I received this book in return for an honest review by the author and, I will admit, that, I began the book feeling very sceptical of its informal tone and structure. However, the book’s introduction excellently explains Riva’s deliberate use of informality: she is not a scientist, nor is she a psychologist, and this is not a typical ‘self-help’ book. Instead, the book is intended to be a series of tips and tried-and-tested solutions to feelings of unhappiness, written from one sufferer to another, as a friend. And as a unique piece of non-fiction, I feel that the books succeeds in its aims.
Once Riva establishes her aims, the informal tone makes perfect sense. As the book develops, in fact, it begins to feel more and more appropriate. Unlike other ‘self-help’ books, the lack of science or formal research makes the text accessible and more likely to have an impact on its reader, and the content is similarly straightforward. Riva accepts that unhappiness often generates from small incidents, and as such does not seek to ‘fix’ life’s big problems. Instead of dealing with life-altering issues, such as grieving or mortality, she uses everyday examples that can cause unhappiness (such as, how do you stop yourself writing off a whole day as ‘bad’ when you’ve had a bad morning? How do you stop unhappiness at its root after waking up late or being stuck in traffic?). She then suggests realistic alternate reactions that a reader could practice. Her solutions are simple, and wonderful in their simplicity. In this way, her book bypasses the over-complicated and scientific approach of most ‘self-help’ books and looks at the minutia of happier thinking.
My favourite section of the book was her chapter on ‘kindness’, in which she acknowledges that being kind to others will not ‘change the world’ but can change ‘our immediate world’. Most importantly, she reminds the reader to be kind ‘to ourselves’, and to treat ourselves with the same sympathy we would give to a friend in a hard time:
‘You are your own friend so remind yourself of that in such situations… Happier thinking goes hand in hand with kindness. Kindness to all including yourself’
She suggests that small changes to everyday thinking is the solution to most unhappy thoughts, and nicely rounds off each chapter with a philosophical ‘summing up’ quote that could easily become a book of their own.
The physical book is beautifully appropriate to its content; it is a calming, soothing colour and is small enough to make it portable. It could easily be kept on your person and pulled out when you feel the day beginning to unravel.
The one thing that I think could have improved the book would be the inclusion of more active suggested techniques. For example, the suggestion that an ‘unhappy thinker’ might keep a journal, and write each day 5 things that have been good about the day despite its difficulties, was brilliant. If each chapter had a section like this, with a physical technique opposed to a consideration, I think it would more easily be suitable to a ‘self-help’ genre.
Overall, I think that the book is a perfect guide to combatting low-levels of unhappy thinking. Whether these techniques work I will have to leave to other reviewers/readers who can more closely relate to the content of the book. However, for me, the inclusion of the introduction (where Riva outlines her aims) perfectly justifies her informal and unique form and structure. This book could be the friendly ‘self-help’ guide that the market didn’t know that it needed.
For this reason, I have awarded it 4/5*.