Once We Were Strangers: What Friendship with a Syrian Refugee Taught Me About Loving My Neighbor

by Shawn Smucker

In 2012, Mohammad fled his Syrian village along with his wife and four sons, escaping to Jordan through the wilderness. Four years later he sat across from Shawn Smucker in a small conference room in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Though neither of them knew it, Mohammad had arrived in Shawn's life just in time.

This is the story of a friendship. It is the story of a middle-aged writer struggling to make a living and a Syrian refugee struggling to create a life for his family in a strange and sometimes hostile land. It's the story of two fathers hoping for the best, two hearts seeking compassion, two lives changed forever. It's the story of our moment in history and the opportunities it gives us to show love and hospitality to the sojourner in our midst.

Anyone who has felt torn between the desire for security and the desire to offer sanctuary to those fleeing war and violence will find Shawn Smucker a careful and loving guide on the road to mercy and unity.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Christian, Book Club, Audiobook, Inspirational

Audible Audio

Published October 16, 2018

Reviews

[Victoria Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a tender re-evaluation of how we treat others.

Shawn Smucker did not come at it with a “let me fix your problems, self-help book” way. Instead, his tender-hearted approach to telling his and Mohammed’s story made it even more touching and broke down any barriers and stereotypes that may cloud the vision of anyone who picks up this book.

With a kind-hearted and easy flow, this book took us back and forth between Mohammed’s story of being a refugee who fled Syria and made it to the US, to present day moments of Shawn’s interaction with him and his family. It felt like the author invited us in for a cup of coffee and told us his story. It had such a homey and comfortable feeling.

Many of us today have stereotypical thoughts in our head, whether we are open minded or not. In a very gently way, through his own self examination, the author took us through some areas where we may better learn to be the kind of neighbor that God would wish us to be. Putting the other person first and serving humbly. But more importantly, being willing to be a friend.

An easy read and one that succeeded in making me step back and examine my own life and how I might do better in being a true neighbor. It also taught me a respect and a compassion for the refugees and what they have gone through to get to where they are. I strongly encourage you to check this book out and give it a read. Definitely a thought provoking, and educating read.

[Jocelyn Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once I started reading this book, it was all I wanted to do. The conversational tone holds a subtle elegance befitting the subject matter. It was written with humility and grace, and within the author's friendship with Mohammed lies multiple challenges for me, as well, in the realms of friendship and loving my neighbor. Once We Were Strangers is a brief read, but one whose influence lingers long. I recommend it.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once We Were Strangers: What Friendship with a Syrian Refugee Taught Me About Loving My Neighbor by Shawn Smucker is one of the books on the 2021 reading list for our WMS group. I did not wait until 2021.

In 2012, Muhammad fled his Syrian village along with his wife and four sons. Four years later he sat across from Shawn Smucker in a small conference room in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
Though neither of them knew it, Mohammad had arrived in Shawn's life just in time.
This is a story of a friendship. It is a story of a middle-aged writer struggling to make a living and a Syrian refugee struggling to create a life for his family in a strange and sometimes hostile land. It's a story of two fathers hoping for the best, two hearts seeking compassion, two lives changed forever. It's the story of our moment in history – and the opportunities it gives us to show love and hospitality to the sojourner in our midst.
I am glad that I read this illuminating memoir. 4 stars

[Cynthia M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once We Were Strangers by Shawn Schmucker. This book is a true account between the author and a Syrian refugee who came to the United States with his wife and sons. I was changed with the first quote from the first page, "No one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark." 

What this book is not: a sensationalized, embellished story which either deifies or land-blasts the US people or its government. It is a factual account with heart, because it is the story of an actual man and his family. It is the story of a friendship which changed more than one life. 

Because I am a hopeful idealist who also happens to be an enneagram 9, I wanted a happy ending. This book doesn't end with a tied bow and a complete and total resolution— it just ends, but I didn't feel that was a negative aspect at all as I recognize that the story is on-going.

Once we were Strangers opened my eyes to many things I’ve never seen about the refugee crisis. The author does not write to forcefully convince, he only writes to tell a story that needs to be told. More stories just like this are out there, and I hope they will be written as well as they allow us a greater capacity for compassion.

[Shawn Smucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, this is my book, so of course I'm going to give it five stars, but I hope the story that Mohammad and I put together about his flight from Syria and our friendship gives you a clearer image of all that refugees have to offer us. Friendship is important. Our neighbors are important. We need them as much as they need us.

[Monica H (TeaandBooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I live in a university community with people coming in to our area from all over the world. More and more I see students from other countries living near my neighborhood. I want to reach out to them but honestly I don't know the best way. I wanted to read Once We Were Strangers by Shawn Smucker to give me some ideas of what it could look like to reach out to those from other parts of the world, whether they are refugees or students.


Smucker tells this story along with Mahammad, the Syrian refugee that he met in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. The story is told from both Smucker's point of view and with Mahammad's memories of the trip as he shares them with Smucker. There is a gentle back and forth motion to this story. It isn't a fast tale with high adventures, which Smucker thought he might be telling. However, it is a beautiful story of two human beings seeing past their differences and forging a friendship both with each other and with their families together. Mahammad has four sons with his wife that moved from Syria to the United States. Smucker has six children with his wife. These are men with a lot going on in their lives that made time for each other both individually and with their families to show love and hospitality.


I was touched by several things throughout Once We Were Strangers. I learned that at least in the case of Mahammad he worked hard and it was a slow process to come to the United States. Then after he got here, he and his wife worked very hard every day and face so many of their challenges with courage and optimism. At one point Mahammad tells how he got together with friends who were his neighbors when he lived in Syria every day for 2 or 3 hours a day. He shares how much he misses that and how he wants to have that sort of relationship with his neighbors in the United States but he rarely even sees his neighbors. Smucker agrees that we Americans are awfully independent and it isn't easy for us to make time to do that kind of friendship these days. Yet, through this book, Smucker does make time to do this with Mahammad every couple of weeks, in spite of both of them having busy families. (Both Smucker and Mahammad share how much it has meant to them to have their friendship.) I would agree that it does seem harder to get neighbors together these days and how much better we would all be if we made time regularly to do just that. . .loving our neighbor in person. Once We Were Strangers didn't have a lot of Scripture and overt talking about either person's faith. Instead, it was just shown how important it is to love our neighbors with the love of Jesus--and to ask ourselves, who is our neighbor? I highly recommend Once We Were Strangers to everyone.


I received this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review.

[Jody Luck · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a story! Subtle yet powerful. A story of personal friendship between two individuals, two ordinary families, and yet the story of us all. An examination of “home”, of friendship, of all the things we take for granted.

Shawn shares with us his journey, not merely of making friends with someone of a different country and culture, but the journey that happened inside of him; the introspection that led him to embrace comfortable silences between friends, the dawning of awareness that there is much to receive from someone who on the surface seems to have so little to give. He shares his doubts and hesitation, and allows us to walk with him through the stretching and growing that occurs in the best sorts of relationships.

Through skillful use of flashbacks, we come to an understanding of where Mohammad has come from, and though never sensationalized, we bear witness to the desperation and are gripped by the circumstances and choices that lead a family to literally walk away from their home, life, and culture.
Shawn weaves a story that is both simple and compelling and just as he became a better person for having entered this friendship, we too can have our hearts opened by sharing this experience. This story goes deep and examines what we all experience when we decide to invest in others. What will happen if we choose the discomfort of spending time and energy? Will it be worth it? We see the Holy disruption that occurs when we interact with people as friends and not projects or causes. Am I open to that? Who does God have in mind for ME? Is it someone across the world or simply across the street?

This is the story of personal realization and global potential. A story of what was, and is, and a story pregnant with the promise of what can be.

[Hallie (Hallie Reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A departure from the other books I’ve read by Shawn Smucker, Once We Were Strangers: What Friendship With a Syrian Refugee Taught Me About Loving My Neighbor offers an uplifting read about friendship that lingers long after the reading of the final page.

Mohammed and his family fled their home in Syria to later arrive in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. As Smucker shares his journey in befriending and learning from Mohammed, he shares also flashbacks to Mohammed’s journey to the U.S., and the combined story proves poignant and timely with its graceful commentary on loving neighbors.

I very much enjoyed reading Once We Were Strangers. Smucker’s beautiful storytelling works well in a nonfiction context (in addition to fiction) and left me plenty of food for thought.

This review is also posted on Hallie Reads.

Thanks to Revell Reads, I received a complimentary copy of Once We Were Strangers and the opportunity to provide an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review, and all the opinions I have expressed are my own.

[Susie Finkbeiner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written in a casual style, Smucker has brought us the story of his friendship with a man who happens to be a Syrian refugee. It's a story about family, hope, and learning how to be a good neighbor. Timely and gentle, the telling of Mohammed and Shawn's friendship is sure to warm your heart and challenge the way you see those who once were strangers.

[Eva-Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Once We Were Strangers is a beautifully written book but I had some problems with it. These mainly have to do with my religious and political views, which I’m not going to get into on this blog (at least not much). The main issue I had was that the author and the Syrian man the book is about both claim that the God of the Jews, Christians, and Muslims is the same. I can’t agree. There are clear differences in all three religions and God is completely consistent.

However, as I said before this book is well-written and short enough that it could be read in a day – a quick, clear read that fans of memoirs should enjoy.

Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Does friendship matter? Can it change the world? What does it mean to be a friend?

This book about a Lancaster, Pa. native and a Syrian refugee who resettled to the area addresses these questions in an honest story of making time and room for people in our busy lives.

Once We Were Strangers isn't overtly dramatic or adventurous and friendship between these two men might not seem like anything significant. But that's exactly why it's the perfect book for the times we live in. Shawn doesn't set out to "save" his friend Mohammed from his circumstances, and the world doesn't noticeably shift because of their relationship. But these two men are changed, and how their relationship developed is accessible to all of us. We can all befriend someone with whom we have nothing in common simply by showing up and listening. (And repeating that process often.)

If you can't imagine ever becoming friends with a Syrian refugee, I encourage you to read this book. If you don't understand why people flee their home countries, I encourage you to read this book. The chapters about Mohammed's family's exit from Syria are some of the hardest to read. If you fully support the resettlement of refugees in the United States, I encourage you to read this book.

Disclosure: I read an advance copy of the book courtesy of Baker Publishing Group. Review reflects my honest opinion.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once We Were Strangers is the story of Shawn Smucker, a middle-aged, Christian novelist who lives with his family in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and Mohammad, a middle-aged, Muslim Syrian refugee who flees with his family to the U.S. It is the story of two strangers with diverse pasts, culture, language, and religion, who meet and get to know each other and slowly develop a deep, meaningful friendship. It is the story of a struggling writer and the struggles of an immigrant, of two fathers who hope for a better future for their children, of two men who desire to work hard and love well. It is the story of two very different people, who are very much the same.

Especially in our current political and social (and even evangelical) climate, Once We Were Strangers is a subtle, non-sensationalized book that is not only a timely reminder for Christians of our call to love our neighbor, but also a poignant memoir of how one man did. Smucker is refreshingly real and honest, sharing his personal growth in learning what it means and what it looks like to be a friend, and to have a friend. We read of Shawn's first meeting with Mohammad, with the idea of writing his story; we read, interspersed through the book, of Mohammed's prior life experiences in Syria, of his decision to leave his home, of the dangerous travels and long, slow process that led to America. But, more than that, we read of Shawn's and Mohammad's everyday lives and their friendship, which intersect in normal moments, late-night texts, conversations over coffee while the kids play in the yard, trips to the dentist, house hunting. While at first Shawn doubts his ability to be a friend, he comes to realize that genuine friendship grows out of simply making time and space for someone, ordinary kindness, simple helpfulness.

Where I felt Once We Were Strangers loses some impact is in its (also subtle) political correctness. Smucker is, of course, entitled to his own opinions and free to share them, but in my opinion the occasional biased or blanket statements, implications, and generalizations regarding politics, culture, society, and even religion—i.e., immigration policy, American individuality and independence to the detriment of all "neighborliness," whether Islam is a "religion of peace," whether "God is God"—detract from the main message (and in some cases are unfair, either to the issue at large or to those with different opinions, or misleading, particularly regarding Christianity). This is not to say that we cannot or should not have political views, but they aren't helpful here.

Personal views and political leanings aside, my recommendation is to read Once We Were Strangers, with the hope that it challenges others as it challenged me to show compassion and care for others, whoever they are, wherever they come from, whether someone very different or very much the same. Most of us who have grown up in America in relative peace and prosperity have likely never wondered if tomorrow will bring a new life or death, but living in America we likely have more opportunities than most to love our neighbor right next door—to step out of our comfort zones and our front doors, to open our homes and our hearts—and we ought not miss them.

Disclaimer: This book was received for free from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, in exchange for my honest review.  Note as with all reviews and references, I do not necessarily agree with (or am even aware of) any or all of the beliefs, views, etc. of the author; please read my disclaimer here.

[Janell R. · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I saw the title and subtitle of this book I was immediately intrigued! I’m very familiar with the refugee situation in the Middle East in general and Syria in particular so I knew I wanted to read this.

I guess I’ll start with the negatives and finish with the positives.

First of all, about 75% of it was written from a first person, present point of view. Secondly, it was mostly just telling and not showing. Very similar to diary style, where he said, “We do this, and then so-and-so happens” etc. There is a split timeline, switching back and forth between telling about how the family left Syria, and the present day and how their friendship develops.

So all that the say, the actual writing quality doesn’t have much to recommend it.

Also, I’m not sure where the author stands spiritually. It doesn’t really have any kind of a clear Christian message, and almost sounds like whether your Christian or Muslim doesn’t really matter, it’s just all part of one’s culture.

The reasons I did enjoy it were because, in the first place, so much of Shawn’s relationship with Mohammad mirrored relationships we have built with Middle Easterners. I found myself laughing and nodding my head because much of it was so familiar.

Secondarily, the overall message that Shawn Smucker was putting across is a good and, I would say, needful one for many in our country: that of befriending and giving of ourselves and our time to the immigrants in our country. I would add to that, that we should use these opportunities that we’re given to build relationships, so that we may give the gospel to those in need.

I’m giving this 3 out of 5 stars.

*Disclaimer: I received a complimentary paperback of this book from Revell in exchange for my honest review.

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes putting a human experience to an issue clarifies it. Such is the case here. We read of Mohammad, his wife and their sons. They escaped from Syria in 2012. He knew staying in the country would mean their death. They rode a bus part way with other refugees, ultimately walking through the wilderness into Jordan and into a barbed wire enclosed tented refugee camp. All Mohammad wanted was a good life for his family, free from the threat of death. But so did a million other refugees. Four years later Mohammad was in the United States and met Shawn Smucker.

I like how Smucker tells the story, starting with his initially meeting Mohammad. As a friendship develops, he reveals Mohammad's story of being a refugee and coming to America. He writes of the challenges refugees face. Besides learning a new language is finding work, finding a doctor, adjusting to all the new customs, on and on. Through it all Mohammad is full of hope, positive, friendly and so hospitable.

This is a good book for people who are afraid of Muslims and don't understand their need to find a safe place in America. This is a good account of a Syrian family trying to make their way in Jordan and then in the US. It is a good example of friendship and of how Christians can show love to others. There are discussion questions included so this would make a good choice for a reading group.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shawn Smucker does a fabulous job of introducing the reader to Mohammad and his family. Smucker's book is a MUST READ for anyone who has heard about the refugee crisis from the media, so basically all of us. Smucker details his early interactions with Mohammad as well as telling the story of when/how the family escaped Syria and then eventually found themselves in United States.

Getting to know Mohammad and his family through Smucker's book puts a human face on the word "refugee" that has become so politicized. Just like Smucker, my life has been turned upside down by befriending multiple families of Syrian refugees, so many portions of this book felt like someone had been spying on me.

I was fortunate enough to read an advanced copy for review and love this book so much I have already ordered several copies to pass on to friends.

[Aimee Fritz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE this new book. I read the entire thing in the past 24 hours, fully absorbed in the hope, beauty, and hard truths of both the refugee journey and every single friendship.

Shawn Smucker’s fiction is soms of my favorite new fiction. He writes the story of the gift of his friendship with Mohammad with descriptive beauty, universal longing, and a curiosity that kept me turning the pages through the short chapters.

I just pre-ordered 3 more copies to give as gifts.

I highly recommend this book for a non-sappy, non-hysterical, real-life, gentle, and true way to think about refugees and friendship.

[Note - I received an advanced copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)

[Andi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew I'd like this book, but I didn't know I'd love it. Smucker's wisdom here - about himself and his own prejudices and weaknesses - makes me devoted to the story even more than the beautiful relationship between an American man and a Syrian refugee does - and that's a powerful story, too. Wonderfully written, insightfully honest, and haunting in the way that life-changing books always are.

Note, I did receive a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book so quickly, captivated by the story of resilience, honesty, and friendship. Shawn invites us into the story, asking the questions of his friend Mohammad many of us wonder about refugees but do not have the relationship to ask. He also asks important questions of himself that caused me to reflect and consider ways to be more authentic and welcoming in my own life.

[Sara Salfrank · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the local details of this quiet, gentle story. Shawn writes about people and places I really know as he recounts and reflects on his deepening friendship with a Syrian refugee.

[Sherrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

My thanks to Revell Publishing Company for providing a copy of this book to me. Opinions expressed in the review are mine.

There are days when I wonder if this world can continue to exist under the current load of hate and misunderstanding and evil, when I wonder if the hearts of all people can somehow find an antidote to racism and virulent nationalism and a concern only for ourselves. We are born to these things as sparks fly upward, I suppose. I know I am. My friendship with Mohammad has been both the diagnosis and the beginning of a cure within me.

I cannot remember a time when reading a book had the transformative effect upon my life that Shawn Smucker’s Once We Were Strangers has had. The first few pages unfold into a story that provides a perspective of two lives–cultivated by different cultures and traditions–coming together in a way I’ve never experienced.

Imagine yourself traveling from Syria to Lancaster, PA. That’s a distance of 5,792 miles by air. But parts of that mileage you have either walked or relied on buses or cabs, usually in the night. You have not traveled alone. Your wife and four sons, the youngest of whom is only a toddler. You are leaving behind everything you have known for most of your life. You are taking a risk in a war-torn hostile country. Yet, what other options do you have to protect your family?

In four years time, after this agonizing journey, Mohammad, his wife Moradi, and their four sons arrive in Lancaster, PA. Their journey has been difficult, risky, and long. They are supported by a local organization, and one day a local resident of Lancaster, Shawn Smucker, arrives to meet Mohammad for the first of many visits and gatherings. They are hopeful that this book I’m reviewing will reach a point of going out into the world to tell Mohammad’s story and what is inevitably a similar story to that of most refugees in a new land.

After Shawn’s cautionary statement that Mohammad shouldn’t get his hopes up as nothing might come of this effort, Mohammad’s translator shares the following:

Mohammad says it is impossible for nothing to come of this. He is glad you are willing to hear his story, and no matter what happens you are friends now. That is all that matters. (Emphasis mine.)

Friends. Something we take for granted because most of us have a long history in our country. We may have moved from one city to another or perhaps one state to another. But we’ve not likely moved as many miles as Mohammad’s family did. Yet, Mohammad knows that friends are the foundation for his family’s success in a new land.

If friendships weren’t so important to all of us, where would all the social media outlets be? How clever of Facebook to use the phrase “Add Friend.” Friends bring us a sense of security, loving compassion, support, encouragement. As a refugee from another country, it seems refreshing that Mohammad was eager to find and make friends. This was something to which he was already accustomed.

A glimpse into the bridge-building, fear-silencing, life-affirming gift of cross-cultural friendship. This is an important and timely message.

–PETER GREER, president and CEO, HOPE International;
coauthor of Rooting for Rivals

There is so much I want to tell you about Mohammad and Shawn’s friendship building and about their families coming together as friends. To tell you too much robs you of the experience I had when I completed my reading of this short book. It takes away the element of transforming your existence in a country where many want to come to our country, and many have already done so. They too are people in search of friends, simple friendships, communities of support.

This need of something so simple touched me deeply when I realized how many friends I have–not on social media but in real life. It is incumbent on us to pass along those good gifts we’ve received. So, if I’m blessed with multiple friendships, it doesn’t hurt if I reach out and befriend another, and another, and another. In so doing, perhaps some of my friends will become friends too.

This story needs to be told–and then? It needs to be replicated in some way throughout all our communities.

— TSH OXENREIDER, author of At Home in the World:
Reflections on Belonging While Wandering the Globe

The last two quotes contained in this review are from advance praise for Once We Were Strangers. I have included them because they are relevant to what I believe is the importance of Mohammad and Shawn’s story.

Lastly, a few words from Shawn about this book:

I feel like I should have a disclaimer on the cover: ‘No one was harmed in the creation of this book.” But something was harmed. Something happened.’

My belief that refugees have little to offer was crushed. My belief that they need my help more than they need my friendship was brought low. My deep-seated, hidden concern that every Muslim person might be inherently violent or dedicated to the destruction of the West was exposed and found to be false.

* * *

The help I was prepared to offer was help given at arm’s length, aid that would cost me perhaps a tiny bit of time and maybe a few dollars but not much than that.

But I, not Mohammad, needed more than that. Actually, it turns out we both needed the same thing. We both needed a friend.

My Recommendation: I can’t emphasize enough the life-changing impact of this story. Nothing appears in these pages that is from someone’s imagination nor that has been fictionalized. It is a true story recounted by Shawn Smucker’s indelible excellence in his writing style. His descriptive powers given to Mohammad’s story of leaving Syria are filled with reality. This is a book that leaders in all religions need to read, men and women in power in our governments (county, state, and country) should read. We need to read it and step out in faith and hope to make a difference and make a friend. I highly recommend Once We Were Strangers.

[Deacon Tom (Feeling Better) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant

[Barred Owl Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 2012, Mohammad fled his Syrian village along with his wife and four sons, escaping to Jordan through the wilderness. Four years later he sat across from Shawn Smucker in a small conference room in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Though neither of them knew it, Mohammad had arrived in Shawn's life just in time.

This is the story of a friendship. It is the story of a middle-aged writer struggling to make a living and a Syrian refugee struggling to create a life for his family in a strange and sometimes hostile land. It's the story of two fathers hoping for the best, two hearts seeking compassion, two lives changed forever. It's the story of our moment in history and the opportunities it gives us to show love and hospitality to the sojourner in our midst.

Anyone who has felt torn between the desire for security and the desire to offer sanctuary to those fleeing war and violence will find Shawn Smucker a careful and loving guide on the road to mercy and unity.

[Teresa Locklear · Rating 5 out of 5]

The United States was founded by immigrant families, but in this day and age with all the terrorism we seem to be afraid to have immigrants continue to come to the US. Once we were strangers is a wonderful story about a friendship. A friendship between a struggling writing in the US and a Syrian refugee new to this country. Muhammad and his family fled their village in Syria in 2012. Several years later he meets Shawn Smucker in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. As Shawn and Muhammad spent time together a friendship starts to emerge. For those born and raised in America it's hard to imagine having to flee your home because it is no longer safe. It's hard to imagine that in your new home you struggle to communicate with others because you don't speak the language. It's hard to imagine leaving behind everything to flee and keep your family safe.

Muhammad's story truly touched me and truly made me wonder how I'd react to a Syrian refugee family moving in next to me. Would I reach out to them and offer friendship or would I ignore them as we so often do in this day and age. I like to think that I would offer whatever help that I could despite the language and cultural barriers. I think what we all need to remember is that we could some day be a refugee in another country and wouldn't we want someone to reach out to us? Reading Muhammad's story about how he and his wife both worked in a dry cleaners to be able to take care of their boys. How hard it was when they wanted to move because even though they had paid their rent on time for an entire year most people didn't want to rent to a Syrian refugee. Muhammad reminded us through his story that people don't take the time for coffee and conversation like they once did. Once we were strangers is a truly moving story about a friendship between two men and really between two families that pushed through all cultural barriers.

Shawn Smucker lives with his wife and children in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. He has also written The Day the Angels Fell as well as The Edge of Over There He can be found on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ as well as his blog.



**I received this book free from Revell for my honest review.**

[FJ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe I had the wrong expectation after reading the description, that it would help me to know the story of Mohammad’s life. Towards the end of the book, the author humbly admitted that this book is very different from the book he originally imagined, which is very encouraging. But it seems to me that this book focuses more on what the author thinks about Mohammad’s life, rather than getting to know Mohammad’s life as it is/has been (whenever their conversation couldn’t go deeper as either Mohammad couldn’t fully grasp what the author was asking, or Mohammad’s limited English prevented him from accurately describing what he tried to say, the author would fill in the gap by describing what he imagined that life would look like for himself, rather than Mohammad.) while I applaud the author’s effort to try to understand a family from very different background and to relate to them, I’m afraid this approach has the potential leading to some kind of stereotyping.

I also find it strange that the author identifies himself as a Christian but he admitted early on that he didn’t have any close friends that they would regularly meet in person, go to each other’s house and just hang out. And I wonder if that explains why he didn’t seem to be very good at engaging others in conversations. So developing a friendship between him and Mohammad had two challenges to the author: 1) to get to know someone new in general 2) to get to know someone who came into his life as a refuge with radically different background. I guess I was expecting a book written by someone who already knew how to make friends and how to maintain a healthy friendship, so what’s covered in this book would be mainly the challenges in getting to know someone who is very different as there would potentially be many more aspects that might lead to conflicts.

The other aspects I found strange about this book is that the author mentioned his owns kids by name throughout the book but referred to Mohammad’s 4 boys either by order (number one

1, and number 3) or by age (youngest/oldest).

I felt like if the author were to let the friendship develop for a couple of more years, did some research about Syria, her history and culture, the background of Mohammad’s life around the war time, etc., and then took some time to organize what to put into this story (rather than the current form which read like a diary), it would be a much richer story and serve the purpose (I assume that the book was trying to eliminate the fear/concern of ordinary Americans towards refugees in general).

I really liked and enjoyed the part about the refugee program, their living condition while in the camp, what they went through to get relocated to different countries to start the new life, etc.

So overall, this is such an important topic on bridging the gap between different people (under different skin color, language, culture, faith, etc, we are all humans and we all have more things in common to help us relate to each other than the differences to set us apart) it takes mindfulness, willingness and effort, but it would all be worth it as such encounters and friendship would enrich the life of both parties. This book has potentials but failed to stand out.

[Benjamin Liles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Defeated. Humbled. I sit here tonight having finished this book from Shawn Smucker and I can't help but feel a sense of regret. One of the last books I reviewed, not fully recently, was a book of his, The Edge of Over There. At this point I feel not only as though I gave him injustice, but as Shawn says in this latest book (but in my view based on past experience), I was "unfair" (Once We Were Strangers, pgs. 165-166).

Let it be a lesson when you review books as a disciple of Jesus Christ. He will rebuke and chasten in love. Within the pages of this book, it chronicles the lives of two men: Mohammed, a Syrian refugee, his wife, Moradi, and their four boys, as well as Shawn's life meeting him through a friend of his from Church World Service, later CWS within the pages of the book.

As I look back over my reading of the book, coupled with the fact Shawn also uses Jesus' parable of the Good Samaritan, and my overall review of this book--God ordained events within Syria for a Christian man to see what God is getting at in His word toward us. Are we friends to those who need help? Or rather are they friends to us, considering we have basic to very little understanding of them?

I not only felt convicted for how I treated Shawn's previous book I reviewed, Edge. I also feel a disservice because I'm saying something hard here: this is a wonderfully, well-thought out book. He writes as though he's a journalist digging out the truth of the Syrian war that has displaced this Sunni family into the Pennsylvania countryside of Lancaster.

So, in short, and to wrap this up, forgive me for how I handled a previous book. I found it a hard read, and just should have said that. Shawn is able and a very competent, lovely writer. I pray this book makes it into a lot of hands that bless and encourage us all to be a "friend" to someone else who truly needs the help. And sometimes, you may end up realizing that other person is the Samaritan, you're the one who needed their help.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Revell for a fair and unbiased review of it.

[Lori Wasson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was about Shawn and his friendship with Mohammad, a Syrian refuge. Shawn’s initial intentions were to write a book about Mohammad’s experiences of getting out of Syria and how he gets to the United States. But in the process, Shawn becomes very close to Mohammad, so this book develops into one about their friendship.

I really enjoyed reading about Shawn’s and Mohammad’s friendship. The book brought out the differences between the United States and Syria in how people prioritize relationships with one another. Mohammad talks about how in Syria, he went to a friend’s house almost everyday for coffee for 2-3 hours and asked the question as to why that is not done in the States. And as Shawn thinks about this, he writes about how in the States, we are independent and think we don’t need anybody, and that we are too busy for relationships and community.

I thought these points really hit the nail on the head about what relationships with one another look like these days. We do seem to be in a rush with life and we don’t slow down enough with friendships with one another. I see this lack of connection missing in some many lives these days. This book emphasizes these points. And the friendship between Mohammad and Shawn that happens as a result of “slowing down” is just awesome. It goes beyond just “helping” Mohammad get around but Mohammad is helping Shawn just as much with their friendship. I see this value of relationships with friends from other countries and I saw this value with Mohammad and his family.

I also liked one other quote in this book: (Shawn) “I find the world an increasingly intolerable place, full of hatred and evil and violence. But then there is Mohammad, reminding me to see the good in the world, reminding me to count our blessings.” Amen and exactly! There is a lot of hate and self-centeredness these days…but there is still so much good in this world.

I would highly recommend this book. Great book!

Rating: 5 out of 5

I received this book from Revell in exchange for a review.

[Evelyn Lilyana · Rating 5 out of 5]

A captivating read! I'm thankful that Shawn was moved to share his personal experience of being befriended by Syrian refugee, Mohammad. Shawn writes from a deeper place, the questions, and misconceptions he had about Muslims and middle east refugees that most of us American have. I learned so much as Shawn recounted Mohammad's life and how he escaped with his wife and sons from Syria to a better life in America.

Coming from a country torn by war and violence, Mohammad's view of life and the world is very different than the westerners who have lived in relative peace and we can learn from him.

Shawn thought he would be teaching his new Syrian friend a lot but it was Mohammad who taught Shawn the most. With humility, Shawn admits that before knowing Mohammad, he had these negative misconceptions about Muslims that honestly, I've had too but he learns that many Muslims are not terrorists wanting to create trouble. In fact, Mohammad has become a close friend, one who has brought many blessings to his life and taught him more about friendship than he thought he knew.

Through Shawn's story, we can learn to love our neighbors. Many refugees and immigrants come with peaceful intentions simply seeking a better life. This book is very necessary today more than ever and applies not just to refugees but to immigrants from all over the world. With the current migrant and refugee issues in America today, we are privileged to be the hands and feet of Jesus regardless of our political views. This book will make you view the world through a different, better set of eyes.

I received a copy from Revell in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

[Vickie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mohammed uproots his family of six and leaves Syria, fleeing the bombs and danger there. First, they go to Jordan, but there is no freedom or acceptance there. So, he completed all of the necessary paperwork to immigrate to the United States. His story is one of hope and friendship. He and his family end up in the small town of Lancaster, Pennsylvania and his new friend there is Shawn Smucker. I am not sure who learned more from this friendship, but I was fascinated by the way that Shawn took Mohammed into his family life, accepted him and his family just as they were and tried to help them assimilate to the new customs and lifestyle of the U.S. Rather than fearing Mohammed because he was Muslim, Shawn tried to understand him and his unique needs. He helped Mohammed and Moradi find jobs. He helped get the children into school. He understood Mohammed’s need to be in open space because that was more like home to him. This was an intriguing story of friendship that accepts, meets the person where they are and tries to help them.

Disclosure
Disclaimer of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher Revell. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”

[Tanya Marlow · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a moving yet unsentimental story about the friendship between an introvert Christian American father (Shawn) and a tenacious Muslim Syrian father (Mohammed) who came to America as a refugee. When faced with the refugee crisis, it’s tempting to ask, ‘how can I help refugees?’ Shawn and Mohammed’s story, immaculately and compellingly told, calls us to ask a harder question, ‘how can I love and be friends with refugees?’ In a society that increasingly is suspicious of the ‘other’ and looks at refugees as problems to be fixed rather than people to be embraced, this beautiful example of friendship shows that it’s love that will slowly, stubbornly change the world. What makes this memoir so special is its ability to handle with respect and dignity the friendship without falling into stereotypes or tropes – Mohammed is struggling, but he’s not a victim; he needs help from Shawn, but not rescue.

I devoured it for the wonderful storytelling: I held my breath as Mohammed watched his village bombed, gasped at his struggle to find a country to live in, raged at the racism refugees face, cried when reflecting on the astute observations Shawn makes about our attitude to the other. It has stayed with me as a beautiful challenge to reflect on what it means to love people different to us, without expectation or obligation. Outstanding memoir – highly recommended.

[Andrea Stoeckel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shawn Smucker is a dynamically gifted writer, as we have seen in his recent fiction “The Day the Angels Fell” and “The Edge Over There”. This new book takes on a reality...just who is my neighbor...that some people just aren’t too sure they want to talk about in this fairly selfish politically tinged society.

This story is about 2 men trying to make a difference in their small worlds: Shawn, a struggling writer and Mohammed, a 2012 Syrian refugee trying to find a safer, better life for his family. When their two worlds intersect across a Conference table something like trust begins to shape a friendship. Once the chasm was breached they find they may have more in common than one may think.

This is a MUST READ for churches reaching out to embrace refugees and others not welcome in a world where escapees will risk their lives for some semblance of order,peace and home. What starts as a fairly straightforward story draws you into a memoir of refuge and hope that changes both men, and in turn facilitates a friendship neither expected that first day. Highly recommended 5/5

[disclaimer: I received this book from the author and voluntarily reviewed it]