Escaping the Emotional Roller Coaster: ACT for the Emotionally Sensitive

by Patricia Zurita Ona

If you have ever been told that you’re ‘too sensitive’; if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions - as if they’re controlling you and you can’t seem to dial them back; if you’ve ever reacted in a way that you’ve later regretted, but you simply couldn’t stop yourself at the time; or if you simply struggle to understand why you’re feeling the way you are, then this is the book you’ve been waiting for. Drawing on her years of experience as a clinical psychologist, Dr Zurita Ona provides a clear and simple road map for every ‘super-feeler’ on how to avoid being hijacked by your emotions. Using the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) as well as aspects of positive psychology, you will learn how to distinguish between emotion-based behavior and values-based behavior so that you can step back from an uncontrolled emotional response and instead choose a more appropriate one. The result is an effective way to combat the feelings of loneliness and fear of abandonment so many super-feelers experience, as you learn to build and maintain strong healthy relationships, and to look within to identify sources of pain and struggle rather than placing outward blame. Along the way, you will become adept at skills such as self-acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, mindfulness, and conflict resolution. In the end, super-feelers will discover the truth that they are more than their emotions, and that no matter how intense the situation, they can always choose to act in a way that is consistent with their personal values, in order to experience fulfilling, loving and caring relationships.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health

248 pages, Paperback

Published August 7, 2018

Reviews

[Summer Petersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like a reliable friend who can give you great practical advice.
I read a lot of self-help/psychology books and this is one of the best ones I've ever read. People have told me my entire life, even when I was a child, that I'm way too sensitive and that I take things too personally. I want to know what to do about this to improve my relationships with people because often you may feel like people are going out of their way being jerks on purpose. Maybe you feel that no one takes the time to understand why you're upset a lot when you really try and don't get the results from interactions that you want, it gets pretty dang lonely! But you can't say that to people, because they shut down and won't communicate with you. Many self-help books spend a lot of time explaining WHY your are like this but don't say much about how to make changes beside "you need to love yourself more!" or "don't be so hard on yourself! accept yourself" which is not very practical advice in the day to day, immediate-needs.
I've noticed that the most accessible help-yourself books strike a conversational tone with the writing, and Dr. Zurita-Ona writes intelligent, comprehensive text that is easy to understand and apply to your life, without talking down or dumbing down. While I sometimes enjoy reading academic-tone writings, if I need some personal or relationship help, I want it as quickly as possible in a structure that I understand; I want efficiency in delivery. Reading this book, it's like having a conversation with a friend about difficult emotional experiences, and you can tell by talking with them that they totally get it, they understand what you are going through, and can give you simple steps on how to break things down into a few separate categories, look at your thinking and feeling process, and make adjustments that are useful and practical, without having to be fake or phony. This is a key thing, you can't really ask other people how you are supposed to handle personal problems, because each person has a unique set of values, and you need to define those for yourself and then use that as a template for how to communicate what is important to you, and have those conversations with other people when you are feeling conflict. She also has great workbook pages at the end of book sections, to learn good processes for being calm, which is great if you feel constantly defensive about having hurt feelings. I can't recommend this book enough, for both very-emotional people, and people who want to improve their communications and understand with the very-sensitive people they love. 5 stars! I got a limited-time look at an advanced copy gratis and I'm going to purchase a hard copy and keep it for reference. I like it that much. I feel kind of lucky I came across something so useful to me. Grateful, and thank you!

Amazon Review ID: M Arcade

[Lorena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Zurita Ona is a licensed clinical psychologist and practicing behavioral psychotherapist. In Escaping The Emotional Roller Coaster, she teaches readers how to act based on their values rather than reacting based on emotions that may feel overwhelming.

I found this book very practical and much easier to understand than some of the other books I’ve read on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Dr. Z writes in a friendly, compassionate tone using lots of examples from people she has worked with.

Although she discusses “super-feelers” who have trouble with emotional regulation and never mentions personality disorders, based on the extremity of the examples provided, I suspect this book may have been intended for those with Cluster B personality disorders. I have a family member with Borderline Personality Disorder, and I think this book could really help her if she would read it.

In the appendix, the author very briefly discusses some problems, such as eating disorders, substance abuse, or suicidal ideation, that are beyond the scope of the book and mentions some recommended reading on those topics. She also includes a reference list and index, and the URL for her website, which has further resources.

I was provided an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.

[Morgan Rondinelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for a review.

I came to this book from an interesting perspective as a super-feeler having already been through therapy including ACT, CBT, and primarily DBT. Overall, I found this to be a useful guide to first learning about ACT and some tools for managing emotions. Surprisingly, there is a lot of overlap between ACT and DBT when it comes to mindfulness of thoughts, opposite action, interpersonal skills, etc. just with different names. I think I am still biased towards the framework and explanations of DBT. Nonetheless, I could see ACT and this book being very helpful as a starter for someone looking for help.
Overall, I found the writing style easy to understand and fun at times. Chapter 35 was my favorite by far though because it felt much more personal and a little less like an instructional manual. I wish there had been more examples from Dr. Z's life of skill usage.
Lastly, I wondered why BPD wasn't mentioned. Perhaps, that's just because that's my diagnosis as a super-feeler and the author wanted to remain more generic, but it was a question I had.

[Leann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect example of the way self-help books should be. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟These are strong words but this is a strong book. One of the frequent gripes I hear from folks is that self-help books aren't all that helpful. This book - Escaping the Emotional Roller Coaster - ACT for the Emotionally Sensitive by Dr Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr Z) - is the new model I hope every author follows. Not only is her book grounded in science (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) but she's funny, smart, and has a wonderfully reassuring voice. She does what I wish every author would do: she includes plenty of quotes, examples, and scenarios so that you can understand what you're supposed to *do* with all of the information in this book. I wouldn't limit this one to just super-feelers: if you experience anxiety, OCD, or have feelings at all, you will learn something from this book. 😉

The section on Me and My Inner Voice has my name written all over it and it's my fav.
If you've been looking for the perfect self-help book that isn't difficult to read and you can put it to use right away, *this* is the one to buy.

[Linden · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author, a clinical psychologist, addresses the unique challenges faced by people she calls “super feelers,” those who “are wired to experience… emotions at a very intense level.” She gives examples of situations experienced by her clients, and tells how the ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) technique can be helpful. The writing style is very down-to-earth, and there’s a good balance between practical and scientific information.

[Saskia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy, interesting read with a lot of concrete, usable exercises and tipps.

[K Hue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Useful, helpful short chapters using ACT concepts in new, different ways.

[Lily · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book basically boils down to the following steps when experiencing overwhelming emotions and action impulses:
1. Check and label your feelings
2. Notice how these feelings are making you want to act
3. Think about your values
4. Consider whether your action urges are in line with those values
5. Decide how to act.

For a 220 page book this probably comprises about 20 pages of actual content and 100 pages of repetition and another 100 pages of summarising what was just said.

The writing style is infuriating and the attempts at being clever with the writing style fall short and are actually painful to read. The chapters are way too short; only a few pages each and each chapter is broken down into multiple sections each comprising just a sentence or two.

I had to force myself to finish this book hoping to find some useful information.
Overall I am disappointed.

[Dr. Taja M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and felt like it gave some really practical tips.

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Using the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Patricia explains and illustrates with real life scenarios the emotion-based behaviors. She incorporates recent researches about the emotion science, neurobiology of attachment and affective neuroscience. The book is well documented and contains the reference.

#EscapingTheEmotionalRollerCoaster #NetGalley
Description

[Ashley Peterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Escaping the Emotional Roller Coaster: ACT for the Emotionally Sensitive by Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona draws upon acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) techniques to help “super-feelers” work with their emotions more effectively.

What is a super-feeler? It’s a term the author uses to describe people who struggle with emotional regulation, meaning they experience intense emotions and have strong emotional reactions to situations. The book focuses on emotional sensitivity, which differs from the concept of the highly sensitive person, which is more about sensitivity to external stimuli. While people with borderline personality disorders would certainly fall into the category of super-feelers, the book didn’t make any sort of reference to diagnoses.

The book has short chapters (which I always appreciate), and it’s concise and to the point. Research findings are occasionally cited, but the book isn’t theory-heavy. There are plenty of exercises for the reader too try, and short vignettes help to illustrate the concepts covered.

The author explains that emotions only last seconds, but they can last longer through rumination. Emotions don’t arise alone; they come with attached thoughts, bodily sensations, and urges to act. Emotions serve several functions: communication and connection with others, figuring out what’s happening inside of us, handling dangerous situations, and motivating us to take action.

The book presents a range of skills that are grouped into the categories of: noticing/naming, defusing, checking, acceptance, awareness, body-based, and interpersonal skills.

The ACT process begins by clarifying the values you have chosen, and living those values, using them like a GPS to guide you. In a given situation, you should be checking in with yourself what your values are, and then check if your action urges are workable in the short-term and long-term with those values. The author cautions that gut feelings are overrated, and may be a form of emotional noise from an overactive amygdala.

Chapters cover a number of challenging emotions like anger, guilt, shame, abandonment, and . There is a focus throughout on evaluating the workability of action-urges arising with emotions, and the consistency of those action-urges with your values. Mindfulness is emphasized as a way to keep from getting too caught up in emotions.

The book also covers how we can get fused with sticky thoughts in relation to our emotions. These thoughts are made up by our inner voice, and include things like I feel it so it must be true; I feel X, which means I am X; and I feel X, therefore I must act on it. Our inner voices create rules and labels, and the author explains that it’s important to recognize that these aren’t true and examine whether they move us closer to or further away from our values. By defusing from these thoughts, we can decrease the pain we experience related to them.

The author asked the perhaps rhetorical question of whether you would choose to give up bad feelings if it also meant you would lose your capacity for positive feelings. My response was sign me on up for that, since the second half of that has already happened, but I don’t imagine that was the point of the question.

Overall, to be honest somehow the book just didn’t really grab me. It wasn’t the subject matter, because I’m actually a big fan of the principles of ACT. I also don’t think it was poorly written. It just didn’t quite click with me, yet at the same time I don’t think that has any bearing on how likely other people are to connect with it. It was certainly a factor that my concentration was pretty poor while I was reading it, so I think others should probably take my non-clicking with a grain of salt. If you’re not familiar with acceptance and commitment therapy, I think this would make a good introduction.