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Tearing the Silence: On Being German in America
Ursula Hegi uses the art of the interview to see deeply into the personal histories of fifteen women and men as they confront at last the terrible and pervasive silence that made any mention of the Holocaust taboo in their homes and schools while they were growing up. For many of them this is the first time they've spoken of these memories and feelings. They share their pain with us, their guilt, their anger, and their compassion as they take us into the world of their parents and try to sort out the impact of the war on their own lives. The more specific these life stories are, the more universal they become.
Included in Tearing the Silence is Hegi's personal journey of leaving in Germany as an eighteen-year-old. She approaches the interviews as a novelist - not a historian - searching for the connecting themes within each story, and then lifting these themes to the surface by selecting significant material, much in the way she would write a story or novel. A huge difference, though, is that the words are entirely those of the women and men, who tell her about their lives with such amazing openness.
A skillful interviewer, Ursula Hegi focuses on understanding the character and story of the individuals in all their complexity. While some genuinely attempt to understand their cultural heritage and feel a deep responsibility to be aware of the Holocaust and pass that awareness on to future generations, others have stayed within the familiar silence that manifests itself in denial, evasion, justification, and an inability to mourn - not all that different from the response of their parents' generation.
Tearing the Silence contributes to a more complex picture of a time period we are still struggling to understand. It is a powerful and provocative account of post-Holocaust German immigrants in America, an important document of what it is like to grow up within the numbing silence of postwar Germany, a moving story of what it means to live between two cultures.
Included in Tearing the Silence is Hegi's personal journey of leaving in Germany as an eighteen-year-old. She approaches the interviews as a novelist - not a historian - searching for the connecting themes within each story, and then lifting these themes to the surface by selecting significant material, much in the way she would write a story or novel. A huge difference, though, is that the words are entirely those of the women and men, who tell her about their lives with such amazing openness.
A skillful interviewer, Ursula Hegi focuses on understanding the character and story of the individuals in all their complexity. While some genuinely attempt to understand their cultural heritage and feel a deep responsibility to be aware of the Holocaust and pass that awareness on to future generations, others have stayed within the familiar silence that manifests itself in denial, evasion, justification, and an inability to mourn - not all that different from the response of their parents' generation.
Tearing the Silence contributes to a more complex picture of a time period we are still struggling to understand. It is a powerful and provocative account of post-Holocaust German immigrants in America, an important document of what it is like to grow up within the numbing silence of postwar Germany, a moving story of what it means to live between two cultures.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1997
10 people are currently reading
386 people want to read
About the author
Ursula Hegi
27 books1,073 followersUrsula Hegi is a German-born American writer. She is currently an instructor in the MFA program at Stony Brook Southampton.
She was born Ursula Koch in 1946 in Düsseldorf, Germany, a city that was heavily bombed during World War II. Her perception growing up was that the war was avoided as a topic of discussion despite its evidence everywhere, and The Holocaust was a particularly taboo topic. This had a strong effect on her later writing and her feelings about her German identity.
She left West Germany in 1964, at the age of 18. She moved to the United States in 1965, where she married (becoming Ursula Hegi) in 1967 and became a naturalized citizen the same year. In 1979, she graduated from the University of New Hampshire with both a bachelor's and master's degree. She was divorced in 1984. The same year, she was hired at Eastern Washington University, in Cheney, Washington, near Spokane, Washington, where she became an Associate Professor and taught creative writing and contemporary literature.
Hegi's first books were set in the United States. She set her third, Floating in My Mother's Palm, in the fictional German town of "Burgdorf," using her writing to explore her conflicted feelings about her German heritage. She used the setting for three more books, including her best selling novel Stones from the River, which was chosen for Oprah's Book Club in 1997. Hegi appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show on April 8, and her publisher reprinted 1.5 million hardcover copies and 500,000 paperbacks. She subsequently moved from Spokane to New York City.
Hegi's many awards include an NEA Fellowship and five PEN Syndicated Fiction Awards. She won a book award from the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association (PNBA) in 1991 for Floating in My Mother's Palm. She has also had two New York Times Notable Book mentions. She has written many book reviews for The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and The Washington Post.
She was born Ursula Koch in 1946 in Düsseldorf, Germany, a city that was heavily bombed during World War II. Her perception growing up was that the war was avoided as a topic of discussion despite its evidence everywhere, and The Holocaust was a particularly taboo topic. This had a strong effect on her later writing and her feelings about her German identity.
She left West Germany in 1964, at the age of 18. She moved to the United States in 1965, where she married (becoming Ursula Hegi) in 1967 and became a naturalized citizen the same year. In 1979, she graduated from the University of New Hampshire with both a bachelor's and master's degree. She was divorced in 1984. The same year, she was hired at Eastern Washington University, in Cheney, Washington, near Spokane, Washington, where she became an Associate Professor and taught creative writing and contemporary literature.
Hegi's first books were set in the United States. She set her third, Floating in My Mother's Palm, in the fictional German town of "Burgdorf," using her writing to explore her conflicted feelings about her German heritage. She used the setting for three more books, including her best selling novel Stones from the River, which was chosen for Oprah's Book Club in 1997. Hegi appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show on April 8, and her publisher reprinted 1.5 million hardcover copies and 500,000 paperbacks. She subsequently moved from Spokane to New York City.
Hegi's many awards include an NEA Fellowship and five PEN Syndicated Fiction Awards. She won a book award from the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association (PNBA) in 1991 for Floating in My Mother's Palm. She has also had two New York Times Notable Book mentions. She has written many book reviews for The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and The Washington Post.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
November 26, 2017
Sad, informative and touching, being a German immigrant to Canada, the featured interviews deal with many issues close to my heart and thoughts. And thus, I do most highly recommend Tearing the Silence, but with the caveat that it is, or rather that it can be an emotional, even perhaps at times overly emotional reading experience. At least this turned out to be the case for me, as I could not finish Tearing the Silence in one go, some of the interviews brought tears to my eyes (and some of it simply and literally hit much too close to home). The only part of this otherwise excellent account I personally find rather lacking is the entire absence of interviews with individuals who immigrated to the United States not in the 50s and 60s, but in the 70s and 80s, as I definitely believe it would have been enlightening to also have been able to peruse conversations with immigrants who came to North America from Germany at later dates (like my own family, who immigrated to Canada in 1976 when I was ten) and to compare and contrast their (or rather our) ideas, feelings, experiences with those of earlier, immediately post-war immigrants.
August 29, 2007
The author of this book, Ursula Hegi, wrote the excellent novel Stones from the River, about a family in a village during the Holocaust. In this book, she interviews Germans who were born just after the war, who later immigrated to the United States, either as children or as adults. The interviews are lengthy and really give a picture of the person's life, and of what life was like for them or their family during the war. Those interviewed inevitably muse on what it means to be German, and that's what interested me the most. Highly recommended to anyone interested in either their own German heritage, or another angle on the Holocaust.
I find this quote from the book thought-provoking:
"I get irate about people in their comfortable lives, looking at history, judging people who supposedly did heinous acts, and assuming they would have behaved differently. We don't - any of us - know how we would behave in a situation until that situation hits us right between the eyes, and our children and parents are involved. Germany is not the story. It's what's in the heart of the individual human being. I will not accept or acknowledge the presence of an enemy. No person is my enemy. Each person is me.
Whatever happened in Germany is not isolated to Germany. That's what gets me so riled up. Yes, we have to study it...the problem I've seen in the literature is that it is looked at in terms of Germans and Jews. And I would like to see it looked at on a larger scale. If we're emphasizing a larger humanity, maybe that's what needs to happen to heal."
I find this quote from the book thought-provoking:
"I get irate about people in their comfortable lives, looking at history, judging people who supposedly did heinous acts, and assuming they would have behaved differently. We don't - any of us - know how we would behave in a situation until that situation hits us right between the eyes, and our children and parents are involved. Germany is not the story. It's what's in the heart of the individual human being. I will not accept or acknowledge the presence of an enemy. No person is my enemy. Each person is me.
Whatever happened in Germany is not isolated to Germany. That's what gets me so riled up. Yes, we have to study it...the problem I've seen in the literature is that it is looked at in terms of Germans and Jews. And I would like to see it looked at on a larger scale. If we're emphasizing a larger humanity, maybe that's what needs to happen to heal."
September 30, 2010
Very much expressed so many similar thoughts, observations and impressions I'd gained interacting with other Germans or those who consider Germany their homeland.
For those critics and not very well read persons who attack any and all things German based on Nazis actions during WW2, even blaming and hating descendants...by majority no one can be more critical and horrified and yes, guilt-ridden by what those who knew or suspected their parents or grandparents involvement with the murder of millions.
Like any child, grandchild or others connected to mass murderers, you feel the burden even if you had absolutely NO part of those person's behaviours or choices. You have to live with condemnation and censure which shouldn't be yours or should not automatically be assigned.
For those who continue to make assumptions about descendants, do us all a favour and read this book. It is heart rending the honesty and sincerity of these real people who told their stories. I, too, have felt the way they did (and continue to) many, many times.
For those critics and not very well read persons who attack any and all things German based on Nazis actions during WW2, even blaming and hating descendants...by majority no one can be more critical and horrified and yes, guilt-ridden by what those who knew or suspected their parents or grandparents involvement with the murder of millions.
Like any child, grandchild or others connected to mass murderers, you feel the burden even if you had absolutely NO part of those person's behaviours or choices. You have to live with condemnation and censure which shouldn't be yours or should not automatically be assigned.
For those who continue to make assumptions about descendants, do us all a favour and read this book. It is heart rending the honesty and sincerity of these real people who told their stories. I, too, have felt the way they did (and continue to) many, many times.
September 26, 2015
The interviews give a perspective on children born in the 40s and how their families and the war in Germany shaped their lives, their thoughts and who they are. As a German born later but with parents born in the 30s in Germany the stories of the individuals spoke to me and added different perspectives. They confirmed my experience that the German wars and any war impacts many generations to come and we often don't realize it until we grow up.
September 14, 2012
An oral history in the style of a Studs Terkel book, Hegi interviewed a dozen or so German-Americans who were born in Germany around the time of World War II.
Terkel turned me on to these kinds of books. When I overhear somebody bash somebody because of things like their politics, religion, race, gender or anything that would be considered "other" to the person doing the bashing, I think of books like this and the one by Terkel. I'm always amazed and impressed by people's diversity and finding out about their background and what might have shaped them into being the person they are.
That doesn't mean I always get along with people different than myself. Let's be honest here. But I'm pretty much always up for hearing somebody else's story.
In short, reading the interviews reveals some interesting commonalities (as well as some differences) among those who immigrated from Germany after WW2.
Terkel turned me on to these kinds of books. When I overhear somebody bash somebody because of things like their politics, religion, race, gender or anything that would be considered "other" to the person doing the bashing, I think of books like this and the one by Terkel. I'm always amazed and impressed by people's diversity and finding out about their background and what might have shaped them into being the person they are.
That doesn't mean I always get along with people different than myself. Let's be honest here. But I'm pretty much always up for hearing somebody else's story.
In short, reading the interviews reveals some interesting commonalities (as well as some differences) among those who immigrated from Germany after WW2.
June 18, 2010
Hegi clearly describes what it was like growing up German in 'America' post WWII ... I lived a lot of that ... as did the various men and women whose stories she included in her book. Great read ... a real validation that those times were not 'just my imagination' ...
March 31, 2012
A non-fictional collection of interviews with Germans who were children during or after World War II who then emigrated to America.
My Take
Oh, wow. An excellent and easy read with the interviews broken up into individual stories. This raised so many conflicting emotions within myself. I've always wondered how post-war Germans felt about what their parents did in the war. How they reconciled love for a family member with the horror of what that family member likely did in the war. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure they were just following orders… And, yes, I believe there was an atmosphere of terror that affected the average German. Enough fear that they hunkered down and did what they could to protect their immediate families, maybe friends. From their own government.
Almost all of them felt that they should not be held responsible for what happened during the war. And, how could they? They were children. That's like holding the children of a serial killer responsible for what he does.
Another points out that this genocidal behavior is not exclusive to Germans. That today we have the Bosnian, African, and Middle Eastern issues---and that's not an inclusive list. For all the guilt heaped on Germans (whether they were alive then or not), we certainly aren't doing much about the "ethnic cleansing" occurring today. In spite of the much better media coverage we have of the same type of atrocities. In some ways, we are as guilty as German adults in WWII. By our silence, we condone what's happening. And we don't have their excuses.
Yet another points up a similar human trait. That of a collective descent into brutality. Yes, some use this as an excuse to avoid responsibility, but others use it as a step toward understanding. Other interviewees mention that they are much more conscious of prejudice with their personal understanding of what it is like to be set apart, to be derided for being other. Some use this to excuse what happened---that they suffered, too. Others use it to understand.
So many talked of the good that Hitler did...no crime (who'd dare?), the Autobahnen… They are angry that Hitler lost the war. Not that he promoted genocide. Do they ever wonder about the good Hitler could have done if he had sunk his energies and the money into fixing their economy in a positive way? If he had the money to build the Autobahnen and manufacture armaments, he certainly had the money to invest in more positive products. It was Hitler's path, the one that everyone passively accepted that destroyed that Germany. But then, wasn't that part of the German psyche as well? To allow their "father" to tell them what to do?
Everyone talks about the awful fallout of the German surrender after World War One and how it destroyed the German economy. Well, that's one of the results of losing a war. Ya rolls the dice and ya takes yer chances. With the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, Austria-Hungary declared war and the Germans joined in as their ally. There have been many theories about the assassination being an excuse to expand their boundaries, and, knowing history, they are probably quite accurate. So I have no sympathy for the post-WWI Germany. It's sad that Wilhelm II lost his throne over it. Idiot. Hitler rose to power through his promises to fix that economy. But all he did was find a scapegoat. Someone he could blame for all their ills and allow them the excuse of hiding behind someone else. Not accepting their own culpability. Bullshit. It's that same non-acceptance that led to WWII.
Some of the interviewees talk about the abuses they suffered from their parents and it makes me wonder how much of the German culture of obedience and loyalty, of cleanliness and order, throve within my own family. It was the norm for children of my generation to be physically disciplined. Sometimes, I think we need a bit more of that back! But the extent to which so many of these parents took it...whoa. What part of that is German? Or is it a part of human nature? That need to hurt.
Interesting point Hegi makes about not seeing soldiers of other countries as soldiers. That only Germans were soldiers. Some others have peculiar conflicts. One man sees blaming one group of people for their ills as stupid and, yet, he also turns it around and feels the entire group that accepted being sent to concentration camps were stupid. Because he wouldn't be a sheep. Give me a break. Everyone is different. And everyone is the same. There are good and bad, brave and cowardly people in every ethnic group. It's not who you are as a nation or a country, but who you are as a person. As my niece would say when she was much younger: go away me from. I just don't want to deal with someone who is that much of an idjit.
One quote that made me feel better about some issues I can't forgive in my own life was from Eli Wiesel at the 50th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz when he prayed to the "God of forgiveness…[to]...not forgive those murderers of Jewish children…" Hegi mentions that "forgiveness is healing when it is appropriate, but only too often forgiveness is trivialized, misused." As though by saying someone is forgiven that you will automatically feel better.
Reading the life stories of these people made me so sad. Even leaving aside the "collective guilt", they have had a difficult personal life due to the psychological traumas of growing up in a war zone, surviving the abuses heaped on them by their own parents, the shunning for being Flüchtlings (refugees). All of which has caused many of them to be incapable of long-term relationships, trusting in others, finding a place for themselves whether it's emotional or physical. It's a unique look that causes me to wonder how other children caught up in war zones survive. The traumas they suffer that follow them throughout their lives.
All mention the silence. Oh, they each have a different story to recall as to how the "silence" manifested, but each has a different reason or excuse. It's enough to make me realize that they knew. Maybe not while it was occurring, but, eventually, they knew. A few hide behind this. Others...others acknowledge it in their own ways. One person's comment has stayed with me: "My father didn't care for Hitler at all. So there was a certain amount of silence. You just didn't talk about the war in the open." No kidding. When talking against Hitler would take you to a concentration camp…
Beate has an interesting story when she realized her mother did know more than she would admit. Then there's an interesting comparison between Catholicism and Nazism. Oh, to be fair, "Catholic" is simply a stand-in for any religion that rants on about how they are the only true religion.
Another good point. So many parents who did not tell their children what was happening. And that not knowing only made things worse for the kids as their imaginations would go into overtime coming up with scenarios that were actually worse than the truth. Parents. Kids know. Don't hide from them. You don't have to lay it out bluntly. You can always find a way to explain it in a way that makes sense. That works at their level. Just don't lie or refuse to talk.
Arghh, there's another interviewee who complains about her father not coming after her once he was released from a Russian prison camp. She claims she'd have moved heaven and earth to find her own child if that had been her. So, in spite of her father being told that his family had dumped him and run off to America, she still expects that he should have done all the running. She couldn't be bothered to make any effort of her own.
A scary observation raised by Sigrid when she points out that some Germans are ordinary people. "...that this can happen in a very ordinary way." That we need to recognize the capacity of humans to do evil and stay "alert to what can happen if government legitimizes or rewards evil by providing" the "proper" excuse. One interviewee is angry that some Germans make the excuse that others do it. She points out that "the thought-out, planned, organized, rationalized evil that makes it different from all those" makes it different. Yes. And no. Yes, it was a planned extermination sanctioned by the government. Yes, it's mind-blowingly...I can't think of a word horrible enough to encompass the thought behind this…! And no. It's not the only time a government has promoted such an extermination. Please, don't get me wrong. I am not trying to downplay the Holocaust. I just don't think it's right to blame the post-war generation for their parents' actions (or inactions) and reading these stories draws parallels to what is occurring TODAY in our own country and in too many others.
The scary point that several made is that our own country is heading down Hitler's path. Yes, it could be an exaggerated fear, but it pays us to be vigilant. To not allow a descent into such fear that we marginalize, inter into our own concentration camps the people we are pushed into fearing. Hitler used the stereotypes about Jews and the lousy German economy to create the Jewish scapegoat. Aren't we doing the same today?
Is it part of the human need to feel superior to others?
The Cover
The cover and the title are perfect! Omigod, they are soo perfect! The cover has a huge black rectangle covering most of a sepia-toned "black-and-white" simple collage of a row of people (you can just see their calves and dresses) and a little girl in pigtails with Hitler providing his Nazi salute behind her. I'm not sure what the sketch represents in the upper right corner. But that giant black "silence", the hulking representation of covering up, refusing to acknowledge what happened to the Jews in Germany is so evocative.
The title states exactly what Hegi intends with this book, Tearing the Silence. Diving under the denial, ripping away the veil of the refusal to accept the horrors perpetrated by Germans.
My Take
Oh, wow. An excellent and easy read with the interviews broken up into individual stories. This raised so many conflicting emotions within myself. I've always wondered how post-war Germans felt about what their parents did in the war. How they reconciled love for a family member with the horror of what that family member likely did in the war. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure they were just following orders… And, yes, I believe there was an atmosphere of terror that affected the average German. Enough fear that they hunkered down and did what they could to protect their immediate families, maybe friends. From their own government.
Almost all of them felt that they should not be held responsible for what happened during the war. And, how could they? They were children. That's like holding the children of a serial killer responsible for what he does.
Another points out that this genocidal behavior is not exclusive to Germans. That today we have the Bosnian, African, and Middle Eastern issues---and that's not an inclusive list. For all the guilt heaped on Germans (whether they were alive then or not), we certainly aren't doing much about the "ethnic cleansing" occurring today. In spite of the much better media coverage we have of the same type of atrocities. In some ways, we are as guilty as German adults in WWII. By our silence, we condone what's happening. And we don't have their excuses.
Yet another points up a similar human trait. That of a collective descent into brutality. Yes, some use this as an excuse to avoid responsibility, but others use it as a step toward understanding. Other interviewees mention that they are much more conscious of prejudice with their personal understanding of what it is like to be set apart, to be derided for being other. Some use this to excuse what happened---that they suffered, too. Others use it to understand.
So many talked of the good that Hitler did...no crime (who'd dare?), the Autobahnen… They are angry that Hitler lost the war. Not that he promoted genocide. Do they ever wonder about the good Hitler could have done if he had sunk his energies and the money into fixing their economy in a positive way? If he had the money to build the Autobahnen and manufacture armaments, he certainly had the money to invest in more positive products. It was Hitler's path, the one that everyone passively accepted that destroyed that Germany. But then, wasn't that part of the German psyche as well? To allow their "father" to tell them what to do?
Everyone talks about the awful fallout of the German surrender after World War One and how it destroyed the German economy. Well, that's one of the results of losing a war. Ya rolls the dice and ya takes yer chances. With the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, Austria-Hungary declared war and the Germans joined in as their ally. There have been many theories about the assassination being an excuse to expand their boundaries, and, knowing history, they are probably quite accurate. So I have no sympathy for the post-WWI Germany. It's sad that Wilhelm II lost his throne over it. Idiot. Hitler rose to power through his promises to fix that economy. But all he did was find a scapegoat. Someone he could blame for all their ills and allow them the excuse of hiding behind someone else. Not accepting their own culpability. Bullshit. It's that same non-acceptance that led to WWII.
Some of the interviewees talk about the abuses they suffered from their parents and it makes me wonder how much of the German culture of obedience and loyalty, of cleanliness and order, throve within my own family. It was the norm for children of my generation to be physically disciplined. Sometimes, I think we need a bit more of that back! But the extent to which so many of these parents took it...whoa. What part of that is German? Or is it a part of human nature? That need to hurt.
Interesting point Hegi makes about not seeing soldiers of other countries as soldiers. That only Germans were soldiers. Some others have peculiar conflicts. One man sees blaming one group of people for their ills as stupid and, yet, he also turns it around and feels the entire group that accepted being sent to concentration camps were stupid. Because he wouldn't be a sheep. Give me a break. Everyone is different. And everyone is the same. There are good and bad, brave and cowardly people in every ethnic group. It's not who you are as a nation or a country, but who you are as a person. As my niece would say when she was much younger: go away me from. I just don't want to deal with someone who is that much of an idjit.
One quote that made me feel better about some issues I can't forgive in my own life was from Eli Wiesel at the 50th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz when he prayed to the "God of forgiveness…[to]...not forgive those murderers of Jewish children…" Hegi mentions that "forgiveness is healing when it is appropriate, but only too often forgiveness is trivialized, misused." As though by saying someone is forgiven that you will automatically feel better.
Reading the life stories of these people made me so sad. Even leaving aside the "collective guilt", they have had a difficult personal life due to the psychological traumas of growing up in a war zone, surviving the abuses heaped on them by their own parents, the shunning for being Flüchtlings (refugees). All of which has caused many of them to be incapable of long-term relationships, trusting in others, finding a place for themselves whether it's emotional or physical. It's a unique look that causes me to wonder how other children caught up in war zones survive. The traumas they suffer that follow them throughout their lives.
All mention the silence. Oh, they each have a different story to recall as to how the "silence" manifested, but each has a different reason or excuse. It's enough to make me realize that they knew. Maybe not while it was occurring, but, eventually, they knew. A few hide behind this. Others...others acknowledge it in their own ways. One person's comment has stayed with me: "My father didn't care for Hitler at all. So there was a certain amount of silence. You just didn't talk about the war in the open." No kidding. When talking against Hitler would take you to a concentration camp…
Beate has an interesting story when she realized her mother did know more than she would admit. Then there's an interesting comparison between Catholicism and Nazism. Oh, to be fair, "Catholic" is simply a stand-in for any religion that rants on about how they are the only true religion.
Another good point. So many parents who did not tell their children what was happening. And that not knowing only made things worse for the kids as their imaginations would go into overtime coming up with scenarios that were actually worse than the truth. Parents. Kids know. Don't hide from them. You don't have to lay it out bluntly. You can always find a way to explain it in a way that makes sense. That works at their level. Just don't lie or refuse to talk.
Arghh, there's another interviewee who complains about her father not coming after her once he was released from a Russian prison camp. She claims she'd have moved heaven and earth to find her own child if that had been her. So, in spite of her father being told that his family had dumped him and run off to America, she still expects that he should have done all the running. She couldn't be bothered to make any effort of her own.
A scary observation raised by Sigrid when she points out that some Germans are ordinary people. "...that this can happen in a very ordinary way." That we need to recognize the capacity of humans to do evil and stay "alert to what can happen if government legitimizes or rewards evil by providing" the "proper" excuse. One interviewee is angry that some Germans make the excuse that others do it. She points out that "the thought-out, planned, organized, rationalized evil that makes it different from all those" makes it different. Yes. And no. Yes, it was a planned extermination sanctioned by the government. Yes, it's mind-blowingly...I can't think of a word horrible enough to encompass the thought behind this…! And no. It's not the only time a government has promoted such an extermination. Please, don't get me wrong. I am not trying to downplay the Holocaust. I just don't think it's right to blame the post-war generation for their parents' actions (or inactions) and reading these stories draws parallels to what is occurring TODAY in our own country and in too many others.
The scary point that several made is that our own country is heading down Hitler's path. Yes, it could be an exaggerated fear, but it pays us to be vigilant. To not allow a descent into such fear that we marginalize, inter into our own concentration camps the people we are pushed into fearing. Hitler used the stereotypes about Jews and the lousy German economy to create the Jewish scapegoat. Aren't we doing the same today?
Is it part of the human need to feel superior to others?
The Cover
The cover and the title are perfect! Omigod, they are soo perfect! The cover has a huge black rectangle covering most of a sepia-toned "black-and-white" simple collage of a row of people (you can just see their calves and dresses) and a little girl in pigtails with Hitler providing his Nazi salute behind her. I'm not sure what the sketch represents in the upper right corner. But that giant black "silence", the hulking representation of covering up, refusing to acknowledge what happened to the Jews in Germany is so evocative.
The title states exactly what Hegi intends with this book, Tearing the Silence. Diving under the denial, ripping away the veil of the refusal to accept the horrors perpetrated by Germans.
November 22, 2013
This was not an easy book to read. Some of the interviews I could not relate to. Those I did, tended to be women, especially the powerful women, who like the author, seem to have found a way to "break the silence". Sigrid, Gisela, and Katharina provided interesting food for thought.
The book is about being Americans, but having been born in Germany sometime during the later part, or after WWII. The author, well known for her best selling book "Stones From The River", was born in Germany, and was always struck by the silence with which Nazi Germany, the war, and the Holocaust were treated in their homes. She decides to interview fellow German Americans, and the results are interesting for the most part and eye opening for me. As an American born shortly after the war, into a world, I realize now, which was stilled burdened with the after effects of that turbulent time. I have been told by Dutch survivors and children born at this same time, that their homes were filled with silence as well. That void has been filled with fear and unsettling feelings for that generation, and reminds me of the silence the author and her interviewees speak of.
Some representative quotes that resonated with me:
"I get irate about people in their comfortable lives, looking at history, judging people who supposedly did heinous acts, and assuming they would have behaved differently."
"I'd like to see Americans look at what they did in the war. ...How many Americans know that chemical bombs were dropped during WWII? The Americans weren't blameless either. We have stories of soldiers coming through the town and raping the women, and it didn't matter if the soldiers were French, Russian, German, or American. War makes monsters out of everybody."
"If you create a distance between yourself and an other, then you're moving closer to the ability to do what the Nazis did."
" research and literature are beginning to discover that German offspring have that same survivor guilt that Jewish offspring have.....You can't know the truth unless you know both sides. It's important to tell the story of the Jews, but it's also important to know the story of the perpetrators."
The German Americans raise cautionary flags about dehumanization of others, hyper nationalism, and religious persecution as warnings of dangerous ground to tread on.
Thank you Ursula Hegi for bringing this conversation out, a conversation that has humbled me, and made me ponder my own actions and assumptions of the self righteous nature I have had about evil!
The book is about being Americans, but having been born in Germany sometime during the later part, or after WWII. The author, well known for her best selling book "Stones From The River", was born in Germany, and was always struck by the silence with which Nazi Germany, the war, and the Holocaust were treated in their homes. She decides to interview fellow German Americans, and the results are interesting for the most part and eye opening for me. As an American born shortly after the war, into a world, I realize now, which was stilled burdened with the after effects of that turbulent time. I have been told by Dutch survivors and children born at this same time, that their homes were filled with silence as well. That void has been filled with fear and unsettling feelings for that generation, and reminds me of the silence the author and her interviewees speak of.
Some representative quotes that resonated with me:
"I get irate about people in their comfortable lives, looking at history, judging people who supposedly did heinous acts, and assuming they would have behaved differently."
"I'd like to see Americans look at what they did in the war. ...How many Americans know that chemical bombs were dropped during WWII? The Americans weren't blameless either. We have stories of soldiers coming through the town and raping the women, and it didn't matter if the soldiers were French, Russian, German, or American. War makes monsters out of everybody."
"If you create a distance between yourself and an other, then you're moving closer to the ability to do what the Nazis did."
" research and literature are beginning to discover that German offspring have that same survivor guilt that Jewish offspring have.....You can't know the truth unless you know both sides. It's important to tell the story of the Jews, but it's also important to know the story of the perpetrators."
The German Americans raise cautionary flags about dehumanization of others, hyper nationalism, and religious persecution as warnings of dangerous ground to tread on.
Thank you Ursula Hegi for bringing this conversation out, a conversation that has humbled me, and made me ponder my own actions and assumptions of the self righteous nature I have had about evil!
April 20, 2015
The author had a clear agenda which was not actually supported by the book; all Germans must feel guilty and responsible for the extermination of the Jews and world war ll. especially children born during the war or right before it. The book was just a series of interviews with German people who were born around well and at some point emigrated to America. They really did not have a common core or sense of guilt and people who left Germany as adults were much different than those who left Germany as children.
What I really got from the book was the displacement of everyone in Germany at the time and how horrible and far- reaching war is. The war stayed with the people their whole lives. Many of the children remarked on the effect it had on their mothers and some their fathers. But many came to America with American step fathers or fathers. A lot of German men were killed.
The book produced some good discussion for the book club but I did not think it was well written and if the author wanted to explore guilt maybe she should have interviewed the parents of the children. They were adults during the war and could have (maybe) made different choices or saved some Jews, but I doubt it. Most people were just trying to survive and the exceptions were just that exceptions.
What I really got from the book was the displacement of everyone in Germany at the time and how horrible and far- reaching war is. The war stayed with the people their whole lives. Many of the children remarked on the effect it had on their mothers and some their fathers. But many came to America with American step fathers or fathers. A lot of German men were killed.
The book produced some good discussion for the book club but I did not think it was well written and if the author wanted to explore guilt maybe she should have interviewed the parents of the children. They were adults during the war and could have (maybe) made different choices or saved some Jews, but I doubt it. Most people were just trying to survive and the exceptions were just that exceptions.
February 3, 2016
Ursula Hegi moved to the US from Germany at the age of 18. She was born one year after the war ended, and she remembers vividly what her elders told her about those years. In her Introduction to the book, she states why she wrote this book, and how it helped her identify with her cultural heritage. With the title Tearing the Silence she makes her point very clear: Post-war German immigrants have stories to tell.
Hegi conducted interviews with post-war German immigrants in the US. Most of the stories were similar to her own: born and raised in Germany during, or after, World War II, and immigration to the United States before age 20. Some are children of SS officers, others are children of privates. Some live happy lives and do not focus on the past, others are haunted by what happened.
There are some great stories in the book--very thought-provoking. I was amazed at how some of the same phrases were repeated in all of the stories--even though the interviewees never met each other. Many were told that there parents "...never knew about the Holocaust", and others said "Germans suffered too..."
ETA: Read in grad school (ca. 2004) for an oral history project
Hegi conducted interviews with post-war German immigrants in the US. Most of the stories were similar to her own: born and raised in Germany during, or after, World War II, and immigration to the United States before age 20. Some are children of SS officers, others are children of privates. Some live happy lives and do not focus on the past, others are haunted by what happened.
There are some great stories in the book--very thought-provoking. I was amazed at how some of the same phrases were repeated in all of the stories--even though the interviewees never met each other. Many were told that there parents "...never knew about the Holocaust", and others said "Germans suffered too..."
ETA: Read in grad school (ca. 2004) for an oral history project
August 15, 2011
This is a series of interviews of German-Americans and their experience post WWII here is USA. I found them more about their personal lives than really dealing with the issue and I didn't find the title was fulfilled. That said, it was sad to me how many of these folks had had to deal with issues of alcoholism, abuse, divorces and real issues around relationships. It did show how devastating the War was on the next generation. The final summary of the author was helpful in sorting out the bigger picture.
August 21, 2013
What shadows does WWII cast over Germans who were children at the time? What effect does moving to the United States have on their identity? From a variety of interviews, one learns individual stories. Thought provoking book which leaves one wondering what one's own life would have been like in similar circumstances. Well written.
August 15, 2009
Having grown up with a German mother this book gave me insight into her and therefore my upbringing. I also made me appreciate how far my Mom came in assimilating to the American culture. An interesting read.
September 10, 2017
Let me start with a rather long quote from the introduction.
Born in 1946, I grew up surrounded by evidence of war--bombed out buildings, fatherless children, men who had legs or arms missing--yet when I tried to ask questions, my parents and teachers only gave me reluctant and evasive answers about the war. Never about the Holocaust, "We suffered, too," they would say. It is an incomplete lens, but it was held up to many of our generation as the only lens to see through. if our parents had spoken to us about their responsibility for their actions or lack of action during the war, if they had grieved for the Jews and Gypsies and homosexuals and political prisoners who were murdered, and if then, in addition to all this, they had told us, "We suffered, too," their victimhood would have become part of the total lens.
Taken by itself, it is flawed. Incomplete. A lie.
What they tried to create for their children was eine heile Welt--an intact world. What was their motivation? guilt? Denial? Justification? The desire to protect the next generation? Perhaps all of these. But their silence added to the horrors of the Holocaust.
After a thoughtful and thought-provoking introduction, she goes on to interview fifteen other children of her generation who--like her--emigrated to America after the war. Some had childhood memories of the war; some did not--but all were haunted by it, in visible and invisible ways. And all shared the loneliness that seeps out from silence.
It was brave of her to disturb the ghosts, but I'd expect nothing less from the author of Stones From the River. Not everyone she interviewed was admirable or likeable or even slightly interesting, be we have something to learn from them all.
April 7, 2021
This was an interesting book about the experiences of German-Americans who were born during or shortly after WW2 and then moved to the US, either as children or as young adults. The author has a theory that German-American immigrants share the shame of the holocaust and interviewed other German-Americans to explore that issue. However, based on the varied stories and perspectives, I don't think that she actually proved that point. Although there were some common themes between some of the stories, every person's experience was different. I wondered if some of the alienation and lost feeling reported in some of the stories is also true for any immigrant landing in a new country, for example.
Still, the individual stories were interesting, especially for those who had recollections of surviving during the war and just after. Also, there were many insights about how German women and children were expected to behave and glimpses into German culture. As the daughter of a German-American woman, I found some insights into my mother and how she behaved.
Still, the individual stories were interesting, especially for those who had recollections of surviving during the war and just after. Also, there were many insights about how German women and children were expected to behave and glimpses into German culture. As the daughter of a German-American woman, I found some insights into my mother and how she behaved.
May 21, 2023
German immigrants, born between 1939 and 1946, describe growing up in America after experiencing the war and it's aftermath. Some were accepted unconditionally, some were shunned and called Nazis. All were affected in some way during their school life and choices made later in regards to their path in life. Overwhelmingly, the parents of these immigrants did not want to discuss the war with their children. Answers were hard to get. Some parents were members of SS and regretted Hitler losing. Some lost everything, their farms, their livelihood, some deny the killing of Jews and concentration camps. Even though these children knew they were not responsible for what happened, their cultural heritage played a big role in their lives.
January 28, 2025
This is an amazing book. I remember being very impressed reading Stones From The River many years ago although I have not read any of her other books since then.
I found these stories overwhelmingly sad and her conclusion in the end was interesting to read after hearing the many voices. It was helpful to read it in it’s entirety quickly to keep the sense of it flowing, a tapestry of words expressing so much variety yet similarity of experience.
Any war is awful but particularly WWII and the nazi régime which has to stand apart from all others in it’s particular and focused & extensive cruelty towards humans, the other.
We are all the other at one time or another, eventually they will come for us.
I found these stories overwhelmingly sad and her conclusion in the end was interesting to read after hearing the many voices. It was helpful to read it in it’s entirety quickly to keep the sense of it flowing, a tapestry of words expressing so much variety yet similarity of experience.
Any war is awful but particularly WWII and the nazi régime which has to stand apart from all others in it’s particular and focused & extensive cruelty towards humans, the other.
We are all the other at one time or another, eventually they will come for us.
July 21, 2022
Fascinating life stories and perspectives from German-Americans born in Germany during/shortly after WWII. Their experiences and conclusions vary wildly, and the presentation benefits for each being left to tell their own story (some are admittedly disturbing for their views).
I can’t help but think how valuable it is to have the courage to tear the silence as some of these people did, and as we have not yet done (collectively or large groups of individuals) with regard to slavery in the United States.
I can’t help but think how valuable it is to have the courage to tear the silence as some of these people did, and as we have not yet done (collectively or large groups of individuals) with regard to slavery in the United States.
May 24, 2025
The author, like me, is the child of parents who grew up in WWII Germany. Although the author is strongly anti-NAZI, kept her options as she interviewed a host of Germans who were adults during WWII. Some were full of regret while others barely hid their still pro-NAZI ideology. A fascinating study of human experience during extreme times. Excellently researched and well written, but not for everybody. For the reader curious about people during these historical events.
June 15, 2023
Glad I found this book! Growing up in a very German community in Southern Minnesota I rarely had to deal with post WWII animosity. My Parents, Uncles and Aunts all spoke German at family gatherings, but no one talked about what it meant to be of German heritage and we never celebrated it.
December 8, 2023
This book is a massive disappointment. The intro chapter is a decent high-school level essay — but the rest is a waste of time.
Instead of reading this book, I suggest watching the German film “Das schreckliche mädchen”.
Instead of reading this book, I suggest watching the German film “Das schreckliche mädchen”.
April 14, 2020
This book was powerful. After reading it I gave it to a friend of mine whose parents had come to the US from Germany after the war.
July 6, 2010
After reading all the interviews in this book, my greatest take-away was that people just aren't as impacted by their country of origin as much as they are by their families. I sensed that the author, Ursula Hegi, was hoping to draw some clear themes regarding the impact that German ancestry has on post-WWII German immigrants to the United States. However, the people she interviewed seemed to regard their Germany ancestry as mere background music compared to the more influential factors in their life: Mom and Dad. What this said to me was that a strong family can help a child overcome almost anything.
February 25, 2016
I first read about this book in a newspaper review. I wanted to read the book so that I could understand my own family, most importantly, my mother. She was born in 1935 in a very small farming village in Germany. She immigrated to the US in 1952 when she was 17. This book helped me understand how the German people felt about WWII and what they were told about the war when they were growing up. This book had many different thoughts & views of people and our societies that I had never considered before. At the same time it offered a realistic view into the lives of people born during and after WWII.
July 30, 2011
A very brave and touching compilation of interviews of German/Americans born at the end of or immediately after World War II. Even though most of those interviewed came from very different circumstances, they all have similar themes to the influences in their lives.
By their own account, they are quite serious, precise, hardworking....they acknowledge struggling with collective guilt or guilt over the lack of guilt. They all profess some level of denial.
As the interviews make clear the effects of the Holocaust were far-reaching and impacted ever German and their children.
By their own account, they are quite serious, precise, hardworking....they acknowledge struggling with collective guilt or guilt over the lack of guilt. They all profess some level of denial.
As the interviews make clear the effects of the Holocaust were far-reaching and impacted ever German and their children.
April 26, 2015
A poignant look at German children of WW2 that immigrated to the United States. It's often brutally honest, traumatic and engaging stories are hard to read but important to read. Mixed in the truths are lessons about complacency, idol worship and obedience. The author, Ursula Hegi, did a fine job of balancing voices and stories. I have always wondered about "German shame" but had not read any books on it. The collection of stories in this book explores that theme extensively, even as the storytellers speak of pride and love (or indifference) for their homeland.
August 26, 2010
I read this because Ursula Hegi wrote "Stones from the River", one of my favorite books of all time. This book is her exploration, through interviews, into what it means to grow up German in America, having been born in Germany during or just after WWII. Of the people she interviewed most all talked about dealing with the profound silence in their homes, schools and communities regarding the holocaust--and how they individually came to understanding of it. This is an interesting book.
May 26, 2012
Interesting perspective on the impact of WWII events on the lives of German kids born during or after the war that ended up emigrating to the US. Doesn't really add any enlightenment to what it was like to live through the war or after the war, it is more about the angst of being German and dealing with the stereotypes hoisted on them by non-Germans. Still, it's interesting to get 1st hand individual perspectives.
November 11, 2015
I am not a big Ursula Hegi fan (I did NOT like Stones from the River) and this book exhibits some of the same dead horse beating and reader underestimation that SftR did. However, if you are at all interested in this topic (maybe only people who are or who know German postwar immigrants), you will find this book eerily on target and fascinating. Hint: Only skim the last few interviews, which she already summarized in her intro, and skip the repetitive and condescending final chapter.
May 2, 2013
The oral histories were very well edited, to saddening and frightening effect. Collectively, they look at questions of nationalism and cultural transplantation and transformation mostly from the complex perspective of the subjects' inner lives and family relations. Also from a predominantly, although not exclusively, liberal perspective. While valuable, as well as very readable, this feels like a somewhat incomplete book because it offers only light analysis of the interviews.
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