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Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence
Why is it easier to ruminate over hurt feelings than it is to bask in the warmth of being appreciated?
Because your brain evolved to learn quickly from bad experiences but slowly from the good ones.
You can change this.
Hardwiring Happiness lays out a simple method that uses the hidden power of everyday experiences to build new neural structures full of happiness, love, confidence, and peace. Dr. Hanson's four steps build strengths into your brain-- balancing its ancient negativity bias--making contentment and a powerful sense of resilience the new normal. In mere minutes each day, we can transform our brains into refuges and power centers of calm and happiness.
Because your brain evolved to learn quickly from bad experiences but slowly from the good ones.
You can change this.
Hardwiring Happiness lays out a simple method that uses the hidden power of everyday experiences to build new neural structures full of happiness, love, confidence, and peace. Dr. Hanson's four steps build strengths into your brain-- balancing its ancient negativity bias--making contentment and a powerful sense of resilience the new normal. In mere minutes each day, we can transform our brains into refuges and power centers of calm and happiness.
306 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 8, 2013
2145 people are currently reading
13574 people want to read
About the author
Rick Hanson
66 books742 followersRick Hanson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and New York Times best-selling author. His seven books have been published in 33 languages and include Making Great Relationships, Neurodharma, Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Just One Thing, Buddha’s Brain, and Mother Nurture – with over a million copies in English alone. He's the founder of the Global Compassion Coalition and the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, as well as the co-host of the Being Well podcast – which has been downloaded 23 million times. His free newsletters have 260,000 subscribers, and his online programs have scholarships available for those with financial needs. He’s lectured at NASA, Google, Oxford, and Harvard. An expert on positive neuroplasticity, his work has been featured on CBS, NPR, the BBC, and other major media. He began meditating in 1974 and has taught in meditation centers worldwide. He and his wife live in northern California and have two adult children. He loves the wilderness and taking a break from emails.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 533 reviews
January 28, 2018
When you notice something positive, sit with it for a while to hardwire it into your brain. The end. Now you can spare yourself 200 pages.
September 24, 2013
Very few of us have a smooth, glorious childhood. Most of us have a slightly rocky one, sometimes perhaps a very rocky one. And even if we have plenty of good memories too, it’s the painful ones that tend to stand out the most. Rick Hanson has a powerful analogy for this: The brain is like Velcro for bad experiences but Teflon for good ones.
Our human brains have been wired to remember mistakes, simply because to our Stone Age Brains it was important to remember and learn from those mistakes. It could mean the difference between live or die. Better a false positive than a false negative when it’s a case of predators possibly sneaking up on you.
Only today we could use a little less velcro…
Sometimes we spend too much time dissecting all the bad things; and it's true that swirling around in negative thoughts only makes you sink deeper, but that focusing on the few good things that come your way every day, makes you stand up just that little bit taller.
It can help all of us, whether you’re on top of the mountain or whether that mountain is looming in front of you. Because at the very core this book is about everyday things. About slowly trying to make the Velcro disappear and making us more confident and open to the world around us, and you can do that wherever you are.
My one criticism for this book is immediately also its strength. Its scope isn’t massive, and it actually bangs home just a handful of important messages. That sometimes sounds a bit repetitive, but on the other hand it can be a huge plus too. I’ve read a lot of non-fiction lately that covered so much ground, I felt like I didn’t remember any of it afterwards. That’s unlikely to happen here.
He has a few things he wants to convey, and does that very effectively. The writing is solid, the background is good, and the starting level is low enough that everyone could ease into it.
There are some similarities to mindfulness, but also quite some differences. I never got the hang of mindfulness, but I did immediately start to take some things of this book with me every day. It’s more tangible than mindfulness or its equivalents which always seemed a bit fuzzy to me.
Our human brains have been wired to remember mistakes, simply because to our Stone Age Brains it was important to remember and learn from those mistakes. It could mean the difference between live or die. Better a false positive than a false negative when it’s a case of predators possibly sneaking up on you.
Only today we could use a little less velcro…
Sometimes we spend too much time dissecting all the bad things; and it's true that swirling around in negative thoughts only makes you sink deeper, but that focusing on the few good things that come your way every day, makes you stand up just that little bit taller.
It can help all of us, whether you’re on top of the mountain or whether that mountain is looming in front of you. Because at the very core this book is about everyday things. About slowly trying to make the Velcro disappear and making us more confident and open to the world around us, and you can do that wherever you are.
My one criticism for this book is immediately also its strength. Its scope isn’t massive, and it actually bangs home just a handful of important messages. That sometimes sounds a bit repetitive, but on the other hand it can be a huge plus too. I’ve read a lot of non-fiction lately that covered so much ground, I felt like I didn’t remember any of it afterwards. That’s unlikely to happen here.
He has a few things he wants to convey, and does that very effectively. The writing is solid, the background is good, and the starting level is low enough that everyone could ease into it.
There are some similarities to mindfulness, but also quite some differences. I never got the hang of mindfulness, but I did immediately start to take some things of this book with me every day. It’s more tangible than mindfulness or its equivalents which always seemed a bit fuzzy to me.
September 24, 2015
Did anyone else think this book was just adjectives matched together under categories?
While I appreciated the bare bones brain science of this, it really could have just been a couple page article. Maybe with an appendix of a bullet list with tips for achieving positive connections.
I did this on audio, so it's possible it doesn't come across as well when narrated...but I genuinely zoned out for minutes at a time, only to focus back on the audiobook and realize he is still just giving me a list of adjectives.
Gave up halfway through. Read the synopsis. That will get you the gist.
While I appreciated the bare bones brain science of this, it really could have just been a couple page article. Maybe with an appendix of a bullet list with tips for achieving positive connections.
I did this on audio, so it's possible it doesn't come across as well when narrated...but I genuinely zoned out for minutes at a time, only to focus back on the audiobook and realize he is still just giving me a list of adjectives.
Gave up halfway through. Read the synopsis. That will get you the gist.
April 16, 2017
While the concept for the book is very good--hardwiring your brain to focus on positivity instead of the opposite--the book's real meat could have been easily covered in the space of a magazine article. The rest was filler and repetition and after a while got boring...and annoying. And that made me UNHAPPY.
October 14, 2013
Hardwiring Happiness is a psychology/but actually mostly a self-help book. I obviously went into it with expectations that weren't met, but it's not all bad. I did get the psychological research that I wanted and more. I won't get into it here, but the ideas presented definitely went in line with what I've learned, and made a lot of sense. And it was thankfully backed up with pages and pages of legit references.
The methods outlined in the book are very easy to follow and even easier to try to use, even while you're reading the book. I especially liked the section that addresses the "mental blocks", a.k.a. criticisms of his method, and answered most of my questions to my satisfaction.
One issue I had with the book was the repetitiveness and the unnecessary length, since the ideas were simple enough to need less elaboration. I understand why repetition was more needed in the last part, since you're not really supposed to read all the examples at the same time. But it was a problem throughout and I felt like I was being beaten over the head with the same words, over and over again. But on the other hand, I remember a lot of the book, so maybe the repetition is a necessary evil.
This book has a solid foundation to teach anyone to be a little happier. And we all need that, right?
-I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review-
The methods outlined in the book are very easy to follow and even easier to try to use, even while you're reading the book. I especially liked the section that addresses the "mental blocks", a.k.a. criticisms of his method, and answered most of my questions to my satisfaction.
One issue I had with the book was the repetitiveness and the unnecessary length, since the ideas were simple enough to need less elaboration. I understand why repetition was more needed in the last part, since you're not really supposed to read all the examples at the same time. But it was a problem throughout and I felt like I was being beaten over the head with the same words, over and over again. But on the other hand, I remember a lot of the book, so maybe the repetition is a necessary evil.
This book has a solid foundation to teach anyone to be a little happier. And we all need that, right?
-I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review-
September 10, 2015
Kudos for citing your sources, but there's some serious over-simplification of neuroscience going on here.
Summary: Get in the habit of noticing and appreciating good things, especially small ones, to offset your natural inclination to focus on the negative.
tl;dr: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZUmA...
Summary: Get in the habit of noticing and appreciating good things, especially small ones, to offset your natural inclination to focus on the negative.
tl;dr: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZUmA...
March 10, 2014
The first thing I did when I finish this book was writing an email recommending it to all my students.
Personally, I would not have been attracted to anything with the word 'Happiness' in it or as 'positive'.., if it were not for how impressed I was with his previous book 'Buddha's Brain'.
I have been using mindfulness for some years, and this book is just what I needed whilst I felt I was hitting a bottle-neck in my own spiritual/ mindfulness practise.
I instantly fell in love with Hanson's '' Let Be, Let Go, Let In'' model. He eloquently captures how modern psychotherapy has dealt with 'Let Be' (via Mindfulness's 'sitting with', 'being with' attitude) , and the all- American, problem solving 'Let Go' element (CBT, Change Strategies). He adds the much neglected aspect of 'Let In'- how to increase and reinforce positive experiences in life, and how that can lead to long lasting changes.
Hanson has really brought together ideas in modalities like NLP, Mindfulness, positive psychology and humanistic therapy into something that offers hope but also acknowledge the depth of human sufferings.
I would recommend it to anyone who has some interest in extending their mindfulness practise- it would also tackle the anxiety many therapists hold towards the untapped field of neuroplasticity!
Personally, I would not have been attracted to anything with the word 'Happiness' in it or as 'positive'.., if it were not for how impressed I was with his previous book 'Buddha's Brain'.
I have been using mindfulness for some years, and this book is just what I needed whilst I felt I was hitting a bottle-neck in my own spiritual/ mindfulness practise.
I instantly fell in love with Hanson's '' Let Be, Let Go, Let In'' model. He eloquently captures how modern psychotherapy has dealt with 'Let Be' (via Mindfulness's 'sitting with', 'being with' attitude) , and the all- American, problem solving 'Let Go' element (CBT, Change Strategies). He adds the much neglected aspect of 'Let In'- how to increase and reinforce positive experiences in life, and how that can lead to long lasting changes.
Hanson has really brought together ideas in modalities like NLP, Mindfulness, positive psychology and humanistic therapy into something that offers hope but also acknowledge the depth of human sufferings.
I would recommend it to anyone who has some interest in extending their mindfulness practise- it would also tackle the anxiety many therapists hold towards the untapped field of neuroplasticity!
June 6, 2023
I discovered this book, or rather its author, through Sharon Salzberg's Metta Hour podcast. He made fascinating points during the interview and I was pleasantly surprised when the library had his book and borrowed it as quickly as I could.
The first part of the book was the most interesting for me. In it Hanson discusses neuroplasticity, that incredible discovery that neural pathways can be altered and changed, even in older already “developed” minds, and the ways meditation practices can change the brain. In this earlier section, one also learns about the evolution of the mind. The reason why we pay more attention to harm, evil, and, generally, the bad and wrong than we do the moments of joy, and, generally, the good. (Which made me think of how this affects language and art). Simplifying it: throughout the millions of years of evolution, creatures needed to pay careful attention to what might harm them and this survival need of fixating on the negative was carried into the present.
After this introductory part, what follows is basically a manual for calm. Presupposed, or what’s implicit throughout, is that humans no longer have reason, as their ancestors, to live in constant fear. Which left me confused given how bleak things are for many throughout the world. In other words, this is a self-help kind of book. The practices here, mostly derived from Buddhist practices, are methodical to a clinical level, with suggestions of when to use which for corresponding crisis/worry/trigger.
I have been practicing some meditation exercises for a few years, and what I have learned and continue to learn, that though establishing a consistent practice is good, the methodical often fails, and one ends up feeling worse. Perhaps the intent was pure, the writer sounded honest in his interview and in this book, but circumstance being what it is and self-help’s promise of improvement following prescribed steps, I don’t believe a person in crisis will refer to the steps given to bring themselves out of it. I wish the book had stuck to its earlier portion, tracing the mind’s response to both real, imminent, and imagined fear and the evolution through the ages, but I guess it’s harder to market and sell that than it would a book giving methodical steps to alleviate.
The first part of the book was the most interesting for me. In it Hanson discusses neuroplasticity, that incredible discovery that neural pathways can be altered and changed, even in older already “developed” minds, and the ways meditation practices can change the brain. In this earlier section, one also learns about the evolution of the mind. The reason why we pay more attention to harm, evil, and, generally, the bad and wrong than we do the moments of joy, and, generally, the good. (Which made me think of how this affects language and art). Simplifying it: throughout the millions of years of evolution, creatures needed to pay careful attention to what might harm them and this survival need of fixating on the negative was carried into the present.
After this introductory part, what follows is basically a manual for calm. Presupposed, or what’s implicit throughout, is that humans no longer have reason, as their ancestors, to live in constant fear. Which left me confused given how bleak things are for many throughout the world. In other words, this is a self-help kind of book. The practices here, mostly derived from Buddhist practices, are methodical to a clinical level, with suggestions of when to use which for corresponding crisis/worry/trigger.
I have been practicing some meditation exercises for a few years, and what I have learned and continue to learn, that though establishing a consistent practice is good, the methodical often fails, and one ends up feeling worse. Perhaps the intent was pure, the writer sounded honest in his interview and in this book, but circumstance being what it is and self-help’s promise of improvement following prescribed steps, I don’t believe a person in crisis will refer to the steps given to bring themselves out of it. I wish the book had stuck to its earlier portion, tracing the mind’s response to both real, imminent, and imagined fear and the evolution through the ages, but I guess it’s harder to market and sell that than it would a book giving methodical steps to alleviate.
March 21, 2018
Are there hidden powers in everyday POSITIVE experiences? Neuropsychologist Rick Hanson answers this question with brain science, psychology, and practical “how- to” advice. This is not another book that boasts how to wallpaper negative thinking with positive thinking. Hanson instructs how to enrich and absorb the positives in your life, how to create solid positive experiences, find the good inside the bad, let go of the past, let go of criticizing, reduce worry and anxiety, grow yourself to become generous, kind, and exercise more compassion. All this helps positive brain building (responsive mode of the brain). He talks a lot about ‘negativity bias,’ which we all have and which dominates most of our thinking. So, switching gears to positive perspectives takes conscious effort both in external conditioning and internal conditioning in order to build inner strengths. The basic idea here is that ‘what flows through your thinking brain changes your brain.’ What I got out of this book was that “taking in the good” and “practicing good action” helps you see the good in yourself, in the world, and other people. And it’s easier than you might think. You will learn about the quality of fulfillment in relationships and how to upgrade all of your thinking in your work, family, friends. Seems to me we all need this book. Highly recommended. I read this book from my local library.
December 29, 2013
The science behind brain plasticity is one of the foundations of this book. It not merely a "think positive" book as it actually speaks to the issue of ongoing brain neuron development and processes that actually impact hardwiring.
August 8, 2014
Loved this book. Mindfulness has been a life changer for me, but I found a lot of chaff with the wheat. I am skeptical that regular mediation past a point and long retreats make a difference.
I wanted a way to bring mindfulness to life and not something left on the sit or at the retreat.
I knew current research on our minds and learning theory would be key.
Small repetitive behaviors are the most reinforcing for continuation of that behavior has been long know and Rick Hanson has amply demonstrated how mindfulness can be brought to everyday life.
We are so hungry for healing, love, etc. that many often give far too much power to religious leaders (eastern spirituality included). Hasn't anyone read Luther's condemnation of a central font of spirituality?
This method along with other neuro scientific breakthroughs can free us from the often selfish grasp of "spiritual leaders" and lead us to personal freedom and wise decision making in life.
I wanted a way to bring mindfulness to life and not something left on the sit or at the retreat.
I knew current research on our minds and learning theory would be key.
Small repetitive behaviors are the most reinforcing for continuation of that behavior has been long know and Rick Hanson has amply demonstrated how mindfulness can be brought to everyday life.
We are so hungry for healing, love, etc. that many often give far too much power to religious leaders (eastern spirituality included). Hasn't anyone read Luther's condemnation of a central font of spirituality?
This method along with other neuro scientific breakthroughs can free us from the often selfish grasp of "spiritual leaders" and lead us to personal freedom and wise decision making in life.
November 14, 2013
I've read many books on mindfulness and re-training your brain, so I wasn't sure this would really have anything unique to offer. Surprisingly it did. It really approaches things from a different angle, and if what the author says is true, this could offer some real relief for a lot of people (including myself) who have depression, anxiety, and similar issues. The techniques he teaches are extremely simple and can be done quickly and conveniently and in so many different situations, a person would be hard-pressed to not find time or opportunity to do them.
He specifically mentions the only people who wouldn't be able to apply the techniques are people with severe depression or people who are in extreme physical pain and can't focus on something other than that. I can't give the book five stars yet, but if it does end up helping me I will certainly come back and change that =)
He specifically mentions the only people who wouldn't be able to apply the techniques are people with severe depression or people who are in extreme physical pain and can't focus on something other than that. I can't give the book five stars yet, but if it does end up helping me I will certainly come back and change that =)
October 6, 2017
The takeaway from this book: when good things happen, don't brush 'em off your shoulder, but rather, let them marinate into your being. Having a stronger reaction to the positive is called "approach orientation" and lends itself to setting and reaching goals.
For those who experience depression, anxiety, etc. it's often due to letting what we attribute bad feelings to marinate, allowing the good stuff to be brushed off.
Rick champions developing inner strengths (common sense, integrity, positivity, inner peace, determination and a warm heart) to combat what we can attribute negativity to in life. An orientation of liking and wanting, with an emphasis on liking w/o wanting is suggested as the path to feeling happiest. I would agree at first glance, but lacking desire entirely can be a few steps away from developing a learned apathy, rather than the zen quality Hanson likely intended. Perhaps the idea is to want something, but not become attached to the outcome after trying for it, and to like and appreciate what is already accessible and within reach. He also says to enjoy low hanging fruit. Any ambitious individual would be put off by this idea, but it makes sense to strive for more, while enjoying what's less, but enough.
Other stuff:
- Combine compassion and assertiveness to become most open to the depths of intimacy
- "The hole does not get rid of the donut"
- Activity: make a list of emotions you'd like to "take in" and ways to experience this more often, and actively engage in acting out these activities once per day for at least 2 weeks.
For those who experience depression, anxiety, etc. it's often due to letting what we attribute bad feelings to marinate, allowing the good stuff to be brushed off.
Rick champions developing inner strengths (common sense, integrity, positivity, inner peace, determination and a warm heart) to combat what we can attribute negativity to in life. An orientation of liking and wanting, with an emphasis on liking w/o wanting is suggested as the path to feeling happiest. I would agree at first glance, but lacking desire entirely can be a few steps away from developing a learned apathy, rather than the zen quality Hanson likely intended. Perhaps the idea is to want something, but not become attached to the outcome after trying for it, and to like and appreciate what is already accessible and within reach. He also says to enjoy low hanging fruit. Any ambitious individual would be put off by this idea, but it makes sense to strive for more, while enjoying what's less, but enough.
Other stuff:
- Combine compassion and assertiveness to become most open to the depths of intimacy
- "The hole does not get rid of the donut"
- Activity: make a list of emotions you'd like to "take in" and ways to experience this more often, and actively engage in acting out these activities once per day for at least 2 weeks.
September 29, 2015
This book is a balm. The audiobook is a balm with the fairy dust of Rick Hanson's soothing voice mixed in. I have become a de fact Rick Hanson fangirl. Whenever I encounter difficulty or find myself struggling to take in the good, I think, WWRHD (What Would Rick Hanson Do?) Lots of people prefer the meditations of Thich nhat hanh and Jon Kabat Zinn and while they are wonderful too, let me tell you, Rick Hanson, with his friendly old man ways and dashing charm, will change your life. I would recommend this book to everyone in the world so that they can lessen self imposed suffering and learn to marvel in the daily joys we are given. But I would not recommend it to Dick Cheney because he does not deserve it.
September 4, 2016
I can just imagine giving this book to my clients. It seems too simple to be true. People want to think it's more complicated than this. But it really is this simple. The way you allow yourself to think really does change your life. Think differently and your life will change. We have an incredible lack of discipline over our thoughts. This book will teach you some really simple ways to think differently and change your brain structure. Over time, this will create more happiness, more peace, more contentment. It really does work. But it really IS work; it is so easy to be lazy with our thoughts.
April 21, 2016
The book's technique for changing our baseline attitude/happiness seems plausible. I will try it.
Why only 2 stars? The book is guilty of a crime I cannot tolerate: too much filler. This book could have been just 10 pages, and single-sided at that!
Why only 2 stars? The book is guilty of a crime I cannot tolerate: too much filler. This book could have been just 10 pages, and single-sided at that!
April 15, 2019
Here is a book that finally explains in detail how the evolutional development of the human mind kept us safe, but hasn't really kept up with our social evolution. In a word, our emotional biases toward danger, scarcity or hostile others once kept us ahead of saber-toothed tigers, quicksand and enemy tribes. In the 21st century, our automatic responses may make us one of the Fortune 500, but get us there at the risk of heart attack, adrenal overload and nervous depression. The human brain has developed a tendency to stay focused on perceived dangers and risks. Basically, it responds to taking out a mortgage the same way it would have responded to one's being attacked by a woolly mammoth.
The good news? Rick Hanson writes exercises that each individual can do to ease our natural tendencies to focus on the bad. Based on research that shows the beneficial effects of meditation and self-directed thought, Dr. Hanson encourages us to "take in the good" and absorb the many pleasant aspects of our lives. Unlike "positive thinking," Dr. Hanson doesn't advocate forgetting about distressing experiences. He challenges his readers to not take the good for granted and let the effects of positive feelings (safety, comfort, satisfaction, inclusion) drive our response to life's vagaries. In the end, he states, reducing the impact of negative emotion leads to a better emotional life, healthy security, and increased ability to relate others.
The good news? Rick Hanson writes exercises that each individual can do to ease our natural tendencies to focus on the bad. Based on research that shows the beneficial effects of meditation and self-directed thought, Dr. Hanson encourages us to "take in the good" and absorb the many pleasant aspects of our lives. Unlike "positive thinking," Dr. Hanson doesn't advocate forgetting about distressing experiences. He challenges his readers to not take the good for granted and let the effects of positive feelings (safety, comfort, satisfaction, inclusion) drive our response to life's vagaries. In the end, he states, reducing the impact of negative emotion leads to a better emotional life, healthy security, and increased ability to relate others.
January 12, 2018
This is a practical, helpful book. The big idea is that neurologically we are programmed (or at least tend) to focus on the negative. Such negativity is harmful for a variety of reasons, but we can work on focusing on the positive. The method for doing so is Hanson's acronym HEAL:
Have a positive experience. Big or small.
Enrich that experience. Focus on it, think about different aspects of it.
Absorb the experience. Imagine it enveloping you, sinking into you, or otherwise becoming part of you, physically and emotionally.
Link the experience to negative experiences. Be able to step back and contemplate negative experiences (big or small) but then have a positive experience to switch to in order to overcome the negative.
The book is somewhat repetitive (especially the last chapter), but the big idea and HEAL method are definitely helpful. As a Christian, I see how this ties in to some deeper spiritual practices (cf. Proverbs 3:5ff and Philippians 4:6-7) that have clear physical and emotional benefits as well.
Have a positive experience. Big or small.
Enrich that experience. Focus on it, think about different aspects of it.
Absorb the experience. Imagine it enveloping you, sinking into you, or otherwise becoming part of you, physically and emotionally.
Link the experience to negative experiences. Be able to step back and contemplate negative experiences (big or small) but then have a positive experience to switch to in order to overcome the negative.
The book is somewhat repetitive (especially the last chapter), but the big idea and HEAL method are definitely helpful. As a Christian, I see how this ties in to some deeper spiritual practices (cf. Proverbs 3:5ff and Philippians 4:6-7) that have clear physical and emotional benefits as well.
December 17, 2014
This book is part neuropsychology, part self-help. I appreciated the scientific parts a lot more than where the four-step technique came in.
Perhaps this book would be better consumed in audio format given all the practical exercises.
An interesting read overall.
Perhaps this book would be better consumed in audio format given all the practical exercises.
An interesting read overall.
January 6, 2023
A good book for those of us with brain chemistry that is NOT hardwired for happiness lol. Gets very redundant but also that may be why it's stuck with me
December 6, 2013
This fascinating, illuminating read is truly genius!
This scientifically based book presents an informative insight into achieving happiness in everyday life, instilling a sense of peace and calm contentment within our minds. Rick Hanson {author of bestselling ‘Buddha’s Brain’} is a masterful writer, who makes everything so clear and comprehendible so that anyone can gain a great deal from reading this book. Using simple methods can in practise change our brain so that we do not dwell on the negative; therefore by focusing on the positive aspects of life we are in essence gaining maximum fulfilment and enjoyment everyday.
At first, being a rather pessimistic and often negative {somewhat doubting} person I was unsure of this book being of any help. I was however absolutely delighted by how this book didn’t just exceed all expectations but that it actually works! It is targeted towards anyone who is curious and seeks something impacting and interesting to read, hence I would highly recommend it to all. I have learnt so much about positive psychology and how it makes such a difference to our well being, in life and in everything that we do and aim to do for the future. This new brain science of contentment, calm and confidence is ultimately satisfying, uplifting and practical {as you can apply it in your own personal lifestyle}.
Thought provoking and profoundly meaningful this is a book that certainly makes you think by altering your perception upon life and the way you regard things/ situations etc. Including examples and helpful hints and tips this brainy book is not to be missed!
I won a copy of Rick Hanson’s book ‘Hardwiring Happiness’ through a book giveaway…and I am so eternally grateful.
This scientifically based book presents an informative insight into achieving happiness in everyday life, instilling a sense of peace and calm contentment within our minds. Rick Hanson {author of bestselling ‘Buddha’s Brain’} is a masterful writer, who makes everything so clear and comprehendible so that anyone can gain a great deal from reading this book. Using simple methods can in practise change our brain so that we do not dwell on the negative; therefore by focusing on the positive aspects of life we are in essence gaining maximum fulfilment and enjoyment everyday.
At first, being a rather pessimistic and often negative {somewhat doubting} person I was unsure of this book being of any help. I was however absolutely delighted by how this book didn’t just exceed all expectations but that it actually works! It is targeted towards anyone who is curious and seeks something impacting and interesting to read, hence I would highly recommend it to all. I have learnt so much about positive psychology and how it makes such a difference to our well being, in life and in everything that we do and aim to do for the future. This new brain science of contentment, calm and confidence is ultimately satisfying, uplifting and practical {as you can apply it in your own personal lifestyle}.
Thought provoking and profoundly meaningful this is a book that certainly makes you think by altering your perception upon life and the way you regard things/ situations etc. Including examples and helpful hints and tips this brainy book is not to be missed!
I won a copy of Rick Hanson’s book ‘Hardwiring Happiness’ through a book giveaway…and I am so eternally grateful.
January 16, 2014
Interesting book... This book was basically about mindfulness and awareness, in particular of the good things in life. It discusses how our brains evolved to notice the negative things in our environments as a survival mechanism, and how our brains have become naturally biased towards the negative. The primary aim of the book was to present the idea that through certain practices, in particular the having of good experiences and the strengthening of them in our daily lives, we can re-wire our brains to become less biased towards the negative, and more positive and happy in our lives. Those positives will include a greater sense in achieving what are referred to as "core needs" - a sense of security and safety, a sense of contentment and accomplishment, and a sense of connection and love. This book is a good introduction to mindfulness of the good, and offers plenty of practices to apply in various situations of life, as well as a decent bibliography of other books and articles for further study.
March 9, 2019
In the beginning and middle sections of the book, I found a lot of tools quite useful, even if some areas were repetitive. Towards the end, I started to lose focus because the guided tools I thought weren't meant to be read, but practiced. I borrowed this book from the library, so admittedly I skipped a few sections because I was feeling restless reading the same pattern over and over, even if the author gives you a head's up. Overall, this book is great for someone who has been coping with anxiety or depression for long bouts of time and is really looking to reshape their brain. I'm fascinated with neuroscience, and loved the clinical parts of this book.
December 17, 2014
Maybe it's because i've labored under the burder of a "grumpy amygdala" all my life, but it was a relief to read an explanation of my journey with the "black dog" that didn't resort to Oprah-esque platitudes.
Hanson provides data to demonstrate that those of us who walk in darkness do not suffer from a character flaw, but rather entered the world several yards behind the start line.
He also offers explicit techniques to wrench your amygdala into a better direction.
thank you for such an enlightening work.
Hanson provides data to demonstrate that those of us who walk in darkness do not suffer from a character flaw, but rather entered the world several yards behind the start line.
He also offers explicit techniques to wrench your amygdala into a better direction.
thank you for such an enlightening work.
May 22, 2014
It's a original book. The ideia is very simple: our brain is like velcro for bad things, and like teflon for good ones. The reason is that our brain evolved to be like this to increase our chance to survive. But we can chance this by pratice and still be a very realistic person. We can be happier and still keep our feet on the ground. I highly recommend this book.
February 8, 2018
Easy and simple, very practical and sometimes hypnotic. A rather good book.
Read
November 6, 2018As you get closer to the end chapters it becomes repetitive
April 23, 2021
The first chapter rocks tits. The following 150 pages feel like a therapy student padding their essay word count. This could’ve been a pamphlet.
August 5, 2021
This is a good book that reminds us to focus on the positive. Naturally our minds hold on to and ruminate on the negative, but by mindfully acknowledging the good and letting it sink in, creating an experience (even a few short mindful moments), we will be more content and consistently happy. The book feels a little bit redundant, but there are some great reminders about noticing or creating positive experiences. Here are some good quotes:
"When's the last time you stopped for ten seconds to feel and take in one of the positive moments that happen in even the most hectic day? If you don't take those extra seconds to enjoy and stay with the experience, it passes (p. xxvi)."
"This book is about one simple thing: the hidden power of everyday positive experiences to change your brain--and therefore your life--for the better (p. xxvi)."
"Take in the good, which will naturally grow more joy, calm, and strength inside you (p. xxvi)."
"If I let the good fact become a good experience, not just an idea, and then stayed with it for at least a few breaths, not brushing it off or moving on fast to something else, it felt like something good was sinking into me, becoming a part of me (p. 3)."
"How you feel and act... is determined by three factors: the challenges you face, the vulnerabilities these challenges grind on, and the strengths you have for meeting your challenges and protecting your vulnerabilities (p. 5)."
"Be mindful... staying present in moment by moment (p. 8)."
"The brain is the organ that learns, so it is designed to be changed by your experiences (p. 10)."
"Your experiences of happiness, worry, love, and anxiety can make real changes in your neural networks... Your attention is like a combination spotlight and vacuum cleaner: It highlights what it lands on and then sucks it into your brain--for better or worse... the mind takes it shape from what it rests upon (p. 11)."
"If you keep resting your mind on self-criticism, worries, grumbling about others, hurts, and stress, then your brain will be shaped into greater reactivity, vulnerability to anxiety and depressed mood, a narrow focus on threats and losses, and inclinations toward anger, sadness, and guilt. On the other hand, if you keep resting your mind on good events and conditions... pleasant feelings, the things you do get done, physical pleasures, and your good intentions and qualities, then over time your brain will take a different shape, one with strength and resilience hardwired into it... a realistically optimistic outlook, a positive mood, and a sense of worth. Looking back over the past week or so, where has your mind been mainly resting (p. 12)?"
"What you pay attention to... is the primary shaper of your brain (p. 12)."
"If you want to feel more loved, look for and stay with experiences in which you feel included, seen, appreciated, liked, or cherished (p. 13)."
"Each person has the power to change his or her brain for the better... self-directed neuroplasticity (p. 14)."
"Bit by bit, synapse by synapse, you can really build happiness into your brain... by repeatedly taking in the good (p. 15)."
"If your boss gives you an excellent performance review that contains just one piece of critical feedback in a bucket of praise, you'll likely focus on that one negative comment (p. 21)."
"Negativity leads to more negativity in a very vicious circle (p. 23)."
"What role does fear play in your life (p. 25)?"
"Something bad about a person is better remembered than something good... Most good news has little or no lasting effect on implicit memory systems in the brain (p. 26)."
"In most cases, we don't consistently and systematically take the extra seconds to install these experiences in the brain (p. 28)."
"Inner strengths such as happiness and resilience come mainly from positive experiences. But unless we pay mindful, sustained attention to them, most positive experiences flow through our brains like water through a sieve (p. 31)."
"Your brain is the master regulator of your body. In its responsive mode, it tells your body to conserve energy and to refuel and repair itself (p. 40)."
"Positive circles grow (p. 42)."
"These two ways in which the brain operates, responsive and reactive... are the foundation of human nature (p. 50)."
"You can use your mind to change your brain for the better (p. 52)."
"Repeatedly internalizing positive experiences builds up inner strengths so you can meet life's challenges without fear, frustration, or heartache (p. 52)."
"'When I went for a run... I felt good. When I stayed with how this felt, it was like the good feelings were soaking into my mind from the body up (p. 59).'"
"When you tilt toward the good, you're not denying or resisting the bad. You're simply acknowledging, enjoying, and using the good (p. 60)."
"1. Have a positive experience
2. Enrich it.
3. Absorb it.
4. Link positive and negative material (p. 60)."
"Create a positive experience for yourself... let it fill your mind (p. 61)."
"Notice something pleasant... Find something good in your immediate situation... Think of something you are glad about... Think of some things that help you feel strong, peaceful, grateful, happy, loved, loving (p. 62)."
"If the negative material hijacks your attention, drop it and focus only on the positive (p. 63)."
"People take in the good in different ways (p. 64)."
"It takes a little effort to take in the good... By taking just a few extra seconds to stay with a positive experience... you'll help turn a passing mental state into lasting neural structure (p. 70)."
"Taking in the good is a way to be active rather than passive... This practice brings you into the present moment and reduces rumination, that repetitive rehashing of things in your mind that fosters mental and physical health problems (p. 70)."
"Good facts do not cancel bad ones, bad facts do not cancel good ones... Good facts abide and abound no matter how obscured (p. 72)."
"Each day is like a winding path strewn with pearls and diamonds, emeralds and rubies, each one an opportunity for a positive experience. Unfortunately, most people hurry by without noticing them... But it doesn't have to be this way. With a little intention and skill, you can take some seconds here and there each day to weave a handful of these jewels into the fabric of your brain, your being, your life... gradually... they become the good that lasts (p. 73)."
"Most positive experiences are relatively brief and mild (p. 74)."
"When I hike in the hills near my home, the beautiful views, the sense of vitality, and the pleasure in being outdoors all blend together. But there is also value in learning to tune into the separate parts of your experience. Becoming more aware of all aspects of your experience gives you a greater sense of integration, of inner wholeness (p. 79)."
"Good thoughts include seeing yourself, others, the past, and the future more accurately; understanding how your actions lead to different results; and putting things in perspective (p. 80)."
"Feelings grow moods... moods grow feelings. A basic sense of contentment in life fosters feelings of thankfulness and joy (p. 81)."
"Our desires include hopes, wishes, longings, wants, and needs. They also include motivations, inclinations, values, morals, aspirations, purposes, and goals, as well as aversion, drivenness, clinging, craving, and any addiction (p. 82)."
"When you are experiencing a positive desire, notice it and take it in (p. 82)."
"Find something pleasurable or useful in the foreground of your awareness (p. 84)."
"Learn what it's like to shift things from the back to the front of your mind (p. 85)."
"We explored how to notice a good experience that was already present. The other way to have a good experience is to create one (p. 91)."
"Finding positive meaning in ordinary events is a good way to create a positive experience (p. 94)."
"On New Year's Day, I started a Good Year box. Each day I put a note inside about something good that happened. I will read them all on New Year's Eve. Now when a little something good happens in my day, I feel it instead of busily glossing over it (p. 95)."
"Consider a friend's positive qualities... Can you see your own good qualities?... You are telling the truth about yourself, much as you would tell the truth about a friend (p. 97)."
"Admit the truth about your good qualities (p. 98)."
"The future is another kind of treasure chest that's full of potential good experiences (p. 100)."
"Talking about good things with others intensifies the experience (p. 100)."
"Consider past hardships. Did these make you stronger in any way? What lessons did you learn from them (p. 101)?"
"Speaking kindly, or being generous are warmhearted opportunities for a positive experience (p. 102)."
"Take pleasure in the joys and successes of others (p. 103)."
"Notice a positive experience that's already present in the foreground... [or] background. Create a positive experience by finding good facts in your current setting... recent events... ongoing conditions... personal qualities... the past... the future... sharing the good with others, finding the good in the bad, caring about others, seeing good in the lives of others, imagining good facts, producing good facts, directly evoking a positive experience [or] seeing life as opportunity (p. 107)."
"Let yourself have your good experience. Be devoted to it... Deliberately apply your attention to the experience and then sustain it (p. 113)."
"Try to experience good experiences in your whole body (p. 115)."
"Use a soft half smile to lift your mood (p. 116)."
"Notice things as they are changing, which also brings a sense of novelty (p. 117)."
"Be aware of how an experience that you're takin gin could help you, why it's valuable (p. 118)."
"Try to have the willingness, even the courage, to be changed, to grow to become a little different as a result (p. 120)."
"Come into a sense of being present with whatever is moving through your awareness (p. 121)."
"Be aware of any unnecessary guarding, bracing, or anxiety--and see if you can let it go (p. 122)."
"Call to mind more things that bring you feelings of fullness and well-being (p. 122)."
"Know what it's like to feel loved. Recognize some of the ways you are a good person, that you care about others. Be aware of some of your contributions to others, some of your abilities. Let feelings of worth sink in (p. 123)."
"Unpleasant experiences are a natural part of life. And some of them have benefits. Sorrow can tenderize your heart, hardship can make you stronger, and anger can energize you to deal with mistreatment (p. 126)."
"Infuse positive influences into negative material (p. 131)."
"If you don't replace weeds with flowers, the weeds come back (p. 140)."
"Bring to mind one or more times when you attained a goal (p. 142)."
"Everyday life holds many opportunities to learn something important and shift a bit as a result (p. 147)."
"One key to a good life is learning to want the things that are good for you that, honestly, you don't particularly want (p. 148)."
"Each morning I take a moment to feel grateful for my husband. I remember things I appreciate about him (p. 156)."
"Appreciating the good aspects of a relationship will feed your heart, help you feel good, and put hassles and irritations in perspective... take in positive experiences that happen in it (p. 157)."
"Find some excitement about learning new things (p. 161)."
"In relationships, appreciating and internalizing what is actually good in them will usually make each person feel better and strengthen the bond between them (p. 171)."
"Try a different strength daily (P. 174)."
"For a breath or three, be aware of what's generally happening in your mind and body without trying to change it... Bring to mind one or more things you are grateful for or glad about... Let yourself feel appreciated, liked, or loved. Be aware of your own warmth or caring for others... Then get a sense of peace, contentment, and love woven together in your mind (p. 176)."
"Create a feeling of protection by thinking about resources inside you and in your life that could shield you, such as capabilities, virtues, credentials, friends, and family (p. 178)."
"Create a feeling of relaxation (p. 182)."
"Notice any sense of refuge that's already present in your mind (p. 183)."
"Tune into signals from your body that all is well (p. 187)."
"Know that you will still be all right even if you've got to deal with hard things (p. 188)."
"Notice any sense of peace already present in your body or mind (p. 188)."
"Help the feeling of peace be as strong and lasting as possible (p. 189)."
"You can build up both your capacity to be satisfied and your sense of feeling satisfied by regularly taking in pleasure, gratitude and gladness, positive emotion, accomplishment and agency, enthusiasm, and the fullness of this moment, and contentment (p. 190)."
"Enjoying the taste of toasted raisin bread or the humor in a cartoon may not seem like much, but simple pleasures like these ease emotional upsets, lift your mood, and enrich your life... Opportunities for pleasure are all around you, especially if you include things like the rainbow glitter of the tiny grains of sand in a sidewalk, the sound of water falling into a tub, the sense of connection in talking with a friend, or the reassurance that comes from the stove working when you need to make dinner (p. 190)."
"Scan the senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell for pleasures in the background or foreground (p. 191)."
"Be aware of pleasure and any pain, and keep the positive experience of pleasure more prominent in awareness (p. 192)."
"Notice feelings of gratitude or gladness that are already present in your mind (p. 192)."
"Create an experience of gratitude or gladness by looking for things to feel grateful for or glad about (p. 193)."
"Notice whenever there's any good feeling in the foreground or background of your awareness (p. 194)."
"Open to the good feeling. Let it fill you and become more intense. Stay with it, help it last, make room for it in your mind. Find ways to embody it (p. 195)."
"You accomplish many things every day, most of them relatively small and easy to overlook, such as getting the kids off to school, finishing a shift at work, buying groceries, or returning a phone call (p. 195)."
"Agency--being able to make things happen--is the opposite of helplessness (p. 196)."
"Create a sense of accomplishment or agency by paying special attention to things you get done over the course of a day. Reflect on a major achievement, including the many little achievements that led up to it (p. 196)."
"I think the sweet spot in life is to pursue your dreams and take care of others with your whole heart while not getting fixated on or stressed out about the results (p. 198)."
"Embody your enthusiasm by revealing it to others, letting your face light up, or moving and speaking more quickly (p. 199)."
"Let yourself become both contented and lively (p. 199)."
"Create contentment by thinking of things in the past or present that made you feel happy or fulfilled (p. 203)."
"Once you find contentment, open to it, giving over to it and letting it fill you. Help the feeling of contentment to be as strong and lasting as possible (p. 203)."
"Be mindful of contentment (p. 204)."
"You can build up both our capacity to be connected and your sense of feeling connected by regularly taking in a sense of feeling cared about, feeling valued, compassion and kindness, self-compassion, compassionate assertiveness, feeling like a good person, and love (p. 204)."
"Notice any ways you already feel included, seen, liked, or loved (p. 206)."
"Open to feeling cared about (p. 206)."
"Create experiences of feeling valued by remembering a time you were complimented or acknowledged; a time you knew you were appreciated, perhaps after some contribution or generosity; a time you were wanted, sought after, or chosen... Imagine a cheering squad of friends and family rooting for you, clapping and praising you (p. 208)."
"Let compassion and kindness sink into you, like the sun's warmth into your skin (p. 211)."
"Keep renewing your warmheartedness (p. 211)."
"Self-compassion lowers stress and self-criticism while increasing resilience and self-worth (p. 211)."
"Keep returning to self-compassion, not letting yourself get hijacked by upsets or pain (p. 212)."
"Everyone has good qualities... Recognizing these qualities in yourself is simply seeing reality with clear eyes (p. 213)."
"Pick a good character quality that you know you have... and think of one or more examples of it. Be aware of any blocks to recognizing the fact of this good quality (p. 214)."
"Keep reestablishing a strong sense of your goodness, including aspects of it such as caring, decency, and good intentions (p. 215)."
"Compassionate assertiveness is where heart and strength come together, the twin pillars of healthy relationships (p. 215)."
"Love is a deep, powerful, often intense feeling of affection, caring, sweetness, and commitment (p. 217)."
"Create a sense of being loved by bringing to mind someone who loves you, or has loved you. Recall or imagine being with this person... Be aware of the love for you in his or her heart (p. 218)."
"Create a sense of being loving by bringing to mind someone you love. Think of those you love, like, or appreciate. Think of people for whom you feel compassion. Think of people you feel happy to see. Nurture the feeling of love itself. Get a sense of love flowing outward from you (p. 219)."
"When's the last time you stopped for ten seconds to feel and take in one of the positive moments that happen in even the most hectic day? If you don't take those extra seconds to enjoy and stay with the experience, it passes (p. xxvi)."
"This book is about one simple thing: the hidden power of everyday positive experiences to change your brain--and therefore your life--for the better (p. xxvi)."
"Take in the good, which will naturally grow more joy, calm, and strength inside you (p. xxvi)."
"If I let the good fact become a good experience, not just an idea, and then stayed with it for at least a few breaths, not brushing it off or moving on fast to something else, it felt like something good was sinking into me, becoming a part of me (p. 3)."
"How you feel and act... is determined by three factors: the challenges you face, the vulnerabilities these challenges grind on, and the strengths you have for meeting your challenges and protecting your vulnerabilities (p. 5)."
"Be mindful... staying present in moment by moment (p. 8)."
"The brain is the organ that learns, so it is designed to be changed by your experiences (p. 10)."
"Your experiences of happiness, worry, love, and anxiety can make real changes in your neural networks... Your attention is like a combination spotlight and vacuum cleaner: It highlights what it lands on and then sucks it into your brain--for better or worse... the mind takes it shape from what it rests upon (p. 11)."
"If you keep resting your mind on self-criticism, worries, grumbling about others, hurts, and stress, then your brain will be shaped into greater reactivity, vulnerability to anxiety and depressed mood, a narrow focus on threats and losses, and inclinations toward anger, sadness, and guilt. On the other hand, if you keep resting your mind on good events and conditions... pleasant feelings, the things you do get done, physical pleasures, and your good intentions and qualities, then over time your brain will take a different shape, one with strength and resilience hardwired into it... a realistically optimistic outlook, a positive mood, and a sense of worth. Looking back over the past week or so, where has your mind been mainly resting (p. 12)?"
"What you pay attention to... is the primary shaper of your brain (p. 12)."
"If you want to feel more loved, look for and stay with experiences in which you feel included, seen, appreciated, liked, or cherished (p. 13)."
"Each person has the power to change his or her brain for the better... self-directed neuroplasticity (p. 14)."
"Bit by bit, synapse by synapse, you can really build happiness into your brain... by repeatedly taking in the good (p. 15)."
"If your boss gives you an excellent performance review that contains just one piece of critical feedback in a bucket of praise, you'll likely focus on that one negative comment (p. 21)."
"Negativity leads to more negativity in a very vicious circle (p. 23)."
"What role does fear play in your life (p. 25)?"
"Something bad about a person is better remembered than something good... Most good news has little or no lasting effect on implicit memory systems in the brain (p. 26)."
"In most cases, we don't consistently and systematically take the extra seconds to install these experiences in the brain (p. 28)."
"Inner strengths such as happiness and resilience come mainly from positive experiences. But unless we pay mindful, sustained attention to them, most positive experiences flow through our brains like water through a sieve (p. 31)."
"Your brain is the master regulator of your body. In its responsive mode, it tells your body to conserve energy and to refuel and repair itself (p. 40)."
"Positive circles grow (p. 42)."
"These two ways in which the brain operates, responsive and reactive... are the foundation of human nature (p. 50)."
"You can use your mind to change your brain for the better (p. 52)."
"Repeatedly internalizing positive experiences builds up inner strengths so you can meet life's challenges without fear, frustration, or heartache (p. 52)."
"'When I went for a run... I felt good. When I stayed with how this felt, it was like the good feelings were soaking into my mind from the body up (p. 59).'"
"When you tilt toward the good, you're not denying or resisting the bad. You're simply acknowledging, enjoying, and using the good (p. 60)."
"1. Have a positive experience
2. Enrich it.
3. Absorb it.
4. Link positive and negative material (p. 60)."
"Create a positive experience for yourself... let it fill your mind (p. 61)."
"Notice something pleasant... Find something good in your immediate situation... Think of something you are glad about... Think of some things that help you feel strong, peaceful, grateful, happy, loved, loving (p. 62)."
"If the negative material hijacks your attention, drop it and focus only on the positive (p. 63)."
"People take in the good in different ways (p. 64)."
"It takes a little effort to take in the good... By taking just a few extra seconds to stay with a positive experience... you'll help turn a passing mental state into lasting neural structure (p. 70)."
"Taking in the good is a way to be active rather than passive... This practice brings you into the present moment and reduces rumination, that repetitive rehashing of things in your mind that fosters mental and physical health problems (p. 70)."
"Good facts do not cancel bad ones, bad facts do not cancel good ones... Good facts abide and abound no matter how obscured (p. 72)."
"Each day is like a winding path strewn with pearls and diamonds, emeralds and rubies, each one an opportunity for a positive experience. Unfortunately, most people hurry by without noticing them... But it doesn't have to be this way. With a little intention and skill, you can take some seconds here and there each day to weave a handful of these jewels into the fabric of your brain, your being, your life... gradually... they become the good that lasts (p. 73)."
"Most positive experiences are relatively brief and mild (p. 74)."
"When I hike in the hills near my home, the beautiful views, the sense of vitality, and the pleasure in being outdoors all blend together. But there is also value in learning to tune into the separate parts of your experience. Becoming more aware of all aspects of your experience gives you a greater sense of integration, of inner wholeness (p. 79)."
"Good thoughts include seeing yourself, others, the past, and the future more accurately; understanding how your actions lead to different results; and putting things in perspective (p. 80)."
"Feelings grow moods... moods grow feelings. A basic sense of contentment in life fosters feelings of thankfulness and joy (p. 81)."
"Our desires include hopes, wishes, longings, wants, and needs. They also include motivations, inclinations, values, morals, aspirations, purposes, and goals, as well as aversion, drivenness, clinging, craving, and any addiction (p. 82)."
"When you are experiencing a positive desire, notice it and take it in (p. 82)."
"Find something pleasurable or useful in the foreground of your awareness (p. 84)."
"Learn what it's like to shift things from the back to the front of your mind (p. 85)."
"We explored how to notice a good experience that was already present. The other way to have a good experience is to create one (p. 91)."
"Finding positive meaning in ordinary events is a good way to create a positive experience (p. 94)."
"On New Year's Day, I started a Good Year box. Each day I put a note inside about something good that happened. I will read them all on New Year's Eve. Now when a little something good happens in my day, I feel it instead of busily glossing over it (p. 95)."
"Consider a friend's positive qualities... Can you see your own good qualities?... You are telling the truth about yourself, much as you would tell the truth about a friend (p. 97)."
"Admit the truth about your good qualities (p. 98)."
"The future is another kind of treasure chest that's full of potential good experiences (p. 100)."
"Talking about good things with others intensifies the experience (p. 100)."
"Consider past hardships. Did these make you stronger in any way? What lessons did you learn from them (p. 101)?"
"Speaking kindly, or being generous are warmhearted opportunities for a positive experience (p. 102)."
"Take pleasure in the joys and successes of others (p. 103)."
"Notice a positive experience that's already present in the foreground... [or] background. Create a positive experience by finding good facts in your current setting... recent events... ongoing conditions... personal qualities... the past... the future... sharing the good with others, finding the good in the bad, caring about others, seeing good in the lives of others, imagining good facts, producing good facts, directly evoking a positive experience [or] seeing life as opportunity (p. 107)."
"Let yourself have your good experience. Be devoted to it... Deliberately apply your attention to the experience and then sustain it (p. 113)."
"Try to experience good experiences in your whole body (p. 115)."
"Use a soft half smile to lift your mood (p. 116)."
"Notice things as they are changing, which also brings a sense of novelty (p. 117)."
"Be aware of how an experience that you're takin gin could help you, why it's valuable (p. 118)."
"Try to have the willingness, even the courage, to be changed, to grow to become a little different as a result (p. 120)."
"Come into a sense of being present with whatever is moving through your awareness (p. 121)."
"Be aware of any unnecessary guarding, bracing, or anxiety--and see if you can let it go (p. 122)."
"Call to mind more things that bring you feelings of fullness and well-being (p. 122)."
"Know what it's like to feel loved. Recognize some of the ways you are a good person, that you care about others. Be aware of some of your contributions to others, some of your abilities. Let feelings of worth sink in (p. 123)."
"Unpleasant experiences are a natural part of life. And some of them have benefits. Sorrow can tenderize your heart, hardship can make you stronger, and anger can energize you to deal with mistreatment (p. 126)."
"Infuse positive influences into negative material (p. 131)."
"If you don't replace weeds with flowers, the weeds come back (p. 140)."
"Bring to mind one or more times when you attained a goal (p. 142)."
"Everyday life holds many opportunities to learn something important and shift a bit as a result (p. 147)."
"One key to a good life is learning to want the things that are good for you that, honestly, you don't particularly want (p. 148)."
"Each morning I take a moment to feel grateful for my husband. I remember things I appreciate about him (p. 156)."
"Appreciating the good aspects of a relationship will feed your heart, help you feel good, and put hassles and irritations in perspective... take in positive experiences that happen in it (p. 157)."
"Find some excitement about learning new things (p. 161)."
"In relationships, appreciating and internalizing what is actually good in them will usually make each person feel better and strengthen the bond between them (p. 171)."
"Try a different strength daily (P. 174)."
"For a breath or three, be aware of what's generally happening in your mind and body without trying to change it... Bring to mind one or more things you are grateful for or glad about... Let yourself feel appreciated, liked, or loved. Be aware of your own warmth or caring for others... Then get a sense of peace, contentment, and love woven together in your mind (p. 176)."
"Create a feeling of protection by thinking about resources inside you and in your life that could shield you, such as capabilities, virtues, credentials, friends, and family (p. 178)."
"Create a feeling of relaxation (p. 182)."
"Notice any sense of refuge that's already present in your mind (p. 183)."
"Tune into signals from your body that all is well (p. 187)."
"Know that you will still be all right even if you've got to deal with hard things (p. 188)."
"Notice any sense of peace already present in your body or mind (p. 188)."
"Help the feeling of peace be as strong and lasting as possible (p. 189)."
"You can build up both your capacity to be satisfied and your sense of feeling satisfied by regularly taking in pleasure, gratitude and gladness, positive emotion, accomplishment and agency, enthusiasm, and the fullness of this moment, and contentment (p. 190)."
"Enjoying the taste of toasted raisin bread or the humor in a cartoon may not seem like much, but simple pleasures like these ease emotional upsets, lift your mood, and enrich your life... Opportunities for pleasure are all around you, especially if you include things like the rainbow glitter of the tiny grains of sand in a sidewalk, the sound of water falling into a tub, the sense of connection in talking with a friend, or the reassurance that comes from the stove working when you need to make dinner (p. 190)."
"Scan the senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell for pleasures in the background or foreground (p. 191)."
"Be aware of pleasure and any pain, and keep the positive experience of pleasure more prominent in awareness (p. 192)."
"Notice feelings of gratitude or gladness that are already present in your mind (p. 192)."
"Create an experience of gratitude or gladness by looking for things to feel grateful for or glad about (p. 193)."
"Notice whenever there's any good feeling in the foreground or background of your awareness (p. 194)."
"Open to the good feeling. Let it fill you and become more intense. Stay with it, help it last, make room for it in your mind. Find ways to embody it (p. 195)."
"You accomplish many things every day, most of them relatively small and easy to overlook, such as getting the kids off to school, finishing a shift at work, buying groceries, or returning a phone call (p. 195)."
"Agency--being able to make things happen--is the opposite of helplessness (p. 196)."
"Create a sense of accomplishment or agency by paying special attention to things you get done over the course of a day. Reflect on a major achievement, including the many little achievements that led up to it (p. 196)."
"I think the sweet spot in life is to pursue your dreams and take care of others with your whole heart while not getting fixated on or stressed out about the results (p. 198)."
"Embody your enthusiasm by revealing it to others, letting your face light up, or moving and speaking more quickly (p. 199)."
"Let yourself become both contented and lively (p. 199)."
"Create contentment by thinking of things in the past or present that made you feel happy or fulfilled (p. 203)."
"Once you find contentment, open to it, giving over to it and letting it fill you. Help the feeling of contentment to be as strong and lasting as possible (p. 203)."
"Be mindful of contentment (p. 204)."
"You can build up both our capacity to be connected and your sense of feeling connected by regularly taking in a sense of feeling cared about, feeling valued, compassion and kindness, self-compassion, compassionate assertiveness, feeling like a good person, and love (p. 204)."
"Notice any ways you already feel included, seen, liked, or loved (p. 206)."
"Open to feeling cared about (p. 206)."
"Create experiences of feeling valued by remembering a time you were complimented or acknowledged; a time you knew you were appreciated, perhaps after some contribution or generosity; a time you were wanted, sought after, or chosen... Imagine a cheering squad of friends and family rooting for you, clapping and praising you (p. 208)."
"Let compassion and kindness sink into you, like the sun's warmth into your skin (p. 211)."
"Keep renewing your warmheartedness (p. 211)."
"Self-compassion lowers stress and self-criticism while increasing resilience and self-worth (p. 211)."
"Keep returning to self-compassion, not letting yourself get hijacked by upsets or pain (p. 212)."
"Everyone has good qualities... Recognizing these qualities in yourself is simply seeing reality with clear eyes (p. 213)."
"Pick a good character quality that you know you have... and think of one or more examples of it. Be aware of any blocks to recognizing the fact of this good quality (p. 214)."
"Keep reestablishing a strong sense of your goodness, including aspects of it such as caring, decency, and good intentions (p. 215)."
"Compassionate assertiveness is where heart and strength come together, the twin pillars of healthy relationships (p. 215)."
"Love is a deep, powerful, often intense feeling of affection, caring, sweetness, and commitment (p. 217)."
"Create a sense of being loved by bringing to mind someone who loves you, or has loved you. Recall or imagine being with this person... Be aware of the love for you in his or her heart (p. 218)."
"Create a sense of being loving by bringing to mind someone you love. Think of those you love, like, or appreciate. Think of people for whom you feel compassion. Think of people you feel happy to see. Nurture the feeling of love itself. Get a sense of love flowing outward from you (p. 219)."
January 7, 2019
Zaczęło się całkiem fajnie, ale tę książkę można byłoby zawrzeć w 10 stronach i wyszło by na to samo. Ogólny wydźwięk: dostrzegaj drobne, dobre rzeczy i chloń je. Do tego odrobina naukowego tłumaczenia i tyle.
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