Getting Real about Getting Older: Conversations about Aging Better

by Linda K. Stroh, Karen K. Brees

The first book to open up a real conversation about aging. What has the experience of getting older felt like for you? It seems that life's milestones pass by in a flash: graduating from school, landing your first job, getting married, having kids. Most people look forward to these events and have some expectations about what each life milestone will be like. But what about when you get older? How can you continue to live fully in your sixties, seventies, and beyond? Linda K. Stroh and Karen K. Brees asked nearly one thousand older people about the challenges and joys of growing older and compiled their collective wisdom into this must-have book, focusing on important topics such as: Full of advice and stories from a wide variety of older people, Getting Real about Getting Older examines love, loss, and changing identities, and will help you take control of your concerns about aging and experience wisdom and joy as an older adult.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Health

304 pages, Paperback

First published November 6, 2018

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Covering everything you can think of in an easy to read format, not as depressing as you might think it would be, with great input and ideas.

[Barry Martin Vass · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Betty Davis once famously remarked that "Old age isn't for sissies", and that's as true now as it was then. With the possible exception of adolescence, there isn't another time in your life when your mind and body are going through so many physical and emotional changes. Authors Linda Stroh and Karen Brees have had many conversations with seniors and used a broad-spectrum questionnaire to find out what seniors think and feel, and it is a revelation. Here's one of the answers to the questions: "I grew up with the idea that the world was black and white, good and bad, right and wrong. It took me a long time to learn that the shades of gray are where life is lived. It is managing those shades of gray with integrity that makes your life both challenging and unique. Don't keep wishing it were different. - Seventy-two-year-old living-in-the-gray-area gal." Stroh and Brees, both PhD's, have done a good job researching this, and you get a clear idea of just how retirees are coping with their new lives. Here's an example of the prose: "Having a strong and clear sense of self can help us navigate the challenges of growing older and help ensure healthy adaptation to the latter years of our lives. The trick is to strike a balance between our sense of who we've been and who we are becoming. Having a healthy perception isn't all it takes to develop a healthy identity. How and where we fit into our social settings and social groups (family, friends, work, community) are also extremely important." Bottom line: if you're a senior already retired or looking forward to retirement, Getting Real about Getting Older is an invaluable learning tool.

[Susan Lobravico · Rating 4 out of 5]

So glad I read this..It has me realize all the new physical and emotional changes I feel are felt by all those hitting their sixties, seventies, eighties and beyond. There are so many infirmities to consider, however, so many wonderful experiences as well. Just have to put one foot in front of the other, try your best to live a good, clean life and enjoy each day as it comes. Our children and and grandchildren can be the gems of life...a huge comfort when needed, however, a relationship that needs adjustments along the way. Most important are our peers...close friends and loving relationships are a gift.

[Lenore Kuipers-Cummins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think that this book will be staying on my shelves as a reference book. It is full of references of things that I think about all the time; especially growing older. This book concentrates on things about aging...aging better. It is easy to read, has a brief summation, "reality check", at the end of each chapter, as well as a list of helpful organizations and resources, footnotes, a bibliography and index.

Growing older is not as easy as you think it is going to be. It discusses all of those issues that you wonder about, but don't really ask anyone about.

I highly recommend this book.

[Karen Ng · Rating 5 out of 5]

My hemorrhagic stroke last year elicited lots of new topics into my reading: neuroscience, stroke recovery, neuroplasticity and, as in this book, against.
From family members and friends in real life, I've learned that although most of us prepare as ND research for most important events and milestones in our one and only life. Aging is something that no one seems to prepare much about. It seems to just happened overnight for me. This is a very informative and easy to read book for the topic. I highly recommend it for everyone.

[Mark O'brien · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a valuable book for those of us 60 and older. It looks at aging, relationships etc., and reminds us to make friends, get exercise and consider new activities and perspectives.

You already know this points, but the points are driven home by comments in the book from numerous people who have had their own experiences --good and bad -- and it reminds us that seniors aren't alone, and we do have options to do more than yell at kids to get off the lawn.

[Paul Gardner · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is a lot of wisdom in these pages, esp. where how to deal with kids and grandkids, and the issues older people have to deal with every day. I picked up a lot of hints about what to expect as I get older and it is well worth a read followed by some thinking time.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full of interviews from senior citizens, the authors bring many things to light about getting older: the vulnerabilities, the struggles, the epiphanies, and the joys.

[Linnea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting and very positive. But not enough for a book, seems like it should be in AARP instead

[Amy Weber · Rating 3 out of 5]

Liked this book -- helped me get perspective.

[Mj · Rating 2 out of 5]

Skimmed. A few good nuggets

[Anne Patkau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes slow-going. Or skip parts. One section is on kids, none on loss grief. Some amusing bits.

Two senior ladies interviewed and surveyed other seniors. The outstanding result was surprise. Who is in the mirror? Why do my knees hurt? How do I keep fit without yoga stretches?

Yoga is put into spirituality. Nearing death, many wonder about after death. Some give up church, return to their own stew of faith, or soothing childhood rituals. Well, many faiths have similarities.

The overall message is to stay curious, involved. There are advice steps. But most is a compilation of middle and upper-class coping strategies. No whinging about being stuck in a crowded smelly screaming, poor-diet jail of an institution. Optimist learns Bingo.

52-2022 # true

[Marcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

As many of us know, getting old isn’t for sissies. But do you ever wonder if you are the only one having certain thoughts about the whole thing? This book will help banish that thought. Open and honest people talking about getting old will let you know you’re not alone.

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Research supports the notion that the strongest feelings are from parent to child. Most parents love their children way more than their children love them. Really understanding this can eliminate a lot of tension.

You can continue to be a role model, an example of how to be a healthy, well adjusted and successful older person.

All parents have the capacity to instill shame, guilt or fear at any stage in their children's lives. We must guard against doing so. There is never a better time than now to start making our adult children feel accepted, loved, and respected.

It doesn't matter how much you have. If you desire more, you are not wealthy. It's a state of mind. It is about managing your desires.

You've got to adapt to change. it's the only way to keep your head on straight and your priorities in order.

It took me a long time to learn that the shades of gray are where life is lived. It is managing those shades of gray with integrity that make your life both challenging and unique. Don't keep wishing it were different.

[Patricia Nickols · Rating 3 out of 5]

found this book depressing