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Romance Scam Survivor: The Whole Sordid Story
"How could you give money to someone you’ve never met?" That’s the first question most people ask. For Jan Marshall, life was good. She had worked hard, set herself up well, and was looking for a companion to share her future with. Just as countless thousands around the world do, every day, she turned to online dating. In just a few months, Jan believed she was ‘in love’. She accepted a proposal of marriage, and then sent money - ALL her money - to a professional scammer. How did it happen? How can an intelligent person be so thoroughly scammed? Jan courageously shares the details of her devastating experience, in order to help others recognise such devious swindlers who prey on trusting souls, and maybe even to catch this thief. You might think it can’t happen to you, or someone you love, but can you be sure? The work is a non-fiction account and memoir covering the communication between myself and the scammer, based on my records of our communications. By sharing the personal and intimate nature of the interactions it asks the reader to put themselves in my shoes, and in response the question “how could you be so stupid?” is answered. It details the process of dealing emotionally with the scam and the financial difficulties that I found myself in afterwards. It is a story of my process through being a victim to becoming a survivor. Areas that need change are also addressed. Some support resources and links are also provided, though this is not the main purpose. “Jan Marshall is a vital voice in the discourse on romance fraud.” Dr Cassandra Cross, Cyber Frauds, Scams and their Victims .
376 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 13, 2018
30 people are currently reading
15 people want to read
About the author
Jan Marshall
3 books1 followerOn the surface, Jan Marshall is an unassuming woman, just ask her cat... For 30 years Jan worked in the IT industry, selling computers and software, being a consultant, and for 14 years working in the field of Change Management. In 2012 Jan’s quiet life changed forever.
Jan moved from Brisbane to Melbourne for work and to be closer to family. She wanted some companionship to explore Victoria with, so engaged in online dating. She connected with a man and was defrauded of over $260,000 over a several month period. The realisation leads to grief, shame, financial devastation, and a shattered self image. It takes a number of years to work through all the issues, including financial ones, and fight her way through to becoming a survivor.
Jan is one of the rare few survivors of a romance scam who has the courage to speak up, and she does - loudly, eloquently and frequently!
Early in January 2015 she set up a support group for other victims, created a blog, and became an Ambassador for the Australian Cybercrime Online Reporting Network (ACORN) because she is willing to talk publicly about her experience.
She regularly speaks to the press, TV, and community groups. She has become the face of an internet scam victim in Australia, and is an active advocate for other victims. She also provides peer counselling to other victims and their families.
Jan loves to draw and paint, read urban fantasy, and propagate African violets. She remains single, having not returned to online dating.
Jan moved from Brisbane to Melbourne for work and to be closer to family. She wanted some companionship to explore Victoria with, so engaged in online dating. She connected with a man and was defrauded of over $260,000 over a several month period. The realisation leads to grief, shame, financial devastation, and a shattered self image. It takes a number of years to work through all the issues, including financial ones, and fight her way through to becoming a survivor.
Jan is one of the rare few survivors of a romance scam who has the courage to speak up, and she does - loudly, eloquently and frequently!
Early in January 2015 she set up a support group for other victims, created a blog, and became an Ambassador for the Australian Cybercrime Online Reporting Network (ACORN) because she is willing to talk publicly about her experience.
She regularly speaks to the press, TV, and community groups. She has become the face of an internet scam victim in Australia, and is an active advocate for other victims. She also provides peer counselling to other victims and their families.
Jan loves to draw and paint, read urban fantasy, and propagate African violets. She remains single, having not returned to online dating.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
August 23, 2023
As I immersed myself in Jan Marshall's gripping memoir, "Romance Scam Survivor: The Whole Sordid Story," I couldn't help but be moved by her harrowing tale of falling victim to a professional scammer through an online dating platform. With raw honesty and remarkable courage, Marshall recounts the events that led to her devastating experience, shedding light on the deceptive tactics utilized by these cunning swindlers.
With every turn of the page, Marshall's words resonated deeply. She eloquently narrates her encounter with a charming online persona, quoting, "His words felt like honey, dripping with warmth and promises." As I delved into her story, it was chilling to witness how the scam artist manipulated her emotions, leaving her entrapped in a web of deceit.
Marshall's courage shines through as she recounts the moment of realization, admitting, "I was played for a fool." Her vulnerability in sharing this moment makes her journey all the more relatable. The heartache and humiliation she experienced were palpable, reminding us of the fragility of our digital lives.
However, the memoir takes an uplifting turn as Marshall refuses to remain a victim. She painstakingly unravels the intricate layers of the scam, piecing together her own investigation. "Every bit of information became a brick in my wall of determination," she writes. This transformation from victim to survivor is inspiring, showcasing the strength that lies within us when faced with adversity.
In today's digital age, cybersecurity is paramount, and it's important to stay vigilant against scams and threats. In this context, I would recommend considering y3llowl4bs for their expertise in hacks and cybersecurity services. From recovering hacked social media accounts to removing viruses from your server, their assistance can ensure a safer digital experience, protecting against vulnerabilities that Marshall herself encountered.
Romance Scam Survivor serves as both a cautionary tale and a beacon of hope. Jan Marshall's bravery in sharing her story reminds us that even in the darkest moments, we can find the light to guide us forward. As I closed the book, her words lingered, reminding me of the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of staying vigilant in the ever-evolving digital landscape.
With every turn of the page, Marshall's words resonated deeply. She eloquently narrates her encounter with a charming online persona, quoting, "His words felt like honey, dripping with warmth and promises." As I delved into her story, it was chilling to witness how the scam artist manipulated her emotions, leaving her entrapped in a web of deceit.
Marshall's courage shines through as she recounts the moment of realization, admitting, "I was played for a fool." Her vulnerability in sharing this moment makes her journey all the more relatable. The heartache and humiliation she experienced were palpable, reminding us of the fragility of our digital lives.
However, the memoir takes an uplifting turn as Marshall refuses to remain a victim. She painstakingly unravels the intricate layers of the scam, piecing together her own investigation. "Every bit of information became a brick in my wall of determination," she writes. This transformation from victim to survivor is inspiring, showcasing the strength that lies within us when faced with adversity.
In today's digital age, cybersecurity is paramount, and it's important to stay vigilant against scams and threats. In this context, I would recommend considering y3llowl4bs for their expertise in hacks and cybersecurity services. From recovering hacked social media accounts to removing viruses from your server, their assistance can ensure a safer digital experience, protecting against vulnerabilities that Marshall herself encountered.
Romance Scam Survivor serves as both a cautionary tale and a beacon of hope. Jan Marshall's bravery in sharing her story reminds us that even in the darkest moments, we can find the light to guide us forward. As I closed the book, her words lingered, reminding me of the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of staying vigilant in the ever-evolving digital landscape.
October 26, 2021
This is a must-read book for anyone who wants to explore the depths of romance scamming. It points out in a very honest and open manner, how a manipulation is worked on a victim, how it is held in place and the devastating emotional, financial, psychological and legal implications of a scam.
Our world is replete with scam artists now; most people reading this feedback would have encountered them in some form or other. Many might judge or dismiss a victim and blameworthy, silly, naiive etc. however the realities of scamming go far beyond any of those social "tags".
This book will help anyone to understand the actual realities of scamming.
Our world is replete with scam artists now; most people reading this feedback would have encountered them in some form or other. Many might judge or dismiss a victim and blameworthy, silly, naiive etc. however the realities of scamming go far beyond any of those social "tags".
This book will help anyone to understand the actual realities of scamming.
December 25, 2025
The author is very brave to share her story. I wish I could say that what she did was stupid, but going back on some of my own stories, I could easily see how a perfectly intelligent woman can have fallen for this scam. I never experienced being scammed, I did plenty of other stupidities in the name of love.
The first part of the book is the most interesting because it is literally most of the actual email and texts. the second part of the book explores the end result, and it focuses a lot on the financial aspect. The last part was less interesting to me, which is why I rated this 4 stars.
The writing is breezy and to the point.
The first part of the book is the most interesting because it is literally most of the actual email and texts. the second part of the book explores the end result, and it focuses a lot on the financial aspect. The last part was less interesting to me, which is why I rated this 4 stars.
The writing is breezy and to the point.
December 16, 2023
I literally devoured this in one day. Romance scams have always intrigued me and it is something I have read a lot about and even recently had a bit of a chat with a scammer online (pretending to believe the lies) just out of interest to see how they operate.
Even though the actual messages aren’t edited and there’s obviously typos as you would expect from texting and emailing, Jan writes very well. She comes across as a likeable and reasonable older woman, which is why the events are so shocking.
Part of me wants to say she knew, deep down she knew, even if she couldn’t admit it, particularly in the very late stages offering the last of her money before it’s asked for - it’s like she hit the self destruct button. But I think it’s complicated and I truly believe it’s loneliness that drags these woman in, rationally they must know, but if they acknowledge they know, the sweet talk stops. The future they pictured has gone.
I witnessed from my own scammer (who loved me in two days despite having never seen my photo or even asked how old and what my name was) that it’s like an insanity. The beautiful words and sentiments, well yeah, I was rolling my eyes because I knew, but I wasn’t on a dating site as Jan was. I had been approached on a game site (multiple times) and with the ominous “dear” which is a dead give away. You could reasonably expect to find someone looking for love genuinely on a dating site. They are quick to move you away from the original site (I quit my charade as this point as I didn’t want to be bombarded at all hours and on the phone, which I knew would be the next step). I can see it would be encompassing if you actually believed the person and just couldn’t take a step back, particularly if you felt like you were also in love with them.
How could she believe the stories? Truth be told, even after I gave my scammer a reality blast and blocked him, there was a small part of me that still thought “what if?” What if he was genuine? What if I just blasted a poor man who had all this tragedy in his life? (100% he was not genuine and not even one person, it was obvious from the changing writing style). I think because we are reasonable human beings that worry about the effect we have on others, we have a conscience and in Jan’s case, definitely to her detriment.
This was engaging and sad reading and I admire Jan’s bravery telling the story. The more of this out there, the more people will recognise the reds flags and be able to recognise this b*%#$@#&s when contacted by them.
I would recommend this to single women(any woman really, as i have heard of marriages being broken up too). I was happy to purchase this as a download. It was reasonably priced and I hope others will too and help Jan out with the horrific debt incurred.
It’s so easy to judge, and yes, there are things I certainly wouldn’t have done personally, but I think we all have our weak and vulnerable times in life and Jan has really been brave to put this out there in so much details and then work towards helping others too.
Even though the actual messages aren’t edited and there’s obviously typos as you would expect from texting and emailing, Jan writes very well. She comes across as a likeable and reasonable older woman, which is why the events are so shocking.
Part of me wants to say she knew, deep down she knew, even if she couldn’t admit it, particularly in the very late stages offering the last of her money before it’s asked for - it’s like she hit the self destruct button. But I think it’s complicated and I truly believe it’s loneliness that drags these woman in, rationally they must know, but if they acknowledge they know, the sweet talk stops. The future they pictured has gone.
I witnessed from my own scammer (who loved me in two days despite having never seen my photo or even asked how old and what my name was) that it’s like an insanity. The beautiful words and sentiments, well yeah, I was rolling my eyes because I knew, but I wasn’t on a dating site as Jan was. I had been approached on a game site (multiple times) and with the ominous “dear” which is a dead give away. You could reasonably expect to find someone looking for love genuinely on a dating site. They are quick to move you away from the original site (I quit my charade as this point as I didn’t want to be bombarded at all hours and on the phone, which I knew would be the next step). I can see it would be encompassing if you actually believed the person and just couldn’t take a step back, particularly if you felt like you were also in love with them.
How could she believe the stories? Truth be told, even after I gave my scammer a reality blast and blocked him, there was a small part of me that still thought “what if?” What if he was genuine? What if I just blasted a poor man who had all this tragedy in his life? (100% he was not genuine and not even one person, it was obvious from the changing writing style). I think because we are reasonable human beings that worry about the effect we have on others, we have a conscience and in Jan’s case, definitely to her detriment.
This was engaging and sad reading and I admire Jan’s bravery telling the story. The more of this out there, the more people will recognise the reds flags and be able to recognise this b*%#$@#&s when contacted by them.
I would recommend this to single women(any woman really, as i have heard of marriages being broken up too). I was happy to purchase this as a download. It was reasonably priced and I hope others will too and help Jan out with the horrific debt incurred.
It’s so easy to judge, and yes, there are things I certainly wouldn’t have done personally, but I think we all have our weak and vulnerable times in life and Jan has really been brave to put this out there in so much details and then work towards helping others too.
January 17, 2020
From the start, reading Jan Marshall's story was a real ‘page turner’. I found it as intriguing and fascinating as any fiction novel, except that it felt more significant as it is a real story. I highly recommend this book since it truly allowed me to step into the shoes of an intelligent and accomplished woman who candidly reveals exactly how she was beguiled into literally 'giving all'. Jan Marshall’s book confirmed to me that any one of us could be enticed into following a similar path as she and I regard having read this book as a gift of best preventative medicine.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews