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Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids
Many of us enter parenthood with a perfect vision of what our family will be. But along the way we discover that the children we've been blessed with are real human beings, with their own minds, ideals, and views of the world. Our influence only goes so far, and when those children reach the pre-teen and teenage years, it may seem to have disappeared completely. Yet at no time in a kid's life is their parents' positive, godly influence more critical.
For parents who are concerned that their child is pulling away, following poor role models, or making choices that will lead to pain and difficulty, Mike Berry has good it's not too late. He offers parents nine keys to maximizing and leveraging their influence to help their children through these difficult years and develop a relationship with them that can weather any storm.
For parents who are concerned that their child is pulling away, following poor role models, or making choices that will lead to pain and difficulty, Mike Berry has good it's not too late. He offers parents nine keys to maximizing and leveraging their influence to help their children through these difficult years and develop a relationship with them that can weather any storm.
224 pages, Paperback
Published February 5, 2019
19 people are currently reading
989 people want to read
About the author
Mike Berry
63 books18 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
May 17, 2021
What a book, y’all! I feel like a read it so fast because I couldn’t stop taking in all of the advice Mike offered. A quick read through to get an idea of the book as a whole this time and next time I will work through/write out the Pause to Reflect questions at the end of each chapter.
Not only do I love the advice that was given in this book, but I love that it is focused on long-term parenting. He applies his advice for parents with small children to parents of grown children and everywhere in between. He also includes parents who have children of their own, adopted children, or a blend of both.
Highly recommend this one! Just be sure to get yourself a brand new package of highlighters because you’re gonna need them! ☺️
Not only do I love the advice that was given in this book, but I love that it is focused on long-term parenting. He applies his advice for parents with small children to parents of grown children and everywhere in between. He also includes parents who have children of their own, adopted children, or a blend of both.
Highly recommend this one! Just be sure to get yourself a brand new package of highlighters because you’re gonna need them! ☺️
January 20, 2020
MUST READ FOR ALL PARENTS WITH KIDS AT HOME!
Practical ways to move from a parent with good intentions to an intentional parent! I loved this book and I’m so glad I read it! I know I will be a better mom for having read this book and I’m super grateful for that! I think it would especially helpful for parents of teenagers. This authors writes from a the perspective of a parent in the trenches - not as a parent who has it all figured out. I appreciated his humble and encouraging attitude! I should probably read this book on an annual basis or whenever I feel like I’m failing as a parent!
Practical ways to move from a parent with good intentions to an intentional parent! I loved this book and I’m so glad I read it! I know I will be a better mom for having read this book and I’m super grateful for that! I think it would especially helpful for parents of teenagers. This authors writes from a the perspective of a parent in the trenches - not as a parent who has it all figured out. I appreciated his humble and encouraging attitude! I should probably read this book on an annual basis or whenever I feel like I’m failing as a parent!
February 9, 2020
This book is full of practical advice regarding what Mike calls the 9 keys to building a positive, lifelong relationship with your kids.
Mike and his wife have adopted eight children and have a wealth of experience to put into this book. I think this book does exactly what it promises and if this is your first book about parenting adopted children, I think you will dive in and gain a lot of helpful and practical information. If you have been in the christian adoption community for any length of time, there will not be much new information here.
The Berry's are a respected name in that community and without a doubt this book will do well.
The publisher provided an ARC through Netgalley. I have voluntarily decided to read and review, giving my personal opinions and thoughts
Mike and his wife have adopted eight children and have a wealth of experience to put into this book. I think this book does exactly what it promises and if this is your first book about parenting adopted children, I think you will dive in and gain a lot of helpful and practical information. If you have been in the christian adoption community for any length of time, there will not be much new information here.
The Berry's are a respected name in that community and without a doubt this book will do well.
The publisher provided an ARC through Netgalley. I have voluntarily decided to read and review, giving my personal opinions and thoughts
May 13, 2022
Too vague, too religious. I’d like to hear more specific advice - this book definitely is not for me.
March 26, 2019
If you are a parent, then this book is relevant for you!
I found myself being challenged and getting my toes stepped on in every chapter!
Just a few things that really jumped out at me…
One of the most important things about parenting–it is what the title says, “winning the heart of your child”. The first chapter title says it well–“Winning the Argument but Losing the Heart…Pick the Right Fight”. The chapter begins with this statement: “Sometimes it is easy to forget that you can win the argument and force the right behavior but lose the heart in the process.”
Why does it feel so important to us as parents that we get it across that we are the one who’s right, and their opinion is wrong?!
And then there’s a chapter about boundaries, and how children need (and want!) them. And it is required of parents that we are consistent. (yes–oh so very difficult!)
He goes on about various matters that are key and important, but another thing that really spoke to me was that we need to allow and be ok with allowing others to have influence on our children’s lives. This especially changes as they get older. This does not mean that parents don’t have any influence anymore….it’s just that it’s different. This is one reason why it is so important to be a part of a community, a church family, or whatever, where there are other spiritually mature Christians who are able and willing to speak into our children’s lives.
What is it that we want people to remember about us, after we are gone? Are we living in a way that is accomplishing that goal?
Parenting is not for the faint of heart, and especially as our children get older… (our third daughter is becoming a teenager this week! :O ) it is so necessary and good and helpful to find books like this one that can give assistance in this journey of life.
As with any books…it is of course important to remember that this book is not the Bible. While it offers much helpful advice, its words must be held up to the light of God’s Word, as we determine what God is asking of each one of us, in our own lives.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review, and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
I found myself being challenged and getting my toes stepped on in every chapter!
Just a few things that really jumped out at me…
One of the most important things about parenting–it is what the title says, “winning the heart of your child”. The first chapter title says it well–“Winning the Argument but Losing the Heart…Pick the Right Fight”. The chapter begins with this statement: “Sometimes it is easy to forget that you can win the argument and force the right behavior but lose the heart in the process.”
Why does it feel so important to us as parents that we get it across that we are the one who’s right, and their opinion is wrong?!
And then there’s a chapter about boundaries, and how children need (and want!) them. And it is required of parents that we are consistent. (yes–oh so very difficult!)
He goes on about various matters that are key and important, but another thing that really spoke to me was that we need to allow and be ok with allowing others to have influence on our children’s lives. This especially changes as they get older. This does not mean that parents don’t have any influence anymore….it’s just that it’s different. This is one reason why it is so important to be a part of a community, a church family, or whatever, where there are other spiritually mature Christians who are able and willing to speak into our children’s lives.
What is it that we want people to remember about us, after we are gone? Are we living in a way that is accomplishing that goal?
Parenting is not for the faint of heart, and especially as our children get older… (our third daughter is becoming a teenager this week! :O ) it is so necessary and good and helpful to find books like this one that can give assistance in this journey of life.
As with any books…it is of course important to remember that this book is not the Bible. While it offers much helpful advice, its words must be held up to the light of God’s Word, as we determine what God is asking of each one of us, in our own lives.
Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review, and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255
April 24, 2019
What is my why in parenting? This is the question I take away from the book, the one I want to think about occasionally. Michael Hyatt said, "People lose their way when they lose their why." And to quote Mike Berry, the author, "When we don't know why we are doing something, when we've forgotten our purpose, we get lost." "Remember that you are in this because you love your child, and ultimately you want to raise a human being who lives with character and integrity and who leaves a lasting impression on the world." That sums it up well, that is why I try to be consistent, that is why I listen and try to answer 10,000 questions a day, that is why I am trying to teach obedience and respect and responsibility. But it is easy to lose the long-term focus and just see the day and all its pressures and frustrations and lose heart and patience.
Mike offers some good practical solutions and tips for help on this parenting journey. I think one of them that sticks out to me is to endure the shift, that time when your child no longer looks to you for their number one person, but instead moves you down to number four and looks to friends, culture and other adults first. You are still on the list and your child is still hearing you even though they might not act like it. Along with that point, his next one was to widen your child's circle of influence and bring in other adults who share your values. A child is more likely to listen to them in five minutes of conversation than they are to you after three weeks of the same conversation. And I am not too old to remember that myself, other people just made more sense than my own parents, even if they were saying the same thing. I still have years until I reach the teenage years, but I know they will creep by swiftly.
I will say that the one thing I struggled with in this book was trusting the author. He doesn't have enough years of parenting under his belt to make me fully trust him. He's only been a parent for 16 years and yes, he spent 17 years in family/life ministry, but I guess for me parenting books should be written by someone who's made it through the trenches and so I struggled to take him seriously. I will say though that he made some excellent points and I think there's much truth behind what he says. He is also the dad to eight children, all of them adopted. And while I don't like making the distinction between adopted and biological children, some of their children are dealing with trauma that happened before they were adopted which has led to much more intense parenting. They also adopted a child at age 24 as well. So all that to say, I don't want to discredit the book at all, I'm just saying what gave me a bit of pause with it.
I received this book from Baker Books and was not required to write a positive review.
Mike offers some good practical solutions and tips for help on this parenting journey. I think one of them that sticks out to me is to endure the shift, that time when your child no longer looks to you for their number one person, but instead moves you down to number four and looks to friends, culture and other adults first. You are still on the list and your child is still hearing you even though they might not act like it. Along with that point, his next one was to widen your child's circle of influence and bring in other adults who share your values. A child is more likely to listen to them in five minutes of conversation than they are to you after three weeks of the same conversation. And I am not too old to remember that myself, other people just made more sense than my own parents, even if they were saying the same thing. I still have years until I reach the teenage years, but I know they will creep by swiftly.
I will say that the one thing I struggled with in this book was trusting the author. He doesn't have enough years of parenting under his belt to make me fully trust him. He's only been a parent for 16 years and yes, he spent 17 years in family/life ministry, but I guess for me parenting books should be written by someone who's made it through the trenches and so I struggled to take him seriously. I will say though that he made some excellent points and I think there's much truth behind what he says. He is also the dad to eight children, all of them adopted. And while I don't like making the distinction between adopted and biological children, some of their children are dealing with trauma that happened before they were adopted which has led to much more intense parenting. They also adopted a child at age 24 as well. So all that to say, I don't want to discredit the book at all, I'm just saying what gave me a bit of pause with it.
I received this book from Baker Books and was not required to write a positive review.
April 29, 2019
Kids, they’re so cute when they’re sleeping, but they don’t sleep all the time. Since our kids are human beings, smaller than us (at least until they hit those teenage growth spurts), and with a lot to learn, we as parents are put in the enviable position of teaching them. They need to learn different things at different stages of their maturing and growing up, and as they pass from one phase to another, they want to learn in different ways.
Luckily, we have authors like Mike Berry (an adoptive father of eight) who is willing to share some of the truths and techniques that he has found during his parenting career. In Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids (Baker Books, 2019) There is a lot of helpful advice, which I like; and he’s managed to avoid the feeling that he’s the expert and we’re all helplessly and hopelessly lost- floundering in the seas of toddler, tween, teen, and young adult.
The reason that he makes this book work is that he is so open and transparent about his own issues with parenting- both on the receiving end, and as a parent. Its not so much ‘this is what you should do’ as it is ‘this is my default position-it rarely if ever has worked, and this has worked better in our family.
There are ‘pros’ to winning an argument, but there are also ‘cons’, and Berry discusses those as a lead-in to setting boundaries. And of course, if you’re anything like every other child in the country you probably know parents like those he describes as Gilmore Girls, Buddy the Elf, General Patton and Mr Strickland.
The core of the book are the 9 keys that he discusses in Part II, “Parenting for the Win”. Most the things he talks about are things that common sense should tell us, but as manner of us have learned over the years, common sense isn’t always all that common. These keys remind us about consistency, influence, involvement along with love, listening and legacy.
All in all, this is a great read for parents on any stage of the journey. It’s better to start early, but very rarely is it too late to get started investing in tomorrow’s relationship with your children
I received a copy of this book as a member of the publisher’s bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review.
5/5
Luckily, we have authors like Mike Berry (an adoptive father of eight) who is willing to share some of the truths and techniques that he has found during his parenting career. In Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids (Baker Books, 2019) There is a lot of helpful advice, which I like; and he’s managed to avoid the feeling that he’s the expert and we’re all helplessly and hopelessly lost- floundering in the seas of toddler, tween, teen, and young adult.
The reason that he makes this book work is that he is so open and transparent about his own issues with parenting- both on the receiving end, and as a parent. Its not so much ‘this is what you should do’ as it is ‘this is my default position-it rarely if ever has worked, and this has worked better in our family.
There are ‘pros’ to winning an argument, but there are also ‘cons’, and Berry discusses those as a lead-in to setting boundaries. And of course, if you’re anything like every other child in the country you probably know parents like those he describes as Gilmore Girls, Buddy the Elf, General Patton and Mr Strickland.
The core of the book are the 9 keys that he discusses in Part II, “Parenting for the Win”. Most the things he talks about are things that common sense should tell us, but as manner of us have learned over the years, common sense isn’t always all that common. These keys remind us about consistency, influence, involvement along with love, listening and legacy.
All in all, this is a great read for parents on any stage of the journey. It’s better to start early, but very rarely is it too late to get started investing in tomorrow’s relationship with your children
I received a copy of this book as a member of the publisher’s bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review.
5/5
February 5, 2019
What can I say about a man who has written well in talking about parenting? I know that I can say that Mike Berry knows what he's talking about as him and his wife, Kristin, have been parents to eight children through adoption. Through their blog Confessions of an Adoptive Parent he has been able to amass a readership in the tens of thousands in helping other parents. Considering I am in my forties along with my wife of ten years we ought to be parents ourselves, but we're unable to have any children, but then again I feel I digress.
With all of that said, I feel I can say that Mike Berry's book Winning the Heart of Your Child has a great tone and feel to it. Within the pages of the book, which I refuse to spoil completely, you can expect to find advice on how to better understand and to effectively win your child's heart. Another part of what I can say he's done well with this book is that he sounds like Alex Kendrick playing a father and fellow law enforcement officer from Courageous: "I don't want to be a good enough father. I want to be the best father I can be to my children!"
Finally, the last thing that comes to mind is what the Bible says about being an effective parent. Paul wrote the words, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:1-4, New King James, italics for emphasis).
As I come from the upbringing of a father who not only served in the armed forces, but loved his children as best he could I can say that one of the worst things a father can do to their children is to frustrate them with shame, guilt, and hardly next to no love. But that's not the case with my own dad. He did his best to show my sister and myself a great deal of love, but he did what he could to raise his children to be honoring of others in this life.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Baker Books for a fair and honest review of the pages within it.
With all of that said, I feel I can say that Mike Berry's book Winning the Heart of Your Child has a great tone and feel to it. Within the pages of the book, which I refuse to spoil completely, you can expect to find advice on how to better understand and to effectively win your child's heart. Another part of what I can say he's done well with this book is that he sounds like Alex Kendrick playing a father and fellow law enforcement officer from Courageous: "I don't want to be a good enough father. I want to be the best father I can be to my children!"
Finally, the last thing that comes to mind is what the Bible says about being an effective parent. Paul wrote the words, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:1-4, New King James, italics for emphasis).
As I come from the upbringing of a father who not only served in the armed forces, but loved his children as best he could I can say that one of the worst things a father can do to their children is to frustrate them with shame, guilt, and hardly next to no love. But that's not the case with my own dad. He did his best to show my sister and myself a great deal of love, but he did what he could to raise his children to be honoring of others in this life.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Baker Books for a fair and honest review of the pages within it.
February 11, 2019
Winning the Heart of Your Child focuses on nine keys that will help parents to bridge the gap between them and their children and build a better relationship. Berry talks about how to use your time wisely as parents. He encourages us to think about the legacy we want to leave behind and focus on that instead of winning arguments which won’t matter in the long run.
As the father of eight adoptive children, Berry reminds us that one of the major roles of parents is nurturing. It’s not just the role of the mother – both parents ought to nurture their children.
Know God – Berry reminded us that Satan is an opponent of family. He seeks to destroy our connection to our children through fear. Satan tells us that we are inadequate and that we have already failed to parent our children effectively. He uses these lies to hinder us as parents. But thank God for Jesus. Through Christ, we have the power to diminish the negative voices which speak lies into our parenting journey and instead focus on the One who is Truth and Light.
While not overtly Christian, Winning the Heart of Your Child teaches biblical principles. This book will remind you that your children are a gift from God and should be celebrated for who they are and supported along their journey.
Know yourself – throughout Winning the Heart of Your Child, Berry shared stories from his own parenting journey. These stories encourage us to afford ourselves grace as we parent our children. We need to also learn to identify the things which hamper us as parents. Doing this will help us to actively work on those things so we can be better parents, parents who pursue the hearts of our children.
Run your race – the key to being a good parent is to remember that each of us has a unique journey. Our children are different and so are we. While we are able to follow the same principles and have similar results, we have to get away from our practice of comparing ourselves to other parents. We have to stop comparing our children to other peoples’ children. Allow our children to be themselves as we focus on winning their hearts.
I received an advance reader copy through the Baker Book Bloggers program. My opinions are my own.
As the father of eight adoptive children, Berry reminds us that one of the major roles of parents is nurturing. It’s not just the role of the mother – both parents ought to nurture their children.
Know God – Berry reminded us that Satan is an opponent of family. He seeks to destroy our connection to our children through fear. Satan tells us that we are inadequate and that we have already failed to parent our children effectively. He uses these lies to hinder us as parents. But thank God for Jesus. Through Christ, we have the power to diminish the negative voices which speak lies into our parenting journey and instead focus on the One who is Truth and Light.
While not overtly Christian, Winning the Heart of Your Child teaches biblical principles. This book will remind you that your children are a gift from God and should be celebrated for who they are and supported along their journey.
Know yourself – throughout Winning the Heart of Your Child, Berry shared stories from his own parenting journey. These stories encourage us to afford ourselves grace as we parent our children. We need to also learn to identify the things which hamper us as parents. Doing this will help us to actively work on those things so we can be better parents, parents who pursue the hearts of our children.
Run your race – the key to being a good parent is to remember that each of us has a unique journey. Our children are different and so are we. While we are able to follow the same principles and have similar results, we have to get away from our practice of comparing ourselves to other parents. We have to stop comparing our children to other peoples’ children. Allow our children to be themselves as we focus on winning their hearts.
I received an advance reader copy through the Baker Book Bloggers program. My opinions are my own.
January 30, 2019
I loved Mike Berry's book Confessions of an Adoptive Parent, so I was excited to read his newest title. In Winning the Heart of Your Child, Berry seeks to offer parents nine keys to building healthy relationships with their kids. He reviews various parenting styles, shares stories from his own family, and gives a lot of hope and encouragement. At the end of each chapter, he provides questions to help readers process the information that was just read.
As an adoptive parent, I appreciated that the author came from a foster/adoptive background because he understands some of the unique challenges that can arise. I am thankful that I read this book now, while my children are young (4, 5 & 8). I gained a lot of insight as to what I should be thinking about as they get older (although he makes very clear in the book that it is never too late to start using these principles).
While I found some of the information to be common sense, there were many times when I was greatly convicted in how I have chosen to parent my boys. He made me stop and think about my own parenting style, and identify what is working and what is not. I found quite a few practical, helpful suggestions that I have since put into practice, with great success. I would definitely recommend this book to any parent.
I received an advance reader copy of this book from the publisher.
As an adoptive parent, I appreciated that the author came from a foster/adoptive background because he understands some of the unique challenges that can arise. I am thankful that I read this book now, while my children are young (4, 5 & 8). I gained a lot of insight as to what I should be thinking about as they get older (although he makes very clear in the book that it is never too late to start using these principles).
While I found some of the information to be common sense, there were many times when I was greatly convicted in how I have chosen to parent my boys. He made me stop and think about my own parenting style, and identify what is working and what is not. I found quite a few practical, helpful suggestions that I have since put into practice, with great success. I would definitely recommend this book to any parent.
I received an advance reader copy of this book from the publisher.
February 21, 2019
Parenting is hard. But it is one of the most rewarding parts of life. People often say that there is no manual that comes with children. Recently, I heard something very intuitive. There IS a manual for raising children and it's the HOLY BIBLE. And books like Winning the Heart of Your Child by Mike Berry also make a wonderful effort to provide guidance for child-rearing. In this positive parenting book, Berry provides "9 keys to building a positive lifelong relationship with your kids." Berry's advice is so helpful and thought provoking. He takes a candid and relatable approach that changes the way parenting is sometimes portrayed. His positive parenting ideas will be sure to reflect positive results and improvements in children.
I am always up for reading a good parenting book because I can use all the tips I can get! I really enjoyed this book and was able to glean a lot of helpful information from it. I love the author's viewpoint and 9 memorable keys to parenting. I also love the idea of positive parenting. I recognized many parenting mistakes I have been making and I am already using the information I found in this book to help me improve as a positive parent. Thank you so much to Baker Books for the chance to review this book!
I am always up for reading a good parenting book because I can use all the tips I can get! I really enjoyed this book and was able to glean a lot of helpful information from it. I love the author's viewpoint and 9 memorable keys to parenting. I also love the idea of positive parenting. I recognized many parenting mistakes I have been making and I am already using the information I found in this book to help me improve as a positive parent. Thank you so much to Baker Books for the chance to review this book!
February 6, 2019
If you’re a parent, this book is a must read. The author takes a pretty wide subject (parenting well) and tunes it in to the most important thing: winning our child’s heart and what that looks like. He gives practical advice and lays out clear guidance on how to connect with our child’s heart rather than having behaviors and drama win. He encourages us to watch the way we respond to our children’s mistakes and make sure criticism and harshness aren’t in it. He reminds us to surround our children with other influencers, knowing the more love and truth we surround them with, the better it can be for their hearts.
This is a book I will keep on the shelf to continue referring to. We all long for our child’s heart to stay connected to us into adulthood, where we can enjoy a friendship with them. This book encourages us to keep that in the forefront of our mind and gives great examples and ways to do that. In the unpredictable days of parenting, it is refreshing to have Berry’s voice reminding us the ways we can keep that connection to our child’s heart strong.
This is a book I will keep on the shelf to continue referring to. We all long for our child’s heart to stay connected to us into adulthood, where we can enjoy a friendship with them. This book encourages us to keep that in the forefront of our mind and gives great examples and ways to do that. In the unpredictable days of parenting, it is refreshing to have Berry’s voice reminding us the ways we can keep that connection to our child’s heart strong.
February 6, 2019
"Winning the Heart of Your Child" by Mike Berry is filled with experience-based knowledge and wise advice. It is a great new parenting resource applicable to all parents, filled with encouragement, hope and solid advice to be a positive parenting influence connecting to your child's heart, no matter how old your child is.
The author covers four basic parenting style traps that hurt a parents ability to influence their kids in a positive way (often winning the argument but not the heart). Then he covers 9 keys that aid in building a positive lifelong relationship with your kids, winning their heart. From loving boundaries, to consistency, to love no matter what, and keeping a long term perspective (raising future adults not kids), the book is full of positive advice not shame, meeting parents where they are with hope and help.
This book is a quick and interesting read that I enjoyed, providing actionable advice that can impact my parenting today for the better.
* I received a free copy of the book from the publisher but my opinion and words are my own.
The author covers four basic parenting style traps that hurt a parents ability to influence their kids in a positive way (often winning the argument but not the heart). Then he covers 9 keys that aid in building a positive lifelong relationship with your kids, winning their heart. From loving boundaries, to consistency, to love no matter what, and keeping a long term perspective (raising future adults not kids), the book is full of positive advice not shame, meeting parents where they are with hope and help.
This book is a quick and interesting read that I enjoyed, providing actionable advice that can impact my parenting today for the better.
* I received a free copy of the book from the publisher but my opinion and words are my own.
February 12, 2019
“People lose their way when they lose their why” - Michael Hyatt
Stay focused on today's stage and where your children are right now. P 77
As he outlines the keys. Mike does an excellent job of weaving the changes in our children and how to use our influence with them.
He encourages us to embrace the changes and reach out to positive voices of influence around us.
As our children move into the teen years, Mike encourages us to be all there with our kids, and listen without judgement.
On p 132, Mike makes a profound statement after they had been shaken by decisions their children were making: “Even though they had made some serious mistakes, we did not let those define them.” We all make mistakes. We must allow room for our children to fail. “Remember that your goal is not to make your children march in line, but to help them understand how to live in freedom. This happens through love, not just rules or restrictions.”
Mike draws from his experience as a pastor, adoptive parent, and speaker to provide relatable principles to improve your relationship with your children.
Stay focused on today's stage and where your children are right now. P 77
As he outlines the keys. Mike does an excellent job of weaving the changes in our children and how to use our influence with them.
He encourages us to embrace the changes and reach out to positive voices of influence around us.
As our children move into the teen years, Mike encourages us to be all there with our kids, and listen without judgement.
On p 132, Mike makes a profound statement after they had been shaken by decisions their children were making: “Even though they had made some serious mistakes, we did not let those define them.” We all make mistakes. We must allow room for our children to fail. “Remember that your goal is not to make your children march in line, but to help them understand how to live in freedom. This happens through love, not just rules or restrictions.”
Mike draws from his experience as a pastor, adoptive parent, and speaker to provide relatable principles to improve your relationship with your children.
March 3, 2019
Winning the Heart of Your Child focuses on nine keys that will help parents overcome the bridge between children and them to develop a more healthier relationship. As a parent, you only have so much time with your children between the influences of school, coaches and even the church. Mike talks about parents need to use their time wisely with their children and that winning arguments doesn't matter in the long run. Parents don't need to be right, they need to think about the heart of the child, the legacy they want their children to carry and remember that is more important than being right, especially in a society where people always need to be right. This is probably one of the biggest truths I took away from the book. Mike does a fantastic job at writing several other truths throughout this book that parents can gain so much knowledge and understanding from. If you want to gain the heart of your child, this is a great book!
March 6, 2019
Mike Berry does not provide any particularly new insights into the task of parenting, but he does offer fantastic reminders regarding how we should parent and how our Christian task should influence this amazing responsibility. Berry explores issues like blending love and discipline, dealing with life transition such as that from childhood to teenager, encouraging the positive influence of other adults in the lives of your child, making your family a priority in how you use your time, being involved with your kids by being aware of their interests, have consistent follow up when rules are put in place, making love the guiding principle in all your interactions with your family, be aware of the fears that you have when approaching parenting, and how to leave a lasting legacy. All of these were presented in a readable manner and challenge the parent to shift priorities. This book was given to me as a part of Baker Publishing's blogging program.
February 13, 2019
Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids is a thoughtful parenting book by Mike Berry. One of my favorite parts of the book was when Berry compared parenting in movies and TV shows (such as Gilmore Girls) to what real-life parenting should ideally look like.
Throughout the book, Berry shares a lot of great advice, such as when he discusses in depth the four roles of good parents (nurturers, defenders, leaders, and models). I like how Berry tells the reader about nine “keys” that will help build positive relationships with your kids; my favorite key that he explored was “love no matter what.” The book is especially helpful for parents of teenagers. In the midst of busy lives with often little downtime, this book can help parents and teens maintain healthy relationships.
I received this book for review.
Throughout the book, Berry shares a lot of great advice, such as when he discusses in depth the four roles of good parents (nurturers, defenders, leaders, and models). I like how Berry tells the reader about nine “keys” that will help build positive relationships with your kids; my favorite key that he explored was “love no matter what.” The book is especially helpful for parents of teenagers. In the midst of busy lives with often little downtime, this book can help parents and teens maintain healthy relationships.
I received this book for review.
January 2, 2020
Mike Berry explores the different parenting approaches that most parents take when raising their children. I could identify with some of these approaches and could think of others close to me who fell within the other approaches. Berry expresses in depth that most of these approaches are missing a key point in raising your children which is connecting with them. A common theme is asking yourself what is more important in your role as a parent: winning an argument or connecting with your child? I appreciated that this book clearly outlined that being your child's "friend" is not the right parenting approach, but that you can love your child while disciplining them and that, in fact, disciplining your child IS love. I think this is a book I can keep around and go back to when I'm feeling frustrated or overwhelmed with parenting my kids and my foster kids.
May 5, 2019
Solid 3 STARS
Just like I've said in the previous review, I try to read parenting books as many as I can before my first son born. So this is my second book of "parenting" readathon!
I want to have healthy relationship with my son. I want to win his heart and I want him to know that he's the world to me (and my husband).
This book show us (parents) the basic. Something that we should always remember to do to our child. How we supposed to act and our responsibility.
One of my favourite quotes (from the book) is "When you wake up, remember that your kids are human beings like you—flesh-and-blood, mistake-making human beings. So give your kids and yourselves a break. Remember to exercise your influence in loving, purposeful, constructive, affirming ways."
Just like I've said in the previous review, I try to read parenting books as many as I can before my first son born. So this is my second book of "parenting" readathon!
I want to have healthy relationship with my son. I want to win his heart and I want him to know that he's the world to me (and my husband).
This book show us (parents) the basic. Something that we should always remember to do to our child. How we supposed to act and our responsibility.
One of my favourite quotes (from the book) is "When you wake up, remember that your kids are human beings like you—flesh-and-blood, mistake-making human beings. So give your kids and yourselves a break. Remember to exercise your influence in loving, purposeful, constructive, affirming ways."
February 5, 2019
We all want to be good parents, and Mike Berry showed me nine of the key ways of becoming a parent who influences, connects, and leads his or her children at a heart level. Winning the Heart of Your Child is a book that I’m sure I will reread and reference many times throughout this parenting journey. It is full of hope in the midst of trials and brings perspective to many of the struggles we face raising these little humans into adults. One of my favorite quotes is: “Being a good parent is not about being perfect or making all the right choices or never messing up. It’s about accepting this great opportunity in spite of our imperfections.” There were moments in reading this book that I cringed, knowing I had done exactly the wrong thing, but Mike never left me there. He was always quick to say, “It’s done, so let’s move forward with more knowledge and commit to loving our kids a different way from now on [my paraphrase].” It also helped when he said that he’s been there, which made me feel not so alone on this crazy ride of parenting. I highly recommend this book to any parent who wants to connect with their kids more!
February 7, 2019
This book was beautiful writing, very inspiring and deep insightful of practical tools that will help to all the parents to achieve the healthiest relationship with your child, especially during their young and eventually when the are adults with this three central parenting principles of understand your influence, shift your perspective on your role as a parent, fight for what matter most with the love of God supporting you. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. “ I received complimentary a copy of this book from Baker Books Bloggers for this review”.
April 11, 2019
"Winning the Heart of Your Child" is a winner for parents! There are many insights here for any parent and parent-to-be. The reminder for parents to put down your electronics is so true, and for me, that also meant to put down my book when my children are around, so that opportunities for interaction are not missed. Now I need to hand this book to someone know who needs to read this!
I received this book with much appreciation from a Goodreads giveaway, and my opinions are my own.
I received this book with much appreciation from a Goodreads giveaway, and my opinions are my own.
November 5, 2019
Very good book. Reminded me of the importance of being intentional, focusing on the end goal of knowing and championing my kids' hearts, and then taking steps to persue that end. The most helpful part of the book for me was his description of the typical parenting styles and what is the end result of each. I struggle with wanting to be my kids' friend, like the "Gilmore Girl approach," so it was eye opening to see the dangers in that style and what is more effective instead.
March 28, 2019
#6 of 2019. I can't even begin to tell you how helpful this book is. I have asked my husband to read it and I've planned several conversations with my daughter based on things in this book. I believe it is a must-read for any parent of teens and am recommending it to the youth minister at our church as a resource for parents.
January 3, 2020
Winning the Heart of Your Child by Mike Berry is a beautifully written book that all parents should read. It is a book filled with hope. The author clearly explains parenting pitfalls without judgment. He shows a better way of reaching your child's heart. I highly recommend it! I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.
March 2, 2020
Beautifully written, and just what I needed to hear right now. The last two chapters where by far the best.. understanding the path you are on as a parent, and realigning that to the heart of your child. I loved the dynamic of the teenage years, and the reassurance of love and our unique family atmosphere.
September 24, 2023
I enjoyed this book. It opened my eyes to way to improve my relationship and communication with my children. I have a lot to apply and change from how I was taught and experienced. I like that the author draws from his personal experiences and challenges to share what he has learned from the application of these principles in his own families life.
October 28, 2019
This was a great little book on parenting and making good use of our influence. It can be a little repetitive, but worth a read! Berry's message to parents who do too much teaching and not enough relating spoke to me in particular!
February 17, 2019
Awesome practical read
Awesome read like Mike’s others books. Down to earth resources for parents and Grandparent. Keep on the journey, don’t forget where you are going
Awesome read like Mike’s others books. Down to earth resources for parents and Grandparent. Keep on the journey, don’t forget where you are going
March 1, 2019
Such a great book. Encouraging parents to fight for connection with their kids no matter their age or relationship!!!
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