Little Book Of Yes

by Noah J. Goldstein, Robert B. Cialdini

From the authors of the international bestseller Yes!

This travel-sized handbook will become your go-to key for ensuring that the world says 'yes' to you, your ideas and your requests.

We all want to hear 'yes'. 'Yes' connects us to the world, and carries us into the future. So why do we find it so hard to get others to agree? And how can we improve our chances?

The Little Book of Yes contains 21 short essays that outline a range of effective persuasion strategies, each proven to increase the chances that someone will agree to your request. That someone could be a friend, a colleague, a partner, a lover, a manager, a sibling, a parent, even a stranger. The timeless principles and practical lessons in this collection can be used to tackle a variety of everyday challenges, from repairing a soured relationship to negotiating a higher fee for your work, from convincing a dithering friend to take action, to building your social network and personal brand.

Full of wisdom from the leaders in influence, with carefully curated advice, this little book is essential reading for any freelancer, manager, entrepreneur, parent or person who wants more from their world.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Communication, Business, Leadership

136 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2018

About the author

Noah Goldstein is a protege of Cialdini's. He is an assistant professor at the University of Chicago Graduate School of Business. He earned a Ph.D. in psychology under Robert Cialdini at Arizona State University in 2007, and he has published research with Cialdini in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Reviews

[Sean Goh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short snappy chapters with helpful 3 bullet point summaries. Condenses things found in Cialdini's Persuasion. Good starting point to the art of persuasion (NOT manipulation) and building connection and consensus.
___
The most effective persuaders are likely to be those who ask "how can I help?".

The happiest and healthiest environments are those where the exchange between individuals is proportionate, or equal.

Rather than ask for help from takers, we should ask for advice. It makes them feel important and may place them in a more helpful mindset.

When giving gifts, a cheat code to have a good rep for generosity is to give high-value gifts from low-value product categories (the best of something cheapish).

To build consensus, focus on the common goals that bind rather than divide you, the larger identity you share. Look first for a point that both parties agree upon, and make that central to your discussion.

Subtle cues in the environment, like diplomas on the wall, can help identify those experts.

Admitting a mistake can provide superior performers with an additional boost to their likeability. Though the pratfall effect only works if you are relatively competent in the first place.

Requesters tend to think of the economic costs people will incur if they say yes. In contrast potential helpers are much more likely to think about the social costs of saying no. As such people are far more likely to say "yes" than we expect.
It's far more productive to view asking for help as empowering.

Conversation rejections are actually quite rare provided that the first few moments of an exchange are focused on getting to know the person and seeking interesting facts about them.

When you are clear about your goal, find a story that will bring it to life.

The first step in getting someone to agree with you is often, to make them like you. Increase this possibility by identifying your commonalities.

The word "because" alone is quite good for smaller requests (going ahead in the queue) but less so for larger ones.

If..when..then implementation plan for training behaviour/response patterns.

Selection panels are often stingier when evaluating the initial candidates, because they know that giving high marks to an applicant early in the process won't leave them any flexibility to reward higher scores to a better performer later. So, all other things being equal, if you are in a competitive situation with three or more candidates for a single opportunity our advice is: go last.

Following (the crowd) helps us to fulfill two fundamental human needs - to connect with others and to gain their approval.

[Yaroslav Brahinets · Rating 5 out of 5]

Люблю читати книги в яких ти відчуваєш прогрес до завершення. Дійсно маленька збірка ідей та порад як схилити вашого співбесідника до потрібної думки. Більшість ідей додатково підтверджуються різноманітними експериментами.

Основною порадою я тут виділив мабуть пам'ятати про егоїстичність людськї натури. Безцінне вміння фокусуватись на співбесіднику, а не собі, подати прохання так щоб співбесідник сам захотів вам віддячити\допомогти, щоб він побачив в цьому вигоду для себе. Можна дати щось, похвалити, персоналізувати прохання. Люди краще реагують коли до них приходиш не за допомогою, а за порадою. Охочіше вам допоможуть і якщо знайдете щось спільне між собою, як ті солдати під час “Різдвяного Перемир’я” - вони хоч і були по різні боки зіткнення, та однаково були стомлені від війни, і все ж влаштували коротке перемирʼя щоб привітати один одного та зіграти разом у футбол. Деякі з порад в книзі виглядають маніпулятивними, проте дієвими, з такими варто бути обережним. З неочевидних раніше для мене моментів, я виділив, що втрати відчутніше за вигоди, тож можна загострити увагу слухача на тому що він може втратити; також чим відрізнитися (відстати) від інших (соціальний доказ).

Раджу книгу за велику насиченість цікавих порад на сторінку, невеликий розмір і низку наглядних експериментів. Прочитання можна доповнити відео від авторів: Science Of Persuasion

[Tuti · Rating 4 out of 5]

useful and fun to read, 21 short chapters concentrating strategies for getting (more) positive responses, experiences, interactions and memories. to read and re-read every now and then.

[Yesica Segovia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pequeño, conciso y científico. 10/10

[Dirk H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wie dit heeft ingekocht voor de boekwinkel is een absolute ster.

[Vita Mikuličiūtė · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trumpai, bet visai moksliškai ir žavingai apie tai, kaip surasti draugų, imti labiau pasitikėti savimi ir įtikinti kitus. Tik keista, kad nėra nuorodų yra cituojamus tyrimus.

[Antonio · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5 ⭐

Tan entretenido como repetitivo, sobre todo si aplicas el sentido común, funciona a modo de manual con situaciones muy reales. Tiene acceso a un montón de referencias que le dan un valor extra muy importante.

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

1. Giving
- activates the principle of reciprocity
- Giving with consideration and personalisation

2. Exchanging
- providing information, love, support

3. Gifting
- Ask people what they want
- Give high quality gifts

4. Cooperating
- Focus on common goals and larger identity
- Actively invite collaboration

5. Pausing
- Stay emotionally neutral when making decisions
- Try to evoke strong emotions

6. Compromising
- More likely to say yes on small thing after big ask
- Ideal look and prepared to receive

7. Knowledge
- demonstrate expertise and knowledge
- Include qualifications , get introduced

8. Admitting
- Be upfront about downsides of ideas to increase productivity and authenticity
- Embrace small flaws and admit mistakes

9. Asking
- Asking for help helps build bridges
- Asking is empowering

10. Conversing
- Increase networks and potential future
- Start conversations with strangers

11. Humanising
- Stories matter to humans
- Stories transport audiences, allowing them to form connections with the people in the narrative and, subsequently, to become more receptive to the claims of the underlying message. In fact, humanising messages and appeals can overwhelm audiences to the extent that their ability to detect inaccuracies and missteps in what is presented is often reduced. It seems that in addition to becoming emotionally moved we can also become intellectually defenceles

12. Liking
- Find a bond to link
- Similarities in interest, people, names

13. Complimenting
- Find genuine ways to make them feel listened too and make them feel seem
- Highlight positive attributes

14. Labelling
- Power of labels to identity affect actions
- Positive affirmations to actions

15. Reasoning
- always give reason behind request
- Add because to request

16. Committing
- Living up to writing down
- Challenge and attainability

17. Implementing
- Break down into simple viable steps
- If when then

18. Comparing
- Go last
- Favourable competitors

19. Following
- people will follow others leads
- Show people who have fine before

20. Losing
- Highlight what that stand to do
- Use competition
- Value your time

21. Ending
- make sure to end on high

[Melati Ekasari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very useful! Just like reading a to-do-list that is ready to be executed! Superlove!!!

[Fatima Mohammed · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is tiny, but mighty. It details 21 steps on how you can be more persuasive and optimise your chances to hear ‘yes’ when making requests. If you expect to get something, you need to give first; people are more likely to remember that favour and give it back. Exchange favours, even if not for yourself, it could be someone within your team or your circle, a way of paying forward. A little gift can go a long way, while picking one go for quality over price. If you are known to be cooperative, your chances double in having people offer you help in return. Practice the pause when in doubt, when overwhelmed, when tired; better wait to be fully-functional than make decisions at the wrong time. Some compromise can work wonders, but then always start big, never underestimate the value of your ideas, but make sure a plan B is ready to be pitched as well. It’s not enough to just share ideas with others, you have to know what you are talking about; do not shy away from sharing your achievements and accomplishments, even highlighting them for others to see. It is human to err, so whenever you find yourself in fault, take a moment to admit it, and better it if possible; if you can’t detect any flaws, ask others for feedback, it’ll only help you improve and grow. Getting what you want is one question away, people are more likely to respond positively than you imagine, to just go ahead and ask! The art of charming might be one conversation away, next time you are next to another human being who seems just as untroubled as you, make the first step and converse with them, you’ll be amazed of how great that would reflect on your journey. In a world that grows cold by the day, stories and pictures tend to give a more humanising dimension to offers and request, so keep that in mind. Forget about odds attract, if you are seeking more approval rates, dig in for similarities and highlight them. A small compliment goes a long way, so put in the effort to say a few genuine nice things before talking shop. Positive labels related to traits and qualities that are key to your request would prove quite efficient if you use them. Because can be the magic word that grants you all your requests provided there’s sense to them. If you want people to commit, you need to initiate that first; don’t hesitate to share your goals publicly, it might push you to commit more seriously. If you want to up your commitment ratio, set outlined and detailed goals using whens, wheres & hows and follow on them. To win a comparative battle, it’s not about setting the standard high from the get-go, it’s more about saving the best for last; make the most of it. Do you want more followers? Highlight your existing ones and show them all the similar things you have in common. Losses can be the turning point to sway people: this is what you stand to lose if you do / don’t do this, would be enough to be persuasive. Endings tend to stick longer in one’s memory, so make sure you end on high, with a big bang, or just on a good memory.

Persuasion is an art, a very subtle unconscious one, which can be used to sway people and get them to respond more positively and welcomingly to requests even in the most likely scenarios. You can harvest more Yesses along your way, if you understand how to use some or all of the these strategies.

[Deniz · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5

The Little Book of Yes! is really little. If you were to read it in a single sitting it wouldn’t take more than 2 hours.

The book shares some good information on persuading. There are 21 different tricks divided into chapters which are approx 5 pages long and all of them end with half-page key points & conclusions on the topic. So if I were to re-read it, it would take maybe 10 minutes at most. I think it’s well written without too much extra cites and unrelated information.

Personally enjoyed the fast read, might be a little too “generic” if you want something more detailed as it didn’t include anything too new or exciting in it.

[17 Feb 2019]

[Tyr · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a bite-sized information book about the psychology of getting people around you to say Yes more often, minus the detailed actionable that most self-help books hold, and the actual psychology. There is nothing original or new about what The Little Book of Yes expounds.

Points mentioned in each chapter managed to barely skim through the surface and followed a very formulaic writing style that I found easy to read and digest, but hard to take seriously. A point of practice starts with a story, followed by a research study or two to boost the information and make it appear more credible.

[Ashley Lhérisson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read of 21 short, practical ways to increase the chances that someone will agree to your requests. Good advice for how to tackle a variety of challenges. The 21 chapters include giving, exchanging, gifting, cooperating, pausing, compromising, knowing, admitting, asking, conversing, humanizing, liking, complimenting, labelling, reasoning, committing, implementing, comparing, following, losing, and ending. Pretty good read - could have been better by including more anecdotes in each chapter.

[Solipso · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a nice little book that offers a surface introduction to 21 concepts of behavioral psychology and effective persuasion. Each concept is introduced in a formulaic way - the idea, a supporting experiment, and advice for applying it in practice. It is an easy and enjoyable read, but it is at best a teaser for each of the concepts described within. I also docked a point for not citing any of the experiments and studies it references, making it difficult or impossible to look up if those studies were scientifically valid, or even arrived to the conclusions described in the book.

[Zina · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's OK.

The chapters are short and often titled counter to what you'd expect. For example, a chapter titled "compromising" is not talking about compromising with the person you are dealing with but rather between two alternatives you are offering. Each one chapter could contain completely different mechanisms and reasons without particularly bothering to separate apples from oranges.
But overall not the worst set of advice and at the very least - it's a short book.

I honestly wouldn't have bothered with it, but it was discussed in my discussion group.

[Jairo Moreno · Rating 3 out of 5]

Este manual súper corto es una base práctica para encontrar respuestas programadas a través de la inducción, cuando se lee te podrás dar cuenta que muchos de los puntos lo hacemos en nuestra vida cotidiana inconsciente o consciente, la invitación de este libro es tenerlos claros para lograr beneficios en todas las áreas de tu vida. Por eso recomienda usarlos de la forma más ética colectiva posible.

[Xusto Rodríguez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un resumo breve e divulgativo de técnicas e estratexias que se poden empregar cando queremos convencer a alguén para que faga algo que propoñemos.
Afonda moito menos ca outros libros do mesmo Cialdini, pero como compilación orientada á acción é moi moi interesante, como lectura profesional ou persoal.

[Diana Lorenzo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly-recommended! Direct to the point and practical way to teach persuasion techniques. I love compact self-help books like this. If this is your first time reading about a self-help book you would love to start with this.

[layla · Rating 3 out of 5]

i am kinda confused on how should i rate this book.. it wasn't that bad, was easy to be read, didn't take a lot of time nor was any difficult, but at the same time, wasn't really that special. almost everything that's written in this book is known to us.

[Kristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful self-improvement book that mostly provides already known facts of human behavior in a more structured way easy to follow. Also gives small steps on how to incorporate these in ur own life to be a more persuasive person.

[Mariana Zavi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mi primer libro sobre el tema de la persuasión y la ciencia del comportamiento humano para tomar decisiones. Me pareció simple pero con toques brillantes de puntos para poner en práctica, está cortito si te llama la atención el tema me encantó para empezar con el tema

[Sinet Sem · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and pratical tips to increase our influence.

[Marina R Albuquerque · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good book that explains how easily we can be influenced, I recommend.

[Vamshi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy and short principles are briefly described in this book, therefore simplifying the revision and allowing the essence of the underlying content to sink deeper.

[Olga · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing new but it is nice book to pillow.

[Sayeduzzaman Rayan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great advice!

[Albert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Libro muy rápido y ameno de leer. La mayoría de consejos son muy obvios pero va bien que alguien te los ordene y los centre en el tema de la persuasión. Muy recomendable.

[نبيل شاهين · Rating 5 out of 5]

This little book has many good science based insights.
It is very concise and direct to the point too

[Vijayshree Menon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a short but very quick recall of many things that ciadilini shares in his book influence.

[Wioletta Wieliczko · Rating 2 out of 5]

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