Single Men Are Like Waffles—Single Women Are Like Spaghetti: Friendship, Romance, and Relationships That Work

by Bill Farrel, Pam Farrel

Bill and Pam Farrel’s book for married couples, Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, quickly found its niche with couples eager to improve their relationship with their spouses. But single Christians asked, “What about us?” Now, Pam and Bill help single “waffles” and “spaghetti” Singles will discover how a relationship with God can fulfill their key needs. A discussion guide is included for small group or personal use.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Relationships, Self Help, Christian Non Fiction

288 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2002

Reviews

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some parts weren’t relevant to me so I kind of skimmed over them. They also have some lists that were supposed to be humorous but that I found more just dumb. Yet there was also a lot of good content that made it worth seen through to the end (& that’s really saying something as I’m someone whose not afraid to quit books).

[Sally Ferguson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you talk to your kids about sex?
Our college-age Sunday School class is working through a book called Single Men Are Like Waffles – Single Women Are Like Spaghetti. I’m realizing it is much easier to talk to them about dating relationships, than to my own teens! 
This week’s chapter talks about the level of commitment men and women experience as sex enters the equation. Women think sex is a sign of love, and men think love is a sign of sex. If she’s giving, to receive his love, and he acts loving, to receive sex, then they are on different wavelengths. The bond that forms then seals a relationship that is difficult to break. God says in Genesis 2:24 that the two become one. The resulting emotional ties affect every decision thereafter and cloud the ability to avoid bad relationships.
If a singles are willing to set high standards for their dating lives, then they will be able to be objective about their relationships. What kind of values does that person have? work ethic? respect for family members? what are their goals in life? views on politics? how do they spend money? These questions and more need to be asked before a relationship gets entangled by physical ties.
We assume if we have those feelings of “being in love,” everything else will work out. But what happens when the feelings aren’t there? That’s when integrity and commitment keep a marriage together until the feelings return. Every marriage goes through bland times, but a marriage built on trust and respect has a greater foundation to last.
So, talk about the long-range effects of a life together, and maybe those sex talks will take on a whole new perspective!

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The analogy of men like waffles and women being like spaghetti is actually kind of interesting. The idea is that men like to process life from within little boxes, one category at a time, and women like to go from category to category, all the time, since for them everything in life is connected. So while a guy might want to talk about cars for 2 hours, a woman will free associate and change subjects 6 times, frustrating the guy mightily. I think there's some truth in here, at least based on my marriage experience!

The rest of the book's focus on single people was a bit judgmental and WAY too christian oriented for me.

[Nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much treasure here. It's not a page turner or per se, but there is so much practical knowledge in this book to apply to our experience as singles. It might take some time to get through it, but you'll be glad you gave the effort. Highly recommend this book. We (men and women) are different but many of those differences can and will complement each other if we understand how we can work together to use our natures and strengths alongside each other.

[Adam & Kristin Veteto · Rating 4 out of 5]

great for understanding one another

[Beverly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Bill and Pam use humor and how men and women are wired, to teach about each gender. I highly recommend this book for single adults.

[Benjamin Looby · Rating 4 out of 5]

TLDR: 20 years+ and still pretty current. Great insights and information, a challenging read at times. Will read again.


Full review (based on first read):

20 years since its publishing, this book still holds a lot of wisdom and great insights into men, women, relationships (not just romantic), and how to relate to each other. There are definitely elements that could be updated for today's culture, but much of this still rings true. Just read it with the understanding in the back of your mind that it won't align 100% with everything we might experience today or with some of the current issues the church and culture face. Some of the referenced studies and data could likely be updated too.

However, I found this helpful for understanding women, love, marriage, dating, and even myself!

The greatest asset of this book is that Bill and Pam wrote it with a Christian, Bible-based mindset that examines men, women, love, and marriage from the perspective of how God created us. The multiple reference stories and personal examples (quite vulnerable in spots) were very helpful.

Although I have done other studies, heard talks on these topics, and even done some very in-depth spiritual and personal improvement work recently, this book was a challenging read at times. Partly because the information, number of ideas, and questions felt overwhelming in spots. Other portions were emotional. I did read it over 10 days - sometimes a couple chapters a day - which could contribute to those feelings. Regardless, you may want to take time when you read this and even re-read all or parts of it.

I read this book hoping for some good insights into women and marriage, and came away with that, plus an understanding of some ways that I need to better prepare myself for serving and loving my future wife and a reminder of how much I need God to be the man He wants me to be.

I will definitely re-read this, take more notes, and examine what my perspectives, opinions, and expectations are in the various topics.

[Leslie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Where I did get some interesting tidbits out of the book, I wouldn't suggest this book to any of my single friends. The "jokes" at the end of the chapters threw me off because they were highly stereotypical in an almost mean sense. This book did give me some insight into the male mind but nothing that I didn't really already know. It almost felt like the authors were giving excuses for both genders - this is how they think so deal with it.

[Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book

[cloudyskye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very amusingly written and full of valuable insights, confirmed by real life observation. Whoever said men and women are the same???

[Kelli · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like books that impart wisdom. It's quirky sometimes and funny. Just kind of a matter of fact book about differences. Plus kind of entertaining and accurate.

[Frankie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a great book for help with relationships. Reading this book has helped me understand some things about relating to men.

[Rachel Paller · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book because I always thought that we were just too different to work. But this book clearly explained how we are good for each other and the differences are important.