The Secret Life of Cowboys

by Tom Groneberg

In this classic memoir, a young man facing a future he doesn’t want to claim has an inspiration―Go West. Tom Groneberg leaves behind friends and family, follows his heart, and heads to a resort town in the Colorado Rockies, where he earns his spurs as a wrangler leading tourists on horseback. Later, Groneberg moves to Montana, where he works for wages at a number of ranches before buying his own ranch. Demystifying the image of cowboys as celluloid heroes, The Secret Life of Cowboys is a coming-of-age story as stunning as the land itself and a revealing look at America’s last frontier.

Genres: Nonfiction, Travel, Grief, Animals, Biography

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Tom Groneberg is the author of The Secret Life of Cowboys and has written for a number of publications, including Men's Journal and Sports Afield. He lives in northwest Montana with his wife, three sons, and his horse, Blue.

Reviews

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Groneberg's non-fiction account of his love affair with the West, its land, and its people, is an enjoyable read for anyone who has ever thought, even for a second, that "I shoulda been a cowboy." An English major from Chicago, Groneberg chronicles how his love for the ranch life evolves from the romanticized West of myth to an honest admiration for the hardscrabble existence that actually exists in its place. In the process, Groneberg himself evovles as he is forced to confront his definition of himself, his status as the eternal outsider, and the daily struggle with life and death that is part of ranch life. While the book lagged at times (I found my mind occasionally slipping into a sing-song litany of "Cows, and horses, and hay, oh my!"), it was an overall entertaining read. I would have enjoyed it more if I had also read a novel in conjunction with the book and alternated between the two.

[Rebekah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what I expected. As per the cover, I thought this would be a humorous memoire full of personal vignettes to illustrate that deep down cowboys aren't that different from the rest of us. Instead, I got a serious autobiographical account of a city boy trying to make a success of his inner cowboy among the harsh Montana environs. While the reading was interesting and descriptive,the tone lacked optimism, and Mr. Groneberg didn't have a clear vision of what his cowboy rancher goal was. More than once I wanted to throttle the author for not acknowledging his mistakes with a wry smile and moving forward. He took life too seriously, and took losses too hard. Without a sense of humor, this book is simply a story of survival, and that's what Mr. Groneberg does; he survives, but he doesn't live with any real verve. I sincerey hope the years after this book were/are more productive.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't speak highly enough about this book. It grabbed me in the gut. Groneberg has a great writing style, no lyrical jingles attached, just the bare bones of the human experience hung across the landscape that he adopted as home. It's hard to talk about a postmodern existence while staying grounded in the simplicity of the human experience and the land. Groneberg does it with flying colors.

[Aleeca · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't think this book held up to it's name. I'm not sure whether I was expecting a story about cowboys riding the range and what goes on during ranching, etc. or whether I expected an elicit tale of debauchery about cowboys in general.

This book was neither of those things. I thought the main character flaky and a bit whiny.

[Wes Young · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really beautiful book about love and loss, the focus of which is the American West. For a memoir in which so much of the author's hopes and dreams, loves and desires, end in heartbreak and sadness, the prose is utterly poetic - still maintaining that chance...
At times funny, at times wrenching, this is really a book that shouldn't be missed!

[Abby · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was well written and insightful, but a little sad. I passed it along to my mom after reading it. She loved it and now all her friends have read it and enjoyed it, too.

[Holly Phillips · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, yes, Tom Groneburg leaves behind his family and his friends – he leaves traditional college life as we know it and learns to be a proper ranch hand, by being thrown into the work and simply doing it every single day. But, Groneburg did have the love of his life by his side, so he wasn’t alone in that sense.

A few scenes in this book really got me – like when Groneburg learned to build a fence for cattle, and it took him hours to simply dig a hole, get the post in, and then start threading wires. He learned to lead horse trail rides for tourists, and dig a well to get water to his freezing cabin. The guy lived off barely any money, worked at all hours, and even learned how to ride a rodeo horse in an arena, decades after most people should.

I loved the courage in this book, despite the fact that I could relate to barely anything in it. A review from David Abrams in January Magazine sums it up nicely:

The Secret Life of Cowboys is a first-rate account of men and women whose lives revolve around hard land and stubborn animals. Through his portraits of ranchers, wranglers and rodeo champs, Groneberg goes beneath the stereotype of saddles, saloons and sagebrush.

Good-bye, John Wayne. So long, Gary Cooper. It’s time for you to ride into the sunset of mythology. This a book that tells it like it is, showing both the joys and the dark agonies of life in the modern American West. What Frank McCourt did for Irish poverty, Groneberg does for Montana ranching.

Truth be told, this book is not so much about the hidden secrets of cowboys as it is about Tom Groneberg, disillusioned kid from Chicago who goes west in search of purpose. “I chased a dream and it kicked me in the teeth,” he writes. “Yet I find myself falling for it again and again.” It’s a cliché from the Me Generation, but Groneberg does”find himself” in the hard work, the unforgiving land, and the company of horses.

If you’ve ever ridden a horse, fantasized about the west, or hell, been fascinated by a sunset – this book is for you.

[Julie Richert-Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

"In school you get the lesson first and then the test. In life you get the test and then the lesson."
Sometimes I wonder if authors troll around on Goodreads, seeing what people have to say about their work . . . Tom, if you're out there, it was fantastic! Your writing is wonderfully well structured, funny, warm, endlessly relatable. I am a ranch girl, third generation, born and raised-you had me up all night to finish it. Laughed out loud. Cried some- felt your losses keenly.
Thank you for the honesty! Thank you for the bravery to tell your story. Thank Jennifer for allowing herself to be such a guiding star. Wherever you keep your saddle these days, I hope you are still writing, riding, and loving every day of it.
Here's to Pumpkin Creek, the 600 Cafe, and the Miles City Bucking horse sale. You did them proud!
Links:
Bad Land: An American Romance
Badluck Way: A Year on the Ragged Edge of the West
On Sarpy Creek

[Dara · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yeah no sorry Tom Groneberg you were never a cowboy & thank god you sold your ranch because what the fuck is this. If your ranch is your main source of revenue I understand hard choices must be made & that life is not easy whatsoever but the air of indifference in this book is not “just business”. It’s fucking astonishing that calling out the undeniable cruelty & disrespect for the animals that die so you can live gets you labelled a crazy vegan or a tree hugger. This nigga Tom couldn’t even step in when horses were being abused by farriers. Has no comment in his narration when other cowboys around him are looking down on some fucking Appaloosas because of their origins & relations with native peoples. But you got your whole fuckin cowboy shtick from them people too, & couldn’t be bothered to have a spine nor some respect. So no, you ain’t a cowboy, ain’t a rancher, ain’t shit so sorry about it.

[Jason Bergsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this memoir, Tom Groneberg writes about his time as a younger man, and his journey from leaving college to being a cowboy and eventually a write. It's packed with mistakes, life lessons and emotion.

I knew nothing about this book when I bought it. I saw it at a goodwill thrift store and laughed at the cover. That was enough for me. I went in pretty much blind and had a good time reading it. I wouldn't call it life changing by any means, but I enjoyed the story and the way it was written, along with a few nuggets of wisdom that will likely stick with me for a while.

[Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I expected: humor (there is none).
What I got: a heartfelt memoir about a city boy fulfilling his dream of becoming a cowboy.

Dislike: He and his wife live a harsh, desperate life fighting rough land, deadly weather, cows dying, deer dying, horses dying.
Like: he loves his wife, loves the land, loves his animals, and loves his life.

[Nolan · Rating 2 out of 5]

My rating belies my perspective on this book just a little. I loved the writing style;I just felt a bit like an intruder into the more private parts of a life despite being invited in by virtue of the book.

[Barb Flory · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it!

[Pamela Mettler · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hard for me to get through this down on his luck book. The flow of the narrative seemed missing to me.

[Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance · Rating 3 out of 5]

What little boy doesn't think
about becoming a cowboy when he
grows up? Tom Groneberg actually
did it; he left his home
near Chicago and took a job as a
ranch hand in Montana.

Even if you are not interested in
ranching, you may be surprised to
find you have an unexpected urge
to relocate to the West and raise
cattle after reading this beautifully
written book.

Favorite Quote: "It begins with a poem, a haiku:
'Hard work with horses in a
beautiful setting. Write for more
info.'"

[Randine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Secret Life refers to the tender side of Gronenberg who 'became' a cowboy when he was an adult, versus being raised on a ranch. He writes beautifully, poetically, thoughtfully. He and his wife Jennifer adopt Montana with a love/despair relationship and he writes with true humility in regards to to the land and his place in it. Dispelling the romantic images of ranch life, he also keeps intact the depth of connection between animals and humans and the critical importance of neighbors, family and friends.

I love all things ranch and this is a special book.

[Leann Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

In the first half, Tom seemed like he was a good guy who was willing to work hard to pursue his dreams of being a real rancher, but as soon as he asked his daddy to buy him a ranch in Montana, I realized that his old money enabled him to skip the steps that would’ve made him a genuine cowboy.

At what point does funding your kids dream become detrimental to both of you?

Honestly I’d still recommend the book because his writing was still good, but don’t go into it with any expectations.

[Jeanelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

The sincerity of the author is what I loved about this book. I came away so impressed with all that goes in to running a ranch and keeping up the image of "cowboy"...happy to note that this book contained no swearing. Yee-hah!

[Ashleeneva · Rating 4 out of 5]

No, this is nothing like "Brokeback Mountain", (though I AM a huge fan of E. Annie Proulx). It's the story of a boy and his dreams...and the story of how quickly we realize that dreams are often more difficult than we imagine them to be.

[Bryce Waddell · Rating 4 out of 5]

about a guy that went to school at U of I and afterwards went to Colorado to try his hand at a ranch... currently lives in Montana. How could I not love this book? I only wish I had kept a journal when I was out there.

[Cat. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good book about what it takes to ranch ahe life, and work with animals in the west, what depending on the land really means, now. The author takes care not to overly mythologize the subject, and is very honest about his failings, and discoveries of strengths. Nicely written, very evocative.

[Tanya T · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this was going to be a really interesting book. I felt it had little detail about the ranching parts of it and more of the author's struggle to "find himself". It was a quick read,because i skimmed thru most of it. I felt it was rather bland.

[jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

i bought this book for my dad, but i read it before i gave it to him. it's a good read, although the author used a few too many flowery metaphors about his heart and how it felt.

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had to read this for a class on American Studies. It was really good as far as "required reading" goes.

[dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

i still wish i were a cowboy.

[Keri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is great!

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned much more about cows. Now I know what a steer is!

[Erin Lovell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a gem! A wonderful coming of age tale of a man in love with the ways of the West and more! Can't wait to read One Good Horse..

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's neat that he bought a ranch. He's a little sentimental for my tastes though.

[Ron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read my review at my blog.