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Unladylike: A Field Guide to Smashing the Patriarchy and Claiming Your Space
A funny, fact-driven, and comprehensive illustrated field guide to feminist living from the inside out by the former hosts of the hugely popular podcast Stuff Mom Never Told You and the forthcoming podcast Unladylike.
Combining the feminist issues slant of Lean In and Bad Feminist with the humor and relatability of Why Not Me? and Adulting, Unladylike is a "social justice self-help" guide to how to be a feminist--and an informed, strong woman--in today's world. Unladylike explains the history and larger political context of the issues that face women in our patriarchal culture--such as the wage gap, white vs. intersectional feminism, gendered beauty standards, body image, and rape culture--and offers prescriptive, practical advice for how to handle the personal implications of being a feminist today. Drawing upon examples from herstory and the best of contemporary feminist theory, Unladylike provides guidance for how to live a woke, feminist life, and addresses the feminist questions women grapple with in their daily lives--How can I live my politics? How should I handle dating and sex? How do I support and not compete with my female friends? Are these high heels feminist? Should I change my name if I get married? How do I deal with money? How can I get over my imposter syndrome? Unladylike answers all of these questions and more, empowering women and readying the world for a female future.
Combining the feminist issues slant of Lean In and Bad Feminist with the humor and relatability of Why Not Me? and Adulting, Unladylike is a "social justice self-help" guide to how to be a feminist--and an informed, strong woman--in today's world. Unladylike explains the history and larger political context of the issues that face women in our patriarchal culture--such as the wage gap, white vs. intersectional feminism, gendered beauty standards, body image, and rape culture--and offers prescriptive, practical advice for how to handle the personal implications of being a feminist today. Drawing upon examples from herstory and the best of contemporary feminist theory, Unladylike provides guidance for how to live a woke, feminist life, and addresses the feminist questions women grapple with in their daily lives--How can I live my politics? How should I handle dating and sex? How do I support and not compete with my female friends? Are these high heels feminist? Should I change my name if I get married? How do I deal with money? How can I get over my imposter syndrome? Unladylike answers all of these questions and more, empowering women and readying the world for a female future.
288 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 2, 2018
130 people are currently reading
2667 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews
May 3, 2019
I taught Women's Studies for 30 years, owned a feminist bookstore for 20 years and am an avid reader, so I know little something about feminist books. This one is a must-have. People used to ask me for a recommendation of a book that captures feminism in a nutshell. As a nearly impossible request, this book comes close. It is radical in that it looks to collective action, rather than individualism; it is intersectional; it has humor and spice; and it speaks to young and old. As much feminist literature as I have read, I still learned a lot of new material. I was also extremely pleased to see their characterization of Mathilda Joslyn Gage was accurate, something many feminist historians fail to do. I would recommend this book to old feminists like me and to young ones ready to lead the Movement. And to those women who don't consider themselves feminists, I dare you to read this book and not find something that will alter your thinking.
October 17, 2018
This is a fabulous guidebook that gives an overview of how patriarchy affects/infects the Western world, the history behind various movements to combat it, and how to move forward in the work of dismantling oppressive systems. It also does a great job of being intersectional, and doesn't shy away from celebrating the achievements of women of color, disabled women, and LGBT people (who are very often erased when discussing the history of feminism and activism in the US). It obviously isn't entirely comprehensive (there is a reason that universities offer entire degrees in Women/Gender Studies), but I would definitely recommend it for any person who is waking up to the ideas of patriarchy and systemic oppression and wants to do more, as this will help people understand the history and foundations of these systems in the US, and how to help going forward. It gives great ideas for how to do the personal work of rooting out internalized misogyny as well as the societal work of activism and building a better world.
My favorite quote in the book is from Shirley Chisholm in 1972 (the first black woman elected to Congress, and the first black woman to run for president in one of the two major political parties): "Your time is now, sisters... New goals and new priorities, not only for this country, but for all mankind must be set... We can do that by confronting people with their humanity and their own inhumanity - confronting them wherever we meet them, in the church, in the classroom, on the floor of the Congress and the state legislatures, in the bars, and on the streets."
My favorite quote in the book is from Shirley Chisholm in 1972 (the first black woman elected to Congress, and the first black woman to run for president in one of the two major political parties): "Your time is now, sisters... New goals and new priorities, not only for this country, but for all mankind must be set... We can do that by confronting people with their humanity and their own inhumanity - confronting them wherever we meet them, in the church, in the classroom, on the floor of the Congress and the state legislatures, in the bars, and on the streets."
January 8, 2021
Unladylike: A Field Guide to Smashing the Patriarchy and Claiming Your Space uses academic thought, colloquial language, engaging illustrations, colourful infographics, definitions and recent data to offer a comprehensive guide for women navigating/confronting the patriarchy.
I received this book as a gift a few years ago and never felt called to read it. I thought it might be the literary equivalent of a fast fashion t-shirt with the words "feminist" printed across the chest. I was wrong. After randomly picking Unladylike up to flip through, I found myself deeply engaged on every page. The authors introduce a range of definitions, case studies and depictions so that even the most seasoned feminists will finish the book having learned something new. I really enjoyed the creative infographics woven throughout that help illustrate ideas in practice. The book also centres feminist thinkers throughout the years that have been hugely influential in shaping our contemporary understanding of the patriarchy.
Unladylike is engaging enough to be a leisurely read, bold enough to be an activist toolkit and informative enough to be a post-secondary learning resource.
I received this book as a gift a few years ago and never felt called to read it. I thought it might be the literary equivalent of a fast fashion t-shirt with the words "feminist" printed across the chest. I was wrong. After randomly picking Unladylike up to flip through, I found myself deeply engaged on every page. The authors introduce a range of definitions, case studies and depictions so that even the most seasoned feminists will finish the book having learned something new. I really enjoyed the creative infographics woven throughout that help illustrate ideas in practice. The book also centres feminist thinkers throughout the years that have been hugely influential in shaping our contemporary understanding of the patriarchy.
Unladylike is engaging enough to be a leisurely read, bold enough to be an activist toolkit and informative enough to be a post-secondary learning resource.
July 30, 2019
I appreciate this for what it was and I did learn some things in terms of historical figures that I hadn't heard of. The rest of it was concepts that I already knew or been exposed to, but as I said, I feel like it's good to have it all in one place and I would definitely recommend it to people looking for a good essentials kit for feminism.
November 11, 2022
Patriarchy drives me crazy. When the world disregards our accomplishments, gaslights our lived experiences, brainwashes us into self-sabotaging beliefs, and drowns out our voices with insidious narratives designed to prop up the power structure, it's critical to clap back and claim space. Though the rhythm and rhyme of this book took me a while to appreciate, I'm certainly glad it exists. I recall having to read a bewildering array of source material to bushwhack and debate my way to consciousness and concepts we've got definite vocabularies for, today. A women's studies minor who moved to Texas and lived through a prolonged period when self-defining as a feminist was WAY out of vogue, it's gratifying to see the Unladylike gals making it cool to name and tame patriarchy's pitfalls. They do it across every aspect of life — because that's where it hides in plain sight. And it's fascinating. And it's empowering. In my own lifelong pursuit of good mental-emotional health, someone finally clued me in to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). After untold years of helpful — but, let's admit it, somewhat aimless — talk therapy, I was struck by CBT's practical beauty. Never will forget the time I read a list of "thinking errors" CBT defines. "Thinking errors?" thought I. "Nah, that's just thinking!" Obviously, had some work to do on my thought-feeling-behavior cycle — but the paranoid version had been modeled for me since childhood. You know, by my mom. See, patriarchy drove her crazy, too. No doubt it did a worse number on her — I'm indebted to the generations of women that came before me. Apparently tho, the crazy-making is ongoing. One thing that struck me about this book is how CBT it is. Much of the work here is the Unladylike gals disrupting the steady stream of gaslight and hogwash we're forced to inhale and/or swallow, and replacing it with CBT-inspired honest and practical approaches to self care. It's women deciding to regard our own accomplishments, and get clear on what blocks them. To trust our lived experiences, and get clear on who doesn't want to see them. To care for ourselves, believe in ourselves, and get clear on what normal really is for us. To speak for ourselves, tell the truth of our stories, and get clear on both feelings and facts. Thought I was an old hand at this feminist stuff. But, reading the field guide immediately inspired me to claim more space for who I really am. Well done, unladies. Well done.
November 26, 2019
Exclusively boring read! The book is comprised of statistics and history of women’s oppression throughout the last couple of centuries and dates in the most formal, dry language. It’s impersonal, which of course makes you disconnected from the narrative.
I was expecting this book to be a manual on how to survive, being a person with a vagina, but in the end it’s just the list of how they do us wrong every day. I don’t need a reminder, I fucking know all of it already. What to do with it is the qs! If anything this book is making me more depressed about my glum world.
I was expecting this book to be a manual on how to survive, being a person with a vagina, but in the end it’s just the list of how they do us wrong every day. I don’t need a reminder, I fucking know all of it already. What to do with it is the qs! If anything this book is making me more depressed about my glum world.
November 21, 2018
If you enjoy the "Unladylike" podcast; or enjoyed "Stuff Your Mom Never Told You hosted by Cristen and Caroline then you will enjoy this book completely!
Not only is it jam packed with facts and useful information but it is also aesthetically pleasing. The illustrations really set this apart from a lot of very similar books.
I have read a ton of "feminist" focused books so a lot of these was repetitive to me; but I would highly recommend this to someone looking for information on how to space the patriarchy and make their own space in this crazy world. Even though much was not new to me I found it a very enjoyable read.
Not only is it jam packed with facts and useful information but it is also aesthetically pleasing. The illustrations really set this apart from a lot of very similar books.
I have read a ton of "feminist" focused books so a lot of these was repetitive to me; but I would highly recommend this to someone looking for information on how to space the patriarchy and make their own space in this crazy world. Even though much was not new to me I found it a very enjoyable read.
June 28, 2022
Just what I needed right now
August 24, 2023
I really wanted to like this book. For starters, the title is clever. And given the illustrations and writing style, it’s clear that the intended audience is younger women, apparently millennials—not sure why not Gen Z, but okay. The thesis description notes that “there’s been no handy guide that holistically addresses what top-to-bottom, brains-to-butt-hair, inclusive feminist living can look like regardless of who you are. _Unladylike_ is the hell-raising how-to y’all deserve—the one we wish we’d had while learn to crawl as baby feminist years ago, fresh out of college and sideswiped by professional sexism.” Young women need a guide to feminism. I know this because not so long ago, before and after the time when this book came out, I was teaching Introduction to Gender Studies classes to young women who had no clue. Sadly, this book doesn’t, in my view, answer the need. Indeed, it contains some misinformation that is potentially downright dangerous. More on that later.
In general, it spends too much time on talking about history—the “Lady” ideology it aims to challenge—and not enough time describing problems of today. I happen to be interested in women’s history, but I know from depressing experience that most young women really could care less about much that happened before they were born, and this book spends a LOT of time on the nineteenth century through 1960s. The book’s best section is the “Money Pits” chapter, dealing with, obviously, economic issues. It focuses almost exclusively on contemporary issues: wage inequality, glass ceilings, the fact that commodities for women are over priced—pink razors vs. blue razors, for example. It’s refreshingly current and appropriately enraging.
Sadly, even this chapter, like all the others, falls short of the title’s promise to tell readers ways of “smashing the patriarchy and claiming your space.” Where is the “hell-raising how-to”? Heck, there’s not even a suggestion to buy the damn blue razor instead of the pink one! There’s a vague hint that union organizing has helped with wage gaps in some job categories but certainly no overt advice to apply that record of success to the reader’s own circumstance, much less how that might be done. Meanwhile the chapter on beauty myths, to cite just one example, spends time on corsets and other relics of history but says zippo about who benefits (other than, vaguely, “the patriarchy”) from women’s carefully marketed insecurities about their appearance and the resulting obsessive purchase of diet and cosmetic products. The authors lose the opportunity to make the reader mad and settle for anodyne blather about “you be you.”
There’s a final chapter devoted (almost) exclusively to information on actual activism, and it contains some useful advice (and a lot of vague generalizations). The good suggestions would be bolstered by more examples to illustrate HOW to do things like “call your lawmakers.” And it would have been helpful if the book’s introduction and maybe the individual chapters had alerted readers to the upcoming final chapter about activism. And, again, the individual chapters would have been strengthened by suggestions related to each chapter’s focus.
Here, finally, is the potentially dangerous part of the book. The authors seem more interested in a breezy, humorous style, in the tradition of YA fiction (“brains-to-butt-hair”), than in precise writing. (Mind you, I like YA fiction, so that’s not my complaint.) Their citations and bibliography indicate worthy sources, but their summaries of those sources are wildly imprecise. I could cite several historical statements that are only partly true, but I’ll stick with one example, of a half-truth that is potentially dangerous—and not just intellectually: “Between 1940 and 1960, douching was the go-to birth control method among American women, and Lysol was the most popular rinse. . . . Housewives couldn’t legally get their hands on birth control until 1965.” No, no, no. First, and most alarming, this gives the impression that douching with today’s modern household cleaner is a legitimate emergency contraceptive. Yes, later in the paragraph, the authors say that five women died from Lysol douching, but they neglect to mention that Lysol’s formula has changed since 1940, and to someone desperate for a morning after contraceptive, five deaths might seem like a small number for the “go-to method” that, for all one can tell, worked for twenty years. Scary. The description of Lysol douches also carelessly conflates home abortions with birth control, and heaven knows the stereotype of the woman who uses abortion as birth control doesn’t need to be trotted out by self-identified feminists. Careless writing is no excuse. Anyway, the statement is only partially true. First, condoms were, overall, the most common method of birth control prior to the pill, though of course that’s assuming a cooperative and considerate male partner. In other words, “go-to method among American women” is a half-truth: “go-to” among women whose partners are douches is more like it. As for “housewives couldn’t legally get their hands on birth control,” I call B.S. It’s true that single women, in a lot of U.S. states, were unable to get prescriptions for birth control, but my mother, who managed to bear only two planned children and used Planned Parenthood as a young wife in the 1930s (and donated to them until the day she died in gratitude), did NOT use Lysol; my best guess—as we did not discuss it—was that my parents used a combination of diaphragm and condom. Incidentally, not all married women were “housewives” before 1965; my mother held professional jobs most of her life, and the authors completely forget their intention of avoiding classicism and racism in overlooking all the women who couldn’t afford the luxury of being housewives. I’m frankly mildly horrified that positive reviews of this book praised its historical information. I wish people would read some GOOD women’s history instead. I also wish this chapter had provided more concrete information about birth control options, as young women are astonishingly Ill-informed about contraceptives. Subsequent events suggest more information about the serious challenges to abortion access would have been appropriate as well. I don’t even think this is a “hindsight is 20/20” thing, as threats to abortion access were already widespread in 2017.
The bottom line is that this book is not at all what it could and should be. A book I recommend instead, despite the fact that it’s a textbook, is Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions by Lisa Wade and Myra Marx Ferree. It’s accurate, extremely readable, and does a far better job than _Unladylike_ at explaining the issues. It’s quite brilliant at explaining the underpinnings of rape culture. And it manages to advocate feminism and smashing the patriarchy without man hating. If you don’t know how that’s possible, you don’t understand feminism, a state of affairs _Unladylike_ won’t do much to remedy.
In general, it spends too much time on talking about history—the “Lady” ideology it aims to challenge—and not enough time describing problems of today. I happen to be interested in women’s history, but I know from depressing experience that most young women really could care less about much that happened before they were born, and this book spends a LOT of time on the nineteenth century through 1960s. The book’s best section is the “Money Pits” chapter, dealing with, obviously, economic issues. It focuses almost exclusively on contemporary issues: wage inequality, glass ceilings, the fact that commodities for women are over priced—pink razors vs. blue razors, for example. It’s refreshingly current and appropriately enraging.
Sadly, even this chapter, like all the others, falls short of the title’s promise to tell readers ways of “smashing the patriarchy and claiming your space.” Where is the “hell-raising how-to”? Heck, there’s not even a suggestion to buy the damn blue razor instead of the pink one! There’s a vague hint that union organizing has helped with wage gaps in some job categories but certainly no overt advice to apply that record of success to the reader’s own circumstance, much less how that might be done. Meanwhile the chapter on beauty myths, to cite just one example, spends time on corsets and other relics of history but says zippo about who benefits (other than, vaguely, “the patriarchy”) from women’s carefully marketed insecurities about their appearance and the resulting obsessive purchase of diet and cosmetic products. The authors lose the opportunity to make the reader mad and settle for anodyne blather about “you be you.”
There’s a final chapter devoted (almost) exclusively to information on actual activism, and it contains some useful advice (and a lot of vague generalizations). The good suggestions would be bolstered by more examples to illustrate HOW to do things like “call your lawmakers.” And it would have been helpful if the book’s introduction and maybe the individual chapters had alerted readers to the upcoming final chapter about activism. And, again, the individual chapters would have been strengthened by suggestions related to each chapter’s focus.
Here, finally, is the potentially dangerous part of the book. The authors seem more interested in a breezy, humorous style, in the tradition of YA fiction (“brains-to-butt-hair”), than in precise writing. (Mind you, I like YA fiction, so that’s not my complaint.) Their citations and bibliography indicate worthy sources, but their summaries of those sources are wildly imprecise. I could cite several historical statements that are only partly true, but I’ll stick with one example, of a half-truth that is potentially dangerous—and not just intellectually: “Between 1940 and 1960, douching was the go-to birth control method among American women, and Lysol was the most popular rinse. . . . Housewives couldn’t legally get their hands on birth control until 1965.” No, no, no. First, and most alarming, this gives the impression that douching with today’s modern household cleaner is a legitimate emergency contraceptive. Yes, later in the paragraph, the authors say that five women died from Lysol douching, but they neglect to mention that Lysol’s formula has changed since 1940, and to someone desperate for a morning after contraceptive, five deaths might seem like a small number for the “go-to method” that, for all one can tell, worked for twenty years. Scary. The description of Lysol douches also carelessly conflates home abortions with birth control, and heaven knows the stereotype of the woman who uses abortion as birth control doesn’t need to be trotted out by self-identified feminists. Careless writing is no excuse. Anyway, the statement is only partially true. First, condoms were, overall, the most common method of birth control prior to the pill, though of course that’s assuming a cooperative and considerate male partner. In other words, “go-to method among American women” is a half-truth: “go-to” among women whose partners are douches is more like it. As for “housewives couldn’t legally get their hands on birth control,” I call B.S. It’s true that single women, in a lot of U.S. states, were unable to get prescriptions for birth control, but my mother, who managed to bear only two planned children and used Planned Parenthood as a young wife in the 1930s (and donated to them until the day she died in gratitude), did NOT use Lysol; my best guess—as we did not discuss it—was that my parents used a combination of diaphragm and condom. Incidentally, not all married women were “housewives” before 1965; my mother held professional jobs most of her life, and the authors completely forget their intention of avoiding classicism and racism in overlooking all the women who couldn’t afford the luxury of being housewives. I’m frankly mildly horrified that positive reviews of this book praised its historical information. I wish people would read some GOOD women’s history instead. I also wish this chapter had provided more concrete information about birth control options, as young women are astonishingly Ill-informed about contraceptives. Subsequent events suggest more information about the serious challenges to abortion access would have been appropriate as well. I don’t even think this is a “hindsight is 20/20” thing, as threats to abortion access were already widespread in 2017.
The bottom line is that this book is not at all what it could and should be. A book I recommend instead, despite the fact that it’s a textbook, is Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions by Lisa Wade and Myra Marx Ferree. It’s accurate, extremely readable, and does a far better job than _Unladylike_ at explaining the issues. It’s quite brilliant at explaining the underpinnings of rape culture. And it manages to advocate feminism and smashing the patriarchy without man hating. If you don’t know how that’s possible, you don’t understand feminism, a state of affairs _Unladylike_ won’t do much to remedy.
October 13, 2018
It reads just like their podcast. And though I love their podcast it was a little off putting to have that same casual banter style in book form.
I still recommend this book though. Cristen and Caroline really covered a lot of current issues affecting women in America and their artist did a great job in depicting a very wide range of bodies and ethnicities.
I still recommend this book though. Cristen and Caroline really covered a lot of current issues affecting women in America and their artist did a great job in depicting a very wide range of bodies and ethnicities.
June 5, 2019
If you enjoyed the podcast "Stuff Mom Never Told You", you'll enjoy Christin and Caroline's book. In many ways it is a collection of all topics from their hit podcast, but without their personal stories or opinions. They attempt to be objective and educate their readers as they did in "Stuff Mom Never Told You." With references to themselves completely lacking until the acknowledgements, I didn't realize it was them who authored it. Now I know why I enjoyed it so much. Highly recommend the audiobook version if you miss hearing their voices.
It's a simple and informative tool for any reader. Adults can clarify and deepen their understanding of certain topics, while adolescents can use it as a textbook for many of the questions they likely have never had addressed. Solidarity, activism, and staying informed and empathetic for the struggles of others are cornerstones of their message.
It's a simple and informative tool for any reader. Adults can clarify and deepen their understanding of certain topics, while adolescents can use it as a textbook for many of the questions they likely have never had addressed. Solidarity, activism, and staying informed and empathetic for the struggles of others are cornerstones of their message.
November 18, 2018
The book has some great content and I think achieves its goal of serving as a feminism field guide. However, things felt a bit scattered at times and some of the infographics were logically inconsistent. I love Cristen and Caroline, but I prefer them more as podcasters than as authors.
August 11, 2020
This book is a good introduction to feminism. It touches on a wide range of areas that are impacted by sexism, but as an avid fan of their podcast, I was underwhelmed by the level of depth in this book. There were a lot of times in the book that I recognized an idea they were referencing because they had done a whole podcast on it (eg. Women's empowerment through bike riding) and I was craving the level of detail they give in the podcast as opposed to the quick overview in this book. I definitely think it's worth reading, and if I had read this a year and a half ago before I started my exploration into feminism, I think I would have absolutely loved it. The authors do explicitly say this is meant for budding feminists and I think they're spot on! For me it was worth a read, but not necessarily a re-read. Though there are definitely some people I would recommend this book to!
July 15, 2019
(3.75/5 Stars)If you've listened to the podcast, this book is covers a lot of similar topics. It definitely staid true to their voice. I love all the illustrations, I think they make this a really special book to own. I think this is a great gift to give any young woman who might need a little inspiration or to develop their outlook on the world. It's also good for anyone else just looking to expend their knowledge on gender politics and the history behind them.
Overall it was a bit slow, very dense with a lot of text, but it's all good information. I decided to read it over a few months rather than in one sitting. Great work!
Overall it was a bit slow, very dense with a lot of text, but it's all good information. I decided to read it over a few months rather than in one sitting. Great work!
August 21, 2021
I love the Unladylike podcast, so I'd been meaning to read this for a while. It reads a bit like a textbook - and is laid out that way - but it's not dry. It's a great read, and has really actionable advice for getting involved in social justice and practicing intersectional feminism.
April 25, 2020
An excellent book for ANYONE! I appreciated the well research and inspired text that felt like it broke down the giant and overwhelming realm of advocacy and intersectional oppression.
November 27, 2025
It was not for me, as it had too much descriptions of sex, and certain parts I wasn’t comfortable reading about.
November 17, 2018
An excellent starting point for young women looking to know more about feminism.
December 4, 2018
So great and educational.
November 25, 2019
such a fun book! not particularly groundbreaking or new in terms of what it says but i love it nonetheless! it's staying on display on my bookshelf forever!
November 13, 2018
This was a great book . I leaned about feminism and the patriarchy . It is a timely book .
November 19, 2018
This would be particularly good for people new to the intersectional feminist movement - but enthusiastic about changing the world. I knew 99% of this stuff, but it was still affirming to hear it.
October 29, 2018
This book is awesome. As a seasoned feminist, most of the information was familiar to me, though I did learn a lot of new fun factoids. It would make a great gift for a young feminist, or could even be used as a supplementary textbook in an intro to feminist studies class.
March 4, 2021
Very much a basics to feminism 101. While loaded with all sorts of patriarchal and misogynistic factoids and slights across time to get your female (gay, or trans, or black, or Hispanic, or Asian) blood boiling, the material is all over the place. I could not discern a logical flow with the material. It was a random jumble of good to moderately interesting information. Basically, I just trudged on and gleaned what I could when I could. At the end of each section, they offered up clap-backs or ways to respond to the unfair/unjust treatment. The attempts at any humor fall flat for me. Some of the advice still suggested women adjust themselves to suit the situation (such as with the women in work and their tone). Just saying, while the bulk of the book was essentially pro (mostly white) female (generally straight) feminists, there were hints of dated or contradictory advice. Still, a worthwhile read but don't listen aloud to the audiobook in an office setting as they go into excruciating detail about your vag in one of their random chapters.
Sidebar: I came across a review elsewhere where a guy responded to the theme of feminism by saying, "Suggestions that 53% of the population are all oppressed, you have the majority; fix it, don’t bitch about it." Um, dude. I get a man, from a point of privilege who wants to man-splain how to fix the problem to us poor ladies who aren't "bitching about it" but who ARE trying to fix the situation. We're just getting exhausting, unfair amounts of resistance. Problem is, we have people in power (*cough* mostly rich old white guys) who refuse to lessen their death grip on their patriarchal, antiquated mindset on what women should be and who we actually are. Men who are clueless about how the female anatomy works, for example, but who dictate the policies that govern over how our female bodies are treated. When we've victimized or raped, we're often held to an unfair standard and victim-blamed for "being in the wrong place" or "wearing the wrong thing" when what we should be doing is teaching men how the female body is not something men are inherently entitled to and NOT to rape women, irrespective of what she's doing (likely taking a jog, just like a man would, but told she was wrong to because it isn't safe for her to run alone). Why not? Men get to run, for example, without being harassed or cruised on by rude, entitled people who think we owe them our time when we don't. Whatever. I am tired of men blaming victim-blaming women for not having moved further in our equality, saying we're just bitching when we're trying to get the word out there. I bet he calls his girlfriend or wife a nag too when she dares to ask him (nicely, cringe) to do his equal share at home. We're trying, you're just holding us back while we do.
Sidebar: I came across a review elsewhere where a guy responded to the theme of feminism by saying, "Suggestions that 53% of the population are all oppressed, you have the majority; fix it, don’t bitch about it." Um, dude. I get a man, from a point of privilege who wants to man-splain how to fix the problem to us poor ladies who aren't "bitching about it" but who ARE trying to fix the situation. We're just getting exhausting, unfair amounts of resistance. Problem is, we have people in power (*cough* mostly rich old white guys) who refuse to lessen their death grip on their patriarchal, antiquated mindset on what women should be and who we actually are. Men who are clueless about how the female anatomy works, for example, but who dictate the policies that govern over how our female bodies are treated. When we've victimized or raped, we're often held to an unfair standard and victim-blamed for "being in the wrong place" or "wearing the wrong thing" when what we should be doing is teaching men how the female body is not something men are inherently entitled to and NOT to rape women, irrespective of what she's doing (likely taking a jog, just like a man would, but told she was wrong to because it isn't safe for her to run alone). Why not? Men get to run, for example, without being harassed or cruised on by rude, entitled people who think we owe them our time when we don't. Whatever. I am tired of men blaming victim-blaming women for not having moved further in our equality, saying we're just bitching when we're trying to get the word out there. I bet he calls his girlfriend or wife a nag too when she dares to ask him (nicely, cringe) to do his equal share at home. We're trying, you're just holding us back while we do.
October 7, 2018
Fabulous and reminds me of The Care and Keeping of You, but for incredibly important topics. I was impressed at how wide-ranging and diverse the content was. Great job and I can’t wait to see what you do next.
May 5, 2019
My first nonfiction book of 2019. Did not disappoint! I loved the intersectionality (this was a great improvement from all of those "Influential Women" books where 99% of them are white and/or racist). This book features information on many women of many different ethnicities, nationalities, and time periods, with descriptions on their influence in feminism.
This book reminded me of Earth Hates Me: True Confessions from a Teenage Girl in the sense that it covers pretty much everything involved. There are sections on sexual harassment, rape culture, body image, economic inequality (which actually mentions the even lower wage gap that affects women of color-well done!), and how to make yourself heard. As a teenage girl who has been involved in social justice issues for almost 3 years, this section was very helpful to me.
This book reminded me of Earth Hates Me: True Confessions from a Teenage Girl in the sense that it covers pretty much everything involved. There are sections on sexual harassment, rape culture, body image, economic inequality (which actually mentions the even lower wage gap that affects women of color-well done!), and how to make yourself heard. As a teenage girl who has been involved in social justice issues for almost 3 years, this section was very helpful to me.
February 7, 2019
Content that breaks down all aspects of the female identity and gender politics, charming illustrations, and well-researched history and descriptions of current studies and past women. I've been following the authors for years now, from listening to their original podcast Stuff Mom Never Told You, and I'm a fan. I would actually give this more of a 4.5 as there were a few statements that I questioned in the book (mainly around mental health statistics between men and women and how often people reach out for help - as my background is in counselling, and I wondered if these were accurate - and they were some of the few facts not cited). I had that issue very few times though. Overall, it's a slow and sometimes dense read (despite the illustrations), but actually very enjoyable, and worth it. I'd recommend it to anyone - woman or man - interested in equity between genders.
July 14, 2019
AUDIOBOOK USERS - This book utilizes a pdf fairly frequently to illustrate certain points, and while this is fun for sighted people and purchasers of the book, your library copy of the audiobook might not have access to the pdf, and pdfs are not read-able by many text-to-speech screen readers, so blind readers might get annoyed as well. Generally, the book is very informative, though. The only thing I didn't like is that it didn't cover as much about trans individuals as I was hoping. I still like the book and would recommend it to my sighted cis-gendered friends any day, but I'm not sure that my trans friends would like it as much.
April 23, 2019
I enjoyed reading about various feminists throughout history and loved the conversational tone of this. However. This was written by two white, straight cis women. Surely you can find a woman of color or lgbtq and use your platform to amplify her voice? I don’t know how you could write a book about inclusion and not include anyone who doesn’t look like you in the writing of it. It’s frustrating and feels wrong.
September 16, 2021
DNF
The constant blaming of "men" was driving me crazy. We as women can and usually are just as much to blame for keeping other women down as men are. Just after claiming that they are open to many different views the authors then go on to bash on Christianity. It is obvious they have not spoken to any women of the Christian faith in researching for this book. Give me the facts and ideas for change.
The constant blaming of "men" was driving me crazy. We as women can and usually are just as much to blame for keeping other women down as men are. Just after claiming that they are open to many different views the authors then go on to bash on Christianity. It is obvious they have not spoken to any women of the Christian faith in researching for this book. Give me the facts and ideas for change.
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