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Fucking History: 52 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School.
If you disliked learning about history in school, it's because you didn't have a teacher like this. Intelligent, brutally honest, and crude — learning about history doesn't suck when you're learning from The Captain. Each of his 52 lessons bridges the gap between history and everyday life with relatable topics and an outlook that can only be described as "slightly f'd up."
110 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 25, 2018
339 people are currently reading
1163 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 91 reviews
April 24, 2023
I couldn't think of one reason to NOT give this 5 stars. It was hilarious, well-researched, succinct, and interesting. The chapters were short and sweet in order to give you the historical facts with humorous commentary without getting long-winded or losing your attention. I learned so much from this book.
April 16, 2018
Hilarious
How did he find these things out and why aren't I married to him they're the two prevalent thoughts I had whilst reading. Absolutely hilarious thank you the captain im a huge fan x
How did he find these things out and why aren't I married to him they're the two prevalent thoughts I had whilst reading. Absolutely hilarious thank you the captain im a huge fan x
May 14, 2023
I wish this book focused more on the actual history stories and not the author’s random thoughts. The bro-y, 2000’s-era CollegeHumor writing style wasn’t for me.
May 27, 2020
First Review, and what a time to write one.
Read this book, if
- You haven't had time, or haven't been able to summon enough focus to read anything for a long while, and intend to get back to your former capacity
- You're looking for a casual read, peppered in with cheesy humour and one-liners
- You cannot stop associating events that occur in real life with historical occurrences
- You have about an hour or two available in your busy schedule to relax, and forget about everything else that needs to be taken care of
PS. This isn't an extensive history book by any measure, so aggressive history devourers are better off not reading it.
Come for the stalling, stay for the humour!
Read this book, if
- You haven't had time, or haven't been able to summon enough focus to read anything for a long while, and intend to get back to your former capacity
- You're looking for a casual read, peppered in with cheesy humour and one-liners
- You cannot stop associating events that occur in real life with historical occurrences
- You have about an hour or two available in your busy schedule to relax, and forget about everything else that needs to be taken care of
PS. This isn't an extensive history book by any measure, so aggressive history devourers are better off not reading it.
Come for the stalling, stay for the humour!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 30, 2020
Well this was fucking hilarious. A sort of random sampling of interesting historical vignettes couched in exactly the sort of language you WISH your history teacher had used. It sort of skirts sexism, but never like fully dives in, and it's overtly anti-bigot so I enjoyed this. Would definitely read again aloud with friends.
December 18, 2022
This book took me by surprise. I literally picked it based on the title and nothing else. Was it going to be the history of f*cking? Was this just a fun title for a history book? Well, it turned out to be a little of both haha. There are many fascinating sexual stories like about women using overbaked bread as sex toys or Catherine the Great having men audition to have sex with her. But much more than that it was the stories of women who no one talks about! I really thought women didn’t contribute much to history because they were weaker or home with kids or something… but women have done so many amazing things and it’s just not taught in school! We don’t talk about it so each generation grows up thinking women are truly inferior to men but they’re not!!
Thank you so much for the gifted copy, Tarcher Perigree!
Thank you so much for the gifted copy, Tarcher Perigree!
December 27, 2019
What did I think? I think it's sad the author could not write an otherwise good book without using profanity and referencing sex in every story. I'm not a prude - just got very tired of the same use of non-descriptive, uneducated, crude use of words. Interesting but not funny.
August 17, 2024
The history nerd in me couldn't put this down, hilarious and highly informative!
September 3, 2018
Hilarious, intriguing, badass. Definitely a must read.
November 19, 2017
If you haven’t read this book, what are you even doing with your life? To say this collection of unpredictable short history lessons are entertaining is a vast understatement. The Captain perfectly pieces together the pop culture of today with unique history essays laced with wit, sarcastic humor, and cursing that is both relatable and savagely honest. The incredibly smart, crude brain behind the pages will leave you dying with laughter while your mind is blown by how seriously weird humans were… are. Not to mention, the infamous Ashley appearances only adds to the perfection of this book, and also slightly reminds me of the recurring O’doyle family plaguing Adam Sandler movies.
Do yourself a favor and order this book NOW! Whether you’re a history buff or are completely turned off by the past, you will enjoy every word of each raw yet refined take on the days of old with a modern twist. So, pour yourself a glass of the poison of your choice, crack the pages of this book, and learn some Fucking History.
P.S.
While you wait for your order to arrive, go follow The Captain on Instagram and Twitter. You can thank me later.
Do yourself a favor and order this book NOW! Whether you’re a history buff or are completely turned off by the past, you will enjoy every word of each raw yet refined take on the days of old with a modern twist. So, pour yourself a glass of the poison of your choice, crack the pages of this book, and learn some Fucking History.
P.S.
While you wait for your order to arrive, go follow The Captain on Instagram and Twitter. You can thank me later.
August 3, 2024
This book put me to sleep every time I opened it. His writing is funny and I like the idea behind it, but reading a story that was not some sort of continuation had me very uninterested. I just didn't care to read a new mini story every page and found myself less engaged.
July 24, 2019
An entertaining, easy read of a few historical anecdotes if you can look past his toxic masculinity & hatred of cat people.
January 27, 2022
Personally, I didn't enjoy reading this book.
December 16, 2019
Not Your Average History Lesson
In my opinion, history has always been the most dry and unamusing class to have to sit through for 42 minutes every single day of the school year. When my friend chose this book for our book club group, I wasn’t too anxious to start reading it. Little did I know, this was not your average history book. This book hilariously teaches readers history lessons all the way from ancient Egypt, 19th century France, the Persian Empire in 526 B.C., and everywhere in between.
The Captain uses humor and pop culture references to keep the reader engaged. It’s an easy read that will have you rapidly turning pages until the very end. Keep in mind, that’s coming from someone who normally has no interest in history.
The author perfectly compares and contrasts history with life today, making his lessons relatable. The history in this book covers topics you probably have never even heard of. I was expecting the Civil War and the Declaration of Independence, but the history he writes about is all pretty random and I would guess most people would never know the facts he spits out if it weren’t for his book. Some of the topics are so out there that after finishing a section I was left asking “Really?!” Nonetheless, it definitely kept me engaged.
However, this book is definitely not for everyone. Evident from the title, the author does not hold back on what he has to say. This book contains a lot of explicit language and other information some people might find offensive. Basically if you are someone who hates seeing the F word everywhere, maybe don’t read this book. Judging by the humor, I think this book was definitely written for young adults. I would only recommend this book for those who are in high school or older. If you are part of that age range, definitely give it a read!
In my opinion, history has always been the most dry and unamusing class to have to sit through for 42 minutes every single day of the school year. When my friend chose this book for our book club group, I wasn’t too anxious to start reading it. Little did I know, this was not your average history book. This book hilariously teaches readers history lessons all the way from ancient Egypt, 19th century France, the Persian Empire in 526 B.C., and everywhere in between.
The Captain uses humor and pop culture references to keep the reader engaged. It’s an easy read that will have you rapidly turning pages until the very end. Keep in mind, that’s coming from someone who normally has no interest in history.
The author perfectly compares and contrasts history with life today, making his lessons relatable. The history in this book covers topics you probably have never even heard of. I was expecting the Civil War and the Declaration of Independence, but the history he writes about is all pretty random and I would guess most people would never know the facts he spits out if it weren’t for his book. Some of the topics are so out there that after finishing a section I was left asking “Really?!” Nonetheless, it definitely kept me engaged.
However, this book is definitely not for everyone. Evident from the title, the author does not hold back on what he has to say. This book contains a lot of explicit language and other information some people might find offensive. Basically if you are someone who hates seeing the F word everywhere, maybe don’t read this book. Judging by the humor, I think this book was definitely written for young adults. I would only recommend this book for those who are in high school or older. If you are part of that age range, definitely give it a read!
April 11, 2020
I'm not a history buff, but this little book piqued my interest b/c I enjoy reading humorous books of all kinds. After reading it, I think I would have enjoyed it more had I been a history buff (which I'm not).
PROS:
1) The author (known only as "The Captain") gives a humorous spin on 52 random historical events. The author's perspective on each event is interesting and fun to read. Overall, I enjoyed the author's voice. However, the book is NOT what I'd call "laugh out loud funny" or hilarious.
2) It's a short book (some people prefer that over a verbose book - I certainly do).
CONS:
1) As far as I could tell, the historical events covered in this book don't seem to have a common thread or relation to one another (other than the fact that all happened in the past and many of them involved a strong woman who did something unusual or interesting). It reads like a stream of consciousness and without any rhyme or reason. I didn't like for that.
2) Each "lesson" (chapter) is only 2 pages long, and I found that seeing this familiar pattern and style of writing made the chapters feel redundant/boring after a while. For that reason, I think this book is best read in short spurts (might be good reading material for bathroom visits!).
MY RECOMMENDATION:
I would recommend this book primarily to people who enjoy reading amusing stories about historical events. If you are NOT a history buff, then I recommending skipping this book and read something else (there are plenty of funnier books available about other topics).
PROS:
1) The author (known only as "The Captain") gives a humorous spin on 52 random historical events. The author's perspective on each event is interesting and fun to read. Overall, I enjoyed the author's voice. However, the book is NOT what I'd call "laugh out loud funny" or hilarious.
2) It's a short book (some people prefer that over a verbose book - I certainly do).
CONS:
1) As far as I could tell, the historical events covered in this book don't seem to have a common thread or relation to one another (other than the fact that all happened in the past and many of them involved a strong woman who did something unusual or interesting). It reads like a stream of consciousness and without any rhyme or reason. I didn't like for that.
2) Each "lesson" (chapter) is only 2 pages long, and I found that seeing this familiar pattern and style of writing made the chapters feel redundant/boring after a while. For that reason, I think this book is best read in short spurts (might be good reading material for bathroom visits!).
MY RECOMMENDATION:
I would recommend this book primarily to people who enjoy reading amusing stories about historical events. If you are NOT a history buff, then I recommending skipping this book and read something else (there are plenty of funnier books available about other topics).
December 18, 2019
The idea of tackling a nonfiction book made a dreadful feeling spark within me. Until I found a history book. Now, you may be thinking, are you serious? A history book was the shimmering light of hope? Yes. This is not any history book. It is an unconventional journey filled with life lessons, guided by The Captain.
The Captain formats this book in an easy-to-read manner. He opens each page with a clever title, followed by a relatable topic that pertains to millennials today. He then uses a historical example and ties it up with a bow at the end, which drives his point. Small hand drawn pictures typically act as a visual representation, and add character to the book itself.
This book contains historical stories that are comical enough to use as conversation starters, and display the oddities of humans and society. The examples from Egyptian times are most interesting to me, purely due to the logic they used to solve problems.
If you are looking for a straightforward type of self-help book, give this one a try. Although, be warned, there are some explicit words and mature topics discussed. His approach to history is unconventional, and he uses colorful language generously. Despite it being seen as a bit inappropriate, it is a book that can be read in one sitting and will most definitely induce laughter.
Let The Captain bring you on a journey and teach you 52 meaningful lessons that you did not learn in school.
The Captain formats this book in an easy-to-read manner. He opens each page with a clever title, followed by a relatable topic that pertains to millennials today. He then uses a historical example and ties it up with a bow at the end, which drives his point. Small hand drawn pictures typically act as a visual representation, and add character to the book itself.
This book contains historical stories that are comical enough to use as conversation starters, and display the oddities of humans and society. The examples from Egyptian times are most interesting to me, purely due to the logic they used to solve problems.
If you are looking for a straightforward type of self-help book, give this one a try. Although, be warned, there are some explicit words and mature topics discussed. His approach to history is unconventional, and he uses colorful language generously. Despite it being seen as a bit inappropriate, it is a book that can be read in one sitting and will most definitely induce laughter.
Let The Captain bring you on a journey and teach you 52 meaningful lessons that you did not learn in school.
December 21, 2019
Clair Marion
Ms Tarr
AP English
20 December 2019
Stop and Read This Informational Review!
Recently I have read the book, “Fucking History” by The Captain. To begin, the title may drag you away from reading this, but don’t let it! This nonfiction piece is informational and very relatable. The Captain does an amazing job of teaching 52 history lessons by making each one relatable in one way or another.
I tend to not be a fan of nonfiction but this book changed my mind! The Captain uses an array of techniques to teach a lesson and in doing so, he keeps the reader fully engaged. This book was an easy read but factual at the same time.
One thing I did not like very much about the book was that in some lessons he goes too far with his explanation and the terms he uses can get quite vulgar. Therefore, I would only recommend this book to people around the age of highschool/college. If someone younger or older reads this, they might become very discouraged by the specific language used by the author. The Captain also relates a lot of the lessons to relationships which typically revolve around highschool/ college-aged people.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece of nonfiction and would love to look at some of the other books written by this author. So, if your searching around for a funny yet informational nonfiction book, this is the one for you! Give it a read!
Ms Tarr
AP English
20 December 2019
Stop and Read This Informational Review!
Recently I have read the book, “Fucking History” by The Captain. To begin, the title may drag you away from reading this, but don’t let it! This nonfiction piece is informational and very relatable. The Captain does an amazing job of teaching 52 history lessons by making each one relatable in one way or another.
I tend to not be a fan of nonfiction but this book changed my mind! The Captain uses an array of techniques to teach a lesson and in doing so, he keeps the reader fully engaged. This book was an easy read but factual at the same time.
One thing I did not like very much about the book was that in some lessons he goes too far with his explanation and the terms he uses can get quite vulgar. Therefore, I would only recommend this book to people around the age of highschool/college. If someone younger or older reads this, they might become very discouraged by the specific language used by the author. The Captain also relates a lot of the lessons to relationships which typically revolve around highschool/ college-aged people.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece of nonfiction and would love to look at some of the other books written by this author. So, if your searching around for a funny yet informational nonfiction book, this is the one for you! Give it a read!
December 22, 2019
When it comes to nonfiction, I am a huge fan. I could only read it for the rest of my life and be completely satisfied. When I came across F@#$ing History by The Captain, I was immediately drawn in. The title was different to say the least, but also the fact that the book shares “52 lessons you should have learned in school” had me captivated in a second. After reading, I enjoyed the book and would recommend it to teens and young adults, as long as they can handle graphic language and dark humor.
In F@#$ing History, The Captain uses historical references and tidbits to explain modern life lessons. They cover a wide variety of topics, including getting “ghosted” and how to deal with divorce. His comical, informal language had me laughing out loud at some points and always kept me interested. This is definitely a nontraditional book.
However, at some points the descriptions were a little too vulgar, especially for those who are sensitive to inappropriate language. Also, the main topic of the book was relationships and dating, so if that doesn’t sound appealing to you, this might not be the book for you.
Overall, I truly enjoyed my read of F@#$ing History by The Captain. Although there were points were the details were too graphic, those minor inconveniences were outshined by the laughs and smiles I had while reading this novel. I definitely want to check out more of his books in the future.
In F@#$ing History, The Captain uses historical references and tidbits to explain modern life lessons. They cover a wide variety of topics, including getting “ghosted” and how to deal with divorce. His comical, informal language had me laughing out loud at some points and always kept me interested. This is definitely a nontraditional book.
However, at some points the descriptions were a little too vulgar, especially for those who are sensitive to inappropriate language. Also, the main topic of the book was relationships and dating, so if that doesn’t sound appealing to you, this might not be the book for you.
Overall, I truly enjoyed my read of F@#$ing History by The Captain. Although there were points were the details were too graphic, those minor inconveniences were outshined by the laughs and smiles I had while reading this novel. I definitely want to check out more of his books in the future.
September 11, 2020
What a wild, insightful, funny, interesting book! To say the least. 111 Lessons You Should Have Learned In School. The Captain is not wrong about that! This book was such an enjoyable read. The Captain kicks off each short 2 page chapter with an everyday concept like Getting Ghosted, Knowing When To Drop A Grudge/Relationship, Stepping Up Your Game With Your Partner, just to name a few AND then will connect this concept to an insightful and funny history lesson! With humor and wittiness intertwined with each history lesson, the reader is captivated by the text and the connection between something happening today to an event or person from over 1,000+ years ago! That is my favorite part! The book isn’t exactly focused on history facts from World War II or events within the last 100 years. The Captain pulls some serious research to show events from years like 500 AD and 1389 to show the clear connection between to two drastically different time periods. The book is filled with real, down-to-earth wisdom like never losing sight of yourself and how no one should have the power to make you feel a negative way that sinks you into a deep hole of despair. Be You! The Captain is certainly being himself! Really enjoyed this book and would encourage you all to check it out. Laugh out loud as you read while also gaining valuable history lessons!
July 15, 2024
This book is not exactly what I was expecting but it was very entertaining which was my goal. It is not exactly a book. But a collection of interesting history. I think it is very interesting to see how people behaved and what society allowed 100, 500 years and even longer in the past. I think we often do not realize that these times were not all that long ago.
I liked the captains humor to introduce although I can see how some may find it useless. It is broken up into short enough stories so it can keep even the most phone addicted persons attention. The history was fun and accurate as far as I know. It also highlights many women of history that are not highlighted enough.
Finally, I appreciate how it talks about customs, traditions and more as oppose to history where we hear of politics war and advancements in sciences arts, etc i find this is important to tell in parallel, because if you just consider the "important" history, , you may see history in a different light than what it truly is. A bunch of dummies trying to
survive and thrive if they are lucky, just like today.
All in all this is a silly and educational book. i would recommend to anyone.
I liked the captains humor to introduce although I can see how some may find it useless. It is broken up into short enough stories so it can keep even the most phone addicted persons attention. The history was fun and accurate as far as I know. It also highlights many women of history that are not highlighted enough.
Finally, I appreciate how it talks about customs, traditions and more as oppose to history where we hear of politics war and advancements in sciences arts, etc i find this is important to tell in parallel, because if you just consider the "important" history, , you may see history in a different light than what it truly is. A bunch of dummies trying to
survive and thrive if they are lucky, just like today.
All in all this is a silly and educational book. i would recommend to anyone.
December 30, 2022
This is a super great book to just have around if you want a few quick little mental reset breaks. Each "lesson" is really a 250 words or less history story that covers a wide range of topics. Particularly cool because it mostly focuses on people that history has largely forgot but who did interesting or amazing things. Also particularly cool that most of those are women, so this actually works great for anyone wanting to know more about some pretty impressive women throughout history. It's also generally pretty good at being global and featuring stories of people who aren't just American or European.
February 18, 2019
Horrible Histories - but with expletives
Swearing is funny right? add an expletive to any sentence you are a comedian yes? Well, no, not really.
This book reminded me of Men Are Better Than Women by Dick Masterson. Not the actual content, but the continual swearing in an attempt to be funny. The actual historical events whilst briefly covered were mostly interesting, but I just don't see the point of the book.
The content is too thin and the lowbrow humour did not work for me.
Swearing is funny right? add an expletive to any sentence you are a comedian yes? Well, no, not really.
This book reminded me of Men Are Better Than Women by Dick Masterson. Not the actual content, but the continual swearing in an attempt to be funny. The actual historical events whilst briefly covered were mostly interesting, but I just don't see the point of the book.
The content is too thin and the lowbrow humour did not work for me.
June 7, 2023
I listened to this on Audible. I was looking for something my 18 year old son and I could enjoy on a long car trip. It was nearly too much. I wasn't expecting it to be mostly sexually based history. The stories were short and some were quite interesting.
My one compliment is that it does champion women in history. The language felt forced at times. Like it was trying too hard to be edgy. I wouldn't recommend this book unless you are only looking for conversation topics to pull out at a bar somewhere.
My one compliment is that it does champion women in history. The language felt forced at times. Like it was trying too hard to be edgy. I wouldn't recommend this book unless you are only looking for conversation topics to pull out at a bar somewhere.
December 28, 2019
You’re not going to site this as a source in your thesis to graduate with a History degree, but you may learn a few fun, historical facts you didn’t know before and you will definitely have a few good laughs.
It is true that if history were presented in such a fun, accessible, relatable way, maybe more people would be curious about what has happened in the past and how that affects our present and our future.
It is true that if history were presented in such a fun, accessible, relatable way, maybe more people would be curious about what has happened in the past and how that affects our present and our future.
November 24, 2025
While the information in this novel(?) is interesting, the narrator was so insufferable I couldn't imagine rating this anything higher than one star. Borderline sexist and totally misanthropic, The Captain swears as much as they tell story- although I suppose I should have expected as much from a book called Fucking History- and half the time the underdeveloped and idiotic social commentary disguised as a hook took up more of the chapter than the history itself.
January 9, 2019
The F Word and History, it's a strange win.
I learned a lot. There are some good nuggets of information in there to teach some obscure history. It's profane, shocking and worth a read if the F Word doesn't offend you. If the F Word does offend you, you should probably get over it and read it anyway.
I learned a lot. There are some good nuggets of information in there to teach some obscure history. It's profane, shocking and worth a read if the F Word doesn't offend you. If the F Word does offend you, you should probably get over it and read it anyway.
January 5, 2020
Book 2 of 2020. This book was hilarious, crude, and wild. Lots of fun history tidbits written with intermingled modern references and vulgar language. It’s was like the Thug Kitchen Cookbook for history nerds like myself. I’m not sure about the credibility of the historical facts because there isn’t a works cited section or any references, but it was fun and enjoyable notwithstanding.
July 18, 2020
Quick fun read. Short two pages historical facts wrapped up in a raunchy, funny and sarcastic tone. It's like when your friend with no filter tells you about something he/she saw on the history channel last night. Some of the stories make me want to learn more about a historical figure or event. So it definitely peaked my interest.
January 9, 2024
A bit gimmicky— more entertaining than informative, more a collection of weird and wacky history anecdotes than deep or insightful history. Lots of gratuitous profanity, lots of fun little stories, each of which is exact length required to read during a brief sit on the toilet, which seems to be the ideal reading environment for the potty humor in this lightweight book.
February 17, 2024
A short book that combines unique history stories/facts with what the author deems as relatable advice. I listened via Audiobook and cannot believe he says EXPECIALLY. I would have much preferred this if he stuck to just the history lessons, but instead he added in a lot of F-bombs and comedic [unsuccessful] attempts. I felt like it was a boomer trying very hard to impress Gen Z'ers. Next!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 91 reviews