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Unfriended: Finding True Community in a Disconnected Culture
We live in a hyperconnected world, and yet we're more disconnected than ever. We spend more time scrolling through Instagram than we do talking with our families. We've never had more ''friends,'' but we have no one to meet for coffee.
Joe Battaglia understands that we are wired to have community, and that smartphones cannot meet our needs for love, acceptance, touch, and connection. In Unfriended , Battaglia uses research, personal insight, and biblical truths to help
Unfriended will help you shake off your digital fatigue and get back to real-life, real-world relationships with real people.
Additional guest chapters by Iris C. O'Brien, Michael Guillen, Donna Rice Hughes, and Delilah.
Joe Battaglia understands that we are wired to have community, and that smartphones cannot meet our needs for love, acceptance, touch, and connection. In Unfriended , Battaglia uses research, personal insight, and biblical truths to help
Unfriended will help you shake off your digital fatigue and get back to real-life, real-world relationships with real people.
Additional guest chapters by Iris C. O'Brien, Michael Guillen, Donna Rice Hughes, and Delilah.
- GenresNonfiction
160 pages, Paperback
Published October 2, 2018
6 people are currently reading
52 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
December 28, 2025
Basically, everyone should get off of their technology and actually interact with real people. People were created by God and we were created to love each other and to interact with each other. We were not created to spend all of our time behind a screen where we can say anything we want to without retribution.
The cons of technology by far outweigh the pros. People are far more disconnected, unhappy, anxious, depressed, angry, and lonely now, even though social media is supposed to “bring us together”. Not to mention that the uses of technology are not limited to a few nasty comments online, but it is also used for the sexual exploitation of women and children and men alike.
I think everyone should read this book and do some serious thinking about how much time we spend on our phones, computers, online games, etc. It is a lot more serious than you may think.
The cons of technology by far outweigh the pros. People are far more disconnected, unhappy, anxious, depressed, angry, and lonely now, even though social media is supposed to “bring us together”. Not to mention that the uses of technology are not limited to a few nasty comments online, but it is also used for the sexual exploitation of women and children and men alike.
I think everyone should read this book and do some serious thinking about how much time we spend on our phones, computers, online games, etc. It is a lot more serious than you may think.
June 16, 2019
This was an interesting read. While there were many passages in it that really resonated with me, and I agree with the author that our culture is definitely becoming more disconnected, in one way, and needs to find its way back to true community, this books was not, in my mind, what I thought it would be.
Amazon's description of it reads, in part: "In Unfriended, Battaglia uses research, personal insight, and biblical truths to help you: leave behind the anonymity of the Internet and get face-to-face with people, and go beyond the 'like' button and establish meaningful relationships." In reality, Battaglia's book is much more personal insight and biblical commentary than research-backed facts. This wouldn't be a problem if it hadn't claimed to include research, but I was really hoping to find a book strong in all three of those areas, with the research being facts and data about how many people have social media accounts, whether the net benefit of the internet has been positive or negative so far, a summary of all the studies done on use and effect of social media, etc.
I realize that this is, perhaps, a tall order, especially since some other books provide some of that data. And, as I mentioned, there were many passages that were so on point and salient to our society today that I want to make sure as many people know about them as possible, like:
"American was founded upon the realization that we must have differences to be more fully one. When differences come together in an appreciation of their God-given opportunities, the resultant outcome is strength, not weakness. Just the opposite of what many seem to think.
"Part of the issue we face today is the lack of appreciation of our differences. It's easy to hide within so-called online communities of sameness. And then we bemoan the problems in our world caused by those who think differently, act different, or look different than us."
And this:
"We are much like those [redwood] trees [that have a shallow but very intertwined root system]. The strength to sustain ourselves against the forces in life that seek to topple us is only found in community. The living of life in real time and in context of each other's lives gives us stability, meaning, identity, and love."
So true, don't you agree?
That being said, this book is mostly a sermon about the need for community, couched within Jesus' teachings about forgiveness and true neighborly love (all good), with a sermon about the evils of social media being couched within both of those and being the smallest of them. Its writer's expertise is as a Christian lay person, rather than than academic, clergy member, or internet guru. It contains no practical tips about how to abstain entirely from social media, to "unfriend" everyone online, as it were, so it can not be considered a self-help book in that respect.
If you are looking for a book with smart commentary about the negative effects of the internet or social media, this is it. If you are looking for a connection between that commentary and Christ's teachings, this is it. If, however, you, like me, are looking for something more all-encompassing, factual, or rooted in a more everyday, nuanced reality that includes using social media for its benefits, and smart, informed, and judicial use of the internet's vast resources, this is not it.
Amazon's description of it reads, in part: "In Unfriended, Battaglia uses research, personal insight, and biblical truths to help you: leave behind the anonymity of the Internet and get face-to-face with people, and go beyond the 'like' button and establish meaningful relationships." In reality, Battaglia's book is much more personal insight and biblical commentary than research-backed facts. This wouldn't be a problem if it hadn't claimed to include research, but I was really hoping to find a book strong in all three of those areas, with the research being facts and data about how many people have social media accounts, whether the net benefit of the internet has been positive or negative so far, a summary of all the studies done on use and effect of social media, etc.
I realize that this is, perhaps, a tall order, especially since some other books provide some of that data. And, as I mentioned, there were many passages that were so on point and salient to our society today that I want to make sure as many people know about them as possible, like:
"American was founded upon the realization that we must have differences to be more fully one. When differences come together in an appreciation of their God-given opportunities, the resultant outcome is strength, not weakness. Just the opposite of what many seem to think.
"Part of the issue we face today is the lack of appreciation of our differences. It's easy to hide within so-called online communities of sameness. And then we bemoan the problems in our world caused by those who think differently, act different, or look different than us."
And this:
"We are much like those [redwood] trees [that have a shallow but very intertwined root system]. The strength to sustain ourselves against the forces in life that seek to topple us is only found in community. The living of life in real time and in context of each other's lives gives us stability, meaning, identity, and love."
So true, don't you agree?
That being said, this book is mostly a sermon about the need for community, couched within Jesus' teachings about forgiveness and true neighborly love (all good), with a sermon about the evils of social media being couched within both of those and being the smallest of them. Its writer's expertise is as a Christian lay person, rather than than academic, clergy member, or internet guru. It contains no practical tips about how to abstain entirely from social media, to "unfriend" everyone online, as it were, so it can not be considered a self-help book in that respect.
If you are looking for a book with smart commentary about the negative effects of the internet or social media, this is it. If you are looking for a connection between that commentary and Christ's teachings, this is it. If, however, you, like me, are looking for something more all-encompassing, factual, or rooted in a more everyday, nuanced reality that includes using social media for its benefits, and smart, informed, and judicial use of the internet's vast resources, this is not it.
August 15, 2018
What a wonderful resource. There is so much wisdom and information packed in these twenty five chapters. From the dangers of isolation brought on by the social media revolution, to the benefits of real community, the joy of experiencing the grandeur of nature to the simple wagging tail of a dog.
At every turn of the page Battaglia offered a new insight, another challenge and the benefits for being willing to implement the suggestions that he puts forward. I believe that this should be a recommend reading for anyone who has children they can influence, and for young adults who are getting ready to transition from life stage to another. Battaglia's wisdom can offer help in navigating the difficult relational challenges that stand before any of us, especially those who are preparing for major changes in life.
Well Done!
At every turn of the page Battaglia offered a new insight, another challenge and the benefits for being willing to implement the suggestions that he puts forward. I believe that this should be a recommend reading for anyone who has children they can influence, and for young adults who are getting ready to transition from life stage to another. Battaglia's wisdom can offer help in navigating the difficult relational challenges that stand before any of us, especially those who are preparing for major changes in life.
Well Done!
February 24, 2021
So much of what we seek online is elusive. The connections can't take the place of in-person fellowship, the time spent online can't be recovered, the friends are represented by a number, the clicks and likes are unfulfilling, and any satisfaction gained is fleeting.
Joe Battaglia (and a few guest writers in later chapters, including radio personality Delilah) have a solid book here that should be a required user's manual for anyone who desires to open a social media account. Using the theme of "community" throughout, the reader learns that all the advertised benefits of our online lives are not even new concepts, and what we've traded in order to keep up a cyber persona is costing us the real-life opportunity to gain what we're actually seeking.
Joe Battaglia (and a few guest writers in later chapters, including radio personality Delilah) have a solid book here that should be a required user's manual for anyone who desires to open a social media account. Using the theme of "community" throughout, the reader learns that all the advertised benefits of our online lives are not even new concepts, and what we've traded in order to keep up a cyber persona is costing us the real-life opportunity to gain what we're actually seeking.
August 18, 2019
I was a bit slow off the mark downloading this, and it was archived before I got the chance, so I bought a copy to review.
An interesting and insightful read. I felt Joe Battaglia was spot on with his observations, many of which echoed my own concerns regarding our use of social media.
Thank you for approving my request, and apologies for not taking you up on the offer to read it.
An interesting and insightful read. I felt Joe Battaglia was spot on with his observations, many of which echoed my own concerns regarding our use of social media.
Thank you for approving my request, and apologies for not taking you up on the offer to read it.
July 18, 2021
A book about building true authentic community! This has a lot of great nuggets of wisdom. It was well written and formatted in an easy to understand way.
January 26, 2023
Interesting perspective, but very redundant. The first half kept me hungry, but by the end, I only finished it because it was short enough that I knew it wouldn't take long.
September 5, 2018
3 stars
“We live in a hyperconnected world, and yet we’re more disconnected than ever. We spend more time scrolling through Instagram than we do talking with our families. We’ve never had more “friends,” but we have no one to meet for coffee”.
Good concept, interesting stories but the book just reads slightly patronizing. The idea behind the book is sound but implementation is unrealistic in many ways. Simply put, the idea of going out a finding true Christian friends is a lot more difficult than merely getting off of your phone or computer.
A number of various authors write on what faith, family and community means to them. The authors share differing views on what being plugged in does to family and community; for instance, the lack of sharing bedrooms, using phones at the dinner table and more.
Each chapter is an essay which has a verse followed by the authors view on how society is no longer “close” and how everyone needs to unplug in various different ways. Maybe I missed the point of the book but the theology seemed a little squishy and the book was just a tad patronizing. I love a good Christian book, but I am ambivalent about this one at best.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from NetGalley and Broadstreet Publishing Group LLC. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. #Unfriended #NetGalley
“We live in a hyperconnected world, and yet we’re more disconnected than ever. We spend more time scrolling through Instagram than we do talking with our families. We’ve never had more “friends,” but we have no one to meet for coffee”.
Good concept, interesting stories but the book just reads slightly patronizing. The idea behind the book is sound but implementation is unrealistic in many ways. Simply put, the idea of going out a finding true Christian friends is a lot more difficult than merely getting off of your phone or computer.
A number of various authors write on what faith, family and community means to them. The authors share differing views on what being plugged in does to family and community; for instance, the lack of sharing bedrooms, using phones at the dinner table and more.
Each chapter is an essay which has a verse followed by the authors view on how society is no longer “close” and how everyone needs to unplug in various different ways. Maybe I missed the point of the book but the theology seemed a little squishy and the book was just a tad patronizing. I love a good Christian book, but I am ambivalent about this one at best.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from NetGalley and Broadstreet Publishing Group LLC. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. #Unfriended #NetGalley
October 6, 2018
Unfortunately not my kind of book at all. Sadly did not finish it.
Thank you to both NetGalley and Broadstreet Publishing Group for giving me the opportunity to read this in exchange for an unbiased review
Thank you to both NetGalley and Broadstreet Publishing Group for giving me the opportunity to read this in exchange for an unbiased review
October 29, 2018
Unfriended is a journey into our habits on social media, the definition of true community, and seeking ways to do both better. Joe raises some real questions that matter: Are we really in community while online? Or is it a vacuum of shared ideas? Bullying? Distasteful behaviors?
Throughout the book, Joe brings Biblical illustrations of what true community is, through stories of the Good Samaritan, the woman at the well, the woman accused of adultery, and pivotal messages from Jesus--The Sermon on the Mount, The Beatitudes and many other parables Christ shared with his people.
The thought that social media is a 'community' is a curious one, as Joe expands on. While we think we 'know' those we are virtual friends with, the truth is, it is not person to person, face to face. That's where the issues begin, When the person behind the computer becomes only a photo on the screen, it's much easier to say things one might not say face to face. Easier to make friends, but not friends who see the non airbrushed part of who we are. Then there are the issues of political arguments, discussions that get out of hand and active cyberbullying, to name only a few.
It is a quick read, but could be broken up into group study or used for a devotional, as, each chapter has a prayer at its conclusion. This was a well written, interesting book with lots of subject for discussion. I appreciate the advanced reader PDF from #NetGalley and Broadstreet Publishing!
Throughout the book, Joe brings Biblical illustrations of what true community is, through stories of the Good Samaritan, the woman at the well, the woman accused of adultery, and pivotal messages from Jesus--The Sermon on the Mount, The Beatitudes and many other parables Christ shared with his people.
The thought that social media is a 'community' is a curious one, as Joe expands on. While we think we 'know' those we are virtual friends with, the truth is, it is not person to person, face to face. That's where the issues begin, When the person behind the computer becomes only a photo on the screen, it's much easier to say things one might not say face to face. Easier to make friends, but not friends who see the non airbrushed part of who we are. Then there are the issues of political arguments, discussions that get out of hand and active cyberbullying, to name only a few.
It is a quick read, but could be broken up into group study or used for a devotional, as, each chapter has a prayer at its conclusion. This was a well written, interesting book with lots of subject for discussion. I appreciate the advanced reader PDF from #NetGalley and Broadstreet Publishing!
January 1, 2019
This is a great book showing how social media and the digital world has taken over our lives. It shows many great examples in each chapter. Everyone should read this book. It may open your eyes to what we’ve done to ourselves. Quote from the book “Unfriend digital degradation and perversion in favor of a culture of human dignity and respect. Let’s begin to build a community that represents a Godly culture of love.” unfriend the digital world at least a couple hours a day and we may see the difference. Thank you to #NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read #Unfriended for my honest review.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews