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Stop Feeling So Damn Depressed: A CBT-Based Guide for Men Who Want to Overcome Depression
In this no-nonsense guide for men, psychologist Jonas Horwitz presents straightforward, jargon-free strategies to help you identify and overcome depression, once and for all.
The damned thing about severe depression is that it takes over your brain, body, and spirit. It wants you to say to yourself, "There is nothing I can do to make myself feel better. I am helpless in the face of my problems." Even at this very moment your severe depression is whispering in your ear, "This is all bulls@#t." Your depression has lived with you for a long time, and has seldom left your side. It's relentlessly pessimistic, and wants you to believe that your misery will never end. These are the lies your depression is wanting you believe.
With this unique guide, you'll learn why it's so important to take your severe depression seriously—just as you would if you had cancer, heart disease, diabetes, or any other life-threatening illness. In addition, by viewing your depression as a separate entity—The Beast—you'll discover how it tries to trick you when you are most stressed to do things that leave you feeling much more depressed.
You'll also learn how changing your behavior can actually change your brain chemistry. And, most importantly, you'll find actionable solutions to put The Beast in its place so you can start feeling better now!
In order to overcome your depression, you must understand its nature. This book will help you understand The Beast, stop feeding it, and take back your life.
This book has been selected as an Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Book Recommendation—an honor bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
The damned thing about severe depression is that it takes over your brain, body, and spirit. It wants you to say to yourself, "There is nothing I can do to make myself feel better. I am helpless in the face of my problems." Even at this very moment your severe depression is whispering in your ear, "This is all bulls@#t." Your depression has lived with you for a long time, and has seldom left your side. It's relentlessly pessimistic, and wants you to believe that your misery will never end. These are the lies your depression is wanting you believe.
With this unique guide, you'll learn why it's so important to take your severe depression seriously—just as you would if you had cancer, heart disease, diabetes, or any other life-threatening illness. In addition, by viewing your depression as a separate entity—The Beast—you'll discover how it tries to trick you when you are most stressed to do things that leave you feeling much more depressed.
You'll also learn how changing your behavior can actually change your brain chemistry. And, most importantly, you'll find actionable solutions to put The Beast in its place so you can start feeling better now!
In order to overcome your depression, you must understand its nature. This book will help you understand The Beast, stop feeding it, and take back your life.
This book has been selected as an Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Book Recommendation—an honor bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
160 pages, Paperback
Published December 1, 2018
31 people are currently reading
691 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
September 27, 2018
Stop Feeling So Damn Depressed is the perfect book for the average male who struggles with symptoms of depression. It offers a concise, an easy to digest, and an evidence-based summary of the nature of depression ("the beast"), as well as the cognitive-behavioral interventions that "starve the beast."
The book urges men to take severe depression seriously, which is vital given that middle age men die by suicide more than any other age group. Recognizing the men may minimize and invalidate their symptoms, the book suggests men "treat it with deep respect." The book also conjures up helpful images to help men make sense of depression, including gems like seeing severe depression "like carrying a two-ton monkey on your back everywhere you go." Unfortunately, untreated depression can quickly become an "all-consuming syndrome that seeks to feed itself."
The book outlines healthy, productive ways to cope with depression, including methods of behaving, thinking, managing emotions, and self-care (e.g., healthy diet, regular exercise, and proper sleep). Given that many men choose to drink or use other drugs, the book shares essential concerns about using alcohol or other drugs when depressed, as well as advice for seeking appropriate treatment for substance use disorders. The book carefully describes critical concepts relevant to the treatment of depression, including cognitive distortions (e.g., catastrophizing, fortune telling, overgeneralizing, black-or-white thinking), mindfulness, and acceptance. The advice regarding avoidance, procrastination, and perfectionism is constructive and consistent with research showing a steady increase in perfectionism among adults and teens over time.
Given the tendency of men to isolate or avoid intimacy and openness when depressed, the book focuses extensively on the value of deep interpersonal connections. Several strategies aim to help free men from the possible prison of social isolation that often coincides with depression. I found the approach for assertive speaking helpful because it recognizes the value of asking for help and support.
The book wraps up by providing a helpful overview of the potential avenues for treatment of depression, including medication and psychotherapy. Useful websites and books for readers offer a path for readers to go deep or seek help.
Thanks to the publisher for letting me enjoy this ride via Net Galley before it officially debuts with the public this fall.
The book urges men to take severe depression seriously, which is vital given that middle age men die by suicide more than any other age group. Recognizing the men may minimize and invalidate their symptoms, the book suggests men "treat it with deep respect." The book also conjures up helpful images to help men make sense of depression, including gems like seeing severe depression "like carrying a two-ton monkey on your back everywhere you go." Unfortunately, untreated depression can quickly become an "all-consuming syndrome that seeks to feed itself."
The book outlines healthy, productive ways to cope with depression, including methods of behaving, thinking, managing emotions, and self-care (e.g., healthy diet, regular exercise, and proper sleep). Given that many men choose to drink or use other drugs, the book shares essential concerns about using alcohol or other drugs when depressed, as well as advice for seeking appropriate treatment for substance use disorders. The book carefully describes critical concepts relevant to the treatment of depression, including cognitive distortions (e.g., catastrophizing, fortune telling, overgeneralizing, black-or-white thinking), mindfulness, and acceptance. The advice regarding avoidance, procrastination, and perfectionism is constructive and consistent with research showing a steady increase in perfectionism among adults and teens over time.
Given the tendency of men to isolate or avoid intimacy and openness when depressed, the book focuses extensively on the value of deep interpersonal connections. Several strategies aim to help free men from the possible prison of social isolation that often coincides with depression. I found the approach for assertive speaking helpful because it recognizes the value of asking for help and support.
The book wraps up by providing a helpful overview of the potential avenues for treatment of depression, including medication and psychotherapy. Useful websites and books for readers offer a path for readers to go deep or seek help.
Thanks to the publisher for letting me enjoy this ride via Net Galley before it officially debuts with the public this fall.
August 25, 2019
This book is ostensibly for men who are first confronting their severe depression. Many of the strategies outlined within (exercise, dietary changes, social outreach) are extremely helpful, but will not be new to the seasoned depressionaire.
What is fresh about Horwitz's approach is the strategy of visualizing, personifying, and naming an individual's depression, placing it outside of himself. This process not only creates an adversarial tack that motivates action; it also creates, perhaps unintentionally, a powerful method of psychoanalysis. The name and shape men give their depression will vary, and a dive into that constructed other could prove fruitful in treating patients.
What is fresh about Horwitz's approach is the strategy of visualizing, personifying, and naming an individual's depression, placing it outside of himself. This process not only creates an adversarial tack that motivates action; it also creates, perhaps unintentionally, a powerful method of psychoanalysis. The name and shape men give their depression will vary, and a dive into that constructed other could prove fruitful in treating patients.
March 21, 2021
This book is written primarily for men with severe depression. The suggestions should also appeal to women. It is pretty basic, but easy to read and offers simple yet useful behavioral interventions for managing depression. There is nothing earth-shattering here and I imagine that most people struggling with depression for many years know and have used most of theses strategies—daily exercise, volunteer work, setting very small goals, challenging irrational thoughts with CBT strategies, getting into a reasonable sleep routine, and staying away from alcohol and drugs. It may be useful in terms of further understanding how the brain works and how to “feed or starve” depression (his terms).
Although I screened this to see if it might be useful for some of my clients, there was a strategy mentioned that I have put into place for myself. It is to take an avoided task (in my case, sorting through piles of papers), and commit to doing it for no more than 5 minutes a day. I combined this with a habit tracker app, and it has worked (only on my first week, though!)
Although I screened this to see if it might be useful for some of my clients, there was a strategy mentioned that I have put into place for myself. It is to take an avoided task (in my case, sorting through piles of papers), and commit to doing it for no more than 5 minutes a day. I combined this with a habit tracker app, and it has worked (only on my first week, though!)
July 15, 2019
Brief, but very practical. He boils down much more comprehensive and detailed methods of dealing with depression (and anxiety), to dealing with the “Beast.” I like this, as it easily parallels the spiritual forces of the world, the flesh, and the devil (Ephesians 2:2–3).
June 9, 2022
A disclaimer: I've had severe chronic depression for more than half my life. However, at the moment of this writing I am actually in a relatively good headspace due to ongoing psychotherapy and just general attempts to try and be mentally healty.
I decided to pick up this book though as it interested me and I wanted to see if there was anything I could learn to keep in my arsenal. I think Horwitz does a great job of quickly and easily explaining certain methods for guys to try and fight back "the Beast" as he calls the reader's depression. He constantly refers to the reader's depression as something outside the reader that is trying to sabotage their life, which is actually something I have been doing and find to be very helpful. He then goes on to list things that make depression worse, what you can do to counteract it (even if it's small things), how this affects interpersonal relationships, and then most importantly in my opinion stating his book is a good primer for people who want to get better but that therapy is going to be the next big step, and is just as if not more important than having self-taught methods of dealing with depression.
As far as the "for Men" part, normally I am skeptical of books or items that are specifically written for girls or guys as I feel sometimes its an unnecessary divider, but I'll say in this case I believe it was well done. Horwitz touches on certain cultural/social ideas that make men more likely to be depressed such as the need to be macho strong or to hide their emotions as it's seen as weak. He helps break down why this isn't the case and almost pleads with the reader to not fall into the John Wayne trap, and to recognize that men also need to be able to discuss what goes on in their head and are also just as prone to loneliness.
This is a good quick book for any dudes suffering depression and want some first steps on how to get better.
I decided to pick up this book though as it interested me and I wanted to see if there was anything I could learn to keep in my arsenal. I think Horwitz does a great job of quickly and easily explaining certain methods for guys to try and fight back "the Beast" as he calls the reader's depression. He constantly refers to the reader's depression as something outside the reader that is trying to sabotage their life, which is actually something I have been doing and find to be very helpful. He then goes on to list things that make depression worse, what you can do to counteract it (even if it's small things), how this affects interpersonal relationships, and then most importantly in my opinion stating his book is a good primer for people who want to get better but that therapy is going to be the next big step, and is just as if not more important than having self-taught methods of dealing with depression.
As far as the "for Men" part, normally I am skeptical of books or items that are specifically written for girls or guys as I feel sometimes its an unnecessary divider, but I'll say in this case I believe it was well done. Horwitz touches on certain cultural/social ideas that make men more likely to be depressed such as the need to be macho strong or to hide their emotions as it's seen as weak. He helps break down why this isn't the case and almost pleads with the reader to not fall into the John Wayne trap, and to recognize that men also need to be able to discuss what goes on in their head and are also just as prone to loneliness.
This is a good quick book for any dudes suffering depression and want some first steps on how to get better.
November 11, 2020
Written in a very accessible language, this is not a classical self-help book. Very well documented, it gradually takes you through many of the issues about depression in men, and the consequences of substance abuse, among other important aspects related to severe depression men. The author shares pragmatic solutions to beat the “beast”.
He goes all the way to discuss alternative help from professionals and states clearly the confidential aspects of his practice.
As a Co-Active coach I found some similarities on the way he tackles the way to get rid of severe depression (saboteur and allies, leader within, life purpose, values, etc). And as I face people suffering from severe depression as potential clients that reach out to me, I follow the ICF ethical code that ask coaches to refer the client to the specialist that he or she actually needs. Coaches can help, there’s almost always a part of the client that is “coachable”, but the real solution to severe depression is the work of psychologists and psychiatrists.
I found useful this following of some of the symptoms a man can endure if in severe depression:
1. You have lost interest in doing things, and almost nothing makes you happy.
2. You have little energy and you are often exhausted.
3. Your ability to concentrate is short.
4. You feel irritable a lot of the time and may have angry outbursts.
5. You experience all kinds of physical problems.
6. Your appetite is screwed up.
7. Your sleep cycle is impaired.
8. You have low self-esteem and profound feelings of guilt.
9. You may have thoughts of suicide.
He goes all the way to discuss alternative help from professionals and states clearly the confidential aspects of his practice.
As a Co-Active coach I found some similarities on the way he tackles the way to get rid of severe depression (saboteur and allies, leader within, life purpose, values, etc). And as I face people suffering from severe depression as potential clients that reach out to me, I follow the ICF ethical code that ask coaches to refer the client to the specialist that he or she actually needs. Coaches can help, there’s almost always a part of the client that is “coachable”, but the real solution to severe depression is the work of psychologists and psychiatrists.
I found useful this following of some of the symptoms a man can endure if in severe depression:
1. You have lost interest in doing things, and almost nothing makes you happy.
2. You have little energy and you are often exhausted.
3. Your ability to concentrate is short.
4. You feel irritable a lot of the time and may have angry outbursts.
5. You experience all kinds of physical problems.
6. Your appetite is screwed up.
7. Your sleep cycle is impaired.
8. You have low self-esteem and profound feelings of guilt.
9. You may have thoughts of suicide.
January 3, 2020
This book really succeeds at what it is trying to do: provide a clear, easy to understand tools for men to understand their depression and combat it effectively. The central exhortation of the book boils down to "do something to combat your depression every day", and Dr. Horwitz spends the various chapters elaborating on the specific actions you can take to do this. The emphasis on visualizing and personifying your depression is a particularly useful mindset to adopt.
I think the only flaw is maybe in marketing the book specifically to men. A lot of this advice probably transcends the gender identity of the folks reading it. At any rate, I have been recommending this to my friends of all genders.
I think the only flaw is maybe in marketing the book specifically to men. A lot of this advice probably transcends the gender identity of the folks reading it. At any rate, I have been recommending this to my friends of all genders.
June 22, 2023
An extremely basic overview of what depression is. Revolutionary insights include: stop drinking to escape your problems, eat healthy, sleep plenty, stay hydrated, get hobbies, treat yourself kindly, and find social connections. Essentially, if you've read any article published on depression in the last 20 years, you'll already have all of this information and more.
There is, of course, no mention of what to do if you've done all of these steps and still feel depressed, however. It's amazing that a PhD wrote this. Pretty much completely worthless.
The pictures are kind of cute, I guess.
There is, of course, no mention of what to do if you've done all of these steps and still feel depressed, however. It's amazing that a PhD wrote this. Pretty much completely worthless.
The pictures are kind of cute, I guess.
September 23, 2020
A matter-of-fact guide promoting mindfulness by depersonalizing depression and viewing it as an adversary rather than an inescapable feeling. Offers lots of good advice on lifestyle changes, modes of thinking, interpersonal relationships, psychotherapy, and how they relate to depression. It probably won't "cure" your depression but the perspective and coping mechanisms it offers will hopefully make you feel less isolated and more optimistic about your suffering.
January 9, 2019
I am not my depression and it's time to drain energy from the beast.
January 13, 2019
A fresh new perspective to tackle the "beast". I'll be starving the beast around me on a daily basis.
July 18, 2019
True as Heart. Sometimes my beast corrupts me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 15, 2020
A good starting point for those dealing with depression. This book is also a good refresher for those who have been fighting the good fight for years.
October 16, 2020
Everyone should read this!
March 22, 2023
Good start to getting an overview of depression.
September 25, 2023
This little book was filled with gems of psycho therapeutic wisdom—not the least of which was insight into becoming a better active listener and hopefully a better friend.
October 5, 2023
Hopefully it can help, a very easy, comfortable read. I will read it again & again.
March 24, 2020
Absolutely amazing. Real, honest and true advice and the author knows just how to relate to real depression in men. I suggest bookmarks and annotations so you can go back and re-read sections that were particularly helpful, as this book was as easy to read and utilize as a LEGO manual.
December 20, 2018
There are but two cardinals sent perpetrated by the author.
The first is that the book fails to extricate itself from the quagmire of books which serve as advertisements for psychology.
Secondly, it's rather sexist. Of course there is nothing even vaguely special or useful in terms of content, except that whatever ails you, a psychologist probably knows how to help. Joy.
The only saving grace is that the illustrations are nice and the book begins in a rather charmingly self depreciating way.
The first is that the book fails to extricate itself from the quagmire of books which serve as advertisements for psychology.
Secondly, it's rather sexist. Of course there is nothing even vaguely special or useful in terms of content, except that whatever ails you, a psychologist probably knows how to help. Joy.
The only saving grace is that the illustrations are nice and the book begins in a rather charmingly self depreciating way.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews