Signed, B

by H. Bentham

I can't always say the words
Not when I've thought about it for so long,
Not even when it's supposedly easy,
Not even when it matters.
So I've written them down
And I'm sending this to you.

Signed,
B

Genres: Poetry

55 pages, ebook

Published February 1, 2018

About the author

H. Bentham lives in the Philippines, somewhere North, but don’t ever ask him for any directions. He writes stories where the gays will always get their HEA, collects books that he promises to read (eventually), and brings tarot cards everywhere because he has absolutely no sense of the future.

Despite now living with two energetic cats, he prefers the unhurried and easy-going life of turtles. That’s probably why his reading and writing pace is perpetually set to low speed.

He is @bentchbites everywhere on the internet.

Reviews

[Binibining `E (of The Ugly Writers) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A copy was given to me by the author itself. So, thanks Mr. Bentham!

I have finished this poetry book in one sitting and I totally totally enjoyed it. The poems speaks to me and I can totally relate in most of them. They each has a story to tell, each line bursts full of emotion and feels. His poem even short or long has a story most of us can relate, most of us can relate to the pain, the love, even the happiness. Reading them sends me to a whirlwind of emotions, it can make me smile, cry and appreciate love at the same time.

The way it is written, you'd know that they really comes from the author's heart. You can feel the sincerity, the emotions, the way he wants to express what he truly feels, what he wanted others to feel too. This collection is his heart and soul. And I think that he is one of the new kids on the block were going to look out for. So better watch out!

Among all the poems in this book, there are some that really calls me and make me feel things. So, here is my top 5 and some lines from it:

CERTAIN PEOPLE LEAVE A MARK - (This is my favorite among all of them! This is so me. )

"I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'm afraid. There's a whole lot of other stuff out there that I know would explode if I make a single move. God knows how much I love you but I just can't pretend not to hear God telling me this is wrong. If this is really love, then maybe people are over acting about love being the greatest magic there is. If not, then I guess you've become my limerent object. I had just realized this: limerence really does make people stupid."

010415

“I thought you said you wanted to be different. So why are you struggling to fit in? To dress the same, to weigh the same, To be the same as them?”

Stand for one night

"But the end is always there, waiting. Release; swim to the surface; gasp a lungful of air. Lie for an hour; ignore the warmth dropping; Count down the mere minutes you are spared.

Then go back to the world as if nothing happened Become another stranger, a face with no name. Unless one finds out a flicker or spark Stemming from your left shoulder, now smeared with a mark."

= “You are my equivalent.”

"It means there’s neither giver, nor receiver No beneath, no over No ‘love you more’, no ‘love you most’ both are driving; both are lost
Equivalent,
It means that you’re just as powerful as I am weak And the lowest I could possibly fall is your peak."

VOICE AND VISION

"But your voice is stronger. Leading me. Calling unto me. Never leaving me blind; Never leaving me behind."


I hope to read more from the author, this is my first time reading his work and I am glad to have read this collection of poems. It is such a delight to read works from Filipino authors. Congratulations, B! More soon.

[kb · Rating 4 out of 5]

WELL, EXCUSE YOU, WRITER, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING???



What a gorgeous collection of poems. I felt like I just relived my ten thousand pains, ten thousand dreams and ten thousand hopes. Most works reflect what's it like to live and love in your twenties (and we already know, mmm-hhmmmmm), and the regret, confusion, longing, everythiiiing were all *sound of arrows pinging straight to the heart*. By far my favorite among his works. (Although, I have to say his story in Start Here is *cue ooooh-ing sounds from the song 'Havana'* hahaha somebody bring over drums of water pls I'm thirsty from all the heat) The emotions in every poem, wow, so genuine and so raw, as if bringing me right into the scene, and right into his head. But then again, I'm still me, and it's just that I found myself in his words.

Lovely, lovely things below!


I’ve seen them countless times;
I’ve played the scenes over and over.
Some days the fade out is simple;
Other days I get trapped, mid-sentence.
-from 'The Struggle of Stories'

Lie for an hour;
ignore the warmth dropping;
Count down the mere minutes you are spared.
Then go back to the world as if nothing happened
Become another stranger, a face with no name.
Unless one finds out a flicker or spark
Stemming from your left shoulder, now smeared with a mark.
-from 'Stand for One Night'

I go about the years convincing myself
That I’m okay, that I’m over it.
That things have changed.
But now I’m feeling all the feelings again.
All because I’ve left this heart open.
-from 'Tomorrow'

She's always seen him around the building. He occasionally passed by her. One time she caught him staring, She smiled in her embarrassment, He turned bright red. Today, when they crossed past each other He said "Hi", and she waved back. They both continued walking, though Never looking back. But both of them were smiling. And wondered if they'd bump into each other again Later today.
-from 'Later Today'

So I’ll wait for another detour,
Another rerouting of directions
So I can get myself to where you’re standing.
-from 'Strangers on the Train

MY FAVORITE

Today

It’s just the timing
Don’t fret.
And don’t think about
All the other things
Going wrong in your life
One at a time.

One step,
One problem,
One mistake,
One at a time.

It’s okay to be sad
To feel guilty
To berate yourself
For self-sabotaging your efforts

And then let it go
Force yourself to let go

Grow,
Turn away from the dark
Face the sunlight
Face the brightness of the future

Even if you don’t see it right now
Because of the tears glossing your vision

This is only the beginning of something more
Don’t stop here.

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

"It's fun to toy with the idea
That the Lord will actually let me inside his sacred house
And let me kiss the boy I love
And not smite me, or strike me with lightning,
Like what the clergy constantly preach."

I love poetry but gay poetry really is something that touches me in the all the right places. If you want to feel warm and understood you should definitely read Bentham's poems. He does an amazing work of bringing love in the small things of the day to day life. I saw myself in so many of these and I'm thankful I could read these words.

=
"You are my equivalent."

It means there's neither giver, nor receiver
No beneath, no over
No 'love you more', no 'love you most'
both are driving; both are lost

Equivalent,

It means that you're just as powerful as I am weak
And the lowest I could possibly fall is your peak.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet collection of poems

These were cute and sweet for the most part. There were a lot of relatable feelings about being with someone and the good parts of relationship. Some of them I loved, and others kinda fell flat, but overall a good collection of poems.

[Hazel (Stay Bookish) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual rating: 3.5

All I do is play it safe. It might be time to be brave.