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305 pages, Paperback
First published May 8, 2018
Nobody has ever been so invested in me making good on whatever raw talent I once possessed - not even my parents, for their love was always unconditional. Yours came with strings attached.
You see, Vita, talented people like you and Kitty have always needed people like me, benefactors of one kind or another... But what you might not know is that we have always needed you too. Status is linked to art and intellect...
Contact should never be confused with comprehension.
A confessional style of filmmaking was ascendant. It was the dawn of the age of baring it all. I liked my classmates’ work but I felt an ethical obligation to leave myself out of my films.
A person's pattern of ethical thinking is similar to muscle memory, and seems natural only because it's so often reiterated. My father's circular self-blame scared me. In it I heard echoes of my own guilt, but whereas his had been earned through long experience, mine felt like insincere parroting of beliefs I'd picked up from him...
It occurred to me that I had left the country at the worst possible age, neither child nor woman, still tentative in my new friendships with the black girls at my recently desegregated school, caught up in the wave of pride in becoming poster children of tolerance and amity, but without time to normalise those relationships, to get beyond the symbolism.
You can always tell a Harvard Man. But you can't tell him much.. But his childhood was not without challenges: as a child Royce had the misfortune to watch from the base lodge as his mother died while trying to be the first woman to climb the Eiger. And as an adult he will see his life-love also fall off a mountain.
I will never forget the look on Kitty's face on hearing her name spoken at the summit by a man who loved her. The wrong man. It was her faithless fear of me that made the ground fall away under her feetRoyce had lost both his mother and his wished-for lover in mountain accidents.
Your side of the family have the opposite of a chip on their shoulders . . . it's more like you've got a big vulture sitting there, pecking you every time you forget about your skin colour.Her life has been a trip through racial guilt: she was born and raised in South Africa, where she saw blacks ghettoized by apartheid; then she moved to Australia where the aborigines were neglected and whites were supreme; finally she moved to the U, S. where . . . well, you get it! Vita had hit the trifecta of racism!
During the acrobatics (it was a small room) I sat on the keyboard, and the flesh of my arse somehow picked out the exact command to delete the film from the hard drive. And do you know how I felt? In the face of the destruction of a creative work you've felt ambivalent towards, there is only relief.Vita graduated in 2003 and immediately relocated to Cape Town, South Africa, land of her youth. But, as Thomas Wolfe tells us, You Can't Go Home Again. Since 1994 South Africa had been integrated and now her peers traveled in close-knit multiracial groups. But for Vita, South Africa is now an alien land—a better land, perhaps, but not hers!
The filmmaker had found the right balance between saying something and saying nothing at all.And suddenly you realize that the author is describing this book—it's like a loosely-woven tapestry, beautifully organized with exquisite colors but with images so fuzzy and imprecise that you can make of it what you will. It's rich and literate, but what is it really about?