Men in Blazers Present Encyclopedia Blazertannica: A Suboptimal Guide to Soccer, America's "Sport of the Future" Since 1972

by Men in Blazers, Roger Bennett, Michael P. Davies

Soccer has been America's Sport of the Future since 1972. Propelled by the rise of the World Cup, Premier League, the glory of the United States Women's National Team, Lionel Messi's DemiGod-esque talent and repeat exposure to Cristiano Ronaldo's preening abs, that Future has finally arrived.

The Men In Blazers are two English-born, soccer-obsessed broadcasters who have savored the dizzying growth of the game along with millions of Americans, as if it was a rollicking, sporting telenovela playing out in real life. Written in such a way that fully immerses Americans in the history and culture of the world's game, their Encyclopedia Blazertannica relives the careers of such greats such as George Best, Maradona, Beckham...and Alexi Lalas. It examines fan culture, from the tactical variations of scarf tying, to the pathos of England's classic, yet doomed, World Cup theme songs, and explores the complex physics and ethics of both celebratory knee slides and fights between players, along with such burning questions as how professional footballers deal with hair loss. Any reader will feel as if they've had a front-row seat for the classic matches--seeing every dive and missed penalty kick, and hearing every vulgar chant--and will emerge with a deeper appreciation for the dodgy haircuts and ill-judged neck tattoos that populate world football.

Genres: Sports, Nonfiction, Soccer, Humor, Memoir, Football, Reference

470 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 15, 2018

About the author

Hosts Roger Bennett and Michael Davies believe soccer is America's Sport of the Future. As it has been since 1972.

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Reviews

[Liz R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entirely sub-optimal. The final nail in the coffin of the publishing business as we know it.
Courage to all readers who embark on this heartless work, devoid of all human emotion and clearly ghost-written by Zlatan.

[MH · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much more than a well-illustrated collection of jokes about pie and hair loss, the encyclopedia format serves as a backdoor biography for the two men, "an optimistic Londoner who believes everything is possible" and "a negative Liverpudlian who sees Cossacks lurking behind every door" (x), told through entries on family, football collectibles, and especially childhoods in England spent dreaming about America. There are plenty of jokes for GFOPs and football fans, of course, but there's also a lot more genuine emotion than I expected: Rog wearing his heart on his sleeve (his beautiful speech at his son's bar mitzvah, his deeply uncomfortable collection of teenage shames and heartaches); Davo remembering his complicated, very British father while dropping lessons learned in a frankly aspirational life; and the whole thing has more sincere World War I poetry than you'd expect from a book that also has a guide to tying ties like Kyle Martino. I expected it to be funny - I didn't expect it to also be so honest, moving, and memorable. What is this world twisted.

[♣ Irish Smurfétté ♣]

I am barely able to properly convey how essiiiiiited I am to read this. 😁😁😁😁😁

[Joyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I can't say I'm a fan, I was familiar with Rog and Davo before I came across this delightful recording. Honestly, there's no point in bothering with the print version, unless you're a real soccer/football fan, because, as they meander through the alphabet in their encyclopedia, they offer a taste of their favorite sport--the athletes, the teams, the highs and lows--and personal recollections and witty byplay as they go. The encyclopedia--and their performance--is quirky, smart, and insightful. Anyone interested, even vaguely, in the sport might enjoy this vastly entertaining performance (and book too, no doubt), especially if they also appreciate anecdotal story telling and good fun.

[Thekelburrows · Rating 5 out of 5]

Balds win! Balds win! BALDS WIN!

[Timothy Hoiland · Rating 4 out of 5]

From "Accents" and "Achilles Feet" to "Zaha" and "Zidane" this book is as lively and weird as its authors. If you've listened to the podcast or watched the show, a lot of this material will be familiar to you. Best suited for those who find themselves on the verge of soccer enthusiasm but in need of a nerdy, humorous nudge.

[Phil · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a delightful accompaniment to any English Premier League (EPL) or World Cup soccer viewing experience, as it provides a source of much needed entertainment during the 89.5 minutes of tedium generally on display during a typical 90+ minute “football” match. The short A-Z entries are mostly amusing and informative, but unfortunately (for the authors and their creditors) the book was published in the the US market at almost the exact moment when the American team failed to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. Accordingly, and with US fan interest in this year’s Copa Mundal lagging, the good news for stateside consumers is that this book will soon fill the bargain bin at your local bookstore just in time for the holiday season when an inexpensive but meaningful gift is needed for your nephew/niece or millennial colleague who inexplicably loves Chelsea, Tottenham and/or Barcelona. Speaking of the holidays, I did notice the absence of an entry about Boxing Day EPL matches, my favorite soccer tradition, so does that suggest a suboptimal Volume II is in the works? This GFOP, for one, would buy it!

[Ric · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rog and Davo have outdone themselves here. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more suboptimal than the podcast and the tv show, they release this book that is as crap as the rest. And I couldn’t have possibly enjoyed it more.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listen to it on audio! While they don’t read every entry, I could listen to Rog and Davo talk soccer to me any day of the week.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sub-optimal crap has never been more enjoyable.

[Joe]

Crap book, but worth a read if only to tell future generations that you were present at the death of the publishing industry.

[Michael J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

You'll learn a lot more than just football/soccer in this highly entertaining and often funny collection of short articles (from one paragraph to several pages) on various and sundry topics - - some only loosely related to football/soccer.
Just like the Men In Blazers television show, Rog and Davo go off on tangents and that's what gives this book it's unique charm. If you're looking for a comprehensive overview of soccer, including a complete history of the sport and a detailed explanation of the rules - - this is not the book for you. However, if you want to learn some interesting facts, essential topics, and some peculiarities of fandom this is the tome you want.
As they mention in the introduction, the volume was designed to be "an ill-advised attempt to journey into the inky dark, unexplored depths of the Men In Blazers universe, every detail of which we have created hand in hand with our masochistically loyal listeners over the past eight years, pod by pod, show by show, tweet by suboptimal tweet." Indeed. The book is also subtitled "A Suboptimal Guide To Soccer, America's 'Sport Of The Future' since 1972."
I learned as much about Roger Bennett and Michael Davies from reading this as I did about the reasons behind the popularity of soccer. I did not realize that both are transplants, having lived in America for a long time and did not meet until 2006, as detailed in the amusing 'Zildane', the last entry in the encyclopedia.
For as many factual entries in the book, there are even more personal essays that reveal insights about both men and their infatuation with the popular sport.
Among my favorite entries are the numerous mentions of baldness: Balding Sectors, Bald Players, Best Bald Team Of All Time and Way Less Bald In Person. Don't miss the entries on Facial Hair and Mullets.
Also among the highlights are entries on why Blazers are important, Chanting, and The Worst Tattoos In Football
Bennett's entries are full of clever pop culture references just like the tv show while Davies' approach is more literal and intellectual (to a degree). Rog definitely has the most personal essays in the book. I really enjoyed Davo's memoir titled "Is That Your Analysis?"

[Leah Rachel von Essen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was fun. It made me laugh a good number of times, and I shared many of the best stories with Nick. It's full of stories not just about soccer, but also about Rog and Davo's lives, where they come from, what makes them up as people. Highlights included a diagram of best penalty kicks that was all iconic missed penalties, a new soccer vocabulary, and new and better knowledge of world and English football. I can't blame it too much for its Western focus naturally, or its jokes at the expense of non-English-speaking nations, or its general bias towards ignoring colonialism and framing England as the great and only nation etc. It's a soccer book, and they're Premier league fans.

What really took a star off for me was lack of women's soccer. It almost hurt more that they so lightly and poorly engaged with women's soccer—I almost prefer they would have left it out all together. Not one mention of the NWSL. A light sprinkling of female soccer players, but very light: Megan Rapinoe got two fewer paragraphs than Molly Ringwald. And one of those very few mentions of women's soccer listed a World Cup semi against Germany erroneously in 2014—it was 2015, as that's when the Women's World Cup was. Not surprising, as their coverage of the 2015 Women's World Cup consisted of a cute fun movie poster that was very entertaining but said little about the match. Perhaps I shouldn't have expected much about women's soccer in a book about soccer from 2 male English soccer fans, but I admit I got my hopes up, and still found their lazy engagement with the USWNT disappointing, especially considering that the Chicago Bears got nearly a page, or that they had room for a "best bald team" of all time.

[jedioffsidetrap · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some pretty funny stuff in here. But can’t give more than three stars because there are entries on Kyle Beckerman, Steve Cherundolo & (worst of all) Alexi Lalas. I know this is a comedy book but that’s just not funny. At all. That tanks your credibility, lads!

There’s also a lot of random entries on non-football topics (like Luc Longley & Molly Ringwald) and autobiographical minutiae that made me scratch my head (Davo’s favorite speeches? Various fabrics? How Rog met the “85 Bears at the airport after thei win?).

I loved the nostalgia of the Subbuteo & Figurine Panini stickers (which I never had, but totally would have had I known). And I learned about Gordon Banks and his “Save of the Century” against Pele at the 1970 World Cup.

I chortled at the entry on the wanker sign, and the “John Terry Hat-trick”: scores a goal, an own goal & gets a red card in the same game. The entry on “Fake Injuries” was very tongue-in-cheek & witty.

They recount three “Greatest Teams of All Time” (of “balds”, gingers & Jews—balds are incredible!), and the “Greatest Penalty Kicks of All Time” ( which are all misses—oh Baggio!). The compilation of footballers who recorded music (under the “Vinyl” entry) was horrifying.

As an adoptive Everton fan, I appreciated Rog’s loyalty & his entry on the club, and the rebuttal, “Everton in Davo’s Eyes.”

A fun book with mystifying oddities stuffed in.

[Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved soccer for a long time. In the buildup to the last World Cup in 2014, I discovered a podcast by two English gents call "Men in Blazers". I immediately fell in love with Rog and Davo, their football knowledge, their incredible sense of humor, and of course, their delightful accents. I haven't missed a Men in Blazers podcast in the past four years. Not only have they brought more enjoyment to the World Cup and subsequent international tournaments, but they have provided thorough education about the English Premier League, which has grown to become perhaps my favorite sports league. (My son Ben and I cheer for Tottenham). Anyway, I was excited to hear that Men in Blazers were publishing a book. Honestly, I didn't have high expectations, thinking it might be a short book that only rehashed a few things they have discussed on the pod. However, I greatly underestimated Rog and Davo. I absolutely loved this book. It was part serious soccer history, part biographies according to MiB, and part hilarious anecdotes and encyclopedia entries. I enjoyed every entry in this book and laughed out loud several times throughout. While it might not be as enjoyed or appreciated by readers not familiar with these gents, for anyone who is a fan of Men in Blazers, they are sure to love this book.

[Aaron Ash · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was great especially considering the barriers stacked against it: It is a book about soccer, It is formatted as an encyclopedia, I was reading it on my kindle.

I have never before tried to read any kind of encyclopedia from A to Z. I've always gone to entries of interest and moved on from there. But having this as a library loan on an e-book made that impractical. But somehow this worked from A to Z. Each entry being entertaining and well-written enough to keep me moving forward.

Reading this on an kindle meant that it was hampered somewhat visually. I'm not sure how the physical pages were laid out, but some of the illustrations didn't line up with articles here. It didn't matter, most of the visual jokes still worked and they were infrequent.

I'm not a big soccer fan. But after starting this book I found that I could watch Sporting KC games on ESPN+, and I've enjoyed the experience. I can often hear the authors' accents in my head as a certain kind of play happens in front of me.

[John Matthew IV · Rating 5 out of 5]

This a suboptimal book full of crap.

And if you are a fan of Men In Blazers, you will love it.

p. 28: The Game of Our Lives by George Turnbull
p. 32: Chelsea fans will respond by bellowing "Speak F--king English! Why don't you speak F---king English?"
p. 35: Chelsea: "There are also some less savory connections to do with anti-Catholicism, pro-Ulster unionism, loyalist tendencies, fascism, racism and gang-related violence."
p. 40: "You can change your husband or wife, you can change your underpants, but you can never, ever change your team."
p. 40: April 9, Churchill Day
p. 71: The Ball Is Round, Soccer in Sun and Shadow, Among the Thugs
p. 77: Gary Lineker: "Football is a simple game in which 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end the Germans win."
p. 99: "Football is an Italian game that just happens to have been invented in England."
p. 179: "Tennis players"
p. 197: Great story about England vs. Argentina in 1986 World Cup

[Paul Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nothing I say will persuade you to or dissuade you from buying this book. If you don’t know or like the Men in Blazers, you won’t get most of the jokes, and the humor will seem bizarre. If you are a Men in Blazers fan (as I am), you will relish the sub-optimality and understand that reference. I laughed out loud many times while reading this, and I smiled or chuckled countless others. Their ability to blend soccer, comedy and pop culture is an art, as are the accompanying illustrations. Size the day, and this book.

[Colona Public Library · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the show Men in Blazers. If you do too, then you have to pick up this book. The humor is the same. The book is formatted like a real encyclopedia. It starts with A and ends with Z. There are tons of photos and drawings through out the book. You also get to learn more about Roger and Michael. You can read every entry in this book or just skip to the bits that you are interested it. You will enjoy this book either way. This book will make a great addition to any futbol or soccer fan's bookshelf.

~April

[Brandon Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the Men in Blazers at their finest. It's a coffee table book. If you're a diehard listener or viewer, you won't find much new here. There are a lot of jokes and references you've heard before, but that's ok -- that's why we come back every week. If you're newer, you'll enjoy getting the background on a lot of the usual sayings you've gotten used to. These guys are hilarious as always. You'll get sports and culture, history and present, fictional and real, and you'll laugh all the way through. A must have for any GFOP. War pig. Is that your analysis? WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO. Courage.

[Peter Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been listening to the Men in Blazers podcast for years now so I was totally in the tank for this book even before it was written. But I have to admit that I'm surprised just how good their comedy encyclopedia on soccer turned out. There's some great stuff about the history of the game, some surprisingly inspirational life advice (Davo's work, no doubt), and of course, the same sense of humor that brings me back to their podcast every week. I don't know if I would be half the soccer fan I am if it weren't for these guys.

[Philip · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Encyclopedia Blazertannica' by Roger Bennett and Michael Davis, better known as the "Men in Blazers", have for more than a decade, stood at the center of Americas' growing national obsession with soccer or as an Englishman, I would say 'football. Hundreds of thousands of fans, including my self, tune in weekly to their podcast and television broadcast to get their analysis of the previous week's matches and soccer/football news. Rog and Davo fill in all the gaps with this hugely entertaining and idiosyncratic guide to the sport that America is beginning to love. Growing up in England, I have followed football and my team for almost 50 years. This humorous and informative book on the culture of English football will only serve to educate the American fan. I thoroughly enjoyed this book!

[Jake · Rating 4 out of 5]

This books seems like something that would only exist in my imagination, not reality. A book all about soccer and chock-full of game of thrones references?? How does this actually exist?

My one qualm with the book was that a lot of it focused on historic teams, players, and matches in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s. Which is fine. But I definitely began to tune out a bit reading about obscure World Cup qualifying matches that happened 60 years ago.

Otherwise, a fun, light read that I would recommend to any football fan. ⚽️

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely hilarious!! To be fair, I’m biased. I like their podcasts, their shows, their commentary, their humor, and I LOVE the sport of soccer. So, it’s easy for me to score this one highly, but they do such a great job of intertwining real history with their own differing opinions while still sharing detailed personal stories that endear the reader to the authors as well as to the sport. If you’re a soccer/football fan with a sense of humor, this is a must read.

[Steven · Rating 5 out of 5]

To all who embark on reading this sub-optimal pile bald winning schlock, I say courage.

Is that your analysis?

Read this one when it came out in advance of the 2018 World Cup. Although I have heard a lot of these stories and thoughts as part of their podcast, the book was well worth the read. About fandom and what makes one a soccer fan (day drinking) and about life, love, and life lessons. And also redheads and sad naps and grief bacon. Could not ask for more.

[Matt Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the words of Davo, this is a brand extension. A hilarious and comedic one at that, explaining many of the tropes and quips of this soccer commentary duo. The only knock is that if you don't know the show, this won't make nearly as much sense as it does to a GFOP like myself who listens regularly. That's OK though. If you like soccer, particularly the English Premier League, these gents are top-notch crap (by their own admission and branding, of course).

[Jonny Parshall · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish this was the full edition as it appeared in print. But I suppose we cannot expect the authors to sit around for that many hours without losing their voice. Two things they'll never lose: their unique, quirky brand of sporting humour, and their expanded knowledge of the footballing world and its history.

"A book which is akin to a French version of the magnificently haunting “Ohio” by Stephen Markley. I cannot recommend this enough."
-Rog

[Tom Denker · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got it as a gift years after putting it on my Christmas list when I was more into MiB. But by the time I tried to read it , my interest had waned in their particular brand of *gestures vaguely towards the Crap Part of Soho*. They're still as good at is as they have been, it just really isn't for me anymore.

Still loved that their love for the sport and America came out. I want to try Roger Bennett's book still. Hoping I like it better.

[Ken · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun build up to the World Cup.

It brings me more joy to have than it does to read, if that makes any sense. Consuming tons of the Men in Blazers podcasts and tv episodes creates value for this as a piece of merchandise. It’s like a really cool concert poster.

If you are a GFOP, it’s worth getting.

[Jay Hanewald · Rating 2 out of 5]

A good companion book to GFOP. Encyclopedia Blazertannica is ideal for someone who can't get enough Men In Blazers. For a wider audiance, this books lacks enough substance or laugh-out-loud moments to be worth more than a casual glance at Barnes & Noble before moving elsewhere in the soccer section.