What does the gospel say about your fears? What does it say about the irrational ones, like sinkholes in the Target parking lot? How does it speak to the rational ones, like pet scan predictions? And does the gospel have a word for the fears you feel you'll have for life, like the possibility of losing the one you love most?
Growing up in the green room of SNL, being born to a fire-eater and adopted by a SWAT cop, having internal organs explode, and adopting a deaf girl from China, Scarlet Hiltibidal has been given some strange life experiences—and lived in fear through most of them.
But life changed for Scarlet when she learned to hold the gospel up to her fears. She realized that though she can't fix herself or protect herself, Jesus walked into this broken, sad, scary place to rescue, love, and cast out her—and your—fear.
Seeing life in light of the cross will help you avoid fear, overcome fear when you can’t avoid it, and live beyond fear when you don’t overcome it. You don't have to be afraid of all the things.
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Scarlet Hiltibidal is the author of Afraid of All the Things and He Numbered the Pores on My Face. She also writes a regular column for ParentLife Magazine and enjoys speaking to women around the country about the freedom and rest available in Jesus. Scarlet lives in Middle Tennessee, where she loves sign language with her daughters, nachos by herself, writing for her friends, and learning how to raise ducks with her husband for no reason other than cuteness.
If there was ever a book to read coming off of 2020, this has to be it. Let's just pause for a minute and review: wildfires, a global pandemic, the subsequent stock market crash and national toilet paper shortage, an impeachment trial, an election, murder hornets, hurricanes, and the list of things I didn't even know to be afraid of could continue. Afraid of all the things just feels like a great summary of the year. Anyways, let's just start this review by establishing that I am a naturally nervous person. As a result, I have read a lot about fear and overcoming it, and this is by far my favorite perspective.
First of all, Scarlet was so incredibly humble and real. A lot of times, Christian books about fear take a 'you just need to have more faith' approach. While their point may be valid, in my personal opinion it comes across as impersonal, a bit preachy, and just overall unhelpful for naturally nervous people. This was the exact opposite. Scarlet shared her fears over the years (irrational and not) in a way that was relatable, even though I've never been particularly paranoid about my appendix rupturing. She didn't approach the topic from a place of having all the answers, but as a friend sharing her experiences. Fear is a topic that is frequently associated with shame (especially in the Christian community) and so this approach was such a blessing.
Another thing that I loved is how engaging this book was. Scarlet did a wonderful job integrating humor into her writing, to the point that I laughed harder while reading this than I have in a while. She has lived a fascinating life (did you notice that her mom was on SNL?), and so her wide variety of stories all kept me fully absorbed.
Finally (and most importantly), her theology was on point. It was a perfect mixture of personal accountability and grace. People who are naturally nervous generally cannot just 'get over it,' like other books have implied. Overcoming fearfulness is a journey that must be pursued actively, despite the ups and downs that come along. Her constant emphasis on the Gospel was both encouraging and challenging.
Overall, this was an excellent book, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who might be a bit naturally nervous.
I received a copy of this book via NetGalley for the purpose of this review. All thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.
I listened to this on audible and I wish I hadn’t because there were plenty of solid tidbits that I wanted to underline/make note of.
I loved this because I felt *understood* by this author, hearing about her battle with everyday fears, both significant and insignificant. I can’t relate to some of her experiences, but overall, very much on the same page about how she views God sometimes because of her fear. I’m inspired by her growth and revelations throughout those experiences.
She incorporated lots of scripture and thought provoking quotes that I failed to write down. But overall, the moral of the story is that 1. My fears do not define me 2. My fears will not defeat me 3. My fears aren’t forever
Jesus truly paid it all on the cross. His perfect love casts out fear. I can find comfort in that and work on not letting my fears cripple me from being used by God!
I was introduced to Scarlet Hiltibidal on Stephanie May Wilson's podcast Girls Night, and it was love at first listen. "Yes!" I rejoiced. "This girl is a Christian and she struggles with anxiety. She gets me!" Scarlet Hiltibidal is the Christian Brene Brown. “I’d describe myself as a geriatric baby Christian...Even when I lacked pinpointable phobias, I lived with an underlying anxiety that I was doing this whole life all wrong...Sometimes believing lies just feels better. We believe a lot of lies that pretend to protect our hearts from the things we fear...dishonest hopes can be found everywhere...lies did bring me comfort.” The lie is, “I can’t wait until I’m 82, so I can look back on my life and know with certainty what happens and how it all works out.” The lie is when I am old, THEN I can rest. In life’s twilight, I will be tranquil.
“The lie is that the more isolated and ‘in control’ we are, the more peace we’ll feel...Isolation and ‘control’ might produce a quieter life. But peace isn’t a quiet life; peace is a quiet soul.” Only truth brings peace. And truth only comes when we hold the gospel up to our fears. Scarlet points not to a formula, but to a cross. She doesn’t say “do,” but “DONE.” She doesn’t say “you,” she says “Jesus.” She doesn’t offer future peace, peace is present. IN the present! In HIS presence! We can KNOW Peace (in the uppercase AND lower) NOW! Peace puts fear in its place. He is the Friend of Fearers. She reminds me that my identity is not what I’ve accomplished today but what Christ accomplished on the cross. And that Scripture is “like a set of keys I’d left in the same spot I always do, and I knew they were there all along...He is a single huff from having my heart.”
“Jesus died for you, but He didn’t die for your fears...Fear can’t speak because Jesus has already spoken...Jesus has a word for you: ‘Fear not.’” “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears” (Ps. 34:4). “Write this on your favorite child’s face...God and His kingdom are forever. The bills and medications and the parking tickets and the obituaries and the lawsuits are temporary.”
We are God’s kids, so we can laugh with dirty faces! When we hold up the mirror of the gospel, we are free to smile, not matter what is before us, because God is constantly smiling at us already, because of what Jesus has done, already.Who promises peace when our minds are at war? THANKS BE TO GOD THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD! “As I listened to the war of words in my head, God granted me grace to help me hear the still, small voice over the loud, scared one.” While the winds scream of the worries of the world, He is the eye in the storm assuring us we are loved.
Stop, drop, and pick up your copy of Afraid of All the Things at your local bookstore today!
4.5 stars. Definitely recommend to any Christian who struggles with debilitating fear like me. And even those who are just afraid of regular things in regular ways, or if you are supporting someone who struggles this way. Sometimes Scarlet spoke my own fears back to me verbatim and then spoke truth over them and that was really encouraging. Real and funny and hopeful.
Fear is an unreasonable despot seizing control of our reason. We tell ourselves everything is going to be fine and we try to seize back control, but anytime we tell our hearts that we have the power to make ourselves safe, we lie. As Scarlett points out, even Jesus was scared before the cross.
I started this book laughing at some of the silly fears Scarlet recounts and ended the last few chapters tearing up continuously at the relatable realness of her fears.
SPOILER ALERT
My chest aches at Scarlet's description of her first days adopting. I've long thought I would one day like to adopt, and never thought of how fear could ambush me in this situation. As I read this passage yet again, it strikes me that the same could be said of any situation where I think I have things under control.
"I was handed this girl. This starving, severely developmentally delayed, fearful, flailing, tiny, earless deaf girl. I felt so much compassion for her, but I didn’t feel ready. And suddenly, I didn’t feel okay. Suddenly, I was scared. Incredibly, crushingly scared. I’d done the training, but truthfully, I hadn’t really believed that the training applied to me. I’d subtly listened to the lie that “I’m strong enough. I’m better. I’m more equipped for this than the ‘weaker’ parents from the training who struggled.” My pride and judgment from the past few months leading up to the trip was instantly exposed to me, but repentance wasn’t my first idea. Rather, my first ideas were isolation, ignoring texts from my friends, and despair...
God gave us this girl. We knew that to be true. And we loved her already. But I spent those first days grieving. I grieved the simpler days of soccer practice and laughing in my home with my healthy, happy girls. I grieved the hopes I had of signing the gospel to Joy, so she could understand and know grace and freedom. I grieved for my plans to see her grow up and thrive. And I was angry at myself for grieving. And angry at myself for being weak. Angry at myself for being afraid. Angry at myself for sinning. Angry. How could I be so stupid? How could I be so proud? How did I think I was doing this with the Lord all those months, and look at me now? Look at how sad I am! Look at how stiff she is when I try to rock her. If I’d really been walking with God, I wouldn’t feel so much fear and sadness right now! I’d be celebrating! Do I know my own heart?? Does the Lord know my heart? Is He going to take care of me?"
So if the secret to overcoming fear isn't eliminating it or controlling it, what is it?
Tim Keller writes, “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”
Love that doesn’t always feel easy is the kind of love that will stop you in your tracks and change your life. Love like that drives out fear.
Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
I read this book, not thinking I really dealt with anxiety in my life. Yet, as Scarlet unpacked the everyday fear that she has experienced from big events to small events, I saw myself. Scarlet has stories that seem impossible for one life - her mom was on SNL, so she grew up in the green room; her dad was a fire-eater; her step-dad was a Miami-Dade SWAT team member. This book, which she began in elementary school, is a hope-filled reminder of Who we trust and His ability to handle it all. Equal parts hilarious, redemptive, and moving, you need to read this book, whether you think you deal with anxiety or not.
I am so thankful that I read this book during the season I constantly fear I am in. This book is the most IMPORTANT and life-changing piece of Christian Living literature that I have ever read. Scarlet, first off is so down to earth. You feel as if you are reading a message from a life-long friend. Second, her story is absolutely insane and amazing all in one. She speaks so many truths and you can definitely tell that God really put words into her mind for her to jot down onto paper. If you fear constantly, please take the time to read this book. If I could give is 10 stars I would. Wow. Just amazing. 😭❤️
This book is what my heart needed! Whether you consider yourself an anxious/afraid person or not, there are still important, rich Gospel truths here for you. Scarlett rejects the platitude that “everything will be okay” and encourages us with the good character of God and His love for us when things are NOT okay. Bad, scary, anxiety-producing things happen, but Scarlett walks us through the Hope and Help we have in the midst of those things! Plus, Scarlett is hilarious and vulnerable and oh so relatable! Can not recommend this enough!
This book is outstanding! It hits right to the point and shows how the Gospel conquers fear. It will make you laugh, cry, and feel all the feels. Scarlet writes in an accessible way that brings the truth to the forefront and easy to grasp. I won’t say there was anything brand new that I learned from this book (other than her personal stories), but it was a great reminder of the greatness of God and how much He loves us.
Edited from my original review: I read this in ePub galley form and apparently changes were made in the final printing that fixed some of my issues. The one star goes for the galley I read, but I deleted the rest of my review as I haven’t read final version.
Filled with so many good reminders of His presence and faithfulness. Loved the author’s relevant and relatable stories that made me feel less alone in my outrageous worries
The message that makes Scarlet’s book the kind that everyone should read is succinctly captured in the subtitle: Tornadoes, Cancer, Adoption, and Other Stuff You Need the Gospel For. We live in a world that is broken, and there are plenty of things to be afraid of. Some things—like sinkholes—many of us may never experience, but others—like death—will inevitably form part of all our stories. In Afraid of All the Things, Scarlet shares how she has learned to hold the gospel up to her fears. Through spending time searching through and soaking in the truths of Scripture, she’s learned to stand in the face of subjective worries and anxieties by standing on the objective truth of the saving, sustaining gospel of Jesus. What’s that truth? At no point does Jesus promise life with him will be free of tornadoes, cancer, or death; but he does promise his presence, and that is reason enough to no longer be afraid of all the things. (full review at http://www.chrismacleavy.com/2019/02/...)
I bought this for my patrons back in November 2019 and boy, did we ever need this book!
When the pandemic hit and everything closed up, I brought this book home with me.
I slowly read through almost half of it and brought it back to my school library intending to use it for devotionals with my junior girls' home group. That never quite materialized but what did happen was...
In March 2021, I received an unexpected, serious health diagnosis out of the blue. I knew this was the book I wanted to bring to the hospital with me for a potentially life saving surgery I was going to undergo. In God's timing, the chapter I had left off at was the one on serious illness.
And, boy did it help! It was way more helpful than the Preparing for Surgery book I had been gifted, and it was just what I needed to help calm me down.
I'm so happy Scarlet Hiltibidal wrote this and, hopefully, someday soon, I WILL be able to use this as a devotional with my teenagers.
A hilarious, raw, honest and gospel-centred book. This book f had me bookmarking some areas that really made me think and reflect about our view of the Lord and how our view of Him effects our fears. I listened to the audiobook version of this book and would do it again in a heartbeat. Hiltibidal has a unique and yet subtle humour that had me laughing out loud while pointing to the amazing God we worship!
Good, not great, look at anxiety through a Christian lens. The strengths of this book are Hiltibidal's voice, which is consistent throughout, and her urge to constantly turn the reader back toward Scripture. This could be a great introduction to anxiety and its spiritual medicine, but should certainly exist within a larger conversation about its causes, remedies, etc.
This heartfelt memoir is often light and humorous in tone, but the subject is quite serious. It details the author's struggles with near-crippling fears and anxiety and reveals how the truth of the gospel continues to meet those needs in her life. I appreciated her honesty and her balanced, scriptural approach.
"God's Word is the answer to the questions you don't even know you have. It's the remedy for fear and selfishness....Not because it's full of beautiful and comforting words, but because it's full of LIVING words. It's full of THE Word.
Jesus is in that book.
The Bible reminds us who God is. It reminds us who we are. It reminds us Whose we are. It reminds us that we are forgiven. It reminds us that we are rescued. It reminds us that we've already proven we don't have the strength to make it. And it reminds us that God has already proven He'll go to the death to take care of us...And through His Word, the Holy Spirit can comfort us and lead us out of fear and foreboding and back into 'the light of the knowledge of God's glory in the face of Jesus Christ' (2 Cor 4:6)."
An excellent read that had me both laughing and crying simultaneously. Scarlet reminds us that while we live in a broken world with much to be afraid of, we are not defined by our fears. We belong to Jesus- the “Cross Bearer, Past Forgeter, Fear Crusher, Death Destroyer, Friend of Sinners, Friend of Fearers.” We don’t have to ignore fears or discredit our feelings. But we do need to hold them up against Scripture and believe the truth of the Gospel. Jesus has already won and in the midst of the storm we get to rest secure in Him. I think this might make my “yearly read” list.
“Jesus Christ is the source of all calm. He is the Creator of comfort. He has defeated all the sad and scary things, so they can’t harm you in the deepest ways. Your soul is secure. Jesus us the thing-the One thing that you can hold onto when you’re scared.”
This book put words to fears and anxieties that I’ve always struggled with. There were parts of the book where I felt like I was reading thoughts that have been hidden and jumbled in my own mind. I’m reminded of the hope and truth we have in Christ. He truly is the answer to fear, worry, and even depression.
When a friend recommended this book, I put it off because (ironically) I was afraid. What if this book gave me MORE ideas of irrational things to be afraid of? I certainly didn't need any more ideas.
I finally listened to the audiobook. Wow. Is it possible that the author has actually been INSIDE my head? I felt like I was getting coffee with a dear friend who had dealt with the same issues that I had and was lovingly giving me assurance, a listening ear, and Scripture.
Tears rolled as the author reminded me again and again that God is in control of my life, He doesn't want me to be afraid, and He is worth trusting. My heart felt so settled after listening. I may listen again in a few months.
SO GOOD! If you have anxiety or fear over what you realize are irrational things, read this! But even if you DONT have those fears, read this! Scarlet eloquently speaks in scripture throughout the whole book. It was so encouraging and motivating. Highly recommend!
This book was helpful in many ways: * We're not alone in struggling with anxiety, lots of folks do. * Jesus has already defeated everything we fear on the cross. * Our anxieties can't defeat us, and they won't last forever. * Fix our eyes on the goodness and sovereignty of God and we'll find peace. * Yes, as Christians, we are not promised an easy life - life happens to everyone - but through Jesus, we have hope and are safe in the truest and most long-lasting sense. * This book was hilarious as the author, whose mother was an SNL cast member, shares bits of her own life and fears.
The only thing that bothered me about this book is that it is seeped in legalism. The author is a Baptist from the Bible-belt, so it makes sense. She reiterates how fear/anxiety is a sin and heaps a huge amount of guilt on herself and the reader..... I know there is a very fine line between legalism and too much grace, but I believe God has grace on me with my anxiety. So much grace and love. He wants me to come to Him, not out of guilt, but out of a heart that WANTS to seek refuge in Him, for He is "the anchor of my soul."
“How strange this fear of death is! We are never frightened at a sunset.” - George MacDonald
It took me years to start reading this book and then months to finally finish it. The truth is, I’m not really inclined towards facing my fears. I don’t like to think about them; let alone have to deal with them. They’re better off swept under the rug; that’s how I like it. If I don’t admit them they’re not real. Something like that. However, this book was a great reminder of what it feels like when you lay your fears at the feet of the cross; nothing else beats it. The freedom, peace and composure you feel is something else entirely. Wouldn’t trade it for anything. But my God, how often do I forget. Therefore, this book!
If you've secretly struggled with anxiety and fear and felt shame, you have a new best friend in Scarlet Hiltibidal. For starters, Scarlet is pee in your pants funny. But more importantly, she has fought through her fears and found a God who is faithful. She shares her story with an incredible authenticity, and she reminds you God is bigger than your scariest nightmare. -- I could not put this book down. It not only made me laugh about things that normally make me cry, and it reminded me that anything is possible when you remember God has conquered the grave to rescue you. -- Forget Xanax. Buy this book first.
So wonderful. I'm grateful to have read this book. Christian books can sometimes feel cheesy or insincere. I don't think like most christian authors, I can't connect. But this book felt so completely genuine & honest. When she spoke about anxiety it felt like the words were directly from my brain! But her thoughts about getting through anxiety were beautiful, satisfying & full of bible verses. Also, funny! Would definitely recommend.
I've read a lot of Christian books about anxiety, but what I particularly liked about this one was how Hiltibidal makes fun of her own anxiety. She uses humour throughout, which makes reading about tough subjects bearable, but I also found that it robbed the anxiety of its power. s she discusses her fears of tornadoes, cancer, exploding organs, adoption, special needs and lots more, she applies the gospel and helps us to see that even if our worst fears do happen, God is still good.