help, and how to heal… or to attempt to heal.
To say that I enjoyed reading this seems like the wrong thing to say. Cam’s story specifically was so difficult to read. I felt nothing but sorrow for him and what he goes through. The path to all the field cred he has was riddled with tragedy, so when he has a panic attack, when that darkness comes to try and smother him, when something would trigger his memories, or his nightmares would not let him sleep, it wasn’t happy reading. Add-in Ty’s issues of work place racism, identity issues, and his closed off heart, it was even harder to get through. The thing is, this book is written well, and the story is told so honestly, nothing glossed over at all, that I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy it.
I do wish that the story focused more on Ty… I feel like his story was not fully developed and it left me wishing for more, maybe a bit more balance. He’s got a lot to deal with when it comes to Cam, and that takes much of his part of the story. But he also has the work issues, what I felt were some real issues about his heritage and remembering about is life as a child, coming to terms with his mothers death… there was a lot of potential there that could have been more fully developed. I think it’s not even page time, or POV time that is my issue, but perhaps just my need to have Ty’s own story more flushed out and brought to the forefront. I felt like he had things going on and nobody was there for him. Nobody was helping him through any of it because everyone was there for Cam. I also felt that the ending was a little abrupt and that kind of bummed me out bit.
While there is very little happiness happening throughout the book, and I mean VERY LITTLE, I appreciated the authors attempt at bringing to light issues of depression, PTSD, and how life as an aid worker for the UN could be very difficult without a good support system. And even then, it’s still a hard road to walk. I liked both characters very much, but I really liked Ty best. His ability to be there for Cam, to work at understanding him, to open his heart up when he didn’t want to, and his determination to not let Cam push him away no matter how much of a jerk he was, made Ty the star of this book for me.
In the end, I was glad when I was finally finished with this but I would recommend this to anyone who is interested in a gritty and difficult read. Sometimes these are the best reads at the right time.
ARC provided via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
3.5 Stars
Hudson Lin is a new author to me, leaving me with no real idea how I’d like her writing, which meant I had little to no idea about Inside Darkness, save the blurb. So diving in, not sure what to expect, I was pleasantly surprised. Still, I’ve struggled with now to rate this book.
Inside Darkness is a rough story about Cam and Ty. Cam, an aid worker with the UN who has a lot of “field-cred”, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. And Ty, an investigative reporter who has been working to get his field-cred, hoping it will propel him further in his career. Both men– very different, both from very differing lives– meet in an African country but continue to cross paths when they’re both back in NYC. The roughness of the story for me was that it was pretty dark and gritty. It almost isn’t a romance, at least not for me, if only because all the romantic situations were not romantic at all but felt like a desperate need for connection. No, Inside Darkness felt more like a discovery about Cam and Ty’s issues, how to recognize them, how to ask for help, and how to heal… or to attempt to heal.
To say that I enjoyed reading this seems like the wrong thing to say. Cam’s story specifically was so difficult to read. I felt nothing but sorrow for him and what he goes through. The path to all the field cred he has was riddled with tragedy, so when he has a panic attack, when that darkness comes to try and smother him, when something would trigger his memories, or his nightmares would not let him sleep, it wasn’t happy reading. Add-in Ty’s issues of work place racism, identity issues, and his closed off heart, it was even harder to get through. The thing is, this book is written well, and the story is told so honestly, nothing glossed over at all, that I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy it.
I do wish that the story focused more on Ty… I feel like his story was not fully developed and it left me wishing for more, maybe a bit more balance. He’s got a lot to deal with when it comes to Cam, and that takes much of his part of the story. But he also has the work issues, what I felt were some real issues about his heritage and remembering about is life as a child, coming to terms with his mothers death… there was a lot of potential there that could have been more fully developed. I think it’s not even page time, or POV time that is my issue, but perhaps just my need to have Ty’s own story more flushed out and brought to the forefront. I felt like he had things going on and nobody was there for him. Nobody was helping him through any of it because everyone was there for Cam. I also felt that the ending was a little abrupt and that kind of bummed me out bit.
While there is very little happiness happening throughout the book, and I mean VERY LITTLE, I appreciated the authors attempt at bringing to light issues of depression, PTSD, and how life as an aid worker for the UN could be very difficult without a good support system. And even then, it’s still a hard road to walk. I liked both characters very much, but I really liked Ty best. His ability to be there for Cam, to work at understanding him, to open his heart up when he didn’t want to, and his determination to not let Cam push him away no matter how much of a jerk he was, made Ty the star of this book for me.
In the end, I was glad when I was finally finished with this but I would recommend this to anyone who is interested in a gritty and difficult read. Sometimes these are the best reads at the right time.
ARC provided via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
May 6, 2018
I enjoyed the fact the the person suffering PTSD was not a solider. Tyler Ang, a refugee himself had has his own sad life. Growing up in foster care after the death of his mother and being thrown around and harrassed more than once, his ultimate goal is to make something out of his life, to be someone, which also makes him ambitious in his job to a fault. Nothing and no one will stand in his way and he had built up bricks around his heart. Hook-ups are his own distraction and that earned him a certain reputation. Suddenly there is someone, though, who sparks an interest in him. Whose vulnerability, whose broken soul speaks to him. The story is told from both POV's, but I wish I would have gotten a bit more insight into his past, other than the few glimpses between Tyler and Cam sometimes were a bit too clinical on Ty’s part at least at the beginning, but maybe that is the journalist in him. I absolutely adored both of them, the were so sweet together. Everytime they rested their foreheads together it made me melt. Yes I’m a sap.
ARC received by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
ARC received by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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September 1, 2018DNF - couldn't get into the story or the characters and stopped caring.
August 7, 2021
Not a very happy theme to this one and parts of it were very hard to read. I liked learning early on what Cam's darkness was and how it changed as he did. It was an original and compelling read. Cam and Ty are fascinating characters, both with painful stories, but somehow it never felt over the top. I would have liked more focus on why they’re attracted to each other so early on, which would have brought more romantic tension into the story and enhanced their relationship. While the book doesn't try to give a cure-all for PTSD, or present the fantasy that falling in love can make everything immediately all better...but it does show that falling in love with a really good person that will take you with all your bumps and bruises...can go a long way in helping you come to terms with almost anything that life throws at you.
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