What We Not Finna Do

by Erin McLaughlin

This perfectly imperfect guide features 10 chapters of advice that's short, sweet, and straight to the point. Filled with humor, personal anecdotes, and an unnecessary amount of meme references, each chapter is focused on a specific mistake women make when it comes to dating and how we can navigate the dating world better in order to preserve and protect ourselves. What We Not Finna Do empowers women to choose themselves over love and men, crushing and redefining everything women were taught to believe about love and relationships. Self-love is the name of the game and this is your playbook.

98 pages, Paperback

Published March 3, 2018

Reviews

[Bookisshhh · Rating 2 out of 5]

This work was provided to me in exchange for an honest review. All words and opinions are my own.

Erin Mclaughlin, a young twenty-something author debuts with, “What We Not Finna Do : The Broken Girl’s Guide To Love.” Reading like a manifesto stating 10 things women are not finna do in their relationships with men so as not to be hurt, dominated or fall into traditional roles wherein women get short shrift.

Mclaughlin has a fantastic sense of humor and as I was reading I thought she could do her own much funnier and equally pointed version of “Sex And The City” for her generation. The author actually references the show within her narrative and does some self comparisons to one of the characters. Additionally, McLaughlin peppers her rants with tidbits of detail which led her to publishing this work but her story needs clear retelling to enhance her credibility and create deeper value for her advice. She frequently meanders from her hysterical and/or painful rants to psychological insights into the behaviors of men and women in relationships. Unfortunately some of rants are lengthy and distract from a chapter’s central purpose. Structure needs more attention for her readers who are seeking understanding and a plan from her.

Mclaughlin has done a lot of work on herself and some of this she shares. She discloses her predispositions and takes the taboo out of using therapy to foster self growth. Though a more full disclosure should accompany her story at the beginning of the book or chapter.

There are some keen observations made regarding men and their socialization but the generalizations of men all of which are negative does not provide for a spectrum which people and men clearly maintain. No one group is all one way or the other. There are shades within the gray areas of life which Mclaughlin will likely discuss when she’s a forty something author (which I’m thinking she will be) and as she enjoys the magic of passed time and it’s capacity to heal, perhaps she will turn to crafting the good fiction she’s so capable of writing.

Erinshared her recovery story, her pain, and her growth, and I credit her for her thrift, bravery and commitment.

[BookOfCinz · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my review.

This is a very short read so I was able to read it in one sitting. The book basically gives a ten step recommendation or guide on dating, the things women should and shouldn't be doing. I found the writing very engaging and funny. I felt it erred on the side of being very layman and simple at times but the writing got the information across. While I appreciate the writer's experience, I felt there were a lot of generalization and we need to cautious of the "all men are trash" narrative.

Overall, if you've been through a heart-break you will appreciate what is covered in this book. If you are trying to drop those Fuckboys, this book can also be a guide.

[Gloria · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was a quick read with lots of great information. I love Erin's honesty and sense of humor and think this is a great book for all women who date men. Erin's writing is relatable and it's one of the few books I have read on dating and love that does not sugarcoat anything and is truly honest about the way men are socialized to be trash.

[chantel nouseforaname · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of course! Of course!

5 stars because Erin McLaughlin is fucking hilarious. 5 stars because she hits the nail on the head.

I’ve been going through this moment of trying to consider what love means to me and what role romantic love plays or should play in my life. This book really highlighted so many key elements of the ways that I think about romantic love and it was just such a blessing to read this short, with the times, down-to-earth book by someone who has experienced many of my romantic life experiences. Somebody who understands what I’m thinking. Black women know black women. This is a book for us.

I’ve recommended this book to a few of my friends and will continue to do so.

I can almost hear the loud complaints from men who’d read this book, but whatever man. It’s not for you.

[岩倉 NIV7 · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is absolutely not for me and not at all a vibe that I understand, and I would buy a dozen more in support of the author (and her revenge). The entire text seems like a bunch of doubletalk, affirming and denying in equal measure, and often right in a row. A choose-your-own horoscope, if you will. That being said, it seems like just the thing to read if you know what you want to do, or have a big decision to make that you need some confidence in making, because whatever reasons you need to justify what you're about to do, this book has them in spades. It was a very interesting read, but I couldn't really connect to it.

[Dynysha Welch · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think that this book is a perfect guide for someone who is going through a break up or just trying to figure life out. The factor that she is so real, raw and uncut makes this book better because I could relate.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the more humbling titles on my bookshelf (right next to the Smart Girl's Guide to Getting Broke Up With...yup), this millennial guide was at times profound, riddled with typos and a hasty pace, and all around a hilarious read was definitely a snappy read.