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Half Baked: The Story of My Nerves, My Newborn, and How We Both Learned to Breathe
Author Alexa Stevenson had spent most of her life preparing for the wrong disasters. When her daughter is born 15 weeks early, she is plunged into the strange half-light of the Newborn Intensive Care Unit, where she learns the Zen of medical uncertainty and makes the surprising discovery that a worst-case scenario may just be the best thing that's ever happened to her. The absurdities of the medical system, grappling with mortality, and coming into one's own are all explored in this wryly heartfelt memoir. From the indignities of infertility treatments to managing bedrest and parenting a preemie (how does one wrangle an oxygen tank while changing a diaper?), Alexa recounts her rocky road to motherhood with a uniquely sharp, funny, yet poignant voice.
306 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 10, 2010
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541 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 125 reviews
June 12, 2010
Half Baked is another one of those books that needs a 1/2 star option. It wasn't quite a 4 star read for me, but didn't deserve 3 stars either. I rounded up to 4 because I'm not really a memoir person. As far as memoirs go, though, this is a pretty good one. Like all memoirs, there's just too much narcissism there. Of course, it comes with plenty of introspection. All the same, though, memoirs are not my favorite genre, so to be fair, I didn't want to shortchange Alexa Stevenson with a three star rating.
Half Baked tells the story of an anxiety ridden woman who prepared for all of the wrong disasters. Alexa was worried about getting killed by fly balls, contracting lyme disease, and the like. But she was not prepared for a 25 week micropreemie. After some painful fertility treatments (humorously described) and a miscarriage (or two), Alexa finally becomes pregnant with twins. Like many veterans of fertility treatments, she's too afraid to become attached out of fear. However, she is completely blindsided when one twin dies in utero, leaving her body at risk for infection and her surviving delivery at risk for delivery prior to viability.
Alexa chronicles her reaction to this awful news - thankfully with good humor and wittiness - and describes the horror first of anti-contraction medications, then preterm delivery, and finally life as a NICU parent. She depicts her daughters struggle to survive and the constant uncertainty - when at one moment, her daughter seems to be thriving only to be close to death a few hours later. After a while, the constant ups and downs and medical talk got tedious for this reader (hence the lower than 4 star rating). Luckily, though, Alexa does not play hide the ball and lets the reader know that Baby Simone survives her ordeal and is now a toddler.
Overall, I found this to be an interesting read. It certainly makes me appreciate the ordeal of extreme prematurity. I definitely recommend it to anyone with an interest in micropreemies (I'm glad I wasn't around 25 weeks pregnant when I read it though!). Also, this is a really good read for friends and family of parents going through a similar ordeal. I have a friend who is the mother of twin micropreemies and it really helped me appreciate her ordeal and to recognize what her family and her babies likely experienced.
[Reviewed for Amazon VINE:]
Half Baked tells the story of an anxiety ridden woman who prepared for all of the wrong disasters. Alexa was worried about getting killed by fly balls, contracting lyme disease, and the like. But she was not prepared for a 25 week micropreemie. After some painful fertility treatments (humorously described) and a miscarriage (or two), Alexa finally becomes pregnant with twins. Like many veterans of fertility treatments, she's too afraid to become attached out of fear. However, she is completely blindsided when one twin dies in utero, leaving her body at risk for infection and her surviving delivery at risk for delivery prior to viability.
Alexa chronicles her reaction to this awful news - thankfully with good humor and wittiness - and describes the horror first of anti-contraction medications, then preterm delivery, and finally life as a NICU parent. She depicts her daughters struggle to survive and the constant uncertainty - when at one moment, her daughter seems to be thriving only to be close to death a few hours later. After a while, the constant ups and downs and medical talk got tedious for this reader (hence the lower than 4 star rating). Luckily, though, Alexa does not play hide the ball and lets the reader know that Baby Simone survives her ordeal and is now a toddler.
Overall, I found this to be an interesting read. It certainly makes me appreciate the ordeal of extreme prematurity. I definitely recommend it to anyone with an interest in micropreemies (I'm glad I wasn't around 25 weeks pregnant when I read it though!). Also, this is a really good read for friends and family of parents going through a similar ordeal. I have a friend who is the mother of twin micropreemies and it really helped me appreciate her ordeal and to recognize what her family and her babies likely experienced.
[Reviewed for Amazon VINE:]
May 23, 2013
another memoir written by the parent of a NICU baby. i had no idea there were so many books like this out there! & i'd never stumbled across a single one until i had my own NICU baby (though a 32 weeks, ramona was considered merely "moderately premature").
stevenson starts her story with her struggles to conceive, which was also something i could relate to. though she finally conceived through IVF & i didn't have to go that far. she gets pregnant with twins & then suffers the nightmare to end all nightmares: one of the twins dies in utero. she manages to hold on to the second twin for a month, eking just past viability, before she contracts an infection & goes into preterm labor.
the NICU part of the story was the most interesting to me. simone was born at 25 weeks, & oscillated between thriving & the verge of death. stevenson devoted herself to spending as much time as possible at her daughter's bedside & becoming her medical advocate. i appreciated that she never pulled any punches on the reader & was upfront from the start about the fact that her daughter survives & is reasonably healthy.
for me, the book kind of falls apart toward the end, writing-wise. it was like stevenson just ran out of steam once she got to the part of the story where she has a baby at home. it read like a first draft. she starts using the phrase "come over all" really excessively. "simone would come over all periwinkle," "i don't want to come over all sad," etc etc. she used this phrase three or four times within in like twenty pages. it just felt sloppy.
i also struggled at times with how stevenson wrote about simone. she was adamant that simone was somehow extra special & wily because it was difficult to keep a fetal monitor on her, for example. i was on hospital bed rest with continual fetal monitoring as well (four days straight for me, with no breaks), & ramona was constantly swimming away from the monitor, or kicking at it. not because she was so clever & troublesome, but because that's what babies do. stevenson insisted that her daughter would overheat if she was wearing a hat, or that she needed to be held a special way after eating, or that she had certain preferences for how she was dressed or whatever...it just bugs he shit out of me when people ascribe stuff like that to little babies. they're just projecting their own weird assumptions. like people who are like, "i can't wear my newborn, she cries when i put her in a carrier." guess what? ramona cries too when she's put in a carrier. because she's being jostled all around. as soon as she's in there & we're walking, she's happy again. if i took her out & bent to her (supposed) will every time she squeaked or grunted, life would be a whole lot harder & i too would think i had a very particular, demanding baby. i don't know.
i also wasn't really into how stevenson would compare simone against older premature babies & suggest that other NICU parents were just big babies who hadn't suffered like her. ramona had seven weeks on simone, but she was still on a central line, a ventilator, three or four days of phototherapy, etc etc etc. i understand the impulse--i don't really want to hear someone's tale of NICU woe when their baby was just in for eight hours (seriously, someone tried to bond with me about that recently!). to someone whose baby was in for four months, i'm sure my 24 days looks like a walk in the park. but stevenson's NICU was apparently five minutes from her apartment, & simone's room was private, with a desk, a phone, a fridge...ramona was on a block with three other babies. there was only one chair in her room, so when jared & i were both there, one of us had to stand. we weren't allowed to eat, drink, or use our phones in her room. whatever. it's not a competition, but stevenson acts a little competitive. & i really could have lived without the little coda where she shows a healthy simone off to a current NICU mom & is all, "my baby turned out okay." people did the same thing to me when ramona was in the NICU, & it always pissed me off. i didn't care about some stranger's baby that is all hale & hearty now. i cared about my baby, who was on paralytic drugs so she wouldn't tear out her breathing tube.
huh. this review got surprisingly critical, considering that i gave the book four stars.
stevenson starts her story with her struggles to conceive, which was also something i could relate to. though she finally conceived through IVF & i didn't have to go that far. she gets pregnant with twins & then suffers the nightmare to end all nightmares: one of the twins dies in utero. she manages to hold on to the second twin for a month, eking just past viability, before she contracts an infection & goes into preterm labor.
the NICU part of the story was the most interesting to me. simone was born at 25 weeks, & oscillated between thriving & the verge of death. stevenson devoted herself to spending as much time as possible at her daughter's bedside & becoming her medical advocate. i appreciated that she never pulled any punches on the reader & was upfront from the start about the fact that her daughter survives & is reasonably healthy.
for me, the book kind of falls apart toward the end, writing-wise. it was like stevenson just ran out of steam once she got to the part of the story where she has a baby at home. it read like a first draft. she starts using the phrase "come over all" really excessively. "simone would come over all periwinkle," "i don't want to come over all sad," etc etc. she used this phrase three or four times within in like twenty pages. it just felt sloppy.
i also struggled at times with how stevenson wrote about simone. she was adamant that simone was somehow extra special & wily because it was difficult to keep a fetal monitor on her, for example. i was on hospital bed rest with continual fetal monitoring as well (four days straight for me, with no breaks), & ramona was constantly swimming away from the monitor, or kicking at it. not because she was so clever & troublesome, but because that's what babies do. stevenson insisted that her daughter would overheat if she was wearing a hat, or that she needed to be held a special way after eating, or that she had certain preferences for how she was dressed or whatever...it just bugs he shit out of me when people ascribe stuff like that to little babies. they're just projecting their own weird assumptions. like people who are like, "i can't wear my newborn, she cries when i put her in a carrier." guess what? ramona cries too when she's put in a carrier. because she's being jostled all around. as soon as she's in there & we're walking, she's happy again. if i took her out & bent to her (supposed) will every time she squeaked or grunted, life would be a whole lot harder & i too would think i had a very particular, demanding baby. i don't know.
i also wasn't really into how stevenson would compare simone against older premature babies & suggest that other NICU parents were just big babies who hadn't suffered like her. ramona had seven weeks on simone, but she was still on a central line, a ventilator, three or four days of phototherapy, etc etc etc. i understand the impulse--i don't really want to hear someone's tale of NICU woe when their baby was just in for eight hours (seriously, someone tried to bond with me about that recently!). to someone whose baby was in for four months, i'm sure my 24 days looks like a walk in the park. but stevenson's NICU was apparently five minutes from her apartment, & simone's room was private, with a desk, a phone, a fridge...ramona was on a block with three other babies. there was only one chair in her room, so when jared & i were both there, one of us had to stand. we weren't allowed to eat, drink, or use our phones in her room. whatever. it's not a competition, but stevenson acts a little competitive. & i really could have lived without the little coda where she shows a healthy simone off to a current NICU mom & is all, "my baby turned out okay." people did the same thing to me when ramona was in the NICU, & it always pissed me off. i didn't care about some stranger's baby that is all hale & hearty now. i cared about my baby, who was on paralytic drugs so she wouldn't tear out her breathing tube.
huh. this review got surprisingly critical, considering that i gave the book four stars.
September 6, 2022
4.5 stars. This is a memoir about a woman who, for many reasons, has to have her twin babies at 25 weeks gestation. Her son died in utero so she had to give birth to one stillborn baby and one live baby who would face all sorts of unknown challenges in the NICU. I thought the story was really relatable and she also brought light to some really scary things through her humor. We hold different viewpoints about some things so I wouldn't say I felt 100% seen in this book, but the closest I've read thus far! I thought this was comforting to read a success story.
Read
January 18, 2011I kept thinking as I was reading this book...this has no relevance to my life...yet there was something that kept me coming back to it. I had a little trouble at first getting use to the writer's style. She tries too hard for humor. Once I acknowledged that to myself (about the 2nd chapter) I was able to enjoy it and just accept it as her quirky personality. I also learned something about myself. Just as she had more anxiety before she was a mother, rather than after, so did I. Not to the extent she did. But I do remember those first few years thinking it was such a relief worrying about someone else besides myself. The writer can be a little harsh at times with her language, but I would just cross out those few words and move on. This book would be especially wonderful for one having given birth to a premature baby. Shows there really is hope for a baby born half baked at 25 weeks gestation!
Quote from the book I want to remember:
"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis."
Quote from the book I want to remember:
"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis."
February 23, 2011
I have been a regular follower (a lurker, to be honest) on Alexa's blog since before her daughter was born. I've always loved her writing style on the blog so I eagerly anticipated this book. I hoped it would have more new material--it felt like there was little that hadn't been covered on the blog--but I would still highly recommend this book, especially to those not already familiar with Alexa and Simone's story. She's an engaging writer,and the memoir manages to make a very scary/sad situation humorous and relatable. As I begin to mentally prepare for my own journey toward motherhood (hopefully!), books like this one terrify me but also give me hope that no matter what happens and no matter what life throws at you it's possible to come through to the other side.
Oh, and I could totally relate to Alexa and her worries about everything. I play the exact same "What if" games with myself all the time.
Oh, and I could totally relate to Alexa and her worries about everything. I play the exact same "What if" games with myself all the time.
July 7, 2011
As a mom of micropreemies myself, this was a tough read for me. I kept the book in the bathroom and read it one paragraph at a time. Took me six months to finish it (which, come to think of it, is exactly as long as my pregnancy was). I liked Alexa Stevenson's stream of consciousness kind of manner and really enjoyed her sense of humor. But the subject matter was hard to read about (for me--too many memories).
Micropreemies = sad.
I thought the Epilogue was brilliant, though. That's where she addressed the tough questions about life, our culture, our perceptions, our ideas of normal. She challenged these "norms" so handily, I wished the whole book had had this tint.
Micropreemies = sad.
I thought the Epilogue was brilliant, though. That's where she addressed the tough questions about life, our culture, our perceptions, our ideas of normal. She challenged these "norms" so handily, I wished the whole book had had this tint.
April 11, 2013
Made me laugh, cry, and be thankful for my full-term Evan.
Just re-read this (4/2013) because now that I've been through the premature baby/NICU experience I wanted to revisit Stevenson's story. She had a more harrowing time than I did with my preemie (he was 30 weeks and didn't suffer any complications), so it made me even more thankful.
Just re-read this (4/2013) because now that I've been through the premature baby/NICU experience I wanted to revisit Stevenson's story. She had a more harrowing time than I did with my preemie (he was 30 weeks and didn't suffer any complications), so it made me even more thankful.
August 6, 2010
So good. Pregnant with twins, loses one, has another at 25 weeks. 3 month stay in the NICU. Funny and heartbreaking and completely honest about everything.
April 25, 2021
Half Baked
“The story of my nerves, my newborn, and how we both learned to breathe”.
As COVID-19 rose to epic proportions. I found strength in Half Baked. I asked myself, “Ok! How Real are ‘My Problems’ ?”
Half Baked puts stuff into perspective. Normally I’d put this story back on the shelf. But in 2020 many people were dying, and possibly me too, or someone I needed. I felt the need to bone up on grief. Especially if she was more neurotic than me. And also, the indignities of treatment during in vitro fertilization.
A true story of the fight for a teeny tiny life! A one pound preemie to be exact.
“I prepared for rock hard times ahead. Exhaustion, feelings of failure, resentment, fear, guilt, tedium, terror, sleeplessness.” –Alexa Stevenson.
Maybe it’s time to get familiar with how timid folks (and rather pessimistic ones) actually experience real threats to their well-being and sedate lifestyles. How does one handle complete helplessness? If you are an anxious person, now’s your chance, …a lit path through fear of death.
What greater force is there than a parent’s love for their child? It’s all there in this heart wrenching story, as well as some biting insights which endear her even more.
This book was like open heart surgery while awake. It’s one thing to be worried about one’s own survival but it’s quite another to read about the epic struggle a one pound baby must endure to survive. “Every step felt like a leap.”
It helps that Alexa is able to dredge up brief notes of humour, which she channeled into a blog called ‘Flotsam’, and received support from a kind universe, sort of…Her funny internal dialogue makes it possible to get through the white knuckling. She calls it “the time of the great beeping.” Machines monitoring life, all the time.
Ms. Stevenson stayed by the isolette with her baby in it, day and night for four months in NICU. The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Only able to touch her with a finger through holes in the side of the incubator. Watching machines breathe for her baby, 24 hour tests; blood? Lungs? Heart? Skin? You name it.
So, ya, I don’t recommend it if you are pregnant now. This is an excellent book for Medical industry types. Anybody who works with premature babies will find this book fascinating.
Alex Stevenson is my new hero. I don’t think discovering one of your twins has died in utero is a sadness that compares to any other grief experience. She asserts that Doctors and specialists are the real “Miracle” Workers. They all fought a war together to keep that baby alive.
After having almost lost two babies over and over and over again she acknowledges the philosophy fitting for intensive care families worldwide:
“The NICU is a tomorrowless place.”
“It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.”
And when they finally leave the hospital with baby oxygen tanks, respirators and medicine, Stevenson proclaims,
“We were battered heroes returned from war.” All three of them.
“The story of my nerves, my newborn, and how we both learned to breathe”.
As COVID-19 rose to epic proportions. I found strength in Half Baked. I asked myself, “Ok! How Real are ‘My Problems’ ?”
Half Baked puts stuff into perspective. Normally I’d put this story back on the shelf. But in 2020 many people were dying, and possibly me too, or someone I needed. I felt the need to bone up on grief. Especially if she was more neurotic than me. And also, the indignities of treatment during in vitro fertilization.
A true story of the fight for a teeny tiny life! A one pound preemie to be exact.
“I prepared for rock hard times ahead. Exhaustion, feelings of failure, resentment, fear, guilt, tedium, terror, sleeplessness.” –Alexa Stevenson.
Maybe it’s time to get familiar with how timid folks (and rather pessimistic ones) actually experience real threats to their well-being and sedate lifestyles. How does one handle complete helplessness? If you are an anxious person, now’s your chance, …a lit path through fear of death.
What greater force is there than a parent’s love for their child? It’s all there in this heart wrenching story, as well as some biting insights which endear her even more.
This book was like open heart surgery while awake. It’s one thing to be worried about one’s own survival but it’s quite another to read about the epic struggle a one pound baby must endure to survive. “Every step felt like a leap.”
It helps that Alexa is able to dredge up brief notes of humour, which she channeled into a blog called ‘Flotsam’, and received support from a kind universe, sort of…Her funny internal dialogue makes it possible to get through the white knuckling. She calls it “the time of the great beeping.” Machines monitoring life, all the time.
Ms. Stevenson stayed by the isolette with her baby in it, day and night for four months in NICU. The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Only able to touch her with a finger through holes in the side of the incubator. Watching machines breathe for her baby, 24 hour tests; blood? Lungs? Heart? Skin? You name it.
So, ya, I don’t recommend it if you are pregnant now. This is an excellent book for Medical industry types. Anybody who works with premature babies will find this book fascinating.
Alex Stevenson is my new hero. I don’t think discovering one of your twins has died in utero is a sadness that compares to any other grief experience. She asserts that Doctors and specialists are the real “Miracle” Workers. They all fought a war together to keep that baby alive.
After having almost lost two babies over and over and over again she acknowledges the philosophy fitting for intensive care families worldwide:
“The NICU is a tomorrowless place.”
“It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.”
And when they finally leave the hospital with baby oxygen tanks, respirators and medicine, Stevenson proclaims,
“We were battered heroes returned from war.” All three of them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 16, 2021
While Stevenson's story significantly differs from my own in several respects, her telling of the NICU life for a micropreemie resonated deeply for me. She was able to articulate the mixed feelings of a parent who's been tossed in the deep end with honesty and humor. I laughed, I wept, I'll recommend it to people who ask about my own experience. The only reason it was 4 stars was because of quibbles with the writing - specifically occasional unnecessary rambles and a few cases of incorrect word choice that I wouldn't expect to find in a professionally published narrative. For those who have experienced their own baby related trauma, this may be triggering. I started reading it shortly after my own kiddo was discharged, but I had to put it down for 7 years before I could start reading it again.
January 31, 2022
A thoroughly enjoyable memoir about a chronically anxious woman whose expectation of catastrophe is confirmed when her daughter—a surviving twin of a truly nightmarish pregnancy—is born at 25 weeks. The writing is genuinely funny throughout while still being extremely real; as a NICU mom in the thick of it, I found it about 90% relatable and reassuring and only 10% triggering. I’d recommend to any parents of a preemie and everyone else as well (I found the wow-her-baby-has-it-worse-than-mine dynamic to be hugely reassuring and I imagine that would only apply even more to parents of term babies).
July 24, 2018
I could not put this book down. It was the first one I have read in awhile where i found myself reading way past my bedtime because I needed to know what happened next. It was amazing to me that she was able to inflect so much humor in such a difficult part of her life but I appreciated the look into the NICU world. I related to her infertility challenges and also her anxiety and she is a wonderful storyteller.
February 12, 2019
Could not put down this memoir about a woman who, after struggling with infertility, gets pregnant with twins, loses one of the twins, lives in the hospital on bedrest, goes into labor 15 weeks early, and the struggles for her daughter's life. It is a story of perseverance, love, dedication, anxiety, and esp, how one woman becomes a mother. Funny and captivating. Great read.
June 23, 2022
In case you are reading your Goodreads reviews, thank you for this book. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it brought me a bit closer to dealing emotionally with "What Happened" and is still happening.
In our hospital parents are allowed to visit the NICU once a week for an hour and call once a day. Your journey gives a glimpse at how it could be different, for better and worse.
In our hospital parents are allowed to visit the NICU once a week for an hour and call once a day. Your journey gives a glimpse at how it could be different, for better and worse.
July 7, 2022
This is Stevenson's honest and searingly funny account of infertility, conceiving twins, having one twin die in utero, giving birth to her daughter many months early, going through the ups and downs of NICU life and eventually bringing her daughter home. Stevenson's writing style is intelligent and her dark humor frequently made me laugh out loud.
February 7, 2018
This book was amazing. I am a mom of twin micro-preemies myself, so reading about the journey of this mom through NICU was very similar in many ways. It was difficult to process the rambling about her anxieties, however, it was still a great read.
June 23, 2019
I’ve read this before and I will read it again because it is just SO GOOD. Seriously, Alexa knows how to write a sentence- every single one is amazing. Not only is the story great, but the writing is spectacular.
November 15, 2018
A glimpse into the life of a woman desperate to have children, her struggles through IVF, the heartbreak of losing one twin, and the insane life lived when the other twin is born 15 weeks early.
June 25, 2014
Having a baby is an exciting and scary life-altering event. Add in a first-time mother whose history includes a stay in a mental hospital, a highly nervous temperament even on her best days, and has been trying to get pregnant to no avail up until the point when In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) finally accomplished the task. That’s a recipe for exponential neurosis.
Alexa Stevenson tells her tale of getting pregnant, her high-risk pregnancy, as well as the outcome in, “Half Baked: The Story of My Nerves, My Newborn, and How We Both Learned to Breathe.”
Stevenson is forthright about her nervous nature, admitting that she is high strung. When she and her husband finally decide to get serious about having a baby they turn to doctors in Minnesota, where she lives, to aid in the process.
Through IVF, Alexa becomes pregnant with twins. Soon they learn one is a boy and one is a girl. Alexa, out of supersticiousness or failure to believe everything will turn out right, does not dare buy baby clothes, baby furniture, or really tell anyone she is pregnant until the point that she can no longer hide it.
Everything is going surprisingly well until one day the boy baby’s heartbeat cannot be found. However, she still has a viable daughter that she must concentrate on keeping healthily inside her for as long as possible. How that would strike a woman without a nervous nature, is horrifying, let alone a woman whose only goal in life at this point is to deliver her healthy babies.
When Alexa’s water breaks at a little over halfway through her pregnancy, she is forced on bedrest for two weeks until her daughter Simone decides she cannot wait a minute longer to greet the world. Her baby boy, Ames, is also delivered at that time, making Simone’s birth bittersweet for Alexa and her family.
Born at 25 weeks gestation, Simone weighed less than 2 pounds, considered a micro-preemie. No studies have been completed about how babies born at this weight fare later in life, because it’s only recently that babies of this size have lived long enough to complete a study.
Most of this story is devoted to Simone’s hard-won battle to live, detailing her fight to learn how to breathe, how to open her eyes, how to eat without a feeding tube (what a champion she was at that!), and how to grow into a 5+ pound baby she was when she finally left the hospital, a little over three months after she was born.
Alexa is a blog writer, and detailed much of Simone and Ames’ tales on www.flotsamblog.com, allowing her to fact-check for this book. Admitting she couldn’t remember every detail in the story, who could blame this ordinary woman who was forced into super-momdom by circumstances beyond her control.
Simone is also a super-baby who fought against odds that would’ve defeated many, but that she seemed to embrace. Simone is now two-years-old and Alexa is grateful every day for her daughter and the medical professionals who helped her.
The up-and-down nature of Simone’s story would have been much more difficult to read, had I not skipped ahead to find out that Simone is alive and doing fine today. Her story is one of not only a brave little baby, but one that shows how a mildly-flawed woman can find the strength to be a calm, nurturing mother in the face of amplified adversity.
Alexa Stevenson tells her tale of getting pregnant, her high-risk pregnancy, as well as the outcome in, “Half Baked: The Story of My Nerves, My Newborn, and How We Both Learned to Breathe.”
Stevenson is forthright about her nervous nature, admitting that she is high strung. When she and her husband finally decide to get serious about having a baby they turn to doctors in Minnesota, where she lives, to aid in the process.
Through IVF, Alexa becomes pregnant with twins. Soon they learn one is a boy and one is a girl. Alexa, out of supersticiousness or failure to believe everything will turn out right, does not dare buy baby clothes, baby furniture, or really tell anyone she is pregnant until the point that she can no longer hide it.
Everything is going surprisingly well until one day the boy baby’s heartbeat cannot be found. However, she still has a viable daughter that she must concentrate on keeping healthily inside her for as long as possible. How that would strike a woman without a nervous nature, is horrifying, let alone a woman whose only goal in life at this point is to deliver her healthy babies.
When Alexa’s water breaks at a little over halfway through her pregnancy, she is forced on bedrest for two weeks until her daughter Simone decides she cannot wait a minute longer to greet the world. Her baby boy, Ames, is also delivered at that time, making Simone’s birth bittersweet for Alexa and her family.
Born at 25 weeks gestation, Simone weighed less than 2 pounds, considered a micro-preemie. No studies have been completed about how babies born at this weight fare later in life, because it’s only recently that babies of this size have lived long enough to complete a study.
Most of this story is devoted to Simone’s hard-won battle to live, detailing her fight to learn how to breathe, how to open her eyes, how to eat without a feeding tube (what a champion she was at that!), and how to grow into a 5+ pound baby she was when she finally left the hospital, a little over three months after she was born.
Alexa is a blog writer, and detailed much of Simone and Ames’ tales on www.flotsamblog.com, allowing her to fact-check for this book. Admitting she couldn’t remember every detail in the story, who could blame this ordinary woman who was forced into super-momdom by circumstances beyond her control.
Simone is also a super-baby who fought against odds that would’ve defeated many, but that she seemed to embrace. Simone is now two-years-old and Alexa is grateful every day for her daughter and the medical professionals who helped her.
The up-and-down nature of Simone’s story would have been much more difficult to read, had I not skipped ahead to find out that Simone is alive and doing fine today. Her story is one of not only a brave little baby, but one that shows how a mildly-flawed woman can find the strength to be a calm, nurturing mother in the face of amplified adversity.
March 5, 2012
This was excellent.
As the book begins, Alexa Stevenson is your average, slightly-neurotic, married American 20-something trying to get (and stay) pregnant. Anxiety drives her to do deep research, learning more about reproduction than most of her specialists, and by the time she finally learns she's carrying twins she figures she knows all the possible risks. At 19 weeks, the odds of having a couple of healthy babies are in her favor. And then things start to go wrong, and she finds out that no matter how much you worry about the future and prepare for the worst, you're never really ready for disaster.
I loved a lot of things about this book. She's a great writer, with a clear and original voice. She has a wonderful, self-deprecating sense of humor that makes her the most likable almost-crazy person you'll ever meet. As things begin to go very, very wrong, she keeps her sense of humor and discovers that her chronic, high-level anxiety can even be an asset in the worst of situations. As she notes, there are some jobs that just demand the biggest sledgehammer in your toolbox.
Despite the subject matter (infertility, pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood), this isn't a book just for women of childbearing age. Stevenson writes about very human conditions -- love, anxiety, loss, and hope for the future. I read it in one big gulp, but it's a book I'll go back and re-read, in bits and pieces, in the future. I'm also a big fan of her blog Flotsam (http://flotsamblog.com/), and can't wait to see whatever she decides to write next.
As the book begins, Alexa Stevenson is your average, slightly-neurotic, married American 20-something trying to get (and stay) pregnant. Anxiety drives her to do deep research, learning more about reproduction than most of her specialists, and by the time she finally learns she's carrying twins she figures she knows all the possible risks. At 19 weeks, the odds of having a couple of healthy babies are in her favor. And then things start to go wrong, and she finds out that no matter how much you worry about the future and prepare for the worst, you're never really ready for disaster.
I loved a lot of things about this book. She's a great writer, with a clear and original voice. She has a wonderful, self-deprecating sense of humor that makes her the most likable almost-crazy person you'll ever meet. As things begin to go very, very wrong, she keeps her sense of humor and discovers that her chronic, high-level anxiety can even be an asset in the worst of situations. As she notes, there are some jobs that just demand the biggest sledgehammer in your toolbox.
Despite the subject matter (infertility, pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood), this isn't a book just for women of childbearing age. Stevenson writes about very human conditions -- love, anxiety, loss, and hope for the future. I read it in one big gulp, but it's a book I'll go back and re-read, in bits and pieces, in the future. I'm also a big fan of her blog Flotsam (http://flotsamblog.com/), and can't wait to see whatever she decides to write next.
July 22, 2013
I've read her blog - Flotsam - for ages. Sometimes it seems odd to read the book of a blogger, because you feel like you know the person and you're not sure what to expect.
Anyway, Alexa conceived twins via IVF. The boy died in utero at about 22 weeks. The girl was delivered at 25 weeks and change. She's about 2.5 now and doing well, and I've read every blog post since a couple of months into Simone's NICU stay.
The good = she did a remarkable job of capturing what it's like to have a child in the NICU and then bring that child home. I can't relate to what it's like to have a micropreemie, as my child was a 31 weeker. But she brought back all of the noise and smell and emotion, to the point that I had nightmares.
The questionable = the ending. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that the concept of the book is that going through all of this trauma actually lessened her life-long anxiety. Based on what I've read on the blog I'm not sure that's true, especially since she has all but stopped writing due to her anxiety issues (she took a scheduled month long hiatus, but hasn't posted with any regularity for quite a long time).
Anyway, I liked the book. Whether people without my frame of reference would is maybe another story?
Anyway, Alexa conceived twins via IVF. The boy died in utero at about 22 weeks. The girl was delivered at 25 weeks and change. She's about 2.5 now and doing well, and I've read every blog post since a couple of months into Simone's NICU stay.
The good = she did a remarkable job of capturing what it's like to have a child in the NICU and then bring that child home. I can't relate to what it's like to have a micropreemie, as my child was a 31 weeker. But she brought back all of the noise and smell and emotion, to the point that I had nightmares.
The questionable = the ending. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that the concept of the book is that going through all of this trauma actually lessened her life-long anxiety. Based on what I've read on the blog I'm not sure that's true, especially since she has all but stopped writing due to her anxiety issues (she took a scheduled month long hiatus, but hasn't posted with any regularity for quite a long time).
Anyway, I liked the book. Whether people without my frame of reference would is maybe another story?
October 30, 2010
Full disclosure: I'm the mom of twins who were born at 25 weeks, one of whom was in the NICU for 105 days, one of whom was hospitalized or in a care facility for 3 years. So, I get Stevenson is headed.
This book rang true to my experiences. Much of it I could have written because there are so many similarities. Given that, though, I'm not sure as a NICU graduate I wanted to relieve it and I'm also not sure that if I hadn't been a NICU grad that I'd really get it.
There were parts, such as where she discussed how aggravating it is when people say, "I don't know how you do it" or where she glossed over her daughter's medical difficulties at an ER visit that I could feel on a gut level and laugh about.
I don't know that I think it's hilarious but it definitely spoke to me. I am tempted to get a copy for my kids' neonatalogists and for the director of volunteering for that unit.
This book rang true to my experiences. Much of it I could have written because there are so many similarities. Given that, though, I'm not sure as a NICU graduate I wanted to relieve it and I'm also not sure that if I hadn't been a NICU grad that I'd really get it.
There were parts, such as where she discussed how aggravating it is when people say, "I don't know how you do it" or where she glossed over her daughter's medical difficulties at an ER visit that I could feel on a gut level and laugh about.
I don't know that I think it's hilarious but it definitely spoke to me. I am tempted to get a copy for my kids' neonatalogists and for the director of volunteering for that unit.
July 18, 2011
I find it hard to rate books sometimes. Books earn stars because they are really well written, or moving, or entertaining, or have meaning to you personally. Sometimes one of those reasons affects your rating.
I didn't know what to expect from this book and had it for a while before reading even though I had a preemie myself. I was glad when I finally did pick it up. Alexa somehow manages to make a frightening and sad experience hilarious! I totally got her humor. Maybe if you have not spent time in a NICU with a preemie you won't relate to her story, but you might learn something though...like empathy.
I remember a new Mom across the Hospital Hall from me talking about being so happy her son was born on 3/17 so she could name him Patrick. I felt like smacking her. My son was fighting for his life in the NICU. If you have any interest in anxiety disorder, fertility, pregnancy, pre-term birth, NICU experience, or motherhood you will likely enjoy this book.
I didn't know what to expect from this book and had it for a while before reading even though I had a preemie myself. I was glad when I finally did pick it up. Alexa somehow manages to make a frightening and sad experience hilarious! I totally got her humor. Maybe if you have not spent time in a NICU with a preemie you won't relate to her story, but you might learn something though...like empathy.
I remember a new Mom across the Hospital Hall from me talking about being so happy her son was born on 3/17 so she could name him Patrick. I felt like smacking her. My son was fighting for his life in the NICU. If you have any interest in anxiety disorder, fertility, pregnancy, pre-term birth, NICU experience, or motherhood you will likely enjoy this book.
March 21, 2012
I'm not sure I can analyze why I didn't enjoy this book, but I didn't much like it. There were parts that I read with gusto, but equally well there were parts that I yawned through, or skimmed. It's a memoir of a woman who gave birth to a baby at 25 weeks gestational age, a micro-preemie as they're called. But she doesn't give birth until page 100; up until then, she talks about IVF in excruciating detail, and sets the stage for her crisis -- not the medical crisis, although there's that, too, but her personal struggle with anxiety and her need to control everything. The most interesting parts of the book were once the baby was born and in the NICU. The least, the first 100 pages of IVF and pregnancy, and then (SPOILER ALERT) after the baby came home. Having experienced some of what she did, it's possible that I was bored because I'd lived it, or because her experiences and interpretations didn't ring true with mine, I'm not sure. But the sum total of its parts was "eh."
November 7, 2010
Well, I loved it. I couldn't put it down, and that's quite a recommendation considering I've read her blog for years, including all the way through her pregnancy through today. Still couldn't get enough of Alexa and her funny, witty way of conveying everything from the horrifying to the sublime.
When my water broke early when I was pregnant with Ben, I spent a lot of my time in the hospital trying to remember what Alexa had said on her blog about her and Simone's experiences in the NICU. (My laptop had died by that point, or I'm sure I would have been re-reading all the archives.)
It's a little odd to read a book by someone you feel like you sort of know, in that weird Internet kind of way. But this one stands on its own, for sure.
When my water broke early when I was pregnant with Ben, I spent a lot of my time in the hospital trying to remember what Alexa had said on her blog about her and Simone's experiences in the NICU. (My laptop had died by that point, or I'm sure I would have been re-reading all the archives.)
It's a little odd to read a book by someone you feel like you sort of know, in that weird Internet kind of way. But this one stands on its own, for sure.
September 19, 2010
Everything you've heard is true: this is really, really good. Yes, memoirs about pregnancy, childbirth and parenting - even through trying or tragic circumstances - are everywhere... but you'd be hard-pressed to find many that are rendered in a more articulate, moving and deeply funny fashion. Stevenson's voice as a writer is exceptionally strong, and her ability to filter the book's events through her own terrifically warped and unique perspective casts everything (from the most mundane details to the most sad and wrenching moments imaginable, and then onward to the most pure and untouchable forms of joy) into a truly different and memorable kind of light. This is an exceptional story, exceptionally well-told.
November 21, 2010
I began reading Alexa's blog just before she brought her preemie from the NICU. I was immediately taken by her mix of deep-hearted vulnerability and irreverent humor. Plus this girl can turn a phrase like a dreidel. (Favorite example, which also illustrates the "irreverent humor" thing: She describes a particular medical device used on her baby as "like something thought up by the Marquis de Sade's less conventional cousin, the one the Marquis never invited to Christmas Dinner because he was into some truly sick sh**.") Even after following her blog for a few years now, I loved her memoir. Beautiful, gripping, entertaining, insightful view of how becoming a mother changes us from the inside out. Highly recommended.
March 22, 2011
Author Alexa Stevenson had spent most of her life preparing for the wrong disasters. When her daughter is born 15 weeks early, she is plunged into the strange half-light of the Newborn Intensive Care Unit, where she learns the Zen of medical uncertainty and makes the surprising discovery that a worst-case scenario may just be the best thing that’s ever happened to her. The absurdities of the medical system, grappling with mortality, and coming into one’s own are all explored in this wryly heartfelt memoir.
From the indignities of infertility treatments to managing bedrest and parenting a preemie (how does one wrangle an oxygen tank while changing a diaper?), Alexa recounts her rocky road to motherhood with a uniquely sharp, funny, yet poignant voice.
From the indignities of infertility treatments to managing bedrest and parenting a preemie (how does one wrangle an oxygen tank while changing a diaper?), Alexa recounts her rocky road to motherhood with a uniquely sharp, funny, yet poignant voice.
May 21, 2011
I didn't love the writer's style, and to agree with another reviewer here, I thought she tried wayyyyy too hard to be funny. There is enough humor to be found in what she decided to write about surrounding a sad situation. I also hated the epilogue that stated she picked every work purposely for its meaning--it was like reading a thesaurus. Memoirs are one of my favorite types of books, and they're hard to do well. I couldn't do it! But they should be told like a story, not try to make the reader think the writer is SO SMART or has a BIG VOCABULARY. Books are most enjoyable when they're readable.
However, I liked the content and the story was captivating. Stevenson built enough empathy for all the characters and kept the reader engaged.
However, I liked the content and the story was captivating. Stevenson built enough empathy for all the characters and kept the reader engaged.
October 14, 2013
I love memoirs, but another memoir about motherhood wasn't something I was looking for. However, I picked this book up because it was on my "to-read list" and on the library bookshelf. Wow! I'm sure glad I did!
Alexa Stevenson has written a hysterically funny tale of her journey through infertility, IVF treatments, pregnancy, multiple miscarriages, a premature birth, and her daughter's many early medical complications. Alexa gave birth to her daughter 15 weeks early at less than 2 pounds. She writes with humor and openness about her emotional struggles, her fears, her discouragement and anger. There is a marvelous mixture of humor and poignancy, laughter and tears.
This is a wonderful, heartwarming, sad, honest and, as I said, hysterically funny book.
Alexa Stevenson has written a hysterically funny tale of her journey through infertility, IVF treatments, pregnancy, multiple miscarriages, a premature birth, and her daughter's many early medical complications. Alexa gave birth to her daughter 15 weeks early at less than 2 pounds. She writes with humor and openness about her emotional struggles, her fears, her discouragement and anger. There is a marvelous mixture of humor and poignancy, laughter and tears.
This is a wonderful, heartwarming, sad, honest and, as I said, hysterically funny book.
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