What About the Big Stuff?: Finding Strength and Moving Forward When the Stakes Are High

by Richard Carlson

With more than 21 million copies in print, Richard Carlson's bestselling Don't Sweat series has shown countless families, lovers, and workers how not to sweat the small stuff. Now, in his soothing and wise trademark tone, Carlson takes a different approach and discusses life's bigger issues, including dealing with the death of a loved one; how divorce affects your family and friends; confronting illness, whether in yourself or others; and managing difficult financial situations. In chapters such as 'Bouncing Back from Divorce,' 'Finding Life After Death,' and 'Feel Free to Grieve,' Carlson offers healing insight and heartfelt advice on how to find inner peace and strength to deal with the big stuff.

Don't Sweat the Big Stuff, but instead:

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Spirituality, Personal Growth

294 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Richard Carlson was an American author, psychotherapist, and motivational speaker. His book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and it's all Small Stuff (1997), was USA Today's bestselling book for two consecutive years and spent over 101 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller list. It was published in 135 countries and translated into Latvian, Polish, Icelandic, Serbian and 26 other languages. Carlson went on to write 20 books.

Reviews

[Douglas Lord · Rating 2 out of 5]

With this, publishers continued to milk the desire for feel-good books. Carlson’s book will rev the engines of self-helpers without kicking them into drive. Like many of his previous titles (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff), his latest is observational and general, with generic wisdoms that quickly become repetitive. Entries wax on a range of topics, including divorce, stress, and the grieving process. Carlson misses more than he hits, although good points sometimes emerge, e.g., in “Dedicate Yourself to Mind-fullness,” he exhibits uncharacteristic clarity in advising readers to experience thoughts and emotions peacefully. Of little practical use, this is more a pep talk than a means to an end. Read it in conjunction with more focused titles like T.D. Jakes’s frankly Christian Woman, Thou Art Loosed!: Healing the Wounds of the Past. As with entries in the popular “Small Miracles,” “Taste Berries for Teens,” and “Chicken Soup” series, these books contain so much recycled material that libraries would be better off purchasing them only on demand. There are also serviceable single volumes like Barry and Joyce Vissell’s Meant to Be: Miraculous Stories to Inspire a Lifetime of Love or Anna Quindlen’s A Short Guide to a Happy Life.

Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Katherine 黄爱芬 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, saya sudah membaca bbrp buku author tapi kynya ini yg paling tebal yg saya baca. Nyaris 400 hlm kurang sedikit.

Awal² yg saya baca dan rasakan di bab² awal sptnya gak relevan dgn hidup saya. Namun stl 100 hlm lebih saya jadi jauh lebih menikmati membacanya. Walaupun solusi dari author adalah MEDITASI, saya melihat bukan meditasinya tetapi "mundur sejenak" sehingga bisa melihat perspektif lebih jelas dari akar masalahnya. Kita bisa mjd lebih obyektif dan keputusan kita jadi tidak berdasarkan mood swing.

Saran saya sih membaca buku self help model buku author ini kudu sabar sih. Oya author juga menyarankan utk BERSABAR sih. Dan MEMAAFKAN juga. Nah ini butuh mental yg kuat saya rasa.

Saran² dari author banyak yg bagus walaupun contoh²nya cuma sekilas² sih tapi inti point nya saya sdh dpt. Terimakasih atas pencerahannya 👍

3½ ⭐

[Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had some good nuggets of wisdom but the writing was just so boring and slow.

[Fahri Rasihan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Setelah sebelumnya Richard Carlson menulis buku Jangan Membuat Masalah Kecil Jadi Masalah Besar, kali ini ia membahas bagaimana cara kita melewati masalah besar yang sesungguhnya. Mungkin banyak di antara kita semua yang stres, takut, dan cemas akan berbagai masalah besar yang menimpa kita. Mulai dari penyakit, perceraian, masalah finansial, hingga ditinggal pergi oleh orang yang kita cintai. Semua masalah tersebut menguras tenaga, baik secara fisik maupun mental. Di sini Carlson akan menunjukkan cara terbaik agar kita bisa tetap tenang dan bahagia dalam menangani masalah besar dalam hidup. Pola pikir atau perspektif yang akan menentukan langkah kita untuk menanganinya. Biasanya kita akan mengambil langkah yang salah dan terburu-buru saat menghadapi masalah besar. Ini terjadi akibat perspektif kita yang keliru akan masalah tersebut. Melalui buku Mengatasi Masalah Besar Dalam Hidup mata kita akan dibuka tentang perspektif yang selama ini ternyata salah dalam menanggapi masalah besar. Mental dan emosi menjadi fokus utama dalam menyelesaikan masalah besar dalam hidup kita.

Terbagi menjadi 40 bab yang akan menjelaskan berbagai teknik dan cara dalam menghadapi masalah besar ala Richard Carlson. Bab-bab tersebut adalah; Belajar dari Masalah-Masalah Besar, Tanyakan pada Diri Sendiri, "Akankah Hal Ini Berarti Setahun Kemudian?", Ketahui Bahwa Anda Tidak Tahu, dan Masuklah ke Wilayah yang Tidak Diketahui, Bersedihlah Sesuka Hati Anda, Bersiaplah dan Lepaskan, Tarian Perceraian, Mengatasi Kecemasan Menjadi Tua, Menjadi Kekuatan yang Menyembuhkan, Renungkan Kata-Kata, "Kita Harus Menjadi Perubahan yang Kita Inginkan", Dongeng Tentang Kegagalan, Penyakit dan Cedera: Masih Adakah Harapan?, Membuat Segalanya Dapat Dikendalikan, Berhati-Hatilah Menyikapi Beban dari Pikiran yang Sibuk, Hadapi Kebenaran dengan Kebaikan yang Penuh Kasih, Menyerah pada Kurangnya Kendali, Jangan Masuk!, Dedikasikan Diri Anda pada Kesadaran Penuh, Ketahuilah Rahasia dari Pemikiran, Kurangi Rasa Sakit, Carilah Kehidupan Setelah Kematian, Akuilah Persamaan Anda, Lepaskan Masa Lalu Anda, Laluilah Kemunduran Finansial, Tangkap dan Lepaskan, Renungkan Apa yang Akan Anda Katakan---Sebelum Anda Mengatakannya, Perbaiki Kesabaran Anda, Capailah Semua yang Bisa Anda Capai, Perlakukan Orang Lain Seolah-Olah Mereka Akan Meninggal---Malam ini, Pandangan Baru terhadap Stres, Bergantunglah pada Optimisme, Memupuk Hati yang Berbelas Kasih, Dengarkan Dunia Anda, Berpalinglah pada Agama Anda, Siapkan Masa Pensiun, Masalah Besar dan Suasana Hati, Lakukanlah Meditasi, Alamilah Ketetapan Hati yang Tenang, Maafkanlah, Sadari Hubungan Pikiran-Tubuh, dan Kebahagiaan.

Dalam bukunya kali ini Carlson lebih menekankan pada perspektif akan sebuah emosi yang hadir saat masalah besar muncul. Emosi-emosi seperti marah, sedih, dan perasaan negatif lainnya haruslah diperlakukan dengan belas kasih. Sebagai manusia yang terus berpikir, kita harus sadar bahwa memang kita sedang berpikir. Kita harus memilih dan memilah pikiran mana yang layak untuk diberi perhatian. Jangan sampai diri kita dikontrol oleh emosi, tapi kita sendirilah yang harus mengatur emosi-emosi tersebut. Kita pun harus merasakan keberadaan kita saat ini, alih-alih terjebak pada masa lalu yang menyakitkan dan masa depan yang dibayangkan. Masa lalu ada bukan untuk dilupakan, tapi kehadirannya pun jangan sampai memengaruhi kehidupan kita di masa kini. Sebaliknya kita harus lebih merasakan kehadiran kita saat ini agar bisa merasakan hidup yang lebih bahagia dan tanpa kecemasan. Pikiran yang tenang dan damai akan ikut membantu kita dalam menghadapi masalah besar. Langkah-langkah yang efektif dan tepat akan kita dapatkan jika dapat mengendalikan emosi-emosi negatif yang kita rasakan.

Secara keseluruhan Mengatasi Masalah Besar Dalam Hidup memberikan solusi dan cara praktis untuk meredam emosi-emosi negatif saat menghadapi masalah besar. Mungkin solusi dan cara yang dijabarkan oleh Carlson terdengar mudah untuk dipraktikkan, tapi kenyataannya sulit sekali untuk menerapkannya saat masalah besar hadir. Tidak ada solusi atau cara baru yang diberikan oleh penulis. Semua cara-cara menangani emosi-emosi negatif ini terdengar klise dan kerap kali kita dengar, seperti bersabar, meditasi, memaafkan, dan lain sebagainya. Meskipun cara-cara ini sudah usang, tapi entah mengapa Carlson bisa menciptakan situasi dalam bukunya yang dapat dengan mudah kita praktikan. Buku kali ini terkesan lebih padat dan panjang. Namun, sayangnya banyak penjelasan dalam beberapa bab yang terlihat mengulang-ulang. Padahal hanya dengan dua ratus halaman saja mungkin buku ini sudah bisa cukup efektif. Kiat-kiat yang diberikan Carlson kali ini cukup membantu dalam mengatasi masalah besar dalam hidup, walapun mungkin awalnya akan terasa sulit untuk dilakukan.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of it seemed redundant. It had some good insight, but there wasn't anything groundbreaking in this for me

[Liisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

"What About the Big Stuff?" is by Don't Sweat the Small Stuff author, Richard Carlson.

Broken up into bite-size chunks, "What About the Big Stuff?" tackles the big questions such as divorce, moving house, retirement and grief but also manages to apply the same principles to "small stuff" encountered every day.

The author readily admits his flaws (he doesn't always practice what he preaches) which gives it an authenticity. Moreover I couldn't help but reflect on the authors sudden passing in 2006 as I read the advice to live fully every day.

If you want to live a better, healthier and fuller life, I recommend delving into "What About the Big Stuff?".

[Terri Shannon-Renfro · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband, Barry read this first. I'm in process. It's been very helpful to me already and I'm only a few chapters in. Barry has been urging me to get back to it and finish it because it been so helpful for him. We've had big stuff to work through. In the past three years we've experienced saying goodbye to three of our four parents. The fourth is in a care facility with advanced dementia so that's been an ongoing long goodbye, barry had a nearly fatal heart attack and now recovery. There are financial challenges and we're working in jobs while each of us build new careers in our fifties. Oh yah and we're still parenting four kids. This book came along at a perfect time for us. Whether you're in the big stuff now or just want to be better prepared when big stuff happens, read the book!

[Ice · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this groundbreaking new book, Carlson tackles the difficult issues -- from illness, death, injury, and aging, to alcoholism, divorce, and financial pressures -- with his trademark and eminently helpful advice.

What About the Big Stuff? will help anyone feel better able to deal with life's twists and turns by offering warm, reassuring guidance in chapters such as:

-- Overcome Aging Anxiety
-- Become a Healing Force
-- Experience Calm Resolve
-- Retire with Ease
-- Let Go of Your Past, and much more.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author of the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff acknowledges the Big Stuff. Typical Self-Help book. Great Read. Buy on the discount shelf if you have a chance it is worth reading.

[Tami · Rating 4 out of 5]

These books helped me lots when going through tons of pain and anxiety!!

[DianeK Klu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love him. I wish he was still here, writing more books to help this world. RIP Richard Carlson.
I still read a chapter from one of your many books, everyday. Thank you.

[William Schram · Rating 3 out of 5]

Richard Carlson wrote What About The Big Stuff in response to the fans of his Don't Sweat The Small Stuff series asking about the events that do matter. Marriage, Divorce, Aging, and Death are just a few of the topics the book covers. It is forty chapters of maudlin sentimentality. It isn't bad, but I feel that in the Self-Help genre, it comes around more often than not.

On the other hand, Carlson wrote the book in 2002, and the events of the September 11th attacks were fresh in his mind. I can understand where he is coming from with his advice. I recall the endless parade of Country Music and American pride. As someone who tolerates Country Music, it was not a good time.

Carlson is no longer with us, having passed away in 2006. All in all, I thought the book was okay. Thanks for reading my review, and see you next time.

[Michael Huang · Rating 2 out of 5]

A follow up to an earlier book telling people not to sweat about small stuff. But not much other than a few decent quotes:

Buddha said, "Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through love. This is an unalterable law."

"It's actually a good thing that God created aches and pains. They encourage us to be grateful when we're feeling good."

"people are so busy chasing happiness-if they would slow down and turn around, they would give it a chance o catch up with them."

[Amber Cox · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book does not present anything particularly revolutionary, but it offers solid perspective, good overall advice, and real life examples. There are many good reminders. Many of the chapters will be more relevant for older readers, particularly those close to retirement, but Carlson's well-rounded advice can apply to anyone.

[Reyhan · Rating 4 out of 5]

buku kedua yang merubah cara berpikir saya dalam menjalani hidup and this book really recommend for anyone who want living a peaceful life✨

[Mary]

A lot of what we experience is perception that we have the power to change thru out thought life.

This author wrote "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teans". All good.

[alexis phoenix · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quite dry mostly, but it does make one reflect

[Cws]

155.9

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars if rounding up. Key lesson is be prepared for the big stuff, but some of the ideas on how to prepare are pretty interesting.

[Cherie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book could not hold my interest. Everything recommended was just good common sense. I learned nothing new. Seriously doubt I'll read any more books of this nature, at least not by this author.

[Sarah Sammis · Rating 3 out of 5]

As with the "small stuff" books, there is some nice and practical advice with a lot of repetition.

[Clorinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

These are short chapters and I chose to read one chapter a night. What glad to be done with the book. There are some good bits of information in the pages.

[Pastelhearts · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like this book is "must read", as it really helps us look at life and life's challenges in a healthier way.

[Dina Hamdallah]

كتاب جميل جدا وزودني بأغكار ايجابية مكنتش عندي قبل كده

[Michelle Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellant

[alison morton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! an excellent and I think necessary follow up to Dont sweat the small stuff.