Beyond a Binary God: A Theology for Trans* Allies

by Tara K. Soughers

- How the inclusion of trans people in our communities of faith has the potential to broaden our understanding - Written by a priest and parent of a trans person - Discussion/journaling questions included

All are made in the image and likeness of God. If this is what we believe, then trans people, like all people, reflect something of God, and not just in the ways that they share in common with others, but also in the ways that they are different. They remind us that God is beyond all of our categories, even gender. In this book, Tara Soughers explores theology from the position of a trans ally-a parent of a trans young adult as well as priest. What does it mean about God and about humans, that there is not a strict gender binary? How can we affirm and include what we have learned about the permeability of boundaries to affirm those whose path does not follow traditional cultural stereotypes, and how might the broadening help us to understand the God who is never two for Christians, but both one and three? What gifts does this broader understanding bring to the church?

Genres: Religion, Theology, Queer, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Christianity, LGBT

122 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 17, 2018

Reviews

[Kyle Bradshaw · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don't get me wrong, I learned a lot from this book, but I was frustrated by how much time the author spent laying out the need for a trans* theology rather than actually sharing arguments for that theology.

[AJ Nolan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stumbled upon this book, not even knowing that I needed to read it until I saw it, and I am so glad that I saw it. While this book is written by a trans ally, intended for other trans allies, as a non-binary person, or, rather, as a trans man who has been struggling to accept that, this book was the book I needed to read. It does not preach loving tolerance for trans people, but rather full loving acceptance of trans people into the Christian faith, including a lucid deconstruction of the trinity and of God, and the God in trinity, being non-binary, and thus trans people being made in God's image just like all of creation. It is a lovingly written and honest book that read like a warm welcome into community. Well done!

[Bethany Leonard · Rating 1 out of 5]

I genuinely wanted to love this book, but I found the lack of strong, supportive, and sound theological arguments discouraging and disappointing. We do need good theology, but theology that is rooted in our tradition and not one that is reactive.

[Heather Bottoms · Rating 4 out of 5]

A much needed and compassionate introduction to trans theology, written by an Episcopal priest and mother of a trans son. It focuses on the ways that the triune God is beyond gender and how reaching past traditional assumptions of gender roles and identities can help us understand and fully embrace our transgender brothers and sisters as fellow image bearers of God. The author brings both her personal experience and her work as a theologian to the book and is a great launching point for study and discussion.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Don’t get me wrong from my rating. I absolutely, whole-heartedly support my transgender brothers and sisters on Christ. And yet, I didn’t feel like this book moved me forward in that philosophy or argued well for theological points that would support my position.

[Sarah Sheppard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beyond a Binary God by Tara K. Soughers is a vitally important read for Christian trans allies. She approaches it in a way that is obvious that she has written this as a cis-gendered person for other cis-gendered people. It truly is a book designed for allies, as Soughers is correct in stating that she can't speak to the lived experiences of trans people.

Speaking as a layperson with no real in-depth theological education, this book reads very academically. I wish it was a little more approachable from a layperson perspective, but she does her best to thoroughly explain all of her points throughout the book.

There were a few times I felt a little lost, or a little confused about why something was included. Full disclosure, I was ready to rate this book 4 stars instead of 5, up to the last 30 pages. The conclusion really brings it all together in a digestible way that I appreciated greatly. In fact, I think I would have gotten more out of the book if I had read the last chapter first, and went into the long-winded theological arguments with Soughers' end game in mind. I definitely see a re-read of the book in my future.

[K Kriesel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although I understand that books by white, ordained allies are necessary because some people refuse to listen to anyone else, so much of this book is too outdated for me to recommend now. I also found this to be both overwhelmingly white and also narrow in terms of liturgy. The part on the Holy Spirit kept making me think "has Soughers ever met a Catholic?"

[Jonathan Leonard · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am sympathetic the the author’s project and position. But that is no excuse for poor writing and sloppy arguments. I wanted to love this book. I was disappointed.

[Marybeth Wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting and unique book.

[David Kem · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading this as an interlude book in Education for Ministry and I absolutely loved it. I was a little hesitant due to the reviews below, but I felt that this was extremely helpful and eye-opening. I highly recommend this book!

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this in a paperback edition like the 'Kindle' edition shown (too harried at this point to replicate the edition).

Tara K. Soughers is an academic with specialization in "practical theology" but felt called to write a book for transgender allies when she was worried about the impact of the trans lifestyle-- particularly on spirituality and church involvement-- on her own trans son. She wanted to be part of making a shift from the current fear and xenophobia that is found in churches (that leads to violence and alienation) to inclusiveness and valuing the gifts that trans people bring to loving, accepting, compassionate community.

I plan to read other material that is less academic, but I do find that I found a great deal to think about and appreciate about Soughers' contribution to the field for those of us who would like to be seen and experienced as warm and accepting and on the side of justice for trans persons. I always (and I mean since my Catholic girlhood more than 50 years ago) wondered about how God, although genderless, could be maintained in the strength of the crumbling social paradigm of the patriarchal ideal. But likely because of not being too immediately impacted myself-- with my white, educated, two-parent agnostic background-- I just "lived" with the Father, Son and ? Spirit gender assignments. I did believe that the Spirit is/was more feminine in gender (maybe the comforting aspect?). Soughers presents some great research examples of how a non-Binary God very aptly represent the range of gender expression of God's people. God is NOT one or two, but three, for example.

I plan to re-read this book to attain a more solid understanding. I am happy to have that privilege.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this with my Education for Ministry group, and it was SUCH a rich book for discussion. The author presents her work as an intro to trans theology, but takes care to note that she's writing from outside—as an ally (and mother of a trans son) rather than as a trans person. This was a great introduction to the ways non-binary thinking can open up our perspective of who God is: "the God who is one and three, but never two."

[Micah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book

This book combines a number of very valuable points: a concise introduction to current terms, a short history of things like queer theory in biblical studies, robust theologies that support human gender diversity, and the author’s personal story. Compelling.

[John Defrog: global citizen, local gadfly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was assigned reading for a class, and I’m glad it was, because I fully admit to being rather ignorant on the whole transgender topic to the point that I tend to stay out of debates about it. To be clear, I have always believed that trans people should be treated with love, dignity and respect – I mean, that’s just an obvious baseline to me. But a lot of the debate tends to focus either on the science of gender, the whole TERF thing, the supposed Biblical arguments against trans people, or the political trappings that these views tend to be wrapped in. I don’t know enough about it to argue on those levels, and I’m disinclined to debate about stuff I don’t know anything about. And while I’d like to educate myself, it’s hard to find reliable information or know what sources to trust, given the aforementioned political tropes and the general state of disinformation.

Anyway, Tara Soughers wrote this book after finding out that her 20-year-old daughter was actually a trans man. While Soughers understood transgenderism from an academic POV, she struggled how to process it as a parent, a trans ally and an Episcopal priest. The latter was especially tricky, as very few resources were available that looked at where trans people fit into from a theological stance, apart from conservative Christians who use existing theology to persecute everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community. So Soughers decided to write her own book to explore this issue.

Consequently, the book is less of a concrete theology and more of Soughers processing her own thoughts about her trans son, the transgender community and how they might reflect God’s image (as we all do) from a theological standpoint. I can’t say how successful she is in terms of the theology, but it’s a decent start, should anyone care to listen or follow up. I do think she makes a very strong argument that God’s creation is far too complex to be reduced to binary dualities, and that people who do not fit the binary are not problems to be solved, but gifts from God to help us gain a deeper understanding of Him and ourselves. I also learned a lot about transgender studies, so there’s that. To risk stating the obvious, what others make of this will depend on what political or theological baggage they bring to the table.

[:)))🏳️‍🌈 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It's very theology heavy, I have not studied theology before so it was a bit difficult to comprehend at times. However, I think this is a great resource for Pastors who are trying to guide their congregation towards acceptance, or for non-pastors who are dedicated to taking the time to understand the book. I wrote down several passages from this book that meant a lot to me. However, one of them really resonated with how I feel as a lesbian in the church that I grew up at. Though my church is welcoming, I still feel uncomfortable and afraid to do things that might be perceived as "too queer" :

"Many churches are becoming much more welcoming for members of the trans community, and God knows we need to be more welcoming. But it is not enough simply to welcome. To welcome them into our congregations is to imply somehow that this is our church: we are the hosts and they are the guests. To place them in the role of guests is to require them to behave in socially acceptable ways and to follow the rules of the house they are visiting. To welcome them as guests is to imply that we have the right to invite them or not invite them. To welcome them as guests is to proclaim that they are not really part of the family. To welcome them as guests is to keep them separate and contained. To welcome them as guests is to state, although perhaps more nicely than we do many other times, that they are not related to us. If we really believe, however, that they, like all of us, are made in the image and likeness of God, then they are not our guests, and we are not their hosts. God is the host, and all of us are God's family, gathered around the dinner table".

Very good book, I recommend it to Christians who are interested in queer theory, or queer people who are interested in theology. It is written by a cis woman, and she says that she is writing it from an ally's perspective, and to ally's, to help them understand being trans at church. As a cis woman myself, I can't speak for how this might interest trans people, but I feel like there are points that may be useful or comforting to trans people and trans Christians.

[blmagm · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tara Soughers, an Episcopal priest and mother of two sons, one cis and one trans*, hoped that a book like this already existed, but since it did not, she discerned that God was calling her to write it. She makes several strong points for the need to think beyond a binary God. Gender identity, along with every other human characteristic, belongs on a continuum. If we think in terms of only the dichotomy of male and female, we are disallowing for the complex, diversity that God offers through nature. Yes, the Bible says God created male and female, not in exclusivity, but to show the whole range, just as she points out, God created day and night, but surely that includes dawn and dusk and every moment in between.

The author details the ways in which trans* people are discriminated against in terms of education, employment, and socio-economic status. Just because they choose to live authentic lives, they face fear of emotional distress and physical danger. The church must accept responsibility for its role in treating trans* seekers as “others” rather than as fellow journeyers.

She encourages people to examine their traditionally held views of the trinity as masculine and hierarchical and to invite new ways that are more androgynous and egalitarian. Ironically, however, the hymn that she quotes in her closing paragraph uses masculine language to describe God. “God is love, and where true love is, God himself is there.”

There is extensive repetition of points being made throughout the book. If it were all condensed, eliminating restatements, it would have made a good solid article, rather than a book.

[Kali Cawthon-Freels · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book to be a helpful starting point for cis folks who are seeking to be allies for the trans community. I appreciated Soughers' concise summaries of important theological concepts and histories that help explain where we get our current gendered understanding of God. Her summation of Gregory of Nazianzus was particularly insightful. In her summaries and critiques, she uses straightforward language that is accessible to lay folks (which I think is a significant benefit).

That said, I found the book to focus mostly on the theoretical and less on the practical. Often in progressive Christian spaces, we adamantly discuss the need for change without laying out practical steps for how to make that change happen. Soughers is no exception to this trend when she concludes the book by saying that we need to view trans folks in churches not as guests, but as members of the Church family. That's a fantastic sentiment, but does not offer concrete steps for how to make that a reality. Additionally, some level of commentary around how understanding God as nonbinary has changed her own spirituality would have only enhanced the book.

Overall, I'd still recommend this book to cis folks who are seeking to be better allies to the trans community-- with a caveat that this book should be a starting point.

[Shifty · Rating 3 out of 5]

We read this book as part of our Education for Ministry class and a group of 11 of us discussed it. One person in the group is trans, and several others have trans children.

Overall we thought the book takes an important first step in making the case for cisgender Christians to see the theological case for welcoming and including trans people in their midst. The comparisons of the two creation stories was interesting, particularly noting the phrase "male AND female they were created" as opposed to "male OR female".

But most of us agreed that a lot of the book seemed to be the author doing the work of processing these issues herself. The parents clearly related to the feelings she had upon getting the news about her child (one found out the exact same way). The actual theology seemed to get and stay in the weeds of gender as a spectrum which seems more of an argument towards tolerance of nonbinary folk than transgender folk (who are--at the end of the day--mostly fairly binary in how they see themselves, if not the label the world tried to assign them).

[Emma Stewart]

i don’t rate non-fiction like this normally but i will give quotes that really stuck out to me!

“our culture’s inability to recognize trans people as fully human is a sign of the human inability to be fully open to the very real diversity that is a part of God’s creation”

“We often act as if we believe that our experience of the One who made heaven and earth is sufficient to fully describe God”

“Those who challenge us to look at the complexity of human life are not problems to be solved, but gifts of a loving God to help us grow into a deeper understanding of ourselves and our non-binary God.”

“They remind us that human beings, made in the image and likeness of a God who cannot be fully comprehended by human beings, are also complex, mysterious, and beyond our attempts to simplify them into easily managed categories”

[Remi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty good ally work here. Written by an ally and for trans* allies. What I appreciated most was the way she pushes back on the typical umbrella way churches talk about LGBTQ+ people. She rightly points out that while more and more churches are open and affirming of gay and lesbian couples, many have not done the work around trans* identity and affirmation. Her creation theology was perfectly fine but has been done before. I really appreciated her trinitarian theology and how she applies it as a challenge to the binary, but it is probably pretty inaccessible to a demographic of lay allies. (I'm not sure if her target demographic is lay or academic... Parts of it seemed at a beginner level but then this chapter was very heady.) I'm glad she's done this ally work and look forward to seeing more, from other allies as well as trans* people.

[Logan Crews · Rating 2 out of 5]

i wanted to read this book before recommending it to anyone, and can't say that i will do so. i think the idea of a theology for trans allies is a good idea but it came at the expense of reducing really complex topics down to the point they lost their original meaning. either that or the author has a terrible grasp on queer theory and what gender is. i would also caution that it is from an extremely white perspective and fails to consider intersectionality. could the christian parent of a trans kid learn something helpful from this book? yeah but i'd rather them jump headfirst into actual trans & queer theology rather than get sent in the wrong direction by one for trans allies after the author admits she'll likely get things wrong.

[Nich Henry · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is an okay read. Not a bad introduction to the idea of the existence of the gender-diverse community, but it is very limited in theology and understanding how varied the Christian religion is. The author claims that the concept of the Trinity is central to being Christian and every Christian believes it, which is not true as there are many ways of conceptualizing God, Christ, and the Spirit beyond a 3 in 1. I would have hoped the author in their research had been more expansive in their understanding of religion but it seemed as though everything was only viewed through the lens of a limited Protestant view (and then presented as The Way of Christianity).

So not a bad introduction but a very limited introduction.

[Gary · Rating 1 out of 5]

120 pages to try to convince herself that her transgender daughter is accepted by God and that God is okay with the plethora of sinful relationships within the LGBTQWERTY community are not sins but are expressions of the inclusiveness of a non binary god. She fails miserably. She mentions a few Bible verses in passing but uses Genesis 1:26-28 (the very verse that should convict her of her heresy) as a "proof" text for her false assertions. Instead of the Bible, she uses art work and LGBTQWERTY "experts" to support her conclusions. All because her daughter wants to be a boy. This book is #forhereticalresearchonly !

[Julia Alberino · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's always hard to know how to rate these books that are assigned reading for classes I take. No question that this is a book that needed to be written. The author's honesty and clear writing style made this assignment pleasurable and thought-provoking. I would quibble with her not citing some sources for concepts I recognized from other readings for the program in which I am enrolled, but that's a minor criticism. Definitely worth the time to read.

[Janet Daniels · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tara Soughers writes a gentle but firm description of a theology for trans allies. Partly biographical, she describes her own journey as a trans ally and parent. She also frames a way to think about a non-binary God which enlarges the ways we consider God, who is bigger than all we can imagine.

We read this book for EFM 2023-24 as an interlude in December.

[Tess · Rating 5 out of 5]

"As Christians, we do a great disservice to the trans* community if we make light of their passion for living into their God-given identities. I believe we need the trans community represented in our churches, for their lives remind us about the complexity of human nature, a complexity that mirrors the nature of God, who, through creation, shows a delight in complexity."

Required reading for all Christian allies.

[Denise Sudbeck · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really a 3.5, full of a considerable amount of trans 101 material but some important queer/feminist theology if you're willing to sift it out. I read it looking for resources for clergy colleagues looking for intro theological works.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that is necessary for it did a plain-english processing. I almost gave it four stars but the last chapter did a great job of summarizing that any imperfections went away. At least, Chapter 5 can be copied and shared, along with the icon.

[Steven Asbill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book for a non-limiting perspective on God and how things don’t fall into a binary in Genesis. A little dry for me at times, but definitely a relevant discussion.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worth reading. This book gives us a fresh look at Genesis among other things.