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The Dichotomy of Leadership: Balancing the Challenges of Extreme Ownership to Lead and Win
THE INSTANT #1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER
From the #1 New York Times bestselling authors of Extreme Ownership comes a new and revolutionary approach to help leaders recognize and attain the leadership balance crucial to victory.
With their first book, Extreme Ownership (published in October 2015), Jocko Willink and Leif Babin set a new standard for leadership, challenging readers to become better leaders, better followers, and better people, in both their professional and personal lives. Now, in THE DICHOTOMY OF LEADERSHIP , Jocko and Leif dive even deeper into the unchartered and complex waters of a concept first introduced in Extreme Ownership : finding balance between the opposing forces that pull every leader in different directions. Here, Willink and Babin get granular into the nuances that every successful leader must navigate.
Mastering the Dichotomy of Leadership requires understanding when to lead and when to follow; when to aggressively maneuver and when to pause and let things develop; when to detach and let the team run and when to dive into the details and micromanage. In addition, every leader
· Take Extreme Ownership of everything that impacts their mission, yet utilize Decentralize Command by giving ownership to their team.
· Care deeply about their people and their individual success and livelihoods, yet look out for the good of the overall team and above all accomplish the strategic mission.
· Exhibit the most important quality in a leader―humility, but also be willing to speak up and push back against questionable decisions that could hurt the team and the mission.
With examples from the authors’ combat and training experiences in the SEAL teams, and then a demonstration of how each lesson applies to the business world, Willink and Babin clearly explain THE DICHOTOMY OF LEADERSHIP ― skills that are mission-critical for any leader and any team to achieve their ultimate VICTORY.
From the #1 New York Times bestselling authors of Extreme Ownership comes a new and revolutionary approach to help leaders recognize and attain the leadership balance crucial to victory.
With their first book, Extreme Ownership (published in October 2015), Jocko Willink and Leif Babin set a new standard for leadership, challenging readers to become better leaders, better followers, and better people, in both their professional and personal lives. Now, in THE DICHOTOMY OF LEADERSHIP , Jocko and Leif dive even deeper into the unchartered and complex waters of a concept first introduced in Extreme Ownership : finding balance between the opposing forces that pull every leader in different directions. Here, Willink and Babin get granular into the nuances that every successful leader must navigate.
Mastering the Dichotomy of Leadership requires understanding when to lead and when to follow; when to aggressively maneuver and when to pause and let things develop; when to detach and let the team run and when to dive into the details and micromanage. In addition, every leader
· Take Extreme Ownership of everything that impacts their mission, yet utilize Decentralize Command by giving ownership to their team.
· Care deeply about their people and their individual success and livelihoods, yet look out for the good of the overall team and above all accomplish the strategic mission.
· Exhibit the most important quality in a leader―humility, but also be willing to speak up and push back against questionable decisions that could hurt the team and the mission.
With examples from the authors’ combat and training experiences in the SEAL teams, and then a demonstration of how each lesson applies to the business world, Willink and Babin clearly explain THE DICHOTOMY OF LEADERSHIP ― skills that are mission-critical for any leader and any team to achieve their ultimate VICTORY.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published September 25, 2018
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September 25, 2018
Dichotomy of Leadership is the follow-up book to Jocko Willink and Leif Babin's wildly popular book on leadership, Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win. Both men are former Navy Seals and now run a consulting company together called Echelon Front.
Dichotomy of Leadership follows the same general format as Extreme Ownership. The book is divided into three parts: 1) Balancing People, 2) Balancing the Mission, and 3) Balancing Yourself. Each part is then divided into four different chapters---so twelve chapters all together---with each one covering common issues that leaders face. Special emphasis is put on balancing preferable leadership qualities without going to extremes. Here's a quick summary of each chapter:
1) Care about your individual team members, but accept that you might have to sacrifice individuals to save the group.
2) Claim ownership, but don't micromanage others so much that no one else has the opportunity to take control and feel ownership themselves. (One of my favorite chapters.)
3) Be resolute but not overbearing.
4) Do everything you can to help struggling team members, but know when it's time to fire them.
5) Train your team well, but don't be so hard on people that they become overwhelmed and can no longer learn.
6) Be aggressive but not reckless.
7) Be disciplined but not rigid. Allow for flexibility.
8) Hold people accountable, but don't smother them with direction.
9) Be a good follower if you want to be a good leader. (Another favorite!)
10) Plan, but don't over-plan.
11) Be humble, but don't be passive. Prioritize when to push back.
12) Know the details of the mission, but also be detached enough that you can see the big picture.
The chapter on being a good follower was so eye-opening for me. I don't work in a business setting, but I am very active in the PTO at my kid's school. Sometimes the group I lead gets the support it needs...and sometimes it doesn't. And when it doesn't, truthfully, I get mad at my "boss." But this chapter showed me the importance of developing and maintaining a good relationship with my higher-ups, regardless of whether I agree with them or not. I loved this quote:
Strive to have the same relationship with every boss you ever work for, no matter if they are good or bad. The relationship you should seek with any boss incorporates three things: 1) they trust you, 2) they value and seek your opinion and guidance, and 3) they give you what you need to accomplish your mission and then let you go execute.
It's not easy to have patience when you're at odds with your boss, but I appreciate Willink and Babin's advice to breathe and remember my long term goals.
Ultimately, I really enjoyed this book. It's well-written and well-organized, and I loved the real-life examples from the authors' lives. This is a great resource for anyone who works in groups, runs a team, or answers to a boss. In other words, there's something for everyone in here.
See more of my reviews at www.BugBugBooks.com!
Dichotomy of Leadership follows the same general format as Extreme Ownership. The book is divided into three parts: 1) Balancing People, 2) Balancing the Mission, and 3) Balancing Yourself. Each part is then divided into four different chapters---so twelve chapters all together---with each one covering common issues that leaders face. Special emphasis is put on balancing preferable leadership qualities without going to extremes. Here's a quick summary of each chapter:
1) Care about your individual team members, but accept that you might have to sacrifice individuals to save the group.
2) Claim ownership, but don't micromanage others so much that no one else has the opportunity to take control and feel ownership themselves. (One of my favorite chapters.)
3) Be resolute but not overbearing.
4) Do everything you can to help struggling team members, but know when it's time to fire them.
5) Train your team well, but don't be so hard on people that they become overwhelmed and can no longer learn.
6) Be aggressive but not reckless.
7) Be disciplined but not rigid. Allow for flexibility.
8) Hold people accountable, but don't smother them with direction.
9) Be a good follower if you want to be a good leader. (Another favorite!)
10) Plan, but don't over-plan.
11) Be humble, but don't be passive. Prioritize when to push back.
12) Know the details of the mission, but also be detached enough that you can see the big picture.
The chapter on being a good follower was so eye-opening for me. I don't work in a business setting, but I am very active in the PTO at my kid's school. Sometimes the group I lead gets the support it needs...and sometimes it doesn't. And when it doesn't, truthfully, I get mad at my "boss." But this chapter showed me the importance of developing and maintaining a good relationship with my higher-ups, regardless of whether I agree with them or not. I loved this quote:
Strive to have the same relationship with every boss you ever work for, no matter if they are good or bad. The relationship you should seek with any boss incorporates three things: 1) they trust you, 2) they value and seek your opinion and guidance, and 3) they give you what you need to accomplish your mission and then let you go execute.
It's not easy to have patience when you're at odds with your boss, but I appreciate Willink and Babin's advice to breathe and remember my long term goals.
Ultimately, I really enjoyed this book. It's well-written and well-organized, and I loved the real-life examples from the authors' lives. This is a great resource for anyone who works in groups, runs a team, or answers to a boss. In other words, there's something for everyone in here.
See more of my reviews at www.BugBugBooks.com!
December 21, 2020
This book is so ridiculous, I am amazed it is not written by Noddy and Big Ears.
Seriously. Seriously. The book is filled with stories of war, particularly the Battle of Ramadi in 2006. The assumption is that experiences in the military - in war - are the ideal models of leadership for the rest of us.
This type of pseudo-masculine, hutt hutt hutt, silliness demonstrates what is wrong with 'consultants' and how truly bonkers 'transferable skills' really are. Killing people is not the metaphor we require for the public or private sector. "Cover and move" is not the advice we require to manage regulators. How someone behaves in war should not be moved to peace time.
This silliness must stop. People who lead in the private and public sector are not hyper-masculine masters of the universe. Yawn. Don't take your leadership advice from the military. That's how we got into this capitalist excessiveness in the first place. We don't need 'war' to prove we are a 'man.'
And just a reminder - many of us are not men...
Seriously. Seriously. The book is filled with stories of war, particularly the Battle of Ramadi in 2006. The assumption is that experiences in the military - in war - are the ideal models of leadership for the rest of us.
This type of pseudo-masculine, hutt hutt hutt, silliness demonstrates what is wrong with 'consultants' and how truly bonkers 'transferable skills' really are. Killing people is not the metaphor we require for the public or private sector. "Cover and move" is not the advice we require to manage regulators. How someone behaves in war should not be moved to peace time.
This silliness must stop. People who lead in the private and public sector are not hyper-masculine masters of the universe. Yawn. Don't take your leadership advice from the military. That's how we got into this capitalist excessiveness in the first place. We don't need 'war' to prove we are a 'man.'
And just a reminder - many of us are not men...
November 15, 2018
Their first book, Extreme Ownership, was excellent. Book two adds very little to the topics discussed in book one.
Honestly, book two could be boiled down to 2-3 chapters and simply included in the back of Extreme Ownership as a revised or deluxe edition
Honestly, book two could be boiled down to 2-3 chapters and simply included in the back of Extreme Ownership as a revised or deluxe edition
October 26, 2020
Audiobook grade: B-. I liked the author's own voices trading off. They have a very disciplined, clear militaristic way of speaking that is easy to listen to. The sound effects (machine guns, bombs) were cheesy.
The Good: I really liked the stories of the Iraq war as told by the two authors' first hand experience. The leadership and teamwork lessons learned in training and battle were outstanding. Jocko and Leif are amazing and unique humans. I could listen to their stories all day. They exude excellence and professionalism in all things. I thank them for their service to America, BTF style.
The Bad: The ham fisted "business application" sessions were totally unnecessary. The lessons and basic fundamentals from their initial book "Extreme Ownership" were already brightly illuminated by the field stories. Repeating them in a made up quasi-real business setting using tons of clunky corporate jargon was boring. Honestly, these application sections seemed like commercials for their consulting business. "Here's how we helped this super duper awesome All American tech company CFO kick ass with new spin-off software doubleplus growth." I'm sure they make crazy bank from rich executives who can afford to get close to a real life Navy SEAL. I'd want to do that, too, if I were that awesome.
The Ugly: Relating the lessons learned in war felt crass when wedged into the business environment, applied. I'm sorry if this is crass, too, but my observation is we have created a sad world if winning is defined by a middle manager playing Navy SEALs war fantasy to squeeze an extra 0.5 % quarterly profit from the mega call center staff in Omaha. Is this the Freedom these best and brightest fought for?
The Good: I really liked the stories of the Iraq war as told by the two authors' first hand experience. The leadership and teamwork lessons learned in training and battle were outstanding. Jocko and Leif are amazing and unique humans. I could listen to their stories all day. They exude excellence and professionalism in all things. I thank them for their service to America, BTF style.
The Bad: The ham fisted "business application" sessions were totally unnecessary. The lessons and basic fundamentals from their initial book "Extreme Ownership" were already brightly illuminated by the field stories. Repeating them in a made up quasi-real business setting using tons of clunky corporate jargon was boring. Honestly, these application sections seemed like commercials for their consulting business. "Here's how we helped this super duper awesome All American tech company CFO kick ass with new spin-off software doubleplus growth." I'm sure they make crazy bank from rich executives who can afford to get close to a real life Navy SEAL. I'd want to do that, too, if I were that awesome.
The Ugly: Relating the lessons learned in war felt crass when wedged into the business environment, applied. I'm sorry if this is crass, too, but my observation is we have created a sad world if winning is defined by a middle manager playing Navy SEALs war fantasy to squeeze an extra 0.5 % quarterly profit from the mega call center staff in Omaha. Is this the Freedom these best and brightest fought for?
April 3, 2019
SO GOOD!! I started reading this book as soon as I finished Extreme Ownership and even with as much as I loved Extreme Ownership, I LOVE THE DICHOTOMY EVEN MORE. I really appreciate the whole message of balance: balance in everything, especially the leadership traits and principles taught in this book. The only thing I think would have improved this book (and Extreme Ownership too) is to demonstrate application to other areas of life besides business. I know Jocko does a lot of business consultation but I would love to read how one would apply these principles to life, family relationships, teacher/student relationships, etc. But the book is still STRAIGHT FIRE even without that. GO READ THIS BOOK IT WILL BLOW UR MIND.
July 29, 2019
It's a very good book if you can somehow filter out all the American "pathos".
I've struggled with assessing "Extreme Ownsership", so how come this one is easier for me to evaluate? The answer is simple: what authors (Willink & Babin) call "dichotomy" I call "balance". And this idea fully resonates with myself - I truly believe that the real leadership is ALL about balance and not falling under any extremes. The book illustrates the idea in a very clear & straightforward way - starting with the actual "field of battle" examples & later mapping it onto more business-casual scenario.
Actual chapters (each illustrates a particular dichotomy) make a lot of sense, examples are crispy enough (so you get the idea of what authors want to emphasize) & somehow I got less annoyed by clear differences between "band of brothers-alike" soldier-specific situations & more typical, business commercial situations.
The end effect is one of the best leadership-related books I've read recently. Even with all these pathos I've already mentioned ;P
I've struggled with assessing "Extreme Ownsership", so how come this one is easier for me to evaluate? The answer is simple: what authors (Willink & Babin) call "dichotomy" I call "balance". And this idea fully resonates with myself - I truly believe that the real leadership is ALL about balance and not falling under any extremes. The book illustrates the idea in a very clear & straightforward way - starting with the actual "field of battle" examples & later mapping it onto more business-casual scenario.
Actual chapters (each illustrates a particular dichotomy) make a lot of sense, examples are crispy enough (so you get the idea of what authors want to emphasize) & somehow I got less annoyed by clear differences between "band of brothers-alike" soldier-specific situations & more typical, business commercial situations.
The end effect is one of the best leadership-related books I've read recently. Even with all these pathos I've already mentioned ;P
October 13, 2018
Jocko’s new book is a further explanation of extreme ownership. You should read extreme ownership first for full context.
It is easy to take leadership and self help books and dissect them until they don’t make sense anymore. As an author it is impossible to cover the unlimited possibilities of a subject as broad as leadership.
Readers of Extreme Ownership misinterpreted some of the key points in the book. Instead of being at an extreme of leadership you want to be in the middle of a dichotomy (don’t be a micro manager, but also don’t leave your subordinates to their own tasks all the time with no guidance / take interest in the lives of your employees but don’t let your friendship ruin the business etc)
Dichotomy of Leadership has made me see the world in dichotomies now. A friend of mine just went through an interview and complained about how the interviewer failed to keep the conversation flowing by bringing the conversation back to small technical details.
This made me consider the job of an interviewer - to vet a candidate with enough technical questions to see if they can handle the work while also carrying on a conversation with them to see if they will be a good cultural fit for the company. Too far to the extremes in either case would be bad. Not enough technical knowledge - employee will fail. Not a good cultural fit - the employee may be out of place or the culture may shift over time if enough of these employees are hired.
This is one example, but dichotomies are everywhere. This isn’t a groundbreaking idea - extreme things usually have extreme drawbacks, but it is interesting to think about and is a good response for people who wanted to nitpick the last book.
I’m a Jocko stan though so I was always going to like this book. It could have been a little shorter, and if you are not into war stories you won’t like the book.
It is easy to take leadership and self help books and dissect them until they don’t make sense anymore. As an author it is impossible to cover the unlimited possibilities of a subject as broad as leadership.
Readers of Extreme Ownership misinterpreted some of the key points in the book. Instead of being at an extreme of leadership you want to be in the middle of a dichotomy (don’t be a micro manager, but also don’t leave your subordinates to their own tasks all the time with no guidance / take interest in the lives of your employees but don’t let your friendship ruin the business etc)
Dichotomy of Leadership has made me see the world in dichotomies now. A friend of mine just went through an interview and complained about how the interviewer failed to keep the conversation flowing by bringing the conversation back to small technical details.
This made me consider the job of an interviewer - to vet a candidate with enough technical questions to see if they can handle the work while also carrying on a conversation with them to see if they will be a good cultural fit for the company. Too far to the extremes in either case would be bad. Not enough technical knowledge - employee will fail. Not a good cultural fit - the employee may be out of place or the culture may shift over time if enough of these employees are hired.
This is one example, but dichotomies are everywhere. This isn’t a groundbreaking idea - extreme things usually have extreme drawbacks, but it is interesting to think about and is a good response for people who wanted to nitpick the last book.
I’m a Jocko stan though so I was always going to like this book. It could have been a little shorter, and if you are not into war stories you won’t like the book.
April 20, 2021
This could have been a great book. It outlines some great principles of leadership with great battlefield examples and real world applications. It contains universal truths about humility, giving people authority and knowing when to step in. “We are not what we preach, but what we tolerate” - thinking hits the mail on the head.
The. It has some cringe worthy sections. The cherry on the pile has to be the section on how leadership is “winning at any cost”. Not only does it not make sense, it seems diminishes leadership to a will to win *at any cost*. Probably, shitty advice for military as well as corporate setting to begin with - and also not really a definition of leadership to begin with. Raising a character trait or motivation as leadership misses the mark and one starts to wonder if this is their true voice and the other sections were ghost written to begin with? Grit and perseverance are character traits or behaviors, hardly the definition of leadership.
... and while we are on it, wanting to win at any cost? Really, or was it just a great slogan that popped to mind? On has to question do you mean cost of life, cost to environment, cost to people, cost to morals, cost to integrity, trust, humanity? Winning isn’t everything. Unless it is to the author, in which case we are in a creepy space.
The. It has some cringe worthy sections. The cherry on the pile has to be the section on how leadership is “winning at any cost”. Not only does it not make sense, it seems diminishes leadership to a will to win *at any cost*. Probably, shitty advice for military as well as corporate setting to begin with - and also not really a definition of leadership to begin with. Raising a character trait or motivation as leadership misses the mark and one starts to wonder if this is their true voice and the other sections were ghost written to begin with? Grit and perseverance are character traits or behaviors, hardly the definition of leadership.
... and while we are on it, wanting to win at any cost? Really, or was it just a great slogan that popped to mind? On has to question do you mean cost of life, cost to environment, cost to people, cost to morals, cost to integrity, trust, humanity? Winning isn’t everything. Unless it is to the author, in which case we are in a creepy space.
October 4, 2018
I Loved Extreme Ownership, and I found I love The Dichotomy of Leadership even more. "The foremost requirement of potent leadership is humility." This is my favorite quote from the book, and is the theme that runs throughout. May this book engender a rising of truly powerful leaders who lead from such a powerful place as humility and integrity.
June 23, 2019
Jocko and Leif did it again. This book builds upon their other book, extreme ownership, and it’s similarly full of crap. There are plenty of books from which one can learn leadership, this is not one of them.
October 14, 2018
One of my favorite books. Concise stories and simple lessons of leadership.
March 13, 2020
If you’ve read and liked Extreme Ownership, you will also like this book. This book provides a more balanced view on the principles described in Extreme Ownership.
April 20, 2022
This is one of the better tactical leadership books that I have read recently. I am fascinated by the fact that these men lead some of the most elite operators in the world and yet the danger they face forces leadership decisions that are firm, easily understood, and simply stated for the most part. The whole book has the flavor of one of my favorite Frank Blake quotes, "always looking for simplicity on the other side of complexity". Here are several things that I particularly liked in the book.
- The book addresses the tension in many of the leadership principles that were laid out in Jocko's first book, and is the main theme of the book. This shows great humility on the authors' part and is a sign that they want people to really become better leaders.
- The stories of deployment in the middle east were interesting and kept the reader engaged.
- The book transitions nicely from military stories to discussion in principle to business application of the principle.
I have one very small objection to the book, but not enough to dock it a point. In the telling of some of the military stories on the audiobook, they added sounds of machine gun fire and explosives. This was startling and detracted from the book.
I am updating my methodology on reviewing non-fiction going forward and the rating will be based on the questions below. I hope it is helpful to others.
1. Is it good enough to read it again? It is good enough, and I would for re-read for reference in the future.
2. Would I recommend this to others? Definitely. It is a good field manual for leadership.
3. Am I smarter, better or wiser as a result of this book? Yes, I will be a better leader due to this book.
4. Was I entertained while reading this/it kept my attention? Yes
5. This book was just the right length? The length was quite good and never felt bogged down.
- The book addresses the tension in many of the leadership principles that were laid out in Jocko's first book, and is the main theme of the book. This shows great humility on the authors' part and is a sign that they want people to really become better leaders.
- The stories of deployment in the middle east were interesting and kept the reader engaged.
- The book transitions nicely from military stories to discussion in principle to business application of the principle.
I have one very small objection to the book, but not enough to dock it a point. In the telling of some of the military stories on the audiobook, they added sounds of machine gun fire and explosives. This was startling and detracted from the book.
I am updating my methodology on reviewing non-fiction going forward and the rating will be based on the questions below. I hope it is helpful to others.
1. Is it good enough to read it again? It is good enough, and I would for re-read for reference in the future.
2. Would I recommend this to others? Definitely. It is a good field manual for leadership.
3. Am I smarter, better or wiser as a result of this book? Yes, I will be a better leader due to this book.
4. Was I entertained while reading this/it kept my attention? Yes
5. This book was just the right length? The length was quite good and never felt bogged down.
February 2, 2022
Simple but not easy. This is a phrase that is repeated often during this book, and I think it sums up the book itself pretty well. If you’ve spent any time at all thinking about how to be a good leader, then nothing in this book will come as a surprise to you. It’s good advice, but nothing about it is particularly new or profound. Add to this the somewhat limited vocabulary and simplified, dry narratives (at least for the business sections) and the book starts to drag on a bit. I have the utmost respect for Jocko and Leif. Their accomplishments as Navy Seals and service and sacrifice for our country are commendable. But even as a male from Texas who is not afraid to hold a gun, I found their excessive use of words and phrases like baseline-aggressive, rapidly, destroy the enemy, and accomplish the mission to be a little much. A broader use of adjectives would’ve gone a long way to make this book more palatable.
Overall, the book is a good reminder of ideals to be striving for as a leader, but doesn’t offer much more than that in content.
Overall, the book is a good reminder of ideals to be striving for as a leader, but doesn’t offer much more than that in content.
July 14, 2019
I started this book hoping to use it in a leadership class for teens. I had heard great reviews. Although there were some great principles, I could not get past the authors’ depiction of their experiences in Iraq. As a teacher with students who fled from Iraq during the war, the authors’ portrayal seemed to dehumanize ALL Iraqis. I cannot see my students from the Middle East seeing past this to learn the leadership principles.
February 6, 2021
Read it in one day. It's simply the story of how the authors go about counseling based on their previous book. Each chapter gives an example of how a company failed to implement the concept of Extreme Ownership by overdoing it or coming short. Therein they find "dichotomy", but rectifiyng it doesn't really deliver new insights, rather another explanation of the same idea. Smart marketing, easy to write and to capitalize on, I guess.
September 9, 2021
Somewhat interesting war stories. Too much military jargon. Can be summarized in “Find the right balance between micromanaging and not managing at all” and “Training is important.”
January 1, 2025
Note: I wrote this book review for a training I am participating in.
The Dichotomy of Leadership was written by U.S. Navy SEALs Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. Previously, they wrote Extreme Ownership to prove how there are no bad teams, only bad leaders, and that each team player can take ownership of team results. In this book, however, they point out how it is possible to take too much ownership, to be too extreme. Rather, we should strive to be balanced leaders.
Dichotomy in the book title refers to two opposing extremes. Nearly every leadership quality has opposing extremes, and good leadership seeks to find the balance between them. The authors state,
“In most cases, rather than extremes, leadership requires balance.”
Following are several of the key balances from the book that I want to outline:
The Ultimate Dichotomy: Care for Individuals versus the Mission
The ultimate dichotomy a leader faces is balancing care for individuals team members with the need to send them into risks to accomplish the mission. Willink writes,
“A leader may have to send his most treasured asset—his people—into a situation that gets them wounded or killed. If his relationships are too close and he can’t detach from his emotions, he might not be able to make tough choices that involve risk to his men.”
While emotional closeness with the team and sending them into risk are opposed, I do not believe they are a dichotomy. We should be able to bond deeply with a team while still entering risk. At the same time, like Willink wrote, we need to be able to detach from our emotions and make hard decisions when needed for the good of the mission.
Micromanagement versus Hands-off Leadership
Some leaders are too hands off. They don’t give their teams specific direction. Consequently, team members do more than they are authorized to do. On the other hand, team members quickly become laid back and complacent. Because of this, leaders need to be involved closely with the team. At the same time, micromanagement is harmful to a team’s morale and overall effectiveness. Willink writes again,
“Micromanagement fails because no one person can control multiple people executing a vast number of actions in a dynamic environment, where changes in the situation occur rapidly and with unpredictability. It also inhibits the growth of subordinates: when people become accustomed to being told what to do, they begin to await direction. Initiative fades and eventually dies.”
Holding the Line versus Bending the Rules
A good leader needs to hold the line on things that matter. However, leaders should not become so rigid that they become overbearing. A leader has only so much “leadership capital,” or finite power. Sometimes they need to use their leadership capital to hold the line. But for insignificant things, they cannot afford to use their leadership capital. Instead, they need to bend the rules for things that really don’t matter. There is nothing honorable, either in the military or civilian life, to hold the line on every rule no matter the cost.
Aggressive versus Reckless
Many teams are in danger of becoming too risk averse. They are passive and do not grab momentum once they get it. In contrast, a good team takes initiative in an aggressive manner. This aggressiveness is not directed towards each other but towards opportunities.
While aggressiveness (or bold initiative to put it in more palatable language) is a positive trait, it is possible to become too aggressive. Good teams and leaders need to balance their initiative with “logic and detailed analysis of risk versus reward.” If they don’t do this, they risk taking too bold of risks and becoming reckless.
Leading versus Following
Leaders lead. At the same time, they need to be willing to follow the expertise and experience of others, even those under them. Some leaders, especially authoritarian ones, think that bending to the advice of those under them will weaken their leadership. However, this viewpoint is characteristic of a weak leader. In contrast, a strong leader doesn’t feel threatened by listening to and following the advice of those under them. When they do this well, it strengthens their leadership.
Under Planning versus Overplanning
Careful planning is critical to the success of all difficult missions. Without solid preparation, missions will fail. However, it is possible to over plan. Babin writes,
“You cannot plan for every contingency. If you try to create a solution for every single potential problem that might arise, you overwhelm your team, you overwhelm the planning process, you overcomplicate decisions for leaders. Therefore, it is imperative that leaders focus on only the most likely contingencies that might arise for each phase of an operation. Choose at most, the three or four most probable contingencies for each phase, along with the worst-case scenario. This will prepare the team to execute and increase the chances of mission success.”
Proud versus Passive
Babin writes that “humility is the most important quality in a leader.” However, it is possible to take humility to an unhealthy extreme of being passive. While a leader cannot be proud, they need to “be willing to push back, voice their concerns, stand up for the good of their team, and provide feedback up the chain against a direction or strategy they know will endanger the team or harm the strategic mission.”
In conclusion, I believe we all should strive for balanced leadership and teamwork. At the same time, focusing on balance can be dangerous. If we simply paint extremes on both sides of us to make us appear balanced, or if we avoid bold measures out of fear of imbalance, we risk becoming incompetent leaders. This again is another balance, one that is not mentioned in the book, but is a fundamental dichotomy.
The Dichotomy of Leadership was written by U.S. Navy SEALs Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. Previously, they wrote Extreme Ownership to prove how there are no bad teams, only bad leaders, and that each team player can take ownership of team results. In this book, however, they point out how it is possible to take too much ownership, to be too extreme. Rather, we should strive to be balanced leaders.
Dichotomy in the book title refers to two opposing extremes. Nearly every leadership quality has opposing extremes, and good leadership seeks to find the balance between them. The authors state,
“In most cases, rather than extremes, leadership requires balance.”
Following are several of the key balances from the book that I want to outline:
The Ultimate Dichotomy: Care for Individuals versus the Mission
The ultimate dichotomy a leader faces is balancing care for individuals team members with the need to send them into risks to accomplish the mission. Willink writes,
“A leader may have to send his most treasured asset—his people—into a situation that gets them wounded or killed. If his relationships are too close and he can’t detach from his emotions, he might not be able to make tough choices that involve risk to his men.”
While emotional closeness with the team and sending them into risk are opposed, I do not believe they are a dichotomy. We should be able to bond deeply with a team while still entering risk. At the same time, like Willink wrote, we need to be able to detach from our emotions and make hard decisions when needed for the good of the mission.
Micromanagement versus Hands-off Leadership
Some leaders are too hands off. They don’t give their teams specific direction. Consequently, team members do more than they are authorized to do. On the other hand, team members quickly become laid back and complacent. Because of this, leaders need to be involved closely with the team. At the same time, micromanagement is harmful to a team’s morale and overall effectiveness. Willink writes again,
“Micromanagement fails because no one person can control multiple people executing a vast number of actions in a dynamic environment, where changes in the situation occur rapidly and with unpredictability. It also inhibits the growth of subordinates: when people become accustomed to being told what to do, they begin to await direction. Initiative fades and eventually dies.”
Holding the Line versus Bending the Rules
A good leader needs to hold the line on things that matter. However, leaders should not become so rigid that they become overbearing. A leader has only so much “leadership capital,” or finite power. Sometimes they need to use their leadership capital to hold the line. But for insignificant things, they cannot afford to use their leadership capital. Instead, they need to bend the rules for things that really don’t matter. There is nothing honorable, either in the military or civilian life, to hold the line on every rule no matter the cost.
Aggressive versus Reckless
Many teams are in danger of becoming too risk averse. They are passive and do not grab momentum once they get it. In contrast, a good team takes initiative in an aggressive manner. This aggressiveness is not directed towards each other but towards opportunities.
While aggressiveness (or bold initiative to put it in more palatable language) is a positive trait, it is possible to become too aggressive. Good teams and leaders need to balance their initiative with “logic and detailed analysis of risk versus reward.” If they don’t do this, they risk taking too bold of risks and becoming reckless.
Leading versus Following
Leaders lead. At the same time, they need to be willing to follow the expertise and experience of others, even those under them. Some leaders, especially authoritarian ones, think that bending to the advice of those under them will weaken their leadership. However, this viewpoint is characteristic of a weak leader. In contrast, a strong leader doesn’t feel threatened by listening to and following the advice of those under them. When they do this well, it strengthens their leadership.
Under Planning versus Overplanning
Careful planning is critical to the success of all difficult missions. Without solid preparation, missions will fail. However, it is possible to over plan. Babin writes,
“You cannot plan for every contingency. If you try to create a solution for every single potential problem that might arise, you overwhelm your team, you overwhelm the planning process, you overcomplicate decisions for leaders. Therefore, it is imperative that leaders focus on only the most likely contingencies that might arise for each phase of an operation. Choose at most, the three or four most probable contingencies for each phase, along with the worst-case scenario. This will prepare the team to execute and increase the chances of mission success.”
Proud versus Passive
Babin writes that “humility is the most important quality in a leader.” However, it is possible to take humility to an unhealthy extreme of being passive. While a leader cannot be proud, they need to “be willing to push back, voice their concerns, stand up for the good of their team, and provide feedback up the chain against a direction or strategy they know will endanger the team or harm the strategic mission.”
In conclusion, I believe we all should strive for balanced leadership and teamwork. At the same time, focusing on balance can be dangerous. If we simply paint extremes on both sides of us to make us appear balanced, or if we avoid bold measures out of fear of imbalance, we risk becoming incompetent leaders. This again is another balance, one that is not mentioned in the book, but is a fundamental dichotomy.
November 23, 2024
This book was largely the same as its predecessor, Extreme Ownership. Each chapter is formatted the same way, with a military story, followed by the principle of the chapter simply explained, and then another story of how it was applied to a business. I thought the advice given in here was still very interesting and applicable. Funnily enough, almost every chapter in this book seemed to be in reference to how a chapter in the previous one may be taken too far. Willink and Babin on multiple occasions reference a chapter from Extreme Ownership and explain how there is a need for balance, even with the extreme. This really made the book feel more like a revised version of the first one, but I still enjoyed it all the same.
January 23, 2024
A balanced counterpart to his earlier book Extreme Ownership - I re-read these books once every year or so as they are brilliant.
Good men take ownership/responsibility for everything God blesses them with. These books continue to help me realise that there is more around me I can take responsibility for and gives very practical tools for doing so well.
Highly recommend especially for men, but my wife loved it too.
Good men take ownership/responsibility for everything God blesses them with. These books continue to help me realise that there is more around me I can take responsibility for and gives very practical tools for doing so well.
Highly recommend especially for men, but my wife loved it too.
May 22, 2024
Similar to Extreme Ownership, their first book, however I think the themes and real life examples from war are essential to hear with repetition. In this book, they did get into more of the nuances of leadership and the potential pitfalls if you’re not balanced.
January 24, 2025
Good book on leadership. Nothing groundbreaking, but I loved his insight that the most common reason for demoting a Seal leader was due to lack of humility. That’s a good reason for disqualification as a leader!
May 12, 2024
This is a continuation of their previous book Extreme leadership. It has the same layout with new lessons to learn and apply in your working life.
September 5, 2024
I think I would enjoy taking a class with this book as its textbook. There were certainly principles I read about that applied to leadership situations I’ve been in and some I hope to be in later in my career. Its prose was a bit repetitive at times and I did not enjoy the military perspective. Just not my cup of tea. Though I will take some of its teachings with me for life
December 2, 2019
Extension of Extreme ownership. Good lessons, but too much fluff and repetition.
Take extreme ownership over everything in your world including leadership in balance.
Q:
Own It All, but Empower Others
Resolute, but Not Overbearing
When to Mentor, When to Fire
Train Hard, but Train Smart
Aggressive, Not Reckless
Disciplined, Not Rigid
Hold People Accountable, but Don’t Hold Their Hands
A Leader and a Follower
Plan, but Don’t Overplan
Humble, Not Passive
Focused, but Detached
"To care deeply for each individual member of the team, well at the same time accepting the risks necessary to accomplish the mission... A leader must recognize that there is a job to do."
"Supply a better understanding of why. Use accountability as a tool when needed, but don't rely on it as the sole means of enforcement. A reliance on heavy accountability consumes the time and focus of the leader and inhibits the trust, growth, and development of the subordinates. Instead, balance accountability with educating the team and empowering the members to maintain standards even without direct oversight from the top. "
“As a leader, you have to balance the dichotomy, to be resolute where it matters but never inflexible and uncompromising on matters of little importance to the overall good of the team and the strategic mission.”
"Leaders must be willing to listen and follow others, regardless if they are junior or less experienced... Confident leaders encourage junior members of the team to step up and lead when they put forth ideas that will contribute to mission success." Use the most effective manner possible.
“So as a leader it is critical to balance the strict discipline of standard procedures with the freedom to adapt, adjust, and manoeuvre to do what is best to support the overarching commander's intent and achieve victory. For leaders, in combat, business, and life, be disciplined, but not rigid.”
Take extreme ownership over everything in your world including leadership in balance.
Q:
Own It All, but Empower Others
Resolute, but Not Overbearing
When to Mentor, When to Fire
Train Hard, but Train Smart
Aggressive, Not Reckless
Disciplined, Not Rigid
Hold People Accountable, but Don’t Hold Their Hands
A Leader and a Follower
Plan, but Don’t Overplan
Humble, Not Passive
Focused, but Detached
"To care deeply for each individual member of the team, well at the same time accepting the risks necessary to accomplish the mission... A leader must recognize that there is a job to do."
"Supply a better understanding of why. Use accountability as a tool when needed, but don't rely on it as the sole means of enforcement. A reliance on heavy accountability consumes the time and focus of the leader and inhibits the trust, growth, and development of the subordinates. Instead, balance accountability with educating the team and empowering the members to maintain standards even without direct oversight from the top. "
“As a leader, you have to balance the dichotomy, to be resolute where it matters but never inflexible and uncompromising on matters of little importance to the overall good of the team and the strategic mission.”
"Leaders must be willing to listen and follow others, regardless if they are junior or less experienced... Confident leaders encourage junior members of the team to step up and lead when they put forth ideas that will contribute to mission success." Use the most effective manner possible.
“So as a leader it is critical to balance the strict discipline of standard procedures with the freedom to adapt, adjust, and manoeuvre to do what is best to support the overarching commander's intent and achieve victory. For leaders, in combat, business, and life, be disciplined, but not rigid.”
August 29, 2020
If you’re going to read one of those repetitive leadership books, at least do it in grand-style with a book featuring cool war stories in Iraq. A couple of years ago I decided not to read leadership books anymore unless they offered something really distinctive relative to similar literature on the subject. This book goes into detail on how leadership is developed in SEAL training, which is interesting enough for me. There are 12 different chapters diving into 12 different aspects of leadership under a similar structure: an awesome Iraq war story, followed by the lessons and principles behind the story, and concluding with an actual application for business. Even though most chapters don’t have an extremely surprising lesson (seriously, do you really need to tell us that we have to balance between delegation and micromanaging?), some of them have interesting nuggets that are worth the whole book. Eg. why it’s important to seek the same relationship with every boss you ever work for, no matter if they are good or bad. Among the war stories, the routines and training of SEAL teams and leadership lessons, this book has something interesting for almost everyone, even though it can’t be perfect like most books of this genre.
January 13, 2020
Giving this a five because of how much I enjoy Jocko's work. This book starts a bit slow and repetitive if you've read or listened to his other content. I was concerned that this was all going to be a rehash. However, we quickly move past the section on the soldiers that he lost that have impacted his life so much to the core content of the book. This is a book about finding balance with war and business examples to explain. It's positioned as a follow-up dive to extreme ownership and that's exactly what it is. You should certainly reach the other book first and only reach for this if you want more. I really enjoyed reading this and thinking through the examples.
I know some folks have a hard time with the macho war aspects of these books. I don't. Whatever you think of war, it's certainly the highest-stakes pressure cooker of an environment that one can experience. Having examples from that environment that graph back to the business world I find engaging and helpful. If you aren't so fond of these you should probably skip the book altogether, but the intro and outro will be particularly challenging.
I know some folks have a hard time with the macho war aspects of these books. I don't. Whatever you think of war, it's certainly the highest-stakes pressure cooker of an environment that one can experience. Having examples from that environment that graph back to the business world I find engaging and helpful. If you aren't so fond of these you should probably skip the book altogether, but the intro and outro will be particularly challenging.
June 29, 2019
If you’re a fan of Jocko you might as well save yourself the time and just get into it. It serves as a great read much in the vein of Extreme Ownership. But with that said, the book can be summed up all too quickly in one sentence:
Leadership is about finding a balance between extremes across all aspects and all situations.
Or something of a similar sort.
Now that’s not to take anything away from it as a whole, but the reality is it doesn’t carry the same impact of his first book. Like most sequels it’s an extension of the original, and while it can be read as a stand alone, it’s simply not as effective in that regard either.
Leadership is about finding a balance between extremes across all aspects and all situations.
Or something of a similar sort.
Now that’s not to take anything away from it as a whole, but the reality is it doesn’t carry the same impact of his first book. Like most sequels it’s an extension of the original, and while it can be read as a stand alone, it’s simply not as effective in that regard either.
February 27, 2021
While this book is better than Extreme Ownership it is still bad. In the forward they explain that there was a problem with how they wrote Extreme Ownership and so this is the follow up to more fully explain the concept but also how to balance as a leader. But, throughout the book they keep referring to the other book as if they're still defending it. There are just so many better leadership books to read.
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