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Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund.
Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love.
Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief.
As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ...
This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.
Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love.
Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief.
As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ...
This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.
296 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 12, 2011
6 people are currently reading
834 people want to read
About the author
Mel Bossa
31 books217 followersI think I've written and changed my bio on here a hundred times in the last decade. See, that's why I don't have tattoos!
I've been a GR for over ten years and I still use it daily to keep up with my reading and to learn about books, old and new ones, but more importantly, because as I grow older and hopefully wiser, I realize that readers are my favorite type of people. They seem to be a little more empathetic and open-minded, and generally more cultivated.
If you look at my shelves, you'll see that I used to read about 70 books a year but in the last years, I've grown more selective and take my time with my lovers, ahem, books.
Yes, I am also a LGBTQ writer and Francophone Montrealer.
I cherish my readers, and want to take this space here to thank you all personally for reading and reviewing my books. You make reality tolerable like a good class of wine.
May your life be blessed.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 123 reviews
November 3, 2013
4 refreshing stars.****Review completed November 3, 2013
Nick's eyes are stunning. Icy blue like the Northern sky.
The color purple is meaningful.
The main protagonists Derek and Nick differ greatly in their characterizations and that's exactly what I found so interesting about them. Derek is a bit shy and pretty quiet. There's a dreamlike quality about his mind and he's often absent-minded and lives in his own little purple world. And then there is Nick. Quick-tempered, angry and a tad dangerous. A ripped rebel with blond hair and piercing blue eyes. He's and growing up is a struggle. One day he
The story is told from Derek's POV and alternates between past and present. When it's done right I don't mind the back and forth and I like to see characters grow up from childhood to adulthood. In this case, however, I must say that less is sometimes more. Meaning, I would have preferred to spend much more time in the here and now, seeing Derek and Nick's relationship evolve. Unfortunately it never happened. That's my first big issue. Not nearly enough page time for Derek and Nick as a couple. What was there just couldn't satisfy my needy and greedy little heart. Though what really stands out for me is the witty and compelling writing and of course the likable MCs. Also, Aunt Fran was truly a great bonus and I did appreciate her appearance very much. She acted like a surrogate mother to Derek and I was glad to see that someone really loved him when .
Also, I'm not sure if an eleven-year-old boy is skilled (and old) enough to write so maturely. Derek sure was wise beyond his years. In any event, I really enjoyed his diary records; they made me smile and laugh frequently. Yet at the same time I felt a bit guilty for having had such a good time because Derek's journal revealed so much sadness, lack of self-confidence and heartache.
I loved this:
When Derek was a boy he used to draw everything in purple. Purple trees and purple cars. Purple stick men and purple hearts.
"Why?" asked Lene, watching me.
"I asked him that same question one day," returned Aunt Fran.
"Oh and Lene, you should have seen those big emerald eyes, the way they shone. He said,
My second main issue was the sex. I'm going to give it to you straight. It was anticlimactic. I mean these two have such great chemistry and the entire build-up almost killed me. Anticipation, anyone? The air was blazing hot and the need and desire was so palpable and then after a pretty good foreplay session…this…I mean...seriously…this is all I get?
Say what?
BTW, where was the lube? Ouch.
Now let me say a few words about Derek's relationship with Nathan. Derek really annoyed me and I wanted to yell at him to wake up already. He must have some serious hang-ups and an inferior complex when he can spend two years with a self-righteous, thoughtless and manipulative asshole who used him as his boy toy. Do this, do that. Wear this, wear that. Blow me. Let me f@ck you etc. The narcissistic Nathan exploited Derek from A to Z. Have a great time you jerk!
My favorite quote by Aunt Frannie.
I'll see you around, guys...in Blue Dreams. That's next up for me.
Despite my issues, a lot about Split is like a breath of fresh air andI'm definitely going to read more by this author.
UPDATE
After having read and extremely despised Blue Dreams I'm not sure if I'm willing to buy more books by Mel Bossa. I truly wish I hadn't read Blue Dreams and in a way the author achieved to ruin a wonderful book (Split) for me. Sad.
Recommended read.
http://baba.booklikes.com
Nick's eyes are stunning. Icy blue like the Northern sky.
The color purple is meaningful.
The main protagonists Derek and Nick differ greatly in their characterizations and that's exactly what I found so interesting about them. Derek is a bit shy and pretty quiet. There's a dreamlike quality about his mind and he's often absent-minded and lives in his own little purple world. And then there is Nick. Quick-tempered, angry and a tad dangerous. A ripped rebel with blond hair and piercing blue eyes. He's and growing up is a struggle. One day he
The story is told from Derek's POV and alternates between past and present. When it's done right I don't mind the back and forth and I like to see characters grow up from childhood to adulthood. In this case, however, I must say that less is sometimes more. Meaning, I would have preferred to spend much more time in the here and now, seeing Derek and Nick's relationship evolve. Unfortunately it never happened. That's my first big issue. Not nearly enough page time for Derek and Nick as a couple. What was there just couldn't satisfy my needy and greedy little heart. Though what really stands out for me is the witty and compelling writing and of course the likable MCs. Also, Aunt Fran was truly a great bonus and I did appreciate her appearance very much. She acted like a surrogate mother to Derek and I was glad to see that someone really loved him when .
Also, I'm not sure if an eleven-year-old boy is skilled (and old) enough to write so maturely. Derek sure was wise beyond his years. In any event, I really enjoyed his diary records; they made me smile and laugh frequently. Yet at the same time I felt a bit guilty for having had such a good time because Derek's journal revealed so much sadness, lack of self-confidence and heartache.
Boone is obsessed with girls. In kindergarten, he'd have pockets full of bubble gum and coax the girls into showing him their privates. He thinks I don't know that, but I used to watch him do it. It's funny, none of the girls ever asked for the gum afterward.
I ended up chewing a lot of gum that year.
I grew up, and then caught a deadly virus called adulthood.
"Be good," he said as he walked out the front door. "I'll call you tonight. Have a good time with your folks."
A good time with my folks.
That's like asking me to enjoy guilt-free anal sex.
"Derek! I worry about your soul!"
Yes yes, I know. So do I.
I'd like to know where it went.
Boone laughed. "You should see your face right now. You still have a thing for him, don't you?"
My cheeks filled with heat. "No, I do-don't."
"Right. Of course you don't. Then it doesn't' matter if I tell you that Nico swings both ways. I mean, I'm just saying."
"I bet you that cold ocean could use a little of your warmth."
I loved this:
When Derek was a boy he used to draw everything in purple. Purple trees and purple cars. Purple stick men and purple hearts.
"Why?" asked Lene, watching me.
"I asked him that same question one day," returned Aunt Fran.
"Oh and Lene, you should have seen those big emerald eyes, the way they shone. He said,
My second main issue was the sex. I'm going to give it to you straight. It was anticlimactic. I mean these two have such great chemistry and the entire build-up almost killed me. Anticipation, anyone? The air was blazing hot and the need and desire was so palpable and then after a pretty good foreplay session…this…I mean...seriously…this is all I get?
Say what?
BTW, where was the lube? Ouch.
Now let me say a few words about Derek's relationship with Nathan. Derek really annoyed me and I wanted to yell at him to wake up already. He must have some serious hang-ups and an inferior complex when he can spend two years with a self-righteous, thoughtless and manipulative asshole who used him as his boy toy. Do this, do that. Wear this, wear that. Blow me. Let me f@ck you etc. The narcissistic Nathan exploited Derek from A to Z. Have a great time you jerk!
My favorite quote by Aunt Frannie.
"Keep staring, hon. And don't you dare blink, baby. Don't you dare."
I'll see you around, guys...in Blue Dreams. That's next up for me.
Despite my issues, a lot about Split is like a breath of fresh air and
UPDATE
After having read and extremely despised Blue Dreams I'm not sure if I'm willing to buy more books by Mel Bossa. I truly wish I hadn't read Blue Dreams and in a way the author achieved to ruin a wonderful book (Split) for me. Sad.
Recommended read.
http://baba.booklikes.com
December 5, 2014
I always know that I'm loving a book when I start crying for no reason.
Sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed when a book is exceeding my expectations that I get teary-eyed. It is like all of my emotion bubbles out through my eyes (<--- that sounds creepy, right??). I knew when this book started making me cry that it was a winner.
"Split" is unusual. It alternates between past and present, so it is both a coming of age tale and a story about a detached adult, still struggling to find himself. I think many would put this in the category of "gay fiction" rather than romance because it is more about the journey than the end result, if you know what I mean. I was just as interested in Derek and his childhood as I was in his adult relationship. I was fascinated by the quiet, observant, lost childhood-Derek and the experiences that shaped who he would become as an adult.
Nick was a perfect enigma. I saw him through the worshipful eyes of young Derek and the hungry eyes of older Derek. I got Nick in bits and pieces, understanding him more and more over time. I loved that we didn't have his POV. I thought that suited the story perfectly.
My favorite part of this book was the writing. Sparse, well thought out, and purposeful, the writing just made this story for me. It was my first read by Mel Bossa and I will now be watching out for her in the future. I thought that the story was so exquisitely executed that I could not put it down all day.
If you are looking for something different, something to break you out of a book funk, give this one a shot. It was so excellent that I almost want to start it again, just to get back to that place of happy tears.
On the topic of the sequels. I will not be reading them. I am actually mad that they even exist. I know what happens in them because I read the blurbs and reviews, and it boils my blood that the perfect ending of "Split" was marred in any way.
Sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed when a book is exceeding my expectations that I get teary-eyed. It is like all of my emotion bubbles out through my eyes (<--- that sounds creepy, right??). I knew when this book started making me cry that it was a winner.
"Split" is unusual. It alternates between past and present, so it is both a coming of age tale and a story about a detached adult, still struggling to find himself. I think many would put this in the category of "gay fiction" rather than romance because it is more about the journey than the end result, if you know what I mean. I was just as interested in Derek and his childhood as I was in his adult relationship. I was fascinated by the quiet, observant, lost childhood-Derek and the experiences that shaped who he would become as an adult.
Nick was a perfect enigma. I saw him through the worshipful eyes of young Derek and the hungry eyes of older Derek. I got Nick in bits and pieces, understanding him more and more over time. I loved that we didn't have his POV. I thought that suited the story perfectly.
My favorite part of this book was the writing. Sparse, well thought out, and purposeful, the writing just made this story for me. It was my first read by Mel Bossa and I will now be watching out for her in the future. I thought that the story was so exquisitely executed that I could not put it down all day.
If you are looking for something different, something to break you out of a book funk, give this one a shot. It was so excellent that I almost want to start it again, just to get back to that place of happy tears.
On the topic of the sequels. I will not be reading them. I am actually mad that they even exist. I know what happens in them because I read the blurbs and reviews, and it boils my blood that the perfect ending of "Split" was marred in any way.
September 28, 2017
Ok, guys. If you are thinking of reading this book, prepare to get your heart crushed so many times, it turns into mud. There was so much pain in it. Derek feels so much, but he never says anything aloud. Having been dealt a crappy hand in life, he finds his family where he can, amongst the Lunds, and it’s in that family he finds the love of his life. While it was sweet to read his struggle in the beginning, nearing the end, I got frustrated with the lack of any emotional growth!
The story goes back and forth from present and past to back again. And this means that this story should be read in one sitting for you to get the best experience. I don’t have much to say in my review, because I wasn’t able to accomplish that. Real life responsibilities got in the way, and everytime I would come back to the book, I would feel as if I’ve come from another planet entirely.
Also, my biggest issue with this one was with the ending. Considering the pain that Derek goes through, the intense love he has always had, the reciprocal from Nick was almost half-hearted, in my opinion. I would’ve loved to see their romance bloom. But rather, they fell into a kiss and that was that. All was resolved. There was a lot of angst in the past, and sometimes I even felt that Nick felt something for Derek, but none of that was covered. When Nick and Derek met, there was no conversation, only events were happening to move the story forward.
I really like my romances to be well developed, or if there is insta love, then some really emotional moments spent together should be described. There was neither in this. *feeling a tad disappointed*
The story goes back and forth from present and past to back again. And this means that this story should be read in one sitting for you to get the best experience. I don’t have much to say in my review, because I wasn’t able to accomplish that. Real life responsibilities got in the way, and everytime I would come back to the book, I would feel as if I’ve come from another planet entirely.
Also, my biggest issue with this one was with the ending. Considering the pain that Derek goes through, the intense love he has always had, the reciprocal from Nick was almost half-hearted, in my opinion. I would’ve loved to see their romance bloom. But rather, they fell into a kiss and that was that. All was resolved. There was a lot of angst in the past, and sometimes I even felt that Nick felt something for Derek, but none of that was covered. When Nick and Derek met, there was no conversation, only events were happening to move the story forward.
I really like my romances to be well developed, or if there is insta love, then some really emotional moments spent together should be described. There was neither in this. *feeling a tad disappointed*
May 1, 2018
This book! This unexpected book! I don’t know how to express my surprise when I opened this little treasure and started reading. I thought I was going like it. The blurb (and two friends I adore) told me so. It fitted. But the synopsis didn’t warn me (neither those friends) about the hook its pages will have on me. The feels, the fall for these characters, the love for the story itself. A hit. A very welcome one. A succession of little punches directly to the place they needed to land.
First punch: Derek’s voice.
Different, warm, honest, funny and very appealing. It’s so easy to love Derek. So easy to fall for the twelve years old kid who wrote in his diary, and so easy to connect with his 29 years-old self. Everything goes easy, natural, great. I was pulled to his story, wanting to know more, understanding him perfectly.
Second punch: the perfection in the storytelling.
Here we have an amazing way to alternate present and past. It’s done through a recently found old diary written by Derek to his unborn brother when he was twelve. An unborn brother who was gonna make the difference. A life changer for our MC.
The diary idea is sweet and a brilliant link to both timelines. Through its pages we read about Derek’s first crush: Nicolai, his neighbor and his best friend’s big brother. These parts are a YA story worthy of all the praising because as a coming-of-age book is one of the best.
Present and flashbacks are alternated magnificently letting us know who Derek is. Not as much Nico but that’s perfect. I didn’t want to know more. He is the mysterious blonde, blue-eye guy, five years older than our Red and that was enough info to keep me interested. That and his rebel but sweet behavior. I didn’t need his voice, Derek’s was strong enough and kept the mystery alive (blessed mystery)
Third punch: the duality.
Two visions in one. The facts told by a naive 12 year-old, bringing closer the 80’s, where Derek had to face being different, learning who he was and who he liked. Friendships, the introduction of—at least— 3 characters I love and the basis of everything. These moments were very sweet, with the essence of a past is not here anymore. Not even a little fragrance. And I could relate. I could smell it, live it.
And where’s the duality? Easy: (as everything in this book, even the ugly parts come smoothly) the past is read through Derek’s adult eyes, in a time where old memories are precisely that: old. And he doesn’t know where his kid self is, where he went, how he forgot about him and his first falling in love .
And these adult eyes, the present day, the stuttered redhead becoming a successful nock out, ready to get married to a charismatic, hot and rich guy, show us readers an amazing contrast to what it has been told and shown. Because that boyfriend doesn’t fit our Red, our O’Reilly, our lost kid who used to write his thoughts and daily life.
Fourth punch: a mix of a lot of things.
Disability (not one, two and so well done and sweet), secondary characters to die for, laughs, sad moments, some tears, some perfectly done elipsis... the writing was excellent, and Mel Bossa achieves in the pace, the feels, the way everything is started and ended. Everything.
Read this book! Highly recommended!
Reviews for Book Lovers
***********************************************************
April 17, 2018 And once again, Christelle I’m proud of calling you my friend. Thank you so much for all your gifts (this book included) and thank you so much for being there. ❤️
First punch: Derek’s voice.
Different, warm, honest, funny and very appealing. It’s so easy to love Derek. So easy to fall for the twelve years old kid who wrote in his diary, and so easy to connect with his 29 years-old self. Everything goes easy, natural, great. I was pulled to his story, wanting to know more, understanding him perfectly.
Second punch: the perfection in the storytelling.
Here we have an amazing way to alternate present and past. It’s done through a recently found old diary written by Derek to his unborn brother when he was twelve. An unborn brother who was gonna make the difference. A life changer for our MC.
The diary idea is sweet and a brilliant link to both timelines. Through its pages we read about Derek’s first crush: Nicolai, his neighbor and his best friend’s big brother. These parts are a YA story worthy of all the praising because as a coming-of-age book is one of the best.
Present and flashbacks are alternated magnificently letting us know who Derek is. Not as much Nico but that’s perfect. I didn’t want to know more. He is the mysterious blonde, blue-eye guy, five years older than our Red and that was enough info to keep me interested. That and his rebel but sweet behavior. I didn’t need his voice, Derek’s was strong enough and kept the mystery alive (blessed mystery)
Third punch: the duality.
Two visions in one. The facts told by a naive 12 year-old, bringing closer the 80’s, where Derek had to face being different, learning who he was and who he liked. Friendships, the introduction of—at least— 3 characters I love and the basis of everything. These moments were very sweet, with the essence of a past is not here anymore. Not even a little fragrance. And I could relate. I could smell it, live it.
And where’s the duality? Easy: (as everything in this book, even the ugly parts come smoothly) the past is read through Derek’s adult eyes, in a time where old memories are precisely that: old. And he doesn’t know where his kid self is, where he went, how he forgot about him and his first falling in love .
And these adult eyes, the present day, the stuttered redhead becoming a successful nock out, ready to get married to a charismatic, hot and rich guy, show us readers an amazing contrast to what it has been told and shown. Because that boyfriend doesn’t fit our Red, our O’Reilly, our lost kid who used to write his thoughts and daily life.
Fourth punch: a mix of a lot of things.
Disability (not one, two and so well done and sweet), secondary characters to die for, laughs, sad moments, some tears, some perfectly done elipsis... the writing was excellent, and Mel Bossa achieves in the pace, the feels, the way everything is started and ended. Everything.
Read this book! Highly recommended!
Reviews for Book Lovers
***********************************************************
April 17, 2018 And once again, Christelle I’m proud of calling you my friend. Thank you so much for all your gifts (this book included) and thank you so much for being there. ❤️
December 5, 2014
I read this book weeks ago and I only remember that I loved it, how am I supposed to review this now?
Oh yeah, I know how, go read Baba's review ;)
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
October 27, 2013
First off...a big THANK YOU to Cassandra from choosing this book for me to read. This book was nowhere near on my radar. Thank you for putting it there because what a story.
All these emotions I have just stirring from this book. Wow.
I figured I split it down the middle into two parts.
Dear Bump,
I'm thankful for the story you're from. It was such a touching, moving tale, with rich characters that I could almost taste, see, feel and hear them...sometimes even with you.
Though the story is Derek O'Reilly's, told from his POV, I felt you were an integral part along with him. You helped him so much and were so loved by him.
I hope you know that.
Derek's story started and ended with you. It moved me, sometimes even to tears. Because Derek was so deserving of love and I think if you had the chance you would have adored him, helped him with his pain. Sometimes, there are people put into this world to love, they were born just for it.
And unfortunately, Derek was surrounded by a lot of people who just couldn't do it.
Thank goodness for Aunt Frannie and the Lunds. I don't know where Derek would have been or become without them. Derek, that shy 11 year old with the world in his eyes, ignored, made fun of his stutter...thank goodness he wrote his letters and expressed himself through them to you. (well mostly, there were a few episodes where he didn't and his pain was a visceral, aching wound) You'll be glad to know he finally overcame that.
Bump, can you imagine falling in love at 11 years old? To know you are gay, know who you love at such a tender age?
"How can I love someone so much, but be invisible to him? I closed my eyes and tried to make my heart stop beating. I prayed to God. "Make this heartbeat be the last."
But it never was."
It's an emotional time, let me tell you, Bump. You think it's etched deep into your bones, you're so full of love. Everyone else around you thinks it's just a crush or idol worship. But not for Derek. He was made for Nicolai Lund, Derek's best friend's older brother. Nicolai was the quintessential bad boy...with a disability (dyslexic) of his own, no less.
What can a damaged 11 and 16 year old do? Though nothing romantic happened during that period, you felt the connection, Bump. That connection was so real, it was tangible, Bump. It couldn't be denied.
But Derek, he has a problem with sharing his feelings, keeping them bottled inside until it's too late. If you only knew what mess Derek gets into presently, Bump. But I'll get to that in my other part of my review.
Oh Bump, when you were first introduced it was jarring. The story telling was, at times, raw, sometimes poetic. But Derek's story had to be told this way, Bump.
Split into past and present to make the whole.
I wish I could have hugged him for you, Bump. But like I said, thank goodness for the Lunds. They provided a model of what a true family bond is. don't get me wrong, they'er not perfect. They are wondrously flawed. I enjoyed each member of the Lund family (And though Nicolai is Derek's love interest, my heart beats for Boone! Love him!)
Real life issues. Real life drama. Real life, Bump. Luckily this stage was so eloquently intertwined with present day. Not hard to follow along once you get into it.
And I got into it hard, Bump.
Enjoyed each and every word.
And your representation might had been a bitter pill to swallow but you represented a sense of hope, joy for one lonely little boy. Beauty can be found from pain.
Sometimes.
Love,
Me
P.S. Cassandra continues to have a nice life. :D
*tilts head*
Dear Derek,
Seventeen years.
Seventeen years worth of love you have for oneboy man. And it was felt, hon. It's not an easy thing for an author to capture every nuance to make years worth of love believable, but Derek I believed you 1000%.
Derek. You lost your way, you settled, you became meek and mild when you always had a spine of steel. You were always worthy.
You just didn't recognize it.
That Nathan mistake...I could ask, why did you let it get so bad? But I'm not. It was what it was. Thankfully the bout of domestic violence was brief, it angered me, Derek. You continued to bottle yourself up. I knew there was a spark in you. I always watch out for the quiet ones, they can make their presence known pretty deep when they want to. so happy you FINALLY let it out, Derek.
I partly wished we could have gotten Nicolai's POV but you know what? As I am writing this, it wasn't needed. All that need to be said...was said. Even all what you didn't say was appreciated by me (and Nick too)
It was great to see all my favorite characters (pretty much everyone except your parents, Derek) grow up. And the story Derek apparently gets better with age? Just when I think it will all be mucked up a believable HEA pops up towards the end. The road Derek and Nicolai take is not without heartache, but that's life.
I'm happy you found your way.
I'm happy with how it ended.
Know I'm totally checking more out from this author because those words...were divine. What a great story.
“O'Reilly, I've been running from the worst of myself all my life, and now it looks like the best of me just caught up.”
Derek, I love you for what you were and what you are. Happy you finally saw what you could become.
Love,
Me
P.S. If you're reading this...definitely check out this book.
All these emotions I have just stirring from this book. Wow.
I figured I split it down the middle into two parts.
Dear Bump,
I'm thankful for the story you're from. It was such a touching, moving tale, with rich characters that I could almost taste, see, feel and hear them...sometimes even with you.
Though the story is Derek O'Reilly's, told from his POV, I felt you were an integral part along with him. You helped him so much and were so loved by him.
I hope you know that.
Derek's story started and ended with you. It moved me, sometimes even to tears. Because Derek was so deserving of love and I think if you had the chance you would have adored him, helped him with his pain. Sometimes, there are people put into this world to love, they were born just for it.
And unfortunately, Derek was surrounded by a lot of people who just couldn't do it.
Thank goodness for Aunt Frannie and the Lunds. I don't know where Derek would have been or become without them. Derek, that shy 11 year old with the world in his eyes, ignored, made fun of his stutter...thank goodness he wrote his letters and expressed himself through them to you. (well mostly, there were a few episodes where he didn't and his pain was a visceral, aching wound) You'll be glad to know he finally overcame that.
Bump, can you imagine falling in love at 11 years old? To know you are gay, know who you love at such a tender age?
"How can I love someone so much, but be invisible to him? I closed my eyes and tried to make my heart stop beating. I prayed to God. "Make this heartbeat be the last."
But it never was."
It's an emotional time, let me tell you, Bump. You think it's etched deep into your bones, you're so full of love. Everyone else around you thinks it's just a crush or idol worship. But not for Derek. He was made for Nicolai Lund, Derek's best friend's older brother. Nicolai was the quintessential bad boy...with a disability (dyslexic) of his own, no less.
What can a damaged 11 and 16 year old do? Though nothing romantic happened during that period, you felt the connection, Bump. That connection was so real, it was tangible, Bump. It couldn't be denied.
But Derek, he has a problem with sharing his feelings, keeping them bottled inside until it's too late. If you only knew what mess Derek gets into presently, Bump. But I'll get to that in my other part of my review.
Oh Bump, when you were first introduced it was jarring. The story telling was, at times, raw, sometimes poetic. But Derek's story had to be told this way, Bump.
Split into past and present to make the whole.
I wish I could have hugged him for you, Bump. But like I said, thank goodness for the Lunds. They provided a model of what a true family bond is. don't get me wrong, they'er not perfect. They are wondrously flawed. I enjoyed each member of the Lund family (And though Nicolai is Derek's love interest, my heart beats for Boone! Love him!)
Real life issues. Real life drama. Real life, Bump. Luckily this stage was so eloquently intertwined with present day. Not hard to follow along once you get into it.
And I got into it hard, Bump.
Enjoyed each and every word.
And your representation might had been a bitter pill to swallow but you represented a sense of hope, joy for one lonely little boy. Beauty can be found from pain.
Sometimes.
Love,
Me
P.S. Cassandra continues to have a nice life. :D
*tilts head*
Dear Derek,
Seventeen years.
Seventeen years worth of love you have for one
Derek. You lost your way, you settled, you became meek and mild when you always had a spine of steel. You were always worthy.
You just didn't recognize it.
That Nathan mistake...I could ask, why did you let it get so bad? But I'm not. It was what it was. Thankfully the bout of domestic violence was brief, it angered me, Derek. You continued to bottle yourself up. I knew there was a spark in you. I always watch out for the quiet ones, they can make their presence known pretty deep when they want to. so happy you FINALLY let it out, Derek.
I partly wished we could have gotten Nicolai's POV but you know what? As I am writing this, it wasn't needed. All that need to be said...was said. Even all what you didn't say was appreciated by me (and Nick too)
It was great to see all my favorite characters (pretty much everyone except your parents, Derek) grow up. And the story Derek apparently gets better with age? Just when I think it will all be mucked up a believable HEA pops up towards the end. The road Derek and Nicolai take is not without heartache, but that's life.
I'm happy you found your way.
I'm happy with how it ended.
Know I'm totally checking more out from this author because those words...were divine. What a great story.
“O'Reilly, I've been running from the worst of myself all my life, and now it looks like the best of me just caught up.”
Derek, I love you for what you were and what you are. Happy you finally saw what you could become.
Love,
Me
P.S. If you're reading this...definitely check out this book.
November 1, 2013
Im saved! After reading a string of not so great books, I was almost ready to give up! It even crossed my mind to try M/F. Can you imagine? The horror! Sorry M/F fans. :) Thank god I decided to read this.
This was so good. I will be reading this again! I want more of the MC's!
My love is red and blue. What is yours? :)
This was so good. I will be reading this again! I want more of the MC's!
My love is red and blue. What is yours? :)
February 7, 2017
4.5 CANDYLAND THUNDERDOME Hearts (Rounded Up)
I've got to get this off my chest.
I love Boone and that his insistence on being called Maverick. Because Top Gun.
I love Lene. Because of her "baby" with Derek.
I love Johan and how paternal and loving he is.
I love Nico and his wildness and hot temper, but especially because of that dance and the eyeliner.
I even love stern Helga, though I do wonder why she's so hard on Nico and if his wildness drove her to ride him like Seabiscuit or if the wildness sprung from the sternness.
I also loved their Nordicness. Everything had beets and Aquavit! That's full of win right there!
You think they ever dressed up like this for Halloween? I bet they had the weird candy on the block.
Split is wildly romantic, but I had to stick with it to get there, though. I'll be honest, I struggled through the first 40ish%. So much pre-teen angst. I felt like I was drowning in it. YA and I are not friends. I also struggle with books where the MCs aren't interacting all that much AND *whispers* I don't really like Derek. *ducks* All of Split is told through Derek with time shifts between him at 11 and at 28. I think he's a complex character that's well fleshed out and I know he got dealt a shitastic parental unit hand. But, oy vey! He needs to use his words, speak up like his dear aunt Frannie and pretty much everyone who cares about him tells him to do. He's so snarky and witty and clever but it's all trapped inside his head. At one point, I found myself saying aloud, 'SAY SOMETHING! ANYTHING!' like a crazy train.
Bravo, Ms. Bossa. You turned me into a one of those people.
Nico helps him come out of his shell and in many ways their relationship is clearly symbiotic from early on. I loved that Nico never made fun of Derek and his stuttering, never didn't have time to be kind to him and was always patient as well as caring for both Derek and his siblings even though they're all at least 5 years younger than him. Derek seems to have a calming effect on Nico early on. Nico is Derek's everything. The sun, the moon, the stars and everything in between. Derek needs Nico like most people need water. He found his soul mate before he even hit puberty. I admit it. I'm a sucker for this destiny trope. Gets me every time.
Jump ahead to Derek at 28, who is in an unsatisfying relationship with a gregarious salesman named Nathan. Nathan is portrayed as "the villain", but I hold Derek just as culpable for the demise of their relationship due to his silence. He's a ghost in their relationship and it was painful to read. A chance meeting with Boone brings the Lunds back into his life and from that moment on, I was completely invested in this story and these characters. That dinner scene with the Lunds was a sucker punch straight to the feelz. The Lunds begin pushing Derek towards Nico as does aunt Frannie. It seems everyone knows Derek has been gaga over Nico since forever. I wonder if Nico had similar feelz for Derek, but held back because of the age difference.
Needless to say, I ended up thoroughly enjoying Split. I loved how authentic all the chef parts were depicted. I loved how funny and poignant it was. I loved that both of them have come to a crossroads in their lives simultaneously and neither made impulsive decisions. The writing of Ms. Bossa is incredible. I was blown away to learn this was her first novel. I would've enjoyed some naughtiness, but… can't win em all.
Recommend for destiny trope saps like me. And fans of the color purple.
You can read the rest of Baby & I's essssperience in THE DOME. Again. HERE
I've got to get this off my chest.
I LOVE THE LUNDS!!!!!!!!!
I love Boone and that his insistence on being called Maverick. Because Top Gun.
I love Lene. Because of her "baby" with Derek.
I love Johan and how paternal and loving he is.
I love Nico and his wildness and hot temper, but especially because of that dance and the eyeliner.
I even love stern Helga, though I do wonder why she's so hard on Nico and if his wildness drove her to ride him like Seabiscuit or if the wildness sprung from the sternness.
I also loved their Nordicness. Everything had beets and Aquavit! That's full of win right there!
You think they ever dressed up like this for Halloween? I bet they had the weird candy on the block.
Split is wildly romantic, but I had to stick with it to get there, though. I'll be honest, I struggled through the first 40ish%. So much pre-teen angst. I felt like I was drowning in it. YA and I are not friends. I also struggle with books where the MCs aren't interacting all that much AND *whispers* I don't really like Derek. *ducks* All of Split is told through Derek with time shifts between him at 11 and at 28. I think he's a complex character that's well fleshed out and I know he got dealt a shitastic parental unit hand. But, oy vey! He needs to use his words, speak up like his dear aunt Frannie and pretty much everyone who cares about him tells him to do. He's so snarky and witty and clever but it's all trapped inside his head. At one point, I found myself saying aloud, 'SAY SOMETHING! ANYTHING!' like a crazy train.
Bravo, Ms. Bossa. You turned me into a one of those people.
Nico helps him come out of his shell and in many ways their relationship is clearly symbiotic from early on. I loved that Nico never made fun of Derek and his stuttering, never didn't have time to be kind to him and was always patient as well as caring for both Derek and his siblings even though they're all at least 5 years younger than him. Derek seems to have a calming effect on Nico early on. Nico is Derek's everything. The sun, the moon, the stars and everything in between. Derek needs Nico like most people need water. He found his soul mate before he even hit puberty. I admit it. I'm a sucker for this destiny trope. Gets me every time.
I could barely hold my love inside my chest anymore. It expanded with every breath Nick took, until I could feel it on the very tip of my scalp and toes. There was darkness all around me. The only light I could see was the one in Nick's eyes. "I see," I whispered.
And the light in his eyes swallowed the darkness.
Like a blue vacuum.
His face makes me want to cry.
Jump ahead to Derek at 28, who is in an unsatisfying relationship with a gregarious salesman named Nathan. Nathan is portrayed as "the villain", but I hold Derek just as culpable for the demise of their relationship due to his silence. He's a ghost in their relationship and it was painful to read. A chance meeting with Boone brings the Lunds back into his life and from that moment on, I was completely invested in this story and these characters. That dinner scene with the Lunds was a sucker punch straight to the feelz. The Lunds begin pushing Derek towards Nico as does aunt Frannie. It seems everyone knows Derek has been gaga over Nico since forever. I wonder if Nico had similar feelz for Derek, but held back because of the age difference.
"…happiness does eventually come, it just needs a lot of foreplay, that's all."
Needless to say, I ended up thoroughly enjoying Split. I loved how authentic all the chef parts were depicted. I loved how funny and poignant it was. I loved that both of them have come to a crossroads in their lives simultaneously and neither made impulsive decisions. The writing of Ms. Bossa is incredible. I was blown away to learn this was her first novel. I would've enjoyed some naughtiness, but… can't win em all.
Recommend for destiny trope saps like me. And fans of the color purple.
"'Because I like mixing the red and blue.'"
Lene set her fingers on her lips, but a small gasp escaped them.
"Red and Blue," she whispered.
Yes.
Red and Blue.
You can read the rest of Baby & I's essssperience in THE DOME. Again. HERE
March 12, 2018
I have liked everything I have read by this author so far, but Split just might take the cake!
I don't want to say too much about the story, instead I want to focus on the amazing writing and the feelings in this book.
Split is the lifestory of Derek O'Reilly and it is told entirely by him. Some parts of the story happened in the past and some are set in the present day but there is almost equal page time dedicated to each one. Throughout the book those two time periods weave around each other in a flawless dance. The first half of the book takes place mainly in the past, with quick scenes set in present day whereas in the second half of the book happens the opposite. The mentions of past events are not always flashbacks, they are mostly told through journal entries that Derek made during a significant winter while he was growing up. In that winter (and probably the whole year he was writing the journal) happened some of the most important events that untimately shaped his character, his life and the lives of those around him. Throughout the whole book, the author manages to alternate between past and present effortlessly and the result is stunning!
The way she gave voice to a twelve year old boy living in the late 80's and how she distinguishes that voice from his older self, who is almost in his 30's, is a true testament of her talent. She was able to give young Derek an innocence and a naivety without being over the top about it. Reading Derek's thoughts of that time made me smile and marvel at how different the world was just a few decades ago. How much more innocent kids were and how things that were considered taboo remained unsaid and the kids interpeted them however they saw fit with a characteristic innocence that is missing from this generaton because of the easy access to any kind of informaton, as everything is just a click away. But more than that, I liked how she was able to tell important events, seen through the eyes of a kid who didn't understand what was happening, and at the same time make sure that the reader was able to understand the truth and get the whole picture.
My one and only complaint about this story is about the errors I found in the text. There were dozens of them and since this is a re-release of a prevously published title I would have thought that the text would have been checked and corrected. I was dissapponted that that wasn't the case.
On the plus side of the re-release, I love the new cover! I wasn't a big fan of the first one, it made me think this was a sci-fi book and because of that assumption it took me this long to read the blurb and find out that this is not the case. I know, I know: Don't judge a book by its cover! I did and nearly missed out on a great story!
On the topic of the sequels, I will not be reading Red Awakening or Blue Dreams because I don't like the blurbs one bit, but I haven't decided about Purple Winter, which by the way was released just a few months ago. My reason for hesitating is that I loved the ending we were given for Derek and Nick in this book, even if I would have loved to see more of them together as a couple. I'm content with the way we left things here and I don't want to see the characters struggle any more than they already have. Anyway, I haven't made up my mind yet, but at the end of this book there is the prologue and the first chapter of Purple Winter so you can read them and decide for yourselves.
4.5 stars
This review has been cross-posted on The Novel Approach Reviews.
*A copy of this book was kindly provided to me by the publisher via The Novel Approach Reviews in exchange for an honest review. *
I don't want to say too much about the story, instead I want to focus on the amazing writing and the feelings in this book.
Split is the lifestory of Derek O'Reilly and it is told entirely by him. Some parts of the story happened in the past and some are set in the present day but there is almost equal page time dedicated to each one. Throughout the book those two time periods weave around each other in a flawless dance. The first half of the book takes place mainly in the past, with quick scenes set in present day whereas in the second half of the book happens the opposite. The mentions of past events are not always flashbacks, they are mostly told through journal entries that Derek made during a significant winter while he was growing up. In that winter (and probably the whole year he was writing the journal) happened some of the most important events that untimately shaped his character, his life and the lives of those around him. Throughout the whole book, the author manages to alternate between past and present effortlessly and the result is stunning!
The way she gave voice to a twelve year old boy living in the late 80's and how she distinguishes that voice from his older self, who is almost in his 30's, is a true testament of her talent. She was able to give young Derek an innocence and a naivety without being over the top about it. Reading Derek's thoughts of that time made me smile and marvel at how different the world was just a few decades ago. How much more innocent kids were and how things that were considered taboo remained unsaid and the kids interpeted them however they saw fit with a characteristic innocence that is missing from this generaton because of the easy access to any kind of informaton, as everything is just a click away. But more than that, I liked how she was able to tell important events, seen through the eyes of a kid who didn't understand what was happening, and at the same time make sure that the reader was able to understand the truth and get the whole picture.
My one and only complaint about this story is about the errors I found in the text. There were dozens of them and since this is a re-release of a prevously published title I would have thought that the text would have been checked and corrected. I was dissapponted that that wasn't the case.
On the plus side of the re-release, I love the new cover! I wasn't a big fan of the first one, it made me think this was a sci-fi book and because of that assumption it took me this long to read the blurb and find out that this is not the case. I know, I know: Don't judge a book by its cover! I did and nearly missed out on a great story!
On the topic of the sequels, I will not be reading Red Awakening or Blue Dreams because I don't like the blurbs one bit, but I haven't decided about Purple Winter, which by the way was released just a few months ago. My reason for hesitating is that I loved the ending we were given for Derek and Nick in this book, even if I would have loved to see more of them together as a couple. I'm content with the way we left things here and I don't want to see the characters struggle any more than they already have. Anyway, I haven't made up my mind yet, but at the end of this book there is the prologue and the first chapter of Purple Winter so you can read them and decide for yourselves.
4.5 stars
This review has been cross-posted on The Novel Approach Reviews.
*A copy of this book was kindly provided to me by the publisher via The Novel Approach Reviews in exchange for an honest review. *
November 30, 2011
Oh God, my heart was broken
Derek O'Reilly has been in a relationship for the past two years with a man who says all of the right things, does all of the right things and charms almost everyone he meets. Derek's lover, Nathan who Derek's aunt calls Mr. Alpha, looks really good on paper but in actuality Nathan is plastic. He's all shine on the surface but there's nothing about him that goes any deeper. Derek's living with Nathan but he's not really living until one day Derek's aunt comes for a visit. Aunt Frannie, a spitfire who's dying of cancer, gives Derek the diary he kept when he was around 11 or 12. The words in that diary send Derek down the road that will lead to the rest of his life.
This book alternates between Derek's present and the year he recorded in his diary when he was 11 or 12. The first 65%-70% follows the diary entries and is peppered with scenes from his present life. Through those diary entries I came to love young Derek. He was quiet, sweet and vulnerable but had an undeniable strength about him. His diary entries are addressed to his baby brother who was stillborn.
Derek has panic induced asthma attacks. His mother is suffering from severe depression after losing the baby and his father seems constantly disappointed with him. In short, Derek's life is almost devoid of love. Almost. He would be like a ghost floating through his own life if it wasn't for his lively Aunt Frannie and his next door neighbors, the Lunds. Derek loves the Lunds and so did I. The parents, Johan and Helga, have three children. The youngest is Lene; she's nine, eccentric and totally in love with Derek. She has a doll that she calls their baby and I loved Lene in all of her craziness. The middle child is Boone who's Derek's best friend, mischevious and a bit of a troublemaker. I adored Boone who was obsessed with girls and the movie Top Gun. Boone protects Derek from the kids who would pick on him and really, Boone is the kind of best friend every young boy should have.
And then there's Nick, Johan and Helga's 16 year old son. Derek's in love with Nick. He freezes up when Nick's around and can barely function around the boy. Nick's the town bad boy, dyslexic, so angry and more than a little misunderstood. Through Derek's feelings for Nick you watch Derek's realization about his sexuality and it's heartbreaking. Derek has no idea what's going on with his body and he's so dismayed at the feelings he's having. He's completely lost. There's one scene where he wishes for his heart to stop beating and when it doesn't his reaction to the fact that he's alive brought tears to my eyes.
As much as I loved young Derek, I also loved 28 year old Derek. While you're reading about young Derek finding out who he is, the present Derek is waking up to the fact that he needs to change things in his life. After seventeen years of not seeing the Lunds, Derek has a chance meeting with Boone and that, along with his old diary, serves as a catalyst for Derek. Lene and Boone as adults were just wonderful. Derek's reunion with them and the Lund parents was so heartwarming. Through the rest of the family Derek and Nick are also reunited and their journey to happiness is something that made my heart swell.
I loved this book and read the whole thing in one sitting. Such a gem.
Derek O'Reilly has been in a relationship for the past two years with a man who says all of the right things, does all of the right things and charms almost everyone he meets. Derek's lover, Nathan who Derek's aunt calls Mr. Alpha, looks really good on paper but in actuality Nathan is plastic. He's all shine on the surface but there's nothing about him that goes any deeper. Derek's living with Nathan but he's not really living until one day Derek's aunt comes for a visit. Aunt Frannie, a spitfire who's dying of cancer, gives Derek the diary he kept when he was around 11 or 12. The words in that diary send Derek down the road that will lead to the rest of his life.
This book alternates between Derek's present and the year he recorded in his diary when he was 11 or 12. The first 65%-70% follows the diary entries and is peppered with scenes from his present life. Through those diary entries I came to love young Derek. He was quiet, sweet and vulnerable but had an undeniable strength about him. His diary entries are addressed to his baby brother who was stillborn.
Derek has panic induced asthma attacks. His mother is suffering from severe depression after losing the baby and his father seems constantly disappointed with him. In short, Derek's life is almost devoid of love. Almost. He would be like a ghost floating through his own life if it wasn't for his lively Aunt Frannie and his next door neighbors, the Lunds. Derek loves the Lunds and so did I. The parents, Johan and Helga, have three children. The youngest is Lene; she's nine, eccentric and totally in love with Derek. She has a doll that she calls their baby and I loved Lene in all of her craziness. The middle child is Boone who's Derek's best friend, mischevious and a bit of a troublemaker. I adored Boone who was obsessed with girls and the movie Top Gun. Boone protects Derek from the kids who would pick on him and really, Boone is the kind of best friend every young boy should have.
And then there's Nick, Johan and Helga's 16 year old son. Derek's in love with Nick. He freezes up when Nick's around and can barely function around the boy. Nick's the town bad boy, dyslexic, so angry and more than a little misunderstood. Through Derek's feelings for Nick you watch Derek's realization about his sexuality and it's heartbreaking. Derek has no idea what's going on with his body and he's so dismayed at the feelings he's having. He's completely lost. There's one scene where he wishes for his heart to stop beating and when it doesn't his reaction to the fact that he's alive brought tears to my eyes.
As much as I loved young Derek, I also loved 28 year old Derek. While you're reading about young Derek finding out who he is, the present Derek is waking up to the fact that he needs to change things in his life. After seventeen years of not seeing the Lunds, Derek has a chance meeting with Boone and that, along with his old diary, serves as a catalyst for Derek. Lene and Boone as adults were just wonderful. Derek's reunion with them and the Lund parents was so heartwarming. Through the rest of the family Derek and Nick are also reunited and their journey to happiness is something that made my heart swell.
I loved this book and read the whole thing in one sitting. Such a gem.
March 21, 2012
Read this all the way through in one sitting, only switching off the light close to 2AM this morning. Needless to say, I loved it!
Let me explain this little weakness I have...I love geeky, vulnerable heroes. Ones with asthma pumps and a terrible stutter and an equally debilitating crush on the bad boy next door float my boat very nicely thank you. The story is told through Derrick's point of view, flashing back via diary-style letters to his tragic and lonely teenage self.
Derrick's inability to really connect and find a sense of belonging continues into adulthood and my heart ached for him. Both MC's are scarred and hurt and the tension and build-up is deliciously long (another weakness I have)....when they do eventually get together? It's romance nirvana.
Derrick's story is a sad one and there's lots of lovely angst but it's so nicely balanced with a wonderfully quirky supporting cast that it doesn't come across as melodramatic or over the top. I found it cathartic and sweet and Derrick and Nick are perfect together.
Absolutely perfect.
Beautifully written.
Highly recommended.
Let me explain this little weakness I have...I love geeky, vulnerable heroes. Ones with asthma pumps and a terrible stutter and an equally debilitating crush on the bad boy next door float my boat very nicely thank you. The story is told through Derrick's point of view, flashing back via diary-style letters to his tragic and lonely teenage self.
Derrick's inability to really connect and find a sense of belonging continues into adulthood and my heart ached for him. Both MC's are scarred and hurt and the tension and build-up is deliciously long (another weakness I have)....when they do eventually get together? It's romance nirvana.
Derrick's story is a sad one and there's lots of lovely angst but it's so nicely balanced with a wonderfully quirky supporting cast that it doesn't come across as melodramatic or over the top. I found it cathartic and sweet and Derrick and Nick are perfect together.
Absolutely perfect.
Beautifully written.
Highly recommended.
March 22, 2012
Dear Bump,
I wanted to tell you how much your brother moved me. But that seems dumb. You know that moment after all the storms have blown over and everything is so still, and even the wreckage looks beautiful in the way the sun colors everything -- that's your Brother's story.
Derek, or Red as he is affectionately called, is so beautiful. He has this loud and humorous and fun and loving and broken soul that is so damned ALIVE but he doesn't talk. He doesn't talk cuz he stutters, because he panics, but mostly because everyone he knows has left him. His parents never recovered from losing you, Bump, and the boy he loved so much even though he was way too young to handle it had to leave cuz he's a traveler and he's dangerous. So he wrote all of these letters to you about loving that boy, Nicolai. He wrote about Nic's amazing family and his amazing Aunt Frannie. Then we he was a grown up and Aunt Frannie was dying she gave him that binder full of your letters and he remembered. And then he saw Boone again and Lene and one day... Nicolai. And it was beautiful. And Nicolai was damaged but it's like Red's soul had called him home. And they were together.
And everyone cried. It was good.
I wanted to tell you how much your brother moved me. But that seems dumb. You know that moment after all the storms have blown over and everything is so still, and even the wreckage looks beautiful in the way the sun colors everything -- that's your Brother's story.
Derek, or Red as he is affectionately called, is so beautiful. He has this loud and humorous and fun and loving and broken soul that is so damned ALIVE but he doesn't talk. He doesn't talk cuz he stutters, because he panics, but mostly because everyone he knows has left him. His parents never recovered from losing you, Bump, and the boy he loved so much even though he was way too young to handle it had to leave cuz he's a traveler and he's dangerous. So he wrote all of these letters to you about loving that boy, Nicolai. He wrote about Nic's amazing family and his amazing Aunt Frannie. Then we he was a grown up and Aunt Frannie was dying she gave him that binder full of your letters and he remembered. And then he saw Boone again and Lene and one day... Nicolai. And it was beautiful. And Nicolai was damaged but it's like Red's soul had called him home. And they were together.
And everyone cried. It was good.
October 3, 2016
I’ve left quite a few blank review pages over the past few months. *hangs head in shame* But I can’t seem to leave a glaring white page for this book. Split by Mel Bossa had been sitting on my kindle for ages. It happens sometimes because I tend to buy books in bunches. What? Once my buy-button finger starts clicking, there’s just no stopping! :D So this read got lost in the shuffle for a while, but boy-o-boy am I glad I finally clicked it open. Split brings to life two or three of the most powerful and magnetic characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of bumping into.
Meet Nicolai (Nick) Lund...
"All of hell’s temptations, and some of heaven’s expired offers.”
This guy--*whistles*--is trouble. The kind of trouble you can’t help but be captivated by. Be pulled into. Fall for. And never forget! Nick’s piercing, sea blue, blue eyes hold a world of defiance, danger, energy, and mystery. His pull is powerful! A magnetism that Derek O’Reilly can’t escape or let go. Derek first meets Nick and the whole Lund family as a kid. He lived next door to this lively and loving family. The Lund home was Derek’s refuge from the pain and loss suffocating his family. A young and fragile Derek turns to the Lunds for comfort and warmth. Let me just say right now--Derek will break your heart into bits. His childhood journal is so beautiful and raw and full of love.
Which brings me to one of my favorite parts of this book—the flipping back and forth between the past and present. It was dazzling! By the end, I felt as if I knew these people for decades. Derek guides us through his life now and 17 years before. The past wrapped around my heart and squeezed! To say Derek had a crush on Nick would be putting it mildly. He adored, idolized, and loved Nick Lund. And Mel Bossa knows how to capture that overwhelming, all consuming power of a crush on the page. The way it makes you blush and jump and swoon uncontrollably. The need to touch and be near him. Honestly I fell for Nick just as hard as Derek did! You can’t help it. The way Derek sees and describes Nick is irresistible. But to then let that crush and emotion build over time. Let it sit and simmer! I mean we saw it grow! We know where it all began! Time only intensified Nick and Derek’s chemistry. It’s something I can still feel down deep. Nick and Derek are powerful characters.
That’s not to say the other characters didn’t pop to life too though. Boone Lund is one of my favorite characters ever! Haha…He is a giant of a man with the heart to match. Crazy too! But you can’t help but smile and laugh out loud right along with him. Plus anytime Nick called Boone “Bunny Boy” made my heart melt.
These guys! This family! This story will pull you in and never let you go.
Highly recommended.
p.s.
Just one of my favorite Boone quotes: ”You’re so nuts, squirrels wanna crawl up your ear.” :D
December 22, 2014
4.5
This was a gift from my Secret Santa, and WOW. Can I just say that he/she got my tastes PERFECTLY. This story was so beautiful and poignant and moving and HELL YES! Win, win, win.
GAH! I want to read more by this author. That being said, I don't want to destroy the Happy Ending of this one, so I'm going to skip the sequel to this one and check out another story.
If I had any criticism (minor), it would be I wanted a few more scenes with Red and Blue once they reconnected after 17 years. That, and it was definitely noticeable how little Red spoke. I was a little left wondering what about him (other than being attractive) really spoke to Nick. Maybe I needed to see Derek doing/taking action a little more. But, then again, he's a dreamer--and maybe that's what Nick was attracted to.
THANK YOU, Secret Santa--you knocked this one out of the park!
:D
This was a gift from my Secret Santa, and WOW. Can I just say that he/she got my tastes PERFECTLY. This story was so beautiful and poignant and moving and HELL YES! Win, win, win.
GAH! I want to read more by this author. That being said, I don't want to destroy the Happy Ending of this one, so I'm going to skip the sequel to this one and check out another story.
If I had any criticism (minor), it would be I wanted a few more scenes with Red and Blue once they reconnected after 17 years. That, and it was definitely noticeable how little Red spoke. I was a little left wondering what about him (other than being attractive) really spoke to Nick. Maybe I needed to see Derek doing/taking action a little more. But, then again, he's a dreamer--and maybe that's what Nick was attracted to.
THANK YOU, Secret Santa--you knocked this one out of the park!
:D
November 27, 2013
SO, to steal the words from this author, cause yes that is what I am doing, this sums up how I felt through 288 pages
“I’m emotionally castrated butting my head against a barbed-wire fence”
My quest for angst literally kicked me in the face with this book.
How utterly depressing….. AND I LOVED IT!!!
EVERY.SINGLE.SOLITARY.SECOND.OF.IT
I could NOT put this book down. I was a train wreck, a crack addict, I needed my next fix, and I got it every time I swooshed the page to the next one. That euphoria I felt in my sadness, the immense insanity I felt at certain points was all worth it… Because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would be repaired, somewhat, somehow. That I could make it through another chapter.
I am in a state of BLUE and I am bleeding RED. Mix this all 2gether and I have become a PURPLE zombie roaming around.
Real life knocks you down, spits on you and throws you out.
AND
Then we find someone, someone that lifts us up and carries us, helps us carry our load that we find to hard to bare.
I like to think that I have a little bit of Aunt Frannie in me. CAUSE SERIOUSLY SHE IS FREAKING AMAZING.
And when I lost her I became a freaking basket case. It was not pretty. AT ALL. Because I was at work and I got caught in my state of despair. With tears streaming down my face, gasping for breath, gasping for a state of my own REALITY, because really I totally needed it.
Let me know not discuss the diary of an 11 year old boy, because truly I still can’t talk about it, think about it, because at this point it is all that I AM FEELING.
A huge round of applause for you Mel Bossa. Your written word should be read by ALL because you have a way of spinning a reader into a magical web of FEELINGS that not many can do. KUDOS to you.
Mare~Slitsread
“I’m emotionally castrated butting my head against a barbed-wire fence”
My quest for angst literally kicked me in the face with this book.
How utterly depressing….. AND I LOVED IT!!!
EVERY.SINGLE.SOLITARY.SECOND.OF.IT
I could NOT put this book down. I was a train wreck, a crack addict, I needed my next fix, and I got it every time I swooshed the page to the next one. That euphoria I felt in my sadness, the immense insanity I felt at certain points was all worth it… Because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would be repaired, somewhat, somehow. That I could make it through another chapter.
I am in a state of BLUE and I am bleeding RED. Mix this all 2gether and I have become a PURPLE zombie roaming around.
Real life knocks you down, spits on you and throws you out.
AND
Then we find someone, someone that lifts us up and carries us, helps us carry our load that we find to hard to bare.
I like to think that I have a little bit of Aunt Frannie in me. CAUSE SERIOUSLY SHE IS FREAKING AMAZING.
And when I lost her I became a freaking basket case. It was not pretty. AT ALL. Because I was at work and I got caught in my state of despair. With tears streaming down my face, gasping for breath, gasping for a state of my own REALITY, because really I totally needed it.
Let me know not discuss the diary of an 11 year old boy, because truly I still can’t talk about it, think about it, because at this point it is all that I AM FEELING.
A huge round of applause for you Mel Bossa. Your written word should be read by ALL because you have a way of spinning a reader into a magical web of FEELINGS that not many can do. KUDOS to you.
Mare~Slitsread
June 29, 2016
Sinceramente, no sé qué puntuación poner a este libro... Ando ahí, ahí, entre el tres y el cuatro.
Lo que no me ha gustado:
Esa portada... Horror del averno... No creo que el que la eligió haya leído el libro, porque no da ni la más remota idea de lo que te vas a encontrar en sus páginas... Cuando la veo pienso en un flyer para una disco de mazaos...
El personaje de Nathan: No porque sea un cretino (lo es), sino porque me ha parecido un personaje muy plano y porque en general encuentro un recurso facilón presentar al tercero en discordia como un capullo integral... Entonces, ¿Por qué está Derek con él? No se entiende del todo.
El romance: Me ha dejado bastante fría, tanta anticipación, tanta acumulación de sentimientos (tanto en el plano emocional como en el sexual) y cuando los protagonistas se encuentran finalmente... o.O Pinchada de globo.
En lo emocional, porque me han faltado momentos entre los protagonistas, no he llegado a vivir su historia, ni a creérmela del todo... Y en lo sexual porque, chica, después de acompañar a Derek en sus calentones y temblores de rodillas Y que conste que no tengo ningún problema con que no haya escenas de sexo en los libros, pero en este caso concreto, como que no me cuadra.
A pesar de todo, he de decir que el libro, en general, me ha gustado. Me ha atrapado la forma de narrar de la autora, lo he devorado y he evadido mis obligaciones para seguir con la historia de Derek y Nick. Sobre todo, ha conseguido transmitirme los sentimientos de Derek de manera eficaz en todo momento.
Veo que en mi reseña ocupa mucho más espacio la parte negativa, y siento que estoy siendo algo injusta porque me ha parecido, a pesar de todo, una buena lectura, especialmente las partes en el pasado. El presente y la resolución del romance es lo que no ha acabado de funcionar para mí.
Lo que no me ha gustado:
Esa portada... Horror del averno... No creo que el que la eligió haya leído el libro, porque no da ni la más remota idea de lo que te vas a encontrar en sus páginas... Cuando la veo pienso en un flyer para una disco de mazaos...
El personaje de Nathan: No porque sea un cretino (lo es), sino porque me ha parecido un personaje muy plano y porque en general encuentro un recurso facilón presentar al tercero en discordia como un capullo integral... Entonces, ¿Por qué está Derek con él? No se entiende del todo.
El romance: Me ha dejado bastante fría, tanta anticipación, tanta acumulación de sentimientos (tanto en el plano emocional como en el sexual) y cuando los protagonistas se encuentran finalmente... o.O Pinchada de globo.
En lo emocional, porque me han faltado momentos entre los protagonistas, no he llegado a vivir su historia, ni a creérmela del todo... Y en lo sexual porque, chica, después de acompañar a Derek en sus calentones y temblores de rodillas Y que conste que no tengo ningún problema con que no haya escenas de sexo en los libros, pero en este caso concreto, como que no me cuadra.
A pesar de todo, he de decir que el libro, en general, me ha gustado. Me ha atrapado la forma de narrar de la autora, lo he devorado y he evadido mis obligaciones para seguir con la historia de Derek y Nick. Sobre todo, ha conseguido transmitirme los sentimientos de Derek de manera eficaz en todo momento.
Veo que en mi reseña ocupa mucho más espacio la parte negativa, y siento que estoy siendo algo injusta porque me ha parecido, a pesar de todo, una buena lectura, especialmente las partes en el pasado. El presente y la resolución del romance es lo que no ha acabado de funcionar para mí.
December 8, 2011
I don't even know what to say about this book. It was written well, and dealt with a lot of tough situations realistically. That being said I found it extremely depressing right up till the very end. I also am not sure I really feel that the two MC's that end up together were really right for each other. That being said, this book was written beautifully.
I feel in love with Derek though. Him as a little boy and as an adult. My heart broke with him every step of the way. His panic attacks and comments like he looked outside his window every night waiting for his love just crushed me. Nick was also a lost soul, but I think I never really grew attached to him for some reason. I liked him more more as a teenager than as an adult.
Boone might be one of my favorite characters ever.
I feel in love with Derek though. Him as a little boy and as an adult. My heart broke with him every step of the way. His panic attacks and comments like he looked outside his window every night waiting for his love just crushed me. Nick was also a lost soul, but I think I never really grew attached to him for some reason. I liked him more more as a teenager than as an adult.
Boone might be one of my favorite characters ever.
June 23, 2012
I crawled through this story-not because it was uninteresting, but because I wanted to savor every word. I was afraid if I read too fast, I would miss something. Still, I'm fairly certain I didn't discover everything I could have within this text - this is one of those stories I'll read over and over, uncovering new hidden truths and secrets buried in a seemingly simple thought.
"Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching the movie in his mind." The blurb is spot-in. Told in first/person narrative, the story draws the reader quickly into the main character's mind and thoughts - both as an adult and a thirteen year old boy. And that is the genius of this book. Derek's voice alternates from choppy to charming , from childish to mature (regardless of the age/viewpoint the reader is currently in). The author's ability to get inside his mind and provide perfect descriptives (that make me giggle and fall in love a bit) is amazing:
"“Look into my eyes.” His eyes were like two puddles of shiny petroleum"
"My knees were roasted marshmallows. The skin around them couldn’t hold the middle"
While the core of this story is romance - that deep 'knowing' in the pit of your stomach kind - it's so much more. It's a heartbreaking tale of a young boy lost in a world of adult drama. It's a story of family, and it's about Derek's self discovery (and self-acceptance), as he tries to answer a key question:
"...above all, who have I become?"
"Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching the movie in his mind." The blurb is spot-in. Told in first/person narrative, the story draws the reader quickly into the main character's mind and thoughts - both as an adult and a thirteen year old boy. And that is the genius of this book. Derek's voice alternates from choppy to charming , from childish to mature (regardless of the age/viewpoint the reader is currently in). The author's ability to get inside his mind and provide perfect descriptives (that make me giggle and fall in love a bit) is amazing:
"“Look into my eyes.” His eyes were like two puddles of shiny petroleum"
"My knees were roasted marshmallows. The skin around them couldn’t hold the middle"
While the core of this story is romance - that deep 'knowing' in the pit of your stomach kind - it's so much more. It's a heartbreaking tale of a young boy lost in a world of adult drama. It's a story of family, and it's about Derek's self discovery (and self-acceptance), as he tries to answer a key question:
"...above all, who have I become?"
October 27, 2013
OMG! i was just surfing and i found this guy and i instantly thought this is the dangerous Nicolai Lund.
“There are things you don’t know
about my son. He’s trouble. It’s best if
you stay away from him.”
“Dunno. They go by the river a lot. So,
anyways, why do you keep asking me
about my brother all the time?”
He’d be fuckin’ crazy not to want you there.
Every day. Every night.” Against my arm,
his heart thumped. “He’d be stupid not to
want to wake up to your wicked green
eyes. Those eyes that make him feel like
he’s paid his dues. Like he’s finally
finished with living off God’s fucking
redemption crumbs.”
There is no sense in trying to be
good, hoping to find myself back in
God’s grace, when Nick’s skin makes
heaven seem like a flooded trailer park.
“Derek, forget about it. Put that
troublemaker out of your mind.”
“Please.
Open your mouth, Derek, come on, one
big fucking breath and it’s over.”
I grimaced. Nick, a rat?
Don’t snakes eat rats?
“Stubborn. Pioneer. Stormy. The
endless traveler. Dangerous.”
Dangerous.
January 4, 2013
This has to be my favourite read for sometime, it's one I was very reluctant to put down and that on finishing I'm eager to re-read for any missed nuance. That said the tone/style of the book is probably not going to be to everyone's taste.
The book alternates between present day Derek and the journal of his eleven year old self, now this premise is one I'd normally avoid not being a fan of flashbacks, but it was very well executed. I never once got the urge to skip sections because between the two we get to see the whole Derek. I’ve seen reviews mention some clunky text but to me it all seemed in character, he’s been sleepwalking life, due to his stutter quietly, it’s only towards end he becomes wakes whole.
Angst. His growing up was painful and there are moments in this book that are raw and very moving; the numbness/pain he feels, the ‘one word at a time’ bravery, the ‘colouring in purple’ what Fran means to him, and the scene where Derek lets his emotions out. It all feels real and can induce the need for hugs!
What indeed. Nick is a wild, sensitive mess. These lines could stand as the blurb.
There are several characters and none of them saccharine perfection. The neighbouring Lunds are perfect to Derek’s youthful perception but there’s enough given for a reader to see the cracks. Aunt Fran who is the story catalyst has her flaws. Nathan, Derek’s fiancé is not a cardboard bad person because Derek has let the relationship develop that way, you can see how hard his lack of communication would be to live with so while not likeable he‘s sympathetic. Childhood friend Boone is wonderful.
Nick can read Derek without words. It’s a special kind of sorcery.
Only one niggle; right at the end, in fact the very last lines, I felt I’d missed something, like the words held a huge significance that I wasn’t fully appreciating (if you read and can offer insight please do). It doesn’t spoil the story by any means, just I had the thought that they were intended to pack more of a zing.
The book alternates between present day Derek and the journal of his eleven year old self, now this premise is one I'd normally avoid not being a fan of flashbacks, but it was very well executed. I never once got the urge to skip sections because between the two we get to see the whole Derek. I’ve seen reviews mention some clunky text but to me it all seemed in character, he’s been sleepwalking life, due to his stutter quietly, it’s only towards end he becomes wakes whole.
Angst. His growing up was painful and there are moments in this book that are raw and very moving; the numbness/pain he feels, the ‘one word at a time’ bravery, the ‘colouring in purple’ what Fran means to him, and the scene where Derek lets his emotions out. It all feels real and can induce the need for hugs!
‘..happiness does eventually come, it just needs a lot of foreplay, that’s all.’
And what better lover could happiness find?
What indeed. Nick is a wild, sensitive mess. These lines could stand as the blurb.
There are several characters and none of them saccharine perfection. The neighbouring Lunds are perfect to Derek’s youthful perception but there’s enough given for a reader to see the cracks. Aunt Fran who is the story catalyst has her flaws. Nathan, Derek’s fiancé is not a cardboard bad person because Derek has let the relationship develop that way, you can see how hard his lack of communication would be to live with so while not likeable he‘s sympathetic. Childhood friend Boone is wonderful.
Nick can read Derek without words. It’s a special kind of sorcery.
Only one niggle; right at the end, in fact the very last lines, I felt I’d missed something, like the words held a huge significance that I wasn’t fully appreciating (if you read and can offer insight please do). It doesn’t spoil the story by any means, just I had the thought that they were intended to pack more of a zing.
October 31, 2013
I really loved this book. It had two of the things that make me really enjoy a book: a great story and a story nicely told. This is the story of Derek O'Reilly as it is told when he is 28 years old and in flashbacks of his life as an 11 year old.
At the age of 11 Derek's family life quickly falls apart after his mom suffers a loss. Both of his parents check out of their parenting duties and it is no wonder Derek also learns to disengage in his adult life. He becomes what seems like a spineless guy, always avoiding confrontations, but really is just what he learned to do from his parents.
He is also experiencing something for his 16 year old neighbor Nick that he can't put a name on or understand. Derek's agony in his feelings for Nick is something that felt very palpable. Nick as a 16 year old is going through his own teenager hell. We do not get to know a whole lot about his own feelings and struggles as the story is told from Derek's POV but we get some of his story too.
I like how the story is told by using Derek's old journal as a flashback tool. It was very easy to get in Derek's head. This made for a very easy read and one I could not put down once I picked it up.
At the age of 11 Derek's family life quickly falls apart after his mom suffers a loss. Both of his parents check out of their parenting duties and it is no wonder Derek also learns to disengage in his adult life. He becomes what seems like a spineless guy, always avoiding confrontations, but really is just what he learned to do from his parents.
He is also experiencing something for his 16 year old neighbor Nick that he can't put a name on or understand. Derek's agony in his feelings for Nick is something that felt very palpable. Nick as a 16 year old is going through his own teenager hell. We do not get to know a whole lot about his own feelings and struggles as the story is told from Derek's POV but we get some of his story too.
I like how the story is told by using Derek's old journal as a flashback tool. It was very easy to get in Derek's head. This made for a very easy read and one I could not put down once I picked it up.
March 11, 2014
One of the most special books I've read in this genre this year. Beautifully told, with poignant letters and carefully placed flashbacks, and raw emotion that grabbed me from the pages. The story wrung me out at times but the love story at the heart of it was gorgeous. I loved it and will have to find out what else Mel Bossa is writing ASAP!
February 5, 2015
You know what is bad about these kind of books?!! Is that they are so good; You enjoy them so much, you find yourself starting a book after another and they don't measure up.
I loved this, I highlighted so much of Red's thoughts, I covered most of the book.
NICK, Aunt Frannie, Boone, Kenya, God I loved them all.
Thank you Mare <3 <3
Review To Come!
I loved this, I highlighted so much of Red's thoughts, I covered most of the book.
NICK, Aunt Frannie, Boone, Kenya, God I loved them all.
Thank you Mare <3 <3
Review To Come!
February 21, 2016
4.5 stars
This book is like a storm. You have to ride it out. You have to wait for it to run its course and hope you're mostly intact when it's over. It gave me whiplash constantly, but wow what a ride.
Thank you for recommending, SRAL! I'm mad at myself for not reading it sooner.
Recommended!
*Not going anywhere near the other two books in this series, just going to pretend this is where it ends for Derek & Nick.
This book is like a storm. You have to ride it out. You have to wait for it to run its course and hope you're mostly intact when it's over. It gave me whiplash constantly, but wow what a ride.
Thank you for recommending, SRAL! I'm mad at myself for not reading it sooner.
Recommended!
*Not going anywhere near the other two books in this series, just going to pretend this is where it ends for Derek & Nick.
October 23, 2017
5 PURPLE STARS!
I have to say, i loved this book, its sweet, heart breaking, complicated, confusing, annoying and anything else you want to pin on it... But any book that makes me read continuously till i finish, deserves 5 stars.
Its placed in the present and also in the past, in the form of journal/diary entries, which makes it really entertaining and engaging.
Derek O'Reilly is a quiet, shy and imaginative man, he can speak about 10 words a day with out no problem. His fiancee Alpha man Nathan a.k.a Roboto is commanding and wants Derek to be sucked into his world, but he cant even make his boyfriend say 'i love you'
One day Derek's aunt Fran gives his a ticket into his 11 year old self i the form of his childhood diary, which forces him to remember the man he's been trying to forget ever since... Nicolai Lund.
“I like it when you do that.” Nick stared straight ahead.
“What? Sit here, and try not have a panic attack?”
“No. That. The lip thing. It’s sexy.”
When Nick says sexy, the world has an orgasm.
“Come here, O’Reilly.”
I read that blood is actually blue. It only becomes red when it’s
out in the open. That’s my nickname. Red. A lot of people call me that.
Because of my hair.
A lot of people call Nick blue. I don’t know why, though. Maybe
it’s because of his eyes.
They’re so blue, they make the sky look green.
Aunt Frannie says she might move in with us. Just for a while.
When I came home, I took my finger paint out of my closet. It was
still pretty good, so I mixed the red and blue together.
They turned into purple. I made a purple heart and wrote Nick’s
name inside.
Then I gagged.
I cut it all up with the kitchen scissors and flushed the pieces down
the toilet.
“Look at me, O’Reilly. Breathe. Please. Look at me and breathe.”
Softly, Nick pushed the edge of the inhaler into my mouth.
“Please.”
I kept my eyes on his and sucked in a small dose. Then another.
Slowly, my airways relaxed.
“Good boy.” Nick’s fingers released their grip on my shirt, and he
slumped back down against the wall, cradling his face inside the fold of
his arms. “Fuck,” he mumbled. “You’re so intense.”
I have to say, i loved this book, its sweet, heart breaking, complicated, confusing, annoying and anything else you want to pin on it... But any book that makes me read continuously till i finish, deserves 5 stars.
Its placed in the present and also in the past, in the form of journal/diary entries, which makes it really entertaining and engaging.
Derek O'Reilly is a quiet, shy and imaginative man, he can speak about 10 words a day with out no problem. His fiancee Alpha man Nathan a.k.a Roboto is commanding and wants Derek to be sucked into his world, but he cant even make his boyfriend say 'i love you'
One day Derek's aunt Fran gives his a ticket into his 11 year old self i the form of his childhood diary, which forces him to remember the man he's been trying to forget ever since... Nicolai Lund.
“I like it when you do that.” Nick stared straight ahead.
“What? Sit here, and try not have a panic attack?”
“No. That. The lip thing. It’s sexy.”
When Nick says sexy, the world has an orgasm.
“Come here, O’Reilly.”
I read that blood is actually blue. It only becomes red when it’s
out in the open. That’s my nickname. Red. A lot of people call me that.
Because of my hair.
A lot of people call Nick blue. I don’t know why, though. Maybe
it’s because of his eyes.
They’re so blue, they make the sky look green.
Aunt Frannie says she might move in with us. Just for a while.
When I came home, I took my finger paint out of my closet. It was
still pretty good, so I mixed the red and blue together.
They turned into purple. I made a purple heart and wrote Nick’s
name inside.
Then I gagged.
I cut it all up with the kitchen scissors and flushed the pieces down
the toilet.
“Look at me, O’Reilly. Breathe. Please. Look at me and breathe.”
Softly, Nick pushed the edge of the inhaler into my mouth.
“Please.”
I kept my eyes on his and sucked in a small dose. Then another.
Slowly, my airways relaxed.
“Good boy.” Nick’s fingers released their grip on my shirt, and he
slumped back down against the wall, cradling his face inside the fold of
his arms. “Fuck,” he mumbled. “You’re so intense.”
December 25, 2015
Let me start off with the positive things about this book. The writing was wonderful, really. Mel Bossa sure knows how to use beautiful words. The way this story was told, with parts of Derek’s old diary and the constant switching between the part and the present, really well done.
Why only 2 stars then? Because this book depressed the hell out of me. These people were all the glass is half empty kind of people. The people who think life is something to get through instead of enjoying every single day.
This story is told from Derek’s POV. He is now 28 years old and is living with his boyfriend Nathan. He is not sure he loves Nathan, but when Nathan proposes he says yes anyway. He isn’t really enjoying his life, just going through the motions. His aunt gives him his old diary. When he starts reading it, he gets swept away in his past. He was 10 years old and best friends with Boone, his next door neighbor. And severely in love with Boone’s older brother, Nick. The story progresses through pieces of the past and present. We get to know why Derek has trouble loving Nathan and we get to relive Derek’s troubled childhood.
But when he meets Boone again at age 28, he just has to know… what happened to Nick, his one true love..
As I said, all very depressing. Derek has always been a shy boy who doesn’t speak his mind easily. His mom was depressed because she lost a baby during pregnancy. Derek’s father isn’t there most of the time, so Derek only has his aunt who looks after him. I know that these things are hard for any child, but boy this guy is depressed.
And we have Nick, who was a real trouble maker. Nick was always looking to get away.. away from himself perhaps. I just didn’t really understand all the dark feelings these guys were having. Nick came from a very loving family but felt the need to get away from everyone anyway. Life is a beautiful thing, but these guys made it seem as if we should be glad to survive each day.
Spoilers ahead
It felt very anti-climactic when Derek and Nick finally meet up again. Even the sex was very mediocre. And when Nick explains to Derek he has a 16 month old son, I was not happy. I could have gone without that twist. And even breaking up with Nathan was something Derek didn’t do himself. He let Nathan break up with him. Come on, be a man for a change!
If you will excuse me now, I have to look at rainbows and unicorns to feel happy again…
Why only 2 stars then? Because this book depressed the hell out of me. These people were all the glass is half empty kind of people. The people who think life is something to get through instead of enjoying every single day.
This story is told from Derek’s POV. He is now 28 years old and is living with his boyfriend Nathan. He is not sure he loves Nathan, but when Nathan proposes he says yes anyway. He isn’t really enjoying his life, just going through the motions. His aunt gives him his old diary. When he starts reading it, he gets swept away in his past. He was 10 years old and best friends with Boone, his next door neighbor. And severely in love with Boone’s older brother, Nick. The story progresses through pieces of the past and present. We get to know why Derek has trouble loving Nathan and we get to relive Derek’s troubled childhood.
But when he meets Boone again at age 28, he just has to know… what happened to Nick, his one true love..
As I said, all very depressing. Derek has always been a shy boy who doesn’t speak his mind easily. His mom was depressed because she lost a baby during pregnancy. Derek’s father isn’t there most of the time, so Derek only has his aunt who looks after him. I know that these things are hard for any child, but boy this guy is depressed.
And we have Nick, who was a real trouble maker. Nick was always looking to get away.. away from himself perhaps. I just didn’t really understand all the dark feelings these guys were having. Nick came from a very loving family but felt the need to get away from everyone anyway. Life is a beautiful thing, but these guys made it seem as if we should be glad to survive each day.
Spoilers ahead
It felt very anti-climactic when Derek and Nick finally meet up again. Even the sex was very mediocre. And when Nick explains to Derek he has a 16 month old son, I was not happy. I could have gone without that twist. And even breaking up with Nathan was something Derek didn’t do himself. He let Nathan break up with him. Come on, be a man for a change!
If you will excuse me now, I have to look at rainbows and unicorns to feel happy again…
December 4, 2012
Absolutely Stunning!
Warning: When you start reading this book, make sure you give yourself plenty of time, because you will not want to put it down.
This is a very touching story that captured me from the beginning. Little Derek broke my heart! He's such a beautiful character, so shy, kind, funny and sensitive. And I felt in love with the Lunds, all of them: Johan, Helga and their three children: Lene, Boone and Nick. Lene, the youngest, is a little bit crazy, reads a lot and has a crush on Derek... Boone, the middle child, is Derek's best friend and one of my favorites characters: he's loyal, troublemaker and totally obsessed with girls and the movie Top Gun. And then there is the eldest son, Nicolai... angry, stubborn, wild, "dangerous" and the object of Derek's love.
Through the pages of a journal kept by Derek when he was eleven years old, we got to know about his loneliness, his confusing feelings toward Nick and his love for aunt Frannie, the only relative who truly understood him.
I would recommend this book to a friend because:
-It's intense and very different
-The characters are fabulous
-Derek and Nick are so perfect together
-It's beautifully written
So read it!
Warning: When you start reading this book, make sure you give yourself plenty of time, because you will not want to put it down.
This is a very touching story that captured me from the beginning. Little Derek broke my heart! He's such a beautiful character, so shy, kind, funny and sensitive. And I felt in love with the Lunds, all of them: Johan, Helga and their three children: Lene, Boone and Nick. Lene, the youngest, is a little bit crazy, reads a lot and has a crush on Derek... Boone, the middle child, is Derek's best friend and one of my favorites characters: he's loyal, troublemaker and totally obsessed with girls and the movie Top Gun. And then there is the eldest son, Nicolai... angry, stubborn, wild, "dangerous" and the object of Derek's love.
Through the pages of a journal kept by Derek when he was eleven years old, we got to know about his loneliness, his confusing feelings toward Nick and his love for aunt Frannie, the only relative who truly understood him.
I would recommend this book to a friend because:
-It's intense and very different
-The characters are fabulous
-Derek and Nick are so perfect together
-It's beautifully written
So read it!
December 6, 2014
5 stars and 5 ♥♥♥♥♥ from me.
This was such a lovely story, and was told from Derek O'Reilly's (yes, Derek really) POV, mainly in flashback and 'letter' form addressed to his stillborn brother 'Bump', whose death had caused his mother to retreat into a depressive shell and his father to work away from home as often as he could during Derek's childhood. Thank God for his Auntie Fran and the Lund children (Nicolai, Boone and Lene) next door, otherwise he would have had really serious problems himself with a lack of affection and love, depression and loneliness. Boone was his best friend, but even at the tender age of 11, Derek was aware that he had 'inappropriate' feelings for Nicolai, Boone's elder brother. Every time Nicolai spoke to him, went near him or just looked at him, Derek stammered, blushed and generally went to pieces. I'll leave this story here, but am sad to say that I won't be reading the sequels in view of comments made by fellow reviewers on here. I can't understand why the author would think that we, the readers, would want to read about this couple and cheating, foursomes and break ups, sorry.
This was such a lovely story, and was told from Derek O'Reilly's (yes, Derek really) POV, mainly in flashback and 'letter' form addressed to his stillborn brother 'Bump', whose death had caused his mother to retreat into a depressive shell and his father to work away from home as often as he could during Derek's childhood. Thank God for his Auntie Fran and the Lund children (Nicolai, Boone and Lene) next door, otherwise he would have had really serious problems himself with a lack of affection and love, depression and loneliness. Boone was his best friend, but even at the tender age of 11, Derek was aware that he had 'inappropriate' feelings for Nicolai, Boone's elder brother. Every time Nicolai spoke to him, went near him or just looked at him, Derek stammered, blushed and generally went to pieces. I'll leave this story here, but am sad to say that I won't be reading the sequels in view of comments made by fellow reviewers on here. I can't understand why the author would think that we, the readers, would want to read about this couple and cheating, foursomes and break ups, sorry.
August 20, 2013
4.5 stars
Excellent book. Very emotional, at times heartbreaking, but everything comes together nicely in the end. Highly recommended.
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Full review can be found at On Top Down Under Book Reviews.
Excellent book. Very emotional, at times heartbreaking, but everything comes together nicely in the end. Highly recommended.
,
Full review can be found at On Top Down Under Book Reviews.
June 16, 2014
This book shifts back and forth between past and present. Derek is a quiet, contained and somewhat detached guy of twenty-eight. He's in a long-term relationship that he seems to simply have not had the energy to resist. His boyfriend, Nathan, doesn't awake much emotion from him, and he's going through the motions, even to the point of disinterestedly saying "All right" to getting engaged.
In a diary he finds, from when he was eleven, he's reminded of his childhood, the year that his mother lost a baby, and Derek fell in love with the older brother of his best friend. He was obsessed with Nick then, and it seems as though all his current life is colored by the loss of Nick, and an intensity he has never managed to regain. And then he finds out Nick is still alive...
I loved the young Derek sections. There was hurt and love and embarrassment and obsession there. Parents did their best, and other parents failed. It has a very authentic YA feel to it. Boone, Derek's best friend and Nick's brother, is fun, loyal and the right kind of crazy. Nick himself is a heartbreakingly young teenager, complex, angry, caring, and wild. Aunt Frannie, who comes to take care of Derek, is well-meaning but not some kind of superwoman and she has her flaws. The flashbacks were beautifully written and vibrant.
The modern day sections were drier, although the spare tone fit Derek's emotionally closed-off life. Nathan was an enigma, and Derek's reactions, while formed by a hurtful past, were hard to watch. The thing that made me dock a star was that the relationship between Nick and Derek, as it resumed in the present, felt totally rooted in their common past. It was a great, even a wonderful, foundation. But I wasn't convinced that the guys were now right for each other by the end of the book, so there was an air of unresolved pain and tension.
Still, very well written, with emotions pulled from spare prose and actions. Unusual in structure and style, and with an MC who was shaped by his past in unexpected ways. I would gladly read another book by this author.
In a diary he finds, from when he was eleven, he's reminded of his childhood, the year that his mother lost a baby, and Derek fell in love with the older brother of his best friend. He was obsessed with Nick then, and it seems as though all his current life is colored by the loss of Nick, and an intensity he has never managed to regain. And then he finds out Nick is still alive...
I loved the young Derek sections. There was hurt and love and embarrassment and obsession there. Parents did their best, and other parents failed. It has a very authentic YA feel to it. Boone, Derek's best friend and Nick's brother, is fun, loyal and the right kind of crazy. Nick himself is a heartbreakingly young teenager, complex, angry, caring, and wild. Aunt Frannie, who comes to take care of Derek, is well-meaning but not some kind of superwoman and she has her flaws. The flashbacks were beautifully written and vibrant.
The modern day sections were drier, although the spare tone fit Derek's emotionally closed-off life. Nathan was an enigma, and Derek's reactions, while formed by a hurtful past, were hard to watch. The thing that made me dock a star was that the relationship between Nick and Derek, as it resumed in the present, felt totally rooted in their common past. It was a great, even a wonderful, foundation. But I wasn't convinced that the guys were now right for each other by the end of the book, so there was an air of unresolved pain and tension.
Still, very well written, with emotions pulled from spare prose and actions. Unusual in structure and style, and with an MC who was shaped by his past in unexpected ways. I would gladly read another book by this author.
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