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The Nectar of Pain
From Najwa Zebian—celebrated Lebanese-Canadian poet, speaker, and educator—comes a highly personal and moving second collection.
In The Nectar of Pain , Zebian sheds light on the feelings and experiences that emerge from a painful heartbreak. She writes that the process of cleansing oneself of that pain—day by day, hour by hour, and second by second—is the real work of healing.
With uncommon warmth and wisdom, Zebian empowers all who have lost to let go of anger and transform their suffering into the softness, sweetness, and beauty of nectar. She holds her readers by the hand as they heal.
In The Nectar of Pain , Zebian sheds light on the feelings and experiences that emerge from a painful heartbreak. She writes that the process of cleansing oneself of that pain—day by day, hour by hour, and second by second—is the real work of healing.
With uncommon warmth and wisdom, Zebian empowers all who have lost to let go of anger and transform their suffering into the softness, sweetness, and beauty of nectar. She holds her readers by the hand as they heal.
320 pages, Paperback
First published October 27, 2016
713 people are currently reading
8784 people want to read
About the author
Najwa Zebian
15 books2,119 followersNajwa Zebian is a Lebanese-Canadian author, speaker, and educator. Her passion for language was evident from a young age, as she delved into Arabic poetry and novels.
The search for a home—what Najwa describes as a place where the soul and heart feel at peace—was central to her early years. When she arrived in Canada at the age of sixteen, she felt unstable and adrift in an unfamiliar place.
Nevertheless, she completed her education, and went on to become a teacher as well as a doctoral candidate in educational leadership. Her first students, a group of young refugees, led her back to her original passion: writing. She began to heal her sixteen-year-old self by writing to heal her students.
Since self-publishing her first collection of poetry and prose in 2016, Najwa has become an inspiration to millions of people worldwide.
Najwa has become a trailblazing voice for women everywhere and was name dropped by the New York Times and CBS News among others.
Drawing on her own experiences of displacement, discrimination, and abuse, Najwa uses her words to encourage others to build a home within themselves; to live, love, and create fearlessly.
The search for a home—what Najwa describes as a place where the soul and heart feel at peace—was central to her early years. When she arrived in Canada at the age of sixteen, she felt unstable and adrift in an unfamiliar place.
Nevertheless, she completed her education, and went on to become a teacher as well as a doctoral candidate in educational leadership. Her first students, a group of young refugees, led her back to her original passion: writing. She began to heal her sixteen-year-old self by writing to heal her students.
Since self-publishing her first collection of poetry and prose in 2016, Najwa has become an inspiration to millions of people worldwide.
Najwa has become a trailblazing voice for women everywhere and was name dropped by the New York Times and CBS News among others.
Drawing on her own experiences of displacement, discrimination, and abuse, Najwa uses her words to encourage others to build a home within themselves; to live, love, and create fearlessly.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 307 reviews
September 2, 2018
Thank you Andrews McMeel Publishing for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
After enjoying Najwa Zebian's Mind Platter, I am excited to read her first work The Nectar of Pain. This collection is about heartbreak, loss and recovery. The poems here are pretty standard and it didn't move me. I guess the repetition affected my mood because it's tiresome and I'm looking for variety. I'm kinda bummed because I like her writing.
After enjoying Najwa Zebian's Mind Platter, I am excited to read her first work The Nectar of Pain. This collection is about heartbreak, loss and recovery. The poems here are pretty standard and it didn't move me. I guess the repetition affected my mood because it's tiresome and I'm looking for variety. I'm kinda bummed because I like her writing.
March 29, 2018
It is not love if it
does not
make you feel
loved.
does not
make you feel
loved.
October 17, 2018
"These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb".
"Some spend a lifetime healing, and some spend a lifetime wanting to heal".
"Do you know what it feels like to be put on a race track and told to run and run and run with no end in sight?
...
Do you know what it feels like to be forced to jump off a cliff knowing that you have no wings to lift you?
...
Do you know what it feels like to be given the shovel to dig deeper and deeper only to find out when it's too late that it's for yourself and that there's no one waiting to lift you out of the hole?
Do you know what it feels like to fight a battle with no possible pain inflicted upon anyone but yourself?
...
Do you know what chocking on injustice feels like?
Do you know what it feels like to know that silence is your best choice when your words can no longer be held inside of you as a hostage?".
"Your love flies my soul to the moon.
It makes the sun revolve around my heart and the stars dance in my eyes.
Your tenderness throws me in the ocean.
It plants pearls in my heart and lifts me to the sky.
Your touch sends butterflies down my veins.
It makes roses grow in my heart and sews my pains into traces of smoke.
Your strength cradles my heart to sleep.
It beats my heart to life and breathes my soul to paradise".
"I don't care if the whole world looks in a direction opposite from mine.
If you look at me, the whole world is mine".
"Rainy days and rainy windows imprint moments on our hearts".
"When my soul aches to the point of crushing, the only medicine I need are the arms of my mother".
"I have scars on my bones from broken promises".
"Some scars are seared on our souls for eternity to witness".
"My heart aches in corners I did not know existed".
"They do everything to dim your light, and then they ask you why you're not shining.
Broken wings are a sign of struggle. And strength".
"The worst kind of pain is the one that you feel but cannot express".
"Some spend a lifetime healing, and some spend a lifetime wanting to heal".
"Do you know what it feels like to be put on a race track and told to run and run and run with no end in sight?
...
Do you know what it feels like to be forced to jump off a cliff knowing that you have no wings to lift you?
...
Do you know what it feels like to be given the shovel to dig deeper and deeper only to find out when it's too late that it's for yourself and that there's no one waiting to lift you out of the hole?
Do you know what it feels like to fight a battle with no possible pain inflicted upon anyone but yourself?
...
Do you know what chocking on injustice feels like?
Do you know what it feels like to know that silence is your best choice when your words can no longer be held inside of you as a hostage?".
"Your love flies my soul to the moon.
It makes the sun revolve around my heart and the stars dance in my eyes.
Your tenderness throws me in the ocean.
It plants pearls in my heart and lifts me to the sky.
Your touch sends butterflies down my veins.
It makes roses grow in my heart and sews my pains into traces of smoke.
Your strength cradles my heart to sleep.
It beats my heart to life and breathes my soul to paradise".
"I don't care if the whole world looks in a direction opposite from mine.
If you look at me, the whole world is mine".
"Rainy days and rainy windows imprint moments on our hearts".
"When my soul aches to the point of crushing, the only medicine I need are the arms of my mother".
"I have scars on my bones from broken promises".
"Some scars are seared on our souls for eternity to witness".
"My heart aches in corners I did not know existed".
"They do everything to dim your light, and then they ask you why you're not shining.
Broken wings are a sign of struggle. And strength".
"The worst kind of pain is the one that you feel but cannot express".
March 31, 2017
I'll be reaching for this again when the waves of pain become too much for me to bear. I found myself within these pages. Truly comforting.
March 6, 2017
While I enjoyed the message behind the various pieces, I was left wishing for more variety with regard to the vocabulary and range of imagery. Great read for anyone who has suffered heartbreak or loss.
February 6, 2018
The Nectar of Pain caught my interest originally. I gave it an honest chance -- I wanted to like it; it's a collection of poems around a central theme of heartbreak, a theme that most of us are familiar with and relate to. Reading the start, I liked the lines "Some spend a lifetime healing, and some spend a lifetime wanting to heal" (enjambment removed to ease reading). I didn't quite enjoy the whole poem, but poetry is a fickle mistress and it is unlikely for every line to be a hit.
Unfortunately, the following poems disappointed me. Another review stated that modern poetry might not be for her, and I have similiar sentimenta. Najwa's work is very in line with poets like Rupi Kaur (and take that as you might, for some this will sound like a recommendation). It's straight-forward, clear free verse, lacking any of the more difficult style figures or rhyme schemes.
One of my main issues is how most of the poems featured in this collection follow the same pattern. It's unavoidable when working around one specific theme to have every poem stand out, but the cohesiveness of this work doesn't work. Throughout reading, I often felt like I had already read certain sentences or phrases before. I can envision the work as a whole, but I cannot tell you about any of the poems in particular.
The author has the tendency to end poems with a little conclusion; the lyrical I looking back on the moment in the poem and saying something like "At that time / I did not know that / your unwillingness to comfort me / was a sign that I needed to / walk away." The repetition of these segments make them lose their meaning. A few of them had an impact on me, most did not. Oftentimes I could not see any poetical quality in them.
There are certainly poems that are better than others. Najwa undoubtedly has her moments. The little conclusion I talked about in the above paragraph was executed in a very interesting way in one of her poems starting with The day you confessed your love . The poem is cut short and she concludes it saying she cannot finish it up until this day. I thought that was a unique vision on the central theme.
Aside from that, she has a good grasp on writing about the things that resonate within us. I feel like that may be her main drawing point; it's not the quality of the poems themselves as much as the subjects. I feel like if the work was more polished, if the superfluous poems were cut out and more attention was paid to style (there are quite a few sentences that fall flat, and a lot of cliches that remain cliched) as well as the message, this collection would have been better off.
To conclude, I would say that if you are a fan of easily digestable poetry, this would be a nice addition. If you would like something more complex, something to bite into, something that leaves a more lasting impression, look on. This is not that work.
Unfortunately, the following poems disappointed me. Another review stated that modern poetry might not be for her, and I have similiar sentimenta. Najwa's work is very in line with poets like Rupi Kaur (and take that as you might, for some this will sound like a recommendation). It's straight-forward, clear free verse, lacking any of the more difficult style figures or rhyme schemes.
One of my main issues is how most of the poems featured in this collection follow the same pattern. It's unavoidable when working around one specific theme to have every poem stand out, but the cohesiveness of this work doesn't work. Throughout reading, I often felt like I had already read certain sentences or phrases before. I can envision the work as a whole, but I cannot tell you about any of the poems in particular.
The author has the tendency to end poems with a little conclusion; the lyrical I looking back on the moment in the poem and saying something like "At that time / I did not know that / your unwillingness to comfort me / was a sign that I needed to / walk away." The repetition of these segments make them lose their meaning. A few of them had an impact on me, most did not. Oftentimes I could not see any poetical quality in them.
There are certainly poems that are better than others. Najwa undoubtedly has her moments. The little conclusion I talked about in the above paragraph was executed in a very interesting way in one of her poems starting with The day you confessed your love . The poem is cut short and she concludes it saying she cannot finish it up until this day. I thought that was a unique vision on the central theme.
Aside from that, she has a good grasp on writing about the things that resonate within us. I feel like that may be her main drawing point; it's not the quality of the poems themselves as much as the subjects. I feel like if the work was more polished, if the superfluous poems were cut out and more attention was paid to style (there are quite a few sentences that fall flat, and a lot of cliches that remain cliched) as well as the message, this collection would have been better off.
To conclude, I would say that if you are a fan of easily digestable poetry, this would be a nice addition. If you would like something more complex, something to bite into, something that leaves a more lasting impression, look on. This is not that work.
December 13, 2018
I found this book difficult to read for a few reasons. While the poetry was well-written, I found it brought up a lot of painful memories from my past. Additionally, the themes were repetitive.
January 7, 2018
the only way to read this book is to use your heart and feelings instead of your eyes ,
.....
.....
January 29, 2021
Zero star!!!
Blah blah blah, I'm heart-broken,
Blah blah blah, he was bad,
Blah blah blah, break-up is sad.
Oh, seems like I can write poetry too!
Blah blah blah, I'm heart-broken,
Blah blah blah, he was bad,
Blah blah blah, break-up is sad.
Oh, seems like I can write poetry too!
March 2, 2018
For me this isn’t poetry; more little memos, reminders and messages I would leave for myself to read them whenever I feel down or alone.
I never actually studied English poetry, so that might be the problem, but the Hungarian poetry I know is on a completely different level than this was. I’ve only recently started reading contemporary English poems but so far nothing really caught my interest. Quite possible that the problem lies within me, I suppose.
For me poetry is not about the actual written words, but the words and pictures and feelings that are hiding behind them, ready for me to find them. Poetry shouldn’t be this easy to read and understand; otherwise it’s nothing more than part of a short story where the author – and no poet – hit enter sometimes instead of space (or started a different line, I’m already thinking as the new generation would).
Still, I won’t give up my search to find English poetry that reaches my standards. Wish me luck.
I never actually studied English poetry, so that might be the problem, but the Hungarian poetry I know is on a completely different level than this was. I’ve only recently started reading contemporary English poems but so far nothing really caught my interest. Quite possible that the problem lies within me, I suppose.
For me poetry is not about the actual written words, but the words and pictures and feelings that are hiding behind them, ready for me to find them. Poetry shouldn’t be this easy to read and understand; otherwise it’s nothing more than part of a short story where the author – and no poet – hit enter sometimes instead of space (or started a different line, I’m already thinking as the new generation would).
Still, I won’t give up my search to find English poetry that reaches my standards. Wish me luck.
September 23, 2017
I've searched this book at mph and it's cost 111myr. Fuhh. Seriously too expensive to me lol. Well ive read it some of the pages from najwa's facebook page and instagram before. Yassss i love it! Totally love it. But whyyyyyy seriouslyyyyy lemme read with no stress thinking the cost of the book. Argh.
•
Anyway I really love one of the quotes by her which is "these mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb."
•
Anyway I really love one of the quotes by her which is "these mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb."
April 11, 2021
“I broke my soul trying to mend yours.”
― Najwa Zebian, The Nectar of Pain
When you have 300 pages of nothing but poetry, repetition is very likely to take its course. And that is where this particular book failed me. A single idea stretched across 300 pages seems a little bit boring and to be honest a bit unfair.
― Najwa Zebian, The Nectar of Pain
When you have 300 pages of nothing but poetry, repetition is very likely to take its course. And that is where this particular book failed me. A single idea stretched across 300 pages seems a little bit boring and to be honest a bit unfair.
March 20, 2019
Finished #nectarofpain najwa's style of writing remind me so much of rupi Kaur. And which is a good thing bcz it was rupi's books that evoked my love for poetry. Both are amazing and I cannot wait to get my hands on their new projects 🌼
March 10, 2017
This book is a healer, reading it for the third time
June 7, 2018
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
June 23, 2018
"Some spend a lifetime
healing,
and some spend a lifetime
wanting to heal."
right now, i am just so broken. even if i'm really not. makes sense?
healing,
and some spend a lifetime
wanting to heal."
right now, i am just so broken. even if i'm really not. makes sense?
May 16, 2020
Food for the heartbroken soul, this book provides some simple truths that we must learn after heart break whether it is us leaving someone behind before we are ready or them abruptly leaving our life without closure. These poems focus on that lack of closure, instead insisting that you only need yourself in order to move on. Simple though it may seem, anyone who has been there knows that you can never be reminded too much. Instead of listing off advice, the poetry encapsulates the ardent, raw emotion surrounding unresolved heartbreak in order to understand yours.
If you liked Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory by Raphael Bob-Waksberg, The Princess Saves Herself in This One by Amanda Lovelace or The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur, you will also love this collection of poetry and two short prose pieces.
The unfortunate part of this work is it's repetitive ideas. Each poem on it's own is quite good, but multiple poems will even share the same exact lines over, use the same handful of stereotypical, high school poetry 101 metaphors (oceans, sun, moon, bird, etc.) that lack depth. There is some beautiful language and quotes you will want to return to again and again such as the intro which is why I even picked it up to read it:
"Those mountains that you are carrying, you were only meant to climb."
She then weaves that same idea and imagery throughout other poems. However, other instances where I believe she attempted the same thing with different images fell flat as they were not as unique, profound, or personally touching as this stunning opening quote.
That said, this is entirely relatable. Bob-Waksberg's "serial monogamist" types would shed a tear at some of the memories dragged up with these poems. Not every one will speak to everyone, but every one will speak to someone, and you will understand the emotion behind a lot of the poetry in here.
If you liked Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory by Raphael Bob-Waksberg, The Princess Saves Herself in This One by Amanda Lovelace or The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur, you will also love this collection of poetry and two short prose pieces.
The unfortunate part of this work is it's repetitive ideas. Each poem on it's own is quite good, but multiple poems will even share the same exact lines over, use the same handful of stereotypical, high school poetry 101 metaphors (oceans, sun, moon, bird, etc.) that lack depth. There is some beautiful language and quotes you will want to return to again and again such as the intro which is why I even picked it up to read it:
"Those mountains that you are carrying, you were only meant to climb."
She then weaves that same idea and imagery throughout other poems. However, other instances where I believe she attempted the same thing with different images fell flat as they were not as unique, profound, or personally touching as this stunning opening quote.
That said, this is entirely relatable. Bob-Waksberg's "serial monogamist" types would shed a tear at some of the memories dragged up with these poems. Not every one will speak to everyone, but every one will speak to someone, and you will understand the emotion behind a lot of the poetry in here.
January 31, 2018
3.5 stars
This really resonated with me. There were poems that truly looked deep into my soul, and I began to wonder: "Does this person actually know me? They describe some of my pain much too accurately for it to just be a coincidence!"
But, obviously, that is not the case. I learned a valuable lesson while reading this - pain really is universal. This collection is often written with a very simplistic choice of words, and a lot of the ideas were repetitive. Especially the metaphor about being a bird in a cage (but I get the meaning behind it) I even found quite a few poems that were downright cliché. But the ones I did love, really spoke to me and reading them made me feel like being wrapped up in a blanket and being promised that everything will eventually be okay. But it also felt like an honest conversation about all the things I didn't want to talk about and was trying to hide from myself. This made me face all of my insecurities and unhealthy thoughts, and it helped me to let them go, or at least try. And I truly appreciate that.
This really resonated with me. There were poems that truly looked deep into my soul, and I began to wonder: "Does this person actually know me? They describe some of my pain much too accurately for it to just be a coincidence!"
But, obviously, that is not the case. I learned a valuable lesson while reading this - pain really is universal. This collection is often written with a very simplistic choice of words, and a lot of the ideas were repetitive. Especially the metaphor about being a bird in a cage (but I get the meaning behind it) I even found quite a few poems that were downright cliché. But the ones I did love, really spoke to me and reading them made me feel like being wrapped up in a blanket and being promised that everything will eventually be okay. But it also felt like an honest conversation about all the things I didn't want to talk about and was trying to hide from myself. This made me face all of my insecurities and unhealthy thoughts, and it helped me to let them go, or at least try. And I truly appreciate that.
February 11, 2018
I like poetry. It feels so personal and emotional!
Definitely will be rereading it in hard times!
Definitely will be rereading it in hard times!
March 4, 2017
Beyond beautiful...I would love to read again and again. Thank you sister, Najwa.
March 12, 2017
Escribe padrisimo!
December 18, 2017
Thank you for expressing my feelings in the exact words. As I read it, I found myself in couples of pages which makes me relieved that it's okay to feel what I feel, knowing that I'm not alone.
January 27, 2018
I believe that the writer can write better than what this book contains. There is repetition of ideas in the book and it’s not that deep for the reader. Also, you don’t enjoy the journey of reading.
March 31, 2018
I liked it but maybe my current mood doesn't really appreciate the theme of this poetry so I can't say that I could relate to most of the poems. But still, good poems.
April 12, 2018
thank you for writing this.
August 30, 2021
This is one of the best poems I've ever read. The writer's feelings were literally poured into it. So many lessons to be learned. I enjoyed it
April 9, 2020
If you’re going through a break up, this one is perfect for you
January 19, 2023
3.5 I really adored this book! personally i felt like some of the writing was repetitive but maybe that was the point and even if it wasn’t it was apart of the author’s healing journey and if it helped others then there’s no harm. i didn’t feel as connected to the theme as i thought i would but it was still beautiful to read and a lot of quotes stuck with me. i loved the emotions the author was emitting and overall felt very kind. i was inspired to treat myself and others more kindly afterwards. forgiveness and kindness were mainly talked about in this book and i appreciate the emotional maturity and strength the author had to give to herself and her audience.
August 24, 2019
Maybe if I read this post-breakup I would give it more stars.
May 13, 2019
3.50
To give birth to such words, I am sure that Najwa went through a lot, suffered a lot and of course learned many other things. I won't deny it; I did find myself there, somewhere between the pages. I loved the journey, especially the ending!
HOWEVER!!
I have two main things that I need to mention .. First one is that there is a lot of repetition concerning the poems. I find myself reading the same thing twice or more with a slight difference but the idea is still the same. The second one is that I was really expecting the feeling of happiness during this journey but I didn't get the chance to feel that. I didn't want for the whole thing to be gloomy even if it is the real thing .
“Here's the thing about people with good hearts:
They give you excuses when you don't explain yourself.
They accept the apologies you don't give.
They see the best in you.
They always lift you up, even if that means putting their own priorities aside.
They will never be too "busy" for you.
They make time, even when you don't.
And you wonder why they're the most sensitive people, the most caring people, why they are willing to give so much of themselves with no expectation in return.
You wonder why their existence is not so essential to your well-being. It's because they don't make you work hard for the attention they give you. They accept the love they think they deserve and you accepted the love you think you're entitled to.
Don't take them for granted.
Fear the day when a good heart gives up on you.
Our skies don't become grey out of nowhere, our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason.
A heart does not turn cold unless it's been treated with coldness for a while”
To give birth to such words, I am sure that Najwa went through a lot, suffered a lot and of course learned many other things. I won't deny it; I did find myself there, somewhere between the pages. I loved the journey, especially the ending!
HOWEVER!!
I have two main things that I need to mention .. First one is that there is a lot of repetition concerning the poems. I find myself reading the same thing twice or more with a slight difference but the idea is still the same. The second one is that I was really expecting the feeling of happiness during this journey but I didn't get the chance to feel that. I didn't want for the whole thing to be gloomy even if it is the real thing .
“Here's the thing about people with good hearts:
They give you excuses when you don't explain yourself.
They accept the apologies you don't give.
They see the best in you.
They always lift you up, even if that means putting their own priorities aside.
They will never be too "busy" for you.
They make time, even when you don't.
And you wonder why they're the most sensitive people, the most caring people, why they are willing to give so much of themselves with no expectation in return.
You wonder why their existence is not so essential to your well-being. It's because they don't make you work hard for the attention they give you. They accept the love they think they deserve and you accepted the love you think you're entitled to.
Don't take them for granted.
Fear the day when a good heart gives up on you.
Our skies don't become grey out of nowhere, our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason.
A heart does not turn cold unless it's been treated with coldness for a while”
Displaying 1 - 30 of 307 reviews