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Okay Fine Whatever Lib/E: The Year I Went from Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things
The story of one chronically anxious woman's hilarious year-long quest to become braver by seeking out the kinds of experiences she has spent her life avoiding.
For most of her life, and even during her years as the host of a popular radio show, Courtenay Hameister lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety. She fretted about everything. Her age. Her size. Her romantic prospects. How likely it was that she would get hit by a bus on the way home.
Until a couple years ago, when, in her mid-forties, she decided to fight back against her debilitating anxieties by spending a year doing little things that scared her-things that the average person might consider doing for a half second before deciding: nope.
Things like: attending a fellatio class. She did that. She also spent an afternoon in a sensory deprivation tank, got (legally) high in the middle of a workday, had a session with a professional cuddler, braved twenty-eight first dates, and-perhaps scariest of all-actually met someone who might possibly appreciate her for who she is.
Refreshing, relatable, and pee-your-pants funny, Okay Fine Whatever is Courtenay's hold-nothing-back account of her adventures on the front lines of Mere Human Woman vs. Fear, reminding us that even the tiniest amount of bravery is still bravery and that no matter who you are, it's possible to fight complacency and become bold, or at least bold-ish, a little at a time.
For most of her life, and even during her years as the host of a popular radio show, Courtenay Hameister lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety. She fretted about everything. Her age. Her size. Her romantic prospects. How likely it was that she would get hit by a bus on the way home.
Until a couple years ago, when, in her mid-forties, she decided to fight back against her debilitating anxieties by spending a year doing little things that scared her-things that the average person might consider doing for a half second before deciding: nope.
Things like: attending a fellatio class. She did that. She also spent an afternoon in a sensory deprivation tank, got (legally) high in the middle of a workday, had a session with a professional cuddler, braved twenty-eight first dates, and-perhaps scariest of all-actually met someone who might possibly appreciate her for who she is.
Refreshing, relatable, and pee-your-pants funny, Okay Fine Whatever is Courtenay's hold-nothing-back account of her adventures on the front lines of Mere Human Woman vs. Fear, reminding us that even the tiniest amount of bravery is still bravery and that no matter who you are, it's possible to fight complacency and become bold, or at least bold-ish, a little at a time.
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First published July 31, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 315 reviews
November 14, 2018
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Yet another selection that I didn’t even manage to mark as currently reading – or listening to, as was the case here. Fail!
This was a recommendation from the library software and, even though it wasn’t great for me, it did pretty much fit what I gravitate toward for my listening pleasure. The problem I have with some of these is my unfamiliarity with the authors. Thus was the case with Okay, Fine, Whatever. I was intrigued by the idea of a middle-aged woman trying things that took her out of her comfort zone because I am a middle-aged woman who is terrified by the idea of being taken out of my comfort zone. I appreciated her willingness to talk about her anxiety and (hopefully) make people understand that while people like me might be assholes, our inability to be the life of the party is not always asshole-based. I also liked that she wasn’t going to do crazy stuff like jumping out of airplanes or climbing a mountain. Buuuuuuut (you knew that was coming, right?) I thought I was going to be getting a little more. I had never heard of Courtenay Hameister before or her radio show Live Wire (they still do radio shows? Whodathunk it.) and from the cover alone I thought I would at least be getting a little . . . . .
Sadly what had a promising start soon devolved into “look, even chubby 40-somethings can get a boyfriend if they try real hard.” There was a LOT of sex stuff in this – fellatio class, going to a sex club, having sex with polyamorous dudes. Obviously I am a lover of both the sexytimes books as well as the funny memoir, but not in this case. Also, dear publishers, be careful when you tell someone a book is “pee your pants funny.” Trust me, at 40+ and after birthing some chillins it ain’t supah hard to get me to take a wee in my drawers – this one didn’t even come close.
Yet another selection that I didn’t even manage to mark as currently reading – or listening to, as was the case here. Fail!
This was a recommendation from the library software and, even though it wasn’t great for me, it did pretty much fit what I gravitate toward for my listening pleasure. The problem I have with some of these is my unfamiliarity with the authors. Thus was the case with Okay, Fine, Whatever. I was intrigued by the idea of a middle-aged woman trying things that took her out of her comfort zone because I am a middle-aged woman who is terrified by the idea of being taken out of my comfort zone. I appreciated her willingness to talk about her anxiety and (hopefully) make people understand that while people like me might be assholes, our inability to be the life of the party is not always asshole-based. I also liked that she wasn’t going to do crazy stuff like jumping out of airplanes or climbing a mountain. Buuuuuuut (you knew that was coming, right?) I thought I was going to be getting a little more. I had never heard of Courtenay Hameister before or her radio show Live Wire (they still do radio shows? Whodathunk it.) and from the cover alone I thought I would at least be getting a little . . . . .
Sadly what had a promising start soon devolved into “look, even chubby 40-somethings can get a boyfriend if they try real hard.” There was a LOT of sex stuff in this – fellatio class, going to a sex club, having sex with polyamorous dudes. Obviously I am a lover of both the sexytimes books as well as the funny memoir, but not in this case. Also, dear publishers, be careful when you tell someone a book is “pee your pants funny.” Trust me, at 40+ and after birthing some chillins it ain’t supah hard to get me to take a wee in my drawers – this one didn’t even come close.
August 27, 2018
Hameister is funny and knows her way around an essay. I think the 2 stars are for content. I thought this book would be more interesting- that she would be diving into multiple areas that are difficult for someone living with the constant hum of anxiety. Instead, she starts dating through an ap, and almosts the whole book is about her different dates and her poor self image. The daring things she does are related to finding a man and giving herself permission to try fringe sexual experiences. This was the only book I had on a long car trip, so I stayed with it. She's amusing, so I didn't hate it, but I was bored and disappointed.
February 10, 2019
Former radio show host
Courtenay Hameister has struggled with generalized anxiety disorder all her life. She has written a deeply personal, laugh out loud humorous account of the year she undertook a project of her own making in order to rewire her anxious brain. She selected some outlandish participatory experiences she felt would target her various hang ups such as her weight and body issues, her lack of a romantic life and intimacy, etc. She confronts head on the uncomfortable, embarrassing situations and feelings she had spent her whole life avoiding.
The audiobook narration is excellent, but I am waiting for the ebook in order to take a closer look at the written word and not miss a thing. She does by her own admission, ‘cuss like a sailor’ and most of her chosen activities are highly unconventional. Yet, her honesty, humor and courage in confronting her limitations is admirable.
Courtenay Hameister has struggled with generalized anxiety disorder all her life. She has written a deeply personal, laugh out loud humorous account of the year she undertook a project of her own making in order to rewire her anxious brain. She selected some outlandish participatory experiences she felt would target her various hang ups such as her weight and body issues, her lack of a romantic life and intimacy, etc. She confronts head on the uncomfortable, embarrassing situations and feelings she had spent her whole life avoiding.
The audiobook narration is excellent, but I am waiting for the ebook in order to take a closer look at the written word and not miss a thing. She does by her own admission, ‘cuss like a sailor’ and most of her chosen activities are highly unconventional. Yet, her honesty, humor and courage in confronting her limitations is admirable.
September 6, 2018
Who knew anxiety could be so funny? Okay, Fine, Whatever is my feel-good memoir of the year. Hameister’s chronicle of her efforts to be brave, try new things, and push her own boundaries makes for a life-affirming reading experience, and going with the audio version is a no-brainer since she’s spent most of her career in public radio. A big chunk of the book is spent on Hameister’s misadventures in sex and dating, so be warned if polyamory and sex clubs are too eyebrow-raising for you, but I really enjoyed reading about a single woman in her forties with no children living a full and rich life, navigating her career and circle of friends. It made me think about how rarely women that age are featured at all, especially outside the context of marriage and parenting. And as a gal with anxiety demons of her own, I related super hard and was rooting for her all the way.
April 12, 2018
This book was a hilarious and fun read!
I am so glad this was my first non-fiction read of 2018. I needed to read something by someone I could relate to and, as a girl who finds humor in life while dealing with mental illness, I found that in this book.
Courtenay did an amazing job of making me laugh and I really enjoyed the underlying message in this book. To me, that message was the idea that you can’t let your anxiety disorder hold you back from living an incredibly adventurous life. It’s so easy to say no to experiences, but it’s so much more fun to say “yes”! Plus, you can write a book about it when you’re done... 😉
I really enjoyed this book and I can’t wait for others to read it when it is released in July!
Thank you to Little Brown for sending me an advanced copy in exchange for an unbiased review!
I am so glad this was my first non-fiction read of 2018. I needed to read something by someone I could relate to and, as a girl who finds humor in life while dealing with mental illness, I found that in this book.
Courtenay did an amazing job of making me laugh and I really enjoyed the underlying message in this book. To me, that message was the idea that you can’t let your anxiety disorder hold you back from living an incredibly adventurous life. It’s so easy to say no to experiences, but it’s so much more fun to say “yes”! Plus, you can write a book about it when you’re done... 😉
I really enjoyed this book and I can’t wait for others to read it when it is released in July!
Thank you to Little Brown for sending me an advanced copy in exchange for an unbiased review!
September 29, 2018
I read Hameister’s book in the hope that I’d find humor and a little inspiration to overcome my own anxiety. Alas, once again misled by a title. Not that she wasn’t anxious, or didn’t challenge herself to overcome fear. And she is very funny. But, with few exceptions, Hameister’s challenges were of the sexual variety. She did make me laugh, but I eventually got bored with the theme.
March 7, 2019
What a disappointment. The cover promises a journey Hameister took to confront all things that scared her. Instead, it's just a diary of her and her dating world, along with quirky sex stuff. After a while, it became, "Oh, great, she's going to talk about some other failed romance with some weird Portlandia character."
The first chapter showed promise. She writes about spending time in a water chamber to overcome her fear of confined spaces. Hameister does write well and that first chapter was interesting. But then, she wrote about getting on a dating website and away we go. Dating guys with "open marriages," going to bondage clubs, going to weird sex act clubs, going to a meeting to learn how to .. uh... you know. Go ask Colonel Angus of the Civil War era for that one. It became so bogged down, one-dimensional that the story and her fears were forgotten. I could write a book about confronting my fear of her stories by reading them.
Make no mistake, though, Hameister is a good writer. I'm sure I'd enjoy other stuff she's written more so if it weren't the same. Seems like she was trying to justify her self shame and her issues of her weight by re-affirming that, yes, she gets lots of dates and has lots of sex. Good for her. I just don't want to spend a lot of time reading about it. It was like if Chelsea Handler and Cheryl Strayed had a love child, sent it to a strip club and told it to write all its personal feelings.
The first chapter showed promise. She writes about spending time in a water chamber to overcome her fear of confined spaces. Hameister does write well and that first chapter was interesting. But then, she wrote about getting on a dating website and away we go. Dating guys with "open marriages," going to bondage clubs, going to weird sex act clubs, going to a meeting to learn how to .. uh... you know. Go ask Colonel Angus of the Civil War era for that one. It became so bogged down, one-dimensional that the story and her fears were forgotten. I could write a book about confronting my fear of her stories by reading them.
Make no mistake, though, Hameister is a good writer. I'm sure I'd enjoy other stuff she's written more so if it weren't the same. Seems like she was trying to justify her self shame and her issues of her weight by re-affirming that, yes, she gets lots of dates and has lots of sex. Good for her. I just don't want to spend a lot of time reading about it. It was like if Chelsea Handler and Cheryl Strayed had a love child, sent it to a strip club and told it to write all its personal feelings.
July 26, 2018
Now I want to be Courtenay's friend
July 15, 2018
Laugh-out loud funny, clever and well written - yes it's poignant and touching but also irreverent and unexpected. I really enjoyed this book! And I learned some things about personal perspective, the human condition and how we all move through the world with some level of trepidation and anxiety - but that it doesn't have to stop us from reaching the edges of our comfort zone and experiencing moments of awe - especially if we can do it all with a kick-ass sense of humor!
June 20, 2022
Maybe like 2.75…it was an enjoyable and easy read! It wasn’t laugh out loud funny as the cover suggests, but it was fun and it all took place in Portland and who doesn’t love reading a book with places you know!! Low rating is because there wasn’t necessarily a point to this book I feel like?? Not that there needs to be a super solid point to media for it to be produced (I’m trying to get better at remembering that for movies too), but it ended up just kinda being a diary mostly of her dating and sex life which got a little old but of course I kept reading because I’m nosey and want to know things about people even when I have no idea who they are. I bet this book would have hit different if I had any idea who Hameister was… I picked up this book at Powell’s once because I was looking for a light hearted read so I guess it served its purpose. As someone with anxiety about a lot of things, it was kinda funny to see her talk about ridiculous anxieties that I also have. I think she was going for a “you can help your anxiety by forcing yourself to step out of your comfort zone and maybe you can even make a game of it” vibe but it did not make me want to do that…
August 26, 2018
Thank you so much to Little Brown and Company for providing my free copy - all opinions are my own.
This is a fun, intelligent memoir that motivates you to face your fears. Former host of NPR’s Live Wire, Courtenay Hameister, suffered a severe panic attack in 2013 so she set off on a new adventure by deciding to face her fears and document each experience with absolute candor and unadulterated humor. She struggles with generalized anxiety disorder, along with obsessive-compulsive disorder so you can imagine how interesting this memoir is. Over the course of a year, she takes on all types of uncomfortable scenarios such as time in a sensory deprivation tank, a visit to a sex club, dabbles in a polyamorous lifestyle, sees a professional cuddler (my worst nightmare), partakes in a little pot smoking that ends badly, and much more. She tackles online dating, body image issues (ouch the Brazilian wax), and everything in between. And she does it so well!
Her fears, anxiety, and increased heart rate all transfer to the page vividly - you feel it all. Even though this journey is about facing her fears, I also found it to be very brave as every page carries so much weight to it but with a great amount of sharp wit. She’s raw, honest, and shows a tremendous amount of vulnerability. OKAY FINE WHATEVER is such a unique, clever, and compelling memoir that you will breeze right through. It is a personal account of learning to say yes instead of no to life’s experiences.
This is a fun, intelligent memoir that motivates you to face your fears. Former host of NPR’s Live Wire, Courtenay Hameister, suffered a severe panic attack in 2013 so she set off on a new adventure by deciding to face her fears and document each experience with absolute candor and unadulterated humor. She struggles with generalized anxiety disorder, along with obsessive-compulsive disorder so you can imagine how interesting this memoir is. Over the course of a year, she takes on all types of uncomfortable scenarios such as time in a sensory deprivation tank, a visit to a sex club, dabbles in a polyamorous lifestyle, sees a professional cuddler (my worst nightmare), partakes in a little pot smoking that ends badly, and much more. She tackles online dating, body image issues (ouch the Brazilian wax), and everything in between. And she does it so well!
Her fears, anxiety, and increased heart rate all transfer to the page vividly - you feel it all. Even though this journey is about facing her fears, I also found it to be very brave as every page carries so much weight to it but with a great amount of sharp wit. She’s raw, honest, and shows a tremendous amount of vulnerability. OKAY FINE WHATEVER is such a unique, clever, and compelling memoir that you will breeze right through. It is a personal account of learning to say yes instead of no to life’s experiences.
January 27, 2019
I liked the premise of this book a lot more than I enjoyed the execution. Courtenay Hameister has terrible anxiety; as someone who also has a generalized anxiety disorder, I was interested in how she tackled her panic attacks. But... this turned into a book about dating. And while I too have a number of cringe-worthy dating stories, based on the blurb I wasn't expecting the a book of essays that could have been the plot to the 40-Year-Old-Virgin. She's a good writer, but I don't know if I would recommend to others.
March 29, 2019
Hameister is the anti-me. She has epic anxiety, thinks everyone is looking at/judging her, fakes orgasms, doesn't like going to sex clubs, is emphatically not poly, doesn't like her body... I could go on. I stuck with this because we share a town, and it was fascinating to look at things I love through the eyes of someone who is repelled by them. I do feel like I need a shower after reading so much self-hatred and harsh judgement directed at self and others. Not my cuppa.
July 29, 2019
enjoyed. this book made me laugh a lot and usually books written by funny people or people trying to be funny dont make me lol but i actually lol'd a lot during the reading of this book. could relate to a handful of things in here and i also didnt relate to a lot of things in this book but she makes it all relateable. i could have a decent coffee date with this lady. i think she would enjoy me.
February 13, 2019
The premise of this memoir is that Courtenay, who suffers with general anxiety disorder, as she reaches 40, decides to spend a year undertaking events that she ordinarily would avoid. Her goal (beyond using these adventures as a year-long newspaper column) is to open herself up - particularly, to romance, and to overcome low body esteem issues. I loved this concept, and expected a book of stories of snake-handling, bungee-jumping, chile cooking lessons, etc., etc., but I was truly disappointed in what I got.
First there is a lot of background about how she has been suffering through the job of hosting a live NPR variety show due to her anxiety disorder which just made me amazed that a person with anxiety issues, body shame, and OCD would even accept a job in which she presents herself, on stage in front of 750 people each week, and deals with the obvious perils of live performance. Once we are past that, the author starts her "OK, Fine. Whatever" year by going to a sensory deprivation tank session (did I mention her claustrophobia?). This chapter set me up for thinking that this book would be pretty good - I have never done this and her descriptions and explanations were just what I wanted - letting me experience things through her. But, unfortunately, after that chapter, hardly any of the following chapters lived up to this promise. The experiences were overwhelmingly sexual - a fellatio class, a visit to a strip bar, a visit to a sex club, experimenting with S & M (nope, not in the sex club - this gets a separate chapter), dating a polyamorous man, which may float your boat, but it wasn't what I wanted from this book. Or they were events that I just didn't care about - visiting a professional cuddler, trying some new marijuana. Or they were events that did not seem to me to be out of your comfort zone events - an MRI, a water aerobics course, peeing on the floor of her new beau's kitchen - but were things that just seemed to happen to the author during the year. Interspersed with these were chapters about her dating travails....sigh....but at least that plot line had a happy ending.
I just couldn't connect with the author. By the end of the book, I did not even want to.
First there is a lot of background about how she has been suffering through the job of hosting a live NPR variety show due to her anxiety disorder which just made me amazed that a person with anxiety issues, body shame, and OCD would even accept a job in which she presents herself, on stage in front of 750 people each week, and deals with the obvious perils of live performance. Once we are past that, the author starts her "OK, Fine. Whatever" year by going to a sensory deprivation tank session (did I mention her claustrophobia?). This chapter set me up for thinking that this book would be pretty good - I have never done this and her descriptions and explanations were just what I wanted - letting me experience things through her. But, unfortunately, after that chapter, hardly any of the following chapters lived up to this promise. The experiences were overwhelmingly sexual - a fellatio class, a visit to a strip bar, a visit to a sex club, experimenting with S & M (nope, not in the sex club - this gets a separate chapter), dating a polyamorous man, which may float your boat, but it wasn't what I wanted from this book. Or they were events that I just didn't care about - visiting a professional cuddler, trying some new marijuana. Or they were events that did not seem to me to be out of your comfort zone events - an MRI, a water aerobics course, peeing on the floor of her new beau's kitchen - but were things that just seemed to happen to the author during the year. Interspersed with these were chapters about her dating travails....sigh....but at least that plot line had a happy ending.
I just couldn't connect with the author. By the end of the book, I did not even want to.
August 2, 2018
From the opening page in 'Okay, Fine, Whatever...' you can immediately sense Courtenay Hameister's spirit and humor. There are several crossed-out, discarded titles on one of the first pages of the book that serve as a unique way to introduce her book. You can open this book to pretty much any page and immediately find something damned funny.
This is an easy, fun read. As someone who has struggled with some of the insecurities Hameister writes about (food, body image, intimacy, change), I could relate to her humorous take on life. Her mental asides in the middle of some PRETTY uncomfortable situations make normally devastating situations lough-out-loud funny.
Whether you've ever hesitated at the edge of the high dive and then turned around to climb back down the stairs or not, you can't not root for her as she girds her loins and faces some very uncomfortable (for her) experiences, such as going to a sex club, taking a water aerobics class, and peeing her pants while choking on a piece of carrot in front of the new/possible love of her life. Lucky for us, we get to be a fly on the wall AND have access to her thoughts throughout her endeavors.
I plan on buying this book for friends and family for Xmas this year. Who doesn't need a laugh in these times? Bonus: for all the cynical and self-deprecating humor, this is a heartwarming book that tells of the bravery it takes to walk through fear.
This is an easy, fun read. As someone who has struggled with some of the insecurities Hameister writes about (food, body image, intimacy, change), I could relate to her humorous take on life. Her mental asides in the middle of some PRETTY uncomfortable situations make normally devastating situations lough-out-loud funny.
Whether you've ever hesitated at the edge of the high dive and then turned around to climb back down the stairs or not, you can't not root for her as she girds her loins and faces some very uncomfortable (for her) experiences, such as going to a sex club, taking a water aerobics class, and peeing her pants while choking on a piece of carrot in front of the new/possible love of her life. Lucky for us, we get to be a fly on the wall AND have access to her thoughts throughout her endeavors.
I plan on buying this book for friends and family for Xmas this year. Who doesn't need a laugh in these times? Bonus: for all the cynical and self-deprecating humor, this is a heartwarming book that tells of the bravery it takes to walk through fear.
May 21, 2018
Fun fact: it is said that Roberta Flack got the inspiration for the song “Killing Me Softly” while listening to Don McLean perform songs that felt like he’d ripped pages from her diary to write. COURTENAY HAMEISTER IS MY DON MCLEAN.
In this book, Hameister describes her year (and some months) spent earnestly attempting to come to terms with her very real anxiety. During this time, she forced herself to try new things that she knew would make her uncomfortable. Drugs. Dating. Asking strangers questions. A paid cuddle sesh. Wearing a swimsuit in public. Lots of sexploration.
She hilariously put into words what many with anxiety think and feel daily. She is incredibly relatable, well-written, and her jokes don’t feel like she’s reaching. I found her perspective particularly unique because she’s writing as an established, successful, and very relevant woman who happens to also be older than 40 (which you don’t see in this genre much. You go from people highlighting their embarrassing post-college years to people talking about true incontinence, with little in between).
Now, Courtenay Hameister, can we be friends??
In this book, Hameister describes her year (and some months) spent earnestly attempting to come to terms with her very real anxiety. During this time, she forced herself to try new things that she knew would make her uncomfortable. Drugs. Dating. Asking strangers questions. A paid cuddle sesh. Wearing a swimsuit in public. Lots of sexploration.
She hilariously put into words what many with anxiety think and feel daily. She is incredibly relatable, well-written, and her jokes don’t feel like she’s reaching. I found her perspective particularly unique because she’s writing as an established, successful, and very relevant woman who happens to also be older than 40 (which you don’t see in this genre much. You go from people highlighting their embarrassing post-college years to people talking about true incontinence, with little in between).
Now, Courtenay Hameister, can we be friends??
November 6, 2018
Hilarious and especially good as an audiobook. It is a good reminder that I am in charge of my happiness and that I still need to work on being brave enough to try new things. I am also reminded that I care too much about the wrong things sometimes and that I dwell on things that only make me bitter.
September 2, 2018
This book hit all the right feels exactly when I needed it with just the right amount of humor and well placed snark. I am pretty sure I couldn’t have done some of the things she did in this book, but I will try to take some more leaps outside my own bubble.
August 15, 2018
I binged this book over a weekend! I gasped in recognition, cringed and cheered. I only wish I could have read this slower, so that it would have lasted longer.
August 27, 2018
Unflinchingly honest and consistently funny. The majority of her experiments are related to sex and intimacy, but her humor keeps the most shocking scenarios relatable.
September 26, 2021
SPOILER-ISH?
This is everything I love about a good memoir: raw, fascinating, and funny, with an ending that isn't all sunshine and rainbows thanks to a 180-degree turn. Hameister ends up in a better place and takes the first steps to becoming more fulfilled and content with herself, but also admits some of these new things would probably not be revisited. Though a few of these adventures aren't for married ladies like me, the message of "try new things before dissing them outright" is now in the back of my mind, as well as not forcing myself to continue if they don't work out in order to "fit in".
A lot of the stories in OFW sounded awfully familiar, which is maybe why it resonated so hard: the insecurity around showing anger towards loved ones; the poor body image; the conversations with my neurotic brain that keep me from living in the moment...hai there, Ms. Hameister. I think we're cousins. See you at the next family reunion; I'll be at the dessert table.
This is everything I love about a good memoir: raw, fascinating, and funny, with an ending that isn't all sunshine and rainbows thanks to a 180-degree turn. Hameister ends up in a better place and takes the first steps to becoming more fulfilled and content with herself, but also admits some of these new things would probably not be revisited. Though a few of these adventures aren't for married ladies like me, the message of "try new things before dissing them outright" is now in the back of my mind, as well as not forcing myself to continue if they don't work out in order to "fit in".
A lot of the stories in OFW sounded awfully familiar, which is maybe why it resonated so hard: the insecurity around showing anger towards loved ones; the poor body image; the conversations with my neurotic brain that keep me from living in the moment...hai there, Ms. Hameister. I think we're cousins. See you at the next family reunion; I'll be at the dessert table.
July 31, 2019
I love this book.
Courtenay, you are my hero.
This book was amusing from start to finish, I loved the author's realistic and snarky attitude about everything, and her footnotes ended up being my favorite parts of this book.
But this book also hit me on a personal level. Sometimes it can get a little surreal to think about how much fear we have in our lives, how much that fear can effect us, and what lengths we might go to to avoid facing or addressing that fear.
I am not a comfort zone pusher. I like my comfort zone very much thank you. I am also a planner, I like to have a plan and stick to it. New or strange things can instantly cause unbelievable stress and anxiety. But once I read the chapter with the idea of "Act as if..." something kind of clicked. What if I too "acted as if...new doesn't mean scary". It really gave me a new perspective to try out, and it wasn't terrible. It inspired me to try things that had piqued my interest, but were deemed "scary", and make more plans to try things that are out of my comfort zone.
Courtenay, you are my hero.
This book was amusing from start to finish, I loved the author's realistic and snarky attitude about everything, and her footnotes ended up being my favorite parts of this book.
But this book also hit me on a personal level. Sometimes it can get a little surreal to think about how much fear we have in our lives, how much that fear can effect us, and what lengths we might go to to avoid facing or addressing that fear.
I am not a comfort zone pusher. I like my comfort zone very much thank you. I am also a planner, I like to have a plan and stick to it. New or strange things can instantly cause unbelievable stress and anxiety. But once I read the chapter with the idea of "Act as if..." something kind of clicked. What if I too "acted as if...new doesn't mean scary". It really gave me a new perspective to try out, and it wasn't terrible. It inspired me to try things that had piqued my interest, but were deemed "scary", and make more plans to try things that are out of my comfort zone.
April 15, 2022
Loved this, it's laugh out loud funny but smart and insightful too. Courtenay Hameister, I would buy your other books!
August 6, 2019
Somewhat funny, somewhat serious. Raunchy at times, but she pulls it off.
September 19, 2018
I loved this book. There are way too many authors who belittle others in writing about their own struggles with mental health, all in the name of I'M BEING FUNNY, but in reality, they're just being mean (Hello, Jenny Lawson). Hameister is not one of them. Instead, she brings a hilarious voice to her own struggles, and tells the story of her tenacity of pulling herself up through them with curiosity, and how she learned to flex a new muscle of self forgiveness, and self kindness.
There are many ways this book could have gone, and I entered into it knowing it could be a shitshow. It was still a shitshow, but of the most beautiful kind. (I think she'd be okay with that description.)
Hameister's hilarious writing style includes side commentary of what plays through her head, as well as footnotes, that at first I thought were going to be irritating, and instead, were like fun jewels popping up throughout the book. I literally LOL'd. (that takes a lot)
While I don't personally know Hameister, our circles sometimes intermingle and to know the truth to her, instead of what she projects out into the world, is such a lesson to me. Even the most confident, outgoing, successful people struggle, and sometimes, really, really deeply. Way to go Courtenay, for not running away from it all, and instead, applying your curious nature to what ended up being a beautiful story to share.
P.S. I've never read a book that uses the word "akimbo" as many times as this book. Random note for you.
There are many ways this book could have gone, and I entered into it knowing it could be a shitshow. It was still a shitshow, but of the most beautiful kind. (I think she'd be okay with that description.)
Hameister's hilarious writing style includes side commentary of what plays through her head, as well as footnotes, that at first I thought were going to be irritating, and instead, were like fun jewels popping up throughout the book. I literally LOL'd. (that takes a lot)
While I don't personally know Hameister, our circles sometimes intermingle and to know the truth to her, instead of what she projects out into the world, is such a lesson to me. Even the most confident, outgoing, successful people struggle, and sometimes, really, really deeply. Way to go Courtenay, for not running away from it all, and instead, applying your curious nature to what ended up being a beautiful story to share.
P.S. I've never read a book that uses the word "akimbo" as many times as this book. Random note for you.
May 10, 2018
This was DELIGHTFUL,
Normally, I'm not one for memoirs of this type, nor for books written by so-called comedians, as I often find their humour doesn't translate well to the page. However, colour me impressed with Courtenay Hameister's 'Okay Fine Whatever', which I think is a laugh-out-loud (literally - I actually audibly snort-laughed many times), moving, emotionally resonant and intelligent take on anxiety, weight, growing up, and transitioning from someone who fears everything, to someone who only fears some things.
'Okay Fine Whatever' is Courtenay's pledge to spend a year doing things that scare her. I don't mean like, skydiving with a flock of pigeons. I mean, stuff like... dating. Floating in a sensory deprivation tank. Quitting her job. It's fascinating, watching her stumble through what most people would call regular life, or things that wouldn't send chills of fear through our hearts. And she tells the story with a lot of wit, charm and an underlying edge of raw pain, that lends an emotional heft to the narrative.
While a lot of the book contends with dating, I found the strongest bits were to do with her struggles with weight (we've all been there), the demands of her job, and the emotional work of opening yourself up to disappointment and heartache. A truly great book that deserves attention and accolades. Thanks so much for the chance to read and review!
Normally, I'm not one for memoirs of this type, nor for books written by so-called comedians, as I often find their humour doesn't translate well to the page. However, colour me impressed with Courtenay Hameister's 'Okay Fine Whatever', which I think is a laugh-out-loud (literally - I actually audibly snort-laughed many times), moving, emotionally resonant and intelligent take on anxiety, weight, growing up, and transitioning from someone who fears everything, to someone who only fears some things.
'Okay Fine Whatever' is Courtenay's pledge to spend a year doing things that scare her. I don't mean like, skydiving with a flock of pigeons. I mean, stuff like... dating. Floating in a sensory deprivation tank. Quitting her job. It's fascinating, watching her stumble through what most people would call regular life, or things that wouldn't send chills of fear through our hearts. And she tells the story with a lot of wit, charm and an underlying edge of raw pain, that lends an emotional heft to the narrative.
While a lot of the book contends with dating, I found the strongest bits were to do with her struggles with weight (we've all been there), the demands of her job, and the emotional work of opening yourself up to disappointment and heartache. A truly great book that deserves attention and accolades. Thanks so much for the chance to read and review!
September 19, 2018
Fifteen minutes into this audiobook, I announced to social media that I was in love with it. The author narrator is delightful, the subtitle is a thing I aspire to, and the book has footnotes, which is like plus one stars all on its own. Seven-ish hours later, I'm not as in love with it, but it's still pretty dang great! The biggest letdown is that I didn't take the subtitle literally enough. Hameister takes on this "Okay Fine Whatever" year of saying yes to things that are scary, but (at least according to this book) those things are mostly dating and sex related. So. If you want some not-exactly-safe-for-work (she says, having listened to this at work, hoo boy) ruminations on Tinder, polyamory, sex clubs, and keeping ill-advised spreadsheets of dates, this is A+ the book for you! The rest is mostly about Hameister's generalized anxiety disorder and hypochondria and various other mental problems, which was A+ the book for me! But even in the parts where I was like, whyyyyy are you writing about this, Hameister's narration was perfect and I felt like, well, Okay Fine Whatever let's get through this. So, mission accomplished?
December 12, 2018
This is a non-fiction work that is autobiographical. The author is a young woman with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and a very poor self-image of her body, perhaps because she tends toward overweight. She lives in the Portland area and is a successful TV presenter and producer. This book is about a period of about a year during which she challenges herself to experience new things that she has avoided in the past because she feared failing at them. The book starts with her experiencing immersion therapy. Most of the book is about her experiences trying to find a compatible boyfriend/mate and her sexual explorations. The sex is fairly explicit and there is a fair amount of it. The final part of the book has her working on her health, her weight and her depression. The author writes about her problems in a matter-of-fact way. Many of the problems she encounters with dating are familiar to many of us. For the symptoms associated with anxiety that most of us are not familiar with (thankfully), the author describes them in a manner that is easy to understand and relate to. I thought the book had an interesting subject and was well written.
May 4, 2019
One of my best gal-pals mentioned that she was reading this book, and saw a lot of herself in it. Curious, I requested it from the library.
Wow. Former radio host and author Courtenay Hameister lives with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). She decided that she would spend some time doing things that had previously frightened her, such as talking to strangers, trying on-line dating, and doing a flotation therapy/sensory deprivation tank, to get past some of it.
Hameister's authorial voice is spiked with good humor, and she doesn't pull any punches as she takes us through the good, the bad, and the ugly of each new adventure.
At one point, I found my jaw hanging open as Hameister related an experience identical to one that I had several years ago, relative to using affirmations during a body work session. It was interesting to see just how much I wasn't alone.
Hameister's book is charming, poignant and, above all, honest. Highly recommended.
Wow. Former radio host and author Courtenay Hameister lives with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). She decided that she would spend some time doing things that had previously frightened her, such as talking to strangers, trying on-line dating, and doing a flotation therapy/sensory deprivation tank, to get past some of it.
Hameister's authorial voice is spiked with good humor, and she doesn't pull any punches as she takes us through the good, the bad, and the ugly of each new adventure.
At one point, I found my jaw hanging open as Hameister related an experience identical to one that I had several years ago, relative to using affirmations during a body work session. It was interesting to see just how much I wasn't alone.
Hameister's book is charming, poignant and, above all, honest. Highly recommended.
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