Together on Purpose for Purpose

by Derrick Parker, Janice Parker

When you enter a marriage, the expectation is that it will last forever. However, somewhere along your journey of bliss, things begin to change and “forever” seems unrealistic. We quickly forget that the time we invested in getting to know our spouse while dating, is still necessary after we say, “I do.” Our communication skills may become dull or somehow lost all together. When dating, we made time to openly communicate our needs and expectations for each other. Now that we’re married, we easily ignore an opportunity to communicate our expectations, and even worst, may begin to act on those expectations not being met. Way too often, when offense and conflict arise in our marriages, we quickly identify our mates as the enemy, which they are not. If we identify who the real enemy is, we can effectively fight the battles in our marriage and have the victory in every situation. Our real enemies are the powers of darkness and our own flesh. Because we are quick to operate out of the flesh, the true enemy goes unnoticed in the heat of the battles. The minor things that we could easily forgive while we were dating, we somehow can’t find that same forgiveness now that we’re married. We allow that unforgiveness to take root and we can become bitter. This bitterness is spewed out a little bit each day; sometimes we’re not even aware of it and before you know it, it has destroyed the marriage. True forgiveness transpires when we can treat our mates as if nothing ever happened, but this is easier said than done…trust us, we know! And of course, there’s the many other challenges of marriage like finances, co-parenting, blended families, addictions, coping with grief, illness, lack of trust, and then some.
The saddest part of it all is that most couples suffer in silence. Because you were taught like we were to not share your family business, we sometimes remained silent about our marital challenges. Suffering in silence is one of the major reasons why marriages fail. Because of embarrassment and guilt, we feel we can’t share with close friends and family to seek out the help and resources we need to make our marriages stronger and to heal. The one place that we as believers feel should be the safest place to share our hurt, is one of the last places that we will, and that’s at the church. This should certainly be the safest place to confess your faults (James 5:16). Marriage is not the invention of man, and if you believe God instituted marriage, then why wouldn’t we seek Him for all of our guidance? Marriage isn’t a relationship in which we get to pursue our personal agendas, but rather, it’s a relationship meant to glorify God and show the world His goodness. God uses Marriage Ministry as a resource for you to get the help you need. If you don’t already participate in a marriage ministry within your church, start attending. If your church doesn’t have one, then see if you can help create one. If your marriage ministry isn’t touching the topics that affect your marriage, speak up, and make it known. The Marriage Ministry exists to ensure that premarital, married couples, and families are equipped with a strong biblical foundation, so that they may strengthen their relationships with Christ and each other. The more we celebrate, talk about and share our stories, the greater our relationships will be, and God will be glorified. It is our belief that strong marriages create strong families, and strong families create strong communities.

123 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 1, 2018

Reviews

[Janice Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book! Readers state it's a very easy read and once you get started you can't put it down. It's a story of hope, inspiration and encouragement for married, engaged, separated and those who are divorced.