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Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls
Parenting is a school for spiritual formation―and our children are our teachers. The journey of caring for, rearing, training, and loving our children will profoundly alter us forever.Sacred Parenting is unlike any other parenting book you have ever read. This is not a “how-to” book that teaches you ways to discipline your kids or help them achieve their full potential. Instead of discussing how parents can change their kids, Sacred Parenting turns the tables and demonstrates how God uses our kids to change us.You’ve read all the method books. Now take a step back and receive some much-needed inspiration. You’ll be encouraged by stories that tell how other parents handled the challenges and difficulties of being a parent―and how their children transformed their relationship with God. Sacred Parenting affirms the spiritual value of being a parent, showing you the holy potential of the parent-child relationship.
240 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2004
331 people are currently reading
3195 people want to read
About the author
Gary L. Thomas
62 books646 followersGary Thomas is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He unites the study of Scripture, church history, and the Christian classics to foster spiritual growth and deeper relationships within the Christian community.
Gary is the author of 20 books, including "Sacred Marriage" and "Cherish", that together have sold over two million copies, have been translated into more than a dozen languages, and won numerous awards . His writings have established him as a thought-leader in the areas of marriage, parenting, and spiritual formation.
Gary holds a B.A. in English Literature from Western Washington University, an MA degree in systematic theology from Regent College (Vancouver, BC), and an honorary Doctor of Divinity degree from Western Seminary (Portland, OR).
He serves on the teaching team (and as Writer in Residence) at Second Baptist Church, Houston—a congregation with six campuses and 70,000 members—and is an adjunct faculty member at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon and Houston Theological Seminary in Houston Texas.
Gary’s speaking ministry has led him to speak in 49 states and nine different countries, and on numerous national television and radio programs, including multiple appearances on Focus on the Family and Family Life Today. Gary’s interviews on Focus on the Family have been chosen among the “Best of 2013,” “Best of 2014” and “Best of 2017.” Gary is a lifelong advocate of using the Christian classics to bring people closer to Christ.
Gary enjoys running in his spare time and has completed 14 marathons, including the Boston Marathon three times. He and his wife Lisa have been married for 35 years and they have three adult children and the smartest, cutest, most adorable granddaughter on the planet.
Gary Thomas – Bringing people closer to Christ and closer to others.
Gary is the author of 20 books, including "Sacred Marriage" and "Cherish", that together have sold over two million copies, have been translated into more than a dozen languages, and won numerous awards . His writings have established him as a thought-leader in the areas of marriage, parenting, and spiritual formation.
Gary holds a B.A. in English Literature from Western Washington University, an MA degree in systematic theology from Regent College (Vancouver, BC), and an honorary Doctor of Divinity degree from Western Seminary (Portland, OR).
He serves on the teaching team (and as Writer in Residence) at Second Baptist Church, Houston—a congregation with six campuses and 70,000 members—and is an adjunct faculty member at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon and Houston Theological Seminary in Houston Texas.
Gary’s speaking ministry has led him to speak in 49 states and nine different countries, and on numerous national television and radio programs, including multiple appearances on Focus on the Family and Family Life Today. Gary’s interviews on Focus on the Family have been chosen among the “Best of 2013,” “Best of 2014” and “Best of 2017.” Gary is a lifelong advocate of using the Christian classics to bring people closer to Christ.
Gary enjoys running in his spare time and has completed 14 marathons, including the Boston Marathon three times. He and his wife Lisa have been married for 35 years and they have three adult children and the smartest, cutest, most adorable granddaughter on the planet.
Gary Thomas – Bringing people closer to Christ and closer to others.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 185 reviews
May 25, 2013
This book was lent to me by an acquaintance who said that the premise is all about how much parents suffer when they raise children and how that suffering makes said parents more Christ-like than non-parents. My reaction was a mix of "Um, I don't have kids? Why are you pushing this book on me?" and "Wow, if this book is about how all Christians must have kids in order to attain spiritual maturity, then no thanks." (Since I completely disagree with the view that many Christian circles hold in which marriage and kids somehow automatically level up one's relationship with God.)
However, I didn't want to be rude, so I thought I'd just give the book a shot and that way at least have an informed dissenting opinion about it. :) Thankfully, however, Thomas's book is nothing at all like the way my acquaintance represented it. Yes, he touches on unique kinds of sacrifices and heartaches that parents undergo, but he points out that these are not automatic character builders -- people need to make the *choice* to allow such trials to shape them in positive ways. Moreover, he acknowledges repeatedly that parenting is only one way through which God shapes character, not The Best Way or The Only Way. As someone who currently doesn't have children, I appreciated that sensitivity.
The main thrust of the book is actually that while Christian parenting is in part about guiding, shaping, and caring for children, the act itself can also shape and guide the soul of the parent. I particularly liked how Thomas writes about children as fellow pilgrims in the Christian journey who have much to teach their parents about joy and trust; in fact, the entire book was way more respectful to kids than the whole "children make you suffer" paradigm allows for.
A couple personal critiques -- Thomas's social conservatism shows through several times in the book (i.e. when he scoffs at parents who worked to get dodgeball removed as a phys ed activity as "NPR-listening, Starbucks-[guzzlers]") and leads him at times to make broad and somewhat ungenerous sweeping generalizations about other parents. Also, most of his examples are personal/anecdotal. While it was really lovely to read about his own children and his relationship with them (I liked how he always pointed out and celebrated the unique differences in his kids' personalities), this approach did make the book feel less researched/intellectual and it also meant that there was a distinct lack of a balancing female perspective. Thomas tries to address the latter by citing female authors on motherhood, but he only really quotes from three sources (one of whom is Iris Krasnow, toward whose writing I have pretty ambivalent feelings), which again leaves the book feeling less academically rigorous than it could have been.
Overall -- I appreciate that this isn't really a "how-to" manual on parenting and that Thomas really celebrates the wonderful parts of parenting without overly sentimentalizing it (thus avoiding falling into the usual traps of the I-haven't-slept-in-1000-years-children-are-terrible expose on the one hand or the parenting-is-the-most-fulfilling-thing-I've-ever-done-I-wasn't-a-true-human-being sanctimony on the other). I thought this book was much stronger than his Sacred Marriage, and is a perspective that I'd probably re-visit if I ever become a parent.
However, I didn't want to be rude, so I thought I'd just give the book a shot and that way at least have an informed dissenting opinion about it. :) Thankfully, however, Thomas's book is nothing at all like the way my acquaintance represented it. Yes, he touches on unique kinds of sacrifices and heartaches that parents undergo, but he points out that these are not automatic character builders -- people need to make the *choice* to allow such trials to shape them in positive ways. Moreover, he acknowledges repeatedly that parenting is only one way through which God shapes character, not The Best Way or The Only Way. As someone who currently doesn't have children, I appreciated that sensitivity.
The main thrust of the book is actually that while Christian parenting is in part about guiding, shaping, and caring for children, the act itself can also shape and guide the soul of the parent. I particularly liked how Thomas writes about children as fellow pilgrims in the Christian journey who have much to teach their parents about joy and trust; in fact, the entire book was way more respectful to kids than the whole "children make you suffer" paradigm allows for.
A couple personal critiques -- Thomas's social conservatism shows through several times in the book (i.e. when he scoffs at parents who worked to get dodgeball removed as a phys ed activity as "NPR-listening, Starbucks-[guzzlers]") and leads him at times to make broad and somewhat ungenerous sweeping generalizations about other parents. Also, most of his examples are personal/anecdotal. While it was really lovely to read about his own children and his relationship with them (I liked how he always pointed out and celebrated the unique differences in his kids' personalities), this approach did make the book feel less researched/intellectual and it also meant that there was a distinct lack of a balancing female perspective. Thomas tries to address the latter by citing female authors on motherhood, but he only really quotes from three sources (one of whom is Iris Krasnow, toward whose writing I have pretty ambivalent feelings), which again leaves the book feeling less academically rigorous than it could have been.
Overall -- I appreciate that this isn't really a "how-to" manual on parenting and that Thomas really celebrates the wonderful parts of parenting without overly sentimentalizing it (thus avoiding falling into the usual traps of the I-haven't-slept-in-1000-years-children-are-terrible expose on the one hand or the parenting-is-the-most-fulfilling-thing-I've-ever-done-I-wasn't-a-true-human-being sanctimony on the other). I thought this book was much stronger than his Sacred Marriage, and is a perspective that I'd probably re-visit if I ever become a parent.
April 5, 2013
Over the course of my life I've read a lot of books on marriage and parenting and how to get a perfect life in 10 easy steps. This is not one of those books and I loved it. Each chapter left me with hope, not a list of do's and don'ts. I must admit that I cried through each chapter, some out of laughter, some were tears of release and remembering. This book takes you from those early days of sleepless nights with a newborn to letting your kids go. Everything is looked at from the perspective of the act of parenting one of God's children and its ability to draw us closer to Him. Parenting is tough, there is no book in the world that can make it easier to navigate, but this one sheds light on the truth that God has ordained parenting and gives us the grace to do it well.
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September 6, 2023
The most important task is to prepare our children for the day when they stand alone before God and answer to God.
An easy read that felt like it took me a while. Lots of biblical truth on what the call to parenting is and ways of sanctification that I can already see playing out. A sacred calling indeed!
An easy read that felt like it took me a while. Lots of biblical truth on what the call to parenting is and ways of sanctification that I can already see playing out. A sacred calling indeed!
April 19, 2015
Maybe reading Sacred marriage first took a little of the shine off this book for me, in that Thomas has a similar theme running through both books - God uses marriage and parenting to form our character, and draw us closer to him. However, there was enough new insights in this book to rate it highly. I think the one that challenged me most, was to enjoy my kids, and be thankful for who they are, rather than critiquing them for what they should be. Definitely brings a different perspective on parenting than "how-to" books.
April 28, 2009
"Mothers and fathers, when you give your tiny infant a bath, you are washing God's baby. When you minister to that youngster, can you imagine God smiling down at you? When you fix that hungry six-year-old a peanut butter sandwich, you are feeding one of God's children. Listen carefully -- you may hear God laughing in pleasure. When you hug an adolescent whom other have teased mercilessly at school, you are comforting God's teenager. Are those God's tears dampening your shoulder?" (221).
March 8, 2013
This is the second book I've read by Gary Thomas, and just like the first one, it was FANTASTIC. His approach to parenting is refreshing and new - that it's not about what we should do and how we shape our kids but about how having kids allows God to shape us.
Contrary to other parenting books I've read, I was able to fully connect with every single chapter and found great value in his consistent reminder that my focus should be on what God is doing in me through my kids.
Contrary to other parenting books I've read, I was able to fully connect with every single chapter and found great value in his consistent reminder that my focus should be on what God is doing in me through my kids.
April 6, 2011
If you have a child, ever intend to have a child or have ever been a child...this book is for you. LOVED it!!! Literally, I laughed, I cried, but most importantly, the Lord used it to deepen my understanding of how much He loves me and therefore I am called to love my child and all His other children.
November 19, 2016
Exceptional book. The writing is clear and colloquial, and the information is priceless. The caveat, personally, is all examples--it was excessive to me--though some might actually appreciate them. For me, it felt like work trying to find substantial material. But when I found it, it was deep, rich, and worth the wait.
June 22, 2023
Love, love, love this book and it was just what I needed! I read it with my husband and we really enjoyed it. 💞
Gary Thomas brings out pieces of God’s character in ways I hadn’t ever thought of before!
A few of my favorite lines. I will add many more later!
✨ It is inconceivable to think that God would give us so much to do, that it would detract from our time with Him.
✨Because the act came from listening, he was never tempted to take God’s credit.
✨Only rarely do we find something so right, and so fulfilling that you know you shouldn’t be doing anything else. 💞
✨The family breaks down when we don’t slow down and enjoy each other. Enjoying your family is one of the most profound gifts God offers 💕
✨Some people are all about effort, all about sacrifice, but they are also stuck in a rut that makes them joyless and miserable. This type of life does not adequately describe the character of our God. ❤️
✨The more time, energy, and effort we put into our family, the more we hold it dear. 😍
✨There is no joy like God’s joy, there is no family like God’s family
✨ We stand on dangerous ground if we ever let service to God crowd our way of listening to God
✨ Care less about image, and more about substance ♥️
Gary Thomas brings out pieces of God’s character in ways I hadn’t ever thought of before!
A few of my favorite lines. I will add many more later!
✨ It is inconceivable to think that God would give us so much to do, that it would detract from our time with Him.
✨Because the act came from listening, he was never tempted to take God’s credit.
✨Only rarely do we find something so right, and so fulfilling that you know you shouldn’t be doing anything else. 💞
✨The family breaks down when we don’t slow down and enjoy each other. Enjoying your family is one of the most profound gifts God offers 💕
✨Some people are all about effort, all about sacrifice, but they are also stuck in a rut that makes them joyless and miserable. This type of life does not adequately describe the character of our God. ❤️
✨The more time, energy, and effort we put into our family, the more we hold it dear. 😍
✨There is no joy like God’s joy, there is no family like God’s family
✨ We stand on dangerous ground if we ever let service to God crowd our way of listening to God
✨ Care less about image, and more about substance ♥️
April 18, 2023
What I loved about this book is that it’s not a “how-to-parent” book, the author even mentions that at the beginning of the book. Rather, it’s a book that helps you see how parenting can change and affect you from a Godly perspective. I enjoyed it, and it brought comfort, encouragement and reassurance during some of the challenging days as a first time mom.
August 12, 2013
Not a parenting book, per se, but a must read.
Helped me to understand how my the parent-child relationship (and the love therein) with my children mirrors the Parent-child relationship with God.
Not having had grown up with a father figure, it was very difficult for me to understand how to love God as "The" Father....seeing as how I had no knowledge of what a daughter/father was like. I still don't, but in reading this book, I think it's the closest I'm ever going to get.
It flips the role of teacher (parent)/ student (child), to teacher (child)/student (parent) through a deeper examination of seemingly common, everyday situations.
It's all about pointing out how iron is sharpening iron.
I fell a gazillion times more in love with my sons and what a blessing being their mom has been so far.
Helped me to understand how my the parent-child relationship (and the love therein) with my children mirrors the Parent-child relationship with God.
Not having had grown up with a father figure, it was very difficult for me to understand how to love God as "The" Father....seeing as how I had no knowledge of what a daughter/father was like. I still don't, but in reading this book, I think it's the closest I'm ever going to get.
It flips the role of teacher (parent)/ student (child), to teacher (child)/student (parent) through a deeper examination of seemingly common, everyday situations.
It's all about pointing out how iron is sharpening iron.
I fell a gazillion times more in love with my sons and what a blessing being their mom has been so far.
April 28, 2019
A must-read for Christian parents and parents-to-be. As a mother of a 7-month old, this book met me where I’m at in my parenting journey, but also cleared the pathway of my mind regarding what is to come—it did this much better than any book regarding baby sleep, eating, schedules, and the like.
Parenting is the most painful thing I’ve ever done. It’s been harder than losing my own parent a couple years ago. My husband and I have never wished we could “return” our daughter, but there have been some very tough days, weeks, and months.
Thomas’ demonstration of the sacredness of parenting has strengthened my resolve to allow God—through the parenting of my little girl—to shape my soul for His glory and my good.
Parenting is the most painful thing I’ve ever done. It’s been harder than losing my own parent a couple years ago. My husband and I have never wished we could “return” our daughter, but there have been some very tough days, weeks, and months.
Thomas’ demonstration of the sacredness of parenting has strengthened my resolve to allow God—through the parenting of my little girl—to shape my soul for His glory and my good.
December 28, 2011
Overall, I found this a helpful book. Unlike many parenting books in its field, it discusses the way that God uses parenting changes us as parents, rather than placing an emphasis on how it is a parents duty to change their children. A lot of thought provoking material, but nothing extrememly profound.
What I take major issue with in this book is the author’s writing parenting into Christ on the cross. (My husband refers to this as "hijacking the redemptive story.") Thomas is certainly not the first to do so, and most assuredly will not be the last.
What I take major issue with in this book is the author’s writing parenting into Christ on the cross. (My husband refers to this as "hijacking the redemptive story.") Thomas is certainly not the first to do so, and most assuredly will not be the last.
March 21, 2008
We were given this book when our first child was born. Thomas challenges us to be aware of how the trials and joys of raising children bless us with pictures into our relationship with God. This is gained by experiencing God as parent, modeling God to our children, modeling repentence and our walk with God to our children, developing empathy for them in their struggles, etc.
An excellent work.
An excellent work.
April 15, 2014
Parenting is not easy, but it is one of God's ways of sanctifying us. The challenges of dying to self and serving someone else keep us humble and depending on Him to enable us to do the task. Thomas addresses the various ways that parenting helps us see "it's not about me", helping us to look beyond life's superficialities to the more meaningful elements. Great book to inspire and encourage thoughtful parents. Not for those looking for a three-step plan to obedient offspring!
November 1, 2012
One of my all time favorites! This is not a guide to parenting, it's more about how God transforms us into His image through parenting our children.
May 25, 2014
As a new parent, this gave me a new perspective on parenting. That parenting is not just for the kids, but that God also uses it to make us more like Christ. It was both challenging and comforting.
April 16, 2023
Read this book with our Bible Study, which it was great to dive in deeper with them and discuss each chapter. I appreciate how Thomas points to the importance of the legacy of parenting. It’s not so much the exact discipline style or what food they eat or when their bedtime is, but instead the values and truth you instill in your children. He points us to a higher calling, that we are raising the next generation of believers, and this starts with a heart change in us.
August 24, 2025
Put down for a while, finally came back to finish. Rather than teaching about parenting, this book is a look at how parenting is, in fact, a sacred enterprise. It is a unique tool that God uses to shape us. A little long winded in places but worth examining not just how I’m shaping my child, but how being a parent can (and does) shape me.
April 12, 2021
Sacred Marriage is one of my favorite books on marriage so when I saw this book it was a no-brainer to get it. It did not disappoint! I appreciate his perspective on life and found such an encouragement to view parenting through a different lens. Definitely recommend!
July 18, 2020
This book made me cry several times and inspired me to parent with eternity in mind. I highly recommend!
June 7, 2023
A Study Guide is available for free from the author's web site
https://garythomas.com/books/sacred-p...
https://garythomas.com/books/sacred-p...
September 1, 2020
Instead of adding the the countless number of "how-to" parenting books, the author paints the beautiful picture of how the experience of parenting is meant to change our lives as parents, which in return should impact our children for God.
The last chapter really brought tears to my eyes as I was able to relate with the character, having lost my father at a young age. But just like the individual in the book, my father's example of faith inspired me to continue this journey.
The last chapter really brought tears to my eyes as I was able to relate with the character, having lost my father at a young age. But just like the individual in the book, my father's example of faith inspired me to continue this journey.
December 20, 2013
This book takes a look into the challenging, rewarding, life changing, expensive undertaking we know as “parenting.” Instead of “Self-Help” direction, it advises parents to look, listen, yield and submit to what God is saying and doing through the dynamics between parent and child. God established parent/child relationships for His good purpose; He works in individuals through all aspects of life, so why wouldn’t He use our most intimate connections to bear the greatest impact.
“The truth is, we are living in the midst of holy teachers. Sometimes they spit us on themselves or us. Sometimes they throw tantrums. Sometimes they cuddle and kiss and love us. In the good and the bad they mold our hearts, shape our souls, and invite us to experience God in newer and deeper ways.”
The book goes through various situations in life with children where God opens a window to eternal views of us all, as children of God…so we recognize the things that matter to God, what will endure through the Refiner’s Fire.
Parenting is Part of a Spiritual Journey: “Christian parenting is truly a sacred journey. It invites us parents to purify ourselves, to use the process of raising kids to perfect holiness, and to do this consistently, every day, out of reverence for God. If we enter it armed with this understanding, each segment will gain new meaning and purpose – even the difficult ones.”
A Tool to Pry Open Our Brokenness: “The process of parenting does two simultaneous yet contradictory things: It gives us unparalleled power, while also making us nakedly vulnerable. …The pain, the vulnerability, will never completely leave a parent’s soul. In man ways, it takes a tremendous act of courage to become a father or mother and expose yourself to such a threat.” Yet the brilliance of God is in His redemptive power to heal everything broken.
Lessons on Hearing with the Heart: ”...the very skills we need to hear children as they go through their various stages in life – as babies, toddlers, adolescents, and then adults – are the same skills that sharpen our spiritual sensibilities toward God.”
Its Eternal Purpose: “Here’s a thought: Let’s accept that both marriage and parenting provide many good moments while also challenging us to the very root of our being. Let’s admit that family life tries us as perhaps nothing else does; but let’s also accept that, for most of us, this is God’s call and part of his plan to perfect us. Once we realize we are sinners, that the children God has given us are sinners, and that together, as a family, we are to grow toward God, then family life takes on an entirely new purpose and context.”
I do so appreciate the perspective of this book, it’s an affirmation of an integrated life in God. I wish that I knew “then” what I recognize now; I know that we missed so many opportunities for spiritual awareness and growth as our girls were growing up. However, I think this can be an encouragement to parents (new and long past) because it is a confirmation of our faith in an absolutely perfect Father, GOD, who “makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”
“The truth is, we are living in the midst of holy teachers. Sometimes they spit us on themselves or us. Sometimes they throw tantrums. Sometimes they cuddle and kiss and love us. In the good and the bad they mold our hearts, shape our souls, and invite us to experience God in newer and deeper ways.”
The book goes through various situations in life with children where God opens a window to eternal views of us all, as children of God…so we recognize the things that matter to God, what will endure through the Refiner’s Fire.
Parenting is Part of a Spiritual Journey: “Christian parenting is truly a sacred journey. It invites us parents to purify ourselves, to use the process of raising kids to perfect holiness, and to do this consistently, every day, out of reverence for God. If we enter it armed with this understanding, each segment will gain new meaning and purpose – even the difficult ones.”
A Tool to Pry Open Our Brokenness: “The process of parenting does two simultaneous yet contradictory things: It gives us unparalleled power, while also making us nakedly vulnerable. …The pain, the vulnerability, will never completely leave a parent’s soul. In man ways, it takes a tremendous act of courage to become a father or mother and expose yourself to such a threat.” Yet the brilliance of God is in His redemptive power to heal everything broken.
Lessons on Hearing with the Heart: ”...the very skills we need to hear children as they go through their various stages in life – as babies, toddlers, adolescents, and then adults – are the same skills that sharpen our spiritual sensibilities toward God.”
Its Eternal Purpose: “Here’s a thought: Let’s accept that both marriage and parenting provide many good moments while also challenging us to the very root of our being. Let’s admit that family life tries us as perhaps nothing else does; but let’s also accept that, for most of us, this is God’s call and part of his plan to perfect us. Once we realize we are sinners, that the children God has given us are sinners, and that together, as a family, we are to grow toward God, then family life takes on an entirely new purpose and context.”
I do so appreciate the perspective of this book, it’s an affirmation of an integrated life in God. I wish that I knew “then” what I recognize now; I know that we missed so many opportunities for spiritual awareness and growth as our girls were growing up. However, I think this can be an encouragement to parents (new and long past) because it is a confirmation of our faith in an absolutely perfect Father, GOD, who “makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”
December 3, 2017
Gary Thomas knocks it out of the park again. Sacred Marriage is at the top of my personal list of best books on marriage, and now Sacred Parenting joins the top of the list of parenting books. I can't give it any higher praise than just that I needed this book. Every chapter challenged me and resonated with me. Everything points back to the gospel, which is a refreshing reorientation for my heart. I will be referring back to this book a lot, and also referring others to it!
Some of my favorite quotes from the book:
"The process of raising children requires skills that God alone possesses, and we are decidedly not God."
"How terrifying to think that my kids could feel happy on the way to receiving the full brunt of God's wrath! Which is why C.J. Mahaney reminds us that the 'main thing' of parenting is praying, working, and striving for our children's salvation - and not just their salvation, but that they, too, will become servants of the gospel of Jesus Christ...This means accepting a very difficult but very important truth: Ultimately God's kingdom far outweighs in significance the personal comfort of my children."
"It is my job as my children's parent to model my own need for God's mercy and to demonstrate how God can use even sinful people to accomplish his aims."
"Here's a challenging thought: If our children grasp more clearly where they fall short of our expectations than they see how God's grace is transforming them, if they think we feel more burdened by them than thankful for them, it may be because they're being raised by a Pharisee."
"We have only one way to become mature and complete in God: We must develop the difficult but crucial discipline of perseverance."
"If we die to human potential, we can be resurrected to spiritual strength."
"If my soul focuses on these concerns [down payments, remodels, our appearance, subpar marriage] to the exclusion of loftier aims, I'm already living an antiquated life. In just two generations beyond - just two generations!- nobody will much care about the things that so greatly concern me now...What often gets our least attention - a heritage of faith - is the only thing we actually leave behind."
Some of my favorite quotes from the book:
"The process of raising children requires skills that God alone possesses, and we are decidedly not God."
"How terrifying to think that my kids could feel happy on the way to receiving the full brunt of God's wrath! Which is why C.J. Mahaney reminds us that the 'main thing' of parenting is praying, working, and striving for our children's salvation - and not just their salvation, but that they, too, will become servants of the gospel of Jesus Christ...This means accepting a very difficult but very important truth: Ultimately God's kingdom far outweighs in significance the personal comfort of my children."
"It is my job as my children's parent to model my own need for God's mercy and to demonstrate how God can use even sinful people to accomplish his aims."
"Here's a challenging thought: If our children grasp more clearly where they fall short of our expectations than they see how God's grace is transforming them, if they think we feel more burdened by them than thankful for them, it may be because they're being raised by a Pharisee."
"We have only one way to become mature and complete in God: We must develop the difficult but crucial discipline of perseverance."
"If we die to human potential, we can be resurrected to spiritual strength."
"If my soul focuses on these concerns [down payments, remodels, our appearance, subpar marriage] to the exclusion of loftier aims, I'm already living an antiquated life. In just two generations beyond - just two generations!- nobody will much care about the things that so greatly concern me now...What often gets our least attention - a heritage of faith - is the only thing we actually leave behind."
April 6, 2011
MY REVIEW:
Gary Thomas has written a thought provoking book that goes beyond the how-to's of parenting to the deeper issues of how parenting shapes us spiritually. I appreciated his open and honest sharing from his own life as he presented his ideas of how parenting is not just a responsibility but rather an opportunity for great spiritual growth.
I set this book down with a renewed hope toward the big, small, and daily challenges that come with being a parent as I gained a clearer focus on the the big picture of the gift of parenting. Thomas probes the hardest moments of parenting and does not dance lightly but pushes deeper into how the average days carry such a weight in the view of eternity. My favorite chapter was the one titled Joy! which challenged me to pray not "Lord change them!", but rather "Lord, change me!".
Sacred Parenting should be mandatory for every parent or parent-to-be to read. It provides hope and conviction in one dose. While it is a heavier read that offers a lot to ponder, it is also sprinkled with some very humorous stories both personal and second hand that bring a lightness to this stimulating volume.
BOOK OVERVIEW:
Parenting is a school for spiritual formation—and our children are our teachers. Instead of discussing how parents can change their kids, Gary Thomas turns the tables and demonstrates how God uses our kids to change us. You’ll be encouraged by stories that tell how other parents handled the challenges and difficulties of raising a godly family. Grow closer to Christ and your children as you learn to:?
-Freely enjoy your kids for who they are.
-Build a closer, grace-based family.
-Reduce the pressure felt for your kids to turn out perfect.
-Manage anger and negative responses towards your child’s behavior.
-Increase your sense of worth and respect as a parent.
Gary Thomas has written a thought provoking book that goes beyond the how-to's of parenting to the deeper issues of how parenting shapes us spiritually. I appreciated his open and honest sharing from his own life as he presented his ideas of how parenting is not just a responsibility but rather an opportunity for great spiritual growth.
I set this book down with a renewed hope toward the big, small, and daily challenges that come with being a parent as I gained a clearer focus on the the big picture of the gift of parenting. Thomas probes the hardest moments of parenting and does not dance lightly but pushes deeper into how the average days carry such a weight in the view of eternity. My favorite chapter was the one titled Joy! which challenged me to pray not "Lord change them!", but rather "Lord, change me!".
Sacred Parenting should be mandatory for every parent or parent-to-be to read. It provides hope and conviction in one dose. While it is a heavier read that offers a lot to ponder, it is also sprinkled with some very humorous stories both personal and second hand that bring a lightness to this stimulating volume.
BOOK OVERVIEW:
Parenting is a school for spiritual formation—and our children are our teachers. Instead of discussing how parents can change their kids, Gary Thomas turns the tables and demonstrates how God uses our kids to change us. You’ll be encouraged by stories that tell how other parents handled the challenges and difficulties of raising a godly family. Grow closer to Christ and your children as you learn to:?
-Freely enjoy your kids for who they are.
-Build a closer, grace-based family.
-Reduce the pressure felt for your kids to turn out perfect.
-Manage anger and negative responses towards your child’s behavior.
-Increase your sense of worth and respect as a parent.
February 5, 2018
"I try to thank God for my kids more than I ask God to change them."
"God care so much about you that he's willing to risk letting you raise one, two, three, or even more of his precious children."
This book provided the re-centering I needed. It showed me that being a parent is about raising kids, sure, but it's also about my own spiritual and emotional growth. Like Thomas' Sacred Marriage, the focus shifts off our selfish selves and onto our giving, growing selves. It helps us step back from the situation to see the bigger picture.
What this is NOT: a how-to, proscriptive parenting book (like Leman's Have a New Kid by Friday)
Every chapter includes stories--his own and others--along with observations. He quotes everything from Sports Illustrated to Augustine. I find Thomas well-read and thoughtful, interested in the whole person of his readers rather than simply their roles as parents. If you're anything like me, you'll close the back cover feeling encouraged that, even though you have messed up (and will again) as a parent, God has a greater plan.
I recommend this for parents --moms AND dads--who've been at this for awhile and want to see/know some fresh perspective.
"God care so much about you that he's willing to risk letting you raise one, two, three, or even more of his precious children."
This book provided the re-centering I needed. It showed me that being a parent is about raising kids, sure, but it's also about my own spiritual and emotional growth. Like Thomas' Sacred Marriage, the focus shifts off our selfish selves and onto our giving, growing selves. It helps us step back from the situation to see the bigger picture.
What this is NOT: a how-to, proscriptive parenting book (like Leman's Have a New Kid by Friday)
Every chapter includes stories--his own and others--along with observations. He quotes everything from Sports Illustrated to Augustine. I find Thomas well-read and thoughtful, interested in the whole person of his readers rather than simply their roles as parents. If you're anything like me, you'll close the back cover feeling encouraged that, even though you have messed up (and will again) as a parent, God has a greater plan.
I recommend this for parents --moms AND dads--who've been at this for awhile and want to see/know some fresh perspective.
April 23, 2020
This is my favorite parenting book yet. However I don't know if it would technically be considered a parenting book. Sacred Parenting does not focus on how to parent children but rather how to approach and understand your God given calling to be a parent. This is a book that gives you a mindset to approach parenting with, that being, God uses parenting as a tool to bring us closer to Him. I loved Gary Thomas' writing style. You can tell he is a well read man because he pulls stories and quotes from all across history and the world. This book is thoroughly gospel saturated and such a refreshing perspective on parenting. This book grew in me a deep respect for the God given calling of being a parent and completely humbled me with the challenge to love my kids like our Father loves us. I think this book has had a deep impact on my parenting even though it didn't give me one practical tool to try. The only reason it didn't get 5 stars is because there are a few sections that I don't totally agree with (because I am a working mom) however those parts are few and far between.
April 22, 2009
Really appreciated the overall theme of this book. As the book jacket will tell you, it's not a "how-to" parenting book, but instead focuses on the idea that God uses the very act of parenting to encourage our own spiritual growth. Not a completely new concept for me, but really affirmed the fact that yes, parenting is tough, and that's a good thing in some ways because the struggle itself can lead me closer to God if I let it.
It got a little repetitive at times, and some of the stories were a bit cliche. But I made notes of all the good stuff as I read it, because I want to be able to look back and remind myself what I learned, and try to stay aware of those things as I go through normal parenting challenges. (I tend to forget all these wonderful lessons as soon as I reach the next frustration point with my kids!)
It got a little repetitive at times, and some of the stories were a bit cliche. But I made notes of all the good stuff as I read it, because I want to be able to look back and remind myself what I learned, and try to stay aware of those things as I go through normal parenting challenges. (I tend to forget all these wonderful lessons as soon as I reach the next frustration point with my kids!)
April 25, 2018
I am a mother of teenagers and a four year old. Over the past decade I have learned first hand the sacredness of parenting. I had read and been challenged by Sacred Marriage a decade ago and was excited to find that Thomas had written a parenting book.
Though it was published 15 years ago, the stories he tells and the insight he offers for parenting children is a nice change from a parenting “how to” read. Thomas’s focus on the eternal throughout the book is refreshing for a parenting book. Many Christian parenting books do not have the Gospel and eternity as the center and focus readers on temporal matters of this earth.
To get a four star, a parenting book must be one that I will keep on my bookshelf and pull out to read highlighted portions when I need encouragement and wisdom for tough parenting days. And Sacred Parenting is one of those books.
Though it was published 15 years ago, the stories he tells and the insight he offers for parenting children is a nice change from a parenting “how to” read. Thomas’s focus on the eternal throughout the book is refreshing for a parenting book. Many Christian parenting books do not have the Gospel and eternity as the center and focus readers on temporal matters of this earth.
To get a four star, a parenting book must be one that I will keep on my bookshelf and pull out to read highlighted portions when I need encouragement and wisdom for tough parenting days. And Sacred Parenting is one of those books.
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