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I Will Not Fear: My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith under Fire
In 1957, Melba Beals was one of the nine African American students chosen to integrate Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas. But her story of overcoming didn't start--or end--there. While her white schoolmates were planning their senior prom, Melba was facing the business end of a double-barreled shotgun, being threatened with lynching by rope-carrying tormentors, and learning how to outrun white supremacists who were ready to kill her rather than sit beside her in a classroom. Only her faith in God sustained her during her darkest days and helped her become a civil rights warrior, an NBC television news reporter, a magazine writer, a professor, a wife, and a mother.
In I Will Not Fear , Beals takes readers on an unforgettable journey through terror, oppression, and persecution, highlighting the kind of faith needed to survive in a world full of heartbreak and anger. She shows how the deep faith we develop during our most difficult moments is the kind of faith that can change our families, our communities, and even the world. Encouraging and inspiring, Beals's story offers readers hope that faith is the solution to the pervasive hopelessness of our current culture.
In I Will Not Fear , Beals takes readers on an unforgettable journey through terror, oppression, and persecution, highlighting the kind of faith needed to survive in a world full of heartbreak and anger. She shows how the deep faith we develop during our most difficult moments is the kind of faith that can change our families, our communities, and even the world. Encouraging and inspiring, Beals's story offers readers hope that faith is the solution to the pervasive hopelessness of our current culture.
202 pages, Paperback
Published November 20, 2018
131 people are currently reading
1060 people want to read
About the author
Melba Pattillo Beals
10 books93 followersMelba Pattillo Beals made history as a member of the Little Rock Nine, the nine African-American students involved in the desegregation of Little Rock Central High School in 1957. The world watched as they braved constant intimidation and threats from those who opposed desegregation of the formerly all-white high school. She later recounted this harrowing year in her book titled Warriors Don’t Cry: A Searing Memoir of the Battle to Desegregate Little Rock’s Central High School.
Melba Pattillo was born on December 7, 1941, in Little Rock (Pulaski County). Beals grew up surrounded by family members who knew the importance of an education. Her mother, Lois Marie Pattillo, PhD, was one of the first black graduates of the University of Arkansas (UA) in Fayetteville (Washington County) in 1954 and was a high school English teacher at the time of the crisis. Her father, Howell Pattillo, worked for the Missouri Pacific Railroad. She had one brother, Conrad, who served as a U.S. marshal in Little Rock, and they all lived with her grandmother, India Peyton.
While attending all-black Horace Mann High School in Little Rock, she knew her educational opportunities were not equal to her white counterparts’ opportunities at Central High. In response to this inequality, Pattillo volunteered to transfer to the all-white Central High School with eight other black students from Horace Mann and Dunbar Junior High School. The Little Rock Nine, as they came to be known, faced daily harassment from white students. Beals later recounted that the soldier assigned to protect her instructed her, “In order to get through this year, you will have to become a soldier. Never let your enemy know what you are feeling.” Beals took the soldier’s advice, and, while the rest of the school year remained turbulent, all but one student, Minnijean Brown, was able to finish the school year. Barred from entering Central High the next year when the city’s schools were closed, Pattillo moved to Santa Rosa, California, to live with a sponsoring family who were members of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) for her senior year of high school.
In 1961, Pattillo married John Beals. They had one daughter but divorced after ten years of marriage. She subsequently adopted two boys.
Beals graduated from San Francisco State University with a BA in journalism and earned an MA in the same field from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism in New York. She has worked as a communications consultant, a motivational speaker, and as a reporter for San Francisco’s public television station and for the Bay Area’s NBC affiliate.
Beals was the first of the Little Rock Nine to write a book based on her experiences at Central High. Published in 1994, Warriors Don’t Cry gives a first-hand account of the trials Beals encountered from segregationists and racist students. The book was named the American Library Association (ALA) Notable Book for 1995 and won the Robert F. Kennedy Book Award that same year. White is a State of Mind, her 1999 sequel to Warriors Don’t Cry, follows Beals from her senior year in high school to her college and family days in California.
Beals was awarded the prestigious Spingarn Medal by the NAACP in 1958, along with other members of the Little Rock Nine and Daisy Bates, their mentor. In 1999, President Bill Clinton presented the nation’s highest civilian award, the Congressional Gold Medal, to the members of the Little Rock Nine. As of 2010, Beals lives in the San Francisco area and works as an author and public speaker.
Melba Pattillo was born on December 7, 1941, in Little Rock (Pulaski County). Beals grew up surrounded by family members who knew the importance of an education. Her mother, Lois Marie Pattillo, PhD, was one of the first black graduates of the University of Arkansas (UA) in Fayetteville (Washington County) in 1954 and was a high school English teacher at the time of the crisis. Her father, Howell Pattillo, worked for the Missouri Pacific Railroad. She had one brother, Conrad, who served as a U.S. marshal in Little Rock, and they all lived with her grandmother, India Peyton.
While attending all-black Horace Mann High School in Little Rock, she knew her educational opportunities were not equal to her white counterparts’ opportunities at Central High. In response to this inequality, Pattillo volunteered to transfer to the all-white Central High School with eight other black students from Horace Mann and Dunbar Junior High School. The Little Rock Nine, as they came to be known, faced daily harassment from white students. Beals later recounted that the soldier assigned to protect her instructed her, “In order to get through this year, you will have to become a soldier. Never let your enemy know what you are feeling.” Beals took the soldier’s advice, and, while the rest of the school year remained turbulent, all but one student, Minnijean Brown, was able to finish the school year. Barred from entering Central High the next year when the city’s schools were closed, Pattillo moved to Santa Rosa, California, to live with a sponsoring family who were members of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) for her senior year of high school.
In 1961, Pattillo married John Beals. They had one daughter but divorced after ten years of marriage. She subsequently adopted two boys.
Beals graduated from San Francisco State University with a BA in journalism and earned an MA in the same field from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism in New York. She has worked as a communications consultant, a motivational speaker, and as a reporter for San Francisco’s public television station and for the Bay Area’s NBC affiliate.
Beals was the first of the Little Rock Nine to write a book based on her experiences at Central High. Published in 1994, Warriors Don’t Cry gives a first-hand account of the trials Beals encountered from segregationists and racist students. The book was named the American Library Association (ALA) Notable Book for 1995 and won the Robert F. Kennedy Book Award that same year. White is a State of Mind, her 1999 sequel to Warriors Don’t Cry, follows Beals from her senior year in high school to her college and family days in California.
Beals was awarded the prestigious Spingarn Medal by the NAACP in 1958, along with other members of the Little Rock Nine and Daisy Bates, their mentor. In 1999, President Bill Clinton presented the nation’s highest civilian award, the Congressional Gold Medal, to the members of the Little Rock Nine. As of 2010, Beals lives in the San Francisco area and works as an author and public speaker.
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March 10, 2018
I was not very familiar with the history of the Little Rock Nine nor had I ever heard the name of Melba Pattillo Beals before hearing about this book so I had no idea what to expect when I began to read. As one of the nine African American high school students to be selected to integrate the all-white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas in 1957, Melba's story is one of incredible fortitude and resoluteness in the face of adversity. Her memoirs are filled with awful moments of gross injustice, physical attacks, and even death threats yet she chose to never retaliate in like manner. She stood firm and spoke out when necessary, but she didn't resort to the low behaviors of those who would torment (both verbally and physically) her and her family.
At around 200 pages, this is a short book, but it packs a hefty message. Beals begins the narrative with the story of her birth and shares the struggles her mother endured just to simply get hospital care with her difficult pregnancy. She continues her story with highlights from her life—which are told in mostly chronological order—and brings the reader up through current day. While she does spend a few chapters on the events surrounding the integration of the high school in Little Rock, it is not the main focal point of the book and she moves on to focus primarily on her life following that period. (See her other books, Warriors Don’t Cry and March Forward, Girl, for more about her early years in Arkansas.)
Beals' grandmother, "Grandma India", had a great impact on her in her formative days and that influence has stayed with her to this day. Throughout the book, she references anecdotes about her grandmother and recounts conversations and oft-quoted sayings that Grandma India said. A couple of my favorites are:
"Above all else, God loves you. He has your pictures on His refrigerator just as I do."
"Faith is the consistent trust that God is all powerful and always on your side if you need help."
At the end of each chapter, Beals includes a sentence or two which sums up the theme of that chapter. It's as if she's giving the reader the takeaway or lesson which can be gleaned from her experiences which she's just recounted. One line which appears at the end of chapter 13 stood out to me. Beals writes, "God is our employer, no matter who we see as our earthly boss. At all times we must be aware that we are serving God in our work."
I Will Not Fear is a gripping story of an incredible woman who stood strong through all sorts of adversity. Reading this firsthand account of the despicable ways she was treated by so many was heartrending, but also encouraging and inspirational because of her attitude and faith and reliance on God through it all.
At around 200 pages, this is a short book, but it packs a hefty message. Beals begins the narrative with the story of her birth and shares the struggles her mother endured just to simply get hospital care with her difficult pregnancy. She continues her story with highlights from her life—which are told in mostly chronological order—and brings the reader up through current day. While she does spend a few chapters on the events surrounding the integration of the high school in Little Rock, it is not the main focal point of the book and she moves on to focus primarily on her life following that period. (See her other books, Warriors Don’t Cry and March Forward, Girl, for more about her early years in Arkansas.)
Beals' grandmother, "Grandma India", had a great impact on her in her formative days and that influence has stayed with her to this day. Throughout the book, she references anecdotes about her grandmother and recounts conversations and oft-quoted sayings that Grandma India said. A couple of my favorites are:
"Above all else, God loves you. He has your pictures on His refrigerator just as I do."
"Faith is the consistent trust that God is all powerful and always on your side if you need help."
At the end of each chapter, Beals includes a sentence or two which sums up the theme of that chapter. It's as if she's giving the reader the takeaway or lesson which can be gleaned from her experiences which she's just recounted. One line which appears at the end of chapter 13 stood out to me. Beals writes, "God is our employer, no matter who we see as our earthly boss. At all times we must be aware that we are serving God in our work."
I Will Not Fear is a gripping story of an incredible woman who stood strong through all sorts of adversity. Reading this firsthand account of the despicable ways she was treated by so many was heartrending, but also encouraging and inspirational because of her attitude and faith and reliance on God through it all.
November 23, 2018
"If you go only where you are welcome, that's where other people want you to go, not where you choose to go. You're limited by their vision- not living your own dreams."
Melba Pattillo Beals was fifteen yeard old when she began to attend Cental High School in 1957, an all white school. Being one of the nine African-American students chosen to integrate the school was a daunting task for a group of teenenagers. Everyday was a challenge as white mobs threatened with verbal and physical harm. Inside the school was not much better. But the fight for integration at Little Rock was just the beginning for Melba. As she grew older, she still faced bigotry and it was her faith that helped carry on.
I am familiar with the Little Rock Nine but not with what happened to its protagonists afterwards. Melba was one of the nine and there was not one single day that she did not face danger. The guard assigned to her eventually had to go but tensions were still high in the school. With the encouragement of her grandmother India and her faith in God, Melba went back to school each day. She, however, could not finish school there for the following year governor Orval Faubus closed all the schools to avoid integration. Melba had to go to California to finish highschool and continue her education. Do not be fooled by the short length of this book. It packs a powerful punch. Melba faced bigotry througout the length of her life. In her journey to become a mother, journalist, author and professor she faced. not just racism, but sexism as well.
Through financial hardship, a divorce, health issues and a world that could not look past the color of her skin, Melba persevered and conquered. She is not only an accomplished journalist, author and a great mother, she is a beacon of light. In short, she is an all around courageous and admirable woman. In 1999, she (and the other memebers of Little Rock Nine) was awarded the highest civilian honor, the Congressional Gold Medal. I am definitely intrested in reading her other books and will seek them at a later date. Do pick this book up. Its inpirational and helps us put in perspective our petty fears. Bravo Dr. Beals!
Melba Pattillo Beals was fifteen yeard old when she began to attend Cental High School in 1957, an all white school. Being one of the nine African-American students chosen to integrate the school was a daunting task for a group of teenenagers. Everyday was a challenge as white mobs threatened with verbal and physical harm. Inside the school was not much better. But the fight for integration at Little Rock was just the beginning for Melba. As she grew older, she still faced bigotry and it was her faith that helped carry on.
I am familiar with the Little Rock Nine but not with what happened to its protagonists afterwards. Melba was one of the nine and there was not one single day that she did not face danger. The guard assigned to her eventually had to go but tensions were still high in the school. With the encouragement of her grandmother India and her faith in God, Melba went back to school each day. She, however, could not finish school there for the following year governor Orval Faubus closed all the schools to avoid integration. Melba had to go to California to finish highschool and continue her education. Do not be fooled by the short length of this book. It packs a powerful punch. Melba faced bigotry througout the length of her life. In her journey to become a mother, journalist, author and professor she faced. not just racism, but sexism as well.
Through financial hardship, a divorce, health issues and a world that could not look past the color of her skin, Melba persevered and conquered. She is not only an accomplished journalist, author and a great mother, she is a beacon of light. In short, she is an all around courageous and admirable woman. In 1999, she (and the other memebers of Little Rock Nine) was awarded the highest civilian honor, the Congressional Gold Medal. I am definitely intrested in reading her other books and will seek them at a later date. Do pick this book up. Its inpirational and helps us put in perspective our petty fears. Bravo Dr. Beals!
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February 25, 2018My thoughts are uncertain when it comes to this book. It had some really thought-provoking and poignant content, but also some things I had questions about.
I Will Not Fear: My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith Under Fire was definitely a compelling read. The beginning caught me up in the story of Melba's life, and moved me to tears - both of anguish and sweet joy that God loves His children so protectively and beautifully.
"Grandmother always quieted my fretting - explaining that it was proof of how special I was in God's eyes because He had saved my life against all odds. 'God has been kind to give you beautiful hair like shiny black satin to cover your scar. No one will know,' she said. 'God has rescued you from death because He has special assignments for you.'" (pg. 25)
I do feel that God was calling Melba to stand up against prejudice and separation, and embolden those who are persecuted or made to feel "less-than".
However, the story of her divorce was very sad. I just can't believe that that was really God's heart for her, her husband, and their daughter. Her husband definitely should have responded differently, but it also came across that Melba didn't esteem the position of being a wife and mother.
That being said, I do think I understand why someone would say: "Being a wife and mother is not enough". Because, although I believe wife & mother is a super high, honorable, and God-given role, if I was married with children but not following God passionately, it would not feel "enough" for me, either. An authentic, active relationship with God gives true purpose ... and that is perhaps what Melba was searching for. (This is why I don't want to marry unless I firmly believe God has brought along the man and written out the love story. My deepest desire is to love and serve God! And then be a wife and mother. Blogger. Author. Etc.)
So, I suppose I say that because that part of Melba Pattillo Beal's story was very heartrending. Marriage is supposed to be, as God ordained, until death parts you. Not temporary, as Melba's mother, Lois, said. But, I don't know all that was in Melba's heart and that of her husband. Seeing glimpses of her motherhood later in life was beautiful, in any case! ^_^
This book was not a light read. It is an account of some horrific things that happened to Melba. It was eye-opening and sobering. Hateful, prejudice thoughts and actions are such ugly, evil things. It is truly horrifying and sorrowful that people acted in such wicked ways toward people of just a different culture. Hopefully I Will Not Fear will inspire us all to take a firm stand if ever we see people acting in hateful or demeaning ways just because someone looks different or has a different culture than them.
Further into the book, there was also a very disturbing, gruesome story briefly told from Melba's news reporter days.
I didn't like everything about this book, but it is definitely an informational read, and inspiring to see the ways God shielded and carried Melba in His mighty hands. My favorite chapters were Chapter Seven: God is Everywhere, Especially in California (pgs. 79-88) and Chapter Seventeen: God is as Close to You as Your Skin (pgs. 161-165). So beautiful - loved them!
Melba Pattillo Beals definitely defied expectations! One of my favorite quotes from the book is: "Life's lessons come from unexpected places. We cannot afford to allow prejudices to shut out God's blessings. Being equal is based on seeing equal. It is seated in each individual's willingness to claim their own equality despite all evidence to the contrary and all talk by others who dare to question their value."
I received a copy of I Will Not Fear from Revell Publishers in exchange for my honest review.
I Will Not Fear: My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith Under Fire was definitely a compelling read. The beginning caught me up in the story of Melba's life, and moved me to tears - both of anguish and sweet joy that God loves His children so protectively and beautifully.
"Grandmother always quieted my fretting - explaining that it was proof of how special I was in God's eyes because He had saved my life against all odds. 'God has been kind to give you beautiful hair like shiny black satin to cover your scar. No one will know,' she said. 'God has rescued you from death because He has special assignments for you.'" (pg. 25)
I do feel that God was calling Melba to stand up against prejudice and separation, and embolden those who are persecuted or made to feel "less-than".
However, the story of her divorce was very sad. I just can't believe that that was really God's heart for her, her husband, and their daughter. Her husband definitely should have responded differently, but it also came across that Melba didn't esteem the position of being a wife and mother.
That being said, I do think I understand why someone would say: "Being a wife and mother is not enough". Because, although I believe wife & mother is a super high, honorable, and God-given role, if I was married with children but not following God passionately, it would not feel "enough" for me, either. An authentic, active relationship with God gives true purpose ... and that is perhaps what Melba was searching for. (This is why I don't want to marry unless I firmly believe God has brought along the man and written out the love story. My deepest desire is to love and serve God! And then be a wife and mother. Blogger. Author. Etc.)
So, I suppose I say that because that part of Melba Pattillo Beal's story was very heartrending. Marriage is supposed to be, as God ordained, until death parts you. Not temporary, as Melba's mother, Lois, said. But, I don't know all that was in Melba's heart and that of her husband. Seeing glimpses of her motherhood later in life was beautiful, in any case! ^_^
This book was not a light read. It is an account of some horrific things that happened to Melba. It was eye-opening and sobering. Hateful, prejudice thoughts and actions are such ugly, evil things. It is truly horrifying and sorrowful that people acted in such wicked ways toward people of just a different culture. Hopefully I Will Not Fear will inspire us all to take a firm stand if ever we see people acting in hateful or demeaning ways just because someone looks different or has a different culture than them.
Further into the book, there was also a very disturbing, gruesome story briefly told from Melba's news reporter days.
I didn't like everything about this book, but it is definitely an informational read, and inspiring to see the ways God shielded and carried Melba in His mighty hands. My favorite chapters were Chapter Seven: God is Everywhere, Especially in California (pgs. 79-88) and Chapter Seventeen: God is as Close to You as Your Skin (pgs. 161-165). So beautiful - loved them!
Melba Pattillo Beals definitely defied expectations! One of my favorite quotes from the book is: "Life's lessons come from unexpected places. We cannot afford to allow prejudices to shut out God's blessings. Being equal is based on seeing equal. It is seated in each individual's willingness to claim their own equality despite all evidence to the contrary and all talk by others who dare to question their value."
I received a copy of I Will Not Fear from Revell Publishers in exchange for my honest review.
March 30, 2018
An inspiring memoir of a courageous woman.
I was familiar with the Little Rock Nine and the integration of Central High School, but reading Melba Pattillo Beals' first hand account has made a powerful impact on me. I really don't have words to describe the horror and anger and sheer disbelief I felt as I read of the ordeal these students went through. And the fact that no one in the country seemed to be inclined to help them. Politicians, officials, law enforcement, even the principal and teachers entrusted with their well being were culpable in the torture of these teens.
This is definitely a tale of overcoming as Melba's entire life was shaped by her high school years. I appreciated her honest account of a complicated life, including her walk of faith. Life is messy but God will always see us through -- that's the core takeaway for me. And the author illustrates that over and over again in examples from her own life.
Melba Pattillo Beals went on to become a journalist and reporter, breaking barriers as both an African American and a female in a male dominated profession. There's a wealth of wisdom in what she shares on so many topics, giving readers an opportunity to dig deeper into controversial issues. Each chapter closes with an inspirational quote which would make a great starting point for discussion in a book club group.
"Our relationship with God in faith is a two-way street -- we cannot ask for help from Him without being available to render help when called upon" (p 146)
By sharing her own personal struggles, triumphs and failures, I feel like the author has challenged me to take stock of my life, my thoughts, my actions, my relationship with Christ. I've come away feeling stretched and recommitted and determined to live with greater intention and deeper faith.
Book provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications Inc.
I was familiar with the Little Rock Nine and the integration of Central High School, but reading Melba Pattillo Beals' first hand account has made a powerful impact on me. I really don't have words to describe the horror and anger and sheer disbelief I felt as I read of the ordeal these students went through. And the fact that no one in the country seemed to be inclined to help them. Politicians, officials, law enforcement, even the principal and teachers entrusted with their well being were culpable in the torture of these teens.
This is definitely a tale of overcoming as Melba's entire life was shaped by her high school years. I appreciated her honest account of a complicated life, including her walk of faith. Life is messy but God will always see us through -- that's the core takeaway for me. And the author illustrates that over and over again in examples from her own life.
Melba Pattillo Beals went on to become a journalist and reporter, breaking barriers as both an African American and a female in a male dominated profession. There's a wealth of wisdom in what she shares on so many topics, giving readers an opportunity to dig deeper into controversial issues. Each chapter closes with an inspirational quote which would make a great starting point for discussion in a book club group.
"Our relationship with God in faith is a two-way street -- we cannot ask for help from Him without being available to render help when called upon" (p 146)
By sharing her own personal struggles, triumphs and failures, I feel like the author has challenged me to take stock of my life, my thoughts, my actions, my relationship with Christ. I've come away feeling stretched and recommitted and determined to live with greater intention and deeper faith.
Book provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications Inc.
February 3, 2018
I Will Not Fear: My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith Under Fire is a new memoir by Melba Pattillo Beals, an accomplished reporter, journalist, author, professor, and recipient of the Congressional Gold Medal for her role as a member of the Little Rock Nine when she was just fifteen-years-old. From the terrifying, life-threatening hatred and violence while integrating the all-white Central High School to the struggles throughout her life as an African American woman, Beals shares with honesty the situations and prejudice she faced, and the faith that emboldened her.
When I started reading, I was hopeful this would be a "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" book. In a sense, I Will Not Fear was eye-opening—if I learned it in History classes, I had forgotten what all was involved for the Nine, from the court case and preparation meetings to delays and setbacks due to unrestrained mobs (until the Army was called in), not to mention physical and psychological abuse, threats, and the emotional stress and fear—and I am blown away by the courage and determination of Beals from this early age, as well as her continuing grit, patience, and perseverance as she overcame racial and gender inequality (both overt and subtle) and other challenges in the years to come as she went on to college and graduate school; married, and then got a divorce, becoming a single mother of a young daughter; pursued an eventually highly-acclaimed career in reporting and journalism, public relations, and education; and, at the age of fifty-two, "became a mother again" when she adopted four-year-old twin boys. I also appreciated Beals' emphasis on turning the other cheek, or, "gracefully sinking into golden silence" (125). In an odd world where racism (etc.) often seems instigated by the would-be offendee, I often wonder what would happen if the fire was allowed to die out, not stoked? And yet, as Beals describes, racism (etc.) does continue to exist, and there are indeed times to speak up for what is right, both of which are significant caveats (and important reminders, especially for me).
However, disappointingly, I Will Not Fear was not as engaging as I hoped. Primarily, it fell flat on "story"—to me it was quite dry, especially considering the subject matter, and it begged details and description—so I wasn't able to really empathize or connect with Beals' experiences and emotions. (As she mentions several times, Beals also has a previously published memoir, Warriors Don't Cry, which I'm curious as to the difference in content.) Along the same lines, this book was quite repetitive at times, and somewhat disjointed (some chapters describing very specific events were confusing in where they were interjected into the overall narrative); for these and other reasons, including several typos, I felt the entire book could have been more tightly edited. On another note, there are aspects of this book I would caution readers to take with a grain of salt: one being the theology represented (I found it fairly ambiguous overall, especially the loose definitions of "faith", and an underlying postmodern sense of self, e.g., "inner warrior"), and also Beals' personal discontent being a wife and stay-at-home-mom, wishing instead to pursue a career (which comes across, subtly, as devaluing homemaking and motherhood).
I genuinely wanted to be challenged by I Will Not Fear. I acknowledge I oftentimes am less than sympathetic regarding "rights" issues in our day and age (and I forget that integration took place just a few years before my parents were born: not that long ago, and with remnants of racism and discrimination still existing), and callousness can inhibit compassion and justice. On a general level, Beals' story did make me think about my mindset. But, this book missed out on any more specific, empathetic connection, or reaction, for me.
Disclaimer: This book was received for free from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, in exchange for my honest review. Note as with all reviews and references, I do not necessarily agree with (or am even aware of) any or all of the beliefs, views, etc. of the author; please read my disclaimer here.
When I started reading, I was hopeful this would be a "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" book. In a sense, I Will Not Fear was eye-opening—if I learned it in History classes, I had forgotten what all was involved for the Nine, from the court case and preparation meetings to delays and setbacks due to unrestrained mobs (until the Army was called in), not to mention physical and psychological abuse, threats, and the emotional stress and fear—and I am blown away by the courage and determination of Beals from this early age, as well as her continuing grit, patience, and perseverance as she overcame racial and gender inequality (both overt and subtle) and other challenges in the years to come as she went on to college and graduate school; married, and then got a divorce, becoming a single mother of a young daughter; pursued an eventually highly-acclaimed career in reporting and journalism, public relations, and education; and, at the age of fifty-two, "became a mother again" when she adopted four-year-old twin boys. I also appreciated Beals' emphasis on turning the other cheek, or, "gracefully sinking into golden silence" (125). In an odd world where racism (etc.) often seems instigated by the would-be offendee, I often wonder what would happen if the fire was allowed to die out, not stoked? And yet, as Beals describes, racism (etc.) does continue to exist, and there are indeed times to speak up for what is right, both of which are significant caveats (and important reminders, especially for me).
However, disappointingly, I Will Not Fear was not as engaging as I hoped. Primarily, it fell flat on "story"—to me it was quite dry, especially considering the subject matter, and it begged details and description—so I wasn't able to really empathize or connect with Beals' experiences and emotions. (As she mentions several times, Beals also has a previously published memoir, Warriors Don't Cry, which I'm curious as to the difference in content.) Along the same lines, this book was quite repetitive at times, and somewhat disjointed (some chapters describing very specific events were confusing in where they were interjected into the overall narrative); for these and other reasons, including several typos, I felt the entire book could have been more tightly edited. On another note, there are aspects of this book I would caution readers to take with a grain of salt: one being the theology represented (I found it fairly ambiguous overall, especially the loose definitions of "faith", and an underlying postmodern sense of self, e.g., "inner warrior"), and also Beals' personal discontent being a wife and stay-at-home-mom, wishing instead to pursue a career (which comes across, subtly, as devaluing homemaking and motherhood).
I genuinely wanted to be challenged by I Will Not Fear. I acknowledge I oftentimes am less than sympathetic regarding "rights" issues in our day and age (and I forget that integration took place just a few years before my parents were born: not that long ago, and with remnants of racism and discrimination still existing), and callousness can inhibit compassion and justice. On a general level, Beals' story did make me think about my mindset. But, this book missed out on any more specific, empathetic connection, or reaction, for me.
Disclaimer: This book was received for free from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, in exchange for my honest review. Note as with all reviews and references, I do not necessarily agree with (or am even aware of) any or all of the beliefs, views, etc. of the author; please read my disclaimer here.
April 3, 2018
Wow, this book was amazing! It's depth on faith, racism, and even sexism was amazing. This is my first non-fiction, autobiography book about someone's life during the Civil Rights movement. I just recently read books on before and after the Civil War but never about a colored woman's life during the Civil Rights movement. My heart ached for Melba and all the other colored people in my country. It hurt my heart to think that all these people called themselves Christian yet, they were terrible to these nine teens who came into their school. It even got so bad that Melba had to move to California, there she was even encountering racism. People it's not just the South that is really racist. It's all over the place.
Melba's faith was amazing throughout this book. How she leaned on God and trusted Him throughout her entire life really stuck out to me. I would just love to know how many people she impacted. Not only did she help colored people in the future by staying strong through racism, she also helped with some woman's rights in the work places. Melba has literally gone through hell, yet she still stuck with God through it all. And now, she is a mother, grandmother, and even a great role model for young christians and even just christian in general today. Without her and other amazing colored people like her, our country may not be the same.
I highly recommend this book. It defiently gets voilent in places so I would recommend 14+. But this is a great, easy read that I believe everyone should read.
Note: I had this song going through my head throughout this book:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVKuA...
http://www.harderfamilyadventures.com...
Melba's faith was amazing throughout this book. How she leaned on God and trusted Him throughout her entire life really stuck out to me. I would just love to know how many people she impacted. Not only did she help colored people in the future by staying strong through racism, she also helped with some woman's rights in the work places. Melba has literally gone through hell, yet she still stuck with God through it all. And now, she is a mother, grandmother, and even a great role model for young christians and even just christian in general today. Without her and other amazing colored people like her, our country may not be the same.
I highly recommend this book. It defiently gets voilent in places so I would recommend 14+. But this is a great, easy read that I believe everyone should read.
Note: I had this song going through my head throughout this book:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVKuA...
http://www.harderfamilyadventures.com...
July 1, 2024
This book had me laughing, angry, crying, and falling in love with Melba's godly grandmother.
Melba Patillo was one of the Little Rock Nine, the nine Black students chosen to begin the integration of Little Rock's high schools. She describes the cruelty, physical abuse, and death threats that she suffered for going to the school, threats that required President Eisenhower's intervention. Even with troops defending them, the students were picked on by other students, especially in the bathrooms where troops could not accompany the girls. The awful behavior makes me ashamed to be white. Melba's beloved grandmother encouraged her faith and sustained her with wisdom until her death.
The situation grew so dire, that the nine were dispersed to other states for their safety. Melba ended up with a white family who took her in and treated her as one of their own in California. That family continued as her family throughout her life including her receiving the Congressional Gold Medal reception. She continues the story of her life and God's seeing her through many trials and difficulties.
This is an inspiring book that would be especially good for young people to read. The strong Christian faith of Melba Beals will keep it out of the public schools, but Christian schools and homeschools could benefit by having it in their libraries. Melba Beals' faith in God would help anyone undergoing difficulties and trials also. Highly recommended.
Melba Patillo was one of the Little Rock Nine, the nine Black students chosen to begin the integration of Little Rock's high schools. She describes the cruelty, physical abuse, and death threats that she suffered for going to the school, threats that required President Eisenhower's intervention. Even with troops defending them, the students were picked on by other students, especially in the bathrooms where troops could not accompany the girls. The awful behavior makes me ashamed to be white. Melba's beloved grandmother encouraged her faith and sustained her with wisdom until her death.
The situation grew so dire, that the nine were dispersed to other states for their safety. Melba ended up with a white family who took her in and treated her as one of their own in California. That family continued as her family throughout her life including her receiving the Congressional Gold Medal reception. She continues the story of her life and God's seeing her through many trials and difficulties.
This is an inspiring book that would be especially good for young people to read. The strong Christian faith of Melba Beals will keep it out of the public schools, but Christian schools and homeschools could benefit by having it in their libraries. Melba Beals' faith in God would help anyone undergoing difficulties and trials also. Highly recommended.
March 25, 2019
I had never read a personal account of the 1957 integration of Central High School in Little Rock, AR before, let alone from one of the nine African American students chosen to do so. Very eye-opening and shocking to hear what they had to endure.
The book also includes many other faith-building experiences throughout the author's life, and I love how she included an inspirational take-away at the end of each chapter. Lots of wisdom to be gleaned from this read.
From a storytelling vantage point, the author did a lot of telling rather than showing (which is somewhat understandable when trying to summarize), but if more showing had been incorporated, the book would pack an even more powerful punch. Still very powerful though.
The book also includes many other faith-building experiences throughout the author's life, and I love how she included an inspirational take-away at the end of each chapter. Lots of wisdom to be gleaned from this read.
From a storytelling vantage point, the author did a lot of telling rather than showing (which is somewhat understandable when trying to summarize), but if more showing had been incorporated, the book would pack an even more powerful punch. Still very powerful though.
March 9, 2018
My Thoughts: This is a must-read. There are so many things to praise and unpack here. It’s hard to know where to begin.
First of all, the historical account: This is such a powerful look at our country decades ago. In light of racial conflicts being in the media so often today, I think it’s so important to see what was and what isn’t. Reading Melba’s first-person account was eye-opening for me. Being born in the 80s, segregation wasn’t a part of my history. It was equally eye-opening to see just how far we’ve come as a nation.
I found it humbling to walk along with Melba and hear of the extreme abuse she endured and to know how much we benefit from it today. While there are forms of racism still present today, it’s much improved compared to where we once were.
Spiritual content: This is a true gem. In many ways, it reminded me of Corrie Ten Boom’s story. The story isn’t just an account of what was or what happened, but of how God had carried her through it. How He created in her a heart willing and able to love and forgive those who had persecuted. It’s a beautiful story of forgiveness. But it’s equally a powerful testimony about leaning on Christ. For those being bullied today, Melba has some valuable lessons on how to deal with bullies.
From a writer’s point of view, my first impression was that the story was all over the place. But that’s the difference between a novel and a memoir. The flow of events are often grouped together by subject and not by chronological events. This tripped me up a bit in the first chapter, but once I wrapped my mind around the fact that this wasn’t supposed to read like a novel, I adjusted rather well and thoroughly enjoyed it.
When reading someone’s life story, you have to understand that you may or may not agree with everything they did. But this is THEIR story. While I wasn’t on board with her divorce or the reasons surrounding it, I realize it’s not my place to judge her or pick apart what she could have/should have done based on the partial information I’m given. Melba has graciously shown us intimate moments of her life and her failings in hopes of sharing the lessons she had gleaned along the way. She had certainly done that.
Rating and Recommendation: There are so many applicable lessons on faith, perseverance, forgiveness, and serving Christ on earth that I would highly recommend this book to any Christian or anyone curious to learn how a Christian walks through persecution. I’m giving it 5 stars.
~ I received a copy from Revell through Net Galley. I was not compensated for this review. All thoughts are my own.
First of all, the historical account: This is such a powerful look at our country decades ago. In light of racial conflicts being in the media so often today, I think it’s so important to see what was and what isn’t. Reading Melba’s first-person account was eye-opening for me. Being born in the 80s, segregation wasn’t a part of my history. It was equally eye-opening to see just how far we’ve come as a nation.
I found it humbling to walk along with Melba and hear of the extreme abuse she endured and to know how much we benefit from it today. While there are forms of racism still present today, it’s much improved compared to where we once were.
Spiritual content: This is a true gem. In many ways, it reminded me of Corrie Ten Boom’s story. The story isn’t just an account of what was or what happened, but of how God had carried her through it. How He created in her a heart willing and able to love and forgive those who had persecuted. It’s a beautiful story of forgiveness. But it’s equally a powerful testimony about leaning on Christ. For those being bullied today, Melba has some valuable lessons on how to deal with bullies.
From a writer’s point of view, my first impression was that the story was all over the place. But that’s the difference between a novel and a memoir. The flow of events are often grouped together by subject and not by chronological events. This tripped me up a bit in the first chapter, but once I wrapped my mind around the fact that this wasn’t supposed to read like a novel, I adjusted rather well and thoroughly enjoyed it.
When reading someone’s life story, you have to understand that you may or may not agree with everything they did. But this is THEIR story. While I wasn’t on board with her divorce or the reasons surrounding it, I realize it’s not my place to judge her or pick apart what she could have/should have done based on the partial information I’m given. Melba has graciously shown us intimate moments of her life and her failings in hopes of sharing the lessons she had gleaned along the way. She had certainly done that.
Rating and Recommendation: There are so many applicable lessons on faith, perseverance, forgiveness, and serving Christ on earth that I would highly recommend this book to any Christian or anyone curious to learn how a Christian walks through persecution. I’m giving it 5 stars.
~ I received a copy from Revell through Net Galley. I was not compensated for this review. All thoughts are my own.
April 5, 2018
Melba Pattillo Beals has lived a life that is sure to inspire countless readers with her courage and faith in the face of extreme prejudice and discrimination. Once I opened the pages of her memoir, "I Will Not Fear", I literally couldn't walk away from the first few chapters as I read of her experience of integrating into Central High School to the point that her very life was in danger. Her journey following those harrowing days also offers moments that readers can learn from as she grows to lean on God through one trial after another. Up until the moment she married, I probably would have given this book a very high rating. However, I have to admit that the chapter where she admits to being bored being a wife and mother and how this plays into her decision to divorce was one that did not sit well with me. I certainly recognize that her husband was absolutely not supporting her to use her God given talents to her full ability and that her health was experiencing serious decline from her marriage as well. But does that justify getting a divorce and subjecting your child to the consequences? If she had made some sort of acknowledgement that she realizes, in retrospect, that her decision did not line up with God's will according to his Word, that would have been one thing, as every single one of us messes up every day. But she paints her actions as being what God was calling her to do - and that was disappointing to read. However, with the exception of that issue, I greatly appreciated the wisdom she shares from her experiences of standing up to prejudice and living out the truth that we are each created equal in God's eyes, that we each have worth and value and are deeply loved by God. That is a truth that is desperately needed in our culture, and our church.
"I Will Not Fear" is a book that has left me deep in thought, and I am sure I will again be picking up this book to read through Melba Pattillo Beals story of her life. May we all hope to leave a legacy of such courage and faith in the midst of such trials! I give this book a rating of 3.5 out of 5 stars.
Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
"I Will Not Fear" is a book that has left me deep in thought, and I am sure I will again be picking up this book to read through Melba Pattillo Beals story of her life. May we all hope to leave a legacy of such courage and faith in the midst of such trials! I give this book a rating of 3.5 out of 5 stars.
Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
March 7, 2018
I Will Not Fear
My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith Under Fire
by Melba Pattillo Beals
Sometimes it is hard to realize just how short a time ago we had such a segregated country. When one doesn't live through an event it feels farther away than it truly is. But the hatred and tyranny that Melba had to face just to have a chance at equality is truly unimaginable to me. I went to a school that had a well-balanced mix of students of every color and color had no bearing on my choice of friends. But sixty years ago this was not an expectation one had in the segregated South.
Melba's fight for equality and fair treatment though began before her birth as her Grandmother India fought through persistence to get her delivery to be allowed within the walls of a white hospital. But her fight didn't end with her graduation from high school but rather continued on to her higher educational endeavors and her fight for acceptance into the world of journalism as both a woman and a person of color.
There are moments of heartbreak and moments of joy and triumph that will touch the heart of the reader. And the sustaining force in Melba'a life was the faith that her grandmother shared with her. A faith that allowed her to go forth each day into what could be her last. A faith that sustained her as she raised her children and struggled to keep them safe in a world that was a dangerous as the one she negotiated as a teenager.
I highly recommend this book for those who want to see faith in action in the face of a fallen and hate-filled world. This is not light reading and each chapter should be taken in slowly and thoughtfully so as to have the greatest impact on the reader's own life. This would make an excellent book club choice and be a good addition to the shelf of any library - public, school or personal.
I was provided a review copy of this book by the publisher Revell with no expectations of a positive review ~ all opinions expressed are my own.
My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith Under Fire
by Melba Pattillo Beals
Sometimes it is hard to realize just how short a time ago we had such a segregated country. When one doesn't live through an event it feels farther away than it truly is. But the hatred and tyranny that Melba had to face just to have a chance at equality is truly unimaginable to me. I went to a school that had a well-balanced mix of students of every color and color had no bearing on my choice of friends. But sixty years ago this was not an expectation one had in the segregated South.
Melba's fight for equality and fair treatment though began before her birth as her Grandmother India fought through persistence to get her delivery to be allowed within the walls of a white hospital. But her fight didn't end with her graduation from high school but rather continued on to her higher educational endeavors and her fight for acceptance into the world of journalism as both a woman and a person of color.
There are moments of heartbreak and moments of joy and triumph that will touch the heart of the reader. And the sustaining force in Melba'a life was the faith that her grandmother shared with her. A faith that allowed her to go forth each day into what could be her last. A faith that sustained her as she raised her children and struggled to keep them safe in a world that was a dangerous as the one she negotiated as a teenager.
I highly recommend this book for those who want to see faith in action in the face of a fallen and hate-filled world. This is not light reading and each chapter should be taken in slowly and thoughtfully so as to have the greatest impact on the reader's own life. This would make an excellent book club choice and be a good addition to the shelf of any library - public, school or personal.
I was provided a review copy of this book by the publisher Revell with no expectations of a positive review ~ all opinions expressed are my own.
February 15, 2018
This is the best book on faith I had read in a while! Dr. Melba Pattillo is a person I would love to meet one day! Despite her popularity, I'm surprised I had never heard of her.
This is the biography of Dr. Melba Pattillo Peals, one of The Little Rock Nine. She recounts her life and the tremendous, struggles, hardships, tests, and trials she encountered as an African-American woman. Growing up in the 40s and 50s, when the Civil Rights Movement was in full swing, Melba's life was anything but peaceful. From the day she was born to the present, she has had many hardships and lived through cruel injustices due to racism and prejudice. From being one of nine high school students chosen to integrate white public schools to her career as a news reporter, Dr. Pattillo's testimony breaks the silence on social prejudice in modern-day America.
I cannot believe the amount of ignorance and prejudice humans can have when it comes to "race." In her book, I was able to feel her pain, sadness, and fear...but also her tremendous strength. This is not a book of failure but of victory. Over and over, Melba recounts how tightly she held unto God for help and deliverance in times of danger and trouble. Over and over, we can see God's divine protection and supply in her life. This book is not only a biography but a testimony of God's faithfulness. This testament has given me a new perspective into God's faithfulness and protection toward those who love Him.
I highly recommend this book to all! This is a must-read book for students and professionals alike.
I received a copy of this book from Revell in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed here are entirely my own.
This is the biography of Dr. Melba Pattillo Peals, one of The Little Rock Nine. She recounts her life and the tremendous, struggles, hardships, tests, and trials she encountered as an African-American woman. Growing up in the 40s and 50s, when the Civil Rights Movement was in full swing, Melba's life was anything but peaceful. From the day she was born to the present, she has had many hardships and lived through cruel injustices due to racism and prejudice. From being one of nine high school students chosen to integrate white public schools to her career as a news reporter, Dr. Pattillo's testimony breaks the silence on social prejudice in modern-day America.
I cannot believe the amount of ignorance and prejudice humans can have when it comes to "race." In her book, I was able to feel her pain, sadness, and fear...but also her tremendous strength. This is not a book of failure but of victory. Over and over, Melba recounts how tightly she held unto God for help and deliverance in times of danger and trouble. Over and over, we can see God's divine protection and supply in her life. This book is not only a biography but a testimony of God's faithfulness. This testament has given me a new perspective into God's faithfulness and protection toward those who love Him.
I highly recommend this book to all! This is a must-read book for students and professionals alike.
I received a copy of this book from Revell in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed here are entirely my own.
February 9, 2018
Courageous! Picking up this book, I wasn't sure what to expect, but what I found was that Melba Pettillo Beals is a woman of great courage and tenacity. As one of the nine African American Students chosen to intergrate in Little Rock, Arkansa's all- White Central High School she faced continual racial injustice that I don't think the majority of us understand. However, her courage has allowed so much of the change that we are able to enjoy today with the freedoms of the world we live today because she is willing to share her story.
While this isn't an easy read, especially when you hear how the small group of the Little Rock Nine were treated and how this took a toll not only on them, but their community, it makes you appreciate the freedoms we have today. I love how Melba writes about her children, career, faith and life after Little Rock. While this event was significant in her life, so was her life after it. I especially love hearing about her share her faith. A woman who has been through all that she has, should be bitter, but she isn't and faith played a huge part in this freedom.
I found this book to be so interesting and I am thankful that she was willing to share her story. She is very inspiring to us all. This memoir is a great read. I give this book 4/5 stars.
While this isn't an easy read, especially when you hear how the small group of the Little Rock Nine were treated and how this took a toll not only on them, but their community, it makes you appreciate the freedoms we have today. I love how Melba writes about her children, career, faith and life after Little Rock. While this event was significant in her life, so was her life after it. I especially love hearing about her share her faith. A woman who has been through all that she has, should be bitter, but she isn't and faith played a huge part in this freedom.
I found this book to be so interesting and I am thankful that she was willing to share her story. She is very inspiring to us all. This memoir is a great read. I give this book 4/5 stars.
February 19, 2021
Summary: The faith-filled memoir of a woman who rose to fame as one of the Little Rock 9, but who continued throughout her life to work through the ways race has continued to play a role through systems and culture whether or not it was legally mandated.
Eventually, a couple of weeks later, a federal judge ordered the National Guard removed. The students attended school for several hours one day before police escorted the students out because again, an angry mob threatened violence against the students and the school more broadly. Two days later, President Eisenhower, at the Little Rock mayor's request, ordered the Army's 101st Airborne to guard the students. They were accompanied in classes and hallways (but not, as described in the book, in the girl's restrooms where Melba and the other girls were harassed.) The close escorts only lasted a few months, and in the second half of the school year, the students were harassed and bullied without any recourse. This included Melba having acid thrown on her face, an effigy being burned on a vacant lot outside of the school, and several incidents of students being beaten and harmed. One of the nine was expelled for defending himself. And one of the parents was fired from her job with the state of Arkansas for refusing to remove her daughter from the school.
At the end of the school year, Ernest Green graduated, but the remainder of the students were not seniors. In September 1958, the governor ordered all Little Rock public schools closed. There was a public vote, and the citizens voted against integration and kept the schools closed for the full school year. Eventually, Melba moved to California and was hosted by a white family that was a member of the NAACP so that she could complete her high school. She has lived in California until the present day.
As important as the story of the Little Rock Nine is, only a fairly small portion of the book is about that. Most of the book is about the rest of her very full life. This is a story about her life of faith. A Christian publisher published it, and throughout the book, she points to her reliance on God and her faith to guide how he responded to racism and sexism and other issues. She married a white man, and they had a child. After the pregnancy and birth nearly killed her, doctors told her she should not have another child. Her husband's insistence that she get pregnant again, as well as other conflicts, especially about her desire to work outside of the home, led to a divorce.
As a single mother, she went back and finished college; she got an internship/fellowship to a journalism program and was one of the first Black TV reporters in the country and the first in San Francisco. After several years of being a reporter, she quit to become a writer and to start a PR firm. Eventually, she went back to school, finished a Ph.D., and taught at the college level before retiring relatively recently.
I Will Not Fear is not concentrated on her school integration story because her first book (1995), Warriors Don't Cry, and the more recent (2019) young-adult-focused March Forward, Girl, focus on that story. I have picked up March Forward, Girl because it is currently on sale for Kindle, and I will try to read that sometime later this year. But I appreciate I Will Not Fear in part because it is so focused on the after part of her famous story. There was trauma and harm that were part of her life that was common to many mid to late 20th century Black Americans. Her long section on the continued overt housing discrimination, not in the 1960s or 70s, but after 2000 when overt housing discrimination had been illegal for nearly 40 years, matters as a story that more White Americans need to read.
And as I commented in my post about John Lewis' biography, the inclusion of Melba Beals' faith as essential to her civil rights story is part of what I want to highlight as a reason to read this book. There are many good books on the civil rights and post-civil rights era. Still, these smaller personal stories, especially ones that include processing of the trauma of the work of civil rights as this and While the World Watched does, are very important to read.
I have been a bit in a reading slump. There are many 'important books' that I want to read, but I don't have a lot of motivation to actually read them. I don't want to blame the global pandemic overly, but over the past three months, my kids have been at home more than they have been at school, both because of school vacations, school closures, and quarantining because of covid exposure. My traditional method of resolving reading slumps is to change genres. Fiction or story-based history or biography often is the cure I need to re-invigorate my desire to read again.
I Will Not Fear is a book I picked up years ago when it was on sale but never read. Last fall, I noticed that it was part of Audible Plus (their program of including back catalog books for free as part of membership). But it wasn't until January that I actually picked the book as a follow-up to the John Lewis biography. Melba Beals is not a household name. But many of us have a rough understanding of the Little Rock Nine, the nine high schoolers that integrated Little Rock Central High School. Initially, the state national guard was deployed by the Governor to block the Black students from the school entrance on the first day. A mob gathered to protest the integration harassed the students. The description of the threatened rape and lynching of the students and Melba and her mother being literally chased through the streets is harrowing.
Eventually, a couple of weeks later, a federal judge ordered the National Guard removed. The students attended school for several hours one day before police escorted the students out because again, an angry mob threatened violence against the students and the school more broadly. Two days later, President Eisenhower, at the Little Rock mayor's request, ordered the Army's 101st Airborne to guard the students. They were accompanied in classes and hallways (but not, as described in the book, in the girl's restrooms where Melba and the other girls were harassed.) The close escorts only lasted a few months, and in the second half of the school year, the students were harassed and bullied without any recourse. This included Melba having acid thrown on her face, an effigy being burned on a vacant lot outside of the school, and several incidents of students being beaten and harmed. One of the nine was expelled for defending himself. And one of the parents was fired from her job with the state of Arkansas for refusing to remove her daughter from the school.
At the end of the school year, Ernest Green graduated, but the remainder of the students were not seniors. In September 1958, the governor ordered all Little Rock public schools closed. There was a public vote, and the citizens voted against integration and kept the schools closed for the full school year. Eventually, Melba moved to California and was hosted by a white family that was a member of the NAACP so that she could complete her high school. She has lived in California until the present day.
As important as the story of the Little Rock Nine is, only a fairly small portion of the book is about that. Most of the book is about the rest of her very full life. This is a story about her life of faith. A Christian publisher published it, and throughout the book, she points to her reliance on God and her faith to guide how he responded to racism and sexism and other issues. She married a white man, and they had a child. After the pregnancy and birth nearly killed her, doctors told her she should not have another child. Her husband's insistence that she get pregnant again, as well as other conflicts, especially about her desire to work outside of the home, led to a divorce.
As a single mother, she went back and finished college; she got an internship/fellowship to a journalism program and was one of the first Black TV reporters in the country and the first in San Francisco. After several years of being a reporter, she quit to become a writer and to start a PR firm. Eventually, she went back to school, finished a Ph.D., and taught at the college level before retiring relatively recently.
I Will Not Fear is not concentrated on her school integration story because her first book (1995), Warriors Don't Cry, and the more recent (2019) young-adult-focused March Forward, Girl, focus on that story. I have picked up March Forward, Girl because it is currently on sale for Kindle, and I will try to read that sometime later this year. But I appreciate I Will Not Fear in part because it is so focused on the after part of her famous story. There was trauma and harm that were part of her life that was common to many mid to late 20th century Black Americans. Her long section on the continued overt housing discrimination, not in the 1960s or 70s, but after 2000 when overt housing discrimination had been illegal for nearly 40 years, matters as a story that more White Americans need to read.
And as I commented in my post about John Lewis' biography, the inclusion of Melba Beals' faith as essential to her civil rights story is part of what I want to highlight as a reason to read this book. There are many good books on the civil rights and post-civil rights era. Still, these smaller personal stories, especially ones that include processing of the trauma of the work of civil rights as this and While the World Watched does, are very important to read.
February 8, 2018
4.5
"You're not doing this for yourself. You are doing this for generations yet unborn."
Martin Luther King's encouragement to a young Melba Beals was the difference between despondency and determination. Melba's experience as one of the nine students integrating into an all white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas had gone beyond the nightmare stage, she was afraid for her life. One of her greatest assets was a godly grandmother who told her more than once, " God is as close to us as our skin, and it's up to us to call on Him if we need help."
Enduring this harrowing experience molded Melba into the kind of woman who went on to complete several post graduate degrees and was honored as a recipient of the Congressional Gold Medal. Her unwavering faith was truly amazing, "to God be the glory".
"I knew my boys would have to learn what Grandma had taught me, which is to walk by faith and not by sight alone. . . . . . . no matter what threatening evidence appears to be true, we need not fear because God is always beside us."
"You're not doing this for yourself. You are doing this for generations yet unborn."
Martin Luther King's encouragement to a young Melba Beals was the difference between despondency and determination. Melba's experience as one of the nine students integrating into an all white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas had gone beyond the nightmare stage, she was afraid for her life. One of her greatest assets was a godly grandmother who told her more than once, " God is as close to us as our skin, and it's up to us to call on Him if we need help."
Enduring this harrowing experience molded Melba into the kind of woman who went on to complete several post graduate degrees and was honored as a recipient of the Congressional Gold Medal. Her unwavering faith was truly amazing, "to God be the glory".
"I knew my boys would have to learn what Grandma had taught me, which is to walk by faith and not by sight alone. . . . . . . no matter what threatening evidence appears to be true, we need not fear because God is always beside us."
March 17, 2018
What an inspiring book of faith by a woman who has experienced so much and learned so much along the way. If only I would have the same faith and fortitude that she does!
I will certainly be reading some of her other books as well. I love what she has to share as well as how she writes.
I will certainly be reading some of her other books as well. I love what she has to share as well as how she writes.
March 28, 2018
In 1957, Melba Beals was one of the nine African American students chosen to integrate Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas. But her story of overcoming didn’t start–or end–there. While her white schoolmates were planning their senior prom, Melba was facing the business end of a double-barreled shotgun, being threatened with lynching by rope-carrying tormentors, and learning how to outrun white supremacists who were ready to kill her rather than sit beside her in a classroom. Only her faith in God sustained her during her darkest days and helped her become a civil rights warrior, an NBC television news reporter, a magazine writer, a professor, a wife, and a mother.
In I Will Not Fear, Beals takes readers on an unforgettable journey through terror, oppression, and persecution, highlighting the kind of faith needed to survive in a world full of heartbreak and anger. She shows how the deep faith we develop during our most difficult moments is the kind of faith that can change our families, our communities, and even the world. Encouraging and inspiring, Beals’s story offers readers hope that faith is the solution to the pervasive hopelessness of our current culture.
Out January 2018
BIO
“Melba Pattillo Beals made history as a member of the Little Rock Nine, the nine African-American students involved in the desegregation of Little Rock Central High School in 1957. The world watched as they braved constant intimidation and threats from those who opposed desegregation of the formerly all-white high school. She later recounted this harrowing year in her book titled Warriors Don’t Cry: A Searing Memoir of the Battle to Desegregate Little Rock’s Central High School.
Melba Pattillo was born on December 7, 1941, in Little Rock (Pulaski County). Beals grew up surrounded by family members who knew the importance of an education. Her mother, Lois Marie Pattillo, PhD, was one of the first black graduates of the University of Arkansas (UA) in Fayetteville (Washington County) in 1954 and was a high school English teacher at the time of the crisis. Her father, Howell Pattillo, worked for the Missouri Pacific Railroad. She had one brother, Conrad, who served as a U.S. marshal in Little Rock, and they all lived with her grandmother, India Peyton.
While attending all-black Horace Mann High School in Little Rock, she knew her educational opportunities were not equal to her white counterparts’ opportunities at Central High. In response to this inequality, Pattillo volunteered to transfer to the all-white Central High School with eight other black students from Horace Mann and Dunbar Junior High School. The Little Rock Nine, as they came to be known, faced daily harassment from white students. Beals later recounted that the soldier assigned to protect her instructed her, “In order to get through this year, you will have to become a soldier. Never let your enemy know what you are feeling.” Beals took the soldier’s advice, and, while the rest of the school year remained turbulent, all but one student, Minnijean Brown, was able to finish the school year. Barred from entering Central High the next year when the city’s schools were closed, Pattillo moved to Santa Rosa, California, to live with a sponsoring family who were members of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) for her senior year of high school.”
Out January 16, 2018
MY THOUGHTS:
I was sent this book in exchange for my honest review.
I can’t even begin to pretend to understand what Melba went through at the hands of racists and bullies! This had to be one of the very worse things a person can endure and survive. In her memoir, Melba resists, fights and endures those around her determined to keep her down, and rises above them all both spiritually and physically.
I grew up with many black families living in our neighborhood and because my parents ran the local recreation department’s events (sports and fairs), our family was well-known in our community. My mother grew up in Montreal, Canada during the 1950’s and remembers a lot of things that happened with integration there. Although never as extreme as it was in the US, racism and anger toward integrating blacks into all-white schools still existed.
She told me of a story when she was a teen when her and her friends had decided to go to the beach. In her circle of friends there were two young men who also happened to be black.
At the beach, she said that the white boys quickly took off their shirts and ran in to the water wearing trunks. However, their black friends were not allowed to exercise the same privilege, but were forced to keep their clothes on because “no white person wants to see black skin,” and when they tried to get in to the water to cool off, other white adults on the beach told them that they were not allowed to swim in the same water used by whites. These young men were also condemned for being with white females. Of course, they were among males and females who were white, but the fact that they dared to go near a white woman wearing a bathing suit (have you seen 1950’s bathing suits?), the white adults would have none of it.
My mother and her friends were older teens and never really cared what color their friends were, they all hung out and all had fun together as a group. So when their two friends were getting grief from these racists, all of them left the water and came to their friends’ aid. She told me that she thought they’d all come to blows, her included because she was at the front of the line (that’s my mother for ya) yelling her head off at the racist idiots.
It was a difficult and ugly time where many of the worse traits human beings are capable of exhibiting were on display. By rallying around their friends, all remained to swim at the beach and the others… they were so overwhelmed by the attitude of the teens, and how others came to their defense too, that they left in fear of their own back seats.
I would love to meet Melba and ask her all sorts of questions. I’d like her to meet my mom too ;). I bet they’d have lots to talk about. lol
The issue of faith is not the only subject discussed in this book. There’s a recounting of Dr. Pattillo’s life full of struggles, hardships, racism, sexism, and many endurance tests. She let’s us in to see her perspectives on religion, God, marriage and those around her.
She knew of hardship and struggles early on in her life, their effects taking a large toll on who she saw as herself in the mirror. Her conflicted daily life was brutal and yet, she survived.
Racism and prejudice backed by hateful actions and jibes were a constant in her life and resulted in many cruel injustices committed against her. Only eight others were with her during this integration into an all white school. It had to be so incredibly difficult. But her perseverance won ground for the Civil Rights movement, paving the way for todays students of all nationalities and color.
Because of her strong faith in God and her unrelenting devotion to Him, Melba made it through this incredible part of her life-time filled with the worst of experiences despite the battle with prejudice, gender inequality, and equal rights.
You really become part of Melba’s emotional state throughout it all, seeing her in every aspect of her fears, actions and their consequences. You’ll experience her anger, her struggles and her doubts. You’ll also see her perspective on what racism is to her, even the not-so-obvious subtleties that she experienced and you too, will become enraged by the idiocy of humans.
If you enjoy reading about history, you’ll like this book, especially in the powerful way it gives a dark view into US history. It’ll teach you to appreciate the freedoms that exist today thanks to those who gave so much, endured so much back then so we could benefit from what their hardships gave us as a result.
As for the spiritual benefits, you’ll enjoy reading how Melba’s faith in God made her capable of surviving this challenge, and made it possible for her to forgive those who had persecuted her. So with history, spiritual embodiment, you also have a story about forgiveness and rising above a past of hate and sadness. You’ll even get pointers on how to deal with bullies.
On the more technical side, the story seemed to jump around a lot in the beginning. However, we are addressing a memoir here and often this does happen. You’re not meant to agree or disagree with the actions of the MC, you’re just meant to bear witness and watch the unfolding events described.
This book is full of courage! It will not be an easy read. All emotions you have will become engaged.
“Grandma India”, had a great influence on her in her early years and that support and wisdom has stayed with her to this day. Melba summarizes each chapter eloquently and I just can’t say enough about this book.
In I Will Not Fear, Beals takes readers on an unforgettable journey through terror, oppression, and persecution, highlighting the kind of faith needed to survive in a world full of heartbreak and anger. She shows how the deep faith we develop during our most difficult moments is the kind of faith that can change our families, our communities, and even the world. Encouraging and inspiring, Beals’s story offers readers hope that faith is the solution to the pervasive hopelessness of our current culture.
Out January 2018
BIO
“Melba Pattillo Beals made history as a member of the Little Rock Nine, the nine African-American students involved in the desegregation of Little Rock Central High School in 1957. The world watched as they braved constant intimidation and threats from those who opposed desegregation of the formerly all-white high school. She later recounted this harrowing year in her book titled Warriors Don’t Cry: A Searing Memoir of the Battle to Desegregate Little Rock’s Central High School.
Melba Pattillo was born on December 7, 1941, in Little Rock (Pulaski County). Beals grew up surrounded by family members who knew the importance of an education. Her mother, Lois Marie Pattillo, PhD, was one of the first black graduates of the University of Arkansas (UA) in Fayetteville (Washington County) in 1954 and was a high school English teacher at the time of the crisis. Her father, Howell Pattillo, worked for the Missouri Pacific Railroad. She had one brother, Conrad, who served as a U.S. marshal in Little Rock, and they all lived with her grandmother, India Peyton.
While attending all-black Horace Mann High School in Little Rock, she knew her educational opportunities were not equal to her white counterparts’ opportunities at Central High. In response to this inequality, Pattillo volunteered to transfer to the all-white Central High School with eight other black students from Horace Mann and Dunbar Junior High School. The Little Rock Nine, as they came to be known, faced daily harassment from white students. Beals later recounted that the soldier assigned to protect her instructed her, “In order to get through this year, you will have to become a soldier. Never let your enemy know what you are feeling.” Beals took the soldier’s advice, and, while the rest of the school year remained turbulent, all but one student, Minnijean Brown, was able to finish the school year. Barred from entering Central High the next year when the city’s schools were closed, Pattillo moved to Santa Rosa, California, to live with a sponsoring family who were members of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) for her senior year of high school.”
Out January 16, 2018
MY THOUGHTS:
I was sent this book in exchange for my honest review.
I can’t even begin to pretend to understand what Melba went through at the hands of racists and bullies! This had to be one of the very worse things a person can endure and survive. In her memoir, Melba resists, fights and endures those around her determined to keep her down, and rises above them all both spiritually and physically.
I grew up with many black families living in our neighborhood and because my parents ran the local recreation department’s events (sports and fairs), our family was well-known in our community. My mother grew up in Montreal, Canada during the 1950’s and remembers a lot of things that happened with integration there. Although never as extreme as it was in the US, racism and anger toward integrating blacks into all-white schools still existed.
She told me of a story when she was a teen when her and her friends had decided to go to the beach. In her circle of friends there were two young men who also happened to be black.
At the beach, she said that the white boys quickly took off their shirts and ran in to the water wearing trunks. However, their black friends were not allowed to exercise the same privilege, but were forced to keep their clothes on because “no white person wants to see black skin,” and when they tried to get in to the water to cool off, other white adults on the beach told them that they were not allowed to swim in the same water used by whites. These young men were also condemned for being with white females. Of course, they were among males and females who were white, but the fact that they dared to go near a white woman wearing a bathing suit (have you seen 1950’s bathing suits?), the white adults would have none of it.
My mother and her friends were older teens and never really cared what color their friends were, they all hung out and all had fun together as a group. So when their two friends were getting grief from these racists, all of them left the water and came to their friends’ aid. She told me that she thought they’d all come to blows, her included because she was at the front of the line (that’s my mother for ya) yelling her head off at the racist idiots.
It was a difficult and ugly time where many of the worse traits human beings are capable of exhibiting were on display. By rallying around their friends, all remained to swim at the beach and the others… they were so overwhelmed by the attitude of the teens, and how others came to their defense too, that they left in fear of their own back seats.
I would love to meet Melba and ask her all sorts of questions. I’d like her to meet my mom too ;). I bet they’d have lots to talk about. lol
The issue of faith is not the only subject discussed in this book. There’s a recounting of Dr. Pattillo’s life full of struggles, hardships, racism, sexism, and many endurance tests. She let’s us in to see her perspectives on religion, God, marriage and those around her.
She knew of hardship and struggles early on in her life, their effects taking a large toll on who she saw as herself in the mirror. Her conflicted daily life was brutal and yet, she survived.
Racism and prejudice backed by hateful actions and jibes were a constant in her life and resulted in many cruel injustices committed against her. Only eight others were with her during this integration into an all white school. It had to be so incredibly difficult. But her perseverance won ground for the Civil Rights movement, paving the way for todays students of all nationalities and color.
Because of her strong faith in God and her unrelenting devotion to Him, Melba made it through this incredible part of her life-time filled with the worst of experiences despite the battle with prejudice, gender inequality, and equal rights.
You really become part of Melba’s emotional state throughout it all, seeing her in every aspect of her fears, actions and their consequences. You’ll experience her anger, her struggles and her doubts. You’ll also see her perspective on what racism is to her, even the not-so-obvious subtleties that she experienced and you too, will become enraged by the idiocy of humans.
If you enjoy reading about history, you’ll like this book, especially in the powerful way it gives a dark view into US history. It’ll teach you to appreciate the freedoms that exist today thanks to those who gave so much, endured so much back then so we could benefit from what their hardships gave us as a result.
As for the spiritual benefits, you’ll enjoy reading how Melba’s faith in God made her capable of surviving this challenge, and made it possible for her to forgive those who had persecuted her. So with history, spiritual embodiment, you also have a story about forgiveness and rising above a past of hate and sadness. You’ll even get pointers on how to deal with bullies.
On the more technical side, the story seemed to jump around a lot in the beginning. However, we are addressing a memoir here and often this does happen. You’re not meant to agree or disagree with the actions of the MC, you’re just meant to bear witness and watch the unfolding events described.
This book is full of courage! It will not be an easy read. All emotions you have will become engaged.
“Grandma India”, had a great influence on her in her early years and that support and wisdom has stayed with her to this day. Melba summarizes each chapter eloquently and I just can’t say enough about this book.
March 18, 2018
((3.5))
Previously published on Purely by Faith Reviews.
Recommended Age: 12+
I was not at all familiar with the history of Melba's hometown, Little Rock, Arkansas. So when I started reading this book, it was so interesting. I knew about the racism during the 1950s (and earlier in time as well) from a class I did online, but I guess I never thought about how bad it was (even though there were many examples of what was done) since nothing that was described in this book really happens today.
I learned quite a bit of information about the 1950s from this book, such as the fact that Ms. Melba was one of the first black people to attend a white school in her hometown. I can't believe how awful people were towards her and her fellow schoolmates. I'm white, and I would never want to harass nor hurt nor kill someone for the color of their skin. So ridiculous, but those were the old times when that was okay.
I hate it when people just discourage you from your dream. I was really upset with her ex-husband, since he saying she had to focus on housework, cooking, etc instead of education. I personally don't believe that women should only do housework. What's wrong with wanting to have a career and making a name for yourself? I'm so glad that Ms. Melba did not listen to them and ended up becoming a reporter for the NBC TV news, and later a professor.
I can totally see why Ms. Melba was not satisfied with her life at home with her ex-husband, but I did feel like she devalued homemaking and motherhood, which might come across as offensive to other people that strongly believe in that as the way to go in life. I hope I'm not making myself sound like a feminist, like women should have equal rights to men or whatever, but I suppose my experiences have shaped how I feel about what I want to do, not just being someone my husband wants to be. After reading this book, all I know is that I want to have a career when I'm older, just as Ms. Melba did, without anyone stopping me from doing so.
This book was written from a Methodist's point of view, as I mentioned above, and I believe there may have been a few theological things I didn't agree with. However I don't recall any nor did I write any down, so this would probably be a read-at-your-own-risk type of book, mainly for the "faith" content as you may find something you don't agree with unless you have the same beliefs as Ms. Melba.
Although this was a nice book, it did not feel very compelling at times and lacked description which did make it hard for me to relate to her. But her backstory was interesting to read, and that's why I'm rating it 3.5 stars (so far).
Not enough people know about what happened during the 1950s and this would open their eyes a bit. I think this is a book worth reading, if you want to read something rich in history from a Methodist black woman's point of view.
Content Warnings:
Violence (mentions of lynchings, guns, etc); Romance (finding love, divorce); written from a Methodist's point of view.
I received this book from Revell in exchange for an honest review. I was not obligated to provide a positive one. This review was written in my own words and opinions.
Previously published on Purely by Faith Reviews.
Recommended Age: 12+
I was not at all familiar with the history of Melba's hometown, Little Rock, Arkansas. So when I started reading this book, it was so interesting. I knew about the racism during the 1950s (and earlier in time as well) from a class I did online, but I guess I never thought about how bad it was (even though there were many examples of what was done) since nothing that was described in this book really happens today.
I learned quite a bit of information about the 1950s from this book, such as the fact that Ms. Melba was one of the first black people to attend a white school in her hometown. I can't believe how awful people were towards her and her fellow schoolmates. I'm white, and I would never want to harass nor hurt nor kill someone for the color of their skin. So ridiculous, but those were the old times when that was okay.
I hate it when people just discourage you from your dream. I was really upset with her ex-husband, since he saying she had to focus on housework, cooking, etc instead of education. I personally don't believe that women should only do housework. What's wrong with wanting to have a career and making a name for yourself? I'm so glad that Ms. Melba did not listen to them and ended up becoming a reporter for the NBC TV news, and later a professor.
I can totally see why Ms. Melba was not satisfied with her life at home with her ex-husband, but I did feel like she devalued homemaking and motherhood, which might come across as offensive to other people that strongly believe in that as the way to go in life. I hope I'm not making myself sound like a feminist, like women should have equal rights to men or whatever, but I suppose my experiences have shaped how I feel about what I want to do, not just being someone my husband wants to be. After reading this book, all I know is that I want to have a career when I'm older, just as Ms. Melba did, without anyone stopping me from doing so.
This book was written from a Methodist's point of view, as I mentioned above, and I believe there may have been a few theological things I didn't agree with. However I don't recall any nor did I write any down, so this would probably be a read-at-your-own-risk type of book, mainly for the "faith" content as you may find something you don't agree with unless you have the same beliefs as Ms. Melba.
Although this was a nice book, it did not feel very compelling at times and lacked description which did make it hard for me to relate to her. But her backstory was interesting to read, and that's why I'm rating it 3.5 stars (so far).
Not enough people know about what happened during the 1950s and this would open their eyes a bit. I think this is a book worth reading, if you want to read something rich in history from a Methodist black woman's point of view.
Content Warnings:
Violence (mentions of lynchings, guns, etc); Romance (finding love, divorce); written from a Methodist's point of view.
I received this book from Revell in exchange for an honest review. I was not obligated to provide a positive one. This review was written in my own words and opinions.
January 6, 2021
I chose this book, a memoir by Melba Beals because I knew so little about the Little Rock 9. I knew what was taught in US history from the 60’s until my high school graduation in the mid-70’s. To summarize, the events were mentioned verses studied.
Melba Beals memoir was not only an excellent retelling of this very important time in history, but the reader was able to witness through her words and memory the incredible individual she was, from childhood throughout adulthood. She remained centered in her faith for guidance and strength but her perseverance, courage and fortitude were incredible. What an amazing woman, thank you for writing this book.
Melba Beals memoir was not only an excellent retelling of this very important time in history, but the reader was able to witness through her words and memory the incredible individual she was, from childhood throughout adulthood. She remained centered in her faith for guidance and strength but her perseverance, courage and fortitude were incredible. What an amazing woman, thank you for writing this book.
August 1, 2024
I am always inspired by other people’s stories and this one is no different!
Here’s a few of my favorite quotes from the book—
“God is as close to me as my skin and always stronger than any enemy.”
“Having faith was belief in a positive outcome, whether I could clearly see the outcome or not.”
“Our purpose must be clear. Purpose means doing God’s work. It can never be activity for selfish reasons alone. There must be some share of gifting and contributing.”
“If you go only where you are welcome, that’s where other people want you to go, not where you choose to go. You’re limited by their vision—not living your own dreams.”
Here’s a few of my favorite quotes from the book—
“God is as close to me as my skin and always stronger than any enemy.”
“Having faith was belief in a positive outcome, whether I could clearly see the outcome or not.”
“Our purpose must be clear. Purpose means doing God’s work. It can never be activity for selfish reasons alone. There must be some share of gifting and contributing.”
“If you go only where you are welcome, that’s where other people want you to go, not where you choose to go. You’re limited by their vision—not living your own dreams.”
March 5, 2019
An exceptional read of a courageous Christian woman who had an amazing grandmother who instilled so much in her. I had watched videos of desegregation and have read about it but this book truly helps me to grasp how difficult the experience of being African-American during this dangerous and tumultuous time.
February 2, 2022
3.5 stars. I liked this book but I wasn’t expecting it to be such a religious memoir. I think I might like Melba’s other book “Warriors Don’t Cry” more. She certainly has lived a very eventful life and faced more challenges and prejudice than most people. She has also had a very successful life. I can see why she is such a religious person, especially after everything she has been through. While this memoir wasn’t exactly what I expected, it was still worth the read.
August 28, 2023
Well written about her personal experience with racism, hate , and fear and how her dependence and full trust in God saved her life. Definitely recommend. It’s a quick read.
March 11, 2021
This was an interesting read to me. I saw a couple of reviews from people who didn’t like it because they’re atheists. I’m not really sure why they would read this since part of the title is “building faith under fire”. There’s obviously a strong religious portion to the book. In any case, there were aspects to the history in Little Rock I didn’t know, and that was definitely the most interesting part of the book for me. Some parts of her life were really unbelievable. She wrote like a journalist, almost reporting on her own experiences, which left it feeling a little unemotional for me as a memoir, but I found it an interesting read nonetheless.
July 23, 2022
I enjoyed this work written by Melba Pattillo Beals, one of the Little Rock 9, who were the first 9 African American students to integrate Central High School after Brown vs. Board of Education. The refrain that she repeated throughout the book was a sentence from her grandmother, “The Lord is closer than your skin; we can always call on Him.” This reminder will stay with me as it stayed with Melba. This book briefly highlights her experience in Little Rock while also following her entire life through 2015. I was encouraged by her constant dependence of God for provision—not just in Little Rock—but throughout her life as she experienced hardships. Quick read with powerful lessons of faith.
October 12, 2022
I found this book to be very inspiring. Beals writes in a way that is easy to absorb while imagining her ordeals vividly. She is a strong woman with a powerful voice.
Read
January 1, 2021I'm not going to rate this because it was meant to be a religious faith story more than a political history book. I am glad I read it because it was about both racism and sexism through the eyes of someone who lived it, but for me there were too many recounts of experiences which had nothing to do with either of those topics; stories of general life experiences offered as opportunities to talk about religion and the bible.
However, this book has sparked my interest in the author's life, and I will be looking for a more historical/biographical account of her experiences to read.
I read this as part of my Blackout 2020 anti-racism personal reading challenge.
However, this book has sparked my interest in the author's life, and I will be looking for a more historical/biographical account of her experiences to read.
I read this as part of my Blackout 2020 anti-racism personal reading challenge.
February 2, 2018
Melba Pettillo Beals was a young girl in 1957. She was also one of the nine African American students chosen to integrate Little Rock, Arkansas's all-white Central High School. She is one of the faces in the grainy black and white photos that most of us recognize from history class or documentaries on television.
I'm not sure what I was expecting when I picked up this book, but I've come away from the reading of it wishing I could meet Ms. Beals. She wrote so honestly of her life from those days in Little Rock right up to the present. It was eye-opening, for me as a white woman, to read about what it was like in Little Rock and inside Central High from someone who was there, who was right in the middle of it, and experienced it all. She writes of the ways it changed her life and her community, both good and bad. Much of what Beals went through I had never heard about, but I also never thought about it that deeply....the small but constant injustices, the effect it had on the African American community, the toll it took on that group known as the Little Rock Nine.
Beals also writes about her marriage, her career, and her children and life since Little Rock. She was surely shaped by that event and by the strong faith in God fostered in her by her grandmother, whose advice she remembers often and quotes throughout the book. As she shares the new kinds of discrimination and oppression she finds outside of Little Rock as an African American and a woman....even in liberal California....she can't help but share her faith as it is woven throughout her life, a part of who she is. It was very refreshing to read how naturally she makes it a part of her life and leans on God in all things. She could have allowed circumstances to make her bitter or cause her to take actions she'd later regret, but all along she heard her grandmama's advice, the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. when he told her she didn't fight for herself but for those who would come after her, and the still, small voice of God giving her strength.
The life of Ms Beals is a fascinating one and I am glad to have learned about her and her experiences. She has a beautiful spirit and a love of God that is inspiring. I have a better understanding, not only of what things were like back in the 1950's and 60's, but of some of the discrimination still faced by African Americans today. I highly recommend this book to all but young children as some of the things told are rather intense and violent.
I'm not sure what I was expecting when I picked up this book, but I've come away from the reading of it wishing I could meet Ms. Beals. She wrote so honestly of her life from those days in Little Rock right up to the present. It was eye-opening, for me as a white woman, to read about what it was like in Little Rock and inside Central High from someone who was there, who was right in the middle of it, and experienced it all. She writes of the ways it changed her life and her community, both good and bad. Much of what Beals went through I had never heard about, but I also never thought about it that deeply....the small but constant injustices, the effect it had on the African American community, the toll it took on that group known as the Little Rock Nine.
Beals also writes about her marriage, her career, and her children and life since Little Rock. She was surely shaped by that event and by the strong faith in God fostered in her by her grandmother, whose advice she remembers often and quotes throughout the book. As she shares the new kinds of discrimination and oppression she finds outside of Little Rock as an African American and a woman....even in liberal California....she can't help but share her faith as it is woven throughout her life, a part of who she is. It was very refreshing to read how naturally she makes it a part of her life and leans on God in all things. She could have allowed circumstances to make her bitter or cause her to take actions she'd later regret, but all along she heard her grandmama's advice, the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. when he told her she didn't fight for herself but for those who would come after her, and the still, small voice of God giving her strength.
The life of Ms Beals is a fascinating one and I am glad to have learned about her and her experiences. She has a beautiful spirit and a love of God that is inspiring. I have a better understanding, not only of what things were like back in the 1950's and 60's, but of some of the discrimination still faced by African Americans today. I highly recommend this book to all but young children as some of the things told are rather intense and violent.
February 16, 2021
I have not read this author's book Warriors Don't Cry, but I think I might like that one more. There's no doubt Melba faced some terrifying situations with courage and faith in God. I just wonder if her understanding of God is a bit off. At one point the author talks about the chance to rent a beautiful house that shouldn't be available to them due to budget. She says, "I thought this was a miracle blessing being offered by God because I'd been such an angel." Really? Does God give us material blessings? Yes. But out of His goodness, not because we have done anything so wonderful to deserve them. And I'm sorry, but I cringe a bit to hear someone call herself "an angel".
Melba also talks about receiving the Congressional Gold Medal along with the other 8 students who first integrated into the school in Little Rock. I have nothing against them receiving this award, and I think it was deserved. But Melba says that she felt God telling her, "this extraordinary award is because you kept your faith, followed My directions, and completed My assignment in a manner that I hoped you would." Hmmm. It's wonderful to be recognized here on earth, but our ultimate reward is in heaven.
I think in trying to cover the trials faced during her entire life, the author lacks details that personally I want as a reader. Her two boys are suddenly being stalked by men trying to kidnap them. These men approach her in a park and a grocery store and keep saying things like, "We'll be in touch." What?!? That came out of the blue. The beautiful house they rent that is supposedly a blessing offered by God is repeatedly broken into. A man with a knife comes in and tries to attack them. Again, what?!? There was not enough information for me to understand these parts of the story and before I knew it we were moving onto something else.
This review is in no way meant to discount what Melba experienced. She faced the integration into Central High with courage and faith. I just couldn't get past the issues I had with this story enough to enjoy the book.
Melba also talks about receiving the Congressional Gold Medal along with the other 8 students who first integrated into the school in Little Rock. I have nothing against them receiving this award, and I think it was deserved. But Melba says that she felt God telling her, "this extraordinary award is because you kept your faith, followed My directions, and completed My assignment in a manner that I hoped you would." Hmmm. It's wonderful to be recognized here on earth, but our ultimate reward is in heaven.
I think in trying to cover the trials faced during her entire life, the author lacks details that personally I want as a reader. Her two boys are suddenly being stalked by men trying to kidnap them. These men approach her in a park and a grocery store and keep saying things like, "We'll be in touch." What?!? That came out of the blue. The beautiful house they rent that is supposedly a blessing offered by God is repeatedly broken into. A man with a knife comes in and tries to attack them. Again, what?!? There was not enough information for me to understand these parts of the story and before I knew it we were moving onto something else.
This review is in no way meant to discount what Melba experienced. She faced the integration into Central High with courage and faith. I just couldn't get past the issues I had with this story enough to enjoy the book.
February 1, 2018
Despite the 1954 U.S. Supreme Court ruling against it, racial segregation in public schools was still prevalent in Little Rock, Arkansas for years afterward. In 1957, nine African American students were chosen to integrate the city’s all-white Central High School. Those students became known as the Little Rock Nine. One of their number, author Melba Pattillo Beals, recounts this matter and more in her memoir, I Will Not Fear: My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith Under Fire.
As the title indicates, this isn’t just an account contained within the Civil Rights Movement of the 1950s and 60s, but it spans much more of the author’s lifetime and experiences. Even so, issues of prejudice and equal (or unequal) rights, including gender inequality, appear frequently throughout this story of adversity, faith, and perseverance.
This isn’t a book about detached, historical “figures” but about people. It’s not a testimony of immediate victories for social justice, or complete accord within the black community. Beals wasn’t even always sure she was doing the right thing by being a part of integration.
The author makes interesting points, including how racism isn’t merely about donning conspicuous white hoods or blatantly calling black people “niggers.” Subtle racism is just as vicious, and also treacherous, particularly when it’s institutionalized or otherwise trickier to call out and combat. Still, one of my biggest takeaways from the book is that when it comes to injustice and other challenges, you have to know when it’s time to hold your peace and simply keep on living, and when it’s time to speak up and fight.
Again, this book is about much more than racism and civil rights, but I’d recommend it to anyone with an interest in social justice, Christian memoirs, or both.
___________
Revell provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for an honest review.
As the title indicates, this isn’t just an account contained within the Civil Rights Movement of the 1950s and 60s, but it spans much more of the author’s lifetime and experiences. Even so, issues of prejudice and equal (or unequal) rights, including gender inequality, appear frequently throughout this story of adversity, faith, and perseverance.
This isn’t a book about detached, historical “figures” but about people. It’s not a testimony of immediate victories for social justice, or complete accord within the black community. Beals wasn’t even always sure she was doing the right thing by being a part of integration.
The author makes interesting points, including how racism isn’t merely about donning conspicuous white hoods or blatantly calling black people “niggers.” Subtle racism is just as vicious, and also treacherous, particularly when it’s institutionalized or otherwise trickier to call out and combat. Still, one of my biggest takeaways from the book is that when it comes to injustice and other challenges, you have to know when it’s time to hold your peace and simply keep on living, and when it’s time to speak up and fight.
Again, this book is about much more than racism and civil rights, but I’d recommend it to anyone with an interest in social justice, Christian memoirs, or both.
___________
Revell provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for an honest review.
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