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The Things We Can't Undo

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There’s no backspace key for life’s decisions.

Samantha and Dylan are in love – everyone knows it. So it’s no big deal when they leave a party for some time out together. But when malicious rumours surface about that night, each feels betrayed by the other.

Will Sam make a decision she can’t take back?

345 pages, Paperback

Published May 1, 2018

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69 people want to read

About the author

Gabrielle Reid

3 books20 followers
Gabrielle Reid is an English-born Australian writer of contemporary fiction, primarily Young Adult. She lives near Lake Macquarie in NSW with her three children and is a current PhD candidate in creative writing at the University of Newcastle. Her first YA novel, The Things We Can't Undo, ​was released in May 2018 and won the 2019 Australian Association of Family Therapist's Award for Children's Literature. Her second book, a short story collection, is set for release in November 2021.

Common themes in Gabrielle's work include navigating difficult relationships (family, friendship, romantic and sexual relationships), grief, school life, and mental health. She considers herself a progressive feminist with a heavy dose of empathy for the different perspectives and personalities in a situation.

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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
36 reviews4 followers
February 7, 2018
Gabrielle Reid is another wonderful debut Australian young adult author, who has produced an incredible and topical novel. Written from the alternate perspectives of two teenagers in love, Sam and Dylan. Imagine, first, Sam the daughter of strict Asian parents who want the perfect student daughter. NO BOYS! Then secondly, Dylan, who thinks of himself as a nice guy madly in love with Sam, who he has been with for a year. They get together at Sam's urging in a bedroom at a party and Dylan thinks this is it, and so they do it. Dylan is happy but Sam seems upset and leaves the party without talking to anyone. Soon rumours of rape circulate and without ruining the story everything quickly escalates until it becomes far bigger than you could ever imagine.
With themes of consent, sexual assault, suicide and social media at the core of this story, it is hugely relevant in today's teenage world and I highly recommend it both as a classroom discussion opener or just a fabulously intriguing good read for YA's 15 and older.
Profile Image for Kirra.
516 reviews19 followers
June 2, 2018
The Things We Can’t Undo was a fantastic book that explored a difficult situation so well and examined the details from both sides of a twisted scenario. The book is told from the perspective of Samantha and Dylan, two teenagers in a year-long relationship that decide to take the next step with their relationship and have sex one night at a friend’s party. After that night, word spreads through their school and Samantha is understandably upset from it. She is not only very worried about keeping the secret of their relationship from her very protective parents, she is also left wondering, did she really want to have sex that night and worse, was it really consensual?

In this book, there is love between a lot of characters and fierce possessiveness from friends involved in the situation but there’s also the dark subject matter of rape. This isn’t a crystal clear situation of rape though because it’s between two teenagers who are dating and both virgins but Samantha was also never completely 100% sure about the situation but not able to speak up about it and she never actually said yes. This is an important distinction because rape isn’t just the horribly aggressive and disgusting scenario of a violent person forcing themselves onto someone. Sometimes it’s two people that are very in love and together and one person doesn’t actually want to go down that path but maybe they do because they think they shouldn’t object or they think it’s not a big deal to just let it happen even if they aren’t ready, a concept that some young people may not understand the difference and importance between.

Although the story is difficult and it made me so mad for all the people involved in what was happening it was also a compelling young adult novel that I didn’t want to put down. I truly enjoyed reading this book because I liked the characters, the layout of the book was really cool and I think it’s always great to have more books discussing this subject in an open way, especially when it’s resolved at the end like it is in this book. It was also another great addition to the story because the book was mostly told from the perspective of Dylan, a teenage boy, and you can see that he really doesn’t intend to hurt Samantha and doesn’t understand the situation either until he learns consent.

I loved the journey we went on throughout this story and where it ended because it was a completely foreign situation to me but I could really connect with the characters and feel their pain and confusion. I think it will also be compelling to the younger readers that do read it because it’s set in a really refreshing and easily read format or some chapters being in instant messaging or diary form and social media accounts and posts too. I definitely recommend reading this book to readers that are older than sixteen years old or feel they’re comfortable reading about the situation and anyone interested because it really is a great book. I was absolutely glued to this book whenever I had the chance to read it and so invested in the characters.

(Thank you to Gabrielle Reid for sending a copy of her book for an honest review and as part of the blog tour. The Things We Can’t Undo is out in Australia on the 1st of May!)
Profile Image for Sarah Fairbairn.
Author 4 books35 followers
August 27, 2018
I was a little shell shocked upon finishing this book. I was captivated from beginning to end and the book is terrifically done, but it does deal some heavy hits. The story highlights and deals with: mental illness, suicide, rape, (what is) consent, friendship, and the importance of communication. While also touching on: social media (the possible backlash and dangers), parental pressure and expectations, social pressure and expectations, cultural pressures and expectations, underage drinking/parties, dating and first times/loves.

Yep heavy stuff! But Gabrielle Reid has done a brilliant job of containing it all in a captivating story and format that discreetly educates. It is set in present day Sydney and told in the duel POV of Dylan and Sam. The story is told using the inclusion of diary entries, text messages, forum messages and twitter feeds from the characters. I really enjoy it when authors do this as part of the story telling. It seems to be the in thing to do, very now and I love it. Gabrielle has, not only told a good yarn with an important message, she has created a time capsule of how the world is now, not unlike how Puberty Blues is a time capsule for the late 70’s.

I think this book could be a great tool/way to get teens talking about consent. Both main characters were easy to connect with and I found I could relate to both on some level. Yes, the mother in me wanted to jump into the pages at times and shake the crap out of some of the characters, but that was mainly Sam’s parents.

I have two sons, yes itty-bitty babies now, but one day they will evolve into hormone fuelled monsters and I hope I can instil in them the knowledge and understanding necessary to make sure the scenarios in this book never happen to them or someone they care about.

Well Done Gabrielle Reid! an emotional, yet fantastic debut read.
1 review
July 3, 2018
This young adult novel ticked all the boxes for me. It was enjoyable and engaging to read, it dealt sensitively with its important themes in a way that was respectful of the reader, and its teenage characters were authentic and believable. I read this book as a parent, and there is so much in it for parents of modern teenagers who are navigating a world that is very different from the one we grew up in. I would recommend this book unhesitatingly to teenagers, parents of teenagers, and librarians. Would not be surprised at all if this book becomes a modern YA classic along the lines of 'Looking for Alibrandi'.
Profile Image for claud..
830 reviews74 followers
July 22, 2020
In a nutshell, this book just rubbed me the wrong way.

The main thing about this book is that it is mostly written from Dylan's perspective. I thought this was going to be a dual narrative but Sam dies a third of the way into the book. The rest of her POV is written through letters, flashbacks, text messages, etc., while the prose is all Dylan's.

Let's get this out of the way: I don't have a problem with the idea of a book mainly told from the "rapist's" point of view. I understand that this was the main point of the book: that in a lot of cases, rape doesn't happen with an intent to rape someone--sometimes there is just a lack of understanding of what consent is, which I think is what this book was trying to tell us.

However, my main problem is this: it did not really have any constructive, substantial, or significant conversations about consent. Nowhere in the book did it say that the absence of a no does not mean a yes. Consent was touched on, but it was mostly characters debating about "well, Dylan and Sam loved each other so how could it be rape," etc, etc. It was still about the idea of consent, but it wasn't constructive nor did it bring about any concrete answers for the characters or the readers to think about. This book mostly just focused on how the rumours and protests and the conflict within friendships affected Dylan, which isn't a bad thing in itself, but the fact it didn't focus that much on consent in my opinion, was what I didn't like.

I hated how the only major character that was (rightfully) angry about the "rape", Tayla, was portrayed as dramatic, tactless and embarrassing. Maybe Reid was trying to make a point about people who, in theory, care about rape survivors but don't talk about it in a sensitive manner, but having the only other characters who stood up for or cared about Samantha without being insensitive be anonymous (the members of the message board and FrenchFry who goes to the same school and is also a survivor) was also something I didn't like.

Another thing that rubbed me the wrong way was Samantha being Chinese-Australian. Yeah, I know, representation is important, but I felt that this rep was only used to justify why her parents were so strict and so hard on her over schoolwork. Not all Asian parents are strict and not all strict parents are Asian. This depiction is just so tired and overused, if not racist. Samantha was also submissive, shy, and quiet, which for me just plays into the stereotype of Asian, particularly East Asian women being depicted like that. The fact that she dies a third of the way into the book anyway was also meh for me, so this is one of those rare cases where I feel I would've liked it better without the representation. Just because it's there doesn't mean it's good.

The bottom-line is: Dylan had to, albeit unintentionally, do something bad to his girlfriend and have her die by suicide over it so he can go through his journey of redemption or learning. There's an issue with female characters suffering or being used simply as plot devices so that male characters learn and improve their behaviour, but what a lacklustre journey. Again, I don't have a problem about a book from the perpetrator's point of view, but going back to one of my previous points, the book doesn't really bring up any substantial conversations about consent, and it doesn't show Dylan clearly realising why what he did was wrong. There was no one to hound him, "well, did she say YES? Just because she didn't say no doesn't mean she said yes. This was rape, Dylan. Here are the other reasons why it constituted as rape. While you didn't have the intention of doing that to her, you have to process this in a healthy manner and this is how you can make sure you never do it again." The closest thing this book had to that was Hazel talking to Dylan, but again, it wasn't anything substantial to me. Instead it just showed him dancing around whether or not what he did was rape, denying it over and over because she didn't say no or fight back, etc. A great thing would've been him confessing to someone that he read Samantha's letter about how she didn't consent, but that was another missed opportunity.

Overall, I was extremely disappointed with this book because it had potential to be a good and promising novel about consent and how the people we love can still be capable of hurting us. This book could've had Sam alive and speaking and process the inner conflict within her, how she's angry at Dylan but still loves him at the same time, and Dylan processing what happened and realising not just the fact that he made a mistake but why it was a mistake. Instead this book focused mostly on how the community and their peers sensationalised the whole thing, how it affected their friendship groups, and Dylan's life at home. I know the author was trying to make several points but it was just poorly executed to me.
Profile Image for Ely.
1,435 reviews114 followers
January 16, 2019
please note this review will be discussing rape and the surrounding culture. if you’re uncomfortable, please click away!

I don’t even know where to start with this review. The Things We Can’t Undo is an incredibly moving book. It’s going to make you think. It’s going tear your heart into a million pieces. It’s going to have you screaming ‘no’ at the pages. Basically, it will break you.

In the way, the story is kind of familiar. Even if you’ve never experienced anything like what Sam and Dylan go through. There’s usually a golden couple at school, and there’s always a back and forth ‘he said, she said’ thing going on at some point about something or someone in the school. With everything going on with the #MeToo movement, stories like these are coming out from people all over the world. It breaks my heart that anyone has to go through this, but until it stops, we need books like The Things We Can’t Undo to keep talking about rape culture.

Recently I’ve read a few books about rape culture, both fiction and non-fiction, but this one is completely different to anything I’ve read. Firstly, the majority of the story comes from Dylan’s perspective and that was incredibly interesting to me. I won’t lie—I hated Dylan, even without the rape. His personality just rubbed me up the wrong way. I did really appreciate how Gabrielle wrote his character though—I can see how he could be kind of sympathetic. He keeps telling us how he loves Sam, but I just couldn’t see it personally. As a result of his big part in the narrative, we rarely hear from Sam, which is one of the reasons why this story is pulled off so well. We know a little of how she feels, but we don’t see the whole picture straight away. I absolutely loved that aspect of the story.

In a few ways, this really reminded me of Asking For It. While it’s definitely a different take on rape culture, there’s that same inclusion of social media, which plays such a big part in real life so I love that aspect. However, The Things We Can’t Undo focuses more on the responses to Dylan being accused rather than Sam’s experiences. While I would have loved to have seen Sam’s story, this definitely stands out for anything else I’ve ever read.

Like all stories discussing this topic, this is not an easy book to read. In fact, I really struggled to get through certain parts and sometimes had to put the book down for a number of days before I felt mentally ready to pick it up again. While incredibly moving, this is definitely one you are going to need to mentally prepare for.

All in all, The Things We Can’t Undo is an important story and definitely one to add to your TBR!
Profile Image for Laura.
376 reviews21 followers
June 23, 2018
A raw, honest depiction of the reality of depression in teens. It tells the story of Samantha and Dylan, who are planning on having sex for the first time. But that one action could destroy everything.

Written from the point of view of Dylan, with Facebook and instant messages, letters from Sam and other documents, it is cleverly crafted to slowly piece the whole story together.

How can one decision change absolutely everything? Read to find out 😉
Profile Image for Eugenia (Genie In A Book).
392 reviews
April 24, 2018
An emotional and thought-provoking read about the issues of consent and what happens when rumours spread out of control. Author interview post coming up on the blog soon!
Profile Image for Philippa Mulqueen.
102 reviews1 follower
November 1, 2020
I'm a bit torn between 3 and 4 for this. I've read the critiques of the Asian girl trope of pressure from parents and inability to voice own opinion and there's truth in those critiques...yet but whether we like it or not that is still a reality for many Asian girls even if the numbers are decreasing. I agree that Dylan's awareness is muted but feel there are some promising things in his responses eg when the new girlfriend asks if he raped his girlfriend his response is 'I don't know ' and this was credible. Again, when he is about to have sex for the first time he checks explicitly more than once that she wants this too. I found this promisingeven if I was a bit surprised he was already moving on. I liked that when he was trying to understand his girlfriend going silent after the party, he and his older sister had a thoughtful conversation about consent and sex even if for some reviewers the conversation didn't go deep enough.

The thing is he was an ordinary 16 year old having to rethink a night he'd found special and struggling to see his actions and attitude fitting the usual connations of rape or rapist. To me that was realistic. Despite the fact that social media and school friends have a real go at him because Tayla proclaims him a rapist and later a murderer he does seem to make a remarkable recovery which may or may not be realistic..or is it saying guys/the rapist get off more lightly in such situations than the girl/victim.

So the book got me thinking but would it get boys / young men thinking and talking about consent and what it looks and feels like, especially when you think you love each other? Is it just another book that will get girls exploring this important issue but miss the mark because most of the other half of the equation won't start it, finish it or feel called to grapple with the unrecognized face of rape.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Paul Collins.
Author 255 books92 followers
January 5, 2019
Title: The things we can’t undo
Author: Gabrielle Reid
Publisher: Ford St Publishing
RRP $19.95
ISBN 9781925736045
Used with permission from Judy Rankin

In light of the #metoo movement, The things we can’t undo is a topical story all teenagers could benefit from reading.
The story tells of two teenagers in love as they explore their first sexual encounter. What makes this story interesting is it gives the perspectives of both the main characters that have very different interpretations of the events. Added to this are other people’s stories, experiences and interpretations of the facts as they are revealed. The way Gabrielle Reid has conveyed the innocence of the characters and the fall out that comes from the lack of clear communication makes both an interesting and provocative read. It will push the readers to ask themselves, ‘what would I do?’, ‘how would I respond?’ and possibly even choose a side through the story. What is so easily perceived as a natural rite of passage in a relationship can have an unforeseen consequence. This story is one that will be conversation promoting for those on the cusp of adulthood.

Profile Image for Abbie Cini.
2 reviews
May 7, 2018
The Things We Can’t Undo is an emotional and eye-opening novel about the decisions we can’t take back and the effect they have on the people around us.

Samantha is sixteen and her biggest fear is disappointing her protective parents. She has been dating Dylan for almost a year and they take the next step in their relationship.

The story is told from the perspectives of Sam and Dylan. Unsent letters and instant-messaging conversations reveal that they experienced the same night differently. Samantha plays back that night and questions whether she felt she had a choice to take that next step. Word spreads throughout the school, rumours escalate and brutal opinions spread on social media.

Gabrielle Reid’s powerful debut sensitively tackles a difficult issue. It makes an important and much-needed distinction that challenges stereotypes. The characters are so beautifully written and I was truly invested in them.
9 reviews
May 21, 2018
I would recommend this book for a more mature audience. It explores interesting themes and issues in society, such as what consent means, and what makes up a successful relationship. The book showed real poetry, and demonstrates how people's words and feelings can get confused in a way that can cause people to make mistakes.

Mistakes are the root of this book. How people treat one another can start with good intentions, but can end up with people taking different things the wrong way. It highlights the importance of double checking and triple checking in matters of consent, and what people really want.

There are some trigger warnings, so I will say that if you have experienced or been a victim of sexual assault in the past, it might be a good idea to skip over this particular book. I enjoyed the way different issues were handled.
Profile Image for Deb.
4 reviews6 followers
May 25, 2018
There’s nowhere to hide as a reader of this book... first few pages we meet two teenagers in love, first full sexual experience and two completely different reactions which tear their world apart. The premise is a set of circumstances which engages the reading audience into the world of teen relationships, teen depression, teen friendship dynamic, cultural perspective, parental expectation... in a way that is so well written it is astounding! The events of this book are raw... this is definitely somewhere between senior student - YA - adult fiction and I know I am going to have difficulty deciding whether to keep it in open circulation in my school library... much to think about before deciding.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
7 reviews1 follower
March 23, 2018
This was a incredible book from a new Aussie author. The Things We Can't Undo is a book I would recommend for young adults and adults alike. The characters face some incredibly difficult but entirely relevant issues faced at the cusp of adulthood and the aftermath of decisions that can't be undone. Reid (no relation) has written an incredibly powerful novel that is relatable and realistic and I would highly recommend you grab a copy!
1 review
April 28, 2018
Full disclosure. This is not my normal genre of book to read. I read it because I know who the author is. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it since it’s not the sort of book I normally read.

But I was absolutely hooked on this book. It is a well written, believable and engaging story that deals with difficult issues in an outstanding way. For days after reading it I found myself wondering how the characters were going now and had to remind myself it was a work of fiction.
Profile Image for Sandra.
798 reviews2 followers
May 16, 2018
A young adult novel dealing with depression, suicide, social media and the elephant in the room - was it rape or sex with consent? Sam and Dylan have been secretly dating for nearly 12 months. Sam loses her virginity with Dylan. Due to the pressures of her Asian parents, Sam spirals into despair, with disastrous consequences.
523 reviews1 follower
August 2, 2018
What a book!! I literally could not put it down. It had so much controversy, heart felt emotions & schools I did not see coming. Oh my goodness this is a tremendous book but definitely not an easy read
13 reviews
August 25, 2019
I rate this book 4 stars. this book is amazing and the rape and suicide parts of this book are written amazingly. I also like how the author explained the aftermath and hiw hard it is for rape survivors to talk about it. the author puts so much emotion into this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Bethany.
306 reviews
August 24, 2019
A good (and timely) read for young people (and their parents) making decisions about actions, reactions, relationships, consent, social media, and truth.
23 reviews
October 4, 2019
Amazing!!! The author did such a great job on such a tough subject. Highly recommend.
Profile Image for Louise Goodwin.
41 reviews
February 18, 2020
Great book for teens to teach about what consent means and more responsible use of social media
Profile Image for Bec.
86 reviews9 followers
May 16, 2018
✔ POPSUGAR Reading Challenge: A book about Mental Health ✔
Read this one for review - was actually super engaging! The issue of consent is such an important topic, particularly for young people, so this book did a great job at highlighting the nuances and maintaining sympathy for both sides, in such a sensitive way.
Profile Image for Sofia Casanova.
Author 1 book46 followers
April 20, 2018
The Things We Can't Undo is a Australian YA contemporary that is gripping and damn relatable in its storytelling. Much like other contemporaries set in high school, I was taken on a journey back in time dealing with present day issues. But what made The Things We Can't Undo unique? The subject matter and how well it was handled.

Full review to come!  
Profile Image for Simran.
62 reviews25 followers
December 20, 2018
This book had me hooked from the start. From the way the characters voiced themselves to the way the book was set up, it was all very addicting. It's definitely a sensitive book and has some suicide, sexual assault and self-harm triggers. It isn't exactly a light read but it was an enjoyable book.
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