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Matters of Vital Interest: A Forty-Year Friendship with Leonard Cohen
A memoir of the author's decades-long friendship and spiritual journey with the late singer, songwriter, novelist, and poet Leonard Cohen
Leonard Cohen passed away in late 2016, leaving behind many who cared for and admired him, but perhaps few knew him better than longtime friend Eric Lerner. Lerner, a screenwriter and novelist, first met Cohen at a Zen retreat forty years earlier. Their friendship helped guide each other through life's myriad obstacles, a journey told from a new perspective for the first time.
Funny, revealing, self-aware, and deeply moving, Matters of Vital Interest is an insightful memoir about Lerner's relationship with his friend, whose idiosyncratic style and dignified life was deeply informed by his spiritual practices. Lerner invites readers to step into the room with them and listen in on a lifetime's ongoing dialogue, considerations of matters of vital interest, spiritual, mundane, and profane. In telling their story, Lerner depicts Leonard Cohen as a captivating persona, the likes of which we may never see again.
Leonard Cohen passed away in late 2016, leaving behind many who cared for and admired him, but perhaps few knew him better than longtime friend Eric Lerner. Lerner, a screenwriter and novelist, first met Cohen at a Zen retreat forty years earlier. Their friendship helped guide each other through life's myriad obstacles, a journey told from a new perspective for the first time.
Funny, revealing, self-aware, and deeply moving, Matters of Vital Interest is an insightful memoir about Lerner's relationship with his friend, whose idiosyncratic style and dignified life was deeply informed by his spiritual practices. Lerner invites readers to step into the room with them and listen in on a lifetime's ongoing dialogue, considerations of matters of vital interest, spiritual, mundane, and profane. In telling their story, Lerner depicts Leonard Cohen as a captivating persona, the likes of which we may never see again.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2018
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755 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
November 10, 2020
If you seek earth shattering revelations, if you desire a new approach that reveals the man, if you wish for the key to understanding the enigma of Leonard Cohen, this isn’t the book for you.
This is a memoir that is also a love letter (with footnotes for those of us on the outside) and a farewell from a man to his best friend. The humanity of both the author and his subject are apparent on each page. (Sometimes in tremendous detail, the image of both of them in their underwear is one that’s hard to shake.)
This is the story first and foremost of the friendship of two men. Rooted in seeking and watered by the experiences a lifetime accrues. In the age of the extremes of faux-bro machismo and watch me cry veiled sexism masked as being a male feminist, this book is quite refreshing. There are no apologies nor are there any attempts to sugar coat the humanity of both Lerner and Cohen. Sometimes self-effacing, sometimes filled with self doubt, always honest this is a great read. It is particular of value for those who, rather than worshipping heroes, instead marvel at the achievements of human men doing superhuman things.
Definitely recommended.
This is a memoir that is also a love letter (with footnotes for those of us on the outside) and a farewell from a man to his best friend. The humanity of both the author and his subject are apparent on each page. (Sometimes in tremendous detail, the image of both of them in their underwear is one that’s hard to shake.)
This is the story first and foremost of the friendship of two men. Rooted in seeking and watered by the experiences a lifetime accrues. In the age of the extremes of faux-bro machismo and watch me cry veiled sexism masked as being a male feminist, this book is quite refreshing. There are no apologies nor are there any attempts to sugar coat the humanity of both Lerner and Cohen. Sometimes self-effacing, sometimes filled with self doubt, always honest this is a great read. It is particular of value for those who, rather than worshipping heroes, instead marvel at the achievements of human men doing superhuman things.
Definitely recommended.
November 26, 2023
A formidable book, seeing Leonard from another angle, was great for me. It confirmed many of the facts I knew and loved about him before, a dramatic, beautiful life.
Lerner candidly writes about their strong bond and precious friendship full of mutual admiration and respect, until the last days before he died, I felt his dead, and this book transported me as if I was the girl next door.
Page 175, Leonard says: " I've grown quite fond of instant coffee with evaporated milk"... loved it 😄
A few days before he died, Leonard recited to Lerner, a fragment of Dante's Inferno in Italian, and few days afterward, he wished Lerner a Happy day of the Dead, he passed away on November 6th.
Lerner candidly writes about their strong bond and precious friendship full of mutual admiration and respect, until the last days before he died, I felt his dead, and this book transported me as if I was the girl next door.
Page 175, Leonard says: " I've grown quite fond of instant coffee with evaporated milk"... loved it 😄
A few days before he died, Leonard recited to Lerner, a fragment of Dante's Inferno in Italian, and few days afterward, he wished Lerner a Happy day of the Dead, he passed away on November 6th.
January 18, 2019
It's hard to know what to say about this book. I love Leonard Cohen's music (who doesn't love "Hallelujah"?) and was such a fan of even his lesser known songs, but I hated reading this book and it honestly made me like Cohen a lot less.
The book is not a biography of Cohen, so don't pick it up thinking you'll learn a lot about his life. I have no idea what his childhood was like or what much of his life was like. It's a book about Eric Lerner's long friendship with Cohen, their shared experiences, and their involvement with spiritual leader Sasaki Roshi. It's also about how they both dealt with challenges in life regarding career, money, women, pain and illness.
It was apparent right off the bat that I am not at all like either of these men, and that I would never have been a part of their world. They seemed to have shared a common conceited, misogynistic writers' personality that really put me off. They clearly saw themselves as different from the masses and also from women, and it's clear that women were seen as something to f***, to marry, to create children with, to chase, but rarely to actually know and even more rarely to befriend. In one part of the book, Lerner says he and Cohen bonded over the fact that both of them fell for their wives because they got glimpses of their rear ends. One wife was up on a ladder and the guy got a peek up her skirt, and the other first saw his wife bending over a table. Really? Just Ugh.
It took me months to get through this book, and I had to make myself keep going with it. I enjoyed it more towards the end than the first half and I did cry at the end when Cohen did finally die (this isn't really a spoiler as I think we all know he's dead). He had an awful, painful death, and Lerner was in terrible pain at the same time too, so they both ended up in this horrible state for years where they bonded even through that. I do feel like I know a lot more about Cohen and I have a good sense of who he was as a man. He was clearly a smart, talented, introspective person who cared a great deal about his friends and his children. He clearly gave a great gift to the world with his songs. I will always feel as if I know him from the book, the good and the bad, but I lost any "fan girl" love for him as a man.
I read a digital ARC of this book for the purpose of review.
The book is not a biography of Cohen, so don't pick it up thinking you'll learn a lot about his life. I have no idea what his childhood was like or what much of his life was like. It's a book about Eric Lerner's long friendship with Cohen, their shared experiences, and their involvement with spiritual leader Sasaki Roshi. It's also about how they both dealt with challenges in life regarding career, money, women, pain and illness.
It was apparent right off the bat that I am not at all like either of these men, and that I would never have been a part of their world. They seemed to have shared a common conceited, misogynistic writers' personality that really put me off. They clearly saw themselves as different from the masses and also from women, and it's clear that women were seen as something to f***, to marry, to create children with, to chase, but rarely to actually know and even more rarely to befriend. In one part of the book, Lerner says he and Cohen bonded over the fact that both of them fell for their wives because they got glimpses of their rear ends. One wife was up on a ladder and the guy got a peek up her skirt, and the other first saw his wife bending over a table. Really? Just Ugh.
It took me months to get through this book, and I had to make myself keep going with it. I enjoyed it more towards the end than the first half and I did cry at the end when Cohen did finally die (this isn't really a spoiler as I think we all know he's dead). He had an awful, painful death, and Lerner was in terrible pain at the same time too, so they both ended up in this horrible state for years where they bonded even through that. I do feel like I know a lot more about Cohen and I have a good sense of who he was as a man. He was clearly a smart, talented, introspective person who cared a great deal about his friends and his children. He clearly gave a great gift to the world with his songs. I will always feel as if I know him from the book, the good and the bad, but I lost any "fan girl" love for him as a man.
I read a digital ARC of this book for the purpose of review.
September 15, 2018
https://msarki.tumblr.com/post/178105...
...Long ago we jumped onto the spiritual path because we couldn’t stand our moods. We embraced the belief that if we achieved some version of enlightenment we’d attain brand-new selves, retrofitted with a peace of mind that our factory-equipped selves-at-birth so painfully lacked…
One of the most, if not the most, uplifting and heartbreaking memoirs ever written. Any attempt at description or explanation would fail to capture the essence and love captured between the pages of this wondrous book. A forty-year friendship and search for answers that resulted in a life of bursting with meaning. Sad to know that Leonard Cohen is gone, but Eric Lerner, in his own perfect way, brings him back by adding more beautiful words to spiritual Cohen’s musical gift to all of us.
...Long ago we jumped onto the spiritual path because we couldn’t stand our moods. We embraced the belief that if we achieved some version of enlightenment we’d attain brand-new selves, retrofitted with a peace of mind that our factory-equipped selves-at-birth so painfully lacked…
One of the most, if not the most, uplifting and heartbreaking memoirs ever written. Any attempt at description or explanation would fail to capture the essence and love captured between the pages of this wondrous book. A forty-year friendship and search for answers that resulted in a life of bursting with meaning. Sad to know that Leonard Cohen is gone, but Eric Lerner, in his own perfect way, brings him back by adding more beautiful words to spiritual Cohen’s musical gift to all of us.
May 16, 2019
This is the second time I am finishing a book featuring Leonard Cohen, Sasaki Roshi, and Zen. It is the second time I am writing a review of such a book with tears in my eyes. This trifecta of topics is consistently moving. It is is a book about friends, and has furthered my suspicion that friendship is the highest form of human love. It is a book about zen, specifically Roshi's Zen- and has confirmed my suspicion that I should focus more on the Zen and less on the Zen teachers. Was fascinating to hear neither man really wanted or chose to become fathers. I see so much of myself and my friendships in this account of two tough old Jewish boys vs. the world, in their recognition of pain as truth, in their humor, in their dysfunction. It's also encouraging in the sense that I feel ahead of their game- or at least like we're standing on some tall shoulders. This book is brutally honest, like so many wonderful friendships are. It is dark and well written, like all of my favorite Leonard Cohen songs. For those who want it darker, this book will not disappoint.
March 28, 2021
If you love Leonard Cohen you’ll love this book. Five stars and ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
January 2, 2022
El 21 de octubre de 2016 se editaba el CD número catorce en la discografía del maestro Leonard Cohen, recuerdo que estuve como era algo habitual enganchado a este disco durante muchos días. Lo que no esperaba era que sería oficialmente su último álbum. “You want it darker” fue un trabajo grabado casi completamente en la sala de la casa de Leonard ya que físicamente no se encontraba bien, su dolor se siente en cada palabra. Cohen sabía que estaba por despedirse, lo había dicho en repetidas entrevistas, líricamente ya nos lo cantaba, al igual que David Bowie crearon un disco para colocar una lápida a décadas de trabajo musical, ambos escondieron en la oscuridad sus despedidas. Líricamente el CD “You want it darker” fue el más religioso y privado del maestro canadiense. La canción que da nombre a este último CD “Lo quieres más oscuro” nos dice:
“Si eres el repartidor, estoy fuera del juego.
Si eres el sanador, significa que estoy roto y cojo.
Si tú eres la gloria, entonces la mía debe ser la vergüenza.
Lo quieres más oscuro,
matamos la llama”
Luego la voz oscura se acompaña con un coro diciendo la interjección hebrea del Torá “Hineni. Hineni” הִנֵּה, palabra de fuerte significado dentro de esta religión, es el sí de Abraham ante el sacrificio solicitado por Dios. Cohen hace aquí un poderoso llamado al altísimo porque sabe que su camino ha terminado: “Hineni, hineni… Estoy listo, mi Señor”. Exactamente 17 días después el poeta y maestro se nos adelantaba en el camino.
Leonard Cohen fue muy conocido no sólo por su talento como poeta, músico, religioso, espiritual y caballero, también lo fue por cosechar unas profundas amistades, sus amigos eran pocos, pero verdaderos. Cohen fue un hombre sabio, culto, un ser humano que siempre tuvo un gesto amable con todos los que se le acercaban y una muestra de ello la da el guionista, productor Eric Lerner en su libro “Asuntos de vital interés” editado por ALIANZA EDITORIAL. Cuarenta años de verdadera amistad lo unieron con Leonard Cohen, una amistad que se afianzaba con el tiempo no importa cuánto fuese.
Vivieron juntos, compartieron risas, tristezas, divorcios, miedos, fracasos durante cuatro décadas que como bien da a entender Lerner pasaron sin darse cuenta. Kyozan Joshu Sasaki Roshi el importante monje zen japones quien fue el guía de Cohen y Lerner a pesar de ese polémico final que el maestro tuvo marcando su reputación y en el que ambos prefieren guardar silencio, es quien guía este viaje sobre la amistad entre dos hombres.
En 1977 justamente en un retiro espiritual se conocieron el “viejo Leonard” y el “viejo Eric”, desde aquí leemos una historia en la que conoceremos a dos hombres unidos por las calamidades de la vida y las alegrías, pero son los momentos tristes en los que ellos se unen mucho más. Fracasos discográficos, matrimonios fallidos, enfermedades y una que otra borrachera son contadas sin velo alguno por Lerner y nos muestra de manera muy transparente quien era el canadiense con la voz de un abismo oscuro.
Es justamente el último capítulo que da nombre al libro el que entristece más a quienes amamos a Leonard Cohen, allí el autor nos cuenta los últimos días que vivió con el maestro y es vía email como logra despedirse de él, no sin antes Leonard Cohen citarle el “Infierno” de Dante pocos momentos antes de la caída que marcaría el adiós pocos días después del poeta.
«Hemos vivido unas cuantas pequeñas excursiones en nuestros tiempos. Viejo amigo. Como tantas veces dijiste: ¡Vaya viaje!». Son las últimas palabras que logró escribirle por medio de un mail a quien fue su amigo fiel por casi toda una vida. Nunca recibió una respuesta.
“Asuntos de vital interés” es un libro hermoso que todo fanático de Leonard Cohen debe leer.
“Si eres el repartidor, estoy fuera del juego.
Si eres el sanador, significa que estoy roto y cojo.
Si tú eres la gloria, entonces la mía debe ser la vergüenza.
Lo quieres más oscuro,
matamos la llama”
Luego la voz oscura se acompaña con un coro diciendo la interjección hebrea del Torá “Hineni. Hineni” הִנֵּה, palabra de fuerte significado dentro de esta religión, es el sí de Abraham ante el sacrificio solicitado por Dios. Cohen hace aquí un poderoso llamado al altísimo porque sabe que su camino ha terminado: “Hineni, hineni… Estoy listo, mi Señor”. Exactamente 17 días después el poeta y maestro se nos adelantaba en el camino.
Leonard Cohen fue muy conocido no sólo por su talento como poeta, músico, religioso, espiritual y caballero, también lo fue por cosechar unas profundas amistades, sus amigos eran pocos, pero verdaderos. Cohen fue un hombre sabio, culto, un ser humano que siempre tuvo un gesto amable con todos los que se le acercaban y una muestra de ello la da el guionista, productor Eric Lerner en su libro “Asuntos de vital interés” editado por ALIANZA EDITORIAL. Cuarenta años de verdadera amistad lo unieron con Leonard Cohen, una amistad que se afianzaba con el tiempo no importa cuánto fuese.
Vivieron juntos, compartieron risas, tristezas, divorcios, miedos, fracasos durante cuatro décadas que como bien da a entender Lerner pasaron sin darse cuenta. Kyozan Joshu Sasaki Roshi el importante monje zen japones quien fue el guía de Cohen y Lerner a pesar de ese polémico final que el maestro tuvo marcando su reputación y en el que ambos prefieren guardar silencio, es quien guía este viaje sobre la amistad entre dos hombres.
En 1977 justamente en un retiro espiritual se conocieron el “viejo Leonard” y el “viejo Eric”, desde aquí leemos una historia en la que conoceremos a dos hombres unidos por las calamidades de la vida y las alegrías, pero son los momentos tristes en los que ellos se unen mucho más. Fracasos discográficos, matrimonios fallidos, enfermedades y una que otra borrachera son contadas sin velo alguno por Lerner y nos muestra de manera muy transparente quien era el canadiense con la voz de un abismo oscuro.
Es justamente el último capítulo que da nombre al libro el que entristece más a quienes amamos a Leonard Cohen, allí el autor nos cuenta los últimos días que vivió con el maestro y es vía email como logra despedirse de él, no sin antes Leonard Cohen citarle el “Infierno” de Dante pocos momentos antes de la caída que marcaría el adiós pocos días después del poeta.
«Hemos vivido unas cuantas pequeñas excursiones en nuestros tiempos. Viejo amigo. Como tantas veces dijiste: ¡Vaya viaje!». Son las últimas palabras que logró escribirle por medio de un mail a quien fue su amigo fiel por casi toda una vida. Nunca recibió una respuesta.
“Asuntos de vital interés” es un libro hermoso que todo fanático de Leonard Cohen debe leer.
November 29, 2019
Un libro para seguidores acérrimos de Leonard Cohen, entre los que me cuento. Su figura aparece dibujada a brochazos por un amigo íntimo, relevando algunos ángulos curiosos en algunas ocasiones y reveladores en otras. La voluntad literaria del autor, con todo, resulta tan innecesaria como escasamente conseguida.
July 9, 2019
To Leonard Cohen fans, especially those who have followed him from teenage years to being over 70, this book is a gem. To fans only of the many versions of Halleluia, not so much.
It is the story of two men, long term bosom buddies as Anne of Green Gables would say.
It starts with Roshi and Buddhism, and is the hardest section to comprehend as an outsider.
But Cohen as wonderful father, searcher, wine and women lover, and hard working artist is portrayed with depth, details, and love not found in a straight biography.
It ends, unsurprisingly, with the need for many Kleenex, and gratitude for Eric Lerner sharing his life, and with our hope for his health; for he shared not only the wry humour of Cohen, but the physical pain of failing bodies.
Best read with a bottle of Italian wine and a DVD of Leonards last huge concert playing in the background, or for the last chapter, the sound track of the album he made with his son, Adam, appropriately called You want it darker.
It is the story of two men, long term bosom buddies as Anne of Green Gables would say.
It starts with Roshi and Buddhism, and is the hardest section to comprehend as an outsider.
But Cohen as wonderful father, searcher, wine and women lover, and hard working artist is portrayed with depth, details, and love not found in a straight biography.
It ends, unsurprisingly, with the need for many Kleenex, and gratitude for Eric Lerner sharing his life, and with our hope for his health; for he shared not only the wry humour of Cohen, but the physical pain of failing bodies.
Best read with a bottle of Italian wine and a DVD of Leonards last huge concert playing in the background, or for the last chapter, the sound track of the album he made with his son, Adam, appropriately called You want it darker.
December 18, 2018
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for a fair review
I'm a fan of Leonard Cohen. I enjoyed learning about his spiritual and personal life from a close friend. This book read like a manuscript a father would leave to his children for prosterity, not like a book to be published. I feel like I know Leonard Cohen as a thoughtful, highly intelligent friend through Eric Lerner's eyes.
I'm a fan of Leonard Cohen. I enjoyed learning about his spiritual and personal life from a close friend. This book read like a manuscript a father would leave to his children for prosterity, not like a book to be published. I feel like I know Leonard Cohen as a thoughtful, highly intelligent friend through Eric Lerner's eyes.
October 15, 2018
I received a complimentary ARC copy of Matters of Vital Interest: A Forty-Year Friendship with Leonard Cohen by Eric Lerner from NetGalley and De Capo Press in order to read and give an honest review.
I have been a fan of Leonard Cohen since my teens. Unlike most of the new wave, punk heroes of my youth, Cohen’s work somehow spoke to me on a very different level. He was not glammed up with spiked hair and eyeliner but had a cool elegance that made him and his music stand out for me. Although his work was, and still is, brilliant, poetic and fairly well known, the man himself, always seemed to remain a mystery...until now. Author Eric Lerner, a close personal friend of Cohen for over forty years shares with us an intimate and unique portrait of the man, his spirit and the creative and curious workings of his mind.
As a fan I really enjoyed this, although bittersweet and intensely emotional at times, it gave us a glimpse inside Cohen's life like nothing else I have watched or read. Lerner and Cohen endured a great deal throughout their friendship from trying to find spiritual meaning and weathering their creative storms, to divorce, parenting and ultimately illness. These two went through it all, offering support, kindness, wit and most importantly honesty. We saw them search for spiritual meaning, exploring Zen Buddhism while still adhering to their Jewish faith. I giggled at the story of their existential conversation whilst watching a nature documentary about penguins. We learn about what made Cohen tick, how proud he was to be a father and the little idiosyncrasies that make us see him as perhaps a little less mysterious and if anything, the very human, honest and extremely self-aware artist he was.
I love the fact Lerner gives us a glimpse into Cohen’s life in a respectful but very honest way, highlighting the good but also sharing the troublesome often overwhelming things that Cohen endured in his life. My only issue with the book, although it wouldn't stop me reading it, was the fact it jumps around in spots. Some sections seemed like a meandering internal dialogue going back and forth, revisiting things as they came to Lerner's mind but often seemed a bit repetitive in my opinion.
All in all, I really enjoyed this unique gift to Cohen fans everywhere, an honest, captivating glimpse at the man and his music, a must read in my opinion.
I have been a fan of Leonard Cohen since my teens. Unlike most of the new wave, punk heroes of my youth, Cohen’s work somehow spoke to me on a very different level. He was not glammed up with spiked hair and eyeliner but had a cool elegance that made him and his music stand out for me. Although his work was, and still is, brilliant, poetic and fairly well known, the man himself, always seemed to remain a mystery...until now. Author Eric Lerner, a close personal friend of Cohen for over forty years shares with us an intimate and unique portrait of the man, his spirit and the creative and curious workings of his mind.
As a fan I really enjoyed this, although bittersweet and intensely emotional at times, it gave us a glimpse inside Cohen's life like nothing else I have watched or read. Lerner and Cohen endured a great deal throughout their friendship from trying to find spiritual meaning and weathering their creative storms, to divorce, parenting and ultimately illness. These two went through it all, offering support, kindness, wit and most importantly honesty. We saw them search for spiritual meaning, exploring Zen Buddhism while still adhering to their Jewish faith. I giggled at the story of their existential conversation whilst watching a nature documentary about penguins. We learn about what made Cohen tick, how proud he was to be a father and the little idiosyncrasies that make us see him as perhaps a little less mysterious and if anything, the very human, honest and extremely self-aware artist he was.
I love the fact Lerner gives us a glimpse into Cohen’s life in a respectful but very honest way, highlighting the good but also sharing the troublesome often overwhelming things that Cohen endured in his life. My only issue with the book, although it wouldn't stop me reading it, was the fact it jumps around in spots. Some sections seemed like a meandering internal dialogue going back and forth, revisiting things as they came to Lerner's mind but often seemed a bit repetitive in my opinion.
All in all, I really enjoyed this unique gift to Cohen fans everywhere, an honest, captivating glimpse at the man and his music, a must read in my opinion.
June 21, 2025
Not a well-written memoir, but a very personal one. It barely has anything to do with Leonard Cohen THEE ARTIST, but a lot about a friendship and the mundane facts of that friendship and growing old 'n' cold. You wouldn't read it if it was about another man, but there is not a lot of Cohen mythology here. Popsicle eating and family crises and surgeries, mostly. The telling is abstracted at times, the chronology annoying to follow. There were dramatic moments, but they were mostly elided, with much more about a single dinner on the town than entire tours or breakups or scandals or lifechanging albums.
That's all I have to say about the quality of the book, I guess the rest of this review is just a diary of thoughts, mostly questions, that the book inspired, which I suppose means that the book was successful in getting me to think, but I don't know if that's what I wanted anyhow...here we go:
How is it possible that Leonard Cohen, who stayed within the darkness and expressed the pain (and glory of enduring the pain) better than any songwriter who ever did it, how is it that THAT Leonard Cohen has basically no answers? Even if you were best friends for four decades with the smartest singer and deepest man, you still can't glean how to live...What chance do I have then? Maybe we didn't want Cohen to cure his depression: was the art better that way? How could a man with riches and fame and women and talent and family and Zen still...not get it right? Whatever right is.
I mean, his art is impassioned, lyrics are clever and deep, and he never really did anything less than intensely. Darker and more honest than almost anyone would be willing to, certainly anyone with his degree of pop fame. So shouldn't he be closer to, well if not happiness then at least satisfaction? Or is it the artist's role to suffer so we don't have to? The good life, what is it?
So we who study and worship his vinyl at the midnight altars of the living room, who have breakthroughs of understanding and crying sessions to revelatory lyrics -- it is still to just put the album on again? That we feel transformed in the moment is the best we can hope for? Cos favorite songs can't save us from the darkness?
I do not feel healed or consoled from reading this, that's for sure.
That's all I have to say about the quality of the book, I guess the rest of this review is just a diary of thoughts, mostly questions, that the book inspired, which I suppose means that the book was successful in getting me to think, but I don't know if that's what I wanted anyhow...here we go:
How is it possible that Leonard Cohen, who stayed within the darkness and expressed the pain (and glory of enduring the pain) better than any songwriter who ever did it, how is it that THAT Leonard Cohen has basically no answers? Even if you were best friends for four decades with the smartest singer and deepest man, you still can't glean how to live...What chance do I have then? Maybe we didn't want Cohen to cure his depression: was the art better that way? How could a man with riches and fame and women and talent and family and Zen still...not get it right? Whatever right is.
I mean, his art is impassioned, lyrics are clever and deep, and he never really did anything less than intensely. Darker and more honest than almost anyone would be willing to, certainly anyone with his degree of pop fame. So shouldn't he be closer to, well if not happiness then at least satisfaction? Or is it the artist's role to suffer so we don't have to? The good life, what is it?
So we who study and worship his vinyl at the midnight altars of the living room, who have breakthroughs of understanding and crying sessions to revelatory lyrics -- it is still to just put the album on again? That we feel transformed in the moment is the best we can hope for? Cos favorite songs can't save us from the darkness?
I do not feel healed or consoled from reading this, that's for sure.
December 15, 2018
A most engaging book. Although I never really belonged to the Cult of Leonard Cohen, I did take a course on Can Lit in university and Cohen is a shining light (especially after the success of Hallelujah)
Eric Lerner met Cohen at a Zen retreat and their friendship has always resolved around Buddhism and their writing Lerner is a screen writer who seems to have cobbled together a career on proposals, four movies and a few novels Amazon has never heard of.
Now that I have made Lerner sound like a traveler on the edge of success, I must praise the book. The pace moves along through forty years the men were close friends, lots of witty repartee, anecdotes about Roshi, the Rinsai Zen Master they followed, later their families and Cohen's final illness.
I have trouble remembering what I said a few days ago; Lerner quotes conversations from 40 years ago. Understandable, makes for a great reading experience. There is a feeling that on his computer Lerner has a file "Cohen reminiscences" that he had been updating regularly through the course of their friendship. Again, understandable when you are the friend of a very famous person
I want to thank Lerner. For me Cohen is no longer the rather black poet who sings in monotone. He lives as a witty, quick, even funny man with a sardonic amusement as he observed the world around him.
Eric Lerner met Cohen at a Zen retreat and their friendship has always resolved around Buddhism and their writing Lerner is a screen writer who seems to have cobbled together a career on proposals, four movies and a few novels Amazon has never heard of.
Now that I have made Lerner sound like a traveler on the edge of success, I must praise the book. The pace moves along through forty years the men were close friends, lots of witty repartee, anecdotes about Roshi, the Rinsai Zen Master they followed, later their families and Cohen's final illness.
I have trouble remembering what I said a few days ago; Lerner quotes conversations from 40 years ago. Understandable, makes for a great reading experience. There is a feeling that on his computer Lerner has a file "Cohen reminiscences" that he had been updating regularly through the course of their friendship. Again, understandable when you are the friend of a very famous person
I want to thank Lerner. For me Cohen is no longer the rather black poet who sings in monotone. He lives as a witty, quick, even funny man with a sardonic amusement as he observed the world around him.
December 25, 2021
I’m glad Mr Lerner wrote this book, despite not knowing how to feel about it. I don’t necessarily think that it is a good book, but I think it adds to the human story. It provides some insights about the usually invisible parts of our lives that don’t get shared.
It tells me two things:
- Just because I think I have a story to tell doesn’t mean it would make a good book. But I should tell it anyway, because…
- Every human story is worth telling, and adds to the greater understanding of who we are and how we live.
I realize that this is an ambivalent response. But what Mr Lerner presents in this book is no more or less than what the cover describes: a forty year friendship with Leonard Cohen. There’s little to excite a Cohen fan, less of an interesting narrative arc, but a LOT of the conversations and gestures and nuance that make up a friendship between two men. This is rare in literature, in memoirs, on screen, and - maybe - in life.
I didn’t love this book. But I will think about it for a while.
It tells me two things:
- Just because I think I have a story to tell doesn’t mean it would make a good book. But I should tell it anyway, because…
- Every human story is worth telling, and adds to the greater understanding of who we are and how we live.
I realize that this is an ambivalent response. But what Mr Lerner presents in this book is no more or less than what the cover describes: a forty year friendship with Leonard Cohen. There’s little to excite a Cohen fan, less of an interesting narrative arc, but a LOT of the conversations and gestures and nuance that make up a friendship between two men. This is rare in literature, in memoirs, on screen, and - maybe - in life.
I didn’t love this book. But I will think about it for a while.
July 29, 2018
This is the story of a great friendship between two men. Two artists whose chance meeting and forty year friendship was destiny. Leonard Cohen the icon-- the public figure-- is not here. Eric Lerner gives us Leonard Cohen the father, the friend, artist and most important-- the man.
Two men, each with his own demons and desires both seeking the unknown-- both searching for complete fulfillment and understanding of life. Lerner shares the intimate details of their friendship- lovingly recounting many joyous and difficult days as only two soulmates could experience them. Two men stripped bare and without compromise.
The facts in the history of their careers are the background of this story, not the focus. This book takes you deep into the minds, feelings and experiences of two influential writers/artists of the past century.
I received and ARC copy from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Two men, each with his own demons and desires both seeking the unknown-- both searching for complete fulfillment and understanding of life. Lerner shares the intimate details of their friendship- lovingly recounting many joyous and difficult days as only two soulmates could experience them. Two men stripped bare and without compromise.
The facts in the history of their careers are the background of this story, not the focus. This book takes you deep into the minds, feelings and experiences of two influential writers/artists of the past century.
I received and ARC copy from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
July 20, 2018
I rarely read memoirs as they tend to either be self-promoting or scandalous. How refreshing Matters of Vital Interest is! First, I do not have many opportunities to read about two men's friendship across such a long period of time. Both Leonard Cohen and Eric Lerner have their quirks that evoke a range of emotions. Friendships that last 40+ years is unusual and a treasure. Lerner writes with honesty and wit. The glue that holds these two men together is their following of Zen Buddhism, first meeting at a retreat and threads through their friendship until Cohen's death in 2016. I enjoyed learning about both Cohen and Lerner. This would be a good book club read as the group would have different aspects to discuss.
Thank you NetGalley for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you NetGalley for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
December 31, 2024
There are that many books written about Cohen, but equally there are many, many people whose lives were touched grandly and deeply by his work. As we cross the precipice of the poet’s 90th year, I’m sure the shorelines of supply and demand will continue to meet and mingle.
This is a good one- not a traditional biography- more of a casual memoir, it’s obviously written by someone who spent a lot of time with Cohen and knew him as well as anyone can ever know another person. It’s thoughtful, measured, playful and cheeky (like Cohen himself). There are many parts of this book that will strike a chord with those familiar with Cohen’s poetry, in the Book of Longing and other volumes.
This is a good one- not a traditional biography- more of a casual memoir, it’s obviously written by someone who spent a lot of time with Cohen and knew him as well as anyone can ever know another person. It’s thoughtful, measured, playful and cheeky (like Cohen himself). There are many parts of this book that will strike a chord with those familiar with Cohen’s poetry, in the Book of Longing and other volumes.
August 2, 2018
I find Leonard Cohen very interesting and admire his music a very unique man.His dear longtime friend Eric Lerner has written a book about their 40 year friendship . Much is written about their following of a zen monk teacher in California,and the house they bought in Los Angeles and shared with their friends and families for many years. Its a warm portrayal of a long attachment of two very different men over the years all over the world,in rough times and happy times and also at the end of his life when he became very ill.
March 27, 2019
Lerner sometimes falls prey to some excessive pontificating and putting things into someone’s thoughts that may or may not have been there but there’s no doubt that this has some very illuminating parts that really humanize Cohen. The last quarter about his final years was particularly vivid and shattering. Well worth reading for devotees but don’t think this is in anyway a biography. It’s more images of how one friend saw and related to Cohen which is still fascinating. A great addition to other reading but not enough in and of itself.
February 25, 2024
First of all you have to understand that I love anything about Leonard Cohen. Canadian, Jew, poet so this book was written for me or for the author who was a friend of his over 40 years - just like the title says.
Like Old Leonard, I can't stand other people, anymore. But I am fine reading how the challenges in their their lives played out.
My favourite story was the author Old Eric had written and produced a movie and found that it was supposed to be funny but it wasn't.
Old Leonard declares, Sometimes it’s hard to see the humour in it all.
Like Old Leonard, I can't stand other people, anymore. But I am fine reading how the challenges in their their lives played out.
My favourite story was the author Old Eric had written and produced a movie and found that it was supposed to be funny but it wasn't.
Old Leonard declares, Sometimes it’s hard to see the humour in it all.
March 25, 2019
This could be a bio of the reader 🤡🤡🤡🤡
What a wonderful read and journey. Honest, painful at times but never ending. I am working on my final book project, this read has changed the whole plan, how? Don’t know but it has. Moving on eighty, the time will come, you see some Allen Ginsberg in the way Leonard approached the second most important day of our lives, our death. Deep bows of thanks from another old Buddhist!
What a wonderful read and journey. Honest, painful at times but never ending. I am working on my final book project, this read has changed the whole plan, how? Don’t know but it has. Moving on eighty, the time will come, you see some Allen Ginsberg in the way Leonard approached the second most important day of our lives, our death. Deep bows of thanks from another old Buddhist!
December 13, 2023
I loved this book. I've been a fan of Leonard Cohen's poetry and songs since the 70's. Never knew much about his life except that he'd spent some time in a zen monetary and he named his daughter Lorca after the Spanish poet. He guarded his private life jealously.
This book, written by a close friend of his for 40 years, opens a window into an outer room of his inner life. The rest must be deduced from his poetry
This book, written by a close friend of his for 40 years, opens a window into an outer room of his inner life. The rest must be deduced from his poetry
November 19, 2018
A Love So Vast And Shattered...
An insightful story of two friends,one of whom just happened to be Leonard Cohen.No tales of unusual sexual practices or narcotic overconfidence,just a wonderful exploration of what it costs the ones who stumble onto the artistic path through life.Excellent book.
An insightful story of two friends,one of whom just happened to be Leonard Cohen.No tales of unusual sexual practices or narcotic overconfidence,just a wonderful exploration of what it costs the ones who stumble onto the artistic path through life.Excellent book.
December 17, 2018
Totally enthralling, even the horrible let falling apart section. I always wanted to know about Cohen's life, where he had been all that time, what was his interest in Buddhism, in his Jewishness, what he did for fun. And it is mostly here in a well-written tribute from a good friend. I didn't even know he had friends.
April 7, 2022
This is a hard one to rank. There is a beautiful and touching book in here somewhere about friendship, love and being an artist. However, the blatant sexism is at best described as offensive and extremely annoying, while at its worst the casual treatment of systemic abuse is both violent and harmful. It’s hard to take the bad with the good — and this book has both.
December 2, 2024
A bit more about Lerner than Cohen than I had bargain for. The book offered no real insights into some really key events in Cohen's life (like losing all his finances, for example).
There are also some discrepancies between what Cohen says in his lyrics and Lerner's take on Cohen's views - which didn't sit comfortably.
There are also some discrepancies between what Cohen says in his lyrics and Lerner's take on Cohen's views - which didn't sit comfortably.
July 11, 2018
Thank you Net Galley for the free ARC. I have listened to Leonard Cohen's music for the past 40 years and hoped to have a glimpse of the character who wrote it. This book was mostly about Cohen's buddhist experience with Roshi and the author's friendship with Cohen.
June 7, 2023
I loved the friendship between Leonard Cohen and the author. They were able to completely be themselves with each other, with no need to for tact or filtering their thoughts. I really enjoyed learning about their escapades together.
October 14, 2023
An important history by one of Leonard’s intimates. Much is revealed, and about a side of Leonard which is not particularly well-known. As an exact history, the book may have some weakness, but it is certainly true to the spirit of their friendship.
December 25, 2018
Heartwarming and brilliant.
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