Homeschooling: A Family's Journey

by Martine Millman, Gregory J. Millman

This intimate, eminently practical memoir of a successful homeschooled family of six children illuminates today’s most exciting choice in education, and shows how it works from cradle to college.

What is it that homeschoolers do that the public schools can’t or won’t? There are at least as many answers as there are studies. But nothing can capture the homeschooling experience in all its richness like the story of a real family that homeschools its children in middleclass America.

Homeschooling: A Family’s Journey is the perfect book for those millions of Americans who may know someone who homeschools, who may have read about it, thought about it, and wondered whether homeschooling is right for them. Sharing the concerns of committed parents everywhere, authors Gregory and Martine Millman are consistently practical, informed, caring, and no-nonsense in their approach. They pay special attention to homeschooling and college, the economics of home-learning, and how a parent can really handle a child’s full education.

Homeschooling opens a window on an exciting, important way of education—and, even more, a way of life—that can make all the difference in your family’s world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Education, Parenting

304 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Gregory and Martine Millman homeschooled their six children (and continue to) from infancy to top colleges. Gregory Millman's books include The Vandals' Crown: How Rebel Currency Traders Overthrew the World's Central Banks and The Day Traders: The Untold Story of the Extreme Investors and How They Changed Wall Street Forever. Martine Millman worked as a writer and editor in Taiwan, Hong Kong, and New York City before deciding to devote much of her time to the challenging and rewarding work of a homeschooling mother. The Millmans live in Green Brook, New Jersey."

Reviews

[Jillian]

This book is a wonderful look into the journey a homeschooling family with six children. They talk about the entire experience, from deciding to homeschool, to getting into college. It would be a good read for those who DON'T plan on homeschooling as well, because it clears up a lot of misconceptions (oh, and might convince you to do it. ha ha). Two points they made (that can be referenced by research, another reason to love this book, they back everything up, it's not purely anecdotal) is that homeschooled children wind up being better socialized adults, with wider ranges of friends and acquaintances than conventionally schooled children; the second being that mom's who homeschool are often LESS stressed (didn't see that coming, did you?) because of the networks they build, and that they can do many things in the off seasons, and travel when they want, and are not on a school's schedule, but their own. I liked that it gave me many studies and reports to prove myself next time some one tells me that if I'm not stressed about schooling, I must not be working hard enough. I must add that it's not to say that mothers who homeschool do not worry about their children's progress, but that ALL mothers worry about that, and the other things are the homeschooling mothers advantage over those who send their kids to school "for a break".

[Michelle]

If you're thinking about homeschooling, then maybe you should read it. If not, then I wouldn't recommend it at all. It was our book club book for this month and I couldn't even bring myself to finish it. The author comes across as so arrogant, elitist, and self-praising about every area of his life, thought, habits, even down to how his family prepares a meal. I'm not saying I didn't agree with him on some topics, but the way he presented everything drove me nuts! I also feel like he presents his information in a way that is extremely skewed and misleading. He is fundamentally confused on the difference between homeschooling vs public schooling, and different educational philosophies. I had a lot of other issues with the things he said and I could go on and on but I'll leave it at that.

[Kayla]

Mostly this book offered validation. I found myself nodding through the majority of it, because their perspective and priorities align closely with mine. I would recommend this book to anyone who is thinking of homeschooling, as I feel it offers a realistic and straightforward look at what homeschooling can be. My only real issue (though it didn't come up very often) was that they primarily spoke negatively of public school. I know why I personally disliked public school as a kid, and I am sure there are people in high places who work the school system to their financial benefit, but I think their perspective discounts the thousands of dedicated teachers and staff who pour their energy into providing education at public school.

[Natalie]

I struggled with this book. There was lots of whining about how they were a single income Fsmily with not a lot of money and then they talk about all the trips to Europe. Also I could have done with out all the bashing of public schools.

[Becky of Becky's Bookshelves]

One of my all time favorite books.

[Stephanie]

I am so glad that this family published this book about their homeschooling experiences. My eyes were opened to so many things about homeschooling and public schooling. I almost feel cheated knowing I went to a public school and missed out on some great opportunities. (I feel really cheated that my own parents didn't do some basic college prep and research that these authors have opened my eyes to!)
More than anything, I really enjoyed the section on college admissions. There are great tips in there that I will be using to even find my husband a good grad school for him (if it's possible to sway our choices at all).
Being public schooled my whole life, and marrying a homeschooled man, I had all the same negative stereotypes about homeschooling that most people have. The problem is these stereotypes are assumptions made without researching to verify. Most parents don't even stop to consider their educational choices. They just put their children in public schools because that's "just how it's done".
The only thing holding me back from homeschooling is the challenge it presents for me to make personal sacrifices to do it. This book has helped me feel that there is more support out there for it than I thought, and while we still have time to decide, and I still need to read some "anti-homeschooling" literature to do my fair research on both sides, it seems inevitable that we will be homeschooling.
I'm even considering sending a Thank you note to the authors for realizing the need for a book like this. Even if you're against homeschooling, this clears up a lot of misconceptions about it, and the type of people who do it. And a lot of other reviews have said that they found only the college section useful. Everyone should read this book before they make a personal opinion of homeschooling and homeschoolers.

[Karina Coombs]

Definitely gave me some things to think about as we explore homeschooling this year. I had trouble with a lot of the statements re: public school, however, particularly those that seemed like generalizations or those that started with, "Most teachers..." I am not sure how much they can base this on as their kids never really were in school. I also think that homeschooling is a choice -- not better or worse -- and them seemed to look down their collective noses at those "left behind."

[Stephanie]

It would've been interesting , but for me it seemed to run on and on and wasn't very informative
I felt my interest drop
When they mentioned their views on internet and television ...

[Angela]

I found the first half of the book more relevant to my current stage of life. The latter half was geared more toward guiding kids through high school and college.

A quote I liked, "American schools have, since the late nimeteenth century, demanded various things of children, but never that they become subjects responsible for seekimg truth. Instead, the children have always been objects of one process or another, and they continue to be."

Also, "As most educators know, schools are run for adults, not children."

Being educated has come to mean, "ready to enter the workforce," instead of being familiar with a vast array of knowledge including an appreciation and love for art, literature and music.

I love that this family defined education as "living, learning, and developing."

Martine writes, "We want children to become virtuous. The virtuous don't deny nature, but they certainly control nature, as any gardener does. We balance control with freedom. We try from the beginning to be open to the children, to listen to them, to work with their natural gifts, and not just to superimpose a curriculum or be authoritarian about what they have to learn. If God gave us free will, we are in no position to take freedom away from children. Following a child's nature can be something as simple as finding a book a child wants to read instead of taking the text or the curriculum authorities have said is good. It can mean following the child's interest in history even if it means jumping around a bit. That makes it harder for us in a way as homeschoolers, but in the long runI think it gives us more satisfaction as educators and parents."

[Lindsey]

This was an interesting read. I enjoyed it for the most part, but there were a few things I found a bit distracting.... I really appreciated the way that the authors encouraged having a large view of life as education - learning doesn't stop bc you have a degree in your hand, so why treat your schooling like it does? On the other hand, there was definitely some spitshine on their story, the "Instagram" effect, if you will (even though this was before Instagram was even a thing lol). So it was definitely inspirational, and affirming, but with very little (if any?) peeks behind the curtain into any struggles or the practical logistics of how they made some of this stuff work. (Outside of the constant refrain that they were a one-income family, which makes one think they're poor until they spend a whole chapter talking about travel and trips to Europe..... "poor" indeed.) Lastly, I got the impression that they equate homeschooling as Mom's Domain, which is unfair to the Dad's and other Adults that help facilitate the homeschool experience in many families. I recognize that they are a product of their time, and if they had written this under today's more inclusive speech influences or post-Pandemic Homebound behavior changes, they would have done it differently, but it was a distracting disappointment to have everything so focused on mom as the solution, even if it often does work out that way.

[Jenny Taylor]

The Millmans' memoir is a worthwhile read for those interested in homeschooling. The tone can be a little abrasive as these homeschoolers assert that they have it all figured out, but they do admit that it began as a journey of self-doubt and discovery. Read it with a grain of salt, knowing that you can pick and choose the elements of a homeschool education that works for your family.

[Megan Mackey]

I would not recommend this book. They seem so arrogant and rude. This is not how I want myself to be seen as a homeschooler.

[Amy Rogers]

I finished reading Homeschooling: A Family's Journey by Martine and Gregory Millman back in 2010 and wrote this review then. My children are no longer homeschooled, but I pulled this up because I think it jives nicely with Sal Khan's new book, particularly the quote I highlighted in the review. I'll be reviewing Khan's book sometime next week.

The Millman's have homeschooled six children, three of whom are settled into college life, and three still in the chute.

They do a beautiful job of explaining the lifestyle of homeschooling versus a school at home mindset. I thoroughly enjoyed their description of how learning happens just by keeping your eyes open to the possiblity of it. I love this gem from the book:

Many things that everyone takes for granted make sense only when you exercise no skepticism and pay no attention, but it's easy to get swept away by the herd.



They were tad rough on public schools, in my opinion. I live in a upper middle class suburban community, so it may have been justified for their locale, but as far as I can tell, much of what they had problems with in their PS system doesn't really apply across the board. Though some of it certainly does. Of course, my kids have never gone to school, so I'm just basing this on what I've heard.

The chapter on the college admissions process is worth the price of the book. Their description of the hoops you need to jump as a homeschooler applying to college is thorough and well-researched. They've done an excellent job explaining what goes on in the minds of admissions officers as well.

I recommend it for any stage of homeschooling, from considering homeschooling all the way through to shopping colleges.

And what are you reading today?

[Brooke]

This was an interesting read for me. I'm glad that I did not start my homeschooling research with this book though as it does not focus on different methods really. This book is about one family who decided to start homeschooling for various reasons back in the early 90's. The authors are very knowledgeable about the history of public education and that of homeschooling. They do talk about some things that worked for them and some that didn't and why. I really enjoyed the section on homeschooling groups and how they can help your child's education and network. There is an awesome chapter on the college admissions process for homeschoolers. Of course I'm a long ways from needing that info and I'm sure it will change again by then but it was good solid information and enlightening on many levels. This book is rich in detail and ideas and after reading it I feel like I could very easily homeschool succesfully. One note the family in the end decides to use a technique called unschooling (which for those that don't know much about homeschooling does not mean that they don't educate their children, I liken it to extreme Montessori). I myself couldn't do unschooling as it isn't structured enough for my brain but they don't make you feel like you have to use their method. They are just telling you why it worked for them. They do not spend tons of time talking about it really either so you won't feel like you are getting beaten over the head by the method. It really isn't a book about methods. I would highly recommend this book to current homeschooling families and to those considering homeschooling as an option!

[Sheila]

I liked this book a lot. Her description of unschooling wasn't accurate. For example, unschooling is NOT just a word to describe secular homeschooling and it's not just another word for relaxed homeschooling.

What they describe in this book is relaxed homeschooling, not unschooling. Still, I enjoyed a lot of what they had to say.

I particularly enjoyed the section on travel. For kids who like travel, I agree with them about how valuable the experience can be, and about traveling the back roads and meandering around yourself instead of just doing very touristy things and looking for the learn-able moments in every situation. (Unfortunately, they didn't mention that some kids don't like to travel, and that that's okay too.)

I agreed about their horror at the attitudes of the school their child was in, and I agree that so many people don't even consider NOT sending their children to school, even when attitudes like that persist. I liked that they considered thoughtfully the decisions they made instead of just doing the default, "This is what everyone around me is doing."

I found the chapter on college admissions helpful for those kids considering college (although they didn't emphasize that some kids might NOT want college, and validate that as an acceptable choice).

In spite of some of their choices being different than my family's, I sensed this was an interesting, thoughtful family whose company I would enjoy.

[Heather]

This book combines a lot of good information about the reasons for homeschooling and research about homeschooling families, combined with one family's personal experiences. The Millmans decided to homeschool for non-religious reasons, which is why I picked up this book. Although they are Catholic and they integrate their faith into their kids' education, they decided to homeschool for lack of any good, affordable school option.

I really wanted to enjoy this book, but the tone is so annoyingly pompous and self-satisfied throughout that I had to force myself to finish it to get to the good information hidden in here. There is no humor here, just continuous self-back-patting over every single decision the family has made.

The information about public schools is overwhelmingly negative, to put it mildly. I think that anyone not choosing to homeschool their children would be quite offended by the book. The Millmans' experiences with their local Catholic school are, I think, extreme, and certainly not representative of the majority of public or private schools today, no matter how flawed they might be.

[Marissa Morrison]

The Miillmans tell about how they decided to teach their six kids at home, how they do it (largely open ended, with much of the education coming from digression), and the ways in which they keep their kids involved with others in their community. The children who are old enough to have gone to college have been National Merit Scholars and attended top-notch schools. Some nice things here: they read Dickens to each other, they worked around one child's late reading onset (at age 8) and didn't focus on "fixing" it, they watch almost no TV but have family movie nights at home, and the mom takes one kid to Italy every few years. Since they don't take summers off, the kids don't waste time reviewing last year's math every fall.

It sort of boggles my mind that the mom left her career not to be with her kids not just for a few years but basically forever, and the family has made that work on the dad's modest income. I wish this book had offered more info on how that has affected the wife's sense of herself.

[Andrea]

Provides valuable insights into homeschooling through one large Catholic family's homeschooling experiences. I enjoyed reading about their journey and found their curriculum approaches particularly interesting.

This family's educational goal, "to equip our children for the free pursuit of truth through virtue," heavily colors the perspectives they offer in this book and may not line up well with the goals of some families. Despite my differing ideologies, I appreciated the picture of homeschooling that the authors provide. Some of their descriptions of unplanned learning and their discussion of the college application process were especially useful.

I do wish that the authors had been more circumspect in which of their opinions they chose to present in this book. I'm all for sharing your opinions in a useful and persuasive manner, but in several places they just throw controversial opinions out there as if they were gospel without supporting them. There are a few people to whom I would hesitate to recommend this illuminating book for that reason.

[The Hofs]

This book caught my eye as I glanced at the "New Book" shelf at the library. My initial reaction was thoughts of 'ho-hum, another homeschooling book'. Then I realized that I once knew the author. She was in my Master Gardening class in NJ. She was a lovely woman. (I only mention the knowledge of her because some of the reviews comment on the authors arrogance and elitist attitude. I never had this impression at all).

The book itself was delightful! I have been homeschooling for what seems like forever and I truly appreciated the perspective the Millman's gave on choosing a good college and seizing upon the opportunities that God sent their way. It is a great read for encouragement and to relax and enjoy the ride.

[Crystal]

So far I enjoy this book. Definitely promotes "unschooling" style of homeschool. This book sure is motivating me to try this path with my family!

My favorite part so far is their view that having a full-time mom is a luxury they weren't willing to give up!

Getting a little tired of reading about how evil public school is. I agree that there are problems. But there are LOTS of great teachers out there who care about the individuals they teach and strive to teach kids how to think and learn rather than memorize or repeat the "correct" answer.

I liked the section that explained how to help home-schooled kids be ready for, and get into, college.

[Sarah]

An interesting and intimate portrait of one family's journey through homeschooling. Traces the origins of their decision to homeschool through the eventual placement of their three eldest children in college. Unlike most books on the subject the author spends less time describing the methods and curriculum used and more time on the reasoning behind the decision to homeschool. Although I found this reasoning to be logically sound I do think he was to quick to broadly generalize schools as inferior. Yes, there are problems with the educational system but there are schools "making the grade." The final chapters would be particularly helpful to those approaching the college level.

[Heather Sarik]

The initial chapters telling the story of how the family came to homeschooling are worth a read, as are the final chapters about navigating the college admissions process as a homeschooler. Beyond that, it's a whole lotta tiresome bragging about how the author's family is way more enlightened than all the unthinking drones who send their kids to public school, but no real practical details or insights about how homeschooling worked for the family from the time they pulled their oldest from school through getting the kids into college. But don't forget, even their road trip snacks are more enlightened than anyone else's. This guy must be quite the pompous windbag in person.

[Sara floerke]

As I was reading this book I resolved to myself to read at least one Homeschooling book a quarter. I don't do that anymore because I've been homeschooling so long I figure I don't need any advice. But what I do need is encouragement, and this book did a great job at bolstering me up!

This was one family's homeschool story and I loved that they did the homeschooling to give their kids the best possible education. Great advice in this one about high school, college entrance...some of the older kids stuff.

This would be worth checking out once every few years.

[Rebecca]

I wanted to give this 4 stars, because I loved the first half, but somehow I lost interest and never actually finished it, so I probably can't! Plus, I happen to relate really well to a lot of the ideas talked about in this book, but I know not everyone will, and some who disagree might be a bit put off by how strongly certain opinions are expressed. Still, if you have an interest in homeschooling at all, I think you might find this worth trying.

[Melora]

This is one of the best books on homeschooling I've read. Very positive and encouraging. It has very little detail on "how" but lots on "why." We've been homeschooling for years, so what I wanted from this book was inspiration and encouragement, and that is just what it offers! The section on college admissions (which is beginning to loom as a concern for me) was more specific than the rest of the book, and I found it very helpful.

[Tori]

The information regarding starting up homeschooling and finding your child's learning style, as well as using everyday situations as a teachable moment, was great. The focus on the stay-at-home mom not being something they were willing to give up was great too. However, I finished this book feeling like, "Crap!" I don't know if I can turn my kids into the kind of scholars the author's kids turned out to be. His delivery was kind of pompous and I didn't enjoy it.

[Carmen Liffengren]

As a homeschooling mom, I didn't find a whole lot of new information with the exception of the college application process for homeschoolers. They are an eclectic family of homeschoolers with roots in a traditional curriculum. They find opportunity everywhere. I did find affirmation in my own homeschooling journey.

[Lynnea]

Okay book - not really what I was looking for - it was more of a autobiography than I expected/wanted. I actually only read the first few chapters. What I really liked from this book though was at the end of each chapter was a list of points to take away. I read all those - that was helpful, quick, and literally, to the point! :)

[Tracy]

It was interesting to learn about a family that had not originally considered homeschooling their children being practically forced into homeschooling because of certain circumstances and really coming to embrace and champion the homeschooling way of life. The book wasn't a page-turner or anything but it added another perspective/insight into my growing collection of homeschooling information.

[Lea]

The Millmans' story of their homeschooling journey is an inspiring read. I've been homeschooling for about 5 years now, and every now and then I find myself going back to this book, leafing through its pages, soaking in the wisdom & encouragement.

I hope there will be more inspiring books on homeschooling such as this.