L'amitié

Ancient Wisdom for Modern Readers

by Robert Combes (Translator), François Prost

Le De amicitia, l'un des derniers traités de Cicéron, s'inscrit dans une tradition de réflexion dont il ne nous reste avant lui que les témoignages de Platon et d'Aristote. Mais Cicéron écrit pour son temps : au lendemain de l'assassinat de César, il définit l'amitié à la fois d'après les concepts grecs et en fonction des conditions sociales et politiques de la vie romaine, avec l'intention d'en faire le fondement d'une renaissance de l'esprit républicain.

Genres: Philosophy, Classics, Nonfiction, Friendship, History, Psychology, Self Help

158 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 46

Reviews

[Valeriu Gherghel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Un tratat compus de Cicero în anul 44 î.e.n. și destinat, firește, prietenului său Atticus.

Laelius. De amicitia e numai în aparență un dialog. Schema narativă e următoarea: Caius Laelius a vorbit cîndva despre prietenie, Mucius Scaevola a ținut minte discursul lui și i l-a repetat lui Cicero, care l-a așternut în scris și i l-a expediat inevitabil prietenului său, Atticus. Nu insist. Și nu are rost să ne întebăm cine a vorbit la origine, cui aparțin în realitate opiniile cu privire la înțelepciune, la soartă și întîmplare, la eternitatea sufletului, și, în fine, la prietenie (= o relație afectivă bazată pe virtute și adevăr).

Am notat trei pasaje, am pus și originalul latin:

- „Fiecare poate spune cîte capre şi câte oi are, dar nu poate spune cîţi prieteni are; capras et oves quot quisque haberet, dicere posse, amicos quot haberet, non posse dicere” (XVII: 62).

- „Trebuie să iubeşti după ce judeci, nu să judeci după ce iubeşti; cum iudicaris, diligere oportet, non, cum dilexeris, iudicare” (XXII: 85).

- „Virtutea (și numai ea) leagă şi păstrează prieteniile... De aici ia naştere fie iubirea, fie prietenia, căci amîndouă îşi trag numele de la „a iubi”; iar a iubi nu e nimic altceva decît a-l preţui pe cel pe care-l iubeşti, nesilit de vreo lipsă şi neurmărind vreun folos; Virtus, virtus ex quo exardescit sive amor sive amicitia; utrumque enim dictum est ab amando; amare autem nihil est aliud nisi eum ipsum diligere, quem ames, nulla indigentia, nulla utilitate quaesita...” (XXVII: 100).

Rămîne să ne gîndim cu un alt prilej dacă Cicero (și anticii, în general) au avut cu adevărat o noțiune de iubire apropiată de ceea ce înțelegem astăzi prin acest cuvînt. Din tratatul ...De amicita” nu rezultă nici o sugestie. Menționez în treacăt că Marcus Tullius Cicero a avut (succesiv, desigur) două neveste, dar nu pare să fi iubit excesiv pe nici una dintre ele.

Traducerea aparține lui Aristotel Pîrcălăbescu. Menționez traducătorul fiindcă anticariatele și librăriile virtuale îl trec cu vederea.

P. S. În Trubadurii, Henri-Irénée Marrou afirmă că tratatul lui Cicero l-a influențat pe Bernard de Clairvaux în descrierea iubirii față de Dumnezeu.

[Riri · Rating 3 out of 5]

"این مردمان از دوستی چیزی را میخواهند که خودشان نمیتوانند بدهند. به هر روی قولی است درست که نخست خودت انسانی نیک باش و سپس در پی انسانی مشابه خود بگرد با مردمی این چنین داشتن آن نوع رابطه دوستانه ای که از آن سخن میگویم به مراتب آسان تر است.
وقتی چنین انسانهایی در نیک خواهی به هم می پیوندند نخست بر امیالی که دیگران را به بندگی کشیده چیره میشوند و سپس از عدل و انصاف لذت میبرند و از هیچ کوششی برای یکدیگر دریغ نمیدارند.
آنها هرگز از همدیگر جز آنچه شرافتمندانه و درست است چیزی نمیخواهند. آنها نه تنها یکدیگر را عزیز میدارند و به هم عشق میورزند بلکه برای همدیگر احترام نیز قایل اند.
اما از آنجا که روابط انسانی شکننده و زودگذر است باید همواره به دنبال کسی باشیم که دوستش بداریم و او نیز دوستمان بدارد زیرا که اگر محبت و خیرخواهی از زندگی رخت بندد تمام خوشی آن از میان میرود."

[Mónica Cordero Thomson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perfecta reflexión sobre la amistad, sus orígenes, sus cualidades, lo bonito que aporta, los falsos amigos,...Escrito hace más de 2000 años y de vigente actualidad.

[Alp Turgut · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cicero’nun "Yaşlı Cato" eseriyle beraber kaleme aldığı "Dostluk Üzerine", ele aldığı konu itibariyle dostluk değerleri üzerine oldukça besleyici bilgiler barındıran başarılı eserlerinden biri. Akıcı dili ve kısalığı sebebiyle oldukça rahat bir okuma sunan kitabı okurken sevgi, güven ve yaşam temalarını odak noktasına alan Cicero, oldukça anlamlı noktalara parmak basıyor. Yazarın kesin göz atılması gereken eserleri arasında.

05.05.2018
İstanbul, Türkiye

Alp Turgut

http://www.filmdoktoru.com/kitap-labo...

[Miles Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a new and easily available translation of Cicero's *De Amicitia* which I've reviewed elsewhere. I really want to brag about the book format and presentation, which is exquisite. Latin and English text are paired so its easy to quote from, and its worthwhile to compare the two texts. Overall this is simply a marvelous series and Princeton University Press has done everything right.

[Mohammad Ali Shamekhi · Rating 3 out of 5]

نمره ی واقعی: دو و نیم

* کیکرو در باب دوستی چه می گوید

کیکرو در این کتاب کوشیده است به گونه ای انضمامی دوستی ای بر مبنای فضیلت را طرح ریزی کند. انضمامی بودن طرح کیکرو به دلیل توجه او به احساسات و صد البته ضعف های انسانی است. او همچنین به جنبه های مدنی و اجتماعی نیز نظر دارد - مثلا همکاری با دوستان در طرح های ضداجتماعی را رد می کند. خصلت عمل گرایی رومی نیز در او دیده می شود، بحث را با اکراه می آغازد زیرا این باریک بینی ها را کار فلاسفه ی یونانی می شمارد؛ همچنین کاتو را بر سقراط برتری می دهد زیرا سقراط سخن می گفت ولی کاتو عمل می کرد

خلاصه ی حرف او این است که اصل در دوستی وفاداری و ثبات است و این محقق نمی شود مگر در فردی فضیلت مند - زیرا فرد ریاکار، متلون، و ... نمی تواند ثبات و وفاداری را تأمین کند. از سوی دیگر فضیلت سرآغاز دوستی است زیرا آدمی با دیدن فضایل خود در فرد دیگر، به سمت او کشیده می شود - او بر همانندی دوستان تأکید دارد. اما فضیلت نقشی دیگر هم در دوستی دارد: فضیلت غایت دوستی است؛ زیرا آدمی تا به پشتوانه ی دوستی پیش نرود نمی تواند فضایل را آنگونه که شاید و باید در خود محقق کند. پس فضیلت هم پدیدآور دوستی است، هم حافظ آن و هم غایتش

* من و این کتاب

بی بروبرگرد کتابی تکان دهنده نیست. با وجود تلاش کیکرو برای انضمامی بودن، به نظرم برای نگاه امروزی ما دیدگاه های او هنوز انتزاعی اند- مثلا نگاه سفت و محکمی که به فضیلت دارد. به نظرم افلاطونی گری او در دوستی - یعنی صرفا به دنبال ثبات بودن - تفکر او را زیادتر از آنچه باید صلب کرده است

متن ترجمه هم قابل فهم و قابل استفاده بود

[Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Real friendship cannot be the child of poverty and need."

[Chris Marr · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my my top ten re-reads each year and it reminds me about the importance of friendship and helps recalibrate myself in terms of how I’m keeping I’m touch with friends. There’s so much in this short essay, and one of my favourite quotes that I keep coming back to is “Among friends, always listen to the counsel of your wise companions. True friends should give failthfil advice to each other, not only with frankness but with sternness if necessary. And that advice should be heeded.” Perhaps there’s no better time than the end of 2020 to read about how to choose friends, maintain great friendships, and figure out what true friendship really is.

[Tim Floyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cicero summarizes friendship as nothing more than an “agreement with goodwill and affection between people about all things divine and human.” In his assessment of human companionship he establishes the following qualities of friendship:

*There are different kinds of friendships
*Only good people can be true friends
*We should choose our friends with care
*Friends make you a better person
*Make new friends, but keep the old
*Friends are honest with each other
*The reward of friendship is friendship itself
*A friend never asks another friend to do something wrong
*Friendships can change over time
*Without friends, life is not worth living

Possibly my favorite reflection, and most applicable to my present situation is when Cicero says that we “ought to select friends who are steady, firm, and dependable. The problem is that it is difficult to determine who has the desirable qualities of a friend without trying them out. And the only way to try them out is to be their friend. Thus friendship runs ahead of judgment and removes the possibility of a trial period.”

Cicero speaks of the value of love and respect for oneself as the foundation to any future friendship. Even with self love and respect, the risk of putting yourself out there to be loved is a high price that can often lead to a tremendous love-debit. Cicero says that in friendship, “unless you see an open heart and reveal your own, you’ll have nothing certain or trustworthy. You won’t know the pleasure of truly loving or being loved, since you won’t know what true love is.”

The love and support that comes from true friendship is irreplaceable and essential to a joyful existence.

[Asclepiade · Rating 5 out of 5]

L’ultimo periodo della vita di Cicerone, che costrinse l’oratore ad un otium forzato, fu estremamente fecondo di opere filosofiche, quasi come se il grande Arpinate presentisse oscuramente l’imminenza della propria fine; la quale, d’altro canto, sarebbe arrivata senza dubbio parecchio tempo dopo, se la prudenza politica lo avesse dissuaso dallo scagliarsi contro Antonio con le Filippiche: se non che domandare a Cicerone di ritirarsi dall’arena politica sarebbe stato davvero pretendere troppo: romano, e romano d’età repubblicana sino nel midollo, egli sentiva la necessità dell’agone politico come dell’aria che respirava: il λάθε βιώσας epicureo gli era estraneo e gli sonava ripugnante, prima che a causa d’una generale disistima verso la filosofia del Giardino, proprio per la radicale diffidenza verso la vita politica attiva che tale visione del mondo comportava. Ma il Nostro era nemico anche della vita eremitica: proprio in quest’opera Lelio tesse l’elogio del vivere in società, del potere stare in mezzo agli altri; anche il ritiro nell’otium cum dignitate fu sempre, per Cicerone, allontanamento non dalla comunione con le persone care, ma solo dal tumulto e dai pericoli del foro. Che un pensatore “sociale” come l’Arpinate desse gran rilievo all’amicizia era quindi pressoché inevitabile: ma, per quanti modelli e antigrafi di trattati e d’elogi dell’amicizia si possano ipotizzare alla radice di quest’operina, giusta l’immagine ormai quasi ovvia, tant’è ripetuta, del Cicerone “filosofo senza originalità” che “copia tutto dai greci”, non si riuscirà mai a negare in modo convincente che concetti e argomentazioni desunti dalla trattatistica stoica o peripatetica fossero poi rifusi entro un insieme forse qua e là un po’ incoerente, ma sicuramente anche romano in modo genuino e palese. Non solo gli esempî allegati dal grande oratore sono in gran parte desunti dalla storia dell’Urbe, ma anche l’insistenza di Lelio su temi come il rapporto tra amicizia e favori politici o amicizia e schieramenti partitici ed elettorali si richiama in modo diretto e ovvio alla situazione romana sia del tempo di Lelio stesso sia, e molto di più, dell’età di Cicerone, squassata dalle guerre civili cui perfino l’ordinamento dello stato non sarebbe sopravvissuto. Sebbene tali problemi restino alquanto lontani dalla vita di noi moderni, a meno che non c’impegniamo in politica, vi sono tuttavia molti settori della rapida e un po’ disordinata riflessione messa sulle labbra di Lelio che possono dettare suggerimenti anche all’uomo d’oggi nei suoi rapporti interpersonali; Cicerone guardava bensì al proprio tempo, ma l’amicizia appartiene alla natura dell’uomo, e quel che di valido e di duraturo se ne poteva dire nell’antica Roma resta una forma di saggezza che non tramonterà mai. E i modelli d’amicizia eroica, tratti dal mito e dalla storia greca, dovrebbero far presa, per la loro universalità, su lettori d’ogni tempo e luogo. Ecco perché non capisco l’abbondanza di commenti negativi o annoiati che su quest’opera leggo in giro; o forse il lettore medio ai nostri giorni è tanto abituato a romanzi gialli, romanzi dell’orrore, romanzi fantastici pieni di cose incredibili, che di fronte al ragionare placido e sommesso di Lelio, o meglio di Cicerone, non riesce a percepire più tutto il sapore di questa prosa e di queste verità. E invero la prosa del Laelius è, va riconosciuto, meno appariscente, meno spettacolare, meno commovente di quella che rende tanto ammirevole il Cato Maior de senectute, redatto pochissimo tempo prima; ma è pur sempre prosa di Cicerone. E qui mi si consenta un invito a quei due o tre lettori che capiteranno a gettare un’occhiata su questo mio scritto senza pretese critiche di sorta. Non mi tolgo dalla testa che la scarsa stima per molte opere latine o greche da parte di tanti lettori venga dall’averle conosciute solo in traduzione; non perché le traduzioni siano scritte male: anzi, per lo più sono eccellenti; ma perché in una traduzione, anche fatta in una lingua vicina per tanti versi a quelle classiche qual è l’italiano, molto o poco va perduto: e secondo me per Cicerone va perduto molto. Fu solo leggendo in greco un autore ritenuto di solito come un prosatore, quando va bene, mediocre come Aristotele (in realtà l’Aristotele essoterico era uno scaltrito stilista: ma di questo ci rimangono solo frammenti), che riuscii a capire appieno quale potenza sia insita nell’uso del µέν e del δέ nel porre in evidenza i passaggi logici: ma di tale finezza linguistica chi legga il testo dello Stagirita in traduzione non ha la minima consapevolezza. Ecco, anche la perfezione architettonica della frase di scrittori come Isocrate o Cicerone riesce in qualche modo dimidiata e offuscata nel passaggio a un’altra lingua: paradossalmente, l’oratoria più spezzata e nervosa di Demostene viene a soffrirne meno. Quindi l’invito è: cari amici, leggete Cicerone in latino, e lo apprezzerete meglio, lo capirete di più in tutto il suo valore, in tutte le sue sfaccettature; magari alla fine gli vorrete anche un po’ di bene: se non come uomo, certamente come scrittore.

[Manuel Alfonseca · Rating 3 out of 5]

ESPAÑOL: Otro buen diálogo de Cicerón, que habla de la amistad por boca de Cayo Lelio, el amigo íntimo de Escipión el Africano. Veamos algunas de las citas más señeras para mí:

Se hacen en verdad odiosos los que sacan a relucir sus favores; quien los recibe debe acordarse de ellos, jamás quien los haya dispensado.

Algunos hacen poco agradable la amistad pensando que se les menosprecia; aunque esto, por regla general, sólo ocurre con los que se creen despreciables.

Al que adula descaradamente, nadie que no sea tonto dejará de descubrirle. Pero ¡cuán peligroso es el que lo hace solapadamente y con astucia! A ese no se le distingue tan pronto, porque muchas veces, aun aparentando llevar la contraria, adula.

ENGLISH: Another good dialogue by Cicero, which speaks about friendship through the mouth of Gaius Laelius, the close friend of Scipio Africanus. Let us see a few of the best quotes (for me):

Those who boast of the favors they have granted are really hateful; favors must be remembered by those who have received them, never by those who have granted them.

Some make friendship unpleasant, thinking that they are despised; although this, as a general rule, only happens to those who consider themselves despicable.

If someone flatters brazenly, anyone who is not stupid will find him out. But how dangerous is he, who does it slyly and cunningly! That is not so easy to find out, for he frequently flatters, pretending to do the opposite.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed How to be Free and was pleasantly surprised that How to be a Friend surpassed its predecessor’s high bar. For all I’ve enjoyed other books in the series, these two represent a high point and are, in an odd way, complementary.

How to be a Friend is a charming meditation on exactly what the title says. In an era when ‘friend’ has come to be used as a casual synonym for any tenuous connection, Cicero’s words are all the more relevant. Again, I’m impressed by how much these thoughts resonant through the millennia, and although I checked out a copy from the library, I plan to buy one to add to my own bookshelf. This is one worth returning to every so often. Highly recommended.

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting. While I don't necessarily agree with every argument Cicero has made, I do think that he does bring up great philosophical points that apply to real life and are worthy of discussion. Read in Latin IV in high school.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Affected of course I am by the loss of a friend as I think there will never be again, such as I can fearlessly say there never was before. But I stand in no need of medicine. I can find my own consolation, and it consists chiefly in my being free from the mistaken notion which generally causes pain at the departure of friends. To Scipio I am convinced no evil has befallen: mine is the disaster, if disaster there be; and to be severely distressed at one's own misfortunes does not show that you love your friend, but that you love yourself."

"For I am not one of these modern philosophers who maintain that our souls perish with our bodies, and that death ends all. With me ancient opinion has more weight."

"the souls of men are divine, and that when they have quitted the body a return to heaven is open to them, least difficult to those who have been most virtuous and just."

"Now if it be true that in proportion to a man's goodness the escape from what may be called the prison and bonds of the flesh is easiest, whom can we imagine to have had an easier voyage to the gods than Scipio? I am disposed to think, therefore, that in his case mourning would be a sign of envy rather than of friendship."

"Now if it be true that in proportion to a man's goodness the escape from what may be called the prison and bonds of the flesh is easiest, whom can we imagine to have had an easier voyage to the gods than Scipio? I am disposed to think, therefore, that in his case mourning would be a sign of envy rather than of friendship."

"between us there was the most complete harmony in our tastes, our pursuits, and our sentiments, which is the true secret of friendship."

"But I must at the very beginning lay down this principle—friendship can only exist between good men."

"We mean then by the "good" those whose actions and lives leave no question as to their honour, purity, equity, and liberality; who are free from greed, lust, and violence; and who have the courage of their convictions."

"Friendship excels relationship in this, that whereas you may eliminate affection from relationship, you cannot do so from friendship. Without it relationship still exists in name, friendship does not."

"Now friendship may be thus defined: a complete accord on all subjects human and divine, joined with mutual good will and affection."

"There are people who give the palm to riches or to good health, or to power and office, many even to sensual pleasures. This last is the ideal of brute beasts; and of the others we may say that they are frail and uncertain, and depend less on our own prudence than on the caprice of fortune."

"how can life be worth living, to use the words of Ennius, which lacks that repose which is to be found in the mutual good will of a friend? What can be more delightful than to have some one to whom you can say everything with the same absolute confidence as to yourself? Is not prosperity robbed of half its value if you have no one to share your joy? On the other hand, misfortunes would be hard to bear if there were not some one to feel them even more acutely than yourself."

"Such friendship enhances prosperity, and relieves adversity of its burden by halving and sharing it."

"And great and numerous as are the blessings of friendship, this certainly is the sovereign one, that it gives us bright hopes for the future and forbids weakness and despair. In the face of a true friend a man sees as it were a second self."

"If you don't see the virtue of friendship and harmony, you may learn it by observing the effects of quarrels and feuds. Was any family ever so well established, any State so firmly settled, as to be beyond the reach of utter destruction from animosities and factions? This may teach you the immense advantage of friendship."

"whatever in nature and the universe was unchangeable was so in virtue of the binding force of friendship; whatever was changeable was so by the solvent power of discord."

"But of course it is more evident in the case of man: first, in the natural affection between children and their parents, an affection which only shocking wickedness can sunder: and next, when the passion of love has attained to a like strength—on our finding, that is, some one person with whose character and nature we are in full sympathy, because we think that we perceive in him what I may call the beacon-light of virtue. For nothing inspires love, nothing conciliates affection, like virtue. Why, in a certain sense we may be said to feel affection even for men we have never seen, owing to their honesty and virtue."

"Far different is the view of those who, like brute beasts, refer everything to sensual pleasure. And no wonder. Men who have degraded all their powers of thought to an object so mean and contemptible can of course raise their eyes to nothing lofty, to nothing grand and divine."

"For if it were true that its material advantages cemented friendship, it would be equally true that any change in them would dissolve it. But nature being incapable of change, it follows that genuine friendships are eternal."

Why childhood friendships typically don't last into old age: "So many things might intervene: conflicting interests; differences of opinion in politics; frequent changes in character, owing sometimes to misfortunes, sometimes to advancing years."

"Again, wide breaches and, for the most part, justifiable ones were caused by an immoral request being made of friends, to pander to a man's unholy desires or to assist him in inflicting a wrong. A refusal, though perfectly right, is attacked by those to whom they refuse compliance as a violation of the laws of friendship. Now the people who have no scruples as to the requests they make to their friends, thereby allow that they are ready to have no scruples as to what they will do for their friends; and it is the recriminations of such people which commonly not only quench friendships, but give rise to lasting enmities. 'In fact,' he used to say, 'these fatalities overhang friendship in such numbers that it requires not only wisdom but good luck also to escape them all.'"

"We may then lay down this rule of friendship—neither ask nor consent to do what is wrong. For the plea "for friendship's sake" is a discreditable one, and not to be admitted for a moment."

"And I care quite as much what the state of the constitution will be after my death as what it is now."

"Let this, then, be laid down as the first law of friendship, that we should ask from friends, and do for friends, only what is good. But do not let us wait to be asked either: let there be ever an eager readiness, and an absence of hesitation. Let us have the courage to give advice with candour. In friendship, let the influence of friends who give good advice be paramount; and let this influence be used to enforce advice not only in plain-spoken terms, but sometimes, if the case demands it, with sharpness; and when so used, let it be obeyed."

"But let us examine the two doctrines. What is the value of this "freedom from care"? It is very tempting at first sight, but in practice it has in many cases to be put on one side. For there is no business and no course of action demanded from us by our honour which you can consistently decline, or lay aside when begun, from a mere wish to escape from anxiety. Nay, if we wish to avoid anxiety we must avoid virtue itself, which necessarily involves some anxious thoughts in showing its loathing and abhorrence for the qualities which are opposite to itself—as kindness for ill nature, self-control for licentiousness, courage for cowardice. Thus you may notice that it is the just who are most pained at injustice, the brave at cowardly actions, the temperate at depravity. It is then characteristic of a rightly ordered mind to be pleased at what is good and grieved at the reverse. "

"Let me repeat then, "the clear indication of virtue, to which a mind of like character is naturally attracted, is the beginning of friendship." When that is the case the rise of affection is a necessity."

"nothing so powerfully attracts and draws one thing to itself as likeness does to friendship, it will at once be admitted to be true that the good love the good and attach them to themselves as though they were united by blood and nature."

"between good men there is, as it were of necessity, a kindly feeling, which is the source of friendship ordained by nature."

"It is not friendship, then, that follows material advantage, but material advantage friendship."

"life can never be anything but joyless which is without the consolations and companionship of friends."

"The true rule is to take such care in the selection of our friends as never to enter upon a friendship with a man whom we could under any circumstances come to hate."

"The real limit to be observed in friendship is this: the characters of two friends must be stainless. There must be complete harmony of interests, purpose, and aims, without exception."

"[Scipio] used to complain that there was nothing on which men bestowed so little pains: that every one could tell exactly how many goats or sheep he had, but not how many friends; and while they took pains in procuring the former, they were utterly careless in selecting friends, and possessed no particular marks, so to speak, or tokens by which they might judge of their suitability for friendship. Now the qualities we ought to look out for in making our selection are firmness, stability, constancy."

"We make a preliminary trial of horses. So we should of friendship; and should test our friends' characters by a kind of tentative friendship."

"This is why true friendship is very difficult to find among those who engage in politics and the contest for office. Where can you find the man to prefer his friend's advancement to his own?"

"And though what Ennius says is quite true,—"the hour of need shews the friend indeed,"—yet it is in these two ways that most people betray their untrustworthiness and inconstancy, by looking down on friends when they are themselves prosperous, or deserting them in their distress."

"For there should be no satiety in friendship, as there is in other things. The older the sweeter, as in wines that keep well."

"If any of us have any advantage in personal character, intellect, or fortune, we should be ready to make our friends sharers and partners in it with ourselves. For instance, if their parents are in humble circumstances, if their relations are powerful neither in intellect nor means, we should supply their deficiencies and promote their rank and dignity."

"For the advantages of genius and virtue, and in short of every kind of superiority, are never realised to their fullest extent until they are bestowed upon our nearest and dearest."

"As a general rule, we must wait to make up our mind about friendships till men's characters and years have arrived at their full strength and development."

"It is only these mature friendships that can be permanent. For difference of character leads to difference of aims, and the result of such diversity is to estrange friends. The sole reason, for instance, which prevents good men from making friends with bad, or bad with good, is that the divergence of their characters and aims is the greatest possible."

"Now, by "worthy of friendship" I mean those who have in themselves the qualities which attract affection. This sort of man is rare; and indeed all excellent things are rare."

"For man not only loves himself, but seeks another whose spirit he may so blend with his own as almost to make one being of two."

"This being our best and highest object, we must, if we desire to attain it, devote ourselves to virtue; for without virtue we can obtain neither friendship nor anything else desirable. In fact, if virtue be neglected, those who imagine themselves to possess friends will find out their error as soon as some grave disaster forces them to make trial of them. Wherefore, I must again and again repeat, you must satisfy your judgment before engaging your affections: not love first and judge afterwards. We suffer from carelessness in many of our undertakings: in none more than in selecting and cultivating our friends. We put the cart before the horse, and shut the stable door when the steed is stolen, in defiance of the old proverb."

"If a man could ascend to heaven and get a clear view of the natural order of the universe, and the beauty of the heavenly bodies, that wonderful spectacle would give him small pleasure, though nothing could be conceived more delightful if he had but had some one to whom to tell what he had seen."

Cato: "There are people who owe more to bitter enemies than to apparently pleasant friends: the former often speak the truth, the latter never."

Message to Big Tech (Amazon, Twitter, Facebook, Apple, etc.): "truth nevertheless prevails if it be but fairly laid open and brought into the light of day."

"It is virtue, virtue, which both creates and preserves friendship. On it depends harmony of interest, permanence, fidelity. When Virtue has reared her head and shewn the light of her countenance, and seen and recognised the same light in another, she gravitates towards it, and in her turn welcomes that which the other has to shew; and from it springs up a flame which you may call love or friendship as you please."

"But in view of the instability and perishableness of mortal things, we should be continually on the look-out for some to love and by whom to be loved; for if we lose affection and kindliness from our life, we lose all that gives it charm."

"One piece of advice on parting. Make up your minds to this: Virtue (without which friendship is impossible) is first; but next to it, and to it alone, the greatest of all things is Friendship."

[Noah Senthil · Rating 5 out of 5]

A timeless classic, as relevant and beautiful as anything I’ve ever read about friendship. According to Cicero, friendship is utterly dependent upon virtue—only moral people can have and be true friends. He exhorts his readers toward loyalty, love, kindness, honor, selflessness, and warns against flattery, hypocrisy, envy, etc. As the now famous saying goes, “A friend is another self.” This is a highly moral, even spiritual, account of companionship that informs a lot of Christian thinking on the topic throughout the centuries. Friendship is not status-based, as he encourages friendship with the young, old, poor, and rich. It’s not surprising some of the Church Fathers considered Cicero a “righteous pagan.” There’s a wealth of practical knowledge here.

A blessing to audiobook this along with my friend, Luke, on our road trip back from Zion and the Grand Canyon.

[Massimo Pigliucci · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here goes another fantastic entry in the ongoing Princeton University Press' "Ancient Wisdom for Modern Readers" truly inspired series. This one is a classic by the Roman statesman, public advocate, and philosopher Marcus Tullius Cicero. It has been argued that it is the best book ever written on the subject of friendship. It is written as a fictional dialogue set in 129 BCE, before Cicero was born, and featuring Laelius Sapiens and his two sons-in-law, Gaius Fannius, and Quintus Mucius Scaevola. Laelius (who later on Seneca will recommend to his friend Lucilius as a Stoic role model) has just lost his best friend, Scipio Aemilianus (under mysterious circumstances, it may be added), and this provides the occasion for the conversation. Read it and re-read it carefully. It really does contain some of the best advice on how to make and keep true friends, as well as a number of insights into the nature of friendship and human relationships in general. The translator, Philip Freeman, provides readers with a very helpful introduction, which includes ten timeless take-home messages from the book.

[Mia · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Suppose a god carried you far away to a place where you were granted an abundance of every material good nature could wish for, but denied the possibility of ever seeing a human being. Wouldn’t you have to be hard as iron to endure that sort of life? Wouldn’t you, utterly alone, lose every capacity for joy and pleasure?...If someone were to ascend into the heavens and gaze at the nature of the universe and the beauty of the stars, that very wonder would be bitter for him, which would be the most delightful of all if he had someone to tell. Nature loves nothing that is solitary, but always inclines toward some sort of support. And the sweetest support is a very dear friend."

How To Be A Friend is a remarkable, timeless treatise on the nature and value of friendship written by Marcus Tullius Cicero over 2,000 years ago. It is a heartfelt exploration of the relationships that sustain us and that we can sustain. The message here is of universal value, and I will return to it again and again for inspiration, guidance, and reassurance.

[Keira Konson · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Human nature, indeed is so constituted as to be incapable of lonely satisfactions."

[Peter Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to be a Friend by Cicero

About a week after I read this, I was reading an article in the Catholic journal, Communio about the writings of Cardinal Caffaro, who wrote a great deal on family. At one point, the author observes that "He is inspired by St. Augustine, who wrote, "No one can be truly a friend unless he is first a friend of the truth." If you are acquainted with St. Augustine, you will know that St. Augustine was turned toward philosophy by Cicero's now lost "Hortensius." If you've read this book you will know that this summarizes Cicero's "How to be a Friend." [Serveral pages later, the author quotes Cicero's aphorism "familia seminarium societas," basically, "the family is the foundation of society," which is another aphorism that summarizes this book.]

Cicero wrote this book as a kind of dialogue. Cicero assumes the identity of Laelius, whose best friend, Scipio Africanus, has recently passed away. His sons-in-law take the opportunity to ask him about his views on friendship. Laelius then provides his relatives with long monologues on various sub-topics of friendship.

One of Laelius's key points is that friendship involves virtue. True friends are friends of the truth because only those people who have virtue can be friends. The excellence of friendship is in the friendship itself, rather than what a person can use the friendship for. That makes friendship, and the friend, the subject of friendship rather than an object. A friend is another self and, so, is the subject of friendship, like we all make ourselves the subject of our lives rather than its object.

I like the "How To" Philosophy series. They are quick and to the point. The introductions are well written and set up the subsequent material.

[Maddy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great read in this Princeton University Press series with some very useful and insightful suggestions for How to be a Good Friend in life. Its laid out with Latin on the left and English on the right for those fortunate enough to read Latin. Looking forward to the next in this series.

[Ashton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This morning, I planned what I was going to read tonight. This book wasn’t on the docket. But while reading another book over lunch, this one was mentioned, and I knew I had to pick it up. So, my past few hours have been spent nose-deep in a book written 2,068 years ago.

Marcus Tullius Cicero, the Roman philosopher who synthesized Greek thought for a Roman audience, writes here on the concept of friendship. He frames it as a dialogue between Gaius Laelius and his two sons-in-law, Fannius and Scaevola. Through their conversation, Laelius teaches that friendship and virtue are inseparable.

Laelius’s final exhortation captures the heartbeat of the book: “Give the foremost place to virtue, without which friendship cannot be, that with the sole exception of virtue, you may think nothing to be preferred to friendship” (98). For Laelius, virtue has a twofold impact—it both forms and preserves (96). How so? When a virtuous person (a light) seeks out another, they draw "near to that light, and receives in return what the other has to give; and from this intercourse love... is kindled” (94).

Through Laelius’s “wisdom” (as one who “[professes] this art” (24)), Cicero presents numerous thoughts and “laws” for friendship. Some of his thoughts are succinctly developed here:

“That we should do for our friends just what we would do for ourselves;
that our good offices to our friends should correspond in quantity and quality to those they perform for us;
that one’s friends should value him according to his own self-estimate” (59).

Perhaps some helpful context is that Cicero (Laelius) sees friendships as being sought for only help—not affection or on account of good-will.

(And I had to laugh when he quipped, ���[Men] who are given up to pleasure are not to be listened to when they express their opinions about friendship, of which they can have no knowledge either by experience or by reflection” (56). Sorry, pleasure boys.)

Personally, I found many of Cicero’s thoughts intriguing and in line with how I believe friendship should be viewed today. Still, there was something missing. We were created by God for one another, and I believe we all long to understand the wisdom and philosophy of friendship. While some of Cicero’s words might be helpful, I believe friendship is only truly and fully realized in Christ—the definer of virtue. Christ is the foundation. Cicero says that “true friendships are eternal,” which I agree with, but for different reasons (40). It’s not due to nature or avoiding the dissolution of utility, no. For the Christian, friendship truly is eternal because in Christ we have eternal life.

I’ll end with one of Cicero’s most touching reflections—Laelius’s remembrance of his dearest friend, Scipio:

“Indeed, of all things which fortune or nature ever gave me, I have nothing that I can compare with the friendship of Scipio... Never, so far as I know, did I offend him in the least thing; never did I hear from him a word which I would not wish to hear. We had one home; the same diet, and that simple; we were together... in journeying and in our rural sojourns. And what shall I say of our... pursuit of knowledge, and in learning everything new within our reach... Had the recollection and remembrance of these things died with him, I could not anyhow bear the loss of a man, thus bound to me in the closest intimacy and holding me in the dearest love. But they are not blotted out, they are rather nourished and increased by reflection and memory; and were I entirely bereft of them, my advanced age would still be my great comfort, for I can miss his society but for a brief season, and all sorrows, however heavy, if they can last but a little while, ought to be endured” (96-97).

But for Christ. Thanks be to God, we who are in him can now say, “I have nothing that I can compare with the friendship of Jesus Christ.”

[Tijn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mooie woorden van Cicero over vriendschap. Net als voor veel van zijn werk geldt: nog altijd zeer actueel. Taalkundig schitterend, zoals we zijn geschriften kennen, en ook absoluut recht aan gedaan door vertaler Rogier van der Wal. Al met al een aanrader voor de Cicero liefhebber en voor iedereen die een inzichtelijk, tijdloos stuk over vriendschap wil lezen.

[Wolf]

“Diegenen, die de vriendschap, de beste gave der goden, uit het leven schrappen, nemen zoveel weg als de zon uit het heelal.”

[Sanjuro · Rating 4 out of 5]

To the modern reader, most of the ideas in this book will feel self-evident, maybe even obvious. These ideas have only become self-evident because they started largely here, with this book, and were then regurgitated in various forms over the past 2,000 years. Even if these ideas feel all too familiar, they are still mostly true, and reading them from Cicero's hand still feels helpful and inspiring. To early readers much of this felt fresh, to us it's a refresher, and still holds its value. A few important quotes:

"Friendship doesn't result from advantage, but advantage results from friendship."

"It's not easy to find someone who will descend to the depths of calamity with a friend."

"Nothing is more disgraceful than to wage war with someone you once loved...Let people say the other person is behaving badly and not you."

"A friend is, quite simply, another self."

"I urge you to strive for virtue, for without it friendship cannot exist."

[Dvd (#) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Brutalmente?
Brutalmente.

Molte cose sull'amicizia certamente condivisibili, altre proprie più che altro della mentalità aristocratica romana e della fides latina, molti riferimenti al presente in cui Cicerone scriveva (la crisi definitiva della Repubblica, la morte appena avvenuta di Cesare, l'ascesa di Marco Antonio) molti altri rivolti alla Roma arcaica, alquanto oscuri.

Però tutti i concetti importanti sono riassumibili in due pagine. Poi è tutto molto prolisso. Molto molto prolisso.

Non avevo la concentrazione giusta.
In più, ho sempre avuto la sensazione che Cicerone - come Seneca - fosse uno di quelli che predicava bene (o benissimo) e razzolava male (o spesso malissimo).

[Nicoleta]

https://radukretzudava.files.wordpres...

[Melody Bringe · Rating 5 out of 5]

“is it any wonder that our hearts are stirred when we see virtue and excellence in someone with whom we might form a close connection? Yet love is strengthened even more by receiving kindness, by seeing the other person care for us, and by spending time together.
In this way, drawn together by mutual affection, a wonderful abundance of goodwill between two people grows into a flame.”

“Seek from friends only what is honorable and do for friends only what is just —but don't wait to be asked.
Let your eagerness always be present and hesitation absent. Give your honest advice freely.”

“Truly, in many aspects of life, but especially in friendship, virtue can bend and yield so that it shapes itself to the needs of a friend in both good times and bad. Anxiety for the sake of a friend is something we should accept and certainly isn't grounds for removing friendship from our life…
virtue holds friendship together, if there should be some shining act of goodness done by one friend which the other embraces and returns, then a true love between friends will by necessity arise.”

“Another important rule of friendship is that we not let an excess of affection — as often happens — prevent someone from pursuing a worthwhile opportunity to be useful to others… Often important tasks compel us to be apart from our friends. Anyone who tries to prevent you from following through on a great opportunity because he can't manage his own sorrow at your absence is weak and unmanly by nature-and that is precisely what causes him to be unreasonable in friendship.” Talk about schooling us moderns on our emotions!

“It can't be repeated often enough- you should love after you have judged, not judge after you have loved.” Great applications for marriage!

“To graciously give and receive criticism is the mark of true friendship. You must offer your corrections with kindness, not harshly, and take them patiently, not with reluctance.
Nothing is worse or more destructive among friends than constant flattery, fawning, and affirmation. Call it what you will, it is the mark of a weak and false-hearted man to tell you anything to please you except the truth.”

[Sanemsrgz · Rating 4 out of 5]

•Cicero wrote some very nice things about friendship in the form of dialogue.
He writes that a friend is not here for our own interests, those who have a lot of money often don't have a real friend and he wrote other things about friendship.
It was a classic I read with pleasure. His writing reminds me of Seneca.
I would like to give chance to the author's other books.

•Dostluk hakkında, diyalog şeklinde çok güzel şeyler yazmış Cicero.
Bize bir dostun kendi çıkarlarımız için burda olmadığını, çok parası olanların genelde gerçek dosta sahip olamadığını ve biriyle dost olunca, yaptıklarımızın karşılığını beklemememiz gerektiğini ve bunlar gibi dostluk hakkında başka şeyler de kaleme almış yazar.
Keyifle okuduğum bir klasik oldu. Yazış biçimi bana Seneca’yı anımsattı.
Yazarın diğer kitaplarına mutlaka şans vermek isterim.

[Aysel Ibrahimova · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cicero’nun yunan fəlsəfə məktəbindən və Roma ədəbiyyatından təsirləndiyi açıq olan, insan münasibətlərini, xüsusilə dostluq haqqında fikirlərini yığcam və sadə dildə ifadə etdiyi oxunaqlı fəlsəfi əsərdir.

Fəlsəfi əsərlərin ən sevdiyim tərəfi odur ki, mövzunu ortaya qoyanda ondan çıxış yolunu da izah edirlər. Filosofluq belə birşeydir hərhalda :) Cicero saxtakar insan dostluqlarını xırdalayıb, onlarla əlaqəni bəsit şəkildə necə kəsə biləcəyinin asan yollarını sanki bir valideyninmiş, müəlliminmiş kimi izah edib.

Bəyəndim. Ara-sıra vərəqləyəcəm.

[Francesco Morettini · Rating 4 out of 5]

La virtù, la virtù dico, C. Fannio e tu Q.
Mucio, procura e conserva le amicizie. In essa è
l'armonia, in essa la stabilità, in essa la costanza; quando la virtù si solleva e mostra il suo splendo-
re e lo scorge e lo riconosce in un altro, si avvici-
na a questo e accoglie reciprocamente quella luce
che è nell'altro; da questo si accende sia l'amore
che l'amicizia. L'uno e l'altro derivano dal ver-
bo «amare»; ma amare non è niente altro se non
voler bene a chi si ama, senza nessun bisogno,
senza chiedere nessun vantaggio, che tuttavia
fiorisce da sé nell'amicizia, anche se non lo hai
cercato (p119-120)