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Wisdom in Nonsense: Invaluable Lessons from My Father
I broke all the rules that my dad gave me.
It was he who had given me, in part, the confidence to think of my life as being worthy to mix with those of the geniuses. —Heather O’Neill
With generosity and wry humour, novelist Heather O’Neill recalls several key lessons she learned in childhood from her father: memories and stories about how crime does pay, why one should never keep a diary, and that it is good to beware of clowns, among other things. Her father and his eccentric friends—ex-bank robbers and homeless men—taught her that everything she did was important, a belief that she has carried through her life. O’Neill’s intimate recollections make Wisdom in Nonsense the perfect companion to her widely praised debut novel, Lullabies for Little Criminals (HarperCollins).
It was he who had given me, in part, the confidence to think of my life as being worthy to mix with those of the geniuses. —Heather O’Neill
With generosity and wry humour, novelist Heather O’Neill recalls several key lessons she learned in childhood from her father: memories and stories about how crime does pay, why one should never keep a diary, and that it is good to beware of clowns, among other things. Her father and his eccentric friends—ex-bank robbers and homeless men—taught her that everything she did was important, a belief that she has carried through her life. O’Neill’s intimate recollections make Wisdom in Nonsense the perfect companion to her widely praised debut novel, Lullabies for Little Criminals (HarperCollins).
53 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 1, 2018
2 people are currently reading
756 people want to read
About the author
Heather O'Neill
74 books2,630 followersHeather O'Neill was born in Montreal and attended McGill University.
She published her debut novel, Lullabies for Little Criminals, in 2006. The novel won the Canada Reads competition (2007) and was awarded the Hugh Maclennan Award (2007). It was nominated for eight other awards included the Orange Prize, the Governor General's Award and the IMPAC Dublin Literary Prize. It was an international bestseller.
Her books The Girl Who Was Saturday Night (2014) and Daydreams of Angels (2015) were both shortlisted for the Giller Prize.
Her third novel The Lonely Hearts Hotel will be published in February 2017.
Her credits also include a screenplay, a book of poetry, and contributions to The New York Times Magazine, This American Life, The Globe and Mail, Elle Magazine, The Walrus and Rookie Magazine.
She published her debut novel, Lullabies for Little Criminals, in 2006. The novel won the Canada Reads competition (2007) and was awarded the Hugh Maclennan Award (2007). It was nominated for eight other awards included the Orange Prize, the Governor General's Award and the IMPAC Dublin Literary Prize. It was an international bestseller.
Her books The Girl Who Was Saturday Night (2014) and Daydreams of Angels (2015) were both shortlisted for the Giller Prize.
Her third novel The Lonely Hearts Hotel will be published in February 2017.
Her credits also include a screenplay, a book of poetry, and contributions to The New York Times Magazine, This American Life, The Globe and Mail, Elle Magazine, The Walrus and Rookie Magazine.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews
June 6, 2018
I love Heather O'Neill, and I'll read every single thing she writes for the rest of my life. This is a tiny true book about the advice given to her by her father when she was a kid. It's funny, touching, and just a little bit sad. If you've read Lullabies for Little Criminals, you know there's more than a little dysfunction running through the O'Neill family's veins. That's what makes this 40-page book so worth reading.
February 16, 2019
My dad was determined to take care of me properly. He made pancakes and cookies and sewed my clothes. He was actually good at that. He was a little worse at what he regarded as an integral part of parenting: the dispensing of life advice. But, nonetheless, it was one of his favourite things to do.
Wisdom in Nonsense is the transcript of a talk that Heather O'Neill gave as part of the CLC Kreisel Lecture Series in 2017 (the Canadian Literature Centre itself having the mission “to engage in scholarship, foster research, and promote public interest in Canadian literature, with a view to enhancing an understanding of Canadian literature’s richness and diversity”). Other speakers in this series have included Margaret Atwood (on the Canadian literary landscape of the 1960s), Lynn Coady (on the digital vs physical book debate), and Tomson Highway (on the many languages and communities that have shaped him). That seems like an eclectic mandate, and for O'Neill's part, she titled her lecture, “My education. On unusual muses and mentors. And how I had to teach myself everything in order to cross the class divide.” In essence, this is a series of essays on the curious lessons her single father passed down to her (Learn to Play the Tuba [and you'll always have a job] or Never Keep a Diary [because it can be used against you in court some day]), and along the way, O'Neill reveals the gritty landscape she grew up in and the outcast characters she fraternised with; all recognisable to anyone who has read her wonderful novels. Ultimately, I don't know if this, as is, would have wide appeal (or if it really measures up to the topics other authors tackled in the Kreisel Lecture Series) but I enjoyed it well enough and would love to see the story of Heather O'Neill and her dad stretched out to book length. Random quotes –
From Lesson 6, Never tell Anyone What Your Parents Do for a Living:
By teaching me to lie about who I was, my dad instilled in me the notion that the differences were actually superficial. They were just outward trappings. And if you were to change coats with a rich person, then you would immediately become one. In life there will always be someone trying to take your personhood away. Someone trying to get you to think you are less than they are. It happens with colour, it happens with gender, it happens with class, it happens with education. There are people who will have you believe that class is hereditary. That you are less of a person. I was a child of a janitor, but he wanted me to be treated like the child of a professor of philosophy.
From Lesson 8, Crime Does Pay
As a child, I was crazy about cheese. So in the evenings my father would stop at select grocery stores to steal the most expensive cheese on display. At home, he would arrange the cheese in cubes on a plate that was covered in a pattern of rabbits: blue cheese, camembert, gruyère. He would pronounce them in funny ways because he couldn't read very well. He would bring out the plate while we were watching television, and we would eat them with frilly toothpicks. We'd turn from the episode of The Benny Hill Show we were watching and nod at each other whenever the mouthful was particularly delightful.
From Lesson 10, Respect Old Timers:
I feel that I need to pause for a moment and interrupt this train of thought – just in case you're getting the idea that my dad was this wonderful guy. Full disclosure: he was an asshole. There's no way around it. His behaviour was pretty shocking. He was the kind of guy who would be watering the grass, then turn the hose on someone walking by, thus instigating a fistfight. My father would always brag about the bar fights he had gotten into as a young man. He claimed that the most underrated weapon in the world is the ketchup bottle. It is inconspicuous in your hand and creates high drama when it is smashed against someone's head. In the interest of journalistic integrity, I thought I'd put that out there.
This book is very short – just forty pages after the introductory bits – and I am glad for the hints it makes about the influences that O'Neill brings to her writing. It might be more interesting to watch or listen to O'Neill delivering this lecture, but it also made me curious about the rest of the books in this series. Certainly worth the time I put into it.
February 13, 2018
My only wish is that it was longer.
November 10, 2025
4.0/5
“When men who are over fifty and have nothing to show for their efforts begin to feel sorry for themselves, mayhem ensues. They started setting their money on fire. They started singing and arm wrestling and falling down stairs. Percival ended up outside yelling in the middle of the street that no one loved him.”
“When men who are over fifty and have nothing to show for their efforts begin to feel sorry for themselves, mayhem ensues. They started setting their money on fire. They started singing and arm wrestling and falling down stairs. Percival ended up outside yelling in the middle of the street that no one loved him.”
August 28, 2018
Heather O'Neill's father had some funny ideas, and this tiny book of O'Neill's memories (originally delivered as a lecture as part of the Canadian Literature Centre Kriesel Lecture series) of things he had said had me grinning. He seemed like a character, and was clearly quite the influence on his daughter.
March 15, 2020
Often little girls are bombarded with praise for their superficial qualities and are informed, from the time they can understand a sentence, what the male gaze thinks of them. p8
Could I love HON more?
This little book made it so.
Twelve pieces of fatherly advice that mostly really were not so directly applicable.
Though she does consider them. She did try to go for the tuba, and I'll bet she knows a bit about art history. She also knows how to make her own decisions; any compromise she might make will have integrity. Feisty spirit, good eye for the unusual, warm heart, subtle humour: she inherited the best.
None of the readers loved her the way I did. p28
August 27, 2018
I fell in love with Heather O’Neill’s charm and wit from her book, Lullabies for Little Criminals. She has such a vivacious outlook on life due to her upbringing. We are lucky to have such an author in the list of Canadian authors; Canadian voices.
This little book is exactly what the title states. Bits and bobs of wisdom passed down to O’Neill from her father and now to us. It’s definitely something to be taken with a pinch of salt, but seeing her father’s fortitude to not be taken down by anything is…well…something else.
Review Continued Here
This little book is exactly what the title states. Bits and bobs of wisdom passed down to O’Neill from her father and now to us. It’s definitely something to be taken with a pinch of salt, but seeing her father’s fortitude to not be taken down by anything is…well…something else.
Review Continued Here
April 29, 2018
A charming and humourous “how to” book.
June 6, 2019
This is my first review on goodreads - I read over 75 books a year but this book warranted an actual review. Stunning and life changing and made me want to create my own list of lessons. This author is a favourite of mine and I’ve read everything she has put out (to the point that I ordered her poetry collection from amazon because it wasn’t available at the library) and everything I’ve read I’ve given 5 star reviews to. She’s gritty and unapologetic and honest. This piece I got from the library but may have to purchase because it has so many meaningful lessons. To say I loved it would be an understatement.
July 13, 2018
This was a short one. Very short! O'Neill gave this speech at the University of Alberta and I actually listened to half of it on CBC Radio. Her delivery was fantastic and I only regret that I tuned in late to the broadcast. Thankfully they also released her speech as a book. Phew!
I've never read any of her other work but I am sorely tempted. Her prose had such warmth but was also dastardly funny. I kept interrupting my poor boyfriend's own reading to read aloud bits of the speech! O'Neill captures her father and her upbringing so clearly, I felt like I was seeing it on a shelf along with all the garbage/treasure/knickknacks he had given her over the years.
I've never read any of her other work but I am sorely tempted. Her prose had such warmth but was also dastardly funny. I kept interrupting my poor boyfriend's own reading to read aloud bits of the speech! O'Neill captures her father and her upbringing so clearly, I felt like I was seeing it on a shelf along with all the garbage/treasure/knickknacks he had given her over the years.
August 27, 2018
If you've ever read Heather O'Neill's fiction, you'll know the father figures are always fascinating, dark, and deeply flawed people. I've seen O'Neill speak and she usually has some amusing stories of being raised by her father and how his personality bled into her books. This little volume is a lecture she gave, so you can read it quickly, but it talks a lot about her relationship growing up with her father. I hope some day she writes a much longer memoir about growing up, because the little bit he came to life on the pages was dazzling.
January 17, 2025
It's perfect. Reading Lullabies for Little Criminals, though it was the third novel of O'Neill's that I read, made me wonder "how is she coming up with this stuff?!" Particularly the wild ramblings of the father. Now we know. She lived a different version.
It made me laugh out loud many times, and it made me think about how we raise kind, interesting children. I'm tickled that there are artists who share things like this. What a joy.
It made me laugh out loud many times, and it made me think about how we raise kind, interesting children. I'm tickled that there are artists who share things like this. What a joy.
August 29, 2024
Enjoyed her writing style. She seems down-to-earth, but also willing to use a fair dash of poeticism. Okay, if I’m honest, I just chose this one, and it’s 40 itty bitty pages, strategically as a way to off-set that fact that The Count of Monte Cristo has single-handedly de-railed my reading challenge.
August 5, 2018
A totally charming little book about a very particular father/daughter relationship, and, more generally, the ways our parents both mess us up and give us everything. I laughed, I cried, I wanted more.
February 1, 2023
Heather O'Neill can do no wrong.
February 27, 2023
Beautiful. RIP Buddy O’Neill.
March 24, 2024
As soon as I finished reading this, I read it aloud to my husband, and we laughed and cried. That's what I love most about her work: How it elicites both joy and sorrow.
November 27, 2018
Review from prairiefire.ca. Review by Erin Della Mattia.
Heather O’Neill’s Wisdom in Nonsense: Invaluable Lessons from My Father begins with a piece of fatherly advice that must have sounded, to the young budding writer, as a challenge: “Lesson One, Never Keep a Diary”(3). O’Neill tells us that while chronicling the daily events of her life made it “seem worthy of a novel,” she suspects that it made her father, Buddy, feel “as though he were under surveillance”—the diaries could house unseemly information which could be used against him by a court, or by O’Neill herself later in life, to judge him. The lesson, of course, did not stick: “no matter how many journals he threw out, I would continue to write in them. I’m writing in one now” (3). Taking us into a cheeky “meta” moment of the eternal “now” in which O’Neill will forever defy her father’s advice, Wisdom in Nonsense offers up a selection of life lessons given to O’Neill as a child which come to act not as hard-and-fast rules but as guideposts to an occasionally odd-ball yet always sincere process of reflection on childhood, writing, and the father-daughter bond. Originally delivered as part of the CLC Kreisel Lecture Series, which aims to highlight the different specificities of the contemporary Canadian experience and act as a critical forum dedicated to Canadian literature, this slim volume contains thirteen lessons over forty pages and would be most enjoyable for the more devoted fans of O’Neill’s work, who will appreciate it as a companion piece to her fiction as well as to her earlier work of poetry, two eyes are you sleeping. Fatherhood and father-daughter relationships are, of course, common themes in her work, from Baby’s drug-addicted father Jules in Lullabies for Little Criminals to Etienne Tremblay, the fallen folksinger and absent-father of twins Nicolas and Nouschka in The Girl Who Was Saturday Night. Familiar too is the backdrop of the Montreal underworld, with its petty crime and spectacles of urban eccentricity placed alongside a sort of impoverished domesticity—the world of O’Neill’s childhood—which here has moments of magic created by Buddy O’Neill’s persistent attention to mood, such as when he turns off the lights to enjoy a fondue dinner because he thought “you could only eat fondue in the dark, as though it were a campfire to scare away minuscule wolves” (21). Reading about her connection with her father and the way in which they lived on the margins of society comes to illuminate O’Neill’s ability to depict the strange, perhaps even unexpected beauty of such bonds in her fiction. Not to suggest that O’Neill’s fiction should be read biographically, but rather that her experiences of an atypical father-daughter relationship informs her writing. For instance, as mirrored by Baby’s mothering of Jules in Lullabies, in Wisdom in Nonsense there is a recognition of a mutual dependency that can develop in close familial relationships. O’Neill stresses how much her father wanted her to love him, which he admittedly expressed in odd ways, such as requiring her to never watch a Paul Newman movie (Lesson Twelve) because he wanted her to think he could’ve been a better actor than Newman if he had been given the chance.
As much as O’Neill inevitably breaks all of the lessons given to her by her father—she does watch and enjoy a Paul Newman movie though has “never tried his salad dressing out of respect for [her] father” (33)—interesting moments emerge as her reflections on her father allow her to simultaneously reflect on her development as a writer. We get to trace, as it were, the influence of a legendary Montreal gangster on the child who would go on to become one of the most popular writers in contemporary Canadian literature. This experience is revelatory of the creation of her signature mythos, so to speak—that imagined cityscape in which it becomes logical for cats to wear bowties and disappear into mirrors, and where drug-addled pontificating becomes valued as philosophy and any object becomes worthy of a museum if you cherish it enough. Lesson Eleven, “It’s the Thought That Counts,” for instance, begins with an image of unsigned birthday cheques collected in a vinyl wallet hidden in an underwear drawer, waiting for the day that Buddy has the funds to sign them. As a child O’Neill knew that her father wanted to give her as much as he could, even if it wasn’t feasible. This lesson then opens up to her love for the Anne of Green Gables series, books given to her by her father, and her “desperate, wild, brave, obsessive manner” of reading which led to the creation of “an odd aesthetic that incorporated [her] childhood reality and the high art of literary fiction” (28, 29). O’Neill similarly reflects on her father’s friends—a group of homeless men, drug addicts, and ex-cons—whose very existence seems to have had a role in the formation of the author’s celebrated creativity and empathy, as she wonders: “Was it because I read a lot as a kid that I had the literary skills to appreciate these characters? Or was it those characters who caused me to read in a different way? It was probably an intersection of both” (20-21). Ironically, though she may not have followed his rules, O’Neill has fulfilled her father’s hope that she record his life advice to share with others, “The Pensées of Buddy O’Neill” as he terms it (29). And while Wisdom in Nonsense may not act as “the foundation of a universal school of thought” as her father had intended, it remains, above all else, a humorous and touching elegy to Buddy O’Neill.
Heather O’Neill’s Wisdom in Nonsense: Invaluable Lessons from My Father begins with a piece of fatherly advice that must have sounded, to the young budding writer, as a challenge: “Lesson One, Never Keep a Diary”(3). O’Neill tells us that while chronicling the daily events of her life made it “seem worthy of a novel,” she suspects that it made her father, Buddy, feel “as though he were under surveillance”—the diaries could house unseemly information which could be used against him by a court, or by O’Neill herself later in life, to judge him. The lesson, of course, did not stick: “no matter how many journals he threw out, I would continue to write in them. I’m writing in one now” (3). Taking us into a cheeky “meta” moment of the eternal “now” in which O’Neill will forever defy her father’s advice, Wisdom in Nonsense offers up a selection of life lessons given to O’Neill as a child which come to act not as hard-and-fast rules but as guideposts to an occasionally odd-ball yet always sincere process of reflection on childhood, writing, and the father-daughter bond. Originally delivered as part of the CLC Kreisel Lecture Series, which aims to highlight the different specificities of the contemporary Canadian experience and act as a critical forum dedicated to Canadian literature, this slim volume contains thirteen lessons over forty pages and would be most enjoyable for the more devoted fans of O’Neill’s work, who will appreciate it as a companion piece to her fiction as well as to her earlier work of poetry, two eyes are you sleeping. Fatherhood and father-daughter relationships are, of course, common themes in her work, from Baby’s drug-addicted father Jules in Lullabies for Little Criminals to Etienne Tremblay, the fallen folksinger and absent-father of twins Nicolas and Nouschka in The Girl Who Was Saturday Night. Familiar too is the backdrop of the Montreal underworld, with its petty crime and spectacles of urban eccentricity placed alongside a sort of impoverished domesticity—the world of O’Neill’s childhood—which here has moments of magic created by Buddy O’Neill’s persistent attention to mood, such as when he turns off the lights to enjoy a fondue dinner because he thought “you could only eat fondue in the dark, as though it were a campfire to scare away minuscule wolves” (21). Reading about her connection with her father and the way in which they lived on the margins of society comes to illuminate O’Neill’s ability to depict the strange, perhaps even unexpected beauty of such bonds in her fiction. Not to suggest that O’Neill’s fiction should be read biographically, but rather that her experiences of an atypical father-daughter relationship informs her writing. For instance, as mirrored by Baby’s mothering of Jules in Lullabies, in Wisdom in Nonsense there is a recognition of a mutual dependency that can develop in close familial relationships. O’Neill stresses how much her father wanted her to love him, which he admittedly expressed in odd ways, such as requiring her to never watch a Paul Newman movie (Lesson Twelve) because he wanted her to think he could’ve been a better actor than Newman if he had been given the chance.
As much as O’Neill inevitably breaks all of the lessons given to her by her father—she does watch and enjoy a Paul Newman movie though has “never tried his salad dressing out of respect for [her] father” (33)—interesting moments emerge as her reflections on her father allow her to simultaneously reflect on her development as a writer. We get to trace, as it were, the influence of a legendary Montreal gangster on the child who would go on to become one of the most popular writers in contemporary Canadian literature. This experience is revelatory of the creation of her signature mythos, so to speak—that imagined cityscape in which it becomes logical for cats to wear bowties and disappear into mirrors, and where drug-addled pontificating becomes valued as philosophy and any object becomes worthy of a museum if you cherish it enough. Lesson Eleven, “It’s the Thought That Counts,” for instance, begins with an image of unsigned birthday cheques collected in a vinyl wallet hidden in an underwear drawer, waiting for the day that Buddy has the funds to sign them. As a child O’Neill knew that her father wanted to give her as much as he could, even if it wasn’t feasible. This lesson then opens up to her love for the Anne of Green Gables series, books given to her by her father, and her “desperate, wild, brave, obsessive manner” of reading which led to the creation of “an odd aesthetic that incorporated [her] childhood reality and the high art of literary fiction” (28, 29). O’Neill similarly reflects on her father’s friends—a group of homeless men, drug addicts, and ex-cons—whose very existence seems to have had a role in the formation of the author’s celebrated creativity and empathy, as she wonders: “Was it because I read a lot as a kid that I had the literary skills to appreciate these characters? Or was it those characters who caused me to read in a different way? It was probably an intersection of both” (20-21). Ironically, though she may not have followed his rules, O’Neill has fulfilled her father’s hope that she record his life advice to share with others, “The Pensées of Buddy O’Neill” as he terms it (29). And while Wisdom in Nonsense may not act as “the foundation of a universal school of thought” as her father had intended, it remains, above all else, a humorous and touching elegy to Buddy O’Neill.
March 1, 2018
I've gotten to the place where I am scouring the internet for anything else that Heather O'Neill may have written.
I didn't like that other people were able to read "Anne of Green Gables". None of the other readers loved her the way I did. I wanted what we had to be exclusive. If she was a real person, she would have had to file a restraining order against me."
Finally, someone who can put it into words. :)
I didn't like that other people were able to read "Anne of Green Gables". None of the other readers loved her the way I did. I wanted what we had to be exclusive. If she was a real person, she would have had to file a restraining order against me."
Finally, someone who can put it into words. :)
March 20, 2018
In which Heather O'Neill reminisces about her bizarre childhood, and her equally as bizarre (yet deeply loved) father. Everything she writes is pure magic.
September 25, 2022
Short
Fun
Meaningful
5 stars it is!
Wisdom in Nonsense: Thoughts
Wisdom in Nonsense: Invaluable Lessons from My Father, is a short collection of essays by author, Heather O'Neill. It about rules her father gave her as they grew-up, seemingly, together. One of my kids suggested it to me. Things that make you wonder.
O’Neill speculates, “He liked spending time with me because I had to look up to him. I was only seven. He treated me as though I was his junior partner.” Perhaps, it was because she was not yet jaded by the world. That the father felt he could have some honest and simple dialogue. Perhaps.
In any event the book is divided in a series of lessons, which the father was adamant about, the author, not so much. I tend to side with the author, but then we have not walked in the father’s shoes. I have left the titles below: He had several rules he was adamant about
Lessons 1: Never keep a dairy
Lessons 2: Learn to play the Tuba
Lessons 3: Never share your scientific research
Lessons 4: Make friends with Jewish kids
Lessons 5: Accept that you’re ugly and move on
Lessons 6: Never tell anyone what your parents do for a living
Lessons 7: Know about art history
Lessons 8: Crime does pay
Lessons 9: Enjoy a fondue Dinner
Lessons 10: Respect old timers
Lessons 11: It’s the thought that counts
Lessons 12: Never watch a Paul Newman movie
Lessons 13: Beware of clowns
I have taken away the capitalization of the chapter titles, but you get the gist. I think. Now, the author, has written a essay on each. Most of them I can relate to, and share some thoughts, but that might ruin the book for some. Read the book. Support the author. I will however comment on a couple of the above.
Lessons 2: Learn to play the Tuba:
You play the tuba, you stand out, therefor you will be in demand. I mean, what cool kid, before you, ever wanted to play the tuba? My paternal grandfather played a similar instrument, the big bass, slightly smaller than a Tuba – my father tells me he quit the band but was always in demand. It was the life of a wanderer – back then they said gypsy, not as an insult but as a nomadic lifestyle. He wanted to put down roots. He sold his big bass – the boys, and yes, back then they were all boys, could no longer call on him. Problem solved, he could spend more time with his wife, my grandmother, and his growing family. My father at almost 94 is the last one standing.
Lessons 4: Make friends with Jewish kids
The author explained, “I’m not exactly sure that I learned anything about success from hanging out with my Jewish friends, but they were some of the most wonderful pals I ever had.”
In our neighbourhood there were not many Jews. But I remember thinking that I was Jewish when I was 5: Jesus was a Jew, and I was aware of that. Jews were Gods chosen people, and I thought we were chosen. Plus, the 7 Day War had my father cheered on the Israelis as they swept across the West Bank and Sinai – he cheered for the Canadiens too, and we were Canadian, so I figured we must be Jewish. Then again, he said that we should go to Jewish doctors and lawyers. Amongst our own, I thought. I got to college and got a wake-up call, but that is a tale for another day.
Lessons 10: Respect old timers
O’Neill explains, “Matthew was one of my many uncles. These terms were earned through merit and not blood.”
This I can relate to. I had a whole village full of aunts and uncles – well those that immigrated to Montreal. But not only Montreal, Toronto, New Your, Buenos Aires and elsewhere as well. There was a popular restaurant in Old Montreal that was operated by two sets of brothers, that were also first cousins. Their roots were all in a small Sicilian town. Whenever someone would announce that they or some family member, were from that town, the waiters and staff would immediately shout ‘cugine’ (cousin)! It was amusing. I understood the sentiment.
I think that that is enough to give you a taste. I also included part of “Lessons 11: It’s the thought that counts,” in a prior post.
The author wisely concludes, in part, with “sometimes there is nothing to be learned,” just a feeling to be had. She invites us to jot down advice that we received from our own fathers, and why not all our parents. What a splendid idea. I invite you to comply.
Lino Matteo ©™
Twitter @Lino_Matteo
Fun
Meaningful
5 stars it is!
Wisdom in Nonsense: Thoughts
Wisdom in Nonsense: Invaluable Lessons from My Father, is a short collection of essays by author, Heather O'Neill. It about rules her father gave her as they grew-up, seemingly, together. One of my kids suggested it to me. Things that make you wonder.
O’Neill speculates, “He liked spending time with me because I had to look up to him. I was only seven. He treated me as though I was his junior partner.” Perhaps, it was because she was not yet jaded by the world. That the father felt he could have some honest and simple dialogue. Perhaps.
In any event the book is divided in a series of lessons, which the father was adamant about, the author, not so much. I tend to side with the author, but then we have not walked in the father’s shoes. I have left the titles below: He had several rules he was adamant about
Lessons 1: Never keep a dairy
Lessons 2: Learn to play the Tuba
Lessons 3: Never share your scientific research
Lessons 4: Make friends with Jewish kids
Lessons 5: Accept that you’re ugly and move on
Lessons 6: Never tell anyone what your parents do for a living
Lessons 7: Know about art history
Lessons 8: Crime does pay
Lessons 9: Enjoy a fondue Dinner
Lessons 10: Respect old timers
Lessons 11: It’s the thought that counts
Lessons 12: Never watch a Paul Newman movie
Lessons 13: Beware of clowns
I have taken away the capitalization of the chapter titles, but you get the gist. I think. Now, the author, has written a essay on each. Most of them I can relate to, and share some thoughts, but that might ruin the book for some. Read the book. Support the author. I will however comment on a couple of the above.
Lessons 2: Learn to play the Tuba:
You play the tuba, you stand out, therefor you will be in demand. I mean, what cool kid, before you, ever wanted to play the tuba? My paternal grandfather played a similar instrument, the big bass, slightly smaller than a Tuba – my father tells me he quit the band but was always in demand. It was the life of a wanderer – back then they said gypsy, not as an insult but as a nomadic lifestyle. He wanted to put down roots. He sold his big bass – the boys, and yes, back then they were all boys, could no longer call on him. Problem solved, he could spend more time with his wife, my grandmother, and his growing family. My father at almost 94 is the last one standing.
Lessons 4: Make friends with Jewish kids
The author explained, “I’m not exactly sure that I learned anything about success from hanging out with my Jewish friends, but they were some of the most wonderful pals I ever had.”
In our neighbourhood there were not many Jews. But I remember thinking that I was Jewish when I was 5: Jesus was a Jew, and I was aware of that. Jews were Gods chosen people, and I thought we were chosen. Plus, the 7 Day War had my father cheered on the Israelis as they swept across the West Bank and Sinai – he cheered for the Canadiens too, and we were Canadian, so I figured we must be Jewish. Then again, he said that we should go to Jewish doctors and lawyers. Amongst our own, I thought. I got to college and got a wake-up call, but that is a tale for another day.
Lessons 10: Respect old timers
O’Neill explains, “Matthew was one of my many uncles. These terms were earned through merit and not blood.”
This I can relate to. I had a whole village full of aunts and uncles – well those that immigrated to Montreal. But not only Montreal, Toronto, New Your, Buenos Aires and elsewhere as well. There was a popular restaurant in Old Montreal that was operated by two sets of brothers, that were also first cousins. Their roots were all in a small Sicilian town. Whenever someone would announce that they or some family member, were from that town, the waiters and staff would immediately shout ‘cugine’ (cousin)! It was amusing. I understood the sentiment.
I think that that is enough to give you a taste. I also included part of “Lessons 11: It’s the thought that counts,” in a prior post.
The author wisely concludes, in part, with “sometimes there is nothing to be learned,” just a feeling to be had. She invites us to jot down advice that we received from our own fathers, and why not all our parents. What a splendid idea. I invite you to comply.
Lino Matteo ©™
Twitter @Lino_Matteo
July 8, 2023
I love Heather O'Neill so very much.
This was a loving tribute to her father, who she describes as an assh***!
Why not celebrate a less than perfect father?
"My father would always brag about the bar fights he had gotten into as a young man. He claimed that the most underrated weapon in the world is a ketchup bottle. It is inconspicuous in your hand and creates high drama when it is smashed against someone's head."
"In life there will always be someone trying to take your personhood away. Someone trying to get you to think you are less than they are. It happens with colour, it happens with gender, it happens with class, it happens with education. There are people who would have you believe that class is hereditary. That you are less of a person.
I was the child of a janitor, but he wanted me to be treated like the child of a professor of philosophy."
I'm filling in the advice from my own father- in the allotted section at the end.
I love that ALL the advice your father gave you may not have been the best, should not be heeded,
but it was given to you with love and spoke to who they were.
We learn from them, including their mistakes and mistaken beliefs.
This was a loving tribute to her father, who she describes as an assh***!
Why not celebrate a less than perfect father?
"My father would always brag about the bar fights he had gotten into as a young man. He claimed that the most underrated weapon in the world is a ketchup bottle. It is inconspicuous in your hand and creates high drama when it is smashed against someone's head."
"In life there will always be someone trying to take your personhood away. Someone trying to get you to think you are less than they are. It happens with colour, it happens with gender, it happens with class, it happens with education. There are people who would have you believe that class is hereditary. That you are less of a person.
I was the child of a janitor, but he wanted me to be treated like the child of a professor of philosophy."
I'm filling in the advice from my own father- in the allotted section at the end.
I love that ALL the advice your father gave you may not have been the best, should not be heeded,
but it was given to you with love and spoke to who they were.
We learn from them, including their mistakes and mistaken beliefs.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 25, 2018
"Wisdom in Nonsense" is actually the text of the 2018 Henry Kriesel lecture that Heather O'Neill was invited to deliver and which the CBC broadcasts. It is freely available on the Net and definitely worth watching. As an unabashed Heather O'Neill fan I was delighted with this so-called novel about the wisdom her single-parent dad imparted to her as he was raising her. What was even more delightful is the understanding and acceptance that O'Neill expresses towards the unique circumstances in which she grew up. How many of us can say that our parent would routinely steal expensive cheese to round out a daughter's palate and in the process get banned from every purveyor of food in downtown Montreal? Not only is O'Neill a lip-slippery writer of some skill and talent - there is also generosity and wit and love in this tribute to her dad.
June 2, 2018
Heather O'Neill is one of my favourite authors - her quirky views on life constantly surprise and delight you as a reader. This little treasure trove of memories, helps to explain O'Neill's off beat, eccentric, somewhat skewed assessment of her environment. O'Neill's father - a janitor, thief (when not already in jail) and philosopher - passed on what he considered the essential lessons in life. The result is a bright young girl who has been admonished to never keep a diary (it can be used against you in court) and to accept the fact that she is ugly and move on..... also - she is to beware of clowns and understand that crime does pay.
While there are hilarious, unbelievable lessons dutifully passed from parent to child, it would appear that O'Neill loved her Dad and her unconventional childhood.
While there are hilarious, unbelievable lessons dutifully passed from parent to child, it would appear that O'Neill loved her Dad and her unconventional childhood.
August 28, 2023
I think that lying is just a way of telling the truth in a metaphorical way. 42
It was hard to imagine that he lived in a time where everyone was black and white. 62
Although he didn’t warn me about drug addicts, my dad spent plenty of time warning me about clowns. 81
I was going for this:
Percy Shelley explaining to a court why he can’t afford child support;
A cross between Antonin Artaud’s Theatre of Cruelty and the cast of The Muppet Show;
Lewis Carroll and late-night news anchors who are always laughing when the camera comes back to them;
Vladimir Nabokov and the doll section of the Hudson’s Bay department store;
Words of wisdom from a Bazooka Joe comic and Friedrich Nietzsche;
Ralph Ellison and all the lamps my dad took out of the garbage;
Margaret Atwood and my absent mother.
It was hard to imagine that he lived in a time where everyone was black and white. 62
Although he didn’t warn me about drug addicts, my dad spent plenty of time warning me about clowns. 81
I was going for this:
Percy Shelley explaining to a court why he can’t afford child support;
A cross between Antonin Artaud’s Theatre of Cruelty and the cast of The Muppet Show;
Lewis Carroll and late-night news anchors who are always laughing when the camera comes back to them;
Vladimir Nabokov and the doll section of the Hudson’s Bay department store;
Words of wisdom from a Bazooka Joe comic and Friedrich Nietzsche;
Ralph Ellison and all the lamps my dad took out of the garbage;
Margaret Atwood and my absent mother.
April 22, 2021
Wisdom in Nonsense is a very short 'rulebook' compiled by O'Neill. It's like a 'best of' list of the lessons she learnt from her father. One lesson she was taught was 'learn to play the tuba', as there never seems to be enough tuba players ( I wish my father gave me that advice; if I knew how to play the tuba maybe I'd be less worried about unemployment after graduating).
In a short 50 pages the reader gets an insight into the colourful, unconventional childhood of the author. Her working class background, the drug addicts and unemployed drifters who her father counted as friends and her larger than life father, who was both a professor of philosophy and a talented sculptor.
O'Neill is a sensitive and funny writer who had written a lovely, loving ode to her father.
In a short 50 pages the reader gets an insight into the colourful, unconventional childhood of the author. Her working class background, the drug addicts and unemployed drifters who her father counted as friends and her larger than life father, who was both a professor of philosophy and a talented sculptor.
O'Neill is a sensitive and funny writer who had written a lovely, loving ode to her father.
August 23, 2018
In only 40 pages, Heather O’Neil is able to share her love of and the life lessons she learned from her dad, who at one point she admits with full disclosure was an a**hole. “My dad was determined to take care of me properly. He made pancakes and cookies and sewed my clothes. He was actually good at that. He was a little worse at what he regarded as an integral part of parenting: the dispensing of life advice. But, nonetheless, it was one of his favourite things to do.” What’s not to love in a book that shares the advice ”accept that you’re ugly and move on”, “learn to play the tuba”, and “crime does pay”.
July 2, 2018
I really enjoyed this. I picked up this book on an impulse while browsing at the library. I thought it was going to be a poetry book but it did not disappoint with what it turned out to be. I thought the stories were full or humor and heart. I especially like how the author broke up some of the stories to remind people that her father was not a Robin Hood and was a flawed man. These stories are speak to me as a Canadian. I would highly recommend this book and am trying to find the other works by this author.
July 30, 2021
Probably one of the most weird biographical accounts that I have ever read! Heather's Dad was a most unusual character, to say the least, and his Life Lessons are very strange, but also quite funny. Unfortunately, Heather doesn't specify which of the lessons she took to heart and followed as mantras for her own life...
It is a short little book, and worth an hour of your time, so that you can compare these lessons to the advice that you gave, or heard. Especially so if you are a parent, or if you had a parent.
It is a short little book, and worth an hour of your time, so that you can compare these lessons to the advice that you gave, or heard. Especially so if you are a parent, or if you had a parent.
February 14, 2021
Okay maybe I didn’t get this book? I don’t even know how it ended up on my TBR shelf, but I read it to fulfil the shortest book prompt.
This is “life lessons” from the author’s father. Except he was not a wise man. He was uneducated (grade 3) and a thief. But thought he was street smart. Which is not wisdom. And though she tried to pull some deeper meaning from his lessons, it was a stretch at best.
This is “life lessons” from the author’s father. Except he was not a wise man. He was uneducated (grade 3) and a thief. But thought he was street smart. Which is not wisdom. And though she tried to pull some deeper meaning from his lessons, it was a stretch at best.
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