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Amy's Guide to Best Behavior in Japan: Do It Right and Be Polite!
This guide to common courtesy, acceptable behavior, and manners is essential for any visitor to Japan. Japanese are unfailingly polite and will never tell you if you've crossed the line. But by knowing how to act in every situation you'll gain the respect of your hosts and in the end get even better service and enjoyment during your travels. Covered here are all the essentials—like travel, greetings, dining—plus subtle niceties like tone of voice, body language, cell phone usage, city vs. country styles, and attire (and what to do about your tattoos!).
The author, a 25-year resident of Japan and tourist adviser who lives on the fabled Inland Sea, knows just what foreign visitors need and delivers it in a smart, compact, and delightfully illustrated package for quick use and reference.
The author, a 25-year resident of Japan and tourist adviser who lives on the fabled Inland Sea, knows just what foreign visitors need and delivers it in a smart, compact, and delightfully illustrated package for quick use and reference.
144 pages, Paperback
First published June 19, 2018
15 people are currently reading
73 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
February 19, 2023
A quick, helpful guide to how to behave as a guest in Japan. It provides insight into what behavior is expected and appreciated, how the Japanese will react if you behave otherwise, some of the basic reasons for these expectations, but no analysis of the society that underlies this culture. For such a short book, there was some repetition of information.
I have always wanted to read something more in depth about the cultures of the places we visit, without becoming a sociologist, but have never really found what I was looking for. This book served a need quite nicely but only teased the appetite.
I have always wanted to read something more in depth about the cultures of the places we visit, without becoming a sociologist, but have never really found what I was looking for. This book served a need quite nicely but only teased the appetite.
January 21, 2023
Just My Type Of Book
This was an outstanding book for learning the customs and little intricacies of Japanese culture
I actually really enjoyed learning about these cultural subtleties. So many of the items in this book I wish were inherited in Western culture - they seem very intuitive and very helpful.
No wonder Japan is renowned for its politeness and quietness and other impressive qualities. I plan to start incorporating The learnings from this book in my own life here in Western culture as it seems like a great way to go.
I look forward to utilizing this book's wealth of information when in Japan.
The book was a little bit outdated but all in all an excellent book as a guide to being a foreigner in Japan.
4.8/5
This was an outstanding book for learning the customs and little intricacies of Japanese culture
I actually really enjoyed learning about these cultural subtleties. So many of the items in this book I wish were inherited in Western culture - they seem very intuitive and very helpful.
No wonder Japan is renowned for its politeness and quietness and other impressive qualities. I plan to start incorporating The learnings from this book in my own life here in Western culture as it seems like a great way to go.
I look forward to utilizing this book's wealth of information when in Japan.
The book was a little bit outdated but all in all an excellent book as a guide to being a foreigner in Japan.
4.8/5
January 28, 2020
A great little book of manners to mind in Japan. Having lived in Japan as long as I have, I knew almost all of them or have picked them up over time. Even so, it was good to read and a good reminder.
November 7, 2024
NO ME JUZGUEN
ocurre pasa y acontece q encontré este libro por casa y no me quedaba mucho entonces dije bah q lo acabo jsjssjs. Como se puede notar es de mi pasado oscuro otaku si. Bueno a ver otaku otaku no era, era demasiado pequeña, pero como se puede ver muy comprometida con la causa q me leí el libro este entero para estar preparada para... no se ur a Japón supongo JAJAJAJSJSS
la nota la pongo tan alta por nostalgia jdjsjsjsjs y porque pues la guía si q es útil ksksksksj
Bueno, eso, fin
Otsukaresama deshita
ocurre pasa y acontece q encontré este libro por casa y no me quedaba mucho entonces dije bah q lo acabo jsjssjs. Como se puede notar es de mi pasado oscuro otaku si. Bueno a ver otaku otaku no era, era demasiado pequeña, pero como se puede ver muy comprometida con la causa q me leí el libro este entero para estar preparada para... no se ur a Japón supongo JAJAJAJSJSS
la nota la pongo tan alta por nostalgia jdjsjsjsjs y porque pues la guía si q es útil ksksksksj
Bueno, eso, fin
Otsukaresama deshita
October 20, 2025
Una bona guia, concisa i ràpida de llegir, sobre les normes de comportament bàsiques de la societat japonesa, moltes d’elles de sentit comú. Com que les diferències culturals entre països occidentals i orientals poden ser molt grans, sempre és útil informar-se, per així evitar causar molèsties de manera accidental. (8/10)
January 6, 2026
Lo leí durante mi viaje y considero que es una excelente introducción, rápida y fácil de leer para poder tener una inmersión respetuosa a esta cultura.
August 5, 2018
Cute little book with summary of I'd say the most important customs and habits of Japanese people. Follow it and you will survive and enjoy stay in Japan even more.
May 28, 2019
I’ve been to Japan many times, I speak Japanese, and I lived in Tokyo for several years but I still thoroughly enjoyed this guidebook. Yes, it’s packed full of great tips and sound advice but it was also so much fun to read. There are gorgeous illustrations on the cover and throughout the book by the very talented Jun Hazuki and I loved the way the cute kimono-clad “Amy Cat”, holding the pointer, was an indicator for an especially important tip or insight. I also liked the fact each page was laid out in a clear and concise way so I never felt bogged down with information, making this guidebook so easy to follow and read in just a few hours.
This guidebook is perfect for tourists, business people and anyone living in Japan. Amy Chavez explains in the introduction how she conducted surveys with both Japanese and Western people and you can tell she’s done lots of research to make sure she’s covered everything you need to know to make a good impression in Japan, so it’s more than likely you’re going to learn something new even if you’ve lived in Japan for many years.
This guidebook is so in-depth and detailed you’re never going to commit a faux pas and if you already know some of the golden rules you’re going to smile from ear to ear when you read some of the situations that could really embarrass a Westerner in Japan, so this book makes for delightful reading. I really laughed imagining the following scene because I knew it would be considered incredibly rude in Japan: “If you’re giving your (business) card to several people, don’t deal out your cards or slide them down the table. This is not a time to show your Bridge skills. Get up and walk over to each person sitting at the other end of the table.” (pg. 135)
The beauty of this book is in the details. It’s not just pointing out obvious rules of politeness and providing insight into cultural know-how. It tells you how to order hot or cold sake just the way you like it, how much money you should offer as a gift at a wedding or a funeral, the correct way to tie your yukata in a Japanese ryokan inn, where you should put your empty drink cans in a hotel room (and it’s not inside the bin!), whether you’re allowed to use selfie sticks in public areas, the type of clothes you should and shouldn’t wear when you’re in Japan, what sort of conversation topics are appropriate when you’re meeting Japanese friends or business colleagues, how to exit a room in a business meeting, what side you should present your business card, and so much more.
Even if you’ve lived in Japan, you’re bound to learn a thing or two from this book. I didn’t know there was a silent carriage on the Shinkansen bullet train that was so quiet it had “no announcements”, but knowing this now means I’ll never miss my stop if I happen to be sitting in this quiet carriage in the future.
The section on buying gifts and how much you should spend is well-worth reading. Chavez explained that when you give money at weddings there should be an odd number of bills since odd numbers are considered lucky. It's tips like this you really need to know. Some of the author’s suggestions are also very considerate: “Don’t give plants in a pot to sick people in hospital as their illness may “take root.”” (pg. 45).
There are also several very amusing but highly educational anecdotes scattered throughout the book that share with the reader some of the author’s personal experiences. These are based on the times when Chavez made a mistake but she learned a lot in the process. These lessons in Japanese life were so much fun to read but more importantly the reader learns not to do it as well. I particularly enjoyed reading about the time she jumped in a taxi with a wet umbrella and the driver got out, came around to where she was sitting, shook the umbrella outside the taxi, returned it to her, and then returned to the driver’s seat to drive her to her destination, without a hint of malice!
Chavez clearly but kindly gives advice and points out the mistakes you can avoid but she also lets the reader know it’s okay to slip up sometimes in Japan so you don’t feel any pressure or nervousness about all these rules. Reading this book will make it easier for anyone to leave an excellent impression on the Japanese people. In business, this book could also make a major difference on whether you successfully close that all important deal, and if you’re planning on making friends in Japan or staying with a host family this guidebook will help you develop lifelong and meaningful relationships.
This guidebook is perfect for tourists, business people and anyone living in Japan. Amy Chavez explains in the introduction how she conducted surveys with both Japanese and Western people and you can tell she’s done lots of research to make sure she’s covered everything you need to know to make a good impression in Japan, so it’s more than likely you’re going to learn something new even if you’ve lived in Japan for many years.
This guidebook is so in-depth and detailed you’re never going to commit a faux pas and if you already know some of the golden rules you’re going to smile from ear to ear when you read some of the situations that could really embarrass a Westerner in Japan, so this book makes for delightful reading. I really laughed imagining the following scene because I knew it would be considered incredibly rude in Japan: “If you’re giving your (business) card to several people, don’t deal out your cards or slide them down the table. This is not a time to show your Bridge skills. Get up and walk over to each person sitting at the other end of the table.” (pg. 135)
The beauty of this book is in the details. It’s not just pointing out obvious rules of politeness and providing insight into cultural know-how. It tells you how to order hot or cold sake just the way you like it, how much money you should offer as a gift at a wedding or a funeral, the correct way to tie your yukata in a Japanese ryokan inn, where you should put your empty drink cans in a hotel room (and it’s not inside the bin!), whether you’re allowed to use selfie sticks in public areas, the type of clothes you should and shouldn’t wear when you’re in Japan, what sort of conversation topics are appropriate when you’re meeting Japanese friends or business colleagues, how to exit a room in a business meeting, what side you should present your business card, and so much more.
Even if you’ve lived in Japan, you’re bound to learn a thing or two from this book. I didn’t know there was a silent carriage on the Shinkansen bullet train that was so quiet it had “no announcements”, but knowing this now means I’ll never miss my stop if I happen to be sitting in this quiet carriage in the future.
The section on buying gifts and how much you should spend is well-worth reading. Chavez explained that when you give money at weddings there should be an odd number of bills since odd numbers are considered lucky. It's tips like this you really need to know. Some of the author’s suggestions are also very considerate: “Don’t give plants in a pot to sick people in hospital as their illness may “take root.”” (pg. 45).
There are also several very amusing but highly educational anecdotes scattered throughout the book that share with the reader some of the author’s personal experiences. These are based on the times when Chavez made a mistake but she learned a lot in the process. These lessons in Japanese life were so much fun to read but more importantly the reader learns not to do it as well. I particularly enjoyed reading about the time she jumped in a taxi with a wet umbrella and the driver got out, came around to where she was sitting, shook the umbrella outside the taxi, returned it to her, and then returned to the driver’s seat to drive her to her destination, without a hint of malice!
Chavez clearly but kindly gives advice and points out the mistakes you can avoid but she also lets the reader know it’s okay to slip up sometimes in Japan so you don’t feel any pressure or nervousness about all these rules. Reading this book will make it easier for anyone to leave an excellent impression on the Japanese people. In business, this book could also make a major difference on whether you successfully close that all important deal, and if you’re planning on making friends in Japan or staying with a host family this guidebook will help you develop lifelong and meaningful relationships.
August 30, 2018
A quick review for a quick read: it's useful, charming, and you won't go wrong if you get it.
Slightly longer: I've been to Japan a couple of times now and so am probably not the intended audience for this book. I had picked up a lot of what's described within by osmosis - I travelled there initially as a performer in a taiko group, after all - but gee, it would've been great to have this as a fast guide to Not Sucking.
What I did notice from travelling through Japan is that the unspoken routines of the culture will rub off on the visitor. Yes, I'll always be an enormous gaijin. But I'll also always be a visitor, and so it's really up to me to minimise myself in the place, to step back and figure out how best I can fit in, rather than expecting the culture to stretch to accommodate me. A lot of this is accomplished by being quieter than you would be, and being extra mindful of the space you inhabit: something that the book certainly suggests.
What's contained within the slender volume is a crash-course in politeness. Really, that's all it is. Think of it as a way of being slightly more graceful - sometimes archaically so - in life. You could apply a lot of the rules here to how you comport yourself in your home town and become more charming there, so it's a sure thing that you'll improve your reception in Japan if you take even a handful of these suggestions to heart.
There's stuff you won't necessarily use unless you're there for business meetings, but I found myself nodding in agreement a lot of the time: this is really a little guide to travelling more elegantly through a land where aesthetics and respect are still pretty important parts of society.
You likely won't be corrected if you miss any of the rules in here: Japan doesn't work like that. I found that I wasn't expected to follow rules, as an outsider, but it was greatly appreciated when I tried to, however hamfistedly. (The bow is a lot more difficult than you'd imagine, if you've not tried it.) But if you've been before, you might be mortified at some of the faux pas you've made, however unintentional.
Chavez's writing is clear, and explains (mostly) why certain routines have stuck around. Hazuki's illustrations are charming, and the book seems to be a nifty passion project. This guide helps minimise yourself, and it does so with good humour. Give it a read, baka gaijin!
Slightly longer: I've been to Japan a couple of times now and so am probably not the intended audience for this book. I had picked up a lot of what's described within by osmosis - I travelled there initially as a performer in a taiko group, after all - but gee, it would've been great to have this as a fast guide to Not Sucking.
What I did notice from travelling through Japan is that the unspoken routines of the culture will rub off on the visitor. Yes, I'll always be an enormous gaijin. But I'll also always be a visitor, and so it's really up to me to minimise myself in the place, to step back and figure out how best I can fit in, rather than expecting the culture to stretch to accommodate me. A lot of this is accomplished by being quieter than you would be, and being extra mindful of the space you inhabit: something that the book certainly suggests.
What's contained within the slender volume is a crash-course in politeness. Really, that's all it is. Think of it as a way of being slightly more graceful - sometimes archaically so - in life. You could apply a lot of the rules here to how you comport yourself in your home town and become more charming there, so it's a sure thing that you'll improve your reception in Japan if you take even a handful of these suggestions to heart.
There's stuff you won't necessarily use unless you're there for business meetings, but I found myself nodding in agreement a lot of the time: this is really a little guide to travelling more elegantly through a land where aesthetics and respect are still pretty important parts of society.
You likely won't be corrected if you miss any of the rules in here: Japan doesn't work like that. I found that I wasn't expected to follow rules, as an outsider, but it was greatly appreciated when I tried to, however hamfistedly. (The bow is a lot more difficult than you'd imagine, if you've not tried it.) But if you've been before, you might be mortified at some of the faux pas you've made, however unintentional.
Chavez's writing is clear, and explains (mostly) why certain routines have stuck around. Hazuki's illustrations are charming, and the book seems to be a nifty passion project. This guide helps minimise yourself, and it does so with good humour. Give it a read, baka gaijin!
August 30, 2018
I absolutely love this book and plan to buy it! It will make a great companion to my college communications course as it deals with acceptable verbal and nonverbal communication in Japan. The author explores every possible aspect of acceptable customs, language, dress, behavior, business practices, table manners and more! It is the perfect guide for a businessman or tourist visiting Japan and wanting to do “the right thing “ according to Japanese standards. A welcome addition for many college level courses that deal with customs and culture in another country.
Amy's Guide to Best Behavior in Japan by Amy Chavez is now available from Stone Bridge Press, an imprint of Consortium Book Sales & Distribution. An egalley of this book was made available by the publisher in exchange for a honest review.
Amy's Guide to Best Behavior in Japan by Amy Chavez is now available from Stone Bridge Press, an imprint of Consortium Book Sales & Distribution. An egalley of this book was made available by the publisher in exchange for a honest review.
December 23, 2018
I came across this book after reading an article by Amy Chavez from The Japan Times. I thought that this book was easy to read and a good introduction to many of the cultural differences between Japan and the West. This might be a good resource for us next year when we move.
June 6, 2019
Fun quick read about trying to do the right/polite thing in Japan - no loud blowing of the nose in public, lots of age/slipper changes, gift-giving traditions, eating and bath etiquette. Great to peruse before a trip. Helpful traveler info from a cultural perspective.
April 12, 2024
Read this ahead of a trip to Japan. It has a lot of really good advice including several things that I was totally unaware of prior to reading this book. If you want to be a less obnoxious visitor to Japan - I strongly recommend giving this a read.
December 27, 2018
Incredibly helpful and interesting!
June 5, 2019
Helpful cultural info....
Even if you can't speak the language, tips on how to be polite and welcome in Japan. Worth a read.
Even if you can't speak the language, tips on how to be polite and welcome in Japan. Worth a read.
August 25, 2020
Reseña completa en el blog: Lengua Sucinta
May 10, 2024
Para conocer algunas curiosidades de Japón por si vas allí de viaje. Cortito pero bastante útil.
Está simpático ¡¡y con ilustraciones de gatitos!!
Está simpático ¡¡y con ilustraciones de gatitos!!
September 20, 2025
Helpful guide
This book was recommended to me before going to Japan. I learned a lot from it, and I hope it helps me not be an idiot.
This book was recommended to me before going to Japan. I learned a lot from it, and I hope it helps me not be an idiot.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews