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Finding Our Way Home
Finding Our Way Home: Women's Accounts of Being Sent to Boarding School shares the personal stories of sixteen women, all whom were sent away to board at an early age. Their accounts delve into the depths of long suppressed emotions and feelings, and the lifelong impact that the early separation from their families has had.
Much attention has been lavished on the impact of so-called 'boarding school syndrome' on male borders, but less so their female counterparts. This book is the first to explore the experience from a purely female perspective, and offers an intriguing insight into the world of boarding schools and the upbringing of girls born in the mid-to late 20th century.
Finding Our Way Home is a book for everyone who ever attended boarding school, as well as psychotherapists and counsellors working with boarding school survivors.
Much attention has been lavished on the impact of so-called 'boarding school syndrome' on male borders, but less so their female counterparts. This book is the first to explore the experience from a purely female perspective, and offers an intriguing insight into the world of boarding schools and the upbringing of girls born in the mid-to late 20th century.
Finding Our Way Home is a book for everyone who ever attended boarding school, as well as psychotherapists and counsellors working with boarding school survivors.
158 pages, Paperback
First published July 16, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
July 6, 2023
Finding Our Way Home takes a look at women's experiences in boarding schools. I picked this up because I had a rather unusual experience of boarding school (long story) and am always looking for that elusive boarding school story that matches, or even has anything to do with, my own experience.
This is not that book. And that's fine, but it's a really specific book in and of itself: it's by women who had bad to horrible experiences in British boarding schools. The author writes in the introduction that This is not to make claim that all girls who boarded were unhappy at school – although I would suggest that any primary aged child would likely be adversely affected – and some girls have in fact been very fulfilled. But the women who contacted me to share their stories were very clearly not (xvii).
Many of the stories are interesting, and many of the stories are sad. But on the whole, the book feels like something of an advertisement for the Boarding School Survivors organization—through which Simpson found many of the contributors to the book (...others pledge that they're going to go to the BSS workshop soon). It's not a balanced book, and while obviously that's fine, by the middle of the book I was wondering whether the reason that the only women who contacted Simpson were ones who had been unhappy at school was simply because the only women she asked were ones who had been unhappy at school.
In any case, probably a better fit for someone who went to a British girls' school (1), most likely in the 60s or 70s rather than in the present day (2), had a dreadful time of it (3), and possibly thinks the Boarding School Survivors organization would also be a good fit (4). If any three of these apply, the book will likely feel more on point to you than it did to me.
This is not that book. And that's fine, but it's a really specific book in and of itself: it's by women who had bad to horrible experiences in British boarding schools. The author writes in the introduction that This is not to make claim that all girls who boarded were unhappy at school – although I would suggest that any primary aged child would likely be adversely affected – and some girls have in fact been very fulfilled. But the women who contacted me to share their stories were very clearly not (xvii).
Many of the stories are interesting, and many of the stories are sad. But on the whole, the book feels like something of an advertisement for the Boarding School Survivors organization—through which Simpson found many of the contributors to the book (...others pledge that they're going to go to the BSS workshop soon). It's not a balanced book, and while obviously that's fine, by the middle of the book I was wondering whether the reason that the only women who contacted Simpson were ones who had been unhappy at school was simply because the only women she asked were ones who had been unhappy at school.
In any case, probably a better fit for someone who went to a British girls' school (1), most likely in the 60s or 70s rather than in the present day (2), had a dreadful time of it (3), and possibly thinks the Boarding School Survivors organization would also be a good fit (4). If any three of these apply, the book will likely feel more on point to you than it did to me.
December 4, 2018
A powerful and poignant book about the heart-wrenching emotions experience by girls when they are sent away to boarding school, written by women who went to boarding school at a young age.
February 26, 2020
This was an amazing book from every standpoint - beautiful writing, setting scenes long forgotten and rendered anew. These 16 story tellers don’t mince words when they tell it like it was and is. They evoke a clear view of the life of girls as boarders and show how the experience also effects adulthood. “However well-meaning adults in such institutions may be, they do not love the child, so the child must learn to live without love...” a quote that epitomizes the theme. They demonstrate the development of the Survivor Personality and beg the need for integration and authenticity in adulthood. Nikki Simpson has done a brilliant job of selecting and including the women who write the essays. The book is bracketed by an introduction by Joy Schaverien, a leading senior therapist on the boarding school syndrome and Pippa Foster who write an Afterward; A psychotherapist’s reflections. The essayists are youngish and older, remarkably Jo Trotter who writes “Sometimes” is a grandmother reflecting on her childhood. Multi-generational boarders are also discussed. “The Trunk” by Margaret Laughton is symbolic of the whole leaving home and returning to school emotional quagmire that boarders were subjected to. “Give and Take by Alison Higgs and “The story of the little girl lost” by Colette Knight are also outstanding as are all the stories. I recommend this book to anyone even peripherally involved with a boarder, although it is noted that many former boarders marry former boarders, but especially to former boarders.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews