Fugly is a book made for a very specific type of reader, and the protagonist will be a make-or-break for most readers. If you were a young person who grew up introverted, bullied, insecure (especially about weight issues) have a messed up family, and have immersed yourself heavily in online culture, you’ll find that Beth is someone you could relate to and understand pretty well- to a certain extent. Beth is a very polarizing character, and while there were many quotes and thoughts from her that I could never agree with (such as her channeling her frustrations with her life into lashing out at others) there were just as many that put my feelings about my insecurities into words, almost like I was reading from my very own diary.
If you don’t relate to any of the traits I listed above, you may find Beth to be absolutely insufferable and I can completely see where people could feel that way, without being in any of her shoes, I don’t think there’s any way for someone to enjoy reading her thoughts and actions. Beth is arguably a terrible person and completely flawed, but in many ways could be the most relatable protagonist for anyone who used the internet as a coping mechanism, when it comes to fandom or codependent relationships with online friends. While “trolling” is a huge part of Beth and arguably the worst thing about her, there are other parts of Beth that can deeply resonate with a specific audience.
I was one of those readers that could understand Beth outside of her toxic trolling, while I could never picture myself doing what she did, I could certainly understand how someone could be driven to it. People hurt others online for much less than what Beth goes through, it’s not a justification- rather an exploration of how someone who feels deeply depressed with anxiety and severe trauma can choose to handle their issues in the most hateful way possible. It’s in my opinion, the best part of the book. The deep dive into how Beth overthinks about something simple such as walking in front of people, being embarrassed to say excuse me, and fretting over eating in front of others, is a feeling I related very well to as a young adult/teen.
Where things start to get rocky is how we handle the other characters in this story. I was left feeling confused about how we were supposed to handle or react to certain characters, I'm being shown through the narrator's perspective that a character by the name of Dizzy is meant to be a cruel mean girl, who arguably fits everything that Beth fears, a stranger who judged her by her weight and is cruel to not only her- but others around her such as Beth’s new friend Amy. However, a few chapters later, I'm told that Dizzy herself was bullied and has anxiety, and our main character shares the same sentiment I did while reading, on how that didn’t make sense given her behavior and treatment of others.
You could blame this on Beth being a severely unreliable narrator projecting her insecurities and feelings onto these characters, however, it’s hard to accept that Dizzy was misunderstood when we clearly see her in situations and scenes that are cut-and-dry examples of her being a mean girl to not only Beth, but to her roommates as well. While Dizzy still didn’t deserve the harassment sent her way even at her absolute worst, it felt like the book couldn’t make up its mind on whether Dizzy was purposely mean or a victim of our narrator’s judgemental assumptions.
Amy was also another character I couldn’t figure out, she was as flawed as the rest of her roommates, and yet didn’t seem to receive the wrath of Beth as others did, even though there were scenes that had me shocked by how out of touch she was, an example being her view on University being about the experience- rather than about studying or grades. To someone like Beth who didn’t get accepted and couldn’t afford to go due to her family’s poor financial situation, I was shocked to read that Beth had virtually no criticisms. Beth seemed to get more angry about Amy eating pizza than her blatantly admitting she was burning her parent's money for fun. For someone like Beth who was counting out coins to pay for a meal, it was very confusing to see why she put a brutally flawed Amy on such a pedestal. "Amy was a perfect person!" but didn’t respect boundaries and ditched her friend late at night for a boy without even letting her know where she was. AFTER forcing her to come out, and buying her a ticket without asking. I would have taken any of her roommates over her, Patrick seemed like a sweetheart if not oblivious.
Tori was one of the best-written characters in this book. I fully believe that the author has known a Tori, or is close with someone who has been through a Tori. As someone who grew up immersed in internet communities, I could tell a mile away that Tori was deceitful, and yet I was still riding with Beth and understanding her feelings completely, how exciting it is to finally have a friend that accepts you within your safe zone, the dopamine you get from hearing a message notification to becoming borderline obsessive over the other.
It’s a perfect example of a character who never experienced love or affection before, and latching onto the first person who would give her a fraction of attention. I get it that this protagonist isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve never read a book that perfectly portrayed all the magic of online relationships and feelings and captured how devastating it is when it all falls apart. Beth was wrong in everything she did, but I had empathy for her as she waited by her computer, just hoping that Tori would reach back out to her, wishing she could turn back time just so things could go back to the way they used to be. It wasn’t love, it was a toxic codependency that many young adults go through if they allow themselves to give too much of their time online, trying to fill a void with the safety of screens instead of real-life connections. However to someone like Beth who doesn't know any different, it’s just as devastating, and the writer captured the entire journey with Tori perfectly.
What ruined the book for me was around the third point of the book, everything started going to shit- and it felt like the writer didn’t really know how to fix everything. As a reader, I was wondering how on earth there was going to be a resolution because once the truth came out about Beth’s actions with Dizzy’s harassment, I can’t imagine anyone would forgive her. Well once everything inevitably did start falling apart, and our character receives the consequences and of her actions (including a plot twist that I didn’t expect) we’re left in an awkward place where the character has nothing left, and arguably shouldn’t be forgiven by her friends. However, that’s where the main problem I have with this storytelling comes in, and why my rating dropped so low. There was arguably no redeeming the main character to get back in good graces with her group of friends, even after saving Amy- I still don’t think that would be enough for Amy or everyone else to suddenly act like everything is alright, and Dizzy’s suicide attempt was water under the bridge. Beth’s role in what she did to their friend is unforgivable, and it felt like the weird plot at the end with Tori catfishing Amy and arranging for her to be assaulted was a last-ditch attempt to make Beth redeemable and tie up any loose ends.
That entire final plot just felt rushed and strange to me. It seemed like something the author was forced to put in there just to somehow force the story to work, and it just didn’t. Beth having an extremely short conclusion about remaining friends with Amy and working at a grocery store was random, and unfulfilling.
Not to mention the details of this final plot being absolutely outrageous, the idea of Tori trying to hurt Beth by harming Amy is a good idea and believable. However it struck me as extremely strange that Amy was lecturing Beth about online safety, and then absolutely refused to listen to any evidence from Beth about how she was being catfished.
It didn’t feel like the Amy we’ve grown to know in the story, and it felt very farfetched to think she spent so much time on online forums to develop a relationship with someone. Amy was a representation of Beth’s life of developing relationships offline, while only using social media as a means to post about everything she was doing.
Not only were her sudden internet habits strange, but it also seemed absolutely insane to read that she would blatantly ignore his pictures being fake and not care about his profile being relatively new. She put so much emphasis on Beth lying to her, but didn’t care about her online boyfriend lying about his photos and the clear catfish red flags? The ending of the book was a complete disappointment, which is a real shame considering how invested I was in this very polarizing story.
At the end of it all, Beth was the clear villain of this story. While she was a victim in many ways, she used her anger to become the abuser. Her role in playing a part of pushing Dizzy to a suicide attempt is unforgivable, I couldn’t imagine how the dynamics would return to normal after everyone knows the truth, especially when Dizzy came back into the picture. Yet there were no consequences in this very rushed and strange ending and very little meat in the resolution. Similar to how I feel when I’m burnt out writing a paper, and just throw whatever I can in the final paragraphs just to meet the requirements and word count, and provide nothing more.
Ultimately the book had many flaws, and while the protagonist felt more human compared to most books, the conflicting direction of the book ultimately ruined how I felt about this story. The author kept changing their mind about the characters as they wrote. The book wanted me to believe Amy and her roommates were good people while showing everything to make me believe otherwise. The only one I genuinely believed was a good person misunderstood was Patrick- who gives Beth the nickname “big bird”. That’s how low the book paints the other characters, while actively vouching for how they’re complex and sweet people, and yet we see none of it. We don’t see Dizzy’s anxiety, and we don’t see anything about Indigo being a nice person besides a few lines to Beth and a friend request.
I would have much rather the book focus more on how nobody deserves harassment, no matter how terrible of a person they are, and touching more on Beth’s internal issues about why she cares so much about comparing others to herself and yet refuses to do anything to help her own situation, mentally or physically. Beth’s true resolution should have been living with the consequences of her actions, and finally having to have a “fresh start” as she stated many times in the book being what she wanted. Beth being a good person shouldn't constitute whether she had Amy as a friend or not and remaining in her new comfort zone. A better conclusion to her story would show that she is willing to work on herself despite everything would show true character growth, acceptance of her actions and consequences, and work to truly be better for herself and find other outlets to deal with her self-esteem rather than attacking others online.
Instead, we had Beth spear a man wrestling style and everything turned out happily ever after.