Chup: Breaking the Silence About India's Women

by Deepa Narayan

Do you pride yourself on being a strong woman? Do you aspire to be one or support one? Do you consider yourself a feminist? Chances are that you behave in ways that are
exactly the opposite, as this pathbreaking book argues. In this rigorously researched book, based on 600 detailed interviews with women and some men across India's metros, social scientist Deepa Narayan identifies seven key habits that may dominate women's everyday lives, despite their education, success, financial status and family background. These behaviours may seem harmless, but each one has enormous impact, and it means only one thing - that Indian women are trained to habitually delete themselves. Shocking, troubling and revolutionary, Chup will hold a mirror to yourself - and you may not like what you see.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, India, Indian Literature, Womens, Politics, Gender

320 pages, Hardcover

Published March 8, 2018

Reviews

[Elsa Rajan Pradhananga · Rating 3 out of 5]

I remember getting into a heated debate with my female colleagues back in 2017 when the Parliament of Nepal passed a bill granding sons and daughters equal rights to paternal property. The women I spoke to felt it unjust that they inherit property from their family as well as their husband's. They overlooked the fact that co ownership of one's husband's property amounts to almost no authority over it and thus, offers no security. This attitude, a result of conditioning that girls are subjected to, nourishes our deep rooted cultural notion of what's right and wrong, and is what Deepa Narayan's Chup: Breaking The Silence About Indian Women addresses.

The author rightly points out that our culture teaches women not to exist. So the available options are to either kill girls or train them to conceal themselves with a burqa, purdha or other means of camouflage to blend into the crowd and not stand out or draw attention. On my last visit to India, I was shocked to see that most women were veiled in Jaipur, a city ony two and a half hours by road from Delhi, the nation capital. It put me off to think how one these women could be identified in a crowd or if her identity really even mattered.

Given my liberal upbringing in a household largely dominated by women, my first reaction to this book was that its content didn't apply to me or my times. I double checked the year of publication- 2006 and took time to reflect on the hundreds of anecdotes of the 13-63 year olds only to realize that I too am a victim of sexism. The author has outlined the experiences of women ranging from civil servants to house helps in various cities across India to assert the significance of breaking the silence.

Deepa Narayan notes that entrusting women with the responsibility of taking care of everyone is in a way conditioning her to ignore herself and serve to become a people pleaser. This curtails her ability to develop preferences and she naturally learns never to say what she feels, but what is expected of her. I couldn't help but correlate this to Margaret Atwood's The Blind Assassin where the tongue of the blind women of planet Zycron, would be cut off to stop them from rebelling, days before they were to be sacrificed to the gods. Cultural conditioning makes sure that education doesn't set a woman free or make her fearless. Her ability to earn or the right to property and alimony doesn't make her independent or vocal. It'll take a lot more to help women grasp that it is liberating to be explicit with emotions, opinions and demands.

After reading this book I realized that if I'm a silent witness to pregnant Nepali women being served the creamy layer of yoghurt so that she'll bear a son and not a daughter, I'm part of the problem. The sexism should be pointed out to women who seem to be ashamed to be women themselves and inturn are coercing another not to bring a female child into the society. The change should begin within each of us and we should be mindful of the gender bias within and around us. If speaking up can help us and our daughters find the space we deserve, it's high time we break the silence and create new cultural codes.

[Neha Garg (thereadingowl_) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an experience. When I read the very first chapter, I could not sleep for hours, debated with my husband, and finally posted a long rant about how Girls are made to stay invisible. They are smothered in the name of safety. They are diminished and forgotten.
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I took my own time to read through this book, finishing each chapter and then taking time to reflect and discuss with friends if they related to what was mentioned in the book. I personally related to not all, but most of it. If not me, if I am lucky enough to have parents and parents in law who support me at every step of the way, I could see the writing reflected in lives of my mother and other elder women relatives.
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It does get confusing at times. Lines to distinguish respect and fear are diminished and I was unsure of where to place myself on this division line. There are stories in there which make you furious enough to take action and stories which make you proud and believe in yourself.
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The best thing I liked about this book though, is that it brings issues of women empowerment from lower middle class to upper and upper middle class, to women who are working and yet live a dual life, to the next generation which is screaming to be let free.
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I recommend this read to each and every one of us irrespective of gender or age or profession.
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Thank you @juggernaut.in for a copy. I had an eye-opening time reading it 💖

[Pallabi Priyaadarshini · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I came across the book, somehow the instant internal reaction was another rant about how woman are treated with a list of guidelines and motivational pages filled with what women can do to break the shackles and emerge victorious.
Still I went ahead spent my hard earned money and bought it. As I kept flipping through pages many places I saw myself, my mother, friends, bosses, society so on and so forth.
Have you ever remotely or actively seen or faced or been a part or even felt there is this thing between your legs(I thought twice before writing this also) decides the freedom, mindset, likes and dislikes.
This book does make you understand one thing that women themselves have conclusively decided (men have contributed but women have left no stone unturned to make it a reality) that being a good woman means to be dutiful(at all and any cost), not saying NO (to maintain peace and harmony, like its the vaginas sole duty), not demanding what they need and feel like doing, being the only sensible one, the list is endless.

There have been times :I've kept quite when I wanted to fight back , I've really wanted to go out meet someone but I haven't or may be one of those days when I've wanted to sit back do nothing or wanted to drink more ( yes and i mean alcohol) or may be wanted to just do that ( I cannot utter "that" word)

I do not want to end this review by telling how my I love myself and all that, but i've come to do that finally (took hell lot of effort) . We all are conditioned in a certain way, and that is an excuse enough cited many a times to counter change. If you do not want to change anything about existing the way you are , don't, but then lets telling our daughters, friends, mothers the right thing, give them the confidence, build them up and probably start a small change.

[Swati · Rating 4 out of 5]

In her book Chup: Breaking the Silence About India’s Women (Juggernaut), author Deepa Narayan writes that she “did not set out to do research or write a book… It emerged from my determination not to be complacent after the rape of Jyoti Singh, Nirbhaya.”

Narayan, a trained social scientist, decided to address the gender question by interviewing several women and a few men across India and the world.

The results, at the end of 8000 pages of notes, were nothing less than surprising.

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Read my full review for this impactful book on eShe

[Siddhartha Golu · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a uniquely strange experience, when you try to put yourself into others' shoes. It feels fake, dishonest even, to say that you "understand" how the other person must be feeling. Empathy can be a strong force, but it can never be a substitute for the original feeling. A Caucasian man can never feel what an African-American man must be living with, day in and day out. Same thing between a Brahmin and a Dalit, and a man and a woman.

We're swimming so deep into the ocean of privilege that a mere acknowledgment of it stands out. Nowhere have I found it to be so stark when thinking about gender. I was having a conversation with my partner the other day about how traveling solo is a lovely experience and the serendipity and chance encounters make up for a unique experience. She said that if she travelled solo, every minute she would be worrying about her safety and the thought would overpower any other experiences that she'd be having. I would've never thought about my safety, she would've never thought about anything else.

All of this, just because I happened to be born a male.

I've tried to educate myself over the years, mostly by reading books and interacting with others. "Chup" takes the leading place in that body of work which tries to show and explain gender imbalance. I came across the book when Alice Evans brought it up during an episode on the podcast The Seen and The Unseen (I cannot recommend this episode enough!). It comprises of a series of interviews taken of women who are feminist in belief but not in behaviour. These women are not explicitly suppressed or subjugated by patriarchal dominance, however it lays bare how generations of cultural and societal reinforcements dominate one's thoughts.

The author, Deepa Narayan, holds no bar when discussing how society trains women to be non-existent. She writes:

Drawing on the details of the lives of women and men I interviewed, each over several hours, I found that girls are trained in seven cultural habits of non-existence. These are - deny the body; be quiet; please others; deny your sexuality; isolate yourself; have no individual identity; and be dependent. It is deep training in these habits that makes so many women feminists in belief but not in behaviour. Feminists with bad habits.

To summarize all the findings shared in the book would end up me just regurgitating the entire book. However, I'll try to highlight few points that stood out to me below:

How raising awareness about bias is not enough, that it can actually increase bias. "If everyone does it, why not me?" Only when the biases are labelled undesirable do they disappear.

No women used the word "ambitious" to describe herself, it is still a dirty word even for women who have taken a strong intellectual stance on equality.

When we asked women about their biggest fear, it is invariably about loss of family and safety of family members, it is hardly ever about the self. This too makes sense. Most women are searching for freedom within families, not freedom from families.

Men who argue are called leaders, while the language of war and weapons is frequently used when talking about women who argue.

In a land of 1.3 billion people, one can safely assume that sex is not a new discovery. Yet we still act like we found something novel.

The tendency to put a rug over or speak in a hush-hush voice about Menstruation. Think about it - it's a routine, monthly process through which half of the population goes through every month for at least 30-40 years of their lives! Yet, women still feel ashamed to say "I'm having my periods today", instead opting for more benign "I'm down today".

Men, on the other hand, have a lot of words for vaginas, none of which are used in polite company or denote respect. Most are used as swear words. This is true all over the world. Women whose mother tongue is Hindi or Punjabi are more comfortable saying the word vagina in English than the words in their native languages. It is safer saying the word in a foreign language than in the language of their own heavily shame/guilt/fear-laden native context of their childhood. This was true for women from the ages of 17 to over 65. Babies come out of the "susu wali jagah".

At a Filmfare award night event screened on television, every major female superstar from Deepika Padukone to the young Alia Bhatt bent her whole body forward, head towards the lap, and covered her mouth with her hands while laughing, so that her face was almost hidden. None of the male stars did so – they laughed heartily with their heads thrown back a little and mouths wide open.

The most institutionalized form of competition and meanness is evident in the saas–bahu soap dramas, a response to a structured system in which women derive their power from competing and fighting for control over the same powerful man, the son/husband.

The first time I took the Implicit Gender Bias test available online, I was stunned. I discovered that I was biased against women. I took the test several times, but the results did not change. This means of course that I am biased against myself. My cultural habits went deeper than my intellectual awareness, my work and my commitment to equality.

This book has helped me notice my own biases against women. It has transformed the way I look at gender relations, and perhaps an unintended consequence, made me more hopeless about the state of affairs. I've tried to circulate its copies to people close to me, not as a gesture of holier-than-thou "you should read this" frat boy attitude, but simply because I think this book deserves a wider audience.

PS: If you want to explore more on some related topics, here are a few jumping off points.
- Alice Evan's discussion with Amit Varma: https://seenunseen.in/episodes/2022/1...
- Mahima Vashisht's Raja beta syndrome: https://womaning.substack.com/p/the-r...
- Puliyabaazi: Women hold up more than half the sky: https://puliyabaazi.in/video/96-aadha...

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This is also available on my website here.

[Kartike Bhardwaj · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eye opening. It is deeply saddening and frightening to observe how subtly and minutely discrimination and bias are interwoven in the social and cultural fabric of India, and how easily it is overlooked almost everyday even by the self proclaimed feminists, intellectuals and modernists. The way the author has analysed and tore open this carefully and deliberately sewn fabric to reveal how this narrative is imbibed and internalised by men and women alike, often without their knowledge is what is most shocking to me as one of the above mentioned feminists. Mind boggling and eye opening, I am thankful for the author for probing into the heart of this suffering and explaining it in easy language. I request everyone to read and understand this book to not just be better educated in this matter, but also to hopefully become better men and women for the better half of our people.
A must read.

[Jyotsna · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Now it is very difficult for to go out. There is always fear. You know people are watching. You have to protect yourself and there is one with you. You don't feel relaxed outside; you feel relaxed only when you are at home. I can't just go freely no anywhere, even when my parents dont say come home early. Why was I born a girl? Why was I not born in place of my brother?'

Her brother, who is not restricted, does not fear going out, but she is fear-filled and stays home even when she has a 'real' choice. She is overcome with anxiety. She has been perfectly trained for dependence on men. She adds, 'What I want most from a future husband is protection.'

This triggering read which talks about how women have been suppressed for years in a patriarchal society is an eye opening read. To find women who have been beaten physically and emotionally is heartbreaking, but the way deal with it, this is a piece of observation.

The book doesn't provide solutions per say, but what it tries to do is get you the real picture from many interviews the author had conducted.

Interesting for sure and a must read for men and women alike.

[Prashanthi Kadambi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unsettling is what this book is. I picked it up after reading the summary. I thought to myself, I'm not one of the women the author is referring to. Nevertheless, it should be interesting to see what she has to say. But a couple of chapters into the book, I realised that I had several of the traits the author talks about. That's how powerful and deep cultural indoctrination is. We never even realise it, but we embody it and propagate it forward. This book is much like Harvard's famous implicit bias test. Reading it is like holding up a mirror, and suddenly seeing the truth staring you in the face. So much of society's messaging to women - duty, sacrifice, compromise - is centred around a silencing of women's identities and voices. Just plain erasure. And once you see this elaborate social charade from this perspective, you will never be able to unsee it. Recommended reading for everyone!

[Rosh ~catching up slowly~ · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book so much. I tried my best to. But sadly, I just couldn't. It just drags and drags after the first couple of chapters. I would have DNFed it were it not for the guilt factor to read it out of loyalty to my gender. The writing style is more like a feminist rant. I am agree with many of the points given in the book but not all. A more grounded approach and a different writing style (less of the bluster and more of pragmatic action points) would have made this book so much better and impactful. This is a case of good intention with bad execution.

[Prithvi Kumar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly a very important book that you should read, just to broaden your mindset.

It very accurately explains the plight of a lot of women in India, to the point where I could see elements of women I know in the anecdotes of this book.

Surprisingly, I as a man could relate to a few points put forth in this book, and the explanations behind those behaviors made sense when I looked at my past.

The book really pushes change and breaking the status quo by shattering everyone's mindset of what women can and should be. I think it is definitely important for one to, at the least, understand the author's perspective (and the perspectives of all the women interviewed)

I also appreciate that, despite a lot of (valid) negative commentary on men in this book, the author acknowledges that everyone is a product of their culture. I do agree with that. Change starts when both men and women are willing.

Haiku #66
"Shaadi ho gayi kya?"
"Aur kuch kaam toh hai nahi.
Let me live for me."

[Smitha Murthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t read many thrillers, but this work of nonfiction is haunting. It holds a mirror to everything I have done in life, and everything I have seen. This should be required reading in schools and colleges. It should be there in bookshops, in offices, in coffee shops. It should be there in our minds.

Nothing I can say will do justice to it.

Yes, the book has certain structural weaknesses in terms of reading flow. But it didn’t matter to me. The content is just thought-provoking.

[Saumya · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Tushar Mangl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Recently finished reading Deepa Narayan's book on women in India and the way society is sculpting their identity. The book is an intriguing read and does live up to its slogan to hold a mirror to every Indian woman.
So is this a feminist read meant for those all-women book club list readings? Definitely not. Such books are meant to be read by the entire society irrespective of gender or age.

However, "Chup" has its limitations. One significant oversight is its lack of discussion on the misuse of laws designed to protect women. The rise of false accusations, particularly in cases of rape and dowry, is a serious issue that impacts many men. These false claims can devastate careers, reputations, and lives, highlighting a dark side to the progress made in women's rights. While Narayan’s focus is on the systemic silencing of women, a more balanced examination of the complexities surrounding gender dynamics would have enriched the discourse.

You can read the complete review at my blog

[Sakshi Singh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can probably say that I am not the same person I was after reading this, and for the better. A book this profound, this self-reflective, thought-provoking, and so well researched is definitely a must read for everyone. The book is meant to establish solidarity and it's not just about women as the same cultural conditioning that chokes women also suffocate men with ultra-masculine codes of conduct.

At the start, as I began reading, I found myself denying the reasons written in the book. But later, after some reflection, I came to realize how legitimate everything written there is. I recognized how deeply my brain has been conditioned to resist any new information.

I've read quite a few books on women and feminism, but this one takes the cake for changing me the most, especially because it focuses on the plight of Indian women, particularly the middle and upper-class women. While reading such books, I often found myself feeling a sense of privilege, recognizing that the struggles portrayed were often more severe for those in lower socio-economic strata. However, this book resonated with my own experiences and conversations in a way that felt profoundly authentic. I even felt disappointed with the omnipresence of experiences shared but also empowered. I saw myself and all the women I know in the women interviewed.

My final take from this book is realizing that while I may not have the power to revolutionize the world or accomplish something on a grand scale, but shifting my beliefs and acknowledging the patterns that I now understand to be imposed by others rather than being truly reflective of myself, and then choosing to reject them, will not only transform me but also likely have an impact on those close to me.

[anusha_reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a well researched book on how Indian women are raised to be a quiet, non existing human being. The author qoutes various examples from real life, talking about what happens when girls have been raised to be quiet and have been asked to adjust to just about anything. It not only impacts them psychologically but makes them nonexistent. A lady who adjusts to her abusive husband and tolerates every harm inflicted upon her is rendered inanimate, like a piece of furniture.
The way to change this is to raise our children giving them equal opportunities, be it knowledge, sports or voicing their opinions. It's the duty of both the parents to consciously imbibe these values so that girls are as outspoken as boys.
The book talks about jealousy among women. I feel jealously is a trait present in Men and in women. It just gets reflected in different ways.
I strongly feel:
🌞 Girls in India should be brought up not to be CHUP (QUIET).
🌞Parents need to have open dialogues with their children at every level. They should be friends after a certain point, so that they are able to discuss any matter openly with each other.
🌞 Women must be part of a group, meeting at least once in a month, to vent out their woes, hence releasing their happy hormones.
🌞 When a couple works, it's the duty of both the partners to do the house chores. It is not just the wife's duty!
🌞Women must have the courage of conviction to say NO

It's easier said than done when there are things built into the system so rigidly, it takes time and patience to bring about a change in the whole country.

[Natasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deepa Narayan's seminal work, Breaking Out of Poverty guided much of my thought and work for over a decade, so it was with a mix of anticipation and apprehension that I approached this. The book didn't disappoint. Though at times, it seemed like over simplication, knowing it is based on over 600 detailed interviews made it seem almost horrific.

[Arfa Usmani]

"Women smile to please. Men smile when they are pleased."

A wonderful take on why education and employment can only do so much in dismantling the systemic cultural subjugation of women.

[Bharathi Arunan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This should be a part of the Indian school curriculum. Period.

We consume a lot of western news, western views about what it is to be a woman, and feminism and its effects. Deepa Narayan has done much-needed work and shown a light on the state in India.
She digs deep and states facts that are staring at our faces, which we sometimes cannot see or choose to ignore. It is the blatant, painful truth.

Narayan, through 600 interviews with upper and middle-class women, has gotten down to some of the root causes of the plight of women in our country. The book covers fear, lack of confidence, denial of sexuality, rape culture, and much more.

The scary part is that this is only half of it, with the stories of the uneducated and improvished women still begging to be told.

In her own words:

"This book is about the power of everyday culture over the intellect. It is about the all-pervasive cultural indoctrination that starts in childhood and prepares women to be deleted"

"When hundreds and thousands of women are constantly afraid and apologetic, it is no longer personal, it is systemic"

"It was Indian and spiritually superior to be detached"

"Trained to be afraid of their bodies, women too become perpetrators of a war against women, a war against each other"

"Men systemically overestimate their abilities and women underestimate theirs.."

"Having a self becomes confused with being selfish"

[Pragnya Mishra · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not for everyone, weak-hearted.

For centuries women are trained to act, think, respond in a particular fashion - mutely. Irrespective of education, job, status, or economic condition.

In this intensely researched book, author and social scientist Deepa Narayan identifies seven key habits that may dominate the lives of women - Deny your body, Be Quiet, Please Others, Deny Sexuality, Isolate yourself, Have no individual identity and Be Dependent.

The book might fill many women with rage, it would remind them of the encounters they were forced to remain quiet. The encounters that left many scarred but still bound to swallow the toxic pill.

A must-read for both genders and as a parent to be mindful while raising a girl who can embrace herself, speak her thoughts. And if raising a boy to give them a foundation to listening ears and understand consent.

Though I do not cent percent agree with the author yet I feel this is a powerful book and right start towards the battle of existence.

[Pooja · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that makes you uncomfortable and question where many of your beliefs come from and the bubble you live in. A thought provoking book that paints a very realistic picture of women in India.

[Piyusha Vir · Rating 5 out of 5]

An insightful and well-researched book on the traditional practices and customs that led to a systemic silencing of women's voices. Must read to understand what society and parents did wrong and how we can now correct it to make women fearless and confident individuals.

[Vikas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one book which I picked in the book store and bought it right then and there. And this book shows the proof for and asks some very interesting and difficult questions. And makes you think too. It's amazing to read that despite all the hoopla about education and women empowerment still, then things haven't changed too much and I know and understand that despite believing down from my heart that things should be better I still have my own biases too. And like the author says we all have to work together to ensure that we try to forget our biases and work towards a better society where both women and men work together to ensure that things are better for all. After all, a woman is so much more than a daughter, sister, wife, girlfriend or mother.

People who don't read generally ask me my reasons for reading. Simply put I just love reading and so to that end I have made it my motto to just Keep on Reading. I love to read everything except for Self Help books but even those once in a while. I read almost all the genre but YA, Fantasy, Biographies are the most. My favorite series is, of course, Harry Potter but then there are many more books that I just adore. I have bookcases filled with books which are waiting to be read so can't stay and spend more time in this review, so remember I loved reading this and love reading more, you should also read what you love and then just Keep on Reading.

[Harshita Tiwari · Rating 4 out of 5]

It definitely brings up a lot of great points about culture and how women are indoctrinated to pit against eachother, stay alone and sacrifice themselves. However it's still a long long fight. Despite the revolution ,there are newer problems in India now which includes women having completely wrong idea of what feminism means and taking advantage of them being women. People from my country will know what I am talking about. This in turn make other women, and men, hate feminism in general as they believe this is what feminists want. I really don't know how cultural changed for more than a billion people will happen. I try to do my part and stay hopeful.

[Vinod Narayan · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Video Review is here
https://youtu.be/h8wLuxJmwTA

[Kamakshi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book. Haven’t read a well researched book about Indian society and how women fit into the same. Could have been a bit short on some sections. But a great read nonetheless. 🌟🌟🌟🌟

[Thushara Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent read for both men and women, especially of Indian origin. You will be forced to look at your world differently after you read this book.

This book gave me the answers to questions I've always carried within me - why women behave a certain way even when they intellectually know that there is another way to be.

[Radha Taori]

"Our culture bestows power on men and morality on women".

"Character assassination is the first tool used to silence women who dare to step out and challenge"

This book has all my heart.😍😍. Not even exaggerating. It's not just a book, it's the voice and the emotions of the women.
I dont know why I chose this book in the first place, maybe because of the title that appealed to me..

🍁 'Chup', silencing that is all what the girls are experiencing at every stage. May it be a small house party or some political issues.
Through this book I've realised if not in big things, discrimination towards girls are acted upon in small acts too, from a very tender age and that adds up to what she eventually becomes.

🍁 The second most common thing that was lingering in my mind was the powerful truth that every woman is jealous of each other. We often blame men but until and unless women do not support each other, help each other to grow and make space for themselves in this world, there won't be any sense of equality and discrimination cannot be ever eradicated.

🍁 The biggest misunderstanding about power is that if women become powerful, men becomes powerless. This is just not true. Power is not a zero-sum game. It expands.

🍁 The book quotes daily life instances and its impacts which leaves you in a deep thinking state. The author has conversed with a lot of women and girls to prove her facts. She has quoted real life occasions of girls of different castes, regions and occupations.

🍁 It is a must read for all the people out there, especially the youth who can understand the essence of this book and ensure that the same does not continue.

[Swapna Peri ( Book Reviews Cafe ) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review Tagline:
A compelling and empathetic analysis

Introduction:
"Chup" is a very informative book that investigates the realities of women in India, focusing on extensive interviews with over 600 women from various socioeconomic origins across the nation. The title, "Chup," which means "quiet" or "silent" in Hindi, is a forceful comment about the cultural obligations placed on women in India to be silent about their experiences. Narayan's book tries to break the taboo and put light on the entrenched patriarchy and gender inequality in Indian society that affect women's lives.

My Thoughts:
Women in Indian society are systemically disadvantaged in various ways, from a lack of access to education and career prospects to the frequency of domestic abuse and sexual harassment. We see countless examples of how these systemic difficulties influence women's life, frequently depriving them of fundamental human rights and freedoms. Women from various origins, such as caste, religion, and area, confront unique obstacles and are affected differently by gender inequality. Apart from that, the unique issues that women from marginalised communities experience, such as chronic discrimination against Dalit women and the obstacles encountered by Muslim women in post-9/11 India, are inexplicable, and the majority of incidents go unreported.

In this book, Narayan provides numerous examples of how these systemic issues affect women's lives, often denying them fundamental human rights and freedoms. She also emphasises the need for a more inclusive and intersectional approach to addressing gender inequality in India. According to Narayan, cultural norms and ideas impact people's attitudes towards women, resulting in marginalisation and discrimination. She gives various examples of how cultural norms and beliefs affect women's life, such as the desire for boys over daughters, which frequently leads to female infanticide and the neglect of girl offspring.

While Narayan criticises the cultural systems that promote gender inequity, she also acknowledges the role of women in sustaining these conventions. She emphasises women's difficulties in breaking away from these conventions and the necessity of women's agency in effecting change. Narayan emphasises the need of women breaking the silence, speaking up about their experiences, and supporting one another in their challenges.

Narration:
The narration is engaging, making the work suitable for a broad spectrum of readers. It also allows the reader to identify with the ladies whose tales the author tells throughout the book. The illustrations of Narayan's arguments with quotes and stories from her interviews with over 600 women, bringing to life the lives of women from all origins and places in India, make the book a must-read.

Writing Style:
Deepa Narayan's writing style in "Chup: Breaking the Silence About India's Women" is straightforward, simple, and approachable. Narayan's language is devoid of jargon, making it accessible to a wide spectrum of readers. She organises and logically delivers her views, allowing readers to follow her reasoning. Narayan's writing is also compassionate and captivating. The book cover features a striking image of a woman with no face conveying the message of being faceless and mute in society and the factors that lead to it. The font used for the title and author's name is clear and bold, making it easy to read and visually appealing.

Language & Vocabulary:
"Chup: Breaking the Silence About India's Women" by Deepa Narayan is written in simple English. Narayan's use of simple yet powerful words helps her explain complicated topics clearly. The book's vocabulary is adequate for its target audience and effectively conveys the author's thoughts and arguments.

Who can read?
"Chup: Breaking the Silence About India's Women" is a must-read for anybody interested in understanding the realities of women in India and the issues they confront daily. The book paints a comprehensive and complicated picture of women's difficulties in India, delving into the structural and institutional causes that perpetuate gender inequity and the cultural norms and beliefs that determine people's views towards women. It is a passionate call to action for Indian society to recognise and solve systemic gender inequity and for women to break the silence and speak up about their experiences. Scholars, activists, policymakers, and anybody interested in gender justice and equality may find the book particularly useful.

[Nidhi Juyal · Rating 4 out of 5]

“A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman. But the search to find that voice can be remarkably difficult.” —Melinda Gates, philanthropist

 A voice that has been conditioned to keep quiet, is the story of women in India. “Chup” the Hindi word for SILENCE / QUIET is a hard hitting book on the lives of Indian Women irrespective of caste, creed, location, education, socio economic status, etc.

About two years back this book was distributed at a women’s event. It had a cover page that makes you question your existence, is extensively pessimistic, depressive, despairing and kept me away from reading it.  A New Year resolution to buy new literature only after the treasure at home is read made CHUP my first read of 2022.

I removed the cover page as I couldn’t look through the blank, expression less face every time I picked it up and then started my introspective journey into being a woman.

This book talks about an Indian Women’s identity, and how our culture, tradition has been trained to make this identity invisible.

The invisible presence is created not by something very serious and big but by the simple routine habits we have adopted, without questioning or thinking how female mind will process it. The invisible presence is created not by men alone, but also by the women who are mothers, sisters, aunts and other women around. There is a feeling that we have moved ahead on the path of gender equality or feminism, but subconsciously we harbor the remains of the teachings and tradition we have gone through and they remain.

Real men and women are interviewed, they talk about a women’s journey that begins with birth, at home, in school and college, the first job and at husband’s home. A journey that has main actors as fathers, brothers, uncles, husbands and junior actors as mothers, sisters and aunts. When the narratives mention incidents, it is felt that we have experienced this either personally or seen someone go through it, at some point in our lives, it’s like a mirror to every woman. These unintentional actions, without realization have affected the perceptions of a female mind and created havoc in the lives of women.

There is a deep hesitation in talking about our body or our mind. We are made to believe that it is a shame to talk about your body. Women don’t have bodies, as no one talks about them. Explaining a disease or abnormality with a body part becomes difficult while communicating to a doctor too. Many a time’s girls are unaware of the correct vocabulary for the private body parts as they are never mentioned.

Talk softly, be quiet, don’t laugh loudly, when adults are talking don’t barge in, your suggestion is not important, be polite and nice, control your anger…..all this is heard by every women in their growing up years and if you follow , it makes you the good girl. Good girls have seen their mothers follow the father even if they think differently and they adopt. The working moms who are confident, strong, diligent, empowered to the outside world have a completely different behavior at home. The girls follow suit, as actions teach us stronger than words.

Suppression of feelings, isolation and confusion is the result. There is a fear in reaching out, negotiating, arguing, confronting. Women in powerful positions also feel this at work place and at home. Every action taken, every feeling expressed is weighed based on whether it will please or stress others. It is never about YOU!! It will be difficult to find a woman who accepts to living a life a hundred percent, on her wishes and not pleasing others.

This book touches the hidden, dark, untouched world of women that is real, however, I believe much has changed and things are not as grim. Families are more supportive, there are more safe spaces for women to communicate without the fear of being judged. But we still have a huge scope for improvement. This book serves as a reminder to all men and women alike and makes them aware of the actions, behaviors that require change, so that the next generation learns equality and fairness. It’s the pace of change that we need to work on. The culture code needs a fast paced change.

And in Deepa Narayan’s words-

“We are the culture. We create the code. We can create new cultural codes. New compassionate moral codes for women and for men. So we can flourish together”.

Go grab a copy, a must read for all men and women. We might be feminist or believers of gender equality but there is something wrong we are doing. This will help us understand the women better.

INTROSPECTIVE READING !!!

[Priyanka · Rating 5 out of 5]

I happened to hear about Deepa's research through the podcast 'Women in Labour' and boy am I thankful I found this one at the time I did! The insights she uncovers answer so many questions I have been sitting with since I graduated from college. Through Deepa's research, hundreds of men and women narrate their stories over three years to help take apart the desi upper middle class notion of having found equality /balance / modernity.

Seven simple habits socialized into desi women brains: you don't have a body, no voice (chup), people pleasing, no sexuality, don't trust women, duty over desire and total dependence. Seven simple habits that undo women.

I can't remember exactly when but at some point as I was growing up, I started seeing education as the solution for all the problems I saw around me (in Pakistan). In my mind, this was especially for any problems pertaining to women (the true bichaaris of any solid desi girl narrative)! If only we could get our hands on more pieces of paper handed out by prestigious institutions our generation wouldn't see as many women who constantly /needlessly obsessed over their relationship status, stayed in abusive marriages. as many women with low self esteem, as many women who hated other women etc.

That narrative built up as I rushed to get my hands on degree after degree until my late twenties when I was eventually jolted out of this belief by my similarly (or even better) educated desi female friends saying and doing exactly the kind of things our mothers (and their peers) were saying and doing. For several years, I kept telling myself that these friends were the outliers. The ones who had 'caved' or had found themselves in particularly difficult situations or women who just got unlucky despite their best efforts to break free. I also blamed the men in their lives (mostly the fathers) who I {quite naively} assumed were making these decisions for the daughters.

It took several years of witnessing friends (long time friends, the ones I saw as being just as liberal, intelligent and woke as I like to think I am) make regressive decisions for the sake of family, love, duty, honor and even fate to help me understand that education is not a one-stop solution and that women themselves are a significant part of the problem. Our own habits and beliefs hold us back before anyone else gets involved. And even God apparently only helps those who help themselves.

I have heard several women in my life (friends and family) sit across from me and list down the reasons they think they ended up in the situation they did: lack of resources, lack of intelligence, lack of support blah blah blah. Each story eventually finds an external villain and all these women endlessly wonder why they feel so miserable while XYZ lives their dream life. I have had the unfortunate please of seeing the levels of fear, resentment, jealousy and insecurity rise as we look for someone to blame for our predicaments. It took years of listening, trying and failing to finally understand that the problem lies within. The issue is the mindset of women like me: young, educated, seemingly modern, liberal women living 'remarkable' lives in developing and developed countries. Women whose circumstances on the surface have changed but in our minds we are still living through the traumas we inherited from previous generations who raised us. This book captures this concept brilliantly and repeatedly until there is no denying it.

None of this is to say that external factors do not add to our list of woes. I would have to be exceptionally stupid to make that claim but for the first time in a very long term, a book made me stand up and admit that I am part of the problem and it will take practice to work my way out of that!

Highly recommend to all desi humans! Please read it even if you believe you're the most woke person alive today. Expect a bit of sleeplessness and at least one heated debate with family/friends as you read this one.