The Gutfeld Monologues: Classic Rants from the Five

by Greg Gutfeld

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

A dynamic and annotated collection of Fox News star and New York Times bestselling author Greg Gutfeld’s sharp, hilarious monologues on everything from politics to pop culture—updated with new commentary for the current day.

“Wherever I go, I am hit repeatedly by the same where can I read your monologues? It should be easy to find these little nuggets of knowledge.”

Well, now it is.

In the past few years, Fox News host Greg Gutfeld has covered everything from crazed academics, to unhinged celebrities, to the wildest election in recent history on his shows The Five and The Greg Gutfeld Show . In The Gutfeld Monologues, he brings together his best and favorite monologues in this funny, unconventional collection for new and longtime fans alike. Scored through with marginal edits, scratch-outs, 20/20 hindsight, and up-to-the-minute commentary on what he got wrong, this book isn’t your grandmother’s anthology collection.

With his signature humor, wit, and insight, Greg explains it all in this memorable collection about some of our country’s most crucial—and not so crucial—modern moments.

Genres: Nonfiction, Politics, Humor

304 pages, Hardcover

First published July 31, 2018

About the author

Greg Gutfeld has been called "outrageous and outspoken," neither of which he denies. A libertarian political satirist, humorist, magazine editor and blogger, he is perhaps best known as the host of the Fox News Channel program "Red Eye With Greg Gutfeld." Airing at 3 a.m. ET Tuesday through Saturday, the show covers a variety of topics, including news, entertainment, sports, and gossip. Gutfeld is also a host of FNC's "The Five," a weekday program at 5 p.m. ET.

The Weekly Standard calls him "the most dangerous man on television." According to the magazine, unlike other media darlings, "Gutfeld's stuff actually is subversive, a stink bomb hurled into every faculty lounge, mainstream newsroom, movie studio, and nonprofit boardroom in America."

Prior to joining Fox, Gutfeld was a staff writer at Prevention and editor-in-chief of Men's Health magazine. He later became editor-in-chief of Stuff, where he increased circulation from 750,000 to 1.2 million and created controversy month after month. He helmed Maxim magazine in the U.K., and was a contributor to the Huffington Post, where he became legendary for his "inspired, lunatic ridicule of his leftwing fellow Huffers." He's been published in countless magazines, has appeared in too many profiles to mention, and was only fingerprinted once.

He currently blogs on his own site, The Daily Gut, as well as Big Hollywood.com, where he writes about the news and pop culture of the day, from a conservative libertarian humorous slant. He's appeared on dozens of TV shows, as a regular on "The O'Reilly Factor," while also stopping by on Dennis Miller's radio show and spots on "Opie and Anthony."

Reviews

[Jeanette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Says a lot all told and great masses of it are spot on. But it's too frenetic for my taste. He has an extremely wide context to associated ideas put into monologues that may core on related defined particulars but at the same time are framed within a 1000 other Greg Gutfeld experienced or of cultural USA historic tangents.

This works live and in stand up comedy much better than in print, IMHO.

His ideas at the finale of the sets are often brilliant, but it's the laugh track style and fast but jumpy tv sit. com. rhythms of snark and joke or pun line that gets real old with me quickly.

This editing style with the conversational boxes set within the margins and between the "straight" copy of regular print monologue quotes- all the annotations' placements? I'm not a fan of that either.

Actually most of the ironies are lost to me to be honest in any kind or category of ridicule, snark, or frenetic quip "hilarity" style of so called satire at all- not just Gutfeld's. And not just in political posits either. His best comparisons are to the staunch rungs of the Democratic party's onus positions just 10 or 12 years ago and what they "are" today. And the foolishness and ignorance of the formerly liberal to see where this pc, mean, and rigid redefining within and off identity politics cliffs have lead them. Most times, nearly opposite from what it was no more than a decade ago- and far, far left of what the American public equates as any "norm" economic or social policy possible reality for their lives of any desired practice. Americans citizens want and love their free speech and good intent proclivities as core and prime. Scorn, shunning and disdain arrogance are not going to play. They want work and achievement, not cozy place superiority dictates.

This gives you some of his best stuff of analysis though within prime definitions that have become "redefined" and also for some political posits of historical irony and their present consequences. And yet, IMHO, those who grew up in the 1980's (USA) "get" more of the cultural mode or era related trivia asides and enjoy them more than I did. Or at least, think they ring funnier than they do for me.

He's twitchy. And that does come out in this writing as well as his speeches and commentaries.

[Terry Cornell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I watch 'The Five' every day during lunch--so I've heard Greg deliver most of the monologues in the book. Great to see his favorites in print, so they can be savored. The extra bonus is his present day related notes and reflections. The book is broken into topics, then in each chapter the monologues are in chronological order. This is another one of those books, that reveal how and why Trump was elected. Gutfeld is my favorite commentator on our current culture and politics. If you've never heard him or read him he's sort of like a modern day Mark Twain--but maybe not. They're both very unique in their writing styles.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I discovered Greg Gutfeld on the Fox Channel’s, The Five. I now enjoy watching him twice with his own show on Saturday evening. Just when you think you have him figured out he surprises you with a different point of view. Most of his book deals with politics. This book is funny and timely. His fans will love this and it’s a great introduction to his humor for new readers.

[Bill Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Greg is great at taking an intellectual look at today’s American political stew and wrapping it up in a humorous, but deadly accurate analysis. His humor is a bit odd, but it grows on you. And don’t let the humor fool you; he’s a seriously smart guy. If you’re a fan of The Five, The Greg Gutfeld Show or Red Eye – you’ll love this book! Great work Greg!

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Greg Gutfeld is brilliant. Buy his book. Period.

[Rich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, I love Greg, even though he repeats himself, says the same thing over again, and is a bit repetitive. Yes, you need to read the book to get that.
I enjoy his sense of humor, however bizarre it might be, but it’s his brutal honesty, regardless of how he comes off, that is truly refreshing.
This is the best if his monologues, critiqued by himself. Definitely worth the read.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book Greg takes his monologues from his show, divides them into different chapters based on content, and adds his current thoughts on them. I thought the book was interesting and a good read, but at times words on the page just aren't as good as when Greg says them himself on TV. I did like the additional commentary he gave, especially when he would make fun of something he said, but I didn't care for the coarser language used (sparely, but it was still there). All in all, I think if you enjoy watching Greg on the Five or the Greg Gutfeld show, you'll enjoy reading this book.

4.5 stars

[Douglas · Rating 3 out of 5]

This wasn't a bad book, but it's not really a universal book. Much of Gutfeld's barbs and humor in this book are directed at the powerful Left from the mid-Obama presidency to the election and just the beginning of the Trump presidency. I suppose the mitigating factor is that Gutfeld loves to direct barbs at himself almost as much as he does on those whose policies or beliefs are exposed as foolish. There are good points, but much of the book comes across as a group chuckle amongst the like minded, "Heh. Look at those crazy lefties," and less as an attempt to convince the other side.

As I used to watch Red Eye I tend to enjoy Gutfeld. But in that show he would show little mercy to any side that appeared ridiculous. This book felt far more one-sided. So it's an entertaining book with excellent points, but I'm not going to convince anyone opposite me if I use this as a debate tool, that's for certain.

[Frank Schwarz · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable read, though the written form of the monologue has a slightly different impact from the spoken form. (Hey, what do I know?)
I will attempt to read Mr Gutfeld's prose, as I expect it to be informative and entertaining. His Saturday TV show is enjoyable. He comes across as the kind of person who you'd like to sit down with and have a drink or two with, and discuss just about everything (except unicorns and robots).
Recommended because it is, in places, laugh out loud reading.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like Gutfeld's humor and social commentary, then you will enjoy this book. Don't expect anything new if you watch "The Five" and the "Greg Gutfeld Show" This book really is a collection of past Gutfeld Monologues. Even so, I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to laugh over politics and our societies craziness.

[William G Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Author

Greg is a very clever person and combine that his superior intellect you
get e. Great book and good entertainment

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it! I went to see Greg on his tour and I had not read the book yet, oops. Greg is a libertarian with so much common sense!

[Dwain Minor · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was fun to read Greg’s Monologues from The Five. If you like him from the Five, then you’ll like the book.

[Carol]

Loved it - his writing; AND he makes me laugh -- OUTLOUD!

[Mori K · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an anthology of Greg Gutfeld's best monologues. In addition to the monos themselves, it includes present-day insights.
To say the least, I enjoyed this book. It nicely connects a lot of Greg Gutfeld's best monologues which were delightful to read. If I had to give one critique, I would say that I would have liked the monologues to be broken up a little more. After a while they became a little too ongoing for me. Nevertheless, I would recommend this book to any fans of Gutfeld, his TV shows, or the news channel he is a part of.

[Ash Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I adore Greg Gutfeld. I’ve adored him for a long time. Actually, since the “Red Eye” days. His sarcastic political snark brings great joy to my life.

That being said, you’ll need to be a Gutfeld fan to enjoy this book. If you haven’t watched him live before, if you haven’t seen any of these monologues on “The Five”, if you don’t understand his sense of humor, and if you lean politically to the left, then you probably won’t care for this book too much.

But for me, I’ve read his previous four books, and this is definitely my favorite so far. And it looks like I’m not alone, as this is his highest rated book on goodreads as well. I always enjoy his books, but they usually just don’t compare to watching and hearing Greg on tv at all. This one does.

He takes different monologues of his from “The Five” throughout the years and groups them into categories, which are the chapters. Then he writes an intro to each chapter, and at the end of each chapter, he writes a “Where Are We Now” closing statement.

The best part is throughout each monologue, he’s annotated with blue boxes and blue thought bubbles with things he’s thought of since he originally wrote the monologue. Things that have changed, things he predicted, things he was totally wrong about, things he loved and is still patting himself on the back for saying, things he wishes he hadn’t said at all - he spares no punches, even to himself, and it’s amazing.

The only negative thing I was honestly going to say about this book is that sometimes the monologues all put together on the same subjects like that got kind of repetitive, but then in the books’ conclusion, he completely and totally made fun of that himself! “One thing I learned from editing this book - [I] learned that I am repetitive. I repeat things. Also, I tend to say the same things again and again, but formulated in different ways.” He goes on to explain that on tv, that makes a lot of sense. Most people don’t watch “The Five” every single day. But in a book, it’s really noticeable how often he repeats himself. Sooo I can’t really hold that against him when he pointed it out himself at the end of the book, and full on made fun of himself for it.

I obviously don’t always agree with Greg politically. In fact, I was way more with him when, (as he states at the beginning of the book), during the 2016 election, he used to hate Trump and was a Rubio guy. I was all in with him back then. Although I think Greg and I are similar in our feelings now about Trump’s policies, and at least Greg still doesn’t seem to like anything about him as a person, I would say that Greg and I are not totally aligned anymore on how we feel about Trump. (Also, as I write this, John McCain has just been buried, and John McCain is a personal hero for me as well as a national one, so the things Trump has said about McCain, alone, are unforgivable to me personally, and Greg even mentions in the book he, himself, being past those now.)

I would say that on paper, sometimes Greg’s wisecracks can seem like they go too far and are a little cold, when I don’t feel that they come off that way as much when he delivers them on tv.

But I still laughed so hard I cried while reading this book and, as I said, overall, it is definitely my favorite Gutfeld book thus far. The whole idea behind it of taking these monologues of his from the last 5-10 years, and then grouping them together and annotating them himself in only the way that Greg Gutfeld can, is just awesome. If you’re a Gutfeld fan, you’ll love it!

[Todd G · Rating 4 out of 5]

So Gutfeld and I tend to agree on most things which is why I like the guy. I enjoy watching him on FoxNews in both “The Five” and “The Greg Gutfeld Show”. He is blunt, says what’s on his mind, is sometimes crass but he does tend to hit the nail on the head nearly every time he opens his mouth. I found it rather nice to read a collection of his monologues because if I could have said all he said somehow and not be attacked or fired from my job I’d do it in a heartbeat. He manages to see the world without blinders, viewing both left and right for why they really are (it so happens the left seems to giving Gutfield so much more low hanging fruit).

I gave it 4 stars because I feel it was too short. Perhaps in the future there will be a part 2. I guess it’s too much to ask my right and left friends to read this....I mean I feel it would open their eyes a bit. It might make my friends pretty angry...then again maybe then they’ll actually start to think somewhat more on an even, middle of the road keel.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted a light political audiobook listen and enjoy Gutfeld's writing, so I picked this up, and it was better than I expected. It's pretty unique for a political commentator to go over their old work, as most of them assume their predictions and commentary will never be revisited, which already makes this an interesting work.

The monologues themselves are only 80 seconds long, since they need to fit on a cable TV show, but well-written and funny. Like a less intelligent version of Thomas Sowell's "random thoughts," but with more alliteration and unicorns. Gutfeld's commentary on his own past writing is also fun. Admitting mistakes, "I told you so"s, and other ruminations all add positively to the book in content as well as helping with pacing.

Audiobook note: The monologues themself are read by another narrator, with Gutfeld's commentary on them interjected before, during, and after. It's kind of a weird juxtaposition, but I got used to it after the first 30 minutes or so.

[Alex Shrugged · Rating 3 out of 5]

This audiobook takes a little getting used to. The Preface is narrated by Greg Gutfeld and is excellent. The rest of the audiobook is narrated by G.N. Young with comments interspersed by Gutfeld. The back and forth change in voices is a little jarring, so I dropped a star on my rating, but once I got used to it, it was OK. Nevertheless, no star.

This is a collection of past political/cultural, generally conservative commentaries Greg Gutfeld made on Fox News' "The Five" with some minor edits, but he promises he did not change the wording simply because he was wrong from time to time. He is willing to admit when he was wrong and points it out in this book.

For those practicing modesty, the author occasionally uses vulgar language, sexual references and strange absurdities. If you have read anything from Greg Gutfeld or watched his show "Red Eye" then you already know what you are going to get.

I doubt I will read/listen to this book again.

[Aaron Ash · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why did I give it the rating: * "did not like it"
This is a book of monologues from his television show. They were fine, but not especially well written. He had some good one-liners, but for me it doesn't work as a book.

Why I decided to read this book:
I heard an interview with him on Ben Shapiro's podcast.

Favorite character:
Trump?? (not really a character book)

How does this compare to other works by this author:
I doubt I'll read anything else by him.

Who would I recommend read this book:
No one comes to mind.

Quote(s):
"Worse: College teaches you to love yourself. Take the current novelty of identity as achievement, which values 'being' instead of 'doing.'" - There were some quality insights in the education section. We should all be talking more about this. But nothing was well explored.

[Justin Reeder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great review of ones own monologues! Greg Gutfeld presents himself as a comic, the fool if you will, amongst most other brilliant political thinkers. But his perspectives and logic are astounding! Love the way he cuts into the BS from a lot of puesdo smart ideologues with straight fact, and a touch of snark. These monologues show a diverse range, covering topics from Sex, Campus Idiocies and Terror. As well, the repetitive nature of his points one could bemoan but if something is accurate, does it really hurt to mention it regularly? Having perspective, especially when working in TV, helps one see how they're being received, where their shtick isn't working and how to improve. All political analysts could help with this type of re-analyses of their work. Top notch read from an insightful and hilarious man!!

[Tonja Condray Klein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another Crazy Romp in Gutfield Land!

This is the third book I’ve read by Greg, and it was just as enlightening, energizing, and endorphening (I claim this word for now!) as his other two. Satire with honest intelligence and wacky entertainment is hard to come by right now. In the ‘Age of Trump’ that I’m loving in spite of the Leftist-Horde, this book is a welcomed respite to political idiocy that makes me want to hire the A-Team. My 87-year-old Mom watches your show and says, “He’s just crazy sometimes!” She loves your rants as much as I and my husband do. Keep on keeping it real, Bro, and don’t let the Left take your unicorns away! LUV YA BUNCHES IN JESUS WITH HUGS! 💖TK😊 www.eirinth.com

[George Cunningham · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing. What works on TV, doesn't necessarily translate to the page. Clips of political talk and witty commentary becomes both redundant and dated when compiled in an anthology. Gutfeld tries to get around this with little balloons commenting on his original comments and short passages where he looks back and analyises what he said two or three years ago, but it just doesn't work. He is a funny guy, whether you agree with him or not, but he should have just started from scratch and written a book about the state of the world without trying to do a verbatim rehashing of his old stuff.

[Brian Bergen-Aurand · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted this book to be humorous. I have enjoyed Gufeld's work on RED EYE, but here he composes an entire tome without any appeal.

The most accurate sentence in the entire book comes when Gutfeld states, without celebrities, "I would have to write about something else--like geopolitical issues--which would suck, because I don't know anything about that crap." Unfortunately, he then goes on in the very next chapter to demonstrate how right he was in his own self assessment.

Next time, Greg, stick to your wheel house.

[Thomas Bell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish Gutfeld had a little cleaner language, but other than that I found this book absolutely wonderful. Gutfeld does a good job stating the obvious in a way that makes you think. I do agree with much of what he says, of course, but I imagine most people that don't aren't ever going to read his book.

With that said, I found myself picturing him saying the things in his monolouges, and that just made me laugh. Absolutely hilarious book.

[Mama K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific, no-bullshit collection filled with facts and logic---so liberals, of course, will by hate...or not get it BECAUSE it contains facts and logic. Because here stupid things are protested. For one example, as Gutfeld points out in one entry, "feminists" here are more worried about "the oppression of armpit shaving" than Iraqi women sitting in jail for defying the law-enforced wearing of hijabs.
Think about that....

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love GG but I was originally going to give this book 3 stars. It wasn't that interesting reading his old monologues and at first his criticism was similarly uninteresting. But the second half of the book is much better because he goes a little deeper, points out where he's calling it in, repeating himself, not making sense. I liked that type of critique even better than the critique of his arguments.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably my favorite of Gutfeld's books I've read (maybe because his dirty jokes are kept to a minimum?). He has my respect for admitting he was completely wrong about the 2016 Election and then going on to critique his past monologues. It's classic, hilarious Gutfeld, and the audiobook makes it that much more enjoyable.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just adore Greg Gutfeld and his use of all words. Especially when he repeats himself or says the same thing in a slightly different way... ;-) Seriously he says what he sees and since he is truly a fan of no one, I find his thoughts fun, insightful, unbiased and refreshing. Hope he does another of these some years down the road.

[Alijo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my plane book for a trip. The people sitting next to me probably thought I was a psychopath from the random laughing coming from me. Nobody can use common sense, sarcasm along with humor all at once. I’ve always loved his monologues on The Five and The Greg Gutfeld Show. About time he puts the best ones in one collection.