An Outsider Inside

by R.J. Samuel

For Irish-Indian lesbian activist, JAYA DILLON, an outsider who craves belonging over all else, survival depends on hiding the truth of who she is and who she loves - from herself.
In the heated run-up to Ireland’s referendum on same-sex marriage, she finds herself trapped between the “Yes” and “No” sides. And Jaya's got a boulder on her shoulder about bisexual women and being brown in Ireland.
While clearing out an Indian couple’s rental house in Galway, she discovers a manuscript, written by the wife, Lana, who disappeared in worrying circumstances. When Jaya travels to France, she comes closer to the characters in Lana’s unfinished novel than she ever imagined possible. And she is shoved back into contact with her ex- fiancée, Chloe, who is planning her own wedding. To a man.
Jaya is drawn into a fictional world that may be truer than reality. As she fights to uncover the truth, everything she thought she knew about her politics and her place in the world turns on its head as she falls for the elusive Lana, is attracted to the charming, gay French-Algerian Ishmael and his beautiful sister Isabella, and confronts her unresolved feelings and dread over the choices Chloe is making.
Can she find Lana and the truth in time to save Chloe … without losing herself?

Genres: Fiction, Romance, Mystery, LGBT, Lesbian, Adult, Contemporary

Paperback

First published June 25, 2017

About the author

Site: www.rjsamuel.com
Email: R.J_Samuel@yahoo.com
Twitter: @R_J_Samuel
Instagram: @RJSamuel_Author
Facebook: www.facebook.com/RJSamuelAuthor

R J Samuel was born in Nigeria, to Indian parents. She spent many years qualifying to be a medical doctor first in Nigeria, then Ireland, but ran away from home to do a Masters in IT. She settled on IT as a career rather than Medicine as she thought computers might be more logical than people, but that hasn’t always proven to be the case. She remained Ireland for many years, apart from a few years in the southwest of France where she ran a restaurant-bar despite having absolutely no interest in restaurants, except for eating in them. She considers herself almost Irish, almost Indian, and almost American. She now lives in Atlanta in America where, in her latest creative outburst,
she wants to establish an artist retreat in a mostly unusable property.
Her story ‘Helmets’ was shortlisted for the 2011 Over the Edge ‘New Writer of the Year Competition’ and she was the only entrant to have both her fiction and her poetry long-listed for the Doire Press ‘1st Annual International Fiction and Poetry Chapbook Competition’ in January 2012. Her fiction entry, ‘The Vision Painter,’ went on to be shortlisted for this competition and was the basis for her second novel, ‘Falling Colours – The Misadventures of a Vision Painter.’ Her short stories ‘Parallel Lives’ (2012) and ‘The Alleyway’ (2013) were shortlisted and her poetry entry was longlisted (2016) for the Over the Edge ‘New Writer of the Year Competition’.
Her published novels – ‘Heart Stopper’, The Vision Painter series (‘Falling Colours’, ‘Casting Shadows’) which received an Honorable Mention in the 2013 Rainbow Awards, and ‘A Place Somewhere’, which was a finalist for the Ann Bannon Popular Choice and the Tee Corinne Cover Design Awards, are set in Ireland, India, and America. Her fifth novel, ‘An Outsider Inside’, is set in Ireland and France and tells the story of an Irish-Indian lesbian activist who finds the troubling manuscript left behind by a missing Indian woman.

She has also published a short story collection ("The Alleyway and other Short Stories") featuring the stories above and others.

Reviews

[Pin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Through a fellow reviewer on Goodreads, I had the honor to read one of the drafts of An Outsider Inside, and again this ARC version. I fell in love with the draft version right away, fearing that I would not like the changes that have been made, which proved to be totally unnecessary because the story has become even better.
We follow this story in various ways -- present, past, reading the book in the book, and through various viewpoint/tense changing -- first person past tense, first person present tense, third person past tense. Do not let that scare you, because everything has its purpose, and is done very neatly. Samuel masterfully tells her story to the very end.
The story itself is solid, very interesting with some great twists, and above all original. The unique and sometimes even bizarre plot development requires careful reading, here and there even going back and re-reading a paragraph or two. In fact I read the draft version twice in a row. First time rushing for the truth (in addition to drama and romance there is some nicely packed mystery) and the second time more slowly, savoring it. This third reading was pure enjoyment. But do not think that this is a light read. Not at all. The storyline is dark and intense in many places, and very emotionally charged. And again it is humorous and full of life in other places.
Samuel is very strong in characterization. Her characters are very real and complex. None of them are stock. Even her villain is a three-dimensional human being and even more terrifying because of that. All of her characters are unique in a way. I found herself thinking about Lana, Jaya, Ishmael, Zara, Isabella, Sapna... About their life, fate or appearance... I googled about arranged marriages in India, about racism, and some other themes from the book. I even reviewed some of my own viewpoints and reactions (e.g. the first thing I think when I see a person of different skin color). Closely related to the topic of characterization is the topic of diversity. This book covers a lot of that. To a surprising extent. You name it, and it is there. A lesser writer than Samuel would be lost in all that. But she swims like a fish in the deep waters of diversity.
The romance between the protagonists is special, sweet and touching. The ending is strong and satisfying with all nicely wrapped up loose ends, and that means a lot to me. We all know that book endings are serious business, right?
All in all, this is one of those books that you will remember, find yourself thinking about and read again. It is that good. I highly recommend it to anyone wanting an intense and interesting read full of diversity.

5 stars

July 2, 2017

*This ARC was given to me for an honest review.*

[Lex Kent · Rating 5 out of 5]

4 1/2 Stars. This book was excellent! First I do want to say, I did do a little beta reading for this book. I didn't know the author beforehand, so I don't believe I am bringing any biases to the table. I was actually nervous thinking what if I didn't like the story, how would I convey that to the author? Luckily, from the first draft, I really enjoyed it. And the only differences in that draft and this finale one, is the book got even better. I'm really impressed with how RJ writes. I have not read anything quite like this before. I love books that are different. This really was a great read.

This book is about Jaya, who prides herself on being a lesbian activist. However, she is not as inclusive to the rest of the LGBTQ community. She has been burned twice by dating bisexual women. The last one left her at a civil ceremony. When she finds out her ex, who she still has feeling for, is marring a man, this just cements her prejudices. As a favor to her mother, Jaya helps to clean out a house that belonged to an Indian couple. Jaya find writings by the wife Lana, that just draws her in. Jaya is not sure if the writing is fact or fiction. All she knows for sure, is the wife is now missing. Can Jaya solve the mystery of Lana? And will Jaya be willing to follow her heart, if it means confronting her prejudices head on?

First I want to say, it was nice having the two main characters be POC. It was very interesting to have the main character be prejudicial, when the same sort of things happen to her. Jaya, is a flawed and stubborn character, but it was all the more rewarding watching her grow. The other main character Lana, we learn about through her writings. Lana is in an arranged marriage, and a lot of her scenes are not easy to read. This is not a light, fluffy book, it is filled with substance that makes you think and feel. I love when good books can make you do that. The other interesting thing about Lana's story, as a reader, you don't know if it is fact or fiction, until the end. This book is filled with twists and turns, and I just ate it all up.

I would consider this drama-romance. This book deals with tough subjects. You will cry, you will get mad, and you will feel uplifted. This book has it all. What I really enjoyed to, besides being a drama-romance, this book really is a mystery. What happened to Lana? Was she murdered, did she kill herself, did she escape? This book is like two stories, rolled into one, and is just brilliantly done.

If you are looking for a book that is different, that will make you think and feel, than this book is for you. I get tiered of reading books that are so similar. In comparison, this was such a breath of fresh air. I have read this twice, and loved it both times. I can't wait to read more from RJ.

An ARC was given to me by the author, for a honest review.

[Jem · Rating 4 out of 5]

Initial thoughts:

Bizarrely intricate plot...that almost went over my head...for most of the book. Touches on many, many issues beyond women loving women, such as bisexuality, xenophobia, biases within the lesbian community, institutionalized misogyny, etc. Not much romance as most characters in denial/hiding/confusion much of the time. A book within a book. Which added to the mystery, and my confusion. A little heavy on the proselytizing and this distracted me from the smooth flow of the story. What hooked me though was the mystery behind Lana's disappearance. The first half of the book, I read over 5 days because I couldn't speed read it (confusing), the latter half, in 5 hours straight because I can't stop. The writing is amazing, as usual.

------------------------------------------------
Review:

In my reading, I'm always after the next big surprise. The next big, unexpected twist that can make me go OMG. (Of course, as surprises go, they can just as easily have been a WTF. :) Rj Samuel has always been one of my go-to authors for original and unusual reads. Always expect the unexpected with this author. Now if only I remembered to follow my own advice. :)

My review will be spoiler free but it may *hint* at the big reveal. So if you love discovering these surprises for yourself, better not read the next 2 paragraphs and skip to the one after that instead.

I usually know what I'm getting into with this author (which is: I never know what to expect). What actually happened was, I ended up spending a good part (well, the dreamy parts that should have set my heart a-flutter) with a frown on my face instead. I know it's not what I was expecting (yeah, I asked for that, lol). But it's not supposed to be like that. This isn't what I read lesfic for. I thought, wait a minute, has there been some mistake? Was this book mis-classified in the wrong genre? Have I just picked up a non-lesfic book ? So many "we know better" pronouncements by her various characters only helped to increase my worry. To the point that I was rooting for the main character to just suck it up and run back to her ex (who I hated). And when the read % kept creeping upwards with no resolution in sight and no heart-fluttering passages, I was a little disappointed. Everything else about the book is pretty great, this is good literary fiction, no doubt. But silly romantic reader that I am, I was looking for the sparks. This is how it actually went: The main character would exchange googly looks with the main prospect, in what is supposed to be the most romantic scene with all the atmosphere and setup....and I'd go..... No No No !!! Stop that! Back off !! You don't want that!!! lol. Every single time when they're alone and it starts to get romantic, I'd silently scream in my head, NO!!! How romantic, lol. It didn't help too that I had trouble keeping track of who's who as there is a book within the book, which may or may not be fictional. So there are two sets of characters, with both similar and different names, who may correspond to real life characters or who may not. At one point, I was one confused and frustrated mess. Of course, I had an inkling of what's gonna happen. This is RJ Samuel, after all. But it couldn't be, could it? It's so farfetched...its impossible....unless.... Anyway, somewhere beyond the halfway point I finally put my romantic fantasies aside to concentrate on the book because by then the mystery had taken a sudden urgency, time was running out, and I was too engrossed in the story to care about who gets who. And bam! Me of such little faith. Haha, as I realized much, much later... basically at the end. I know, I know. I told me so. I should have trusted the author to make things right. 8)

So what happened? What happened was I got hoodwinked. Again. If ever there's a trick to forcing a reader to go whoa! at the end of a book and then immediately read the book a second time, the author's found it. A couple of authors have done that to me before (After Mrs. Hamilton, Code Name Verity). I wondered though, would the 'deception' have worked in real life? Probably not without actual, deliberate physical changes. Especially since both the protagonists are Indians, so the likelihood of Jaya not suspecting, and in such close proximity even, seemed a little farfetched. Granted she's probably only been around white Irish folk all her life :)...but still, she's a lesbian. She's worshipped the female body. She would know. ;) At the very least, she would strongly suspect. And definitely try to sneak a peek too or even better, cop a feel. :)

The book touches on a lot of issues that women and people who are different face everywhere. Especially women of color. The diminishing, the exclusion, the invisibility. And in the case of traditional patriarchal societies, where belonging and acceptance requires absolute conformity and obedience, even death and disfigurement. Kudos to the author for incorporating all of those serious issues into the narrative. And for weaving an intriguing, complex mystery to keep the reader turning pages. Probably the only issue over-belabored to the point of being preachy is the concept of bisexuality. I can understand perfectly one character's frustration with another for the latter's inability to trust the former just because she is 'bisexual'. But when two or three other people chime in repeatedly on the subject with regards to the lead character's seeming attraction to someone of the opposite sex, it felt overdone. I think it would have been better to let their relationship grow organically and let the reality of Jaya's feelings speak for themselves.

Bottom line: the book is a lot of things. It's a very intellectual and emotional read. It's a rich and touching tale of the universal need for belonging and acceptance. It's a convoluted mystery of a missing person and secret identities. And it's a most unusual love story.

4.25 stars

[JulesGP · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I finished Outsider Inside, I almost started A Place Somewhere because I did not want to leave RJ Samuel’s stories. Not just the characters or the places but the essence of her writing which is intensely powerful and enrapturing. I wanted to stay in her words.

It’s hard to talk specifics without spoilers because the entire book is an intricate puzzle. Jaya Dillon is Irish-Indian, a lesbian, and a woman who will not turn away from a wrong. Some people will run to a fight while others try to hush a situation. You see that happening a lot these days but Jaya is the epitome of an “I will not back down until someone hears me” kind of person. She is also still healing from a broken engagement.

Jaya is a journalist in Ireland, always captivated by a mystery so when she finds journals and a wedding saree while cleaning out a tenant’s house, her questioning fire is stoked. She follows the trail and uses it as a personal journey to help claim and fuse her own two cultures within. Witnessing the truth of another, brings a light into Jaya’s heart and helps her find a way to bring together her identity to a whole. Along the way, there’s page-turning intensity and striking supporting characters that will keep you guessing. A very special book.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot say enough good about how well An Outsider Inside is written. The language is often lyrical and always compelling, and Samuel’s narrative techniques held me on the edge of my seat. Most of the book shifts between Jaya’s experiences in the present, which is told from her perspective in the first person, Lana’s novel, and one other character’s perspective in the past and occasionally the present (no, I won’t say who because I don’t want to spoil the experience); both the novel and that other character’s perspective are told in the third person. These shifts add more questions than answers for most of the book, driving everything to an enthralling end that kept me up until 2 a.m. to finish it (let’s be honest, once I hit chapter 22, there was no way I was going to put it down—you’ll know what I mean when you read it). There’s no way I worked out all of the nuances on my first reading and I’m looking forward to reading it again so I can pull all the little pieces apart.

Full review (The Lesbian Review): http://www.thelesbianreview.com/outsi...

Full review (Curve Magazine): http://www.curvemag.com/Reviews/Revie...

[Agirlcandream · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure. I had the good fortune to be one of the beta readers for An Outsider Inside. I’ve watched this story morph and change into what I consider the author’s best work to date. This book has it all. Samuel examines prejudice in its many forms, the most obvious being skin colour and sexual orientation, the more subtle involving cultural diversity with underlying hints at domestic violence. She balances these darker themes with a message of hope, enlightenment, and opportunity for new beginnings. She adds humour to help diffuse the darkness. She writes with authority using her gorgeous prose and poetry to pull the reader into the lives of her characters both real and fictional. And yes, she even manages to fit in a bit of romance amidst the drama.

I am a huge fan of RJ Samuel because she continues to raise the level of literary excellence in lesbian fiction with her writing. Her plot twists are reminiscent of the works of Sarah Waters, her settings and understanding of the human condition rival the many books I’ve read by Emma Donoghue.

An Outsider Inside is a thought provoking read which will have you questioning your own bias and prejudices. It may also help you appreciate the privileges you take for granted.

ARC received from author for an honest review.

[Gaby LezReviewBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is in my list of recommended books of the month:

https://lezreviewbooks.wordpress.com/...

In the run-up to Ireland’s referendum on same-sex marriage, Irish-Indian lesbian activist Jaya Dillon has to confront her unresolved issues on bisexualty and her mixed-race origin. When she discovers a manuscript while tidying a rental house, she finds herself emotionally invested in search for its disappeared author.

This is not a typical romance and definitely not an easy read as it touches difficult identity issues such as race, gender and sexuality. On top of that, the author deals with politics, feminism and arranged marriages as well. Some of the real events described in this book are close to my heart as I live in Ireland and witnessed the process of the referendum vote on same sex marriage which was a great advancement for the LGBT community. The myriad of characters - mains or secondary, heroes or villains - are well rounded and realistic and for once I've found a set of credible Irish characters in lesfic. There is a book inside this book and Ms. Samuel works well to set each different writing styles. Regarding the mystery disappearance that Jaya tries to solve, the author keeps the reader guessing how events are going to develop including an unexpected twist at the end. It is a testing read, not always pleasant but surely worth it.

Overall, a very well written book. Highly recommended if you are in the mood for a challenging read. 4.5 stars.

See all my reviews at
www.lezreviewbooks.wordpress.com

[Velvet Lounger · Rating 5 out of 5]

R J Samuel’s latest novel "An Outsider Inside" is a polychromatic phantasmagoria - a constantly moving kaleidoscope of colour and character in which very few of the myriad players stand still long enough to be observed.

The overarching themes of identity, love, trust and belonging weave together as we move backwards and forwards between the life of an Indian couple coming to terms with their arranged marriage in small-town Ireland and the current incarnation of the various players with whom their lives have become intertwined. Overlaid on all of that is the complex undertone of prejudice… patriarchal, racial, homophobic, biphobic; external and obvious or internalised and just as damaging.

R J Samuel is an excellent storyteller and accomplished writer who somehow manages to lead the reader from A to B with side tours to P, X and J, while simultaneously challenging us to reconsider our own prejudices. This isn't a difficult read in the sense of being unpleasant in any way, but the very complexity of the characters’ lives, combined with issues such as domestic abuse, arranged marriages and mental health, make it a challenging read in that it challenges us to reconsider our own prejudice.

Like all really good literature this book will make you think. It will entertain, inform and enlighten the majority of us who have never experienced the life of a foreigner with a different skin colour in an extremely white and parochial community, or the concept of total sacrifice for the family, and while many of us have suffered homophobia, few have grown up in a society where the whole culture believes it is an abomination. The personal choices facing many of these characters will strike a chord; we are drawn in, caught up and immersed in their lives, and can't help but want to save them, sort them out, and see them live the "happy ever after" they deserve.

Each of R J’s books shows her development as a master craftswoman. The prose is delightful, the characters complex, the plot twisted into knots and the settings are beautifully described. Add onto all that a deep and meaningful observation of humanity and a clever portrayal of the impact of multiple prejudices and our very personal reactions to them and you have an excellent and thought provoking novel.

This is one book I will find the time to reread, it will take at least 2 visits to really see the subtle interplay of personalities and fully appreciate the complex personal journeys that RJ has woven into this colourful tale.

[DS · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very thought provoking story of love, self-discovery and acceptance just to name a few, as there are so many facets to this book. R.J. does an amazing job of keeping the reader entrenched in the story and trying to figure things out. (no spoilers here.) Just when you think you have it all figured out - you don't. Great story with amazing depth.

[Ocean . · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Magnificent Story

I found myself thinking, “Wow!” more than once while reading this book. Not only did I enjoy the writing, the “voice” of the main character, Jaya, but the story is intriguing and becomes more complicated and mysterious as the pages turn. The characters are relatable and multi-dimensional. R.J. does a wonderful job exploring the push/pull of complex emotions that Jaya goes through after her relationship has ended, and she’s left wallowing in muddled feelings of pain, confusion, anger, and regret. There are wonderful surprises for the reader in this book. R.J. has skillfully crafted a magnificent story.

[Gabriella · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I wasn’t really attached to the storyline during the first half of the book...I liked Jaya, but I wasn’t sure how her biphobia would get solved. Then about halfway through, I suddenly found myself in the depths of frenetic obsession. Once we’re introduced to all the characters, it gets REALLY intense, REALLY fast. The second half of the book is at once deliciously frustrating, romantically tension-filled, and utterly horrifying. Like dang, this is one of those books I know I have to reread at some point. An Outsider Inside is great because it gives you room to theorize while you read. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be right about some things and completely taken aback by others!

[Elisa Rolle · Rating 5 out of 5]

2017 Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention: An Outsider Inside R.J. Samuel
1) Very intriguing, thought provoking read. My 1st story from this author. Initially not sure I would enjoy this one however the story was very well written from the plot to the characters. There is a lot going on in this book and keeps the readers interest.

[Carol Douglas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has an unusual protagonist -- an Irish Indian lesbian, Jaya. Her mother was American and her father was from India, but "father" is a misnomer because he dropped her mother before Jaya was born and had no interest in his daughter. Jaya's mother Zara, a feminist, moved to Ireland and raised Jaya there.

Jaya is deeply concerned about belonging. She's a lesbian activist who plans to be one of the first lesbians to marry under Ireland's law permitting same-sex marriages. But jaya's still preoccupied with an ex-lover.

Zara takes Jaya to France, but doesn't tell her that Chloe, the ex-lover, is there and wants help in planning her marriage to a man. Jaya is furious.

But Jaya is also focused on a manuscript she found about an Indian woman in an arranged marriage to a man who brought her to Ireland and abused her.

The book deals with love, sexual identity, and race. The plot is complicated and the writing is very good.

[Dannica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, twisty book like this one I'm going to need to reread. I'll let it rest for a while first but I'm definitely coming back to it. I SAW SOME OF THOSE TWISTS COMING THOUGH. It was a situation where I predicted a twist, then decided I was wrong about it, then realized a little further on that I might still be right, and then WAS RIGHT AFTER ALL. So yeah, I'm feeling pretty dang smug right now. but um. More on topic.

The Premise
Jaya is an Indian-Irish lesbian with a grudge against bisexuals, who she believes to be either straight and playing around or gay and conforming to a repressive society. A grudge partly formed out of a desire to fit in with lesbian culture, partly formed by painful experiences in the past, particularly with a bisexual ex named Chloe. So when her mother drags her off to France to help plan Chloe's wedding, she's not exactly happy about it.

In France she discovers a mysterious chain of events: Chloe's (male) fiance apparently had an Indian wife named Lana who seems to have gone crazy and run away from him, possibly to become a lesbian. Using a novel manuscript Lana left behind that may or may not be autobiographical, Jaya investigates what exactly happened to Lana and who Lana was. Meanwhile, an unexpected crush on a gay man named Ishmael forces Jaya out of her comfort zone and she reexamines everything she knows about sexuality and gender.

My Thoughts
I have a tendency to remember books I buy in shorthand, and what I remembered about this one was "Indian-Irish lesbians and political activism". The political activist part is certainly relevant, but not as much as I thought. This book is mostly about the mystery of what happened to Lana and Jaya figuring herself out. It's a massive tangle of plot threads, every one of which is intriguing. I love how Samuel explores gender identity and the struggle to define oneself, especially when one is entangled by varieties of repression and self hate.

Jaya's biphobia turned me off at first but by the end I could understand it. She was not only hurt by her past with bisexual women but by the way she already felt excluded from Irish lesbian culture in some ways by her race. Speaking of which, I loved how Jaya and Lana had very different experiences of being ethnically Indian in a European cultural setting--Lana being connected more to Indian culture where Jaya, half-Indian and raised by a white mother, is more cut off. Lana in general is a fascinating character, though for a long time you only see her through her writing and not in person. Or do you? hm hm

And on the subject of Lana's novel, I loved how you have to sift through it to figure out what the truth of Lana's past is; it's not as straightforward as it seems. And Jaya falling for Lana through her writing makes sense: not only is Lana in her writing very intimate and the kind of person Jaya would fall for, but it's natural that Jaya as a writer would fall for someone in this way.

The one thing I didn't like was that Jaya's love for Ishmael often feels more informed than naturally built. However, Ishmael's character is completely fascinating, so while I didn't always feel his chemistry with Jaya, I didn't particularly mind either. And he grows more and more interesting as the novel goes on.

As I said, I'll have to reread. VERY GOOD BOOK. Recommended for the gender/sexuality play and for the twistiest plot I've read in quite a while.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! This was exquisitely written, thought provoking, and just had all the elements of a great book! Highly recommend!

[Hope Freed · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unlike anything I’ve read before…

I hardly know where to start with this review as this book is so different, twisty and captivating as the various threads are thrown out and then gradually brought together to a satisfying conclusion.
Our MC, Jaya, is an Irish-Indian raised by a white mother and not someone who has ever really felt she truly belongs. She identifies as lesbian and has been hurt by other women ‘experimenting’. She has deep inbuilt biphobia having been left shortly before a commitment ceremony by her bisexual girlfriend. Jaya goes on a holiday to France with her mother and encounters a number of characters who all play a significant role in this. All of Jaya’s preconceptions are challenged when she finds herself inextricably drawn to a man, the sensitive and shy Ishmael..
Lana, on the other hand, is also Irish-Indian but is the dutiful daughter of a traditional family. When her sister runs away for love, Lana steps into the breach to marry her sister’s intended.
The way these two characters are brought together via Lana’s writing of a novel is masterful. On the French holiday, Jaya encounters her ex (now due to marry a man) and others who are slowly revealed as having roles in helping Lana escape the bounds and brutality of her marriage.
This is unlike any book I’ve ever read before and I urge you to read it. It’s the kind of book that makes you want to go back to the beginning and reread simply to get all the intricacies and nuances along the way! As I’ve already said, masterful!

[milu · Rating 4 out of 5]

An Outsider Inside is a messy book. But, you know, it wears it on its sleeve: full chapters at a time are dedicated to the purported fiction writing of an unhappy Indian woman, which the protag somehow chances upon and becomes fascinated with, all the while dealing with her ex's impending marriage to an extremely dodgy guy who the ex is hiding her bisexuality from, who turns out to be the mysterious Indian woman's ex-husband, whose role in the fictional (or is it?) book appears increasingly abusive. Meanwhile said protag, a proud gold star lesbian, is falling helplessly in love with a man. But also, kinda, with his sister. What?

I won't lie, this novel is a bit maddening. R. J. Samuel balances so many reveals at once that the result couldn't help but be somewhat contrived. And yet she maintains such tenderness for all of the characters, including Jaya with her deeply self-sabotaging biphobia, that it's hard to hold it against her.

The author's commitment to exploring the complexities of postcolonial queerness is endearing, too. Leaving aside the overwhelmingly positive portrayal of a single white mom to a biracial child and, more concerningly, of a white lesbian cop (thankfully a minor character) this was an unexpected read with a big heart. That counts for something. Actually, for a lot.

(Special mention of the portrayal of Southern France, which was uncommonly accurate for an English-language book. Not that i care about my country's reputation— let it burn— but i do care about sloppy clichéd writing relying on a foreign setting for mere colour, and this was not that.) (Edit: hadn't read author bio -- unsurprisingly she's lived in the area she describes =)

[Celine · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a book! I was instantly intrigued with the plot as Jaya exploring the mysterious fictional /nonfictional life of Lana, the wife of an Indian couple; based on the notebook she unintentional discovered binding a man her ex girlfriend is about to marry may or may not be Lana’s abusive husband… And that is just the beginning…

I was definitely intimidated by such a rich and powerful story with each prose, essay and poetry so beautifully and poetically written.

But what keeps me continue staying up late thinking is how those characters struggling with their sense of belonging in the community, afraid of being left out, being minority and outsiders which is actually happening to everyone almost everywhere. I guess sometimes we have choices to make, to stand grounds for the people we love for what we truly believe in, and sometimes we need to be willing to hear more from our hearts.

Loved the cover design too.

[Deirdre S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give this 4.5 stars. I stop short of a full five because it took me forever to get into it, but it flowed beautifully from about the halfway point on. Considers important aspects of insideness and outsideness and how they morph and shift as you keep looking and eventually learn more. Consider something deeply over time and it reveals more and more layers. Each layer considered alone seems simple, but together the layers demonstrate that the simple things are an illusion. One that continued, persistent attention dispels.

[Avery Friend · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was interested in the summary and the prologue! Then I started chapter one, and the biphobia, gender essentialism, and overall radfem rhetoric and beliefs held by Jaya (main POV character) and characters around her were so abhorrent and explicit on virtually every page that I stopped after four chapters. I have no idea whether or not that's interrogated or gets better as the book progresses, but it showed no signs of it and was both unexpected and offensive enough (and the story/writing itself was not nearly strong enough to continue in hope) that I had no interest in finding out.

[Jamie (TheRebelliousReader) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars. A very interesting and unique read. A mixture of mystery, self discovery and identity. The writing was good but the way the story was told was a bit much at times and I found that I got lost. Still, it was a really good read. I didn’t know what to expect going in which I think was for the best. I jumped in and enjoyed the ride. I don’t have much to say about this one but I would definitely recommend it.

[Wendy Turner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I found this book a little slow to start, I really enjoyed this book once it got going. I liked the way the author used the characters to draw out the mystery and it felt like you were really following along with their lives and seeing their struggles. I will definitely read mor by Ms Samuel.

[Mothership 99 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow..... Certainly not your average lesfic. Intricately woven and fabulous story telling. I skimmed so often because of impatience that I now must re-read, this is not an exercise in instant gratification but a true joy to savour.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me think and I love books that challenge my mind. It also gave me space to consider my own biases and space to recognize it is okay to not always know the correct terminology as long as I’m willing to learn. I loved this book!

[Evan Chidley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think maybe this book just wasn't for me. I was drawn to it initially because as a bi woman who has experienced the biphobia in this book, I wanted to see why lesbians might feel that way and see how someone can grow out of that. And, to be fair, I did enjoy that part of the book- watching Jaya be faced with her own confusion and realize that her biphobic views were unfair and finally understand things from her ex-fianceé's perspective. The story wasn't bad, and the twists are what kept me reading, just to get to the end to see how it all panned out. But I just couldn't get into her style of writing, and many times I found it hard to follow. Also, I mean, obviously Lana's notebooks were details of her own life. That, along with the fact that this woman is now missing/presumed dead, should be enough of a red flag for Chloe to not marry him?! Let's not forget this man is also clearly homophobic, so Chloe, who left Jaya because of her inability to accept that she was bi, is now apparently satisfied to be with someone who has no knowledge of her bisexuality and would also not be able to accept it. THEN, when the ex-wife, who is not dead but has been living as a man to hide from her ex-husband, shows up at Chloe's wedding day to say she'll be "watching him"-- mind you, after he slit her wrists and ABORTED their child, resulting in her losing all of her reproductive organs-- Chloe decides to go through with the wedding anyway. What the actual fuck? Don't worry, it all ends up ok, the abusive psychopath never hits her, just "loses his temper", so then they break up. Uh, okay. Meanwhile, Jaya and Lana are now getting married. Which is fine, and I understand that Lana had to be Ishmael originally to challenge Jaya's biphobic views, but then naturally he ends up being a "real" woman, so it's all okay, and they can just be happy lesbians together. But at the wedding, Lana is still presenting as Ishmael, why...??? It just doesn't add up to me. But, to each their own, and the more LGBTQ fiction the better.

[Reneetc · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a gripping tale!  Congrats to Samuel for winning the 2018 Ann Bannon Popular Choice award. 

I'm not a fan of books that jump from past to present because I lose focus. However, in An Outsider Inside, the emotional connection between a past tale and the present one kept me glued to my seat til I finished the book—homework be damned. In addition, I like Samuel's pacing from the past to present (or scene to scene). Just about every character have a certain level of complexity that's engaging. The major and minor plots are well-developed and interestingly multidimensional. Samuel kept me guessing about Lana, Jaya, Ishmael, and what Chole would ultimately do. Towards the end, there's a turn of events I totally did not see coming. An Outsider Inside is one of those stories that stays with you.

Great book! I highly recommend it! Read it...like yesterday!

[Kaytlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

R. J. Samuel's writing is quite good. Her plot was well organized and she kept suspense going throughout. However, the story seemed to wrap up too neatly and some parts of the story seemed to be too contrived. I am glad that I read it, however, as I love the main character and her identity struggle.