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Together at the Table: Diversity without Division in The United Methodist Church
Together at the Table is the personal story and public message of Bishop Karen Oliveto, the first openly LGBTQ person to be elected a bishop in The United Methodist Church. Her election was and is controversial, with opponents seeking to have her removed and some even threatening violence against her. The denomination has been debating the inclusion of LGBTQ people for decades and will be gathering in February 2019 to determine whether it can agree to let conferences within the church ordain as they see fit and let congregations decide what weddings to hold or whether conservative and liberal factions will break off from the denominational body.
Bishop Oliveto believes that the church can stay together--that people of different convictions can remain in communion with one another. Woven together with her own story of coming out and following God's call to ordained ministry is her guidance for how to live together despite differences--by practicing empathy, living with ambiguity, appreciating the diversity of creation, and embracing unity without uniformity.
Bishop Oliveto believes that the church can stay together--that people of different convictions can remain in communion with one another. Woven together with her own story of coming out and following God's call to ordained ministry is her guidance for how to live together despite differences--by practicing empathy, living with ambiguity, appreciating the diversity of creation, and embracing unity without uniformity.
194 pages, Paperback
Published July 31, 2018
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July 2, 2018
My husband is a retired United Methodist (UM) pastor. He started seminary in 1972, the year the UM General Conference first created the statements to guide the church in social piety called The Social Principles.
The Principles assert that all persons are 'of sacred worth'. It "affirms that sexuality is God's good gift to all persons." They also state that homosexuality is incompatible with Biblical teaching and they support civil laws defining marriage as the union between one man and one woman. "Self-avowed practicing homosexuals" are barred from ordination by the church rules in its Discipline.
How does one put aside one's sexual identity and desire for intimacy and love? asked my husband's fellow seminary student, a self-avowed homosexual.
The UM church is a world-wide organization. Some nations support the current language of the Principles, while conferences or churches support full inclusion of LGBT persons. Expectations of a split within the denomination has increased over the years. The denomination is considering allowing individual churches or conferences to make their own decisions.
In 2016 the Western Jurisdiction of the UM church elected a bishop who is a married lesbian, Rev. Karen Oliveto. The Judicial Council ruled that although she is in violation of the Discipline, she also was legally elected and the Jurisdiction can only act to remove her.
Has the time come for the church to take a stand, once and for all, to embrace and love all persons, or will we untie the "United" in our name?
When I saw Westminster Press had published a book by Bishop Oliveto I had to read it and was pleased to be granted the e-galley through NetGalley.
The book relates Bishop Oliveto's faith journey and pastoral career. She writes in a very accessible and direct way.
She confesses her own challenges as she learned to be inclusive and open to diversity while serving as senior pastor at Glide Memorial in San Francisco, a predominately Afrocentric church in the Tenderloin district. The community was guided by a saying, "We are all in recovery from something," uniting people in their admission of imperfection and struggle for wholeness.
I appreciate her candor regarding the need for perpetual self-assessment, asking "Is what I am saying, is what I am doing, increasing compassion and connection in the world, or rupturing relationship with others, with the divine, with the earth, with myself?" I know from experience that one must be vigilant for it is easy to fall into stereotyping or group-think.
Bishop Oliveto writes, "I believe that we are currently facing an empathy deficit in this country and, unfortunately, also in the church." I remember in the 1960s hearing the saying "don't judge a man until you walk in his shoes." Today we don't want to even try to understand each other. Race, economic class, and gender have become reasons to exclude people. Our current government leaders foster this division and labeling of the other.
"We have lost the capacity to listen to one another, to be open to the truth another brings to the conversation. We stand ready to rebut, rebuke, and reject." We see this daily on Facebook, Twitter, in the news. I have seen it in the local church as well, causing schisms and division.
Bishop Oliveto affirms that accepting everyone to the Communion table is messy; allowing everyone a voice is messy. Ambiguity can be frightening. Dispensing with surety and black and white rules requires living on faith.
But isn't that what faith is all about--being willing to step into the unknown, trusting in God?
"We don't really believe in the Trinity, otherwise we wouldn't have such a hard time accepting diversity," Bishop Oliveto quotes Episcopal Bishop C. Andrew Doyle's challenge to the UM Council of Bishops. We love diversity in nature, the flowers and animals. yet we are only comfortable with people 'like us.'
Research has shown that diversity in experience and insights lead to better decisions and creativity in the workplace. If the church puts love at its center, Rev. Oliveto says, we can remain in relationship. Unity does not require uniformity. We can be stronger and better together.
Bishop Oliveto has a vision of people gathering at the table, all kinds of people with conflicting beliefs and backgrounds, breaking bread and listening, learning. A healthy community based on love.
During my husband's career, we saw persons harmed by exclusion, a transgender student pressured to conform, churches schism over the Social Principles, pastors facing charges for being gay. Will the church reflect the intolerance of secular society and continue to divide into "us and them"? Or can we pattern The Beloved Community, as Bishop Oliveto dreams?
The Principles assert that all persons are 'of sacred worth'. It "affirms that sexuality is God's good gift to all persons." They also state that homosexuality is incompatible with Biblical teaching and they support civil laws defining marriage as the union between one man and one woman. "Self-avowed practicing homosexuals" are barred from ordination by the church rules in its Discipline.
How does one put aside one's sexual identity and desire for intimacy and love? asked my husband's fellow seminary student, a self-avowed homosexual.
The UM church is a world-wide organization. Some nations support the current language of the Principles, while conferences or churches support full inclusion of LGBT persons. Expectations of a split within the denomination has increased over the years. The denomination is considering allowing individual churches or conferences to make their own decisions.
In 2016 the Western Jurisdiction of the UM church elected a bishop who is a married lesbian, Rev. Karen Oliveto. The Judicial Council ruled that although she is in violation of the Discipline, she also was legally elected and the Jurisdiction can only act to remove her.
Has the time come for the church to take a stand, once and for all, to embrace and love all persons, or will we untie the "United" in our name?
When I saw Westminster Press had published a book by Bishop Oliveto I had to read it and was pleased to be granted the e-galley through NetGalley.
The book relates Bishop Oliveto's faith journey and pastoral career. She writes in a very accessible and direct way.
She confesses her own challenges as she learned to be inclusive and open to diversity while serving as senior pastor at Glide Memorial in San Francisco, a predominately Afrocentric church in the Tenderloin district. The community was guided by a saying, "We are all in recovery from something," uniting people in their admission of imperfection and struggle for wholeness.
I appreciate her candor regarding the need for perpetual self-assessment, asking "Is what I am saying, is what I am doing, increasing compassion and connection in the world, or rupturing relationship with others, with the divine, with the earth, with myself?" I know from experience that one must be vigilant for it is easy to fall into stereotyping or group-think.
Bishop Oliveto writes, "I believe that we are currently facing an empathy deficit in this country and, unfortunately, also in the church." I remember in the 1960s hearing the saying "don't judge a man until you walk in his shoes." Today we don't want to even try to understand each other. Race, economic class, and gender have become reasons to exclude people. Our current government leaders foster this division and labeling of the other.
"We have lost the capacity to listen to one another, to be open to the truth another brings to the conversation. We stand ready to rebut, rebuke, and reject." We see this daily on Facebook, Twitter, in the news. I have seen it in the local church as well, causing schisms and division.
Bishop Oliveto affirms that accepting everyone to the Communion table is messy; allowing everyone a voice is messy. Ambiguity can be frightening. Dispensing with surety and black and white rules requires living on faith.
But isn't that what faith is all about--being willing to step into the unknown, trusting in God?
"We don't really believe in the Trinity, otherwise we wouldn't have such a hard time accepting diversity," Bishop Oliveto quotes Episcopal Bishop C. Andrew Doyle's challenge to the UM Council of Bishops. We love diversity in nature, the flowers and animals. yet we are only comfortable with people 'like us.'
Research has shown that diversity in experience and insights lead to better decisions and creativity in the workplace. If the church puts love at its center, Rev. Oliveto says, we can remain in relationship. Unity does not require uniformity. We can be stronger and better together.
Bishop Oliveto has a vision of people gathering at the table, all kinds of people with conflicting beliefs and backgrounds, breaking bread and listening, learning. A healthy community based on love.
During my husband's career, we saw persons harmed by exclusion, a transgender student pressured to conform, churches schism over the Social Principles, pastors facing charges for being gay. Will the church reflect the intolerance of secular society and continue to divide into "us and them"? Or can we pattern The Beloved Community, as Bishop Oliveto dreams?
August 31, 2018
The journey to full inclusion of LBGT persons in the church and in society is a long and often arduous one. Some churches and denominations are further along than others (though there are those who would say we've gone off the rails -- but that is not my view). The United Methodist Church is the largest mainline Protestant denomination. There is probably a UMC congregation in most every town in America. They can be conservative and they can be very liberal. My son is a graduate student at a liberal UMC seminary, so I know where things stand, at least to some degree. My own denomination, the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) gives congregations freedom on this and other matters. My congregation is Open and Affirming, many others are not. But it's up to the congregations to decide. Not so with the United Methodists.
Together at the Table is an attempt by the first Lesbian UMC Bishop to share her story, defend her position, and seek to find a path forward that doesn't lead to division. Whether that will be true is yet to be seen. The UMC, which is a global church with its largest growth taking place in the Global South and in Asia, where social mores tend to be more conservative in the United States and Canada. If it were just the North American churches it might be easier to avert division. In any case, as I took up Karen Oliveto's book, I did so as an outsider. I am not UMC and therefore I don't have a stake in the debate. I'm supportive, of course, but I will not be directly affected. It is interesting as well that it is a Presbyterian publisher that makes the book available.
The author, Karen Oliveto, is the Bishop of the Mountain Sky region (Colorado, Utah, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho). That is one of the more conservative portions of the country politically, and yet they chose her to oversee these churches. Before that she served churches in New York and California, including the famously liberal Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco. Being the first person to break a barrier is always difficult. There will be scars. They are apparent and understandable.
Oliveto uses the image of the Lord's Table as the vehicle to share her story and invite both supporters and opponents to find unity at the table, without necessarily embracing uniformity on this and other issues. While I support that vision, it does seem that on both sides of the question of inclusion the positions are hardening. She speaks here of her sexuality being a non-essential where there can be room for disagreement. Again, I may agree with her, many on both sides have made it an essential.
Her primary message here is that in the church we should exercise empathy and lean into the ambiguity of the situation. This is important --- the leaning into ambiguity -- because much of the debate centers on the way we read Scripture. Do we read it narrowly, applying ancient rules and roles that no longer fit our understandings of human life. United Methodists, for instance, do not support slavery, though some among them once did -- on biblical grounds. United Methodists have long ordained women, though one can read Scripture to bar them from this role. So, in this day, how do we read scripture, which she and I wish to honor, in a way that allows contemporary knowledge to guide us.
Here again is where the Table image goes back into play. The closing chapter is titled "We Eat with People We Love." She starts out sharing why she and others like her do not leave the UMC for a more accommodating denomination. Her answer is simple she is born and bred UMC. This is the church that formed her, ordained her, and has given her life. She doesn't want to go elsewhere. She wants to continue eating at the family table with the people she loves, even if they don't agree with each other. We will see if the family can remain at table together. We're seeing in the political arena families divided over politics. The same is true of the church.
This is a very personal book, as might be expected. As I've said before, I think we're at the point that there are enough books that explore the relevant texts. Now it is the personal stories that are the most helpful. With Oliveto's book, I struggled at points simply because a lot of it has to do with inner workings of the UMC and internal debates that do not affect me. I don't have to worry about the internal politics of the denomination, not only because I'm not gay. Our issues are more congregational than denominational. That said, I think this can be a helpful book even for non-UMC folks.
Together at the Table is an attempt by the first Lesbian UMC Bishop to share her story, defend her position, and seek to find a path forward that doesn't lead to division. Whether that will be true is yet to be seen. The UMC, which is a global church with its largest growth taking place in the Global South and in Asia, where social mores tend to be more conservative in the United States and Canada. If it were just the North American churches it might be easier to avert division. In any case, as I took up Karen Oliveto's book, I did so as an outsider. I am not UMC and therefore I don't have a stake in the debate. I'm supportive, of course, but I will not be directly affected. It is interesting as well that it is a Presbyterian publisher that makes the book available.
The author, Karen Oliveto, is the Bishop of the Mountain Sky region (Colorado, Utah, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho). That is one of the more conservative portions of the country politically, and yet they chose her to oversee these churches. Before that she served churches in New York and California, including the famously liberal Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco. Being the first person to break a barrier is always difficult. There will be scars. They are apparent and understandable.
Oliveto uses the image of the Lord's Table as the vehicle to share her story and invite both supporters and opponents to find unity at the table, without necessarily embracing uniformity on this and other issues. While I support that vision, it does seem that on both sides of the question of inclusion the positions are hardening. She speaks here of her sexuality being a non-essential where there can be room for disagreement. Again, I may agree with her, many on both sides have made it an essential.
Her primary message here is that in the church we should exercise empathy and lean into the ambiguity of the situation. This is important --- the leaning into ambiguity -- because much of the debate centers on the way we read Scripture. Do we read it narrowly, applying ancient rules and roles that no longer fit our understandings of human life. United Methodists, for instance, do not support slavery, though some among them once did -- on biblical grounds. United Methodists have long ordained women, though one can read Scripture to bar them from this role. So, in this day, how do we read scripture, which she and I wish to honor, in a way that allows contemporary knowledge to guide us.
Here again is where the Table image goes back into play. The closing chapter is titled "We Eat with People We Love." She starts out sharing why she and others like her do not leave the UMC for a more accommodating denomination. Her answer is simple she is born and bred UMC. This is the church that formed her, ordained her, and has given her life. She doesn't want to go elsewhere. She wants to continue eating at the family table with the people she loves, even if they don't agree with each other. We will see if the family can remain at table together. We're seeing in the political arena families divided over politics. The same is true of the church.
This is a very personal book, as might be expected. As I've said before, I think we're at the point that there are enough books that explore the relevant texts. Now it is the personal stories that are the most helpful. With Oliveto's book, I struggled at points simply because a lot of it has to do with inner workings of the UMC and internal debates that do not affect me. I don't have to worry about the internal politics of the denomination, not only because I'm not gay. Our issues are more congregational than denominational. That said, I think this can be a helpful book even for non-UMC folks.
July 31, 2018
I received a print copy of this book from its publisher through a giveaway they had on GoodReads.com and the following is my honest opinion.
Being a child of the 1950’s the possibility of any member of the LGBTQ being accepted as belonging to any of the major religions had been looked at with an unbelievable amount of distain, and members got treated liked they’ve been lepers or suffering from the black plaque.
The mysterious question which has for the longest period of time kept on popping up in my mind is, that if we’re all supposedly have been created in his image then why is everyone not being accepted with open arms for who and what they are?
Luckily, little by little, LGBTQ members are finally seeing this acceptance in the 21st century.
Elliott Kukla and Reuben Zellman are the first transgender rabbis ordained by the Reform movement in 2006 and 2010, respectively. And Emily Aviva Kapor got ordained privately by a Conservadox rabbi in 2005, and began living as a woman in 2012, making her the first openly transgender female rabbi in Judaism.
Rev. Dr. Cameron Partridge on Sunday, June 22, 2014 made history as the first openly transgender priest to preach at the historic Washington National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., in honor of Pride Month; where the Rt. Rev Gene Robinson who is the first openly gay priest known to be elected a bishop, had presided at this historical service.
Now in her book, “Together at the Table”, we’re introduced to Karen Oliveto, the first openly LGBTQ person to be elected a bishop in The United Methodist Church. Needless to say, her appointment hasn’t come easy as it had been marked by an enormous amount controversy, especially by those who determent to remain adherent to their decades old beliefs regarding such individuals even being just a member of a congregation. And while some congregants had been mere opponents of her elevation to that of becoming a bishop, others had been fanatically against it to the extend they were intimidating aggressive actions against her.
The event of Bishop Oliveto’s elevation to her position has caused an almost monumental rift within the denominational body of the church itself, causing fractional differences between its traditionalistic and more accepting members and congregations, and possibly resulting in these groups breaking off from the whole church so they can live in harmony amongst themselves.
Luckily for the United Methodist Church, Bishop Oliveto is deeply committed in seeing that there’s a unity between everyone in the church which goes beyond their differences. She’s committed in seeing everyone accepts that not only are we simply all created in God’s imagine, there needs to be a sense of compassion between everyone regardless of who or what someone might be.
In the end, we’ve got to remember that a house divided cannot stand, and we’ve got to thank Bishop Oliveto in wanting to make sure that the house of the United Methodist Church doesn’t meet this fate; but is able to remain standing and thriving for eons to come. So in the end, for her commitment regarding this massive endeavor and for sharing her story in this well-written, uplifting book, I’m giving the Bishop and her book, the 5 STARS they both richly deserve.
Being a child of the 1950’s the possibility of any member of the LGBTQ being accepted as belonging to any of the major religions had been looked at with an unbelievable amount of distain, and members got treated liked they’ve been lepers or suffering from the black plaque.
The mysterious question which has for the longest period of time kept on popping up in my mind is, that if we’re all supposedly have been created in his image then why is everyone not being accepted with open arms for who and what they are?
Luckily, little by little, LGBTQ members are finally seeing this acceptance in the 21st century.
Elliott Kukla and Reuben Zellman are the first transgender rabbis ordained by the Reform movement in 2006 and 2010, respectively. And Emily Aviva Kapor got ordained privately by a Conservadox rabbi in 2005, and began living as a woman in 2012, making her the first openly transgender female rabbi in Judaism.
Rev. Dr. Cameron Partridge on Sunday, June 22, 2014 made history as the first openly transgender priest to preach at the historic Washington National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., in honor of Pride Month; where the Rt. Rev Gene Robinson who is the first openly gay priest known to be elected a bishop, had presided at this historical service.
Now in her book, “Together at the Table”, we’re introduced to Karen Oliveto, the first openly LGBTQ person to be elected a bishop in The United Methodist Church. Needless to say, her appointment hasn’t come easy as it had been marked by an enormous amount controversy, especially by those who determent to remain adherent to their decades old beliefs regarding such individuals even being just a member of a congregation. And while some congregants had been mere opponents of her elevation to that of becoming a bishop, others had been fanatically against it to the extend they were intimidating aggressive actions against her.
The event of Bishop Oliveto’s elevation to her position has caused an almost monumental rift within the denominational body of the church itself, causing fractional differences between its traditionalistic and more accepting members and congregations, and possibly resulting in these groups breaking off from the whole church so they can live in harmony amongst themselves.
Luckily for the United Methodist Church, Bishop Oliveto is deeply committed in seeing that there’s a unity between everyone in the church which goes beyond their differences. She’s committed in seeing everyone accepts that not only are we simply all created in God’s imagine, there needs to be a sense of compassion between everyone regardless of who or what someone might be.
In the end, we’ve got to remember that a house divided cannot stand, and we’ve got to thank Bishop Oliveto in wanting to make sure that the house of the United Methodist Church doesn’t meet this fate; but is able to remain standing and thriving for eons to come. So in the end, for her commitment regarding this massive endeavor and for sharing her story in this well-written, uplifting book, I’m giving the Bishop and her book, the 5 STARS they both richly deserve.
April 9, 2021
3.5 stars
Thank you to NetGalley and Westminster John Knox Press for this reader's copy. In exchange, I am providing an honest review.
"What is missing in our conversations with each other, particularly with those who hold beliefs different than our own? How do we stand before one another and relearn the art of conversation through empathy? How do we tell our own truth, while not denying the truth of another?"
And still more questions.
"How can I maintain relationships with those who disagree with me, not only with what I believe but with who I am? What does unity look like in the face of disagreement? Can we speak not at each other, but with each other? Can I dare to be vulnerable in the face of anger and distrust? What can lead us all to a different place?"
Bishop Karen Oliveto attempts to answer these questions in her memoir, of sorts, about her faith journey and how it has led her to be the first openly LGBTQ person to serve as a bishop in the global denomination of The United Methodist Church. And she leans on the family dinner table to serve as her example of answering these questions while building community and unity. Growing up, the dinner table was where life's questions and answers happened, where conflict arose and was resolved, where bonds were formed and strengthened. The communion table of Christ serves the same purpose for us in the Church that has the questions above. Breaking bread together breaks down walls to build bridges.
Oliveto serves up dish after dish of grace, empathy, and love in her stories of ministry through the years, what she personally learned from situations, and what she believes we all could do better at. She shares the efforts she and others, specifically within the United Methodist denomination, are engaged in to ensure LGBTQ are seen and treated as equals. Full stop.
Does Karen answer the questions? Yes, in the theoretical. What will take the answers from theory to reality is dependant on each person. We each must be willing to be humble and remember the humanity of others.
Thank you to NetGalley and Westminster John Knox Press for this reader's copy. In exchange, I am providing an honest review.
"What is missing in our conversations with each other, particularly with those who hold beliefs different than our own? How do we stand before one another and relearn the art of conversation through empathy? How do we tell our own truth, while not denying the truth of another?"
And still more questions.
"How can I maintain relationships with those who disagree with me, not only with what I believe but with who I am? What does unity look like in the face of disagreement? Can we speak not at each other, but with each other? Can I dare to be vulnerable in the face of anger and distrust? What can lead us all to a different place?"
Bishop Karen Oliveto attempts to answer these questions in her memoir, of sorts, about her faith journey and how it has led her to be the first openly LGBTQ person to serve as a bishop in the global denomination of The United Methodist Church. And she leans on the family dinner table to serve as her example of answering these questions while building community and unity. Growing up, the dinner table was where life's questions and answers happened, where conflict arose and was resolved, where bonds were formed and strengthened. The communion table of Christ serves the same purpose for us in the Church that has the questions above. Breaking bread together breaks down walls to build bridges.
Oliveto serves up dish after dish of grace, empathy, and love in her stories of ministry through the years, what she personally learned from situations, and what she believes we all could do better at. She shares the efforts she and others, specifically within the United Methodist denomination, are engaged in to ensure LGBTQ are seen and treated as equals. Full stop.
Does Karen answer the questions? Yes, in the theoretical. What will take the answers from theory to reality is dependant on each person. We each must be willing to be humble and remember the humanity of others.
November 4, 2018
I have known Karen personally for frankly I do not know how long, and she is a woman of courage. Beneath her outward appearance of charm, happiness, there is much pain. She has faced rejection, and discrimination and has moved through it as a witness.
The United Methodist Church is a homophobic institution. The Weslyan Theology has shaped my ministry and my life, and my own personal experience while painful lead me to a life and ministry that is fulfilling. For other gay and lesbian UMC ministers it has been destructive and for young men and women it is death dealing to hear you are "intrinsically evil." It took me years to work through that term, it was psychologically destructive for me to be told that is what I participated in, and for others it has lead to alienation from God, suicide and psychological damage.
Karen is the one, that my last District Superintendent once said would "rise up and stand in the winds of the storm, and transform the church," she is that one, she is a prophet who is suffering to in order that others might live.
What is sad is that once this is resolved, the church will move on, and not remember those who have suffered, and died as a result of that homophobia. So many have suffered and died.
Karen is my blood! I hold her in the highest of respect and admiration!
Fr. River Damien Sims, D.Min.
P.O. Box 642656
San Francisco, CA 94164
www.temenos.org
415-305-2124
The United Methodist Church is a homophobic institution. The Weslyan Theology has shaped my ministry and my life, and my own personal experience while painful lead me to a life and ministry that is fulfilling. For other gay and lesbian UMC ministers it has been destructive and for young men and women it is death dealing to hear you are "intrinsically evil." It took me years to work through that term, it was psychologically destructive for me to be told that is what I participated in, and for others it has lead to alienation from God, suicide and psychological damage.
Karen is the one, that my last District Superintendent once said would "rise up and stand in the winds of the storm, and transform the church," she is that one, she is a prophet who is suffering to in order that others might live.
What is sad is that once this is resolved, the church will move on, and not remember those who have suffered, and died as a result of that homophobia. So many have suffered and died.
Karen is my blood! I hold her in the highest of respect and admiration!
Fr. River Damien Sims, D.Min.
P.O. Box 642656
San Francisco, CA 94164
www.temenos.org
415-305-2124
September 19, 2018
I've always been fascinate by clergy because even though I've long served in ministry at my church, I've never felt that deep calling that those in the clergy have felt.
Reading about an openly gay bishop was enlightening and I appreciated Karen's candor in describing the prejudices she has experienced within her own faith community. Indeed, the United Methodist Church is much more progressive in addressing LGBTQ issues than my own Catholic faith does even though I once attended a Catholic parish that was unofficially referred to as "the gay Catholic church". I wish I had taken the time when I was at that parish to discuss with my friends what it was like to be a gay Catholic.
Speaking of being Catholic, I have to admit to being a little annoyed that when Karen wrote that her congregation was made up of people of all faiths, she included "recovering" Catholics...she didn't include adjectives for any of the other faiths she mentioned, and in the spirit of her wanting us to think of people as not "other", I thought this was unnecessary.
All in all, Karen's message is that we are all children of God who deserve to be loved and we must welcome everyone to God's table to realize we are all more alike than we are different.
Reading about an openly gay bishop was enlightening and I appreciated Karen's candor in describing the prejudices she has experienced within her own faith community. Indeed, the United Methodist Church is much more progressive in addressing LGBTQ issues than my own Catholic faith does even though I once attended a Catholic parish that was unofficially referred to as "the gay Catholic church". I wish I had taken the time when I was at that parish to discuss with my friends what it was like to be a gay Catholic.
Speaking of being Catholic, I have to admit to being a little annoyed that when Karen wrote that her congregation was made up of people of all faiths, she included "recovering" Catholics...she didn't include adjectives for any of the other faiths she mentioned, and in the spirit of her wanting us to think of people as not "other", I thought this was unnecessary.
All in all, Karen's message is that we are all children of God who deserve to be loved and we must welcome everyone to God's table to realize we are all more alike than we are different.
August 1, 2018
When I saw this book listed on NetGalley, I jumped at the chance to read and review it. I have been a United Methodist my entire life, and have been following the news about Bishop Oliveto very closely. It was wonderful to read her story in her own words.
She reveals her struggles to reconcile her faith and her denomination with her sexual orientation, to be inclusive and open to diversity as the senior pastor at Glide Memorial in San Francisco, and to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights in our denomination.
I was shocked and saddened by some of the statistics provided in the first chapter about how important family dinner time can be to teens, and how they are negatively impacted by the lack of it (as part of her analogy of the church as a place where we all meet at the table, as in taking Communion).
That analogy continues throughout the book, and Bishop Oliveto shares several times when literal meetings at a table, with everyone willing to talk, listen and attempt to understand everyone else, brought about awesome results.
One of my favorite quotes from this book is "I believe that we are currently facing an empathy deficit in this country and, unfortunately, also in the church." I see it in so many places--race, gender, economic class, religious beliefs and other things are used to divide into "us" and "them." And unfortunately, it is encouraged and enabled by many in authority.
Bishop Oliveto makes it clear that she loves her church and her denomination, and that the infighting over whether to include or exclude non-heterosexuals hurts her heart not only for herself but for all of us. Inclusion and learning about those who are different from us are vital to protecting the denomination and not seeing it splinter.
Highly recommend this book to everyone!!
She reveals her struggles to reconcile her faith and her denomination with her sexual orientation, to be inclusive and open to diversity as the senior pastor at Glide Memorial in San Francisco, and to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights in our denomination.
I was shocked and saddened by some of the statistics provided in the first chapter about how important family dinner time can be to teens, and how they are negatively impacted by the lack of it (as part of her analogy of the church as a place where we all meet at the table, as in taking Communion).
That analogy continues throughout the book, and Bishop Oliveto shares several times when literal meetings at a table, with everyone willing to talk, listen and attempt to understand everyone else, brought about awesome results.
One of my favorite quotes from this book is "I believe that we are currently facing an empathy deficit in this country and, unfortunately, also in the church." I see it in so many places--race, gender, economic class, religious beliefs and other things are used to divide into "us" and "them." And unfortunately, it is encouraged and enabled by many in authority.
Bishop Oliveto makes it clear that she loves her church and her denomination, and that the infighting over whether to include or exclude non-heterosexuals hurts her heart not only for herself but for all of us. Inclusion and learning about those who are different from us are vital to protecting the denomination and not seeing it splinter.
Highly recommend this book to everyone!!
December 29, 2019
This was an excellent book. Bishop Oliveto writes with clarity and beauty. I had to smile, tears came to my eyes, I whispered "Amen," and shouted "YES!" It is, of course, heavily Methodist, but the message is for all Christians. But why stop there? Bishop Oliveto tells us she ministered to Buddhists, Sikhs, Muslims, agnostics, and atheists. Anyone searching for unity will find warm and caring words in this book. Bishop Oliveto talks about the problem with seeing only two sides - black/white, male/female and that one side has to be right or stronger. She said the problem with that is there are more than two sides, and forget about shades of gray. Throw the black and white crayons out and open the crayon box to all the colors in the box. Since God created a world with so much diversity, isn't it reasonable to assume that he also created the human species with diversity? And she reminded us that it is not OUR table, it is God's table. It is not for us to decide who is welcome and who is excluded.
August 27, 2018
For such a time as this! I could not be more thankful for Bishop Oliveto's work. This book is an accessible and engaging walk through a journey of empathy and vulnerability, with plenty of guideposts to help others along the way. At its heart is a message best summarized by a beloved Sunday School teacher of mine: "I need you, and you need me, and we need each other DESPERATELY!" Whether you're concerned about the future of The United Methodist Church, or just trying to figure out how to be a loving and engaged neighbor, this book is for you.
As a pastor of a federated UCC-UMC church, I can't wait to share and discuss with congregants this fall. Thank you, Bishop!
As a pastor of a federated UCC-UMC church, I can't wait to share and discuss with congregants this fall. Thank you, Bishop!
September 4, 2018
Together at the Table is both a memoir and a theory for the future of the church.
Karen Oliveto is the first openly gay Bishop in The United Methodist Church. The book tells her story of finding Christ and finding herself in Christ. We get an intimate look into her life, faith, and her struggle. She shows us churches that serve the least of these and she encourages the inclusion of everyone. She does not turn away from the doubters and welcomes them to her open and diverse table.
Oliveto speaks to me through her novel because what she describes is a church I want to attend. I am not part of the LGBT community but I want to welcome them with open arms. I want to sit at the table with them. Oliveto points out a way this can happen and gives me hope for a true love they neighbor to church.
I encourage anyone who has any doubt that the LGBT population isn't Christian and don't hold a strong Faith with the Lord. Open your heart and come to the table.
I received an ARC from NetGalley; all opinions are my own.
Karen Oliveto is the first openly gay Bishop in The United Methodist Church. The book tells her story of finding Christ and finding herself in Christ. We get an intimate look into her life, faith, and her struggle. She shows us churches that serve the least of these and she encourages the inclusion of everyone. She does not turn away from the doubters and welcomes them to her open and diverse table.
Oliveto speaks to me through her novel because what she describes is a church I want to attend. I am not part of the LGBT community but I want to welcome them with open arms. I want to sit at the table with them. Oliveto points out a way this can happen and gives me hope for a true love they neighbor to church.
I encourage anyone who has any doubt that the LGBT population isn't Christian and don't hold a strong Faith with the Lord. Open your heart and come to the table.
I received an ARC from NetGalley; all opinions are my own.
November 3, 2018
Karen Oliveto is the first openly LGBTQ bishop in The United Methodist Church. Her story touches on one of society's and church's deepest divisions. In order to know Rev. Oliveto beyond my own frame of reference, I chose to begin by reading her book. I will continue scaling the "empathy wall" even if it makes me uncomfortable, even if I can find no certainties. The deepest gift of empathy, I believe, is to love even when you don't fully understand. If I am in error, at least I have erred on the side of grace.
January 7, 2019
Bishop Karen Olivet has been part of The United Methodist Church all of her life. She has struggled with the church’s policies regarding the LGBTQ community. She feels that excluding groups of people does not model God’s love for all people. She shares her experiences of being in community with diverse people and the blessings that have come from it.
I appreciated her thoughts and points of view. It has pushed on the boundaries of my own faith viewpoints in a good way. I would recommend this book.
I appreciated her thoughts and points of view. It has pushed on the boundaries of my own faith viewpoints in a good way. I would recommend this book.
September 3, 2018
Together at the Table: Diversity without Division in The United Methodist Church.
Together at the Table is one woman's tale which vascularizes history-in-the-making.
Truly, a butterfly burp is heard around the world and has consequences for thereafter.
Minister and author Oliveto is a modern-day heroine. A true role model. One who has suffered to live a life of integrity, according to personal truth.
Together at the Table is one woman's tale which vascularizes history-in-the-making.
Truly, a butterfly burp is heard around the world and has consequences for thereafter.
Minister and author Oliveto is a modern-day heroine. A true role model. One who has suffered to live a life of integrity, according to personal truth.
September 20, 2019
Five stars for the story and the importance of the story, not necessarily for the organization and writing. The message is more important. This is part memoir, part theology, part sermon. While specific to the current dissension in the United (?) Methodist Church, the humanity and search for Truth in the book make it relevant beyond denomination or institution.
November 11, 2021
Not a bad read - it mostly functions as an apologetic for the progressive church but there is a challenge at the end for an even more inclusive table, one that welcomes all including conservative folk we disagree with. Communion is still a transformation making moment that can break down barriers and remind us that we are welcome and belong at Christ's table no.matter.what.
July 31, 2018
I won this in a Goodreads giveaway.
Though I am not a Christian, I was impressed by this book. I only wish more leaders of religious communities were as open and welcoming.
Though I am not a Christian, I was impressed by this book. I only wish more leaders of religious communities were as open and welcoming.
August 11, 2018
Bishop Oliveto's message is spot on, it is timely, and it was convicting.
November 21, 2018
I laughed, I cried, I found myself on every page. Very important book.
April 2, 2019
This book gave me great insight into the life of this pastor. She makes many strong arguments about loving others and coming together as children of God.
December 26, 2019
Lots of perspective and ideas to think about.
August 19, 2019
Grace, empathy, compassion. How do we come to the table together and stay even when we are so very different? We open our hearts to our holy siblings, truly listen to each other and value our commonality without demonizing those with whom we disagree.
Thank you Bishop Karen, for your open hearted teaching.
Thank you Bishop Karen, for your open hearted teaching.
April 30, 2019
Bishop Karen Oliveto wrote this wonderful book about being the first openly lesbian bishop in the Methodist Church. This book gave me a lot of hope for the future of churches and the LGBTQ community in general and as individuals. Since the writing of this book, however, the Methodist church has voted to reject a proposal to accept LGBTQ bishops and same-sex marriage. I am not sure what that will do to Bishop Oliveto and I will be watching the news, and her, to see what happens next.
July 20, 2021
I read this book not knowing what exactly I was getting into. I knew that it was based on a non-denominational church and a Bishop who is fighting for the inclusion for all persons. Being a member of the LGBTQ community doesn't mean less or more. It means wanting to have the ability to fit in.
For some, they define normal. Normal to me is nothing. Nothing is normal. We all have our quirks. For Bishop Oliveto standing up for the people, standing up for herself, dealing with threats of violence, bigotry, wondering what is going to happen from moment to moment. Her courage is a wonderment and deserves accolades.
I'm going to wait until February. I have friends who are Methodist, have been members their whole lives. They are rooting for the continuing education into the lives of the members. That they will learn. That they will continue to be educated in LGBTQ learnings. To know there is no difference. We are all one and the same. Love truly is love.
For some, they define normal. Normal to me is nothing. Nothing is normal. We all have our quirks. For Bishop Oliveto standing up for the people, standing up for herself, dealing with threats of violence, bigotry, wondering what is going to happen from moment to moment. Her courage is a wonderment and deserves accolades.
I'm going to wait until February. I have friends who are Methodist, have been members their whole lives. They are rooting for the continuing education into the lives of the members. That they will learn. That they will continue to be educated in LGBTQ learnings. To know there is no difference. We are all one and the same. Love truly is love.
January 20, 2019
This was an interesting read from the autors perspective. As a United Methodist myself I really enjoyed getting to know how this Pastor got to where she is. This opened my eyes to somethings about the LGBTQIA+ community and the church together that I had never really thought about before.
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