Graceful Exits: How Great Beings Die

by Sushila Blackman (Editor)

Death is a subject obscured by fear and denial. When we do think of dying, we are more often concerned with how to avoid the pain and suffering that may accompany our death than we are with really confronting the meaning of death and how to approach it. Sushila Blackman places death—and life—in a truer perspective, by telling us of others who have left this world with dignity.

Graceful Exits offers valuable guidance in the form of 108 stories recounting the ways in which Hindu, Tibetan Buddhist, and Zen masters, both ancient and modern, have confronted their own deaths. By directly presenting the grace, clarity, and even humor with which great spiritual teachers have met the end of their days, Blackman provides inspiration and nourishment to anyone truly concerned with the fundamental issues of life and death.

Genres: Death, Buddhism, Spirituality, Nonfiction, Hinduism

160 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 1997

Reviews

[david · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quite similar to how 'not great beings' die.

[Terre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful and calming to my soul. This is the most uplifting book about death, compiled by and with an afterword from Sushi Blackman, who herself was unknowingly dying with metastatic lung cancer during much of the work of completing this book, that I have ever read. Since I have become somewhat of an expert in loss in the last four years, reading pretty much whatever I can get my hands on concerning death/dying/grief, this is no small statement.
Is this a book for everyone? I'd like to think so. However, those with a Christian bent who do not or cannot respect and value the Eastern mind, probably would not be able to benefit from reading this unless they have the power of an open mind.
In this time we live, and die, we still have our feet planted on earth, which we are killing as well. So I read this as an elegy to humankind and her planet as well.

[Tiffany · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is impossible to rate this book. As you can tell from the book's description it is a collection of famous death scenes turned into stories. It is written from the point of someone who is far from objective: the author is dying. When people are dying they have an interest in making of death a meritorious event. And it is well written.

This is why you should read this book: because here in the Judeo-Christian west we are so terrified of death that we either shun it or make up scary stories about it. In other (non-western European) cultural traditions death is a status change that merits honor and positive attention. There is a venerable tradition in many Asian cultures that transfers positive life merits to mortal experiences. For example we have all heard the one about Confucius being received into the afterlife by the King of Heaven himself. People who have seen Tutankhamun's sumptuous funerary goods realize that death in other cultures is an event of transition. My point is that Westerners caught between Eternalism and Nihilism need to learn that death doesn't have to be considered only sacred or profane.

In the 20th century there were a lot of Westerners who started following Eastern gurus. We are a funny bunch--either raised in a world where there is no afterlife (Judaism) or where most of life is spent preparing for a heavenly afterlife (Christianity & Islam). We are biased observers of Eastern death rituals. The question is: can we understand Eastern concepts straddling the twain? Most of these experiences I have read suffer from a gullibility that falls somewhere between cultural naïvité and outright fabulism. Sogyal Rinpoche has a lot to apologize for. His Tibetan Book of living and Dying raised the death experience bar high. On his heels, Ms. Blackman laudibly skirts an annoying attachment to sacredness while carefully avoiding that odiferous sacrosanctity that plagues so many other Western authors writing about Eastern philosophy.

After writing this review I realized that I can not avoid falling into the duality that I so clearly deplore. Many apologies.

[Tim · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is not coincidence that I am reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying at the same time that I read Graceful Exits. The comparison inevitably colors my review. Both books share the premise that Westerners either deny death by pretending it does not exist until it intrudes directly in our lives, or we minimize it by thinking, "everything will work out." Both books make the case that by embracing death as an inevitable and natural transition to another state, we live our lives more fully and spiritually. For Graceful Exits, this view is a set up to introduce 108 stories about the deaths of Eastern Spiritual masters, and finally the author's own death after the book was written. The stories are moving and interesting, but in fundamental ways they are so similar that I felt it was a good concept taken too far. I will review the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying when I finish it, but I can already say that by addressing in depth the question of how we should live in order to overcome the fear of death, it is a better choice.

[Saiisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's a famous Gandhi quote that goes: "My life is my message." We could just as easily say, his death was as powerful a message - when he was shot pointblank by Godse, his last words were "Hey Ram," remembering his beloved Rama.

Sushila Blackman's Graceful Exits is a compilation of how great souls teach through their deaths. The Eastern traditions teach that death is an important transition to afterlife or enlightenment, and those last moments matter a lot, however one can't decide to die a certain way when the time comes - how we live every moment is how we die at the last moment. So how these great souls died is an indication of how they lived. I also appreciated the introduction chapter about Hindu, Buddhist, Zen and Sufi beliefs around death, reincarnation and enlightenment.

What made this book more poignant for me was the afterword by the author that she was diagnosed by lung cancer while she was compiling this book, and how meditating on the death of these great souls, and on her own death, were practices that helped her through her own transition.

[Steve Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all gotta go some day . . . It was cool reading about how the 'masters' prepared to leave this world.

[Pri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is brilliant. It’s filled with brief accounts of sages and saints passing (or so it seems, because “the soul is eternal”). It doesn’t reveal anything beyond the ordinary, and it doesn’t aim to, but it still hits home. It’s simple, straightforward, and comforting.

Out of 108, at least one story will stick with every reader and guide them when needed. Some of the last statements or incidents are cryptic and laden with hidden meaning, which you can only get if you’re actively practicing spirituality. I guess it’s the best read for whenever you feel your arrogance rising and humility crumbling. It puts you in your place. For anyone suffering and aiming to pass peacefully, it assures that you’ll still live on. You’re a soul in a body, not a body with a soul, to put it simply. You just get off this chariot when the curtains come to a close (if that makes sense).

Besides, the concept of “memento mori” will organically become a part of you as you delve into each account. At least, that’s what I felt. Very heartwarming.

Lastly, everything is energy. Thinking, reading, talking, and pondering about something is giving it energy. Reading about so many enlightened beings over and over again felt like a cleansing experience. I could feel the presence of some of them around me at times and experience the stillness come to the fore instantly—experiences I wouldn’t trade for anything.

[Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of 108 (A sacred number in buddhism) stories of masters facing their moment of death. Some of the stories are short a few cover a page or two. Each story is unique but all have common themes. These masters confronted their death with utter fearlessness with some controlling the actual moment of their death right down to their last breathe. Some of the tales are simple, others are profound with lots of details (especially the modern ones). The lesson that this book teaches is that we need to be mindful everyday of our own impending death and in that way we will not be anxious we the time comes. A interesting book to read for someone beginning to show interest in Buddhism or Eastern religion.

[Hossain Salahuddin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compassionate and enlightening exploration of death through the lens of spiritual masters from various traditions. Drawing on the stories of enlightened individuals, the book offers profound teachings on acceptance, impermanence, and the transformative power of death.

It is worth mentioning that Sushila Blackman, the author, passed away shortly after completing the book. Despite her own impending mortality, Blackman's insights and teachings stand as a testament to her wisdom and compassion, offering a lasting tribute to her contributions in the exploration of life's most profound mystery.

[Marina Quattrocchi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating book about true Masters in the Hindu, Tibetan, Buddhist and Zen tradition who knew with great clarity the exact day of their death, prepared for it gracefully, prepared their students and disciples beforehand, and existed seamlessly and quickly often sitting while meditating. After reading all 108 examples one realizes that although this seems almost impossible in the Western world, exiting gracefully is indeed possible if one leads a good life, and meditates daily.

[Aljosa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful little book which, through death stories of great spiritual masters mainly from Buddhist and Hindu lineages, inspires confidence and acceptance that death is a completely natural process inseparable from life, and that death is not the final chapter of our journey. It serves as a good reminder of the only constant in the universe — change / impermanence. I wish some of the stories were a bit longer and were given a bit broader context or background of a person's life.

[Neeli · Rating 4 out of 5]

An unusual collection of death stories from four of the world's major religions. I found her notes on the different Masters, the religions that that they followed and the sources that were used to compile this book to be both fascinating and useful for further research.

[Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bunch of Eastern death stories. Fairly repetitive, and not a topic I'm particularly interested in (Eastern mysticism; particularly the historical stories of how wonderfully devoted random people have been, particularly through unreliable accounts passed down.)

[Drew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple, sweet, kinda repetitive... If you are into eastern religion and enjoy thinking about death, this is an interesting compilation of stories. Nothing in here that is particularly profound about death or the dying process, but it is a nice read.

[Ward Hammond · Rating 5 out of 5]

Over 100 inspiring stories. I highly recommend it.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very peaceful book with nice tidbits of wisdom regarding how to approach life and death. A book to take your time with. Meant for contemplation.

[India · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some interesting bits, a lovely collection, but mostly I felt myself wanting more elaboration on each story.

[Akalay Otmane · Rating 5 out of 5]

If one wants to die peacefully,
one must begin helping oneself
long before one's time to die has come.

[Kevin McAvoy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting collection.
Somebody had to do it.
Inspiring exits that left everyone impressed.

[Mireia Cuesta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy to read and interesting teachings about death that would make you think. 🙏🏻

[Stuart · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice collection of the "death stories" of well known teachers of numerous eastern disciplines. Buddhist, Hindu, Tibetian "masters" (among others) and the manner in which they each faced the process of their own death are described. Fairly consistantly these stories are of masters who recently died; "...their actual death experiences..." (p.23) are given. These stories are thankfully not simply retold stories of legends from eons now "long ago".

This book describes the Gurus, Swamis, Lamis, Rinpoches and masters deaths with earnestness, humor and reflection. Their respective original sources of the stories are cited. Pictures of many of these deceased masters are often provided.

One drawback though perhaps necessary (?) the editor intertwines the four main traditions being described and explains their core philosophies/principles concerning death. Such descriptions seemed completely unnecessary. Karma and Rebirth, Enlightenment, Final thoughts, leaving the body, spiritual practice after death are ideas, beliefs which the reader will likely be well familiar.
Wanted solely are the stories themselves, not the philosophical underpinnings for them.

A collection of western themed "masters" would be a nice potential work in the future.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A POWERFUL RESOURCE FOR ALL OF US WHO MUST DIE

This powerful book tells the death stories of 108 Eastern spiritual masters. Eastern religions believe one's state of being at the time of death influences or determines one's progress after death. Sushila Blackman began to compile these stories without really knowing why. A trip to the hospital for chest pain revealed she had terminal lung cancer: the book was in fact part of her preparation for her own conscious death. A magnificent book compiled by a magnificent person.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of stories about the way historical and contemporary masters from Hindu, Zen, Buddhist, Sufi traditions have died - all very intriguing and inspiring. I which the selections had been written all in one neutral voice instead they are excerpted from other books which makes the reading uneven. The postscript account of how and why the author compiled these tales is the most intimate and moving of all.

[D · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was surprised at the number of so-so reviews so I'll suggest you'll likely want at least bit of Buddhism background to appreciate this intriguing book... or be over 75 ...or have some other reason for expecting your own death. If you think of quitting mid-way, read the "Afterward" before deciding to send it back to the library.

(Dates for the teachers are in the back... " Masters and Sources... I found myself looking up dates and needn't have.)

[Ceci · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of the death stories of Hindu, Zen, and Tibetan Buddhist masters was edited, by my late friend Sushila Blackman, who died shortly before its publication. Every story is a precious teaching on what it looks like to have a good death, in which the moments of leave-taking are a profound support for those who remain. May all who read this book experience the blessings of these extraordinary teachers in full measure.

[Truejabber · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not much to learn from this book. Or maybe there is if you happen to be an enlightened being, which I am not. While the more miraculous descriptions seemed folkloric and unnecessary, there was some good stuff here and there in how death is viewed and approached by those who see reality more clearly than most.

[Mridul Singhai · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reinforces the fact that everyone has to ultimately die. Although you can be remembered by your deeds but your soul has to leave this world. There are still biases on the theory about reincarnation but this book is not about that.

A must-read for anyone who's gives a darn about spirituality.

[Micmoc · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do spiritual men die? This book contains a few answers. Tender and uplifting.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book discusses the deaths of great beings in buddhist and hindu traditions. It offers a welcome light, sometimes funny, view of death, as some monks make jokes or recite poetry as they die.

[Ken · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting although I would have liked a bit more than the final words of these people prior to death.