Charm: The Elusive Enchantment

by Joseph Epstein

Joseph Epstein takes on that most enchanting (and, alas, increasingly rare) of human gifts, charm. “Almost everyone will recognize when he or she is in the presence of charm,” he writes. “Charm is magic of a kind; it casts a spell. In the presence of charm the world seems lighter and lovelier. A charming person can cause you to forget your problems, at least temporarily, to hold the world’s dreariness at bay. Charm is a reminder that the world is filled with jolly prospects and delightful possibilities. Watching Fred Astaire dance, or listening to Blossom Dearie sing, or reading the poems of C.P. Cavafy, or merely looking at Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner, one recalls that the world can be a pretty damn fine place.”

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays

200 pages, Hardcover

Published October 1, 2018

About the author

Joseph Epstein is the author of, among other books, Snobbery, Friendship, and Fabulous Small Jews. He has been editor of American Scholar and has written for the New Yorker, the Atlantic, Commentary, Town and Country, and other magazines.

Reviews

[Jess · Rating 1 out of 5]

How is it possible to make a book so bad? Embarrassingly pompous writing, wild disregard for context/identity, essentially another boomer white guy railing against the lack of today’s “””charm””” in public/celebrity life/“good ole day”-ing. Talks about how Obama May not be seen as charming for white people but rattles off “chanting” white people with zero identity caveats, then a whole chapter on whether or not he is charming?? Stopped reading 2/3rds through when he used the phrase “angry blacks” talking about the divisive charm of duke ellington.

[Annabelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

How fitting that I should finish reading the latest, most agreeable book by one of my favorite writers on Christmas Day. His multiple smiles-inducing book on Charm: The Elusive Enchantment. An attribute that does not elude him, the proof is in the reading. In a roomful of charmers (and I agree with him on 98% of the folks he mentions here, but insist on including him), I'll very likely gravitate to Mr Epstein! After I schmooze with Cary Grant's John Robie, naturally.

Having read so many of Mr Epstein's books, I was expecting to find more anecdotes on his mentor and friend, Edward Shils. Surprisingly, he left him out until I got to the book's last pages. And even more surprisingly, he doesn't even mention his name! But of course, I've read enough of Mr Epstein's books to know who he was alluding to...

But I wonder why that manipulative charmer extraordinaire, Julius Caesar, didn't make the cut here? And it would have been amusing to include some charmers in mythology and fiction. Odysseus, for one!

https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/65006652...

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another delicious Epstein offering.

Notes:
18... Castiglione --- should seem casual in his attainments. [hide your craft]
22... Sydney Smith would get on a roll: anecdote led to pun, then to aphorism, to non sequitur, etc
34... Bogart was touchy and spat when he spoke, but Billy Wilder said that he was brave in the face of his death by cancer.
39... What's My Line: the panel's certainty of their cleverness was appalling
51... Gerald and Sara Murphy
100... the release from good taste ... Chico Marx ... how a normal person would like to act ... Havoc was their specialty
101... Sara Silverman faux naif
119... Noel Coward admired courage and humor more than any other qualities
Re long life: "I have never been one for staying up too late."
134... Beerbohm
154... Mencken: the certainty of views held by political people is coarsening
169... shabby chic ... perma-stubble

[Sherman Langford · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the distinctive pleasures of reading is the chance to go along for the ride as an agile and lively mind riffs on some interesting topic. Joseph Epstein is one of those writers. Towards the end of this book, he tells of a lifelong friend who has “enlarged my view of the world; he never allowed me to forget that, for people on whom nothing is missed, it was a place of unending interest.” This is actually an apt description of the effect for me of reading Epstein, on most any topic he takes up.

His ruminations on charm are case in point. For the first part of the book, he tries to define charm, and he admits that a brief concise definition eludes him (as it has everyone who tries). But a few of his attempts are worth quoting.

“Charm is a reminder that the world is filled with jolly prospects and delightful possibilities.”

“If a short definition of charm is wanted, charm is that person, man or woman, whom you never want to leave the room.”

“As for charm itself, it remains the heightened pleasure that a small number of socially gifted people, of both sexes and differing social classes, bestow upon the rest of us, convincing us, while in the company of those with this gift, that the world, despite much evidence to the contrary, is still a delight-filled, gorgeous, altogether splendid place.”

He identifies several people who exuded charm. Audrey Hepburn, Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, and Oscar Wilde. And several who don’t as counter examples.

The second part he perambulates on several charm archetypes-charming rogues, vulgar charmers, women charmers, etc., with interesting examples.

And then part three he transitions into a few chapters of cultural criticism on trends in society that militate against charm, resulting there being fewer truly charming figures. These chapters are good, but there is just a tinge of old curmudgeon in some of his observations, in particular about changes in dress standards.

But all in all, and interesting and thought provoking read.

[Kevin Pitchford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting deep dive into what makes a person charming, yet the version of charm held up in this book is very centrist and milquetoast. There is no appreciation for style, suggesting clothing can’t be charming while mocking women with “Day-Glo” hair. Nothing charming about Pink or Cyndi Lauper apparently. Charm here is defined by cynical normative standards suggesting that charming the most amount of people wins one the charm trophy instead of being truly charming to a select group of people. While the author states his biases, he does tend to conclude that people were more charming in the olden days and admittedly struggled to find a modern model of charm. Are we to believe that charm has skipped a generation or has it been redefined? Therapy, introspection and emotional honesty is seen as the enemy of charm. Is shutting oneself off emotionally truly charming?

[W T McKinzie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unavoidable given the book’s premise that the current era is largely devoid of charming public figures, the author must conjure past examples from popular culture that are beyond the memory of most of the populace. I enjoyed the book, but I am only one generation younger than the author and a student of twentieth century film and history. Even I could not readily relate to all his examples. The author is a convincing advocate for encouraging more people to consider charming behaviors, but the average reader is nonetheless going to struggle to appreciate and understand this book.

[Holly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did laugh out loud at this pretentious, absurd, old, white man.

TLDR: How to Be Charming:

1) be white

2) be a man (you can be a charming woman if you’re chill and subdued and Audrey Hepburn)

3) be mostly straight (unless you just so happen to be Oscar Wilde and then pass go and collect your charm token)

4) be born no later than Bing Crosby since he appears to be the youngest person mentioned in this book that possesses any charm.

5) be kinda offensive and make rude comments about the people that don’t fit into this criteria.

Thanks for the lolz

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book could have been a long magazine article. Interesting insights at the front
and end, but filled with way too much information about various celebrities
and public figures, mostly from the 20th century (e.g., Dean Martin).
I like the fact that Mr. Epstein speaks his mind clearly and does not pull any punches.
Yes, he's an old white guy. That doesn't mean that what he has to say has no value.

[Karen Calhoun · Rating 1 out of 5]

I rarely dislike a non-fiction book. This un-charming book-length essay on the character of being charming (or not, mostly not) made the list.

[Jo-Ellen Lampere · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting.

[Laura J. Snaer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Drivel.

[Ryan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Completely lacking any semblance of its subject or, seemingly, knowledge of what it is in the first place.

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

As is usual for our friend Mr. Epstein, a charming work about the ineffable quality of charm.

[Jane Sinclair · Rating 2 out of 5]

It offers interesting slant. Mentions how charm is exuded by many different people in many ways

[Chris Beach · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not a charming book at all . Awful!

[mono]

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