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Murdering Mr. Edwards: Tales from Canterbury High
One obnoxious English teacher. Twelve tales of his death.
In this 'noir-vella' short story collection, Mr. Edwards is murdered by a different staff member in each of twelve tales.
Twelve stories of varying length and gruesomeness, reveal the distinct method and motives of the art teacher, the chemistry teacher, the computer techie, the custodian, the drama teacher, the French teacher, the Home Ec teacher, the phys ed teacher, the physics teacher, the principal, the secretary, and the wood shop teacher.
Outlander author Diana Gabaldon says it's "A clever, funny and totally engaging noir-vella!"
Author Chris McMahen says "If you’ve ever taught in a high school, attended a high school, or even driven past a high school, you will enjoy Murdering Mr. Edwards."
Dark humour set in a high school. A perfect gift for a teacher in your life.
In this 'noir-vella' short story collection, Mr. Edwards is murdered by a different staff member in each of twelve tales.
Twelve stories of varying length and gruesomeness, reveal the distinct method and motives of the art teacher, the chemistry teacher, the computer techie, the custodian, the drama teacher, the French teacher, the Home Ec teacher, the phys ed teacher, the physics teacher, the principal, the secretary, and the wood shop teacher.
Outlander author Diana Gabaldon says it's "A clever, funny and totally engaging noir-vella!"
Author Chris McMahen says "If you’ve ever taught in a high school, attended a high school, or even driven past a high school, you will enjoy Murdering Mr. Edwards."
Dark humour set in a high school. A perfect gift for a teacher in your life.
- GenresMystery
140 pages, Paperback
First published April 10, 2018
2 people are currently reading
20 people want to read
About the author
Shawn L. Bird
38 books90 followersShawn is an author and high school teacher living in the beautiful Shuswap Lake region of British Columbia, Canada with her brilliant, musical husband. She is a former exchange student and a proud member of Rotary, and so she is out to change the world in many ways. Shawn osaa puhua Suomen kieli. Shawn peut parler français.
Come explore with her through blog, Twitter, Pinterest, or Facebook. Shawn is always working on a variety of projects including short stories, novellas, and novels. Of course, during the school year there are students, reading, and marking. There are still dreams and there is still poetry.
Always poetry.
Come explore with her through blog, Twitter, Pinterest, or Facebook. Shawn is always working on a variety of projects including short stories, novellas, and novels. Of course, during the school year there are students, reading, and marking. There are still dreams and there is still poetry.
Always poetry.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
August 5, 2018
I never thought I would enjoy being back in high school again but heading back there with "Murdering Mr. Edwards" was all it took.
The characters were relatable and engaging - I wanted to see them succeed - really succeed- so I think the author helped me embrace my own, um, imagination. That's it.
I recommend this book to anyone who loves to read. It takes you through many POVs and keeps it fresh and fun.
The characters were relatable and engaging - I wanted to see them succeed - really succeed- so I think the author helped me embrace my own, um, imagination. That's it.
I recommend this book to anyone who loves to read. It takes you through many POVs and keeps it fresh and fun.
August 4, 2018
‘No one remembered that the English Department Head office had been closed because of black mould’.
Canadian author Shawn Bird earned her BA in English from Athabasca University and her Med in curriculum form the University of British Columbia and is a high school English teacher, an author, and a poet in the beautiful Shuswap region of British Columbia. She has published the YA novel series Grace Awakening and several books of poetry. In her spare time, she trick trains her talented miniature poodle, plays the harp, and serves her community with Shuswap Rotary Club. MURDERING MR. EDWARDS is her third Young Adult novel – the others being GRACE AWAKENING and GRACE AWAKENING POWER. She has a fine penchant for the unexpected and knows the art of setting up what appears to be a straightforward novel only to supply a kicker of a surprise in the end.
Highschool. That period of our lives when dispositions are solidified and dreams are formed - and/or disrupted. It is a period of group identity and thought, a time for progression to adulthood, and opening of the door to the world outside the school grounds. Shawn knows this arena well and her excellent story satirizes the extremes with great success.
We are offered both the flavor of the school and the personality of Mr. Edwards form page one – ‘Dr. Andrew Scott loved coming into the school in August. He stepped into the gleaming corridors, fresh with the scent of floor wax, and sniffed deeply. Ah. The scent of a new year rife with possibility. He loved being the principal of Canterbury High. He had a quite amazing staff, committed to their jobs and the students. It was wonderful each August to sit alone in the office, planning the year. He enjoyed the solitude of it, the quiet before the clamour of the student body. Today he was preparing to interview a new art teacher. He walked into the office to find someone was already there; he could hear the rhythmic murmuring of the photocopier. He sighed and opened the copy room door. He looked in, certain whom he’d find there. “Good morning, Andrew,” said Norton Edwards, glancing up at him. “Have a good summer?” Dr. Scott nodded. It was nearly thirty degrees outside, but Edwards was wearing wool pants, a button up shirt, and a bow tie. “You’re here early.” As expected. The head of the English department was a remarkably diligent educator. “Yes, I like to get my copying done before anyone else can monopolize the machine,” Edwards said with a smile. “I know,” sighed Scott. “You use up the entire English department’s copy budget by yourself, before the year has even started.” Edwards tittered. Scott didn’t know whether Edwards was oblivious or if he just didn’t [care} about anyone else in the building. Did Edwards think he was joking? “You should be careful, Norton. You [anger] enough people, you never know what could happen.” Edwards chuckled again. “Don’t be silly, Andrew. I’m adored here. My English students have the highest scores on all the tests. Their scores at university are significantly higher than average. People love that.” Scott sighed and backed out of the copy room. It was sad, but true. No matter how irritating he was with the other staff, Edwards definitely knew his job.’
And guess what is in store – ‘Mr. Edwards is the teacher that everyone loves to hate - the students, the parents, the support staff - even the other teachers wish he would just die. The good news? Mr. Edwards is finally being forced to retire, and the staff of Canterbury High are ready to rejoice. The only real question is, will they let him survive long enough to get to the party?’ To offer more would be a spoiler, the last thing a mystery book needs!
Shawn Bird has a gift and she uses it well. Among Young Adult authors she rises to the top of the list. Recommended.
Canadian author Shawn Bird earned her BA in English from Athabasca University and her Med in curriculum form the University of British Columbia and is a high school English teacher, an author, and a poet in the beautiful Shuswap region of British Columbia. She has published the YA novel series Grace Awakening and several books of poetry. In her spare time, she trick trains her talented miniature poodle, plays the harp, and serves her community with Shuswap Rotary Club. MURDERING MR. EDWARDS is her third Young Adult novel – the others being GRACE AWAKENING and GRACE AWAKENING POWER. She has a fine penchant for the unexpected and knows the art of setting up what appears to be a straightforward novel only to supply a kicker of a surprise in the end.
Highschool. That period of our lives when dispositions are solidified and dreams are formed - and/or disrupted. It is a period of group identity and thought, a time for progression to adulthood, and opening of the door to the world outside the school grounds. Shawn knows this arena well and her excellent story satirizes the extremes with great success.
We are offered both the flavor of the school and the personality of Mr. Edwards form page one – ‘Dr. Andrew Scott loved coming into the school in August. He stepped into the gleaming corridors, fresh with the scent of floor wax, and sniffed deeply. Ah. The scent of a new year rife with possibility. He loved being the principal of Canterbury High. He had a quite amazing staff, committed to their jobs and the students. It was wonderful each August to sit alone in the office, planning the year. He enjoyed the solitude of it, the quiet before the clamour of the student body. Today he was preparing to interview a new art teacher. He walked into the office to find someone was already there; he could hear the rhythmic murmuring of the photocopier. He sighed and opened the copy room door. He looked in, certain whom he’d find there. “Good morning, Andrew,” said Norton Edwards, glancing up at him. “Have a good summer?” Dr. Scott nodded. It was nearly thirty degrees outside, but Edwards was wearing wool pants, a button up shirt, and a bow tie. “You’re here early.” As expected. The head of the English department was a remarkably diligent educator. “Yes, I like to get my copying done before anyone else can monopolize the machine,” Edwards said with a smile. “I know,” sighed Scott. “You use up the entire English department’s copy budget by yourself, before the year has even started.” Edwards tittered. Scott didn’t know whether Edwards was oblivious or if he just didn’t [care} about anyone else in the building. Did Edwards think he was joking? “You should be careful, Norton. You [anger] enough people, you never know what could happen.” Edwards chuckled again. “Don’t be silly, Andrew. I’m adored here. My English students have the highest scores on all the tests. Their scores at university are significantly higher than average. People love that.” Scott sighed and backed out of the copy room. It was sad, but true. No matter how irritating he was with the other staff, Edwards definitely knew his job.’
And guess what is in store – ‘Mr. Edwards is the teacher that everyone loves to hate - the students, the parents, the support staff - even the other teachers wish he would just die. The good news? Mr. Edwards is finally being forced to retire, and the staff of Canterbury High are ready to rejoice. The only real question is, will they let him survive long enough to get to the party?’ To offer more would be a spoiler, the last thing a mystery book needs!
Shawn Bird has a gift and she uses it well. Among Young Adult authors she rises to the top of the list. Recommended.
March 12, 2018
Advance Copy Review:
I loved this mystery by Shawn L. Bird! I plan to get a few for retiring friends so they remember how much they enjoy us, even the English teachers :) This novella is the perfect first read for a summer. Or a Saturday after a tough week at work. Ms. Bird creates fun action scenes and masters the voices of her various characters, people readers who teach will easily recognize from their own schools. I'd love to work with the teachers at Canterbury High, with the exception of Mr. Edwards, of course!
I loved this mystery by Shawn L. Bird! I plan to get a few for retiring friends so they remember how much they enjoy us, even the English teachers :) This novella is the perfect first read for a summer. Or a Saturday after a tough week at work. Ms. Bird creates fun action scenes and masters the voices of her various characters, people readers who teach will easily recognize from their own schools. I'd love to work with the teachers at Canterbury High, with the exception of Mr. Edwards, of course!
April 2, 2018
I received an Advance Reading Copy in exchange for an honest review.
A perfect book to read in the depths of winter, Murdering Mr. Edwards, is a light hearted funny book with a touch of murder to equal the darkness of winter . Reminiscent of Alexander McAll Smith's professor von Igelfeld series, Bird gives us an equally annoying protagonist whose colleagues are eager to rid themselves of. If you enjoyed Smith's series you will find equal pleasure in this book of short tales where teachers take pleasure in killing the annoying Mr. Edwards.
April 1, 2018
I was given the opportunity to read this book advance copy over spring break, and I was glad I did! There is a subtle dark humour that made me giggle a couple of times. There is suspense and mystery surrounding the story that keeps you intrigued the whole way through, ending with a twist that caught me by surprise. I would like to see a sequel of some sort to this book!
October 27, 2023
This was a fun read that was amazingly innovative in my opinion. You know how sometimes you answer (in your mind, of course!) the question of what you would do to your nemesis if you had the opportunity? Well, here are nine creative replies actually put into motion!
The setting is a high school with a very unlikeable English teacher, Mr Norton Edwards. Many of the other teaching and non teaching staff members have suffered his attitude and taunts and are particularly angered by his misogyny and arrogance. Each of them finds their own way of getting back at him based on their own area of expertise and the special charms they know he will find irresistible.
The way they use their own subject knowledge in their plans is very interesting, be it chemicals or stage props by the drama teacher or baking ingredients by the home economics teacher. They all have their axe to grind and they are going to get their vengeance.
The victim of their scheming is so cantankerous and insufferable that you laugh along with them as he is lured into their traps! I found the Physics teacher's tale a cut above the rest for the way it incorporated the principles of what he taught his students and enjoyed that the most.
The setting is a high school with a very unlikeable English teacher, Mr Norton Edwards. Many of the other teaching and non teaching staff members have suffered his attitude and taunts and are particularly angered by his misogyny and arrogance. Each of them finds their own way of getting back at him based on their own area of expertise and the special charms they know he will find irresistible.
The way they use their own subject knowledge in their plans is very interesting, be it chemicals or stage props by the drama teacher or baking ingredients by the home economics teacher. They all have their axe to grind and they are going to get their vengeance.
The victim of their scheming is so cantankerous and insufferable that you laugh along with them as he is lured into their traps! I found the Physics teacher's tale a cut above the rest for the way it incorporated the principles of what he taught his students and enjoyed that the most.
August 31, 2018
Highly enjoyable. Especially if you're married to a teacher. ;o)
November 10, 2018
This quirky little book captured my attention from start to finish and never once did I feel sorry for the diabolical Mr. Edwards.
Books win or lose me on their dialogue and Shawn can definitely write a good conversation. I was at a book launch for this where she read the French teacher's tale with a great accent. That's what I heard every time Ms. Marchand spoke in the book.
Highly recommend!
Books win or lose me on their dialogue and Shawn can definitely write a good conversation. I was at a book launch for this where she read the French teacher's tale with a great accent. That's what I heard every time Ms. Marchand spoke in the book.
Highly recommend!
December 11, 2023
Review of the audiobook version, reprinted from The Ottawa Review of Books, April 15, 2023
Murdering Mr. Edwards has been sitting on my To Be Read pile for a while as an ebook, but I recently found there is an audiobook version, so I re-bought it in that format. I probably listen to books as often as read them these days. It is not just that one can listen on long drives or at night in bed when too tired to read, but that one can listen whilst doing household chores. That last is life-changing because audiobooks make one a better spouse, parent, or housemate. Instead of thinking, “Who left this mess in the sink?” or “Why am I always the one cleaning up after the dog?!” one is too busy focusing on the mystery or adventure, or laughing at the comedy, to resent how unfair and annoying chores are. Laughter is so much better for relationships than contemplating murder.
Most effective, of course, is laughing at others contemplating murder. Shawn Bird’s Murdering Mr. Edwards is wincingly satisfying as various colleagues each plot their separate devious end to the insufferable Chair of the English Department. I don’t care where you went to high school, every school has at least one Mr. Edwards (though not always the English Chair, of course) and you may be surprised to learn it is not just the students who hate that guy.
Bird—herself an outstanding English teacher—polled her staff colleagues on how they would go about committing murder at school and the result is a collection of ingenious scenarios with both the motives and the murderous plots laid out in convincing detail. Indeed, I am beginning to think the police should reopen as suspicious any cases of teachers found dead in a school after hours because . . . um, yeah.
The stories are each amusing and the overall arc holding the 12 tales together is completely satisfying. I greatly admire how Bird managed to create a series of stories that can each stand on their own and yet fit smoothly together to create a whole greater even than the parts. I laughed out loud, for example, when the caretaker's story tied the first eight stories together in a completely unexpected way. The stories just kept getting better and better.
Bird obviously had a blast writing these and the listener gets to share that joy, but to fully appreciate all the nuances, it helps to hear her read it. Humour is often best performed by the originator and Bird provides an authentic and convincing voice when taking on the persona of her various female protagonists, as each in turn decides to end the detestable Mr. Edwards. Professional actor Chris Humphreys is equally wonderful reading the stories of the male teachers . . . and his voice characterization of Mr. Edwards is absolutely definitive.
It is also rare to find a book which so accurately captures—if very slightly exaggerated—the interpersonal politics of every school staffroom. As someone who’s day job took him into dozens of school staff rooms across the province every year, I can attest that Bird’s depiction really resonates. If you ever wondered as a student what went on behind the staffroom door, this is the book for you; and if you number any teachers among your friends, this would make a great cathartic gift for them.
I recommend Murdering Mr. Edwards in any format, but consider trying the audiobook (a reasonable $5.99US on Chirp) to see whether that helps make chores less burdensome.
Lintusen Press is Bird’s own imprint, but has recently expanded to include themed anthologies featuring other Canadian authors (Finnian Burnett, Halli Reed, Lee F. Patrick, Nancy Kilpatrick, etc.) worth exploring.
Murdering Mr. Edwards has been sitting on my To Be Read pile for a while as an ebook, but I recently found there is an audiobook version, so I re-bought it in that format. I probably listen to books as often as read them these days. It is not just that one can listen on long drives or at night in bed when too tired to read, but that one can listen whilst doing household chores. That last is life-changing because audiobooks make one a better spouse, parent, or housemate. Instead of thinking, “Who left this mess in the sink?” or “Why am I always the one cleaning up after the dog?!” one is too busy focusing on the mystery or adventure, or laughing at the comedy, to resent how unfair and annoying chores are. Laughter is so much better for relationships than contemplating murder.
Most effective, of course, is laughing at others contemplating murder. Shawn Bird’s Murdering Mr. Edwards is wincingly satisfying as various colleagues each plot their separate devious end to the insufferable Chair of the English Department. I don’t care where you went to high school, every school has at least one Mr. Edwards (though not always the English Chair, of course) and you may be surprised to learn it is not just the students who hate that guy.
Bird—herself an outstanding English teacher—polled her staff colleagues on how they would go about committing murder at school and the result is a collection of ingenious scenarios with both the motives and the murderous plots laid out in convincing detail. Indeed, I am beginning to think the police should reopen as suspicious any cases of teachers found dead in a school after hours because . . . um, yeah.
The stories are each amusing and the overall arc holding the 12 tales together is completely satisfying. I greatly admire how Bird managed to create a series of stories that can each stand on their own and yet fit smoothly together to create a whole greater even than the parts. I laughed out loud, for example, when the caretaker's story tied the first eight stories together in a completely unexpected way. The stories just kept getting better and better.
Bird obviously had a blast writing these and the listener gets to share that joy, but to fully appreciate all the nuances, it helps to hear her read it. Humour is often best performed by the originator and Bird provides an authentic and convincing voice when taking on the persona of her various female protagonists, as each in turn decides to end the detestable Mr. Edwards. Professional actor Chris Humphreys is equally wonderful reading the stories of the male teachers . . . and his voice characterization of Mr. Edwards is absolutely definitive.
It is also rare to find a book which so accurately captures—if very slightly exaggerated—the interpersonal politics of every school staffroom. As someone who’s day job took him into dozens of school staff rooms across the province every year, I can attest that Bird’s depiction really resonates. If you ever wondered as a student what went on behind the staffroom door, this is the book for you; and if you number any teachers among your friends, this would make a great cathartic gift for them.
I recommend Murdering Mr. Edwards in any format, but consider trying the audiobook (a reasonable $5.99US on Chirp) to see whether that helps make chores less burdensome.
Lintusen Press is Bird’s own imprint, but has recently expanded to include themed anthologies featuring other Canadian authors (Finnian Burnett, Halli Reed, Lee F. Patrick, Nancy Kilpatrick, etc.) worth exploring.
January 12, 2023
Shawn L. Bird took me on a literary trip back to high school and I enjoyed every minute!
It was a fun and clever book interspersed with just the right about of comedy and macabre. Mr. Edwards is an obnoxious and deservedly despised character. I thoroughly delighted in listening to the methods and motives of each character as they took their revenge on the detestable English teacher.
My favourites were the secretary’s, French teacher’s and the Home Ec teacher’s!
I am glad I listened to the audiobook! The voice actors added so much dimension to each character as they moved through each character’s point of view that I visualized the story as though it were taking place on the stage. This book really would make an excellent play!
The book has such a unique structure. Each dark fantasy naturally flows into the next and ties the relationship of each colleague together. I was so absorbed by the story that I felt like I was part of the staff… and I couldn’t help but wonder how I would murder Mr. Edwards…
It was a fun and clever book interspersed with just the right about of comedy and macabre. Mr. Edwards is an obnoxious and deservedly despised character. I thoroughly delighted in listening to the methods and motives of each character as they took their revenge on the detestable English teacher.
My favourites were the secretary’s, French teacher’s and the Home Ec teacher’s!
I am glad I listened to the audiobook! The voice actors added so much dimension to each character as they moved through each character’s point of view that I visualized the story as though it were taking place on the stage. This book really would make an excellent play!
The book has such a unique structure. Each dark fantasy naturally flows into the next and ties the relationship of each colleague together. I was so absorbed by the story that I felt like I was part of the staff… and I couldn’t help but wonder how I would murder Mr. Edwards…
May 10, 2018
Fiction - mystery
Well written contempory "dark comedy" concerning the attempts of teachers, and staff of a high school to murder the English teacher. He is an obnoxious individual who makes life a misery for the others. Mr. Edwards is totally oblivious to the pain and anger he causes.
Each chapter is devoted to the attempts on his life by a different teacher, leaving you to wonder who is successful. Every attempt is ingenious, and often hilarious.
This is a quick, entertaining read with a surprising ending.
Well written contempory "dark comedy" concerning the attempts of teachers, and staff of a high school to murder the English teacher. He is an obnoxious individual who makes life a misery for the others. Mr. Edwards is totally oblivious to the pain and anger he causes.
Each chapter is devoted to the attempts on his life by a different teacher, leaving you to wonder who is successful. Every attempt is ingenious, and often hilarious.
This is a quick, entertaining read with a surprising ending.
February 24, 2019
A quick and enjoyable read. I think any of us can relate to having to deal with that one co-worker, and finding creative ways to hide the body. It does make you question what your teachers had going through their minds! Some clever lines that will make you giggle, give this one a go! My biggest issue was the font and it's size. I really struggled with it, and others may as well.
My dad was a custodian for 20 years in the school district and no one bought him flowers for cleaning up vomit (or washing teacher's dishes!). Will have to ask him how we would be rid of Mr. Edwards...
My dad was a custodian for 20 years in the school district and no one bought him flowers for cleaning up vomit (or washing teacher's dishes!). Will have to ask him how we would be rid of Mr. Edwards...
December 9, 2022
A collection of short stories centered on the premise of murdering Mr. Edwards, the head of the English department, with each chapter offering a different scenario in which one of the other teachers in the school murders him. A super quick, quirky read packed full of devious humour and entertaining murder scenarios. I found myself laughing aloud at many parts and rooting for Mr. Edwards' untimely demise along with the characters. My favourite was The Chemistry Teacher's Tale. Would make a perfect gift for a teacher!
September 4, 2018
Mr. Edwards is an obnoxious English teacher at a high school. While the students love him, his co-workers do not. Each chapter is told from the perspective of several of these co-workers and how they would scheme to 'do him in'!
Very cute idea and I quite enjoyed reading it.
My only suggestion is for the editor to please use a larger font the next time. The very small print made it difficult to read at times.
Very cute idea and I quite enjoyed reading it.
My only suggestion is for the editor to please use a larger font the next time. The very small print made it difficult to read at times.
September 10, 2018
Fun novella about a high school's staff and teachers trying to off the asshole English teacher. While I'm not sure I buy that Mr. Edwards was such a casanova, these were pretty entertaining and a breezy read. My favorite was the "Computer Tech's Tale". (It reads aloud quite well, in case you're wondering.) Haven't we all had problems with password restrictions and guidelines??
October 10, 2018
I laughed out loud at these dark short stories.
May 30, 2019
Delightful!!!
Beautiful writing. Intriguing. Intellectual. Nail biting. Hilarious.
This book was an absolute delight!! What a unique twist on a much done theme. Unique, I say! I was in stitches, I was sitting on the edge of my seat, and I was absolutely pulled in to every one of the many points of view on how and why this Mr. Edwards should die. Loved the whole book !!!
Beautiful writing. Intriguing. Intellectual. Nail biting. Hilarious.
This book was an absolute delight!! What a unique twist on a much done theme. Unique, I say! I was in stitches, I was sitting on the edge of my seat, and I was absolutely pulled in to every one of the many points of view on how and why this Mr. Edwards should die. Loved the whole book !!!
December 13, 2020
Loved the idea that everyone has a version where they take Mr Edwards out. Little too much swearing which limits who I can share this with.
Good quick beach re=read
Good quick beach re=read
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews