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The last empire has fallen.
The final megalomaniac is dead.
The universe stepped back from the edge of extinction.
The intergalactic war between the forces of Good and Evil versus the rest of us is over.
Fortunately the rest of us won.
Welcome to the universe once we’ve conquered the urge to control everything or else blow it up.
But even a universe at peace is still a very dangerous place.
22 years ago a spaceship crashed on Earth Seven.
One of the boys that found the wreckage is on the cusp of uniting the planet under his rule.
By convention, all planets in contact quarantine are called Earth and given a numerical designation.
For example, if you are reading this on Amazon, you are on Earth Five.
The war taught us that we can never let barbarians loose in the universe again.
Earth Seven is thousands of years from joining the Federation.
They are at a medieval level of development and have met none of the contact criteria.
Allor heals the sick with alien technology and they love him for it.
Allor promises to end the religious wars.
His sister runs an informant network and collects the severed heads of his rivals.
His mother has created a religion to worship him.
Oh, dear.
Koven Modi, a rookie field historian, is sent to investigate the use of advanced comms technology on Earth Seven, a Prim-3 planet.
Koven is well-armed, well-trained and well-scared.
War is constant on Earth Seven.
His goals are simple. Don’t get killed and don’t get dumped by his girlfriend.
Staying alive may be easier.
Under other circumstances, Allor and Koven would be good friends.
But their roles make them enemies.
Calcus Majoris has deteremined that there is a 62.37% probability that Earth Five will self-destruct.
Read Earth Seven before your planet blows up
Your money back if your planet self-destructs before you read my book.
Cursing: Yes
Imaginary Sex: Yes
Satirical Viewpoints: Overwhelmingly
The final megalomaniac is dead.
The universe stepped back from the edge of extinction.
The intergalactic war between the forces of Good and Evil versus the rest of us is over.
Fortunately the rest of us won.
Welcome to the universe once we’ve conquered the urge to control everything or else blow it up.
But even a universe at peace is still a very dangerous place.
22 years ago a spaceship crashed on Earth Seven.
One of the boys that found the wreckage is on the cusp of uniting the planet under his rule.
By convention, all planets in contact quarantine are called Earth and given a numerical designation.
For example, if you are reading this on Amazon, you are on Earth Five.
The war taught us that we can never let barbarians loose in the universe again.
Earth Seven is thousands of years from joining the Federation.
They are at a medieval level of development and have met none of the contact criteria.
Allor heals the sick with alien technology and they love him for it.
Allor promises to end the religious wars.
His sister runs an informant network and collects the severed heads of his rivals.
His mother has created a religion to worship him.
Oh, dear.
Koven Modi, a rookie field historian, is sent to investigate the use of advanced comms technology on Earth Seven, a Prim-3 planet.
Koven is well-armed, well-trained and well-scared.
War is constant on Earth Seven.
His goals are simple. Don’t get killed and don’t get dumped by his girlfriend.
Staying alive may be easier.
Under other circumstances, Allor and Koven would be good friends.
But their roles make them enemies.
Calcus Majoris has deteremined that there is a 62.37% probability that Earth Five will self-destruct.
Read Earth Seven before your planet blows up
Your money back if your planet self-destructs before you read my book.
Cursing: Yes
Imaginary Sex: Yes
Satirical Viewpoints: Overwhelmingly
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About the author
Steve M.
11 books17 followersSteve here. I may or may not be from Earth. My earth mother believed that her baby was swapped in the hospital.
It would explain a lot.
I was born/landed in Mississippi but spent my formative years in Perth, Australia. I've been traveling ever since, having recently finished ten years in London. Some places just look better from a rear-view mirror. I'm from one of those.
My life is powered by curiosity mostly, along with an aversion to rules and a healthy disrespect for authority. Even as a kid I was attracted to the open window of the old abandoned beach house not far from where we lived. My earth mother calls me an 'over-educated delinquent'. While I disagree others do not. You can never have enough education.
I write crime thrillers from the criminal perspective because it's great fun to think like a criminal. Hardhearted, calculating, and mean. Who lives? Who dies? Who's to blame? Writing while smiling happens a lot with these stories. The bad ass who breaks down in tears with a gun pressed against his forehead. Such lovely ideas bring a smile to my face.
I also write Satirical Science Fiction because deep down I'm a smart ass. Many things don't make sense yet we do them anyway. Making fun of sacred cows is fun to do and acceptable if it's based in another galaxy. So I write about the chaotic mess that is the universe and the poor slubs who try to keep it running without another extinction event. I love considering 'what if', asking fundamental questions and examining alternatives to those we're taught/brainwashed to believe.
We must consider the possibility that the universe is broken. No, not at a molecular, spatial, or temporal level. But at a much more basic level, there is a crack in the logic of it. Doesn't that bring a smile? Are we just a simulation?
Finally I write Dystopian/Utopian fiction. It's my belief that we have been in a dystopia for many years now and it has become more apparent recently.
I've had many jobs in my life. Everything from making pizzas to being a longshoreman, to implementing overpriced IT projects for major corporations. Writing is the only job that doesn't suck. Well the marketing part sucks but the creative part is splendid and the reason I do it.
I live in Florida with Barbara and three cats: Lizzy, Casey, and Beebles. But I’m always planning our next move.
You can join the reader's group and get weekly drafts chapters of the novel in progress.
Just go to stevemauthor.com
It would explain a lot.
I was born/landed in Mississippi but spent my formative years in Perth, Australia. I've been traveling ever since, having recently finished ten years in London. Some places just look better from a rear-view mirror. I'm from one of those.
My life is powered by curiosity mostly, along with an aversion to rules and a healthy disrespect for authority. Even as a kid I was attracted to the open window of the old abandoned beach house not far from where we lived. My earth mother calls me an 'over-educated delinquent'. While I disagree others do not. You can never have enough education.
I write crime thrillers from the criminal perspective because it's great fun to think like a criminal. Hardhearted, calculating, and mean. Who lives? Who dies? Who's to blame? Writing while smiling happens a lot with these stories. The bad ass who breaks down in tears with a gun pressed against his forehead. Such lovely ideas bring a smile to my face.
I also write Satirical Science Fiction because deep down I'm a smart ass. Many things don't make sense yet we do them anyway. Making fun of sacred cows is fun to do and acceptable if it's based in another galaxy. So I write about the chaotic mess that is the universe and the poor slubs who try to keep it running without another extinction event. I love considering 'what if', asking fundamental questions and examining alternatives to those we're taught/brainwashed to believe.
We must consider the possibility that the universe is broken. No, not at a molecular, spatial, or temporal level. But at a much more basic level, there is a crack in the logic of it. Doesn't that bring a smile? Are we just a simulation?
Finally I write Dystopian/Utopian fiction. It's my belief that we have been in a dystopia for many years now and it has become more apparent recently.
I've had many jobs in my life. Everything from making pizzas to being a longshoreman, to implementing overpriced IT projects for major corporations. Writing is the only job that doesn't suck. Well the marketing part sucks but the creative part is splendid and the reason I do it.
I live in Florida with Barbara and three cats: Lizzy, Casey, and Beebles. But I’m always planning our next move.
You can join the reader's group and get weekly drafts chapters of the novel in progress.
Just go to stevemauthor.com
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
March 16, 2022
I won this book in a goodreads drawing.
On an earth type planet with low technology, a space ship crashes. A native discovers the ship and, like they say a lot in science fiction, high level technology is indistinguishable from magic. While the native is trying to create an empire, someone very much like an intern from a more advanced earth is trying to figure out what is happening on the primitive planet.
Not as funny as the author thinks, but YMMV.
On an earth type planet with low technology, a space ship crashes. A native discovers the ship and, like they say a lot in science fiction, high level technology is indistinguishable from magic. While the native is trying to create an empire, someone very much like an intern from a more advanced earth is trying to figure out what is happening on the primitive planet.
Not as funny as the author thinks, but YMMV.
February 13, 2018
NOT kindle unlimited. Saw some 'bad' reviews, but I sat here thinking that they were bad because, okay some F bombs and some other mild cuss words but eh, whatever; but what got me is people saying it was basically irreligious so beyond irreverant, but everyone from Holy Rollers to politicians to comedians and even various faiths have went against which ever god and/or religion they professed to believe in and follow. Some of the most knowledgeable Scientists have been Athiests, Agnostics {what it used to mean, i.e. no particular faith} and/or Spiritual. When I see someone upset over someone 'dissing' religion, and in a SCI FI book, well it's beyond goofy, but just remember -- Judge not lest ye be judged. I can say that because it must be obvious to those people I am a 'heathen' btw.
King James had the Bible 'made', leaving out what he didn't want in, even to leaving out whole chapters and peoples, so well.... We have had the Crusades, Inquisition, and more, all supposedly in the name of whatever god was being 'praised'...through murder and worse {yes there is worse}, so considering religions' track record on all that, I don't see how a science fiction book is going to damage whatever god you supposely {claim} to belive in. I thought the book was funny, and don't see what got those 1 or 2 people all freaked out, even to the point of NOT finishing reading BUT still reviewing, and I dont' think that should even be allowed by amazon or goodreads -- you don't read it all you should NOT be allowed to review it {all}, period. Besides, is your god so weak and ineffectual that wiping people's minds would mean they would never form relgion again...with an almighty...oh ye of little {NO} faith, but whatever.
What if technology advances so fast that a military science fiction universe would be a death sentence?
Simply put, we'd create a weapon that can destroy everything and some idiot would use it.
Welcome to the universe after we finally conquer the urge to blow up everything.
Think of it like this, 'Out there' the grownups are in charge, by necessity.
But even a universe at peace, is still a very dangerous place.
22 years ago, a spaceship crashed on Earth Seven, a primitive 3 rated planet under contact quarantine. The boy who found the wreckage is now the man who will unite the planet under his rule. Allor heals the sick with alien technology. Allor will end the cult wars. His sister runs an informant network and collects the heads of his rivals. His mother has created a religion to worship him. Oh, dear!
All planets in contact quarantine are called Earth and given a numerical designation. For example, you are on Earth Five. What? Don't act surprised. Look around. War, famine, poverty, ecological disasters, murderous mythologies, Trump? And no one comes to visit, not a single tourist? You’ve had plenty of clues.
The History Department sends Koven Modi, a rookie Field Historian, to Earth Seven to investigate the use of comms technology on a planet with a medieval civilization. Koven is not the best person for the job, he's the only one left. Everyone else is out looking for missing Physics Professor Klept and his dog, who might just cause the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies to collide. Koven's goals are simple. He wants to avoid getting killed, avoid work as much as possible, and avoid getting dumped by Tanit, his girlfriend.
Earth Seven is a story that challenges basic sci-fi assumptions and offers new alternatives. What started as simple thoughts, 'Why do they always ..., what if …,' resulted in Earth Seven, a small book of big ideas.
An example? OK.
'Out there' we're all vegetarian. Why? Simple. How would you like being the most popular pizza topping in the galaxy? Yea, I didn't think so. What? Ohhhh, you believe pizza was created on Earth Five? Well that's delicious, but incorrect.
Read Earth Seven now BEFORE your planet self-destructs (currently a 63.82% probability).
Words your mother won't like? Definitely.
Imaginary Sex? Of course.
Satirical Viewpoints? Overwhelmingly.
Warning for 'bad' words, imaginary sex, satire, irreligious irreverance MUST READ NOW!!!!
Earth Seven: And the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath - a Science Fiction Satire (Book 1)
Mortuis Luna: and the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath
The Finite Void
A Partial History of the Universe
Earth Seven
Mortuis Luna
The Finite Void
Now all three in one place.
King James had the Bible 'made', leaving out what he didn't want in, even to leaving out whole chapters and peoples, so well.... We have had the Crusades, Inquisition, and more, all supposedly in the name of whatever god was being 'praised'...through murder and worse {yes there is worse}, so considering religions' track record on all that, I don't see how a science fiction book is going to damage whatever god you supposely {claim} to belive in. I thought the book was funny, and don't see what got those 1 or 2 people all freaked out, even to the point of NOT finishing reading BUT still reviewing, and I dont' think that should even be allowed by amazon or goodreads -- you don't read it all you should NOT be allowed to review it {all}, period. Besides, is your god so weak and ineffectual that wiping people's minds would mean they would never form relgion again...with an almighty...oh ye of little {NO} faith, but whatever.
What if technology advances so fast that a military science fiction universe would be a death sentence?
Simply put, we'd create a weapon that can destroy everything and some idiot would use it.
Welcome to the universe after we finally conquer the urge to blow up everything.
Think of it like this, 'Out there' the grownups are in charge, by necessity.
But even a universe at peace, is still a very dangerous place.
22 years ago, a spaceship crashed on Earth Seven, a primitive 3 rated planet under contact quarantine. The boy who found the wreckage is now the man who will unite the planet under his rule. Allor heals the sick with alien technology. Allor will end the cult wars. His sister runs an informant network and collects the heads of his rivals. His mother has created a religion to worship him. Oh, dear!
All planets in contact quarantine are called Earth and given a numerical designation. For example, you are on Earth Five. What? Don't act surprised. Look around. War, famine, poverty, ecological disasters, murderous mythologies, Trump? And no one comes to visit, not a single tourist? You’ve had plenty of clues.
The History Department sends Koven Modi, a rookie Field Historian, to Earth Seven to investigate the use of comms technology on a planet with a medieval civilization. Koven is not the best person for the job, he's the only one left. Everyone else is out looking for missing Physics Professor Klept and his dog, who might just cause the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies to collide. Koven's goals are simple. He wants to avoid getting killed, avoid work as much as possible, and avoid getting dumped by Tanit, his girlfriend.
Earth Seven is a story that challenges basic sci-fi assumptions and offers new alternatives. What started as simple thoughts, 'Why do they always ..., what if …,' resulted in Earth Seven, a small book of big ideas.
An example? OK.
'Out there' we're all vegetarian. Why? Simple. How would you like being the most popular pizza topping in the galaxy? Yea, I didn't think so. What? Ohhhh, you believe pizza was created on Earth Five? Well that's delicious, but incorrect.
Read Earth Seven now BEFORE your planet self-destructs (currently a 63.82% probability).
Words your mother won't like? Definitely.
Imaginary Sex? Of course.
Satirical Viewpoints? Overwhelmingly.
Warning for 'bad' words, imaginary sex, satire, irreligious irreverance MUST READ NOW!!!!
Earth Seven: And the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath - a Science Fiction Satire (Book 1)
Mortuis Luna: and the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath
The Finite Void
A Partial History of the Universe
Earth Seven
Mortuis Luna
The Finite Void
Now all three in one place.
August 24, 2017
Humor in Science Fiction is hard to execute in a sustainable fashion. Allow me a quick demonstration: In the beginning of the universe, there was only God. And then, eventually, God got bored.
Maybe that got a smirk from you, maybe not. For some, there's a setup and a punchline there. For others, it's a "ok, and?" For others still, there is a great confusion as to why any of those words were supposed to be interesting in the first place.
That long setup is to point to the idea that when readers DO find a sustained humor in Science Fiction, say a Douglas Adams type, they try not to let go. I am sad to report that, while there are absolutely plenty of humorous elements in this book, they certainly did not all work together.
Doing my best to avoid spoilers, I will say that the first 100 pages are, in a way, just like any other book - they are the setup section, during which many readers will decide whether the book is worth sticking with. The problem with the first 100 pages, for me, was that the tones of humor did not flow together. The shifts in tone are quite jarring, and at least at first, it is not entirely clear how much, if anything, the reader is intended to take seriously rather than humorously.
All that written, this review is as long as it is because the book does settle down after those first 100 pages, and individual characters get more color. As that happens, the jokes per page quotient goes down, which helps. The result is that the remaining jokes fit the story better.
During the first 100 pages, this book was going to be a 1-star DNF (did not finish). I am glad I stuck with it. The author earned back a bit of good will and even if the rest of the book is a bit predictable at times, it ends up being worth reading the rest.
Maybe that got a smirk from you, maybe not. For some, there's a setup and a punchline there. For others, it's a "ok, and?" For others still, there is a great confusion as to why any of those words were supposed to be interesting in the first place.
That long setup is to point to the idea that when readers DO find a sustained humor in Science Fiction, say a Douglas Adams type, they try not to let go. I am sad to report that, while there are absolutely plenty of humorous elements in this book, they certainly did not all work together.
Doing my best to avoid spoilers, I will say that the first 100 pages are, in a way, just like any other book - they are the setup section, during which many readers will decide whether the book is worth sticking with. The problem with the first 100 pages, for me, was that the tones of humor did not flow together. The shifts in tone are quite jarring, and at least at first, it is not entirely clear how much, if anything, the reader is intended to take seriously rather than humorously.
All that written, this review is as long as it is because the book does settle down after those first 100 pages, and individual characters get more color. As that happens, the jokes per page quotient goes down, which helps. The result is that the remaining jokes fit the story better.
During the first 100 pages, this book was going to be a 1-star DNF (did not finish). I am glad I stuck with it. The author earned back a bit of good will and even if the rest of the book is a bit predictable at times, it ends up being worth reading the rest.
October 22, 2017
This book tries to be a lot of things and for the most part succeeds. The ideas drive the book along with likable characters like Allor and Kovan. This book worked for me so well (but perhaps I'm biased because I do have a degree in history so mixing history and science fiction is the peanut butter cup of fiction as far as I'm concerned) that I easily forgive the lack of polish in the story telling. It is quite readable and the 'bumps' in flow are swiftly passed. I've read many books by flawless writers who did not have such a solid story to tell that's personal, theological, political, and interglobal. The ideas are big and interesting to me. I loved the dry humor although please don't look for ha ha funny in this book. Once I got pass the opening (sorry, but it starts in a very rough way), this book was a lot of fun to read--so much so that even with my 'nits' I still rate this at 5 stars.
June 9, 2018
Science fiction story dealing with a man who found a crashed spaceship and used the technology he discovered to help and heal people and destroy those who oppressed them as well as the man sent to retrieve the technology by the History Dept at the University of Centrum Kath. While funny and insightful, it tends to wander away from the story arc along the way. I did like it, but had some difficulty staying focused and following all that was going on. There are more in this series and I’d like to read them at some point.
~ARC via Hidden Gems. This is my honest, voluntary review.~
~ARC via Hidden Gems. This is my honest, voluntary review.~
April 24, 2018
Interesting sci-fi with new twists
This story has the “old” older societies running things in the universe from the background idea. However there are some interesting twists with the “University” running things and the intrigue between the departments. Fun read, looking forward to the sequel.
This story has the “old” older societies running things in the universe from the background idea. However there are some interesting twists with the “University” running things and the intrigue between the departments. Fun read, looking forward to the sequel.
May 6, 2018
Much of the cultural commentary about people, politics, and belief is insightful and funny. Unfortunately, it tends to go off on its own without a lot of relevance to the main story arc, which involves a guy on a technologically and culturally backward planet who discovers advanced tech in a crashed spaceship.
March 12, 2019
I won this book in a giveaway on Goodreads. DNF at 17%
I will admit one thing. I don't love Douglas Adams. But this just feels like a cheap knockoff. The story is almost nonexistent between the omnipresent asides to infodump. I think it is meant to be funny, but not of the jokes landed for me. Part of the problem may be that the author is trying to make a joke out of everything.
I will admit one thing. I don't love Douglas Adams. But this just feels like a cheap knockoff. The story is almost nonexistent between the omnipresent asides to infodump. I think it is meant to be funny, but not of the jokes landed for me. Part of the problem may be that the author is trying to make a joke out of everything.
April 4, 2018
Pretty good. What if we found advanced technology? What would we do with it? Would we share it? Would we use it for power or money? This book makes you think about all the possibilities. Well worth the read.
June 24, 2019
i only gave it 4 stars because I was a history major and cant lie. A very interesting and unusual story. Humor , Satire and emotions Setting in a future where various department vie for leadership with history and sociology being the main departments. Well worth reading .
March 29, 2018
Farcical trifling trash!
What a waste of data, far too silly for me at any time or mood. I could not delete fast enough.
What a waste of data, far too silly for me at any time or mood. I could not delete fast enough.
October 23, 2018
This was a very different sci-fi story, and a rather funny one to boot.
November 27, 2018
Satire is not a genre that I normally would pick up. However because I like the authors other books so much I thought that I would give this one read. Oddly, I liked it.
May 14, 2019
Very juvenile. Seems to be written for 10 or 11 year old children. Sorry; not my cup of tea. Couldn’t get past the first few pages.
August 16, 2019
Meandering read
It was an experience similar to Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but with an abrupt ending posing as a cliffhanger. Read at your own risk.
It was an experience similar to Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but with an abrupt ending posing as a cliffhanger. Read at your own risk.
June 2, 2020
Some spelling errors, very funny!!
April 18, 2021
No!
This book is way overpriced at $0.99. I gave up at the 1/4 point. Six more words to complete the required 20 words would be superfluous.
This book is way overpriced at $0.99. I gave up at the 1/4 point. Six more words to complete the required 20 words would be superfluous.
Want to read
February 7, 2018I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways. It is a Kindle book.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews