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Manic Kingdom: A True Story of Breakdown and Breakthrough
Could that disheveled young woman— rooting around in the trash for potatoes and clothes— possibly be a med student? The unthinkable becomes reality when you are seduced by the Manic Kingdom. It can upend your seemingly pitch-perfect existence, thrusting you into a world where your inhibitions, intellect, and instincts are powerless to save you. Join Erin Stair on the journey of a lifetime. Based on a true story, Becka is on the verge of becoming a doctor, immersed in the world of physical and mental illness, while her own mental health was crumbling. Travel with her 3,000 miles away to California, where she fled from her school, her roommate and her life, finding romance and companionship with a mysterious man known only to her as “King.” King was helpful to her in many ways, but was she ignoring warning signs that disaster was right around the corner? Manic Kingdom is a frightening, sometimes humorous, essential reminder of how we can lose ourselves, how dangerous we can be to ourselves, and how fragile stability can be.
- GenresNonfictionMemoirMystery
296 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 4, 2018
21 people are currently reading
466 people want to read
About the author
Erin Stair
4 books82 followersBloomingwellness.com, my website, has my extensive bio.
"She's not from around here."
I'm a public health analyst, with a focus on epidemiology, and a scicomms specialist. I'm the author of 2 books: Manic Kingdom and Yours in Wellness, Krystal Heeling, which is best consumed as an audiobook.
"She's not from around here."
I'm a public health analyst, with a focus on epidemiology, and a scicomms specialist. I'm the author of 2 books: Manic Kingdom and Yours in Wellness, Krystal Heeling, which is best consumed as an audiobook.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
July 15, 2018
I rated my own book! haha-
Guys, this is actually under an "Erin Stair" who isn't ME. I'm the author!
The true page for the Manic Kingdom book that is connected to my REAL author page is here:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3...
Guys, this is actually under an "Erin Stair" who isn't ME. I'm the author!
The true page for the Manic Kingdom book that is connected to my REAL author page is here:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3...
Want to read
December 1, 2018Update! For those of you who saw the Community Question harshly criticizing a one-star reviewer of this book, please be aware that it was written by the author's sister without author Erin Stair's knowledge, let alone sanction.
Because my Spidey senses told me that Erin might not have known about the question and might also be alarmed by it given the unwritten code of ethics we virulently hold our authors to here on Goodreads ("THOU SHALT NOT SPAZ OUT AT NEGATIVE REVIEWS!"), I went ahead and notified Erin via private message. My Spidey senses were correct; she did not know about or support the post. She has included her response to my private message to me here in the comments, so you can see for yourselves. I'll delete all of this once the post is gone, but I wanted to make sure Erin's response was publicly available in the meantime so her role is not misinterpreted.
Bottom line (TL;dr): please don't hold Erin accountable for the misguided actions of her sister!
Because my Spidey senses told me that Erin might not have known about the question and might also be alarmed by it given the unwritten code of ethics we virulently hold our authors to here on Goodreads ("THOU SHALT NOT SPAZ OUT AT NEGATIVE REVIEWS!"), I went ahead and notified Erin via private message. My Spidey senses were correct; she did not know about or support the post. She has included her response to my private message to me here in the comments, so you can see for yourselves. I'll delete all of this once the post is gone, but I wanted to make sure Erin's response was publicly available in the meantime so her role is not misinterpreted.
Bottom line (TL;dr): please don't hold Erin accountable for the misguided actions of her sister!
March 2, 2018
This book engrossed me from the start. It is the true story of a pretty, and intelligent young woman in medical school who finds herself in the midst of a mental downward spiral, leading herself to put herself in situations of unknown and peril. Stair writes her story with raw honesty, and is able to find humor at times in her experiences. I could not put it down as I kept wanting to know how her story and life turned out. This book is not a self-help book, but her memoir of her personal experiences. Anyone can suffer from a breakdown at any period in their life, and this is a great book for those people to read to help them realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I truly loved this book!
February 20, 2019
This is an era where, as far as I can see, people question nothing. We experience the world in a very narrow sphere, where our views make us comfortable, as do our friends and family who share our views and values-- everyone else is, well, other. Dangerous. We don't question, because we have perused our curated newsfeeds and Facebook walls and we have been insulated to believe whatever we feel is right.
Erin Stair is an author who questions everything; even her own mind and her own perceptions. This is a rare quality in a storyteller, and what a story Dr. Stair tells in "Manic Kingdom." Stair treats her reader with respect-- respect for their intelligence and for their intestinal fortitude in tagging along with her for this exciting, frightening, mysterious, and challenging journey. "Manic Kingdom" isn't an easy book to read; it will make you uncomfortable, maybe even a little bit scared, and that's good. It will definitely lead you to make judgments about Stair and the decisions made during the course of this book, but hopefully, in time, the book will also lead you to question your own life and decisions; how do you view people and how do you view yourself? Are you flexible in your thoughts and feelings; do you believe in second chances? Do you see good people and bad people, or just... people?
In any event, Erin Stair is a very skilled author whose tale is well worth your time. You won't be able to put it down until it's done and, once it's done, you won't be able to stop thinking about it.
Erin Stair is an author who questions everything; even her own mind and her own perceptions. This is a rare quality in a storyteller, and what a story Dr. Stair tells in "Manic Kingdom." Stair treats her reader with respect-- respect for their intelligence and for their intestinal fortitude in tagging along with her for this exciting, frightening, mysterious, and challenging journey. "Manic Kingdom" isn't an easy book to read; it will make you uncomfortable, maybe even a little bit scared, and that's good. It will definitely lead you to make judgments about Stair and the decisions made during the course of this book, but hopefully, in time, the book will also lead you to question your own life and decisions; how do you view people and how do you view yourself? Are you flexible in your thoughts and feelings; do you believe in second chances? Do you see good people and bad people, or just... people?
In any event, Erin Stair is a very skilled author whose tale is well worth your time. You won't be able to put it down until it's done and, once it's done, you won't be able to stop thinking about it.
August 18, 2022
Briefly: received as a Goodreads Giveaway in exchange for an unbiased review. One of the best of these I think I’ve received so far in both content and craft- a gripping memoir written with the right amount of reflection.
February 28, 2018
That was so good. You made me feel like I was reliving my own breakdown again. And the way you bring out the bad and good in people- the complications and nuances-- amazing! I like how King isn't just a horrible homeless rapist, etc., - he's a person-- that must have been so hard to write.
January 10, 2019
I won this book through Goodreads.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Great page turner. I'd definitely recommend.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Great page turner. I'd definitely recommend.
November 10, 2018
This book was incredibly well-written and an amazing journey into what it FEELS like to break down and join ranks with the other outliers and eccentrics of life on a bizarre yet highly entertaining, engrossing, often funny adventure. It's so raw and real, and Dr. Erin Stair, for her first novel, unbelievably taps into the core of what makes us human. She perfectly shows the reader how a seemingly perfect life can change, almost over night. This book came as a recommendation to me from a friend who said I would question "sanity" from "insanity" after this, as well as "cures" from "causes." My friend couldn't have been more right. This book has everything and is not only a page-turner that I read in one sitting, but a book that will make the great thinkers of our time think some more.
Want to read
March 23, 2018Placeholder
I won this book via Goodreads Giveaways.
I won this book via Goodreads Giveaways.
May 1, 2019
Very interesting and informative about how our psychic can mess us up.Manic personality
Thank you for making people
aware about mental awareness. You are wonderful for following your instincts and helping others to defeat their demons as well.
Thank you for making people
aware about mental awareness. You are wonderful for following your instincts and helping others to defeat their demons as well.
April 24, 2018
This was intense, to say the least. I have no clue what to really make of it.
May 1, 2018
intriguing read
I enjoyed it! Great story line and easy to follow along. Thank you for sharing your story with us. :)
I enjoyed it! Great story line and easy to follow along. Thank you for sharing your story with us. :)
May 2, 2018
This book is for geniuses! She nails the feeling of mental illness out of the park. It's an epic read, a total page-turner, a total thriller and totally worth every second. Well done!
June 19, 2018
Great trip down the rabbit hole of mania. This is a must read for anyone who wants to know what crazy is like.
August 30, 2018
Once I picked it up I couldn't put it down. I read it in one setting. It was a captivating look inside something that is so often stigmatized and unspoken with truth and wit.
December 20, 2018
This book blew me away.
It's not a feel good book, no, so if you are trying to escape your dismal reality, this book isn't for you. Read Harry Potter for that. This book leaves you with a kind of darkness. That's why it's so darn poetic to me. I'm writing that, because I noticed reviewers tend to only give "positive" reviews to books with happy endings that allow you to escape your lives and not confront your own truths and that don't really get to the crux of life. Stair gets to that and it hits you like a knife across the jugular: That things are ambiguous. That things DON'T actually make sense; that things are often irrational and our answers are merely guesses. That there is uncertainty and chaos and the joke is that we try to make sense of it all. That cures might actually be causes and that there is so much insanity in organized convention, but we are too connected ( like the Matrix) to see it.
This is a book about a medical student Becka, who is eccentric and questions uncertainty. She questions uncertainty in her day-to-day clinical practice as well as when she sees therapists as a patient. ( For bulimia and depression) She's struggling with a sense of meaning, a recent breakup and a roommate whose mind seems to unravel. Things get worse and you feel it and she shows you. It's raw. It's honest. Her questioning convention makes her life twenty times harder than the average med student who just seems to accept things as they are. The second part of the book blew me away. It's where we meet King, a mysterious man on the beach who captivates Becka. For a while he seems to be saving her from herself, but something feels off. Something feels counterfeit. He doesn't feel genuine and Becka hints that she knows that but he's the only thing keeping her alive and keeping her from the throes of bulimia and depression. What is amazing is his routine, and how simple it is and how it's the antithesis to the "Normal" of every day life: the normal 9-5, behind a cubicle, see your therapist in the afternoon, take your medication and repeat. He points that out to the reader, but is the reader to plugged in him/herself to actually see that? Most are too plugged in, and that's the genius of this book. It will only connect to certain people, I fear. People who've had breakdowns because of those kinds of genius epiphanies. Boy, will this resonate. His routine is Becka's road to recovery, but we still know something is off. But that's also real life: No one is strictly a hero or strictly a bad person. We are all good and bad. King is good and bad. Later in the book, we learn why he puts on this show and lives the way he does. The reader might grow frustrated with Becka, because you ask yourself, "How can she not see this?" The thing is, you probably have never been in the throes of mental demons OR tried to escape an addiction ( Like bulimia.) You will do ANYTHING in your power to escape it, including ignore the big, flashy warning signs and do what lots of folks think is irrational. Stair BRILLIANTLY CAPTURED that.
I highly recommend this read. It might make you uncomfortable. It might make you question your conventional therapy and conventional medication and your doctors. OR, you might refuse to do that and get pissed off. Either way, brilliant and well done. I cannot wait for her to write more.
It's not a feel good book, no, so if you are trying to escape your dismal reality, this book isn't for you. Read Harry Potter for that. This book leaves you with a kind of darkness. That's why it's so darn poetic to me. I'm writing that, because I noticed reviewers tend to only give "positive" reviews to books with happy endings that allow you to escape your lives and not confront your own truths and that don't really get to the crux of life. Stair gets to that and it hits you like a knife across the jugular: That things are ambiguous. That things DON'T actually make sense; that things are often irrational and our answers are merely guesses. That there is uncertainty and chaos and the joke is that we try to make sense of it all. That cures might actually be causes and that there is so much insanity in organized convention, but we are too connected ( like the Matrix) to see it.
This is a book about a medical student Becka, who is eccentric and questions uncertainty. She questions uncertainty in her day-to-day clinical practice as well as when she sees therapists as a patient. ( For bulimia and depression) She's struggling with a sense of meaning, a recent breakup and a roommate whose mind seems to unravel. Things get worse and you feel it and she shows you. It's raw. It's honest. Her questioning convention makes her life twenty times harder than the average med student who just seems to accept things as they are. The second part of the book blew me away. It's where we meet King, a mysterious man on the beach who captivates Becka. For a while he seems to be saving her from herself, but something feels off. Something feels counterfeit. He doesn't feel genuine and Becka hints that she knows that but he's the only thing keeping her alive and keeping her from the throes of bulimia and depression. What is amazing is his routine, and how simple it is and how it's the antithesis to the "Normal" of every day life: the normal 9-5, behind a cubicle, see your therapist in the afternoon, take your medication and repeat. He points that out to the reader, but is the reader to plugged in him/herself to actually see that? Most are too plugged in, and that's the genius of this book. It will only connect to certain people, I fear. People who've had breakdowns because of those kinds of genius epiphanies. Boy, will this resonate. His routine is Becka's road to recovery, but we still know something is off. But that's also real life: No one is strictly a hero or strictly a bad person. We are all good and bad. King is good and bad. Later in the book, we learn why he puts on this show and lives the way he does. The reader might grow frustrated with Becka, because you ask yourself, "How can she not see this?" The thing is, you probably have never been in the throes of mental demons OR tried to escape an addiction ( Like bulimia.) You will do ANYTHING in your power to escape it, including ignore the big, flashy warning signs and do what lots of folks think is irrational. Stair BRILLIANTLY CAPTURED that.
I highly recommend this read. It might make you uncomfortable. It might make you question your conventional therapy and conventional medication and your doctors. OR, you might refuse to do that and get pissed off. Either way, brilliant and well done. I cannot wait for her to write more.
February 16, 2019
Where has this writer been all my life?!?! Totally Brilliant.
First, Stair writes extremely well and keeps story moving.
Secondly, THANK YOU for writing with such honesty. I'm so sick of the privileged white girl memoirs or ones that are so wrapped up in convention, they make you want to vomit. ( And I was a little nervous, seeing she is a white woman with several advanced degrees.
As an ex-therapist , you brilliantly showed that the mental health system is a bunch of hogwash and you brilliantly show how diagnosing mental illnesses is purely based on nonsensical patterns, profit and snapshot observations. You show the fine line between "insanity" and "sanity" and how fast a person can seemingly change with NO pattern and no basis and no idea what will really work and what won't. And you show how anyone can fall into the craziest situation ( even someone like Becka who seemingly has it all) and bounce back. And, newsflash: Therapists don't know what's really wrong or what really works either and most of us are victims of a painful short-sighted system. As soon as I was done reading it ( and I read it in one sitting), I said to myself, she is going to have a lot of negative reviews. Because you speak the truth, and the truth is tough to swallow, let alone read. I cant recommend this book to everyone, but Those of us that can handle the truth, say Well done! Looking out for more!
First, Stair writes extremely well and keeps story moving.
Secondly, THANK YOU for writing with such honesty. I'm so sick of the privileged white girl memoirs or ones that are so wrapped up in convention, they make you want to vomit. ( And I was a little nervous, seeing she is a white woman with several advanced degrees.
As an ex-therapist , you brilliantly showed that the mental health system is a bunch of hogwash and you brilliantly show how diagnosing mental illnesses is purely based on nonsensical patterns, profit and snapshot observations. You show the fine line between "insanity" and "sanity" and how fast a person can seemingly change with NO pattern and no basis and no idea what will really work and what won't. And you show how anyone can fall into the craziest situation ( even someone like Becka who seemingly has it all) and bounce back. And, newsflash: Therapists don't know what's really wrong or what really works either and most of us are victims of a painful short-sighted system. As soon as I was done reading it ( and I read it in one sitting), I said to myself, she is going to have a lot of negative reviews. Because you speak the truth, and the truth is tough to swallow, let alone read. I cant recommend this book to everyone, but Those of us that can handle the truth, say Well done! Looking out for more!
January 6, 2019
My wife was up all night reading this book, so I decided to give it a go. She said it makes you uncomfortable but you can't put it down. Oh, BOY! Was she right!
This book makes you uneasy. First, it's very well crafted and Stair skips out on all the unnecessary baggage you don't need. She leaves A LOT to your imagination. She leaves you wondering, but it's absolutely perfect for the story she wants to tell.
As someone who has worked in the mental health field, I've been longing for a book that spotlights the ambiguity ( Stair's word) in diagnosing, recovering and how truly uncertain us professionals and patients are about diagnoses. What we label as a disorder may very well be a passing phase or something else entirely. Why people recover or bounce back IS, in most cases, a mystery. Medicine OFTEN makes people worse or dependent. Some people DO stay "mad" forever. She perfectly captures that feeling- and I've been waiting for it. I'm so sick of the "feel good" endings, because they are dishonest.
Who wouldn't I recommend this book to? Anyone seeking out labels and hard truths. Stair will not give you that. She will lead you down a path to simmer in the uncertainty & some won't handle that well. Therapists and shrinks may not like it, especially those who went into the profession to figure themselves out.
BRAVO!
This book makes you uneasy. First, it's very well crafted and Stair skips out on all the unnecessary baggage you don't need. She leaves A LOT to your imagination. She leaves you wondering, but it's absolutely perfect for the story she wants to tell.
As someone who has worked in the mental health field, I've been longing for a book that spotlights the ambiguity ( Stair's word) in diagnosing, recovering and how truly uncertain us professionals and patients are about diagnoses. What we label as a disorder may very well be a passing phase or something else entirely. Why people recover or bounce back IS, in most cases, a mystery. Medicine OFTEN makes people worse or dependent. Some people DO stay "mad" forever. She perfectly captures that feeling- and I've been waiting for it. I'm so sick of the "feel good" endings, because they are dishonest.
Who wouldn't I recommend this book to? Anyone seeking out labels and hard truths. Stair will not give you that. She will lead you down a path to simmer in the uncertainty & some won't handle that well. Therapists and shrinks may not like it, especially those who went into the profession to figure themselves out.
BRAVO!
March 31, 2022
Dr. Erin Stair takes you on a journey down her path to the breaking point between sanity, reality, the stress of medical school, and the knowledge that all around us there are people suffering from various addictions, PTSD, mental illness and behavioral disorders. I couldn't put the book down, and the more intense the story got, the more it drew me in. Dr. Stair's style of writing is drama laced with humor, wit, sarcasm, and the ability to draw in the reader, and have them experience what it's like to be on the edge of a precipice and slowly be reeled back on to solid ground. I loved this book and would recommend it to anyone who has ever suffered from anxiety, depression, mental illness, or knows someone who has. Though not a lighthearted romance novel, there is romance in this story nonetheless. Though not a comedy, humor and wit are laced throughout the book. I continued to think about the book long after I put it down.
February 12, 2019
Absolutely brilliant.
You show how absolutely "insane" it is to diagnose people with certain illnesses. You show what a sham it is and, yes, you show that WE and doctors don't really know much about causes and cures, do we?
You will shake up the entire mental health industry and all those zombies walking around on psych pills, not realizing that they are being duped by a billion-dollar industry. And the beauty of this novel is that you "SHOW" this rather than write about it in a boring way.
Dr. Stair, you'll piss a lot of people off, especially folks addicted to the status quo, but this is incredible.
You show how absolutely "insane" it is to diagnose people with certain illnesses. You show what a sham it is and, yes, you show that WE and doctors don't really know much about causes and cures, do we?
You will shake up the entire mental health industry and all those zombies walking around on psych pills, not realizing that they are being duped by a billion-dollar industry. And the beauty of this novel is that you "SHOW" this rather than write about it in a boring way.
Dr. Stair, you'll piss a lot of people off, especially folks addicted to the status quo, but this is incredible.
December 27, 2018
Erin Stair is a remarkable woman and author. This was a text book page tuner novel as I think I read 90% of it in one go. It is a fascinating, open book, no holds barred look into the life of a talented young woman, how life throws you curves and you can strike out or hit back. Erin hits back, hard. She comes through tough times on top and shows she has the right stuff. Fantastic read, opens your eyes to things you personally may never have felt or noticed. Well worth your time. A spelling binding and a little scary dive into the deep end of mental health. Read it.
July 1, 2019
Funny, how sometimes you literally stumble on great books by accident. This is a great non-fiction by a medical doctor that talks about a case of temporary insanity caused in my opinion by the stress of the med school and lack of sleep. 2 weeks of living with a homeless man, like a homeless woman and a sudden re-wakening. I needed it today. Do read - its awesome. The style of writing is light and entertaining but deep thoughts permeate enough to make one question her own life.
August 26, 2024
The book is a quick read. However, the characters are very shallow, and the storyline can be somewhat unclear at times and some aspects of it don't make sense. The writing is not very good (although comparable to a lot of what's out there). I was pretty disappointed. What a miss.
November 11, 2018
Absolutely loved it.
Couldn't put it down.
Best page-turner I've read all year!!!
Can't wait to read her next one.
Couldn't put it down.
Best page-turner I've read all year!!!
Can't wait to read her next one.
November 30, 2018
That was crazy.
I definitely felt it.
I definitely felt it.
February 12, 2019
Love. Random note, Are you single????
April 8, 2020
Not my typical read, but I couldn't put the book down.
Def not a book if you want to "escape reality." But well written.
Def not a book if you want to "escape reality." But well written.
April 13, 2020
Very well-written and thoughtful, Dr. Stair
July 6, 2022
Definitely disturbing. But raw & real and could not put it down. Will think of this one.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews