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Cooperative and Connected: Helping children flourish without punishments or rewards
Cooperative and Connected marks a major breakthrough in our understanding of children's emotional needs from two to eight years of age. It is a revised and updated version of Helping Young Children Flourish , and it continues the same approach described in the author's first book, The Aware Baby. Of interest to parents as well as therapists and early childhood educators, it provides a complete description of respectful, non-punitive parenting. This revised edition contains new information, insights, summary charts, and up-to-date scientific references.
The seven chapters are packed with information about child development and solutions to many common problems encountered by parents of young children. Organized around typical questions that parents ask, and grouped into chapters by common themes, the book contains concrete advice for dealing with a wide range of issues. The topics include tears and tantrums, early childhood fears, appropriate stimulation, how young children learn, the importance of play, aggressive and uncooperative behavior, sibling rivalry, food-related issues, and hyperactivity.
The author describes the disadvantages of both punishments and rewards. Instead of trying to change children's behaviors with these authoritarian methods, she explains the importance of connecting with children and looking beneath the surface to address their underlying needs and feelings, which often lie at the root of behavior problems. Parents will learn how to use play, family meetings, and other conflict-resolution techniques to elicit cooperation and set limits while maintaining a loving connection with their children.
The author considers stress and trauma to be major factors that can cause behavior problems. Even with the most loving parents, children can become stressed, leading to aggressive and uncooperative behavior, as well as anxiety, sleep problems, hyperactivity, and compulsive eating. Parents can help children recover emotional balance by allowing them to fully express their emotions. Crying and raging are not seen as "misbehavior" but rather as natural tension release mechanisms that help children cope with the inevitable stresses of growing up. Instead of punishing or distracting children during their emotional outbursts, the author recommends acceptance and compassionate listening. She also describes certain forms of play that can help children release stress, enhance the parent/child bond, and help solve behavior problems.
Cooperative and Connected is a well-researched book with over 150 scientific references in the fields of child development, psychotherapy, and neurophysiology. The 25 charts provide handy summaries of all the major points. Scattered throughout the text are vivid examples from the author's own experiences as a mother as well as from numerous interviews that she conducted with other parents. Each chapter concludes with a set of exercises for parents who wish to explore their feelings and take active steps in nurturing themselves.
The seven chapters are packed with information about child development and solutions to many common problems encountered by parents of young children. Organized around typical questions that parents ask, and grouped into chapters by common themes, the book contains concrete advice for dealing with a wide range of issues. The topics include tears and tantrums, early childhood fears, appropriate stimulation, how young children learn, the importance of play, aggressive and uncooperative behavior, sibling rivalry, food-related issues, and hyperactivity.
The author describes the disadvantages of both punishments and rewards. Instead of trying to change children's behaviors with these authoritarian methods, she explains the importance of connecting with children and looking beneath the surface to address their underlying needs and feelings, which often lie at the root of behavior problems. Parents will learn how to use play, family meetings, and other conflict-resolution techniques to elicit cooperation and set limits while maintaining a loving connection with their children.
The author considers stress and trauma to be major factors that can cause behavior problems. Even with the most loving parents, children can become stressed, leading to aggressive and uncooperative behavior, as well as anxiety, sleep problems, hyperactivity, and compulsive eating. Parents can help children recover emotional balance by allowing them to fully express their emotions. Crying and raging are not seen as "misbehavior" but rather as natural tension release mechanisms that help children cope with the inevitable stresses of growing up. Instead of punishing or distracting children during their emotional outbursts, the author recommends acceptance and compassionate listening. She also describes certain forms of play that can help children release stress, enhance the parent/child bond, and help solve behavior problems.
Cooperative and Connected is a well-researched book with over 150 scientific references in the fields of child development, psychotherapy, and neurophysiology. The 25 charts provide handy summaries of all the major points. Scattered throughout the text are vivid examples from the author's own experiences as a mother as well as from numerous interviews that she conducted with other parents. Each chapter concludes with a set of exercises for parents who wish to explore their feelings and take active steps in nurturing themselves.
- GenresParenting
230 pages, Paperback
Published February 15, 2018
9 people are currently reading
151 people want to read
About the author
Aletha J. Solter
16 books80 followersAletha Solter, Ph.D. is a Swiss/American developmental psychologist, parenting consultant, and director of the Aware Parenting Institute. She holds a Master's degree in human biology from the University of Geneva, Switzerland (where she studied with Dr. Jean Piaget), and a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of California at Santa Barbara.
When Aletha's first child was born in 1977 (following a traumatic birth) she did not find any parenting books that advocated attachment-style parenting and non-punitive discipline while taking into account the impact of stress and trauma on children's development.
The first book she wrote, The Aware Baby (revised in 2001), is the one that she would have found helpful as a new mother. The Aware Baby has been translated into many languages and sold over 200,000 copies worldwide. Her six other books have also been translated into many languages. All of her books are based on scientific research.
Aletha has led workshops for parents and professionals in 18 countries and is recognized internationally as an expert on attachment, trauma, and non-punitive discipline. She has appeared on TV in the U.S., Europe, South Africa, and Asia. She lives in Southern California and is the mother of two grown children. She is also a proud grandmother.
She founded the Aware Parenting Institute in 1990 to help spread this approach around the world. There are now certified Aware Parenting instructors in 27 countries. For more information, please visit the Aware Parenting Institute website at www.awareparenting.com. You can also find us on Facebook.
When Aletha's first child was born in 1977 (following a traumatic birth) she did not find any parenting books that advocated attachment-style parenting and non-punitive discipline while taking into account the impact of stress and trauma on children's development.
The first book she wrote, The Aware Baby (revised in 2001), is the one that she would have found helpful as a new mother. The Aware Baby has been translated into many languages and sold over 200,000 copies worldwide. Her six other books have also been translated into many languages. All of her books are based on scientific research.
Aletha has led workshops for parents and professionals in 18 countries and is recognized internationally as an expert on attachment, trauma, and non-punitive discipline. She has appeared on TV in the U.S., Europe, South Africa, and Asia. She lives in Southern California and is the mother of two grown children. She is also a proud grandmother.
She founded the Aware Parenting Institute in 1990 to help spread this approach around the world. There are now certified Aware Parenting instructors in 27 countries. For more information, please visit the Aware Parenting Institute website at www.awareparenting.com. You can also find us on Facebook.
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
August 18, 2019
Covers ages 2-8 so I should have read it 7 years ago. Still worthwhile.
June 14, 2021
O carte de bază pentru părinți. Îmi place cum este redată informația, scurt, clar și la subiect, cu multe exemple pentru a înțelege mai bine! Am găsit multe răspunsuri la întrebările mele.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews