Four Three Two One

by Courtney C. Stevens

In this contemporary YA novel, a girl reunites with the three other survivors of a bus bombing that killed nineteen people, and together they face the secrets, struggles, and emotional warfare that each has been enduring.

Golden “Go” Jennings wasn’t supposed to be on Bus 21 the day it blew up in New York City. Neither was her boyfriend, Chandler. But they were. And so was Rudy, a cute stranger whom Go shared a connection with the night before. And Caroline, a girl whose silence ended up costing nineteen people their lives.

Though it’s been a year since the bombing, Go isn’t any closer to getting over what happened. Since Chan shuts down every time Go brings that day up, she decides to reach out to Rudy. Just like that, the two fall right back into their easy, deep connection. Facing the past head-on with Rudy has opened up a small window of healing Go never thought was possible. So she makes an impulsive decision: Round up the rest of the survivors and head to New York City. There they will board an art installation made of the charred remnants of Bus 21.

But things are never easy when it comes to rehashing the past. Uniting the four stirs up conflicting feelings of anger and forgiveness and shows them that, although they all survived, they may still need saving.

Genres: Contemporary, Young Adult, Realistic Fiction, Fiction, Romance, Young Adult Contemporary, Audiobook

400 pages, Hardcover

First published November 13, 2018

About the author

Courtney “Court” Stevens grew up in the knockabout town of Bandana, Kentucky. She is a former adjunct professor, youth minister, Olympic torchbearer, and bookseller at Parnassus Books in Nashville, TN. These days she writes coming-of-truth fiction by night, is the community outreach manager for Warren County Public Library by day, and runs a hobby farm named Fable Stables whenever there is time. Fable Stables has four dogs, six goats, twenty chickens (give or take), and three babydoll sheep on order. She's humbled by the tiny fleet of novels with her name on the spine.

Reviews

[Chelsea (chelseadolling reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. This one was really, really heavy but wow. Courtney Stevens might be a new favorite author for me because I loved this SO MUCH. I need a little more time to sit with this before I review it but seriously, this was SO good.

[Shannon Miz · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight

I haven't been so enamored with a book in quite some time. This was such a freaking amazing book, and one I hadn't expected to hit me as hard as it did. And truth be told, I don't think that anything I can say will fully do it justice. Have you ever read a book and it just exuded a certain feeling? Drew you in, made you fall in love with the whole damn thing? Well, that's where we are here. So I am going to tell you a bunch of junk I liked about the book, while trying to explain that it is even more than the sum of these positives. Okay, here we go!

•Female friendship that is just... everything I want in a girl bond. The relationship that Go had with Becky was just authentic as hell. Sure, it was messy sometimes, and complicated, but Becky was going to be there for Go no matter what. Go learned so much about herself and others from her relationship with Becky, and it was just healthy and a great representation of what friendships are really all about.

•Loads of family stuff. Go's relationship with her parents was complicated at best. But also really realistic feeling, and full of love. But the best, the best relationship was the one Go had with her grandma. Gran reminded me of a combination of both of my grandmothers, who I love and adore more than just about anyone, so seeing her have this incredible relationship with hers was so freaking heartwarming.

•Trials and tribulations of the aftermath of a trauma, but also of just life and growing up. So this is twofold, because each of these things on its own is awesome, but also when you add them together it's incredibly profound. Obviously, the ramifications of the bombing are numerous. You have survivor's guilt, regular guilt, trying to move on after, and so on. The story develops a lot as the friends travel on, and you get a lot of insight into the baggage that everyone is carrying. But, it's also about growing up in its own right. Growing apart from people you love, finding new people to love, and figuring out who and what you want to be. Obviously, navigating these two dynamics together makes for some powerful storytelling. 

•The writing is simply lovely. I highlighted just a ton of passages. Some were beautiful, some were poignant, some were light-hearted and fun, but overall I found the writing to be such a huge plus in this book.

•I cared for every single character. Even the more minor ones, everyone in the story truly served a purpose.

Bottom Line: Like I said, this is just the tip of the iceberg of awesomeness. It's just a story that you feel so deeply, one that I wholeheartedly recommend.

[Madison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Take an author who is excellent at writing powerful stories about heartbreaking situations. Add a plot line about a bombing, abusive relationships, recovery journeys and the power of human togetherness. Drop in five character: four survivors and one along for the ride. Stir together and shake a little. With that recipe it’s no wonder that Four Three Two One is an incredibly powerful and emotive story of surviving, overcoming insurmountable odds, and forgiving yourself.

Golden Jennings is one of four survivors of a bus bombing. While she is eager to unpack the emotions and fallout from that fateful day in New York, her boyfriend, another survivor, won’t mention it at all. When one of the attending paramedics reconstructs the bus and creates a memorial for those who died in the blast, Golden decides to make the trip to New York again. With a new-found friend and the two other survivors, Golden begins a journey towards making new memories, facing old ones and maybe even find some form of healing.

I absolutely adore Courtney Stevens’ writing and novels. Time and time again she produces stories that grip me as a reader, delight me as a librarian because I know this too will be a book that will be handed from reader to eager reader, and make me proud to be human.

The majority of Four Three Two One is written from Golden’s perspective, after the bombing. There are a few extra sections written from fellow bomb survivor, Caroline. These additions offer insight into what happened before the bomb and after and Caroline’s tumultuous feelings and current state of mind. It is through Caroline that we readers also gain insight into the bomber himself and the damage he caused that reached far beyond the bus bombing.

While terribly sad and traumatic, in true Courtney Stevens style, Four Three Two One is an uplifting and often humorous novel. It is superbly written, scattering enough details throughout the story to keep readers totally engaged, but leaving some pretty big reveals for the conclusion.

Family, relationships and romance all play their part in Four Three Two One. Diverse and complex characters, topical themes and stunning writing come together to make a novel that is a must-read YA contemporary and a must-have for all library shelves.

The publishers provided an advanced readers copy of this book for reviewing purposes. All opinions are my own.

Find more reviews, reading age guides, content advisory, and recommendations on my blog Madison's Library

[Yna from Books and Boybands · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wasn't expecting to love this but it was amazing!

[Jane (It'sJaneLindsey) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This was very emotional and will definitely impact readers, but I also had some issues (pacing, plotting, trying to fit too much into one story) that lessened my overall rating. However, I’d still recommend it, especially if you enjoyed Dress Codes for Small Towns.

[Samantha (WLABB) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Go, Chan, Caroline, and Rudy all lost something that day on the bus. While some scars were more obvious than others, each one was harboring some pain and guilt, which was holding them back. Go was hoping that facing her fears at the exhibit would help propel her forward, but maybe she, and all the other survivors, would find the strength they needed before they arrived in New York.

• Pro: This story was emotional and painful and wonderful. Stevens did such an incredible job helping me navigate the very complicated feelings these characters were experiencing, and I loved all the feels that were passed on to me.

• Pro: Survivor stories are always interesting to me. We automatically think of how lucky the they are, but I don't think one can fully understand the complex emotions at play for these people. Four Three Two One was such a thoughtful look at the baggage they were stuck with following the event. Each of these survivors was harboring some guilt related to the bombing, and seeing its impact on their lives was saddening.

• Pro: I thought the story was structured really well. The story was told predominately from Go's point of view in the present, but we also got some chapters from past and present Caroline, and even a little bit of Rudy's viewpoint via his written work. I felt like I got a good look in their heads, and a better understanding of what they were experiencing via this format.

• Pro: The characters were all so well drawn, super likable, and so easy to root for. I even grew to love and care for Caroline, even though she was (rightfully) angry and damaged, because she was just as well crafted as the other characters.

• Pro: There were two really great side characters: Go's grandmother and Becky. Gram was an encouraging and supportive voice, who didn't let fear force her to discourage Go's ambitions, and Becky! She was the sunshine and the cheerleader for this group of survivors. I think she was really important to the story too, because she was a non-survivor in the group, and being on the outside of it all allowed her to be objective and see things more clearly at times.

• Pro: Post explosion, the four survivors had to embrace their new futures. Things happened as a result of the event, which altered their futures, and some of them needed a little nudge to keep moving towards that new destination.

Overall: This was one fantastic non-road trip road trip. It was a beautiful story of the different ways we survive and the healing power of love, forgiveness, connection, and friendship.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

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[Julia Sapphire · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

TW: Bombing, Suicide, Self-harm, Cheating, PTSD, Death, and Toxic Relationships.

This novel follows the story of four survivors who were on Bus #21 that blew up in NYC. Nineteen people died in the explosion and the survivors are trying to cope with their mental health and their guilt.

Golden is a photographer and is dating Chan, while Rudy and Caroline are cousins.
Rudy lost his legs in the explosion and Caroline was the bomber's girlfriend.

I really thought it was interesting how different people react to trauma in different ways. In some couples, it may bring you closer together but other times it splits a relationship apart. We got to see how each individual survivor was affected by this tragedy and them trying to make peace with themselves.

I thought this read was super engaging and interesting. I enjoyed the multiple POVs and getting to know each character, flaws and all. I would suggest this book if you are interested in it!

[Kirstysbookishworld · Rating 4 out of 5]

You know those books that have a special something that you know will stick with you, even if you can’t quite place what that something is? That’s what this book was for me.

The emotions, the bombing, the 4 people who survived and the guilt they felt for such survival is the epicentre of this story. But it’s so much more than that. It’s about making friends who really know you, faults, Walt’s and all. It’s about growing up and how that means something different to every single person. It’s about realising that love comes in tangled and messy ways but it still needs and demands to be felt.

Golden is a character that’s relatable. Honest. Beautiful. But not in your typical cliche kind of way. But in a way that is uniquely hers.

My favourite quote sums up what this book is about and why I loved it so much - life is about one step at a time.

[Lindsay Nixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.8 stars

I'm so glad I stumbled on this book. It has a few scenes that are a little too "High School Musical"/Hollywood--where it's sweet but you also know actual teenagers would not sit in a circle holding hands saying "I forgive you." That aside, GREAT book with fantastic exploration and commentary on what it is like to be a surviving teen and just how far the waves reach when one person does something terrible. We are all connected.

I loved these two quotes:

"I have to live in the future the past gave me."


"Terrorism isn't a bomb. Terrorism is being afraid there will always be a bomb. [...] Pain isn't a bomb. Pain is being afraid no one understands your pain. I know pain. I'm intimately acquainted with the loneliness of believing I am the only one who understands pain like mine. Blame isn't a bomb. Blame is a single arrow I shoot at myself. I know blame. Fear isn't a bomb. Fear is a friend I greet every morning like a spouse on the other side of my bed. I know fear. Fear reminds me that the world takes what it wants and it probably wants me. Fear whispers, "Today could be your last day." Fear is my tattoo, the one on my face. The one strangers see at first glance and think, "my god, boy, what happened to you?" There were days I wanted to be done with terror, pain, blame, and fear. I planned to kill the bad emotions like they were monsters but it's hard to kill the monster that lives inside you. Today, I'm exorcizing the monster. There is no way to know in advance if I have the strength. I won't know until I touch bus 21, look at my friends, and say "I'm ready." I won't know until I allow them to lift my chair onto the very bus that stole my legs. But if a man can be ready to be ready, I am that man."

[PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 STARS

Golden is in a bus bombing in NYC that leaves only three other survivors, her boyfriend Chan, Rudy and the bomber’s girlfriend Caroline. A year later, an artist has recreated the bus for charity and to honor the victims. The group, minus Chan set off on a road trip to reclaim their strength.

FOUR THREE TWO ONE didn’t work for me on multiple levels. First, Golden and Chandler live on a commune and I’m supposed to buy into a love that was meant to be since they were kids. He creepily gives her a promise ring in front of the commune residents (The Hive) and basically forces her into an engagement. Ick. Ick. Ick. I was rooting for her to kick him to the curb for the whole book, which I think is the opposite that Courtney C Stevens wanted.

Second, the book was boring, boring boring.

While a few good tidbits of dating violence and the different ways people experience PTSD, it’s not enough for me to recommend.

[Becca Akins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book ripped my heart out and then slowly mended it. This book follows the four survivors of a bus bombing. Each of these for characters is dealing with their own form of PTSD and survivors guilt. These four characters along with a close friend of one of the survivors take a road trip to the Gand opening of a memorial built for the victims of the bombing. At its core, this book is about healing and forgiveness. The character relationships and individual character development led to a beautifully-raw and moving story of how one event can change everything. This book is full of heartbreaking moments but is equally full of inspiring moments. I love this book, and I am so grateful to the author for writing such a magnificent book.

[Kadi P]

This seems so heavy hitting - just reading the summary I was shocked! I have an intense urge to read this ASAP but I'm wondering if I can even make space in my busy Feb reading schedule🤔 May have to save it for March but I am definitely reading this one this year!

[Kristie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life After Tragedy
"Chandler and Golden versus the world" has been the motto of Chan and Go since they were 11. As seventeen-year-olds, they're a couple, and although they're still facing life's challenges together, there's been a distance between them ever since they became two of four survivors of a horrific bus bombing in New York City. It's been a year since that bomb killed nineteen teens, and Chan and Go are back home in the Hive, the Kentucky commune where they've grown up. Chan and Go are physically okay, but they both silently carry psychological wounds and secrets that are pulling their relationship apart.

FOUR THREE TWO ONE by Courtney Stevens chronicles Go's efforts to reclaim herself in the aftermath of the tragedy. Go is a strong character, but she seems on the verge of breaking from the strain of not dealing with what happened on Bus 21. Go would like to talk about it with Chan, with her parents, or with the other survivors, but most of those closest to her refuse. This makes Go determined to revisit the scene of the bus bombing by returning to New York for the one-year anniversary of the event. An artist (who also happens to be the EMT who took care of Go at the scene) has taken the destroyed bus and turned it into a piece of art, and he's chronicled the whole process in a reality show. That show has also led to a college fund being developed for the four survivors, and that fund has allowed Go to dream of eventually escaping the Hive and leaving Kentucky for college.

Go gathers others to travel with her to New York: a reluctant Chan, the other two survivors--both of whom have stories and secrets of their own--and Becky, a friend from school who seems to be just along for the ride but is an integral part of the group.

There is so much going on in FOUR THREE TWO ONE that it's hard to give a synopsis without writing a full book report... in short, Stevens does a great job writing about broken teens who are trying to pull themselves together while managing the difficulties, both large and small, that life brings. The road trip aspect of the book keeps things moving, and some of the minor characters like Go's grandmother help keep everything grounded and "real." There are times when there is a LOT of talking, but these characters have loads of ground to cover, so that can be forgiven.

This is a book that I would love to see made into a movie. The scenes throughout are vibrant, the main characters (and a few minor ones) are people I'd like to hang out with in the flesh, and I like the world that Stevens has built. Yes, really bad things happen, but there is plenty of good, ample amounts of hope, and room for dreams. Readers can learn a lot from Go's determination to "keep living a full life with a damaged past rather than a damaged life."

My thanks to the publisher and YA Books Central for a copy of FOUR THREE TWO ONE in exchange for my honest review, and kudos to Courtney Stevens for another excellent book.

[Tonyalee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book for free from The Publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

There is much to like about this book honestly, but here is what I liked most:

The relationships of the characters as the story progresses, and how interconnecting their stories were. There's a couple, a stranger, and new friendship that I just adored. You FEEL for all the characters in different ways.

This wasn't just about a tragedy, but also about moving on from it, and living life.

Family. STRONG family connection(s) in this book that made me smile.

The look into Caroline's before and after. Each character carried their own pain, guilt, and horrors from the bombing, but her POV really got to me.

The Ending. I can't get specific because of spoilers, but I really really liked how this ended.

[Forever Young Adult]

Graded By: Brian
Cover Story: Survivors
Drinking Buddy: Yes
Testosterone Estrogen Level: Elevated
Talky Talk: Authentic
Bonus Factors: Photography, Relationship Violence, Commune
Bromance Status: Solid

Read the full book report here.

[Lexy · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. I have to, it had an interesting plot, but it went nowhere and I’m bored.

[Kerine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Plot:
Characters:
Writing:
Ending:
Concept:


I think this book is a pretty good exploration on dealing with trauma and reclaiming one's life after a life-altering experience. I think the choice of incorporating many characters was a good idea but ended up becoming overwhelming (and sort of underwhelming) because there were so many different - complicated - perspectives but I also would have loved to see more of each character's development that existed outside what served the main character's plot.

Other than Caroline, I didn't feel that attached to any of the characters.

All in all, I thought it would've had a bigger impact on me especially since it was very emotional for me at various parts.

[Randi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable and meaningful, but it didn't quite pack the punch I thought it would.

[T. Rosado · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars!

Four Three Two One is a coming of age tale about 4 survivors of a bus explosion and each of their struggles in dealing with the aftermath and their recoveries.

I almost didn't read this book based on the mixed reviews, but I'm so happy I followed my instincts. I enjoyed everything about this book. Well, I can't say I enjoyed the tragedy and some of the horrible acts leading up to it, but I was impressed with the care in which the author handled those elements. I was even more impressed with the details surrounding all of the different characters and how they all interconnected in some way or at the very least were pertinent to the story. I loved the diversity between the characters, as well as their upbringings. They were such an interesting and eclectic group of young adults. There was even a little romance, but not enough to overshadow the larger message. Although the romantic in me would have like to have seen more in the epilogue on that front. Overall, I was completely enthralled during every minute spent in this story. Great writing, relevant story line, and a beautiful message.

[Vicki · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting look at teenage decision-making in the aftermath of trauma.

[Lana · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I have to live with the future the past gave me."

[Jenni · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story about 4 survivors of a bus bombing and how they reconnect to see the bus memorial almost a year later. Not the best book, but not the worst either. Nothing much happens though.

[mars_like_the_planet · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

This was...interesting. It was a lot more convoluted than I initially realized it was going to be. Also, everyone in the book was white. But low diversity and confusion aside, let’s get this party started.

This is the story of four survivors of a bus explosion in New York City. The bus exploded as a result of two bomb vests, worn by two boys on the bus. Each of these survivors now lives haunted by the memory of that day, and are inextricably connected by the events of the day before.

A well-meaning fellow has created an art installation by reconstructing Bus 21 and starting a college fund for the four survivors, who are all in their late teens. The grand opening is soon, and he wishes that the survivors would attend.

Golden “Go” Jennings wants to go. Her boyfriend, Chandler “Chan” Clayton, does not.

Go splits town with her friend Becky (who is hands down my favorite character in the whole novel) to pick up one of the other survivors, Rudy Guthrie, who lives in Florida. They also pick up the fourth survivor, Caroline Ascott, who just happens to be the bomber’s girlfriend.

I wanted more of this book to be “road-trip with fun inside jokes and little to no angst”. Once they pick up Chandler, that is what the book becomes, until Becky (who is the saving grace of this book, I tell you) finally brings it all together and reminds each of them that it’s not their fault that the bus exploded. Even though they all still don’t entirely believe her.

Eventually they get to New York, lalala, all nice and good, pretty ending tied up in a bow.

But there are still problems which have not been resolved. Here’s a list:
—IS CHANDLER/GO A THING, OR IS RUDY/GO A THING? I AM SO DAMN CONFUSED
—LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENS ON ELLIS ISLAND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS ON ELLIS ISLAND
—WHY WOULD SOMEBODY (LOOKING AT YOU CARTER STOCKTON) MAKE A VIDEO SERIES OUT OF A TRAGEDY
—CHAN IS JUST NOT IT AT ALL. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT SWEET ROMANTIC GESTURES FALLING FLAT/BEING “UNABLE TO HANDLE CHANGE”, NOTHING ABOUT HIS CHARACTER WAS REMOTELY LIKEABLE TO ME
—ALL THE COMMUNE STUFF KINDA THREW ME OFF, NOT GONNA LIE
—WHY IS EVERYONE SO FREAKING WHITE

Good Things:
—BECKY AND CAROLINE ARE SO FREAKING ADORABLE
—RUDY AND GO ARE PRETTY CUTE
—I WANT TO LISTEN TO THE BECKY AND GO GO PLAYLIST SO BAD YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND
—LITERALLY EVERY TIME BECKY OPENED HER MOUTH WAS INCREDIBLE

Overall, decent book, not enough diversity and weird commune stuff and Chan’s uptight ass could have been removed and it would have been better. I’m dedicating the rest of this review to Becky Cable quotes, so you’re free to go if you want to.

BECKY CABLE QUOTES:
“I’m not boarding either, bitches”
“There’s an orange on the floorboard. That’s biodegradable. Launch that bastard at a street sign.”
“Hell yeah, Jennings, I’ll knick, knack, Kerouac with you any day. Let’s blow this shitbox town.”
“I’m also making an anti-playlist. We’ll fill it with songs we hate and use it as punishment for all mistakes made. First song? I say ‘Cotton-Eyed Joe’.”
“Facebook? Like THE social network of grandmas and cousins in Tommy Bahama shirts who love their guns?”
“A. Play your mom some real music. And B. You’re stretching synchronicity pretty far, my friend.”
“Two days ago, you refused to even look at a bus. Today you nearly put your foot on the bottom step. That’s progress. And we’re celebrating. Now let’s get back inside so we can eat strawberry pie like senior citizens.”
“Does anybody want to trust Roddy the fuggin’ wizard on a single seatbelt and a truck older than our combined ages?”
“So, yeah, I sort of love the hell out of you, and if you die on me anytime soon, I’ll kill you. I’m not saying it again, but just so you know, me handing out love is like a dentist giving away lollipops.”
“Are you kidding? It’s the perfect Star Wars metaphor. You are Luke Skystalker. This Accelerant thing is Vader. And therefore, we’re going Vadering. Redemption. Revenge. All that good shizz.”
“Laugh you will, no choice give I.”
“Children. I’ll have you pull this vehicle over if you can’t behave yourselves.”
“Fun is nonnegotiable. We’re riding rides until one of you assholes blows chunks. And if anyone uses the word bus or bomber in the next two hours, I’m selling you to a carnie.”
“HELL NO! Every one of you hookers look at me NOW. NONE OF YOU DID THIS. So good God, stop lobbying for who gets to wear the Blame Me More badge.”
“I’ve got mansions of rooms. Jennings, you’re so strong everyone says, “She’s Luke fucking Skystalker”, and then you hand-select the people and places where you choose to fall apart. That’s the secret. You get to be both strong and weak with the right people.”
“Vader your frickin’ heart out, Jennings.”

Okay now I’m done

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Golden, Chan, Rudy, and Caroline. The four survivors of the New York City Bus 21 Bombing that happened back in June; now almost a year later, there will be an art installation memorializing the eighteen victims who were not so lucky.

But the bombing has left each one of them scarred in different ways: Golden can't bring herself to get on a bus; Chan, who avoids talking about New York City altogether; Rudy bears the physical scars; and Caroline, whose former boyfriend was the bomber. Each of them also carries their own secrets and guilt that weigh them down.

This was a very poignant read, exploring the after effects of traumatic experiences, and how they affect people differently. One quibble with the audiobook was the continued mispronunciation of Keuka (it's kuh-YOO-kuh), but that doesn't take away from the story (and is probably undetectable if you're not from upstate New York). Unfortunately, this story seems timely and relevant in today's landscape; recommended for grades 9 and up.

[Mortisha Cassavetes · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG what an amazing story! I just loved it. The story follows a girl named Golden, who survives a bus bombing. She wasn't even supposed to be on that bus but because of fate and chance her and her boyfriend, Chandler, end up on the bus and in the middle of this horrible event. The book brings her and the other survivors together to deal with the emotional and physical trauma they all suffered. I do not want to go into the book more as to not spoil it but I highly recommend it to everyone. This book deals with some hard issues but through it all friendships are made.

[Ashley Lynne · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I thought this book did a great job of showing what PTSD can look like and how people might deal with it, and I also thought the writing was great and there were many awesome quotable moments. But I just couldn’t stay sucked into the story. The audiobook didn’t really do much to add to the experience either, which is a shame, because I love a good audiobook.
I do plan on reading more from this author, if for no other reason, than to get some incredible quotes.

[Nikki Imber · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book really lost out on a golden opportunity for me. It was so bad I almost DNFd TWICE. I somehow kept reading just to think of how to review it in the end. I found the character Golden Jennings boy crazy and unrelatable as a main character. The only emotion I got from this book was frustration that it was so long and pointless.

[Franzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

this one was an instant favourite. i cried, i smiled, i cried even more. this just really got to me.

the characters are all so well-written and play off eachother in interesting ways. throughout the book, the tragedy and what part they all played in it slowly gets unraveled and you just can't help but feel for all of them, in their own sad ways.

who really spoke to me was caroline (is that depressing? yes, i guess it is). her feelings were all so close to my heart and were just portrayed so closely to real life mental health issues that i got chills. for me, at least, she was a really good representation. i love how her character progresses through the book and especially the lgbt+ rep she brings to the story.

it's a very character-driven book and i love that. there's a goal on the horizon but at some point, the focus shifts from that to the journey and challenges the characters face and try to overcome.

this book was a treat and one i will gladly revisit in the future <3

p.s.: this wasn't enough to bring down the 5/5 but did anyone else wonder where chan's parents were? did i miss anything?

[P.M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was another one that I hoped would be better. The story is about four survivors of a bus bombing and their attempts to go on with life. I just didn't like any of the characters - especially Golden. I did like the description of the place where Golden and Chan lived - except that it was in Kentucky.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

More like a 4.5, I loved this one! Full review to come closer to release date.